Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ HamHam High School ❯ Hot Ham and Chessey Violence ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

It was Right next to Pashmina's dress, which was SO LONG it FLOWED UNTO THE FLOOR, RIGHT WHERE THE CIGARETTE LANDED.

"Oh Stan, you are the hottest dancer here!"
"Well not as hot as you my little Flame of the night"
"Oh baby, I am so attracted to you like a moth to a …aaa…. Ahhhh!!!! FLAMES!!!!

AHHHH HELP I AM ON FIRE

HELPPPPPP!

OH MY GOD I AM BURNING UP!

SOMEONE HELP ME!

SOMONE PUT THE FIRE OUT!

OUCHI OUCH OUCHI IT HURT IT BURN IT HURTS IT BURNS IT HURTS IT BURNS IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS! IT HURTS IT BURNS!

(A/N: Wahoo the bitch Pashmina is on fire! ::and the crowd rejoiced::::)

Help me Stan!

"Oh my god Pashmina, I will save you" Stan yells as he runs over to the drinks table to grab the punch bowl to put out the flames on Pashmina.

"Umm Oxy"
"Yes Dexter"
"Isn't that Punch bowl pull of highly flammable alcohol which would make the little fire into a full blown inferno, cooking and killing Pashmina Nearly Instantly?!"
"Yes, Wise Dexter, it will with all the alcohol I put in there it would be like throwing Gasoline on a wild fire. So I suggest you take cover so you don't get burnt by the flame ball that is about to erupt" Oxnard says
"Pepper Hon, Did you bring the Marshmallows and Popcorn to roast over this campfire we are about to have"
"Yes Oxnard, I brought them just like you asked before the dance but I don't know what fire….." Pepper was cut off as she turned around and saw that Pashmina was on fire, at that moment realizing why Oxnard had asked for the marshmallows.
"Geez Oxy that is fucked up, but hilarious" Pepper continued as she grabbed a few marshmallows and some corn and put it on the end of a stick getting ready to roast it over the fireball.

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BBBBOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

A giant fireball erupts at the exact moment Stan Throws the punch on Pashmina to put the flames out, instead it burns her instantly as her skin boils off and her fur and dress are incinerated.

(A/N: So any fuckers who flame me understand this, I HATE PASHMINA. I HATE HER SO MUCH I HAD TO KILL HER IN A MOST PAINFUL MANNER! SO FLAME THIS ::: Pulls down pants and Moons the Flame Reviewers::: )

"Well that was certainly Interesting Light show," the DJ said over the PA system, thinking it was just a high school prank with some fireworks and nothing more.

"Yummy Marshmallows Oxy Honey" She said in between bites from her freshly roasted Popcorn and Marshmallows "This is the most romantic gift you could have gotten me for tonight. A Fireworks show and a brilliant orchestrated revenge upon the school slut who you know I hate"

"Oh honey its now over yet, you still have to keep your end of the bet!" Oxnard said with a devilish Grin. "It didn't make it in the trashcan, so you owe me! But not here and not now, I have 1 more gift for you before we leave this stinking rat-fest and do some REAL fun."

"Dexter! Work Your Magic" Oxnard suddenly shouts



Suddenly all the power, lights, and music went out all at once. Everyone was screaming in panic, and then suddenly a single strobe light came on. Next thing everyone knew all the fog machines started to turn on and the place suddenly got very Foggy. Suddenly the sound of duct tape is heard being unspooled quickly and a struggle is heard in the background. A minute later, a disco ball and some laser lights turn on and the fog machines turn on again, this time on maximum fog.

"What the fuck?!!?!?!" Pepper said in astonishment as a strange sound and music beat filled the air.

If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
(repeat)

He came to town like a midwinter storm
He rode through the fields so
Handsome and strong
His eyes was his tools and his smile was his gun
But all he had come for was having some fun



"Now I need to keep my bargain with Dexter, Pep Sweetie. I will be right back I need to find Hamtaro"

Off in the distance in the background stands the author of this fic, thinking what he should to next. After realizing that another author STOLE his idea about Oxnard's seed, he finds the perfect revenge to avenge that grave injustice.

"Oh Hamtaro can you come here please, Dexter has something to tell you"
"What the Hecka?" Hamtaro responded (A/N: Yay hamtaro is in the fic finally and he said a cuss word already!)
"Well Dexter over there wanted to know if you still have those videos of College Girl-Hams Gone wild UNCENSORED?"
"Yea of course I still have it… I store it in the dresser near my bed right next to my vibra………..umm….. Apple chips… yea that is it…. Right next to my apple chips….." :|:whew!:::
"Can you make of copy of it for him, and make a copy of the Pamela HAMerson Lee and Tommy Lee video as well" Oxnard asked politely (A/n: If you do not recognize the above video titles they are umm…. "Adult Films" if you do not know what an adult film is, then you are not 13 and you should not be reading this fic!)
"You know, Dexter hasn't been the same since his Girl ham broke up with him a few months ago, and its getting close to spring , and YOU know what that means for a boy-ham.... and "the urge" to umm… yaw know…." Oxy mentioned….
"Sure I will have it to him tomorrow, cool dude?" Hamtaro said in reply with a slight laugh at Dexter's "problem"
"So Hamtaro dude, why are you sitting here, all alone, not even eating, at this dance, in this quiet corner, and talking to no one?" Oxnard asked casually
"Well the author didn't know what to do with me in this first episode of Ham Ham highschool, so he waited to find the right role for me which isn't out of character. He could not think of any good roles for me, so he made the completely out of character as possible. Instead of me being a hyperactive ham that is always looking for an adventure and I am always positive things will work out. Instead I am the depressed, nerdy, shy ham, who has a girl he loves deeply, but he doesn't know how to tell her that he loves her, and I am sure when I tell her she will hate me forever. Therefore, that is my character, the shy, depressed nerd in the class, who is a virgin ham and enjoys a lot of HamXXX. But do not worry Oxnard; I will have a much larger role in the next episode." Hamtaro Explained
"Ahh that explains why you showed up here unexpectedly, but what about the author, what is his big revenge plot?" Oxnard Said
The author steps out of the shadows. He is a weird looking hamster, with Purple Fur all around, glasses, and what looks like a horn growing from his forehead.
"Hey hey my name is Troll, I am the author and I heard what you were saying, I thought I would explain what is happening to Crystallee." Troll said to Dexter.
"Oxnard, I have some bad news, Her Gang is trying to move in on your territory of drug dealing around here, she wants to try to steal all of your customers, and kill you so you can not compete with her." Troll said to Oxnard.
"WHAT! THAT LITTLE BITCH! I am so angry, I am going to find her and beat the shit out of her." Oxnard said angrily
"But that's not the worst part, she stole your seed, and is currently smoking you most expensive crack at her home right now." Troll said with a grin
"Hold on let me call in a Favor" Oxnard says as he grabs his cell phone and makes a call. All Troll could hear is a really bad Italian accent over the phone. After about 1 minute, the call was over and Oxnard turned to Dexter and Troll.
"I asked a couple of my associates, who owe me a favor or two, Go stop by her house and have a 'talk' with her. It's good to be friends with Tony Hamprano and the Hamprano's Family." Oxnard said…..

A/N: Well this is the end of Episode 1. I was told it was getting boring so I spiced up this chapter a bit. Review pppplllleeeeaaaasssseeee. All I ask is 5 words or more for a review. And review every future chapter, please? Thanks!


::::::Fade to black, Roll End Credits::::::::::::::::::::


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Who has Inspired Me:
The following Ham Hams were based upon MY view of some of the Friends in my life, people I know, etc. Most of you will find it hilarious too know you were my basis for these hamsters personalities in this story, some may kill me Oh well… Enjoy!

Penelope- Mindy MaMaw
Pashmina- Sharon Deluca (Thanks Craig for reminding me)
Stan- Dave Tripler
Bijou- My Ideal Woman, sweet, kind, nice, and many other things good.
Boss- Myself mostly in this episode. Episode 2 it will not be me.
Panda- Not based upon anyone I know.
Oxnard- Ryan Hess (if he was into all that drug use)
Cappy- Jim Albert
Jingle- Mike Dietrick AKA led sock
Troll- The author, Me!
Dexter- Dan Griffiths
Pepper- Morgan "Trin" McLamb
Elder Ham- Fr. Frank
Maxwell- Young Craig
Sandy- Debbie

Goooooooood Bye folks till Episode 2 rolls Around!
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teruNe idoMa maruChibi daPan
ushiKo hamuTora bonchanRi
buruKa taroHamu furaMa shooTai
ganeMe ponoTsu gariTon

Tottoko Hamu-Hamu Tottoko Mohi-Mohi
Tottoko Kushi-Kushi Heke-Heke!

Yaa yaa yaa yaa yaa ulalala!
Yaa yaa yaa yaa ulala!
Yaa yaa yaa yaa yaa ulalala!
Yaa yaa yaa yaa ulala yaa!

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