Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Angel of Mercy ❯ Kiss ( Chapter 15 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

When Julia woke up, she was in the familiar coffin full of English soil she had spent her time at Hellsing sleeping in. She opened the lid and looked about the stone room. A lone candle burned on one of the walls, and there were now three coffins. She could sense Tobias and Julia were in the latter two.

Tobias was weak, but sure to pull through. Rachiel was just in need of a good feeding. Julia knew she needed to get some blood for all of them. She climbed out of her coffin, slightly shaky from her own hunger, and walked to the door.

It was not locked, but Walter was waiting on the other side, clearly standing guard. “I need to get some blood bags for me and the others,” Julia told him curtly.

“I’ll have some one bring blood for Tobias and Rachiel. Integra has given orders that you were to speak with her in her office as soon as you woke up.” Walter apologetic but firm.

“I need to feed,” said Julia, not needing to remind Walter she had lost a fair amount of blood the night before.

“Integra should have some medical blood for you there.” Walter’s voice grew even softer. He had a sad expression on his face, Julia understood.

“Are you afraid events may lead to your fighting me, old friend?”

“My loyalties lie with Sir Integra”

“You know I would never willingly raise hand against a former comrade.”

“Even if I was ordered to kill one of your fledglings?”

“Then and only then I would fight you,” she could not meet his eyes, “My loyalties lie with my kin.”

“Then we see how we each stand,” said Walter, his voice now clear, “Let us hope we do not come into conflict and if we do you know it is nothing personal. I have not forgotten how you helped me in the great war Angel of Mercy.”

“I understand old friend.” Julia turned and walked away towards Integra’s office.
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When Rachiel awoke half a moon span after her grandsire, she found herself in a coffin full of the rich sent of Russian soil. For a brief moment she thought she was back in France in her own coffin nestled in the cool wine cellar of her home. Michael would have just risen from his coffin located in a deeper room of the vast winery. She would hear his footsteps as he made his way up the stairs to go and greet Joshua who would be returning from his day at the university.

She would soon follow him, and run to greet her brother and see what her brought her. He always brought her a small gift from one of the shops he passed on his way home. Always small things, like postcards, flowers or books, sometimes even the fashion magazines she loved so much, which he claimed it embarrassed him to buy.

They would all eat together. Joshua a meal of normal food he prepared for himself and the immortals medical blood they procured through a contact at a local hospital. Then they would go out, some times to a movie or the theater. Michael always loved the opera.

Slowly as Rachiel laid in the coffin her memories cruelly returned to her and she had to stifle sobs, Michael was dead and Joshua but a soul now bound to her own. She reached up and with a trembling hand and pushed off the lid of her coffin to be met by a cold stone room smelling of mold, not aging wine. She could not check her tears anymore.

As she stood she heard a deep voice, almost like a serpents. “Why do you weep little one.”

“Who are you?” she asked drying her eyes and glancing around now that she knew she was not alone. There where two other coffins in the room one of them open but the voice did not come from them.

“I am you ancestor,” replied the voice as a dark shape took form, and Rachiel recognized the vampire she had seen the night before.

“Are you Alucard?” she asked drawing back.

“Of course, and what is your name?” There was a playful but dangerous mockery in the old vampire’s voice. Rachiel felt as if she where transfixed by a serpent.

“Rachiel,” Alucard steeped forward making her stumble back against her coffin. He reached out and captured her face in his hand looking her over thoughtfully.

“So this is what my blood line has dwindled to. A flat chested whelp, far to young to have been turned. Why did your sire turn one as weak as you?”

Forcing the fear from her voice Rachiel replied, “So I would not die!” Alucard threw back his head and laughed.

“For that reason alone? No care for the strength of his bloodline ate all? The one who sired you must have been a weakling as well.”

In one quick angry motion Rachiel punched Alucard. “Don’t you dare insult Michael!” The punch was not the sort thrown by a young girl, but and angry young man, and the words and voice where Joshua’s also.

Alucard smiled in amusement steeping back from the body now controlled by Joshua‘s soul. “And who is this? Ah I can see from your memories. You are the soul of that late vampires lover. Such a fiery spirit, it is a shame that your sister and not you became an immortal.”

“Let them be,” said Tobias his voice holding a narrow threat as he stepped out of his coffin. He moved slowly to Rachiel’s sides. Tobias still weak from his injury.

“Do you have better things to do than harass you descendant? Can’t you see she needs to feed?”

Alucard surrendered his game as he noticed Tobias’s weakened state. After such an injury he should not have been moving around.

“Your not looking much better yourself,” he said the mirth vanishing from his voice. “I can see you do not welcome my company. I leave you to each other.” Alucard dissipated into mist and was gone.

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IntegraR 17;s desk was clear of papers when Julia entered. Integra sat with her hands folded, clearly waited. “Sit,” she ordered calmly and Julia obeyed. When Julia opened her mouth to speak Integra hushed her and spoke herself, pushing a cup of blood to Julia.

“I believe I may have been a little harsh in condemning your descendent, before I learned the of the full situation. I trust you can explain it to me?”

Julia nodded accepting the peace offering, “Rachiel is a fledgling of my late fledgling Michael. She came into association with him because he and her older brother Joshua was lovers with Michael. There was a fourteen year age gap between the siblings, and Rachiel was still living with the parents while Michael was a graduate student. When their parents were killed in an accident, Rachiel went to live with her older brother and Michael.

“Unfortunately when she was around ten she was diagnosed with a chronic form of Lukemia. When treatments failed Michael offered to turn her into a vampire and she accepted. She was twelve at the time, that was last year.”

“She’s only thirteen?” Integra was surprised.

“Yes, as I told you before she is only a child.” Julia’s tone held a silent accusation, but she continued her narrative.

“As far as I can gather from Rachiel, they were attacked in Paris by Vatican hunters and Michael was killed protecting them. They escaped to London trying to find me, but I was in Russia dealing with Vashnicalf. Iscarot members found them and Joshua was mortally wounded from a bullet wound in the chest.

“As he was dying he ordered Rachiel to drink his blood. She stabbed the body through the heart so that he would not rise again as a ghoul, that must have been what your human saw.”

Integra pondered Julia’s words for a moment wondering if she could trust the vampires honestly in this mater. She certainly wanted to believe her.

“How to I know your not lying?”

“Look up the names Rachiel and Joshua Enshaw in the French national records. The files should confirm their original immigration as children and their parents death. The corpse you recovered should be identifiable as Joshua’s body. You’ll find the bullet wound. Surely Rachiel would not have shot her own brother, and not with a silver bullet.”

“I will look into this matter and when your claims are verified Rachiel will be cleared of all charges and free to leave.”

“That simple?” Asked Julia very relieved.

“Yes, and I fear I was a bit harsh with you before. You will forgive me, but I am in the business of destroying undead, not judging them. Integra was also not in the business of making apologies either, and this was hard to say.

“Just remember, all monsters begin as humans.”

“I know Julia, you seem more human to me than many of the people around me.” She leaned back in her chair cradling a cup of tea in her hand, relaxing and talking the last fragments of tension from the room.

“Tell me something Julia, because I have always wondered this, “What is it that vampires miss most, after the loss their mortality. You’ve all got eternal life, beauty, power, but I’ve never seen one of you truly happy.”

Julia closed her ruby eyes. “What you miss most is warmth and the feel of my own heart beat. I never noticed it when I was alive, but now I notice the silence and the cold. As a vampire my body is the same temperature as the air around me, I feel numb. An eternity of numbness means very little. Humans create, vampires can only preserve and destroy. For all our pride vampires can‘t exist without humans, humans can do just fine without vampires”

“Without thinking Integra reached across the table and touched Julia’s hand. It was cool, but not icy, it was like the feel of a cool silk sheet on a hot summer night. It sent pleasant shivers down her spine.

Julia could feel the warmth of Integra’s hand bleeding into her own. It had veen so long since she had touched someone with a beating heart. Without thinking she turned the palm of her hand to meet Integra’s. “Why do you ask me what it means to be a vampire. I know you have no desire to become one.”

Integra remained silent. “Is it because you see something of yourself in me? You are bound to duty and I posses the freedom you wish for.

“I’ve chosen the life I live, duty only binds me because I chose to let it.”

Julia smiled, like a fox that had fooled a hound. “It’s not your desires you see in me, it’s your loneliness.” Integra yanked her hand back and stood turning away from Julia. “I’m not lonely. Don’t accuse me of some weak emotion. Julia stood, walking around the desk to stand behind Integra.

“Then why do you let no one close to you? How long has it been since someone has even touched you?”

“I’m not alone. I’m the leader of Hellsing, many people follow me,” snarled Integra.

“Yes they follow you, but their your servants not your companions.”

“There’s Walter.”

“Yes, but he still obeys you. He’s not your equal. Just because you are a strong leader does not mean your not alone.” Integra clenched her hands in frustration. Who was this impudent vampire to question her? Who was she to call her lonely? She whirled around to face Julia.

“Your just as alone as I am!”

“I know.” Julia held her ground against Integra’s icy glare. Integra realized in that one moment that Julia was the one person she could claim as an ally, yet not control. Julia was not bound to her by force, like Alucard, or duty like her solders. She was the one person she could meet as an equal, the one person she could dare let close to her.

Something inside Integra snapped. In one swift motion she stepped closer, closing the distance between them and pulled Julia to her and kissed her passionately. Somehow it was strangely fitting that the great vampire hunter’s first kiss, was with a vampire.

Julia was too stunned to respond, until Integra pulled back to catch her breath. “God Julia, last night I was so afraid I would lose you. It broke my heart when you left this room in anger.” Julia leaned forward and kissed her gently. Her lips cool and feathery against Inegra’s like a dove’s wing. Tentatively she sought out Integra‘s hands and interlocking their fingers, warmth mingling with cool porcelain. She stepped back their hands still tangled, and when Integra tried to kiss her again she turned her head away.

“We must not do this,” she was shaking slightly as she spoke, and her hands clung to Integra’s.

“Why not?” asked Integra softly still intoxicated by the kiss.

“You are too much like Marie, I see her when I look upon you.” The resolve in Julia’s words was no strong. The expression on Intergra’s face was breaking her heart. There was a look of hurt and confusion on her face, but it only lasted a moment. Then the mask expression that befitted a Hellsing of royal blood returned. Her voice was sharp and cold.

“I am not my ancestor, and you know it. Her blood runs in my veins, but I am my own person. Marie is dead, and I am living and with you now. Will you cower in a fading memory, or accept the present.”

Julia looked at her for a long moment, teetering on a decision. She could still feel Integra’s warmth fading from her lips, and with it her resolve. She had been cold far too long. She couldn’t bear it anymore. She closed the distance between them in a single step, and claimed Integra’s lips once more.

Integra pulled her close, and they clung to each other in the shadows of the rising moon. Integra felt duty and obligation falling away overwhelmed by the comfort of holding and being held. Both were terribly proud, and both had relied on no one but themselves for far to long. One had long ago buried a lover, and the other had never known a lovers touch. Somehow they met on middle ground. The two women cast off an eternity of solitude for a lovers embrace, and the brief brilliant flame passion’s cares can bring. Somewhere in the dark of the night two lost souls found comfort.

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Integra woke slowly keeping her eyes closed for as long as possible, knowing the feeling of security and continent she felt would vanish as soon as she let herself reenter the real world. Slowly she stretched like a cat awakening from a nap, still sluggish with the warmth of the blankets around her.

When she reached out to where Julia had been sleeping beside her and was met by nothingness, she was at last forced to open her eyes. She was alone in the chaotic ocean of white sheets that made up her bed. For a moment she might have thought it all a dream, if she had not seen the dark purple hair ribbon that Julia had worn the night before, laid on the pillow beside her. It was a quiet reminder of what had occurred in the night, and perhaps a wordless apology by Julia for her absence.

Integra broke the peaceful silence mumbling to herself, “What did I expect? She’s a vampire, of course she couldn’t be here when I woke up.” Her words died away as she looked closer at the picture window, through which the bright sunlight that now illuminated her room was filtering. She could remember Julia standing there in the moonlight, having quietly slipped from the bed after they had finished with the heat of passion.

Integra had silently watched her new lover lost in thought, as she gazed at the stars. Her long dark hair was in elegant contrast with the ivory white of her neck and slender exposed shoulders.

Julia had seemed so fragile then, with no garments to hide her innocent appearing form. In the cool moonlight she truly could have been a living youth. She seemed captured for only a instant at that impossibly slim and slightly curved time before the true fullness of womanhood, not frozen there for eternity.

Integra had known then that Julia’s physical body was truly no more than an illusion, that could be as real as stone or as insubstantial as smoke. Though Julia had once been an innocent young girl, she was now a very old soul, and at the same time something more. Even the name was nothing more than a human tag the immortal had chosen to cling to. She was like a many sided crystal, each face reflecting the light differently, all but part of a whole.

Integra saw in Julia the part of herself that had died so many years ago, with her father’s death, her uncles betrayal, and everything she had had to do become the leader she now was. She had learned to harden her heart and hide her emotions so that the world could not hurt her. She become who she had to be to serve her country, god and queen. The young woman who might have known how to find her own happiness was lost somewhere along the way.

Yet, Julia was the flip side of the coin. In her final conflict as a human she had died and never had to grow to necessity as Integra had. Julia may have been wise, but part of her would always be frozen as who she was when she took her last breath. She still possessed a few of the beautiful, cruel shards of eternal innocents. Integra who had learned to protect her heart, Julia never did. In her many years of non life she had born each sorrow with the sharp grief of youth, feeling every loss as if it was the first loss.

Integra had been fascinated by Julia ,because of this inverse reflection,. She had been drawn to her by need and unspoken loneliness, but it was in that brief moment she began to truly love her. It was something different than a girlish crush, or lust filled desire. It felt as if a small flame sparked in a part of her heart, that she had long ago thought turned to ice.

Even if after that moment if she could never be with Julia again, even if duty pulled them apart, she knew she would continue her life with that quite ember within herself. It wasn’t like words of poetry of foolish romantic songs. It was somehow more real, and certain. The sun would rise tomorrow, she would love Julia. She wondered if what was between them would lead to her ruin, surely she was a fool to lay with a vampire.

Then she realized she didn‘t care. She knew Julia would never betray her, after all Julia had safely spend a human life time with Mary. Even if by some terrible luck they where every found out, a few bribes or threats in the right place could always buy silence. She had spend her whole waking life doing her duty, why shouldn’t a few dark hours of the night belong to her? She would never be free to love a mortal, so why shouldn’t she at least be able to love a shadow? Could she not have one fragment of happiness in her brutal existence?

Very softly she called Julia back into the warmth of the bed, and they had laid arms and leg intertwined, forehead’s touching, in the sweet comfort of simply being close. Integra could feel the warmth of her skin seeping into the cold of Julia’s, the steady rhythm of her heart beating for both of them. Never before in her life had she both held some one, and been held at the same time, comforted and been comforted. They where two halves of one whole, as if there was only one soul between them. Sleep had found them quickly leading them into peaceful dreams.

Integra allowed herself to lie in thought and memory for nearly an hour that morning. When he mind returned to the present she noticed the time, and dressed quickly hurrying to her office to begin work before anyone noticed her late arrival. Her nights might now be her’s, but her days still belonged to Hellsing.

Her mind was elsewhere that day as she performed her duties, but if anyone noticed they said nothing. Walter did give her a curios glance as he brought her the afternoon tea. He was old, but no fool. He knew Integra, he knew the look of a woman in love, and he knew what had been kindling between the human and the immortal. He also knew a poorly fated romance when he saw one, but he spoke no warning to Integra.

Though he still often thought of her as very young, he knew Integra was a grown woman and had to live for herself. He would not have obeyed her orders if he thought her a fool. Yet he wondered if Integra could see the cruelty she would in time do to Julia. If all went well Integra would have a life time with Julia, but when her mortal life ended she would abandon the immortal to cold eternity with another weight upon her heart.

He wondered if Julia could survive losing a second love, and realized with some regret he himself would not longer be living when that occurred. His dwindling years would not permit him to see the end of this story.



Authors note: I hope you’ve been enjoying the story. I just realized I’ve been working on it for over a year, but I’m finally getting near the end. I’m sorry I’ve been so slow on updates. Review if you like it, and all that jazz.