InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ "Kikyo Fic" (title subject to change) ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimers: I don't own InuYasha and company, and probably never will. It's sad, but true. The life of an otaku is a depressing one….

A/N: I want to make this clear; I started this fic YEARS ago!!! I'm just going to type up what I have and leave it at that. The beginning is really choppy because I started it when I was in… in… sixth grade, I think. Lol, and it all started with a weird idea I got and wrote down, thinking I'd just leave it at that. Then A-sama read it and it grew and grew. ^.^;;

I've tried typing this fic up several times and the computer has either crashed or I was caught. This fic is full of lemons. That's why I try really hard not to get caught, because I still live under my father's roof. ^.^;; Don't expect this fic to be constantly updated. Once or twice a week maybe… Parts of this were done in pencil, thus were blurred, and now I'm trying my best to translate them. I've put in little notes to clarify a few things. Hopefully they're not that distracting from the plot. Hanyou's Mirror [on AnimeFan] was a disaster because of my ceaseless commenting.

INUYASHA OOCNESS IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!!! Remember, I started verrrrrry young. ^.^;;

TITLE SUBJECT TO CHANGE!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

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"Inuyasha's been really quiet lately." Shippo pointed out. "He's hardly said anything since we found him."

Inuyasha didn't hear the kitsune's comment. He sat with his back to a tree, staring unfocused and unblinking at the ground. He shook, but only so slightly that no one could tell. He wasn't about to tell anyone just what had happened before they found him.

- -

"Inuyasha!!"

"No, Kikyo! DON'T!!!"

- -

He wasn't even sure himself if what happened happened. But the pain he felt… there could be no imagining that. And now the pain that would would go shooting through him just at the memory of it…

- -

"Yes! Inuyasha!"

"Leave me alone!"

- -

A seering pain shot through him from a very sensitive area, causing him to go rigid and tense. He unconsciously began to rock himself back and fourth… back and fourth… back and fourth…

- -

"Inuyasha there is no denying your feelings for me!"

"I hate you!"

- -

Another jolt of pain.

Kagome saw him tense once again.

"Inuyasha, are you okay?" She asked, worry evident in her voice. She got no reply. "Inuyasha are you okay?" She tried again, rising to her feet and walking over to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder. He froze and looked up at her, his eyes wide with fear. "Inuyasha-" She was cut off by him jumping away with a cry, as if he was hurt. He slowly shook his head, his eyes not leaving her face as he began to violently shake.

"N-no… NO!!" He shouted, beginning to cower away from her. All Miroku, Sango, and Shippo could really do was watch, and wait.

"Inuyasha, just tell me what's wrong and I can help!" Kagome yelled.

"NO!! Kikyo, stay AWAY!!!" He shrieked, and ran. Kagome froze in shock. So did everyone else. Didn't Inuyasha know how sensitive Kagome was about that?

A dark aura surrounded Kagome, who was growing furious. Her aura flamed around her, visible.

"Kagome, Inuyasha didn't-" Sango began, trying to calm the girl. She was cut off by Kagome's snarl.

"Kikyo did something to hurt Inuyasha." She growled. "And I'm going to find out what." She turned to face Sango. "May I borrow Kilala?" She asked, the flames licking at her form. Sango nodded, and Kilala transformed.

Before monk, taijiya, or youkai knew it, Kagome and Kilala took off after Inuyasha.

"Sh-shouldn't we help?!" Shippo squealed.

"This is for them to sort out, Shippo. It wouldn't be right for us to… interfere." He reasoned. ["He" as in Miroku.]

* *

Kagome found Inuyasha on his knees in a clearing. He had his hands over his ears and rocked himself. She told Kilala to stay, and approached the hanyou. Coming to his front, she saw he was deathly pale and stared again at the ground.

- -

"Inuyasha you were ment to be with me!"

"Kagome!!"

- -

Inuyasha muttered something to himself over and over again. Listening closely, Kagome found out what it was.

"Kagome… Kagome… Kagome…" He whispered repeatedly. His eyes were shiny and glassy, brimming with unshed tears. At once Kagome felt a need to comfort him, her anger banking for the time being, her aura calming.

She got down to her knees before him and hugged him, his rocking stopping, as well as his muttering. His breathing was shallow. She held him tighter.

"K-Kagome…" He whispered.

"Shh, Inuyasha. I'm right here." She said softly, running a hand through his hair to calm him. "What did Kikyo do to you?"

"K-Kikyo… sh-she…" He struggled. Kagome pulled his hands from his ears and to the ground, and brought him down to a sitting position. She settled down beside him and brought his head to rest on her shoulder. "Sh-she… Kikyo… She… I…" He brought his arms around her waist and buried his face into her neck like a frightened child. "She… raped me…"

Kagome's hold on him tightened, and pulled him closer. Kikyo had hurt her, countless times tried to kill her. But to do this to Inuyasha… HER Inuyasha!

But wait…

Her Inuyasha?

Inuyasha now sobbed helplessly into Kagome's neck, shaking. She ran her hand through his hair, rocked him, hummed a soft tune, anything to calm him down again. He clung to her as if his life depended on it.

- -

Inuyasha was tied by chains to the ground. Kikyo trapped him. She had just been waiting for him to leave that group. He was leaving to bathe when she caught him. She stripped him of his clothing while he was unconscious, and came back, herself completely bare. Her arrows lay not too far off.

He realized what she was planning to do and began to struggle. But the chains were too tight for him to claw at.

She stradled him, he closed his eyes.

"No… it's a nightmare! This isn't happening!!" He shouted.

"Inuyasha." Kikyou smiled evilly. "You are mine."

"No!" He shrieked, trying to get away. She lowered herself onto him, licking his neck. He shouted in a cross of pain and protest. Kikyo moved around on him, having her way.

"Inuyasha!!"

"No, Kikyo! DON'T!!"

"Yes, Inuyasha!!"

"Leave me alone!!"

Kikyo covered his mouth with hers, sliding her tongue into his mouth forcefully. She pulled away, pushing herself on and off him.

"Inuyasha there is no denying your feelings for me!"

"I hate you!"

The phrase caused a split second of paused from Kikyo while Inuyasha still tried to get away, finding words flying out of his mouth.

"Inuyasha you were ment to be with me!" She persisted, resuming her actions.

"Kagome!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

At once Kikyo was off him and struck him, causing him to black out.

The next thing he knew he was back at the waterfall he was at before Kikyo took him. He was fully clothed, and Kagome was shaking him.

- -

Inuyasha cried until he couldn't any more, until he only sobbed and his shoulders shook from the force of it. Kagome sang a song, just trying to help. His sobbing softened as he listened, gradually calming down.

But why did he cry out for Kagome? Was he that dependant on her that he would call her when he was in trouble? The thought half-disgusted him.

Her Inuyasha? Well, he sure wasn't Kikyo's if she had to rape him to get him. If he still loved her, wouldn't he have done it willingly? But still, even if he didn't love Kikyo any more, it probably only ment that, nothing more.

She was scarcely aware Inuyasha was listening to her song she absently sang. It was slow and sweet and at least it calmed him down.

"You light me up and then I fall for you. You lay me down and then I call for you. Stumbling on reasons that are far and few. I'd let it all come down and then some for you." She didn't bother to change any part of it. It was the truth, but Inuyasha didn't need to know that yet. Not after what he'd been through. "Pretty baby don't you leave me. I have been saving smiles for you. Pretty baby why can't you see, you're the one that I belong to. I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm, for you're the sun that breaks the storm. I'll be alright, and I'll sleep sound as long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby." He was her pretty baby! He acted so vulnerable. He was so terrified…! "And I know things can't last forever, but there are lessons that you'll never learn. Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt. So how's it you that makes me better? Pretty baby don't you leave me. I have been saving smiles for you."

Inuyasha took in a deep, shaky breath. His hold softened and his breathing evened as she continued.

"Pretty baby why can't you see, you're the one that I belong to. I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm, for you're the sun that breaks the storm. I'll be alright, and I'll sleep sound, as long as you keep comin'… Why can't you hold me, and never let go? When you touch me, it is me that you own. Pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart… Would you break it apart again…" She felt tears begin to form in her eyes. "Pretty baby don't you leave me. I have been saving smiles for you. Pretty baby why can't you see, you're the one that I belong to. I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm, for you're the sun that breaks the storm. I'll be alright, and I'll sleep sound, asl long as you keep comin' around…"

Kagome leaned her head towards Inuyasha's doing all she could to comfort him.

"Pretty baby, why can't you see… Pretty baby… don't you leave me. Pretty baby… why can't you see… Pretty baby… don't you leave me. Pretty baby… my pretty baby. My pretty baby. My pretty baby… don't you leave me. Pretty baby… My pretty baby……"

She ended the song, Inuyasha now completely calmed down. He no longer shook or cried, but he still clung to her. When he spoke, his voice was dry and cracked from crying. "That… that song…" He brought forth.

"What about it?" She replied.

"Could you… sing it again?" he asked quietly. She smiled and hummed the tune to begin again.

"You light me up and then I fall for you."

`I fall for you." He thought, closing his eyes and nuzzling against Kaogme's neck a little.

"You lay be down and then I call for you.

"Stumbling on reasons that are far and few.

"I'd let it all come down and then some for you."

`Gods, I would, Kagome.'

"Pretty baby, why can't you see,

"You're the one that I belong to.

"I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm,

"For you're the sun that breaks the storm."

`You are to me.'

"I'll be alright, and I"ll sleep sound,

"As long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby."

`What would happen if you didn't…?'

"And I know things can't last forever,"

`I don't want this to end.'

"But there are lessons that you'll never learn.

"Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt."

`You don't know the half of it.'

"So how's it you that makes me better?"

`How can it?'

"Pretty baby don't you leave me

"I have been saving smiles for you."

`You don't know.'

"Pretty baby why can't you see,

"You're the one that I belong to.

"I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm,

"For you're the sun that breaks the storm.

"I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound,

"As long as you keep comin'…"

`I always will.'

"Why can't you hold me and never let go…"

`I want to.'

"When you touch me it is me that you own.

"Pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart…

"Would you break it apart again…"

`I'm sorry, Kagome, I'm so sorry.'

"Pretty baby why can't you see,

"You're the one that I belong to.

"I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm,

"For you're the sun that breaks the storm.

"I'll be alright, and I'll sleep sound,

"As long as you keep comin' around."

`Please keep coming back to me.'

"Pretty baby why can't you see…

"Pretty baby don't you leave me…

"Pretty baby why can't you see...

"Pretty baby don't you leave me…

"Pretty baby, my pretty baby…

"My pretty baby don't you leave me…"

"Pretty baby my pretty baby…

"My pretty baby…"

Inuyasha absently nuzzled her again, trying not to cry. His shoulders shook as he tried to contain his sobs.

"I-Inuyasha, are you okay?" Kagome asked. "Did I do something wrong?" Inuyasha shook his head.

"No… I'm sorry Kagome." He whispered.

"For what?" she blinked, confused.

"I've… I've become dependant on you." He choked out.

"What do you mean?"

"When Kikyo… did that… I cried out for you." He confessed. "I didn't… I don't know… why." He tensed, preparing for a `sitting'. But why, he didn't know.

"Inuyasha…" she voiced, holding him close.

"And I know you probably… probably hate me…" He struggled on, determined to say what he had to say as Kagome tensed at those last three words. "But I… I don't want to have… to have you think that after I… do… what I have to. I don't hate you, Kagome. I really don't. So I… guess there's really nothing more I can give you… Everything I had has been taken away from me. I…"

"Inuyasha… I don't…" she tried to say, only to have her words choked off by the knot in her throat. He thought she hated him?!

Inuyasha shifted, and kissed her. She was so shocked that it barely registered in her head what he did before he pulled away, his eyes slightly red from crying, and liquid in pain and sorrow. "I love you Kagome. I'm sorry and I take back anything I ever said to make you feel bad. So I guess this is… good bye."

He bounded off before she could do anything. When her reactions came back to her, she called Kilala and gave chase after Inuyasha.

* *

When she finally caught up with him, he stood at the edge of a particularly high cliff. He hesitated a moment before looking back at her, and smiled sadly at her. He turned back to the edge and before he could take that first and last step it registered in her head what he was going to try to do. She jumped off of Kilala and ran to Inuyasha with a speed she didn't know she was capable of, and whirled him around so that he faced her. hugged him, leading him subtly away from the edge. she pulled him close and said one word.

"Sit."

At once Inuyasha fell on top of her. She led him tight as if he would disappear. He tried to get up, but to no avail until the spell wore off.

"Kagome what are you-"

"Inuyasha don't you dare." She sobbed, cutting him off midsentence. "Don't you dare think of doing that." He let out a choked sob and buried his face in her neck..

"I don't have anything left, Kagome." He choked. "Kikyo took all I had left." Kagome shook her head.

"No, you still have something else." She protested. "You have me."

[I hate this next part because it's done so badly. Please tell me you're still here. T.T]

Inuyasha froze. Kagome knew exactly what to do.

"I'd let it all come down and then some for you." She recited. "I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound, as long as you keep comin' around." So it was out of order, all she needed was the meaning. "I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm, for you're the sun that breaks the storm. Why can't you hold me and never let go…?" The last of her words were choked off by a violent sob. Inuyasha held his breath.

"I…" He faltered. "I want to…" He flet a new wave of tears wash oer him, and didn't bother to try and hold them back. The spell dissipated, and he sat up, lowering his head enough to hide his eyes. She sat up to, and hugged him again. He hugged her back. "Just the scent of you, it makes me hurt. So how's it you that makes me better?"

Kagome buried her face in his shoulder as the tears she was fighting so hard to hold back began to soak her face and his haori.

"My pretty baby." She muttered. "Don't you leave me."

"I won't." Was his reply.

"I love you." She whispered shakily. He pulled her closer.

"I love you to." He whispered back, and tried to hide her in the sleeves of his haori. All too soon she knew why.

"If I can't have Inuyasha, no one can!" Shrieked an all too familiar voice. Neither of them dared to move.

*~*~*~*

So, what do you think? Should I continue it? Should I? I like the thing I did with the song.

And, seeing as I am not a guy and also (thankfully) have never been raped (or ever will be), I don't know if it hurts after ward [for a guy]. So if I'm wrong, I'm sorry, I don't have that experience nor want it. But I will not change the fic, so please just forgive me.

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*pulls at her hair* Gawd, that song scene is so INFURIATING!!!!!! Sure, I liked it… for all of two days. After that I couldn't change it because it had already become a big part of the story and filled several pages of my notebook.

And I also got two chapters done on this fic before A-sama read it. Realistically more like one and a half, but I like to exaggerate.

The second InuYasha lemon I ever wrote is in the next chapter!! The first was in a fic so weird I just discontinued it. New moon, cave-in, accidents, barriers, holes, fights, lemons, rings, dreams, blah blah blah, it was PWP and it SUCKED ASS!!!!!!

Anyway, the next chapter isn't that bad, albeit a little weird. And I mean WEIRD. O.o Seriously. Weird. It'll take me some time to type up because I have to weasel around my dad in order to get it done. Not that he goes in and reads my stuff, he just reads over my shoulder.

*sigh* -.- I need a freakin' laptop…