InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Better Off Dead ❯ You Big Faker! ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Anubis_Himura 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.23.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 222 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.23.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 222 | Status: Completed
I know its short *tear* sorry I changed the Brooklyn Dodgers to the Boston Red Sox (GO NEW ENGLAND SINCE MAINE IS TOO GHETTO TO HAVE THEIR OWN TEAM!) also I copied the 'monologue' by John Cusack cause I loved it, I only cut out a couple words.^_^ I know I'm a big copy-cat and have no creativity but ya know what SHHHHHHHHHHH!!! But like I said before read Drug Lords and Angels oh yeah that is all mine, well except the characters, and items mentioned blah blah blah.. wait tangent... crap! add that to the list Shannon, no talking of Drug Lords!!! ^_^
5: You big Faker!
Inuyasha came out of his house holding a broken ski and talking to Kagome.
"I must be insane, I am going to race, I am going to loose, and I am going to die. That?" he asked as Kagome spoke animatedly and pointed to his Camaro, which still sat in its auto-cocoon. "It's my car, it doesn't work. Nothing works, my little brother is building a spaceship out of house hold appliances like vacuum cleaners and blenders and stuff, that is probably going to work, I can't get that thing out of the driveway." he pointed to the car again. He put his broken ski into his car, "I'll talk to you later, I got to go," he said getting into the passenger side of his car, scooting over to the drivers side.
§¤§¤§¤
"Schmidty, yo' Schmidty," Inuyasha called as he walked to the desk of a ski supply store.
"Hey, Inuyasha, I've got that ski you called about." A man in a wheel chair and a full body cast wheeled up to the service desk.
"Jesus, what happened? What did you get hit by a truck or something?" Inuyasha asked in shock.
"Oh, no I was trying to ski the K-12, I mean after the Olympics everything looked so damn easy." the man said, giving Inuyasha a not to reassuring thought about Sunday's event.
"Charge it," he smiled weakly and walked out the door.
He sat in his car for a few minutes before starting it, "Well, at least this is as bad as it will get," he told himself reassuringly before beginning to drive off. He heard a loud noise on the roof which distracted him from driving, he looked to the roof and back out his windshield. He noticed Shippo, the paperboy on his windshield.
"I want my two dollars!!!!" the paperboy screamed angrily. Inuyasha turned on the windshield wipers and drove around corners hard, trying to get the kid off his car. He couldn't see anything as the kid waved a paper in his line of vision and dramatically called for two dollars. Inuyasha drove quickly into the car wash.
"No, I can't swim!" the kid's voice trailed off, Inuyasha had escaped him again.
§¤§¤§¤
Later that night Inuyasha went outside to take out the trash. He noticed Kagome was throwing Lemons at a parking sign and he went over to say 'hi'.
"Hey Kagome," he said and she threw another Lemon, this time missing the sign. "How are you Kagome?" he asked, guessing she was in a bad mood by the way she was angrily throwing the lemon's at the sign. "Something wrong?" nothing but the sound of another lemon crashing against the sign. "Nice talking to you," Inuyasha stated, he figured she didn't feel like talking.
"Yes, something is wrong." Kagome stated, Inuyasha turned around and his eyes grew wide, "this, what did you say? Dorkhead? Is an unleashed sex fiend!" she screamed angrily.
"What?" he asked, referring to the fact that she could speak English.
"Hojo, he will not leave me alone. He thinks because I stay here I am his love goddess his prostrate. No, prostitute." she corrected herself.
"Holy shit! You big faker! You speak English!" Inuyasha laughed out loud. "You mean you have understood every word we have said?" he asked still not believing she spoke perfect English.
"Believe me, if you lived with a family like that, the less you spoke the better off you would be. I promise you that." Inuyasha nodded in agreement and stated that he had never thought of it in that way. "I thought if Hojo and I had nothing to say he would get bored," she looked at Inuyasha before continuing, "instead he uses it as a chance to put his testicles all over me." she crossed her arms and stared angrily at the house.
"His what?!" Inuyasha asked.
"His, testicles.. Ah, how do you say, octopus?" she looked at him, unaware of the mistake she was allegedly making.
"Oh, tentacles n, t, tentacles. Big difference," he said and she acknowledged her mistake.
"I came here to see the Boston Red Sox. Now all I see is that face every night in my doorway." she angrily threw another lemon.
"I see you have got a pretty good pitching arm." Inuyasha stated, noticing she only missed the sign once or twice since he came outside.
"Well what is there in the states besides the Boston Red Sox?"
"You might find a friend. You must have friends in Japan. You know, friends," he grabbed Kagome's face gently and moved her cheeks to form words, making fun of the way that everyone talked around her. Kagome laughed at this.
Mrs. Smith came out of the house and called for Kagome. Kagome looked at Inuyasha.
"You promise not to tell anyone?" she asked him.
"What that you are a Red Sox fan?" he smiled
"No, that I speak English." she continued to giggle slightly he shook his head and said,
"Cross my heart and hope to die,"
"Do you?"
"Not at the moment." Mrs. Smith called again.
"You are my friend." Kagome said, and lightly kissed him on the cheek before running up to the house.
"Is that Inuyasha boy bothering you?" Mrs. Smith tried to whisper but Inuyasha heard her anyway.
Inuyasha looked at the lemons and picked one up, he then chucked it at the same sign Kagome had been so fascinated with before. He however, was not a good pitcher. The sound of shattering glass followed by dogs barking signaled to Inuyasha to get back in the house before anyone realized it was him.
5: You big Faker!
Inuyasha came out of his house holding a broken ski and talking to Kagome.
"I must be insane, I am going to race, I am going to loose, and I am going to die. That?" he asked as Kagome spoke animatedly and pointed to his Camaro, which still sat in its auto-cocoon. "It's my car, it doesn't work. Nothing works, my little brother is building a spaceship out of house hold appliances like vacuum cleaners and blenders and stuff, that is probably going to work, I can't get that thing out of the driveway." he pointed to the car again. He put his broken ski into his car, "I'll talk to you later, I got to go," he said getting into the passenger side of his car, scooting over to the drivers side.
§¤§¤§¤
"Schmidty, yo' Schmidty," Inuyasha called as he walked to the desk of a ski supply store.
"Hey, Inuyasha, I've got that ski you called about." A man in a wheel chair and a full body cast wheeled up to the service desk.
"Jesus, what happened? What did you get hit by a truck or something?" Inuyasha asked in shock.
"Oh, no I was trying to ski the K-12, I mean after the Olympics everything looked so damn easy." the man said, giving Inuyasha a not to reassuring thought about Sunday's event.
"Charge it," he smiled weakly and walked out the door.
He sat in his car for a few minutes before starting it, "Well, at least this is as bad as it will get," he told himself reassuringly before beginning to drive off. He heard a loud noise on the roof which distracted him from driving, he looked to the roof and back out his windshield. He noticed Shippo, the paperboy on his windshield.
"I want my two dollars!!!!" the paperboy screamed angrily. Inuyasha turned on the windshield wipers and drove around corners hard, trying to get the kid off his car. He couldn't see anything as the kid waved a paper in his line of vision and dramatically called for two dollars. Inuyasha drove quickly into the car wash.
"No, I can't swim!" the kid's voice trailed off, Inuyasha had escaped him again.
§¤§¤§¤
Later that night Inuyasha went outside to take out the trash. He noticed Kagome was throwing Lemons at a parking sign and he went over to say 'hi'.
"Hey Kagome," he said and she threw another Lemon, this time missing the sign. "How are you Kagome?" he asked, guessing she was in a bad mood by the way she was angrily throwing the lemon's at the sign. "Something wrong?" nothing but the sound of another lemon crashing against the sign. "Nice talking to you," Inuyasha stated, he figured she didn't feel like talking.
"Yes, something is wrong." Kagome stated, Inuyasha turned around and his eyes grew wide, "this, what did you say? Dorkhead? Is an unleashed sex fiend!" she screamed angrily.
"What?" he asked, referring to the fact that she could speak English.
"Hojo, he will not leave me alone. He thinks because I stay here I am his love goddess his prostrate. No, prostitute." she corrected herself.
"Holy shit! You big faker! You speak English!" Inuyasha laughed out loud. "You mean you have understood every word we have said?" he asked still not believing she spoke perfect English.
"Believe me, if you lived with a family like that, the less you spoke the better off you would be. I promise you that." Inuyasha nodded in agreement and stated that he had never thought of it in that way. "I thought if Hojo and I had nothing to say he would get bored," she looked at Inuyasha before continuing, "instead he uses it as a chance to put his testicles all over me." she crossed her arms and stared angrily at the house.
"His what?!" Inuyasha asked.
"His, testicles.. Ah, how do you say, octopus?" she looked at him, unaware of the mistake she was allegedly making.
"Oh, tentacles n, t, tentacles. Big difference," he said and she acknowledged her mistake.
"I came here to see the Boston Red Sox. Now all I see is that face every night in my doorway." she angrily threw another lemon.
"I see you have got a pretty good pitching arm." Inuyasha stated, noticing she only missed the sign once or twice since he came outside.
"Well what is there in the states besides the Boston Red Sox?"
"You might find a friend. You must have friends in Japan. You know, friends," he grabbed Kagome's face gently and moved her cheeks to form words, making fun of the way that everyone talked around her. Kagome laughed at this.
Mrs. Smith came out of the house and called for Kagome. Kagome looked at Inuyasha.
"You promise not to tell anyone?" she asked him.
"What that you are a Red Sox fan?" he smiled
"No, that I speak English." she continued to giggle slightly he shook his head and said,
"Cross my heart and hope to die,"
"Do you?"
"Not at the moment." Mrs. Smith called again.
"You are my friend." Kagome said, and lightly kissed him on the cheek before running up to the house.
"Is that Inuyasha boy bothering you?" Mrs. Smith tried to whisper but Inuyasha heard her anyway.
Inuyasha looked at the lemons and picked one up, he then chucked it at the same sign Kagome had been so fascinated with before. He however, was not a good pitcher. The sound of shattering glass followed by dogs barking signaled to Inuyasha to get back in the house before anyone realized it was him.