Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Angel of Mercy ❯ Confeshion ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Integra was in the records room sifting through countless dusty cabinets. When Walter had brought her the files on Julia, she had noticed none where dated until nearly a hundred years after Julia being turned. There should have been at least some mention somewhere before then, Integra wanted to know why there wasn‘t.

The cabinet she was looking in now was a catalog of all the reports filed, for about ten years of the late Victorian era. The Hellsings had always been very good about keeping records.

She found what she was looking for under Capulet, the name Walter had assured her was Julia’s last name. There where over fifty reports listed, ranging from a cover up of Julia’s death, to an account of Julia and Alucard’s battle with another vampire. Integra read the numbers on the reports listed and went to find them in another cabinet across the room.

The files weren’t there and the cabinet was almost empty. Someone had clearly removed the files. What Integra could not guess was when or why. They could have been taken out at any time for the last several hundred years. It did seem likely though that it had been during the same time period as the original writing of the files. If it had been some one more recently, logic would seem to expect that the later files would have been destroyed as well. All the files from World War II and onward where intact.

Integra disliked feeling as if something was being hidden from her. In her experience not knowing things could prove to be very dangerous. Integra remembered Walter telling her about moving the painting of Julia and Mary up into the main portrait gallery and she decided to leave the stuffy record room to see it. Maybe she would find her answers there.
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The blurriness of the photograph had hidden how faded the painting was. The paint was beginning to flake away in places. The portrait clearly had not been stored properly. On closer inspection the brush strokes on the picture proved to be very broad and almost careless as if it had been painted very quickly by a fairly skilled amateur, but not a master painter. It was bellow the quality a portrait, of a member of the Hellsing family, normally would be.

“She was beautiful wasn’t she?” said a quit voice. Integra whirled around to glare at Julia who was standing behind her looking at the painting. Julia wasn’t very concerned by the glare, knowing it was more Integra’s annoyance at being startled than any particular dislike of her. She continued to speak her voice slightly sad.

“I thought this was destroyed with everything else. I wonder how Cain missed it.” Integra recognized the name of Mary’s son.

“So was it Cain who destroyed the files about you?”

“Yes,” replied Julia absently, moving to stand beside Integra in order to see the painting better.”

“Why?” demanded Integra beginning to be annoyed at the vampires aloofness.

“He despised me. He probably would have ordered Alucard to kill me if he thought he could have made him kill his own fledgling.”

“Why couldn’t he order Alucard to kill you?” asked Integra wondering why her ancestry would have had anything but complete control over Alucard. Julia glanced at her thoughtfully an eyebrow half raised.

“That’s simple. In essence with the seals you control Alucard by a blood tie, because he has taken your blood he must obey you. In the past Alucard has taken my blood and given me his. While neither of us has the power to control the other, we still share that blood tie. On a very low level we have the instinct the protect each other, or at least not cause one another harm. If you where to order Alucard to destroy me, that blood tie might be enough for him to refuse the order. You can’t order a vampire to kill their own sire, or fledgling,” Once finished speaking Julia looked back at the picture. Integra had a feeling that Julia was skirting a subject, but she was not certain what that was. She decided to ask another question.

“Why did Cain hate you?”

“It’s a complex story, and I know you don’t have the time to listen to it now.” Integra glanced at her watch and saw that Julia was right, she had an appointment in fifteen minuets. How did Julia know that?

“We’ll talk again later. Meet me in my office tomorrow evening for tea.”

“I’ll see you then,” said Julia turning away from the picture and walking out of the room.

“At least she doesn’t phase through the walls like Alucard,” thought Integra as she exited through the opposite door to head to her appointment.
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The following evening Integra sat in her office working through the usual pile of documents. A porcelain tea service containing two tea pots and two cups brought in by Walter earlier was set off to the side. She wondered if it might have been wise to state a specific time, but decided it wasn’t particularly important. Vampires were like cats, they showed up when they felt like it.

A soft knock sounded from the office door. “Come in,” said Integra without glancing up. She heard the door open and shut, then set down her paperwork to greet Julia. She couldn’t help but blink in surprise. It was the first time she had seen Julia in anything other that her heavy cloak.

She wore a simple pair of black pants and a silk, deep purple shirt with Renaissance length sleeves. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and tied with a ribbon the same color as her shirt. A small golden locket hung on a delicate chain around her neck.

Her slender form, normally completely concealed by her cloak was now visible. Integra noticed how young Julia had been when she became a vampire. She was at that point where a girl is beginning to become a woman, with her first curves, but hasn‘t completely filled out yet. If Julia had been able to grow into a full woman she would have probably been very beautiful. She was like an ivory sculpture of a rosebud beginning to bloom, frozen forever at the edge of a promise never to be fulfilled.

Julia’s current garb was in strong contrast with her normal appearance. It was clear she had made an effort to look a bit more formal. Integra mentally chided herself for being surprised at the change in Julia’s appearance. After all, Julia had been an English noble woman in life. No self respecting English woman would come to tea with a Knight of the Royal Order looking disheveled or slovenly.

“Please, take a seat,” said Integra motioning to the empty chair across from her desk. She moved the papers out of the way and the tea tray into there place. Julia sat down, glancing at the two tea pots uncertainly. Surely, Integra, as a Hellsing, would know vampires could consume no substance other than blood?

Ingra placed a cup and the darker tea pot in front of Julia, then poured a cup of tea for herself from the lighter tea pot. Julia copied her action uncertainly with the darker tea pot. Well, sometimes humans did forget what she was. It was usually better just to pretend to accept food or drink when it was offered.

She lifted the cup up to her lips to pretend to drink and nearly dropped the fine china in surprise, as she was met by the sent of blood. Reheated medical blood of course, but human blood none the less. Integra was more thoughtful than she gave her credit for.

Julia sipped at the warm liquid remembering another human who she had shared tea with in a similar manner long ago. Julia could feel Integra’s eyes upon her. The silence was becoming uncomfortable. “What is it you wanted to ask me?” asked Julia.

“I do not intent to pry, but I would like to know how what exactly your connection with my ancestor Mary Victoria Hellsing was. The various things I have learned about your history with her do not make sense when put together. I was hoping you could clarify.”

Julia sighed and set down her cup. She was still to a degree uncertain how much she should trust this human, or how Integra would respond when she told her about her past. “It’s a long story do you really want to hear it all?”

“I have a few hours free, all that awaits me is paperwork. I could use a break,” replied Integra the hint of a challenge in her voice. She wanted answers.

“Alright then. As you may have gathered your ancestor Mary, and I where lovers,’ said Julia calmly. Although Integra has suspected this, she was still surprised to hear it in so many words.

She kept her expression cool and asked with hint of doubt. “A Hellsing let themselves become involved with a vampire?” Julia shook her head.

“No, I was human when we fell in love. We where both daughters of noble families and friends as children. When we grew older our emotions towards each other changed and we found ourselves in love. We where wise enough to hide what was between us, and foolish enough to think it could continue without consequences. It was because of my involvement with her that my human life ended.” Julia glanced at Integra gauging her expression to find her reaction but Integra’s blank face told her nothing.

“Continue,” said Integra, and Julia did knowing Integra would not be satisfied until she knew the whole truth.

“As you well know Marie’s brother and father where killed by a powerful group of vampires that existed at that time. As the only surviving member of her family leadership of Hellsing fell to her, a girl no older than seventeen. She handed led her duty with skill and dignity, much as you have.

“Sadly, in her knew situation she found herself no longer free to see me. She had to keep up an image of power and diligence, and could not be seen as taking the leisure of spending time with a friend. Also, certain people, where becoming suspicious that there was more than friendship between us. Her new position of power was not strong enough to withstand a scandal, if we where found out. We had to be careful, but that did not mean we stopped seeing each other, after all we where teenage girl and very much in love.

“At night we would both sneak away from our homes and meet in the forest that stood behind Hellsing manor at that time. There we could just be together, free from the eyes of the world. In our happiness we where careless, and the same group of vampires who had murdered Mary’s father and brother wanted her dead as well. One of them found out about her nocturnal habits and made a plan to murder her.

“You see they couldn’t touch her while she was in the forest because she was too close the manor and still under Alucard’s protection. She need have only called for him and he would have been there in an instant to defend her from any attacker. But one thing I was not aware of at the time, was that when I left Mary to return home, Mary sent Alucard to follow in the shadows and protect me.

“While Alucard was gone, she was walking back through the forest alone at night and very vulnerable. The vampires planned to attack her then, and to keep Alucard from rushing back to rescue her they would have another group of vampires attack me. Alucard would be bound by Mary’s order to protect me, and thus not able to cease protecting me to rescue Mary. The vampires would then be free to do with her as they liked.”

“I take it there plan didn’t work out?” asked Integra growing very interested in the story. Julia saw this and continue slightly more confidently.

“Not exactly. Mary, much like you, was a very skilled sword fighter able to hold her own in a fight, even with a vampire. She was able to defend herself when attacked. The vampires also didn’t realize what Mary’s exact order to Alucard where. When Alucard had first come under her control the one order she had told him to always obey, under any circumstance, was the protect her. When I was attacked he was able to override Mary’s order to protect me, with the stronger order to protect her.

“He went to aid Mary and left me alone at the mercy of a vampire, who had just seen Alucard kill his comrade. I was not completely helpless. I had the two silver daggers Mary had given me and been training me to use, but I was just a young girl fighting a monster. I managed only to scratch my attacker and enrage him enough for him to decide to kill me very slowly, and painfully.

“By the time Alucard had dealt with the vampires attacking Mary and returned to save me, I had enough mortal wounds, and far too little blood left, to have any hope of surviving. He gave me to choice to die there, or to continue as a vampire. I didn’t want to leave Mary, so I chose to continue.”

“Do you ever regret that?” asked Integra delicately, she knew she was treading on thin ground. The question hung in the air as a look passed between the two women. Integra had asked a very personal question. They both knew Integra had asked it purely because she wanted to know.

Julia paused for a long moment looking at Integra thoughtfully. If anyone else had asked the question she would have refused to reply, but something about Integra made her want to answer. She was so much like Mary in her appearance and her nature, from her stunning blue eyes to her confident manner, it was haunting. Julia felt as if she where speaking to Mary again, and she could never could have refused to tell Mary anything.

Very softly she said, “How could I regret continuing as a vampire? If I didn’t make that choice I would have died there, and been parted from Mary. I chose this life.”

“Mary didn’t mind you being a vampire?” Again Integra asked a personal question but the tension was gone from the air. They both knew Julia would answer.

“It would have hurt her more to lose me completely. Remember Integra we where both very young and blinded by our emotions. She would have loved me even if I had become as much a monster as Alucard. She always did blame herself though, she thought it was her fault for putting me in that situation in the first place. She didn’t rest until she had had the group of vampires, which organized the assassination, ruthlessly hunted down, tortured and eventually destroyed.

“She never forgave Alucard for failing to protect me. She wanted to seal him away as your father did generations later, but I convinced her not to because I was bound by blood to him and needed him to teach me how to survive as a vampire. I didn‘t bear any grudge against him, I was glad that he had saved Mary instead of me. She would have not been willing to become a vampire, as I was, and we would have been separated.”

Julia’s voice petered off and she sat silently staring at the red liquid in her cup the irony of what she had just said echoing in her ears. Eventually she and Mary had been separated, by that very same veil of death, except it had been in time Mary who fell behind it and she who was forced to keep on living alone.

Integra said nothing. She could see the pain in the vampires expression. It was strange she had never really thought a vampire capable of love or such deep grief. The only vampires she had ever known, aside from the ones she ordered the destruction of, where Alucard, and Seres. She did not pretend to understand Alucard, and Seres was so new to her living death, she was still more human than vampire. Yet before her sat an immortal in the form of a young girl, her ruby eyes darkened with sorrow for a human who’s earthly form had long since returned to dust.

“What happened next, was that when you came to live in Hellsing manor?” Integra asked as gently as she could. Julia glanced up at her.

“My family was told I had died meeting a ghastly end at the hands of an attacker on the London streets, when I had ventured out after dark. Hellsing saw to it that the unidentifiable corps of an unlucky woman from the city morgue, who truly had met such a fate, was buried in my place.”

“What happened when Mary married? Did the two of you have to separate then?” asked Integra thoughtfully. Julia gave her a curious look as if she had said something very silly and a slight smile graced her lips where sadness had just been.

“Of course not, we stayed together as always. Mary’s marriage to Jonathan was arranged and purely for the sake of political gain and the continuation of their respective family lines. This was understood on both sides. Jonathan was in love with a common woman who his family would not let him marry, but with whom he had several illegitimate children. There was no farce of love or faithfulness between Jonathan and Mary.”

“Did he know about you?”

“Yes, but we both had the good sense to avoid each other. I don’t think I ever said more than a few words to him in his entire life.”

“Why did Cane have records of your time at Hellsing during Mary’s life destroyed?” asked Integra.

“He greatly disliked me. I believe he blamed me for the lack of love between his parents. When Mary died I left Hellsing before he could take any action against me. He systematically tried to destroy any and everything that even mentioned me. I don’t know how he missed the portrait.”

“What did you do after Mary died when you left Hellsing.”

“Mostly I wandered around for a while. I saw all of the places I had wanted to as a human, but never had the chance too. I chased all the dreams I never thought I could realize.”

“You handles her death that well?” asked Integra. Julia’s smile vanished in an instant and coldness replaced it. When she spoke her voice was slightly bitter.

“Of course not, I wanted to kill myself. I’d continued as a vampire only to remain with her, when she died I lost my reason to continue.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because she told me to!” there was sharp anger in Julia’s voice, as old wounds where reopened. Integra did not hide her expression of surprise at her outburst, and she feared she finally had gone to far. Julia saw this and calmed down, her voice again resuming it‘s soft melodies lilt like the notes of a well played harp.

“During out life together Mary changed and lived as all humans do, but I didn’t. I really never altered from the girl who I was when my human life ended, and I never really saw how she changed until close to her death. I think we where always like too young lovers with not thought for the future or the past so long as we had the present.

“In her old age Mary grew very wise. She knew that I would not continue without her, but she realized I had not really had the chance to live. As a human I was a poet and a dreamer, but as a vampire I spend my time by Mary’s side and pursued no ambitions of my own.

“Before she died she made me promise I would keep living after she was gone and purse all the dreams I had told her about when we where girls. I promised her that, I would have promised her anything. At that time, even though I saw her hair graying and form growing weak, I still could not believe I would lose her. Lovers are truly the greatest fools.

“When she died it nearly destroyed me. I mourned her as the young girl I still was then, with the sharp sorrow of one who does not yet truly understand the inevitability of death, but simply feels they have been terribly wronged by something beyond there control. I am no oath breaker, I kept my promise and did not end my borrowed life but the girl Mary loved died with her. The poetry that was my second nature as a youth ceased forever that day to echo in my thought.

“I finally grew up. It was the years following Mary’s death that made me the woman I am now. I traveled the world, and even crossed the ocean to the America’s when I was strong enough.

“When I returned to England long after Cain’s death I published, under a false name, a volume of poetry I had written during Mary’s life. That done the last of my human goals was finally accomplished the grief became bearable. I was able to see the world around me, now transformed by several human life times and find it fascinating.

“After I sired my first fledgling and for a time had someone who actually needed me, I realized I really did want to keep living. It was not long after that I found there was also a need for me upon the battlefields of man’s conflicts, and began my mercy killings of mortally wounded solders. During World War II I learned rumors of the Millennium project from one of my fellow vampires

“This was something in that whole accursed war that finally fell into my realm. You may not realize it Integra but the vast majority of vampires despised Millennium, we do not appreciate our kind being used at tools for war by humans. When I by chance ran across Walter, and realized Hellsing was taking actions against Millennium I decided to ally with Hellsing once again.”

“Once the war ended I left Hellsing again, for I had no desire to help hunt my own kind. Nothing that would interest you happened after that, until my recent conflict with Vashnicalf.”

Julia finished her confession in the same tone of voice with which she had begun and it was followed by three chimes from a distant church bell. Integra glanced at her watch and saw that it was 3:00 am she had been so fascinated by Julia’s story that she had not realized it had gotten so late.

“Thank you for answering my questions Julia, that does clear up things a great deal. I apologies if I asked anything out of place.”

“No, it’s fine,” said Julia.

“Very good then.” said Integra briskly trying to shake off the feeling of unease that seemed to cling to them both. “If you wish, your welcome to join me again for tea tomorrow evening. Now the hour is late, I must retire.”

“I’ll see you then,” said Julia standing, and treading with the soundless footsteps only a vampire, or a cat can posses, she exited the same way she had entered through the heavy oak doors. Integra sat for a moment lost in thought, then she too stood and headed to her room to catch a few hours sleep before the next day.

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Authors Note: Sorry I took so long on this chapter, but it’s so important to the story so I wanted to get it right. I hope you enjoyed it. As always feedback is welcome, I‘d really like to know what people think about this chapter especially.Converting /tmp/phpUZktoN to /dev/stdout