InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Blackout ❯ Limbo ( Chapter 22 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: King Baka 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 09.06.2014 | Pages: 12 | Words: 8.5K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 09.06.2014 | Pages: 12 | Words: 8.5K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha or any of
the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I’m just renting
them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this
story and any original characters I’ve created. I will make
no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the
enjoyment of my readers.
Limbo
Inuyasha moved at a full sprint, ghosting over the grassy fields and appearing as nothing more than a crimson blur. He had multiple reasons for his haste. The first was obviously Kikyou’s apparent peril. The second he preferred not to think about, not that ignoring it helped to assuage his guilt. He was alone, but that sour emotion followed him as a constant companion, and not unjustifiably so. But this would be a quick detour, would it not? The wandering monk had apparently covered about a half-day’s journey at human walking speed before reaching them with news of Kikyou. Inuyasha could cover that ground in thirty minutes or less. He was already more than halfway there, he’d guess. There were things, however, which would serve to extend his absence. For example, if Kikyou was wounded and needed someone to watch over her. Or if she was dying and needed a friend to hold her hand as she passed on. Or…if she was already dead, and needed someone to see to her remains.
If any of those scenarios proved true, then Kagome would just have to deal with it. The backlash of that thought manifested itself as physical pain inside his cranium, as if the remorseful part of his brain was kicking him in the head. You left yesterday to look for Kikyou without a thought for Kagome, and she stayed up all night waiting for you. Ungrateful bastard. Maybe that was too harsh. He was immensely grateful for the way Kagome cared so intensely for him. Well, you have a funny way of showing it.
At any rate, he couldn’t deny that he was indeed a colossal bastard. He had wanted to offer to carry Kagome this morning, to let her nap on his back as she’d done after that fateful evening which had changed both of their lives forever. But it wouldn’t be fair to her, to hold her so close while his mind was with Kikyou. At the time, the dead miko had literally been all he could think about. He couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to Kagome. If he was going to touch her in any manner, she deserved for him to be thinking about her, and only her. Quite simply, he hadn’t felt worthy of the privilege.
In part due to these semi-honorable intentions, Kagome had not gotten a wink of sleep in approximately thirty-six hours. During that time, she had battled Renkotsu, run through Mount Hakurei in a mad search for him, and helped him slay Jakotsu. Not to mention walking all day and burying the inhabitants of a devastated village. Yes, the woman carrying his child had done all that and not slept, predominantly due to his lack of consideration. And if he didn’t come back tonight, he could run up her insomnia meter to forty-eight hours or more. Because he knew she would not allow herself to sleep until he returned.
Was he really going to abandon the woman carrying his child for a second straight evening? To search for his first love, a woman he wasn’t even sure he had ever shared true love with? When he put it that way, it seemed a ridiculous notion. It wasn’t as though there was no danger associated with leaving Kagome alone, either. Unlike the last time Naraku fled from them, he had not been wounded to the point of needing to go into hiding. To the contrary, he was more powerful than ever. Knowing the dark hanyou, he was probably spinning his next web of deceit to trick or trap his enemies. And he, Inuyasha, who liked to think that he wasn’t a complete idiot, had left Kagome alone. Well, not alone, per se. Their friends were strong, but they didn’t stand a chance of defeating Naraku on their own as he was now. So for all intents and purposes, Kagome really was pretty defenseless right now if the dark hanyou decided to show up.
This thought had Inuyasha slowing his pace and eventually drawing to a halt, though he did not turn around. He clenched his fists, now torn more than ever before between the needs of the two women in his life. Why had it taken him so long to consider how dangerous it was to separate from Kagome? Perhaps the grief over Kikyou’s apparent demise had been too fresh yesterday, though that still seemed a fairly lame excuse. Yes, Kikyou might need him right now. But Kagome needed him as well. For if there was a potential that his absence might cause her physical harm, there was no doubt that it was hurting her emotionally.
This he had already considered–it was the primary reason for his guilt, after all–but he had pushed it aside as secondary to Kikyou’s very real physical plight. Wounded feelings weren’t as bad as a wounded body, after all. Or so he’d used to think. Now, after knowing Kagome for as long as he had, he wasn’t so sure. She had never suffered a truly severe injury during their entire quest, but on at least two occasions now, he had done nearly enough emotional damage to send her through the well, never to return. The first had been when she’d seen him and Kikyou embracing near Goshinboku. The second had been in the aftermath of their first encounter with the dead miko after the conception of their child. Each time, he had nearly lost Kagome for good, even though her body was completely healthy.
After spending much of his life in a state of emotional constipation, Inuyasha liked to think that traveling with his friends had granted him a little wisdom on the subject. Emotions were powerful; they could make you fly, or they could send you spiraling into dark depths of despair. So…what was he doing to Kagome by leaving her to look for Kikyou? At the very least, he was reinforcing her belief that she was second to the dead miko in his eyes. Yes, he had promised to stay with her until their child was grown, but what message did it send if he always put Kikyou’s needs above her own? ‘I’ll stay with you, Kagome, but only when Kikyou doesn’t need me.’ If that was the case, then he might as well send Kagome back to her time and seal the well behind her. If that was the way he was going to treat the mother of his child, then he didn’t deserve to stand in her presence for another second.
Inuyasha sighed, tilting his head back to gaze up at the beautiful blue sky, nature not caring about his inner turmoil in the slightest. He had never been forced to choose between Kikyou and Kagome before, mostly due to the latter’s generous spirit. But it was time. If he went back to Kagome, he would be abandoning Kikyou, breaking his promises of loyalty and protection as he’d already broken his promise to join her in hell when she desired. But if he went to Kikyou now, how could he ever face Kagome again? How could she believe that his promises to her were anything more than empty words? How could he be the father of her child, if he couldn’t even commit to her?
He knew what the right decision was, but making it was not easy. Kikyou was a special person to him. From his perspective, the old Kikyou had not perished fifty years ago. It seemed that less than a year ago, he’d been by her side, talking hopefully about their future together. Still not quite believing that he’d finally found someone to soothe his loneliness, a woman to join with as husband and wife. He’d been ready to give up anything to make it so. But things had changed. He was no longer willing to sacrifice everything for Kikyou. He would not give up being a father for anything in the world. He would not give up the years he had promised Kagome, not for all the riches under the sun, immortality, or the eternal blessing of all the kami. There was nothing more precious to him than the dream of holding his child in his arms, with its mother by his side.
Still he hesitated, unable to stomach the thought of abandoning Kikyou. But perhaps there was another way, one which seemed obvious but which he had never tried before. If he asked, even begged Kagome and the others to accompany him to look for Kikyou…would they agree? That would at least eliminate the physical danger he placed Kagome in by leaving. And if he explained himself properly, perhaps he could limit the emotional damage as well. Ultimately, Inuyasha saw no other option. He couldn’t abandon Kagome, but he also could not forsake Kikyou. If Kagome and the others refused his request, then he would have a real decision to make. But he would cross that bridge when he came to it. Procrastination sounded like a wonderful solution, so long as they let him get away with it.
The next few minutes passed quickly for Inuyasha, as he sprinted back to Kagome. His steps felt lighter, his heart freer. Despite his need to go to Kikyou, and his concerns that Kagome would refuse, he was glad to be returning to where he belonged. His peace lasted until he spied a speck on the horizon, which quickly materialized into a familiar shape. Kirara? What’s she doing here? Dread settled in the pit of his stomach, as he skidded to a halt at the same time the fire-cat landed before him. She allowed Shippou to hop down before reverting to her kitten form, panting with pained exhaustion.
“Shippou, what–”
“Inuyasha! Kagome and the others were abducted and taken to a castle!”
“What? Shit!” Inuyasha cursed, wasting no time in snatching up Shippou and Kirara and stuffing them into the front of his haori. Kirara obviously wasn’t fully healed, and might not even be able to bear his weight right now. Even if she could, he could probably outpace her on foot due to her condition. The fox kit would likely complain about the bumpy ride, but it beat getting left behind.
The next ten minutes of Inuyasha’s life were among the longest, most excruciating minutes he’d ever experienced. He pushed himself to the limits, his heart in his throat the whole time. He made it back to the dead village, then tracked Kagome’s scent from there. He had only gone about a kilometer down the road before he spotted them, a small group of soldiers escorting three familiar humans. As relieved as he was, he was also downright pissed. This motley group of soldiers had abducted them? What the hell?! Why hadn’t Sango and Miroku just knocked them around a bit? Probably because they figured they could escape at any time, he realized. But there was danger in that attitude too, since the unexpected could always happen. Ideally, the soldiers could be persuaded to leave them alone without resorting to physical violence. But since Miroku didn’t like to use his kazaana unless absolutely necessary, they hadn’t had a way to bluff their way out of trouble. Heh, we’ll see about that.
Kagome, perhaps sensing his aura, turned around just as he completed his silent approach. The look on her face was a mixture of shock and relief, but also plenty of hurt. He would work on that later, but first he had to get her out of there. Leaping over the heads of the soldiers at the rear of the group, he landed gracefully next to Kagome, scooped her up bridal style, and launched both of them off to the side. After setting her down quickly but gently a half dozen meters away, he leapt back in to retrieve Miroku and Sango. Before the confused and startled soldiers could react effectively, he had all three of their prisoners safely away. He sliced the ropes binding them, then told them to retreat even further off the road. The soldiers had gone into attack formation, weapons raised, though they waited for their leader’s command.
“Don’t hurt them, Inuyasha,” Kagome called over her shoulder as she moved away. Inuyasha shook his head and grinned. Typical Kagome. He really didn’t have any intention of harming these pitiful humans, though. If necessary, he would rough the leader up a bit, and the rest of them would flee easily enough.
“Who dares to defy the Okugata-sama?!” the leader demanded, all bluster and righteous indignation. “A youkai?” he observed incredulously. “You will come with us peacefully, foul creature, or we shall give you the end that you deserve.”
Inuyasha smirked, but managed to refrain from laughing, knowing that would only make things worse. Still, this was pretty amusing. He had dealt with the likes of this idiot before. The leader could be so brave because he didn’t have to go fight the youkai himself; he could order his men to do it for him. The soldiers under his command certainly didn’t look too excited to be facing a youkai. Good. This’ll be easier than I thought.
“I’ll pass,” he remarked casually, drawing Tetsusaiga but leaving it in its rustic state for the moment.
“Ha!” the leader barked haughtily. “You mean to challenge us with that dull s–wah!”
The reason for the abrupt end of his sentence was Tetsusaiga’s transformation, which had the awing effect Inuyasha was looking for. The soldiers took a couple involuntary steps back, drawing their leader’s ire.
“Hold your ground, cowards, or I’ll have you all whipped!” he snarled, though Inuyasha could detect a fair amount of fear in his voice. “Stand firm and do your duty!”
“Duty, eh?” Inuyasha repeated, holding his pose for a few moments to meet each of their gazes in turn. Then he suddenly spun to the side and smashed Tetsusaiga into the ground, summoning the Kaze no Kizu. Now there was a nice bluff; a large swath of earth was rapidly and spectacularly decimated by Tetsusaiga’s youki. He would never use the Kaze no Kizu against humans, of course, and in fact he wasn’t sure his sword would allow it in the first place. But they didn’t need to know that. And as he turned back to face them, casually leaning his blade against his shoulder, he could see that each man was pondering what would happen if that incredibly powerful attack was directed at him. The leader’s chin quivered, his lips moving soundlessly.
“Unless your duty is to die, I suggest you get the fuck out of here,” Inuyasha stated, adding a little menace to his tone as he glared directly at the leader. “And if you’re going to order your men to die, then you’d better be prepared yourself.” Inuyasha could see when his message sank in. That’s right, you stuck-up bastard. I’m coming for you first. Finally, the leader found his voice.
“W-well…p-perhaps I will let you and your companions go with a warning. Leave these lands, and do not return.”
Without waiting for a response, he spun his horse around and trotted off with as much dignity as he could manage. His relieved soldiers hurried to catch up, laying their former prisoners’ weapons and Kagome’s bag on the grass. Some even muttered apologies for the ‘misunderstanding’ as they passed. Inuyasha watched them go, then sheathed Tetsusaiga. He heard his friends approaching, and swallowed in sudden nervousness. Scaring the soldiers away had been easy. Now came the hard part.
Miroku cleared his throat. “Well, Inuyasha, I must confess that I am surprised to see again you so soon. I did not think that Shippou and Kirara would be able to catch up to you so quickly to warn of you our predicament.”
“We didn’t,” Shippou stated in amazement, as if just now realizing the significance of the direction the hanyou had been traveling in when they met. “He was already on his way back.”
A chorus of gasps rang out behind Inuyasha, but one in particular caught his attention. His nerves intensified, his heart racing now as sweat pooled on his brow. His mouth was suddenly dry, but he licked his lips and found the courage to speak.
“I…never should have left.”
The shift in her scent had him spinning around to face her. She gazed at him, a mixture of hope and apprehension shining in her eyes. It was clear that she didn’t want to misunderstand him, to get her hopes up only to have them dashed when she discovered that he didn’t really mean what she thought. He was pretty sure he knew what she truly wanted to hear, but he couldn’t give her that. Just as he couldn’t promise to stay by her side until death did them part. He could, however, speak from the heart and open up to her in a way he never had before. He prayed that would be enough.
“I don’t want to leave you guys,” he said, addressing everyone but looking only at Kagome. “But I can’t abandon Kikyou. I need to know for sure whether she’s alive or not. Otherwise, I won’t be able to move forward. Please…come with me. Help me look for her.”
Kagome gazed at him, not sure how to feel. On the one hand, he had come back. He had returned of his own volition, and surely not solely because he feared that he had left her in danger. She could see it in his face; he was concerned for her emotional well-being as well. He never wanted to hurt her, in any way, but that had not stopped him from going to see Kikyou in the past. Whether because of her pregnancy or the closeness they had shared, it was apparently enough to stop him now.
All of that was fine, but Kagome wasn’t jumping for joy. Inuyasha still didn’t want to choose between her and Kikyou. He was practically begging her not to make him choose, to let him keep her by his side while giving her preincarnation priority. What would he do if she refused to go with him? Would he go anyway? Perhaps he didn’t even know. Kagome felt all eyes on her, their other friends prepared to defer to her judgment. So what did she do? Was this the day she finally put her foot down with Inuyasha? Was this the day she made him choose between herself and Kikyou?
His words came back to her. I need to know for sure whether she’s alive or not. Otherwise, I won’t be able to move forward. She had to struggle not to read too much into those words. The most optimistic side of her translated that as a statement that he would be free to love her as a woman and become her husband if Kikyou was really gone. And that it would be what he truly desired. But she knew that was foolishness on her part. Inuyasha was no more ready to become her husband than he was to forget about Kikyou. Maybe those things she dreamed of really would happen someday if Kikyou was no longer in the picture, but only if she was really gone. Was it not natural for Inuyasha to want to know for sure, to feel driven to follow leads and rumors of her whereabouts?
Ultimately, Kagome decided that she wasn’t ready to give him an ultimatum. She wasn’t ready for the look of hurt and betrayal in his eyes, to see how crushed he would be when she ceased to act as the understanding and forgiving girl who had become his best friend. And she wasn’t prepared to have her heart broken when he chose Kikyou anyway. Even if he was still putting Kikyou ahead of her, even if this was just a slightly different version of the status quo, she couldn’t do that to him. She loved him too much for that. They had grown closer because she had never forced him to choose, and now did not strike her as the time to start. Besides, she too wanted to know for sure whether Kikyou had passed on or not, whether Inuyasha was free to ‘move forward.’
His relief at her small nod was a palpable thing, and Kagome immediately knew that she had made the right decision. Her relationship with Inuyasha had never been characterized by dramatic twists and turns, though there had certainly been a few of those along the way. It was a slowly-evolving phenomenon which had taken plenty of trials and much heartache to reach this point. By putting her own desires aside, she gave the gradual evolution a chance to continue. Agreeing to this didn’t make her happy–in fact it was pretty depressing–but it was yet another step in the right direction. At least he had asked her to come with him to a potential encounter with Kikyou, rather than leaving her behind. Given the choice, she would much prefer to be by his side, even if she had to witness another tender moment between the two of them. In that case, she could trust Inuyasha to be considerate of her feelings…hopefully.
Inuyasha was indeed pleased at Kagome’s acceptance of his proposal. For a few heartbeats he had honestly thought she would refuse. But he too understood that while Kagome had acquiesced to his request, she was not happy about it. He vowed to do his best to make this as painless for her as possible, especially if they did happen to find Kikyou. But there was one little problem with this arrangement, he realized as soon as he started to consider the mechanics of actually traveling to Kikyou’s supposed location. Namely, Kirara wasn’t fully healed. She certainly wasn’t up to carrying Miroku and Sango, and Shippou couldn’t be trusted to bear such a burden in his balloon form over long distances. Inuyasha didn’t think they would be especially keen on crowding onto his back again either. No, that had only flown because they’d been unconscious at the time. So that meant either leaving them behind or delaying his search for Kikyou, neither of which he wanted to do. The wandering monk had said that the miko was wounded. Kirara would probably feel better by morning, but who knew if Kikyou would last that long? But on the other hand, how could he tell Miroku and Sango that their lives weren’t important enough for him to protect? Inuyasha was suddenly and utterly stumped as to what to do.
Unbeknownst to him, said pair of humans shared an exasperated but amused look at their friend’s consternation. Inuyasha meant well, but he was such a dolt sometimes. They weren’t happy with his continued ‘two-timing,’ but asking Kagome to go with him was a definite improvement over what usually happened. He was showing his growing concern for her feelings, in his own asinine way. And they would respect Kagome’s wishes on the matter. So they would let him off the proverbial hook. Besides, some time alone might do the hanyou and miko some good, especially if the rumor of Kikyou turned out to be false. Inuyasha had been fairly closed off since Kikyou’s apparent demise at Mount Hakurei, but perhaps Kagome could break down some of his walls if given the opportunity.
“Go ahead, you two,” Miroku told them with a smile devoid of lechery. “Don’t worry about us.”
“You sure?” Inuyasha demanded excitedly, like a child might after hearing the words he desperately wants to hear.
“We can take care of ourselves, Inuyasha,” Sango told him firmly, slightly annoyed that he thought they needed his protection. “We’ve been doing it our whole lives.”
“Indeed. And besides,” Miroku added with an amorous grin, looping his arm around Sango’s shoulders. “Sango and I will enjoy a very pleasant evening by ourselves.”
Despite her melancholy, Kagome had to giggle at the look of absolute panic on her friend’s face. Oh, Sango-chan, did you just now realize that sending me off with Inuyasha leaves you alone with Miroku-sama? Apparently so, and the taijiya was not pleased with the revelation. She flushed a dark shade of pink and broke free of Miroku’s embrace, her eyes darting to and fro as she tried to come up with a way out of this. Salvation came in the form of throat being cleared, and all eyes turned to the pouting kitsune sitting with his arms folded next to Kirara. Neither looked especially pleased that both pairs of adults had made plans to be alone, forgetting all about their diminutive companions.
“Shippou and Kirara can stay with us!” Sango declared hastily, as if afraid that someone else would call ‘dibs’ first. Miroku had the grace to look crestfallen, but in truth he couldn’t have been surprised. Kagome did wonder just who Sango felt so strongly that she couldn’t trust…the lecherous monk, or herself?
With the arrangements finalized, the Inu-gang settled a few minor details before splitting up. Miroku and Sango agreed to make camp away from the road so as to avoid detection by any other soldiers which might come marching past. They also promised to meet Inuyasha and Kagome at the village where Kikyou was supposedly holed up. Sango was confident that Kirara would feel better by morning, and if not, they would walk. Inuyasha didn’t protest this potential delay in their quest for the sole reason that it would allow Kagome to sleep in if she needed to, which was exactly why Sango had proposed it in the first place. Finally, the miko left her bag with the taijiya, not wishing to have it with her while riding Inuyasha at top speed–that would be no fun for her back and shoulders. It was not as though she would need her supplies for the night, after all. If they did find Kikyou, she doubted she’d be able to sleep in the other miko’s presence. And if not, they’d probably return to the others.
Those items resolved, the only remaining question was the mode of Kagome’s transportation. There was only one option, obviously, but Inuyasha still looked fairly nervous as he knelt down in front of her. But if Kagome wasn’t going to refuse to actually go with him to look for Kikyou, she certainly couldn’t take issue with riding on his back. The pleading look in his eyes also helped to convince her, and as she settled against him, his hands returning to their customary position holding her lower thighs, she realized that this wasn’t going to be as awkward as she feared. He told her to let him know if the ride was too bumpy, and they were off. It was a little bumpy, since he was running as fast as he could, but Kagome could handle it so she didn’t complain. It was honestly nice to be here with him, nestled against his back with the wind whipping through her hair. She only hoped that the more pleasant aspects of spending time with Inuyasha didn’t go straight to hell once they arrived at their destination.
Kagome’s nervousness increased the closer they came to the village in question, but in reality there was nothing to worry about. There was no sign of Kikyou, and none of the villagers had seen a miko. Some of them recalled speaking to the wandering monk, but none reported hearing of a miko from his lips or otherwise. What’s going on? Kagome wondered as she watched Inuyasha sadly. He stood on the bank of the river, gazing across the gently flowing waters with an unreadable expression. Her shoulders slumped, her already dismal spirits sinking even further. Somehow, they had wound up exactly where they were this morning, with no confirmation that Kikyou was either dead or alive. Inuyasha, and their relationship, was still stuck in limbo.
The hanyou noticed her attention and shook himself. He sauntered over to her with some forced spring in his step, clearly trying to seem upbeat for her sake. Kagome wasn’t buying it, but she did appreciate the effort.
“You wanna head back?” he asked, to which the miko nodded. They might as well rejoin the others; there was no reason to stay here. The sun was setting, but the waning light was certainly no issue for Inuyasha. Kagome knelt down and drank a few cupped handfuls of water from the river. Thirst quenched, she stood and turned to her companion, expecting to find him kneeling before her. Instead he stood facing away from her, back straight and ears perked at attention. She raised her eyes to follow his gaze and gasped. Against the horizon loomed an undulating mass, growing ever larger. Stretching out her spiritual senses confirmed that the mysterious entity was a swarm of youkai, possibly the same one which had devastated the village they’d come across earlier that day.
“Shit!” Inuyasha cursed, now kneeling down expectantly. He launched them into a full sprint as soon as Kagome was settled, reaching the nearby village in a matter of seconds. Most of the women were inside cooking the evening meal, but some of the men and children were outdoors. One by one they noticed the approaching cloud, though most seemed more concerned about the outsiders in their midst suddenly appearing ready for battle. That would soon change, Inuyasha knew. As soon as their weak human eyes saw the youkai swarm for what it was, a general panic would ensue. Not that it would do them any good.
“Stay here, Kagome,” he told her, setting her down and leaping up to the roof of a building directly in the swarm’s path. There he waited, fingering Tetsusaiga’s hilt with a grave expression. That is, until he heard Kagome’s squeak of fright. Looking over in her direction, he barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. She had attempted to climb up to the roof using a conveniently place cart as a stepping stool, but had only managed to lever one arm over the ledge and now hung helplessly, grunting and flailing her feet.
“What the hell are you doing, wench?” he demanded as he pulled her up, more exasperated than angry. She didn’t respond, instead walking across the rooftop to face the youkai, unshouldering her bow and removing an arrow from her quiver.
“Seriously, Kagome, I can handle this.”
“My place is by your side, Inuyasha.”
His retort died on his lips. How could he argue with that? And why would he want to? Kagome wanted to be with him, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate her presence. They had faced down the vaunted Shichinintai together; no amount of small fry youkai would be enough to overcome them. He sidled up next to her, sparing a sideways glance to see her smiling grimly as she sized up their enemy. He felt his lips curl upward to match her expression, the thrill of impending battle running through him. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as an ominous wind picked up, tossing her hair behind her, and dark shadows slowly crept across her face. Still, her smile never wavered. And as the youkai swarm grew large enough to blot out the setting sun, and cries of alarm went up behind them, they drew their weapons.
The resulting clash was as spectacular as it was satisfying, for both of them. Tetsusaiga’s youki and Kagome’s spiritual energy flowed together as before, actually seeming to enhance one another as they tore through the marauding youkai, leaving not a single one alive. There was a moment of silence when the carnage was over. They turned to each other, still grinning. Inuyasha held up his hand, not as a lover or even a brother would, but as one warrior to another. Kagome took it in the same way, her eyes shining with happiness. For whatever problems they might have, whatever lingering issues held them back, when they were together like this it felt like destiny.
The rising sound of cheering broke their mutual captivation, and they pulled apart. Inuyasha was somewhat surprised to find the entire village applauding them from below, but he supposed it was a natural reaction to what they’d just witnessed. Him and Kagome standing there with a gorgeous twilight in the background and pieces of youkai raining down behind them…yeah, they must look pretty badass. The cheering turned into expressions of gratitude when they came down from the roof. The ‘Miko-sama’ got most of the credit, but Inuyasha was used to that so he didn’t let it get to him. Kagome was so overwhelmed that she didn’t seem to notice. Finally, the village headman quieted the crowd, formally thanked the saviors, and begged them to name a reward for their great service.
“You still wanna go back?” Inuyasha asked quietly, so only Kagome would hear.
“We can’t,” Kagome replied in a whisper. “They’re scared to death, and all those carcasses might attract more youkai. Maybe Miroku-sama can put up some sutras in the morning so they’re not completely defenseless.”
Inuyasha nodded, accepting her decision. Truth be told, he had no objection to staying the night. Maybe Kagome would sleep better indoors. This was a poor village and didn’t seem to have an inn, but surely they didn’t have to feel guilty about accepting a meal and a place to sleep for the night. Speaking of guilt, he still hadn’t forgotten what his foolishness had put Kagome through earlier. Perhaps there was a way to make it up to her…
The villagers were only too happy to oblige; a meal and a couple beds seemed a small price to pay for their lives. Struck by sudden inspiration, however, Inuyasha drew the headman aside and spoke to him quietly.
“Anybody in this town own a bathtub?”
Limbo
Inuyasha moved at a full sprint, ghosting over the grassy fields and appearing as nothing more than a crimson blur. He had multiple reasons for his haste. The first was obviously Kikyou’s apparent peril. The second he preferred not to think about, not that ignoring it helped to assuage his guilt. He was alone, but that sour emotion followed him as a constant companion, and not unjustifiably so. But this would be a quick detour, would it not? The wandering monk had apparently covered about a half-day’s journey at human walking speed before reaching them with news of Kikyou. Inuyasha could cover that ground in thirty minutes or less. He was already more than halfway there, he’d guess. There were things, however, which would serve to extend his absence. For example, if Kikyou was wounded and needed someone to watch over her. Or if she was dying and needed a friend to hold her hand as she passed on. Or…if she was already dead, and needed someone to see to her remains.
If any of those scenarios proved true, then Kagome would just have to deal with it. The backlash of that thought manifested itself as physical pain inside his cranium, as if the remorseful part of his brain was kicking him in the head. You left yesterday to look for Kikyou without a thought for Kagome, and she stayed up all night waiting for you. Ungrateful bastard. Maybe that was too harsh. He was immensely grateful for the way Kagome cared so intensely for him. Well, you have a funny way of showing it.
At any rate, he couldn’t deny that he was indeed a colossal bastard. He had wanted to offer to carry Kagome this morning, to let her nap on his back as she’d done after that fateful evening which had changed both of their lives forever. But it wouldn’t be fair to her, to hold her so close while his mind was with Kikyou. At the time, the dead miko had literally been all he could think about. He couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to Kagome. If he was going to touch her in any manner, she deserved for him to be thinking about her, and only her. Quite simply, he hadn’t felt worthy of the privilege.
In part due to these semi-honorable intentions, Kagome had not gotten a wink of sleep in approximately thirty-six hours. During that time, she had battled Renkotsu, run through Mount Hakurei in a mad search for him, and helped him slay Jakotsu. Not to mention walking all day and burying the inhabitants of a devastated village. Yes, the woman carrying his child had done all that and not slept, predominantly due to his lack of consideration. And if he didn’t come back tonight, he could run up her insomnia meter to forty-eight hours or more. Because he knew she would not allow herself to sleep until he returned.
Was he really going to abandon the woman carrying his child for a second straight evening? To search for his first love, a woman he wasn’t even sure he had ever shared true love with? When he put it that way, it seemed a ridiculous notion. It wasn’t as though there was no danger associated with leaving Kagome alone, either. Unlike the last time Naraku fled from them, he had not been wounded to the point of needing to go into hiding. To the contrary, he was more powerful than ever. Knowing the dark hanyou, he was probably spinning his next web of deceit to trick or trap his enemies. And he, Inuyasha, who liked to think that he wasn’t a complete idiot, had left Kagome alone. Well, not alone, per se. Their friends were strong, but they didn’t stand a chance of defeating Naraku on their own as he was now. So for all intents and purposes, Kagome really was pretty defenseless right now if the dark hanyou decided to show up.
This thought had Inuyasha slowing his pace and eventually drawing to a halt, though he did not turn around. He clenched his fists, now torn more than ever before between the needs of the two women in his life. Why had it taken him so long to consider how dangerous it was to separate from Kagome? Perhaps the grief over Kikyou’s apparent demise had been too fresh yesterday, though that still seemed a fairly lame excuse. Yes, Kikyou might need him right now. But Kagome needed him as well. For if there was a potential that his absence might cause her physical harm, there was no doubt that it was hurting her emotionally.
This he had already considered–it was the primary reason for his guilt, after all–but he had pushed it aside as secondary to Kikyou’s very real physical plight. Wounded feelings weren’t as bad as a wounded body, after all. Or so he’d used to think. Now, after knowing Kagome for as long as he had, he wasn’t so sure. She had never suffered a truly severe injury during their entire quest, but on at least two occasions now, he had done nearly enough emotional damage to send her through the well, never to return. The first had been when she’d seen him and Kikyou embracing near Goshinboku. The second had been in the aftermath of their first encounter with the dead miko after the conception of their child. Each time, he had nearly lost Kagome for good, even though her body was completely healthy.
After spending much of his life in a state of emotional constipation, Inuyasha liked to think that traveling with his friends had granted him a little wisdom on the subject. Emotions were powerful; they could make you fly, or they could send you spiraling into dark depths of despair. So…what was he doing to Kagome by leaving her to look for Kikyou? At the very least, he was reinforcing her belief that she was second to the dead miko in his eyes. Yes, he had promised to stay with her until their child was grown, but what message did it send if he always put Kikyou’s needs above her own? ‘I’ll stay with you, Kagome, but only when Kikyou doesn’t need me.’ If that was the case, then he might as well send Kagome back to her time and seal the well behind her. If that was the way he was going to treat the mother of his child, then he didn’t deserve to stand in her presence for another second.
Inuyasha sighed, tilting his head back to gaze up at the beautiful blue sky, nature not caring about his inner turmoil in the slightest. He had never been forced to choose between Kikyou and Kagome before, mostly due to the latter’s generous spirit. But it was time. If he went back to Kagome, he would be abandoning Kikyou, breaking his promises of loyalty and protection as he’d already broken his promise to join her in hell when she desired. But if he went to Kikyou now, how could he ever face Kagome again? How could she believe that his promises to her were anything more than empty words? How could he be the father of her child, if he couldn’t even commit to her?
He knew what the right decision was, but making it was not easy. Kikyou was a special person to him. From his perspective, the old Kikyou had not perished fifty years ago. It seemed that less than a year ago, he’d been by her side, talking hopefully about their future together. Still not quite believing that he’d finally found someone to soothe his loneliness, a woman to join with as husband and wife. He’d been ready to give up anything to make it so. But things had changed. He was no longer willing to sacrifice everything for Kikyou. He would not give up being a father for anything in the world. He would not give up the years he had promised Kagome, not for all the riches under the sun, immortality, or the eternal blessing of all the kami. There was nothing more precious to him than the dream of holding his child in his arms, with its mother by his side.
Still he hesitated, unable to stomach the thought of abandoning Kikyou. But perhaps there was another way, one which seemed obvious but which he had never tried before. If he asked, even begged Kagome and the others to accompany him to look for Kikyou…would they agree? That would at least eliminate the physical danger he placed Kagome in by leaving. And if he explained himself properly, perhaps he could limit the emotional damage as well. Ultimately, Inuyasha saw no other option. He couldn’t abandon Kagome, but he also could not forsake Kikyou. If Kagome and the others refused his request, then he would have a real decision to make. But he would cross that bridge when he came to it. Procrastination sounded like a wonderful solution, so long as they let him get away with it.
The next few minutes passed quickly for Inuyasha, as he sprinted back to Kagome. His steps felt lighter, his heart freer. Despite his need to go to Kikyou, and his concerns that Kagome would refuse, he was glad to be returning to where he belonged. His peace lasted until he spied a speck on the horizon, which quickly materialized into a familiar shape. Kirara? What’s she doing here? Dread settled in the pit of his stomach, as he skidded to a halt at the same time the fire-cat landed before him. She allowed Shippou to hop down before reverting to her kitten form, panting with pained exhaustion.
“Shippou, what–”
“Inuyasha! Kagome and the others were abducted and taken to a castle!”
“What? Shit!” Inuyasha cursed, wasting no time in snatching up Shippou and Kirara and stuffing them into the front of his haori. Kirara obviously wasn’t fully healed, and might not even be able to bear his weight right now. Even if she could, he could probably outpace her on foot due to her condition. The fox kit would likely complain about the bumpy ride, but it beat getting left behind.
The next ten minutes of Inuyasha’s life were among the longest, most excruciating minutes he’d ever experienced. He pushed himself to the limits, his heart in his throat the whole time. He made it back to the dead village, then tracked Kagome’s scent from there. He had only gone about a kilometer down the road before he spotted them, a small group of soldiers escorting three familiar humans. As relieved as he was, he was also downright pissed. This motley group of soldiers had abducted them? What the hell?! Why hadn’t Sango and Miroku just knocked them around a bit? Probably because they figured they could escape at any time, he realized. But there was danger in that attitude too, since the unexpected could always happen. Ideally, the soldiers could be persuaded to leave them alone without resorting to physical violence. But since Miroku didn’t like to use his kazaana unless absolutely necessary, they hadn’t had a way to bluff their way out of trouble. Heh, we’ll see about that.
Kagome, perhaps sensing his aura, turned around just as he completed his silent approach. The look on her face was a mixture of shock and relief, but also plenty of hurt. He would work on that later, but first he had to get her out of there. Leaping over the heads of the soldiers at the rear of the group, he landed gracefully next to Kagome, scooped her up bridal style, and launched both of them off to the side. After setting her down quickly but gently a half dozen meters away, he leapt back in to retrieve Miroku and Sango. Before the confused and startled soldiers could react effectively, he had all three of their prisoners safely away. He sliced the ropes binding them, then told them to retreat even further off the road. The soldiers had gone into attack formation, weapons raised, though they waited for their leader’s command.
“Don’t hurt them, Inuyasha,” Kagome called over her shoulder as she moved away. Inuyasha shook his head and grinned. Typical Kagome. He really didn’t have any intention of harming these pitiful humans, though. If necessary, he would rough the leader up a bit, and the rest of them would flee easily enough.
“Who dares to defy the Okugata-sama?!” the leader demanded, all bluster and righteous indignation. “A youkai?” he observed incredulously. “You will come with us peacefully, foul creature, or we shall give you the end that you deserve.”
Inuyasha smirked, but managed to refrain from laughing, knowing that would only make things worse. Still, this was pretty amusing. He had dealt with the likes of this idiot before. The leader could be so brave because he didn’t have to go fight the youkai himself; he could order his men to do it for him. The soldiers under his command certainly didn’t look too excited to be facing a youkai. Good. This’ll be easier than I thought.
“I’ll pass,” he remarked casually, drawing Tetsusaiga but leaving it in its rustic state for the moment.
“Ha!” the leader barked haughtily. “You mean to challenge us with that dull s–wah!”
The reason for the abrupt end of his sentence was Tetsusaiga’s transformation, which had the awing effect Inuyasha was looking for. The soldiers took a couple involuntary steps back, drawing their leader’s ire.
“Hold your ground, cowards, or I’ll have you all whipped!” he snarled, though Inuyasha could detect a fair amount of fear in his voice. “Stand firm and do your duty!”
“Duty, eh?” Inuyasha repeated, holding his pose for a few moments to meet each of their gazes in turn. Then he suddenly spun to the side and smashed Tetsusaiga into the ground, summoning the Kaze no Kizu. Now there was a nice bluff; a large swath of earth was rapidly and spectacularly decimated by Tetsusaiga’s youki. He would never use the Kaze no Kizu against humans, of course, and in fact he wasn’t sure his sword would allow it in the first place. But they didn’t need to know that. And as he turned back to face them, casually leaning his blade against his shoulder, he could see that each man was pondering what would happen if that incredibly powerful attack was directed at him. The leader’s chin quivered, his lips moving soundlessly.
“Unless your duty is to die, I suggest you get the fuck out of here,” Inuyasha stated, adding a little menace to his tone as he glared directly at the leader. “And if you’re going to order your men to die, then you’d better be prepared yourself.” Inuyasha could see when his message sank in. That’s right, you stuck-up bastard. I’m coming for you first. Finally, the leader found his voice.
“W-well…p-perhaps I will let you and your companions go with a warning. Leave these lands, and do not return.”
Without waiting for a response, he spun his horse around and trotted off with as much dignity as he could manage. His relieved soldiers hurried to catch up, laying their former prisoners’ weapons and Kagome’s bag on the grass. Some even muttered apologies for the ‘misunderstanding’ as they passed. Inuyasha watched them go, then sheathed Tetsusaiga. He heard his friends approaching, and swallowed in sudden nervousness. Scaring the soldiers away had been easy. Now came the hard part.
Miroku cleared his throat. “Well, Inuyasha, I must confess that I am surprised to see again you so soon. I did not think that Shippou and Kirara would be able to catch up to you so quickly to warn of you our predicament.”
“We didn’t,” Shippou stated in amazement, as if just now realizing the significance of the direction the hanyou had been traveling in when they met. “He was already on his way back.”
A chorus of gasps rang out behind Inuyasha, but one in particular caught his attention. His nerves intensified, his heart racing now as sweat pooled on his brow. His mouth was suddenly dry, but he licked his lips and found the courage to speak.
“I…never should have left.”
The shift in her scent had him spinning around to face her. She gazed at him, a mixture of hope and apprehension shining in her eyes. It was clear that she didn’t want to misunderstand him, to get her hopes up only to have them dashed when she discovered that he didn’t really mean what she thought. He was pretty sure he knew what she truly wanted to hear, but he couldn’t give her that. Just as he couldn’t promise to stay by her side until death did them part. He could, however, speak from the heart and open up to her in a way he never had before. He prayed that would be enough.
“I don’t want to leave you guys,” he said, addressing everyone but looking only at Kagome. “But I can’t abandon Kikyou. I need to know for sure whether she’s alive or not. Otherwise, I won’t be able to move forward. Please…come with me. Help me look for her.”
Kagome gazed at him, not sure how to feel. On the one hand, he had come back. He had returned of his own volition, and surely not solely because he feared that he had left her in danger. She could see it in his face; he was concerned for her emotional well-being as well. He never wanted to hurt her, in any way, but that had not stopped him from going to see Kikyou in the past. Whether because of her pregnancy or the closeness they had shared, it was apparently enough to stop him now.
All of that was fine, but Kagome wasn’t jumping for joy. Inuyasha still didn’t want to choose between her and Kikyou. He was practically begging her not to make him choose, to let him keep her by his side while giving her preincarnation priority. What would he do if she refused to go with him? Would he go anyway? Perhaps he didn’t even know. Kagome felt all eyes on her, their other friends prepared to defer to her judgment. So what did she do? Was this the day she finally put her foot down with Inuyasha? Was this the day she made him choose between herself and Kikyou?
His words came back to her. I need to know for sure whether she’s alive or not. Otherwise, I won’t be able to move forward. She had to struggle not to read too much into those words. The most optimistic side of her translated that as a statement that he would be free to love her as a woman and become her husband if Kikyou was really gone. And that it would be what he truly desired. But she knew that was foolishness on her part. Inuyasha was no more ready to become her husband than he was to forget about Kikyou. Maybe those things she dreamed of really would happen someday if Kikyou was no longer in the picture, but only if she was really gone. Was it not natural for Inuyasha to want to know for sure, to feel driven to follow leads and rumors of her whereabouts?
Ultimately, Kagome decided that she wasn’t ready to give him an ultimatum. She wasn’t ready for the look of hurt and betrayal in his eyes, to see how crushed he would be when she ceased to act as the understanding and forgiving girl who had become his best friend. And she wasn’t prepared to have her heart broken when he chose Kikyou anyway. Even if he was still putting Kikyou ahead of her, even if this was just a slightly different version of the status quo, she couldn’t do that to him. She loved him too much for that. They had grown closer because she had never forced him to choose, and now did not strike her as the time to start. Besides, she too wanted to know for sure whether Kikyou had passed on or not, whether Inuyasha was free to ‘move forward.’
His relief at her small nod was a palpable thing, and Kagome immediately knew that she had made the right decision. Her relationship with Inuyasha had never been characterized by dramatic twists and turns, though there had certainly been a few of those along the way. It was a slowly-evolving phenomenon which had taken plenty of trials and much heartache to reach this point. By putting her own desires aside, she gave the gradual evolution a chance to continue. Agreeing to this didn’t make her happy–in fact it was pretty depressing–but it was yet another step in the right direction. At least he had asked her to come with him to a potential encounter with Kikyou, rather than leaving her behind. Given the choice, she would much prefer to be by his side, even if she had to witness another tender moment between the two of them. In that case, she could trust Inuyasha to be considerate of her feelings…hopefully.
Inuyasha was indeed pleased at Kagome’s acceptance of his proposal. For a few heartbeats he had honestly thought she would refuse. But he too understood that while Kagome had acquiesced to his request, she was not happy about it. He vowed to do his best to make this as painless for her as possible, especially if they did happen to find Kikyou. But there was one little problem with this arrangement, he realized as soon as he started to consider the mechanics of actually traveling to Kikyou’s supposed location. Namely, Kirara wasn’t fully healed. She certainly wasn’t up to carrying Miroku and Sango, and Shippou couldn’t be trusted to bear such a burden in his balloon form over long distances. Inuyasha didn’t think they would be especially keen on crowding onto his back again either. No, that had only flown because they’d been unconscious at the time. So that meant either leaving them behind or delaying his search for Kikyou, neither of which he wanted to do. The wandering monk had said that the miko was wounded. Kirara would probably feel better by morning, but who knew if Kikyou would last that long? But on the other hand, how could he tell Miroku and Sango that their lives weren’t important enough for him to protect? Inuyasha was suddenly and utterly stumped as to what to do.
Unbeknownst to him, said pair of humans shared an exasperated but amused look at their friend’s consternation. Inuyasha meant well, but he was such a dolt sometimes. They weren’t happy with his continued ‘two-timing,’ but asking Kagome to go with him was a definite improvement over what usually happened. He was showing his growing concern for her feelings, in his own asinine way. And they would respect Kagome’s wishes on the matter. So they would let him off the proverbial hook. Besides, some time alone might do the hanyou and miko some good, especially if the rumor of Kikyou turned out to be false. Inuyasha had been fairly closed off since Kikyou’s apparent demise at Mount Hakurei, but perhaps Kagome could break down some of his walls if given the opportunity.
“Go ahead, you two,” Miroku told them with a smile devoid of lechery. “Don’t worry about us.”
“You sure?” Inuyasha demanded excitedly, like a child might after hearing the words he desperately wants to hear.
“We can take care of ourselves, Inuyasha,” Sango told him firmly, slightly annoyed that he thought they needed his protection. “We’ve been doing it our whole lives.”
“Indeed. And besides,” Miroku added with an amorous grin, looping his arm around Sango’s shoulders. “Sango and I will enjoy a very pleasant evening by ourselves.”
Despite her melancholy, Kagome had to giggle at the look of absolute panic on her friend’s face. Oh, Sango-chan, did you just now realize that sending me off with Inuyasha leaves you alone with Miroku-sama? Apparently so, and the taijiya was not pleased with the revelation. She flushed a dark shade of pink and broke free of Miroku’s embrace, her eyes darting to and fro as she tried to come up with a way out of this. Salvation came in the form of throat being cleared, and all eyes turned to the pouting kitsune sitting with his arms folded next to Kirara. Neither looked especially pleased that both pairs of adults had made plans to be alone, forgetting all about their diminutive companions.
“Shippou and Kirara can stay with us!” Sango declared hastily, as if afraid that someone else would call ‘dibs’ first. Miroku had the grace to look crestfallen, but in truth he couldn’t have been surprised. Kagome did wonder just who Sango felt so strongly that she couldn’t trust…the lecherous monk, or herself?
With the arrangements finalized, the Inu-gang settled a few minor details before splitting up. Miroku and Sango agreed to make camp away from the road so as to avoid detection by any other soldiers which might come marching past. They also promised to meet Inuyasha and Kagome at the village where Kikyou was supposedly holed up. Sango was confident that Kirara would feel better by morning, and if not, they would walk. Inuyasha didn’t protest this potential delay in their quest for the sole reason that it would allow Kagome to sleep in if she needed to, which was exactly why Sango had proposed it in the first place. Finally, the miko left her bag with the taijiya, not wishing to have it with her while riding Inuyasha at top speed–that would be no fun for her back and shoulders. It was not as though she would need her supplies for the night, after all. If they did find Kikyou, she doubted she’d be able to sleep in the other miko’s presence. And if not, they’d probably return to the others.
Those items resolved, the only remaining question was the mode of Kagome’s transportation. There was only one option, obviously, but Inuyasha still looked fairly nervous as he knelt down in front of her. But if Kagome wasn’t going to refuse to actually go with him to look for Kikyou, she certainly couldn’t take issue with riding on his back. The pleading look in his eyes also helped to convince her, and as she settled against him, his hands returning to their customary position holding her lower thighs, she realized that this wasn’t going to be as awkward as she feared. He told her to let him know if the ride was too bumpy, and they were off. It was a little bumpy, since he was running as fast as he could, but Kagome could handle it so she didn’t complain. It was honestly nice to be here with him, nestled against his back with the wind whipping through her hair. She only hoped that the more pleasant aspects of spending time with Inuyasha didn’t go straight to hell once they arrived at their destination.
Kagome’s nervousness increased the closer they came to the village in question, but in reality there was nothing to worry about. There was no sign of Kikyou, and none of the villagers had seen a miko. Some of them recalled speaking to the wandering monk, but none reported hearing of a miko from his lips or otherwise. What’s going on? Kagome wondered as she watched Inuyasha sadly. He stood on the bank of the river, gazing across the gently flowing waters with an unreadable expression. Her shoulders slumped, her already dismal spirits sinking even further. Somehow, they had wound up exactly where they were this morning, with no confirmation that Kikyou was either dead or alive. Inuyasha, and their relationship, was still stuck in limbo.
The hanyou noticed her attention and shook himself. He sauntered over to her with some forced spring in his step, clearly trying to seem upbeat for her sake. Kagome wasn’t buying it, but she did appreciate the effort.
“You wanna head back?” he asked, to which the miko nodded. They might as well rejoin the others; there was no reason to stay here. The sun was setting, but the waning light was certainly no issue for Inuyasha. Kagome knelt down and drank a few cupped handfuls of water from the river. Thirst quenched, she stood and turned to her companion, expecting to find him kneeling before her. Instead he stood facing away from her, back straight and ears perked at attention. She raised her eyes to follow his gaze and gasped. Against the horizon loomed an undulating mass, growing ever larger. Stretching out her spiritual senses confirmed that the mysterious entity was a swarm of youkai, possibly the same one which had devastated the village they’d come across earlier that day.
“Shit!” Inuyasha cursed, now kneeling down expectantly. He launched them into a full sprint as soon as Kagome was settled, reaching the nearby village in a matter of seconds. Most of the women were inside cooking the evening meal, but some of the men and children were outdoors. One by one they noticed the approaching cloud, though most seemed more concerned about the outsiders in their midst suddenly appearing ready for battle. That would soon change, Inuyasha knew. As soon as their weak human eyes saw the youkai swarm for what it was, a general panic would ensue. Not that it would do them any good.
“Stay here, Kagome,” he told her, setting her down and leaping up to the roof of a building directly in the swarm’s path. There he waited, fingering Tetsusaiga’s hilt with a grave expression. That is, until he heard Kagome’s squeak of fright. Looking over in her direction, he barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. She had attempted to climb up to the roof using a conveniently place cart as a stepping stool, but had only managed to lever one arm over the ledge and now hung helplessly, grunting and flailing her feet.
“What the hell are you doing, wench?” he demanded as he pulled her up, more exasperated than angry. She didn’t respond, instead walking across the rooftop to face the youkai, unshouldering her bow and removing an arrow from her quiver.
“Seriously, Kagome, I can handle this.”
“My place is by your side, Inuyasha.”
His retort died on his lips. How could he argue with that? And why would he want to? Kagome wanted to be with him, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate her presence. They had faced down the vaunted Shichinintai together; no amount of small fry youkai would be enough to overcome them. He sidled up next to her, sparing a sideways glance to see her smiling grimly as she sized up their enemy. He felt his lips curl upward to match her expression, the thrill of impending battle running through him. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as an ominous wind picked up, tossing her hair behind her, and dark shadows slowly crept across her face. Still, her smile never wavered. And as the youkai swarm grew large enough to blot out the setting sun, and cries of alarm went up behind them, they drew their weapons.
The resulting clash was as spectacular as it was satisfying, for both of them. Tetsusaiga’s youki and Kagome’s spiritual energy flowed together as before, actually seeming to enhance one another as they tore through the marauding youkai, leaving not a single one alive. There was a moment of silence when the carnage was over. They turned to each other, still grinning. Inuyasha held up his hand, not as a lover or even a brother would, but as one warrior to another. Kagome took it in the same way, her eyes shining with happiness. For whatever problems they might have, whatever lingering issues held them back, when they were together like this it felt like destiny.
The rising sound of cheering broke their mutual captivation, and they pulled apart. Inuyasha was somewhat surprised to find the entire village applauding them from below, but he supposed it was a natural reaction to what they’d just witnessed. Him and Kagome standing there with a gorgeous twilight in the background and pieces of youkai raining down behind them…yeah, they must look pretty badass. The cheering turned into expressions of gratitude when they came down from the roof. The ‘Miko-sama’ got most of the credit, but Inuyasha was used to that so he didn’t let it get to him. Kagome was so overwhelmed that she didn’t seem to notice. Finally, the village headman quieted the crowd, formally thanked the saviors, and begged them to name a reward for their great service.
“You still wanna go back?” Inuyasha asked quietly, so only Kagome would hear.
“We can’t,” Kagome replied in a whisper. “They’re scared to death, and all those carcasses might attract more youkai. Maybe Miroku-sama can put up some sutras in the morning so they’re not completely defenseless.”
Inuyasha nodded, accepting her decision. Truth be told, he had no objection to staying the night. Maybe Kagome would sleep better indoors. This was a poor village and didn’t seem to have an inn, but surely they didn’t have to feel guilty about accepting a meal and a place to sleep for the night. Speaking of guilt, he still hadn’t forgotten what his foolishness had put Kagome through earlier. Perhaps there was a way to make it up to her…
The villagers were only too happy to oblige; a meal and a couple beds seemed a small price to pay for their lives. Struck by sudden inspiration, however, Inuyasha drew the headman aside and spoke to him quietly.
“Anybody in this town own a bathtub?”
* * *
“Mmmm,” Kagome groaned as she sank
into the steaming water, immediately immersing herself up to her
shoulders. A five-star spa treatment could never feel as good as
the simple pleasure of a hot bath after a couple hard days on the
road. The evening had passed by in a blur so far, but she fully
intended to savor every moment of this divine submersion.
Inuyasha’s attitude had suddenly taken on an air of smugness soon after he spoke to the headman, but she hadn’t learned why until later. That’s because the sneak had asked the headman to keep the bath preparations quiet, intending to surprise her. Well, mission accomplished. There had been plenty of distractions to keep her from finding out, first among them Inuyasha’s own odd behavior. When the sleeping arrangements were being discussed, the hanyou had stated in no uncertain terms that he was ‘Miko-sama’s loyal protector,’ and that one room would be sufficient. She had thrown him a confused look at that, but had decided not to question him about it in front of everyone. In the relative privacy of the headman’s hut, eating dinner with him and his family, Inuyasha had been less formal but had still addressed her as ‘Kagome-sama.’ It wasn’t bad to be referred to with such respect, but it was weirding her out coming from him.
Kagome wasn’t as naïve as she used to be. She was pretty sure she knew why Inuyasha was behaving the way he was. Namely, there was prejudice in this time period against nonhumans. He probably wanted the villagers to think they were partners or had something of a master-servant relationship, rather than real friendship. She was sure many of the locals did think that, she being the miko and him being her youkai helper who she in turn kept in line. She was tempted to correct their misunderstanding, but knew that would only cause problems. Inuyasha had dealt with this his whole life, so she resolved to follow his lead. This was also the first time that the two of them were alone in a strange village in a long while. In the beginning, they hadn’t stopped at many villages. And even when they did, they hadn’t liked each other very much. No one who saw them back then would assume they were anything more than reluctant allies, but that wasn’t the case anymore.
So she hadn’t said anything, and had promptly forgotten all about her concerns when Inuyasha went outside and returned with an announcement that her bath water was almost ready. She had been hard-pressed not to hug him then and there, but managed to restrain herself. She did feel a little guilty, since heating that quantity of water took a significant amount of effort and firewood. But the headman brushed off her concerns, and stated that he was glad to surrender his home for the night so she and her companion could have a well-deserved rest. His was the only home with a bathtub; most of the villagers just washed in the river. The one with the cold water in it. Kagome shivered just thinking about it, and sank further into her bath.
When she emerged an untold number of minutes later, completely refreshed, she found Inuyasha sitting near the cook fire. She giggled a bit at his matted hair and the dampness of his robes, amused that he had chosen to jump in the river–likely with all of his clothes on–instead of taking a bath himself. The sound of her voice drew his attention, but his easy grin vanished as soon as he laid eyes on her. His jaw dropped slightly, his gaze becoming somewhat mesmerized as it panned down her body. A delightful shiver passed along Kagome’s spine at his perusal, and she looked down at herself to try to see what was captivating him so.
It was just a sleeping yukata, borrowed from the headman’s wife. The garment flowed down to her ankles and revealed very little skin, and she had dried herself thoroughly so the cloth wouldn’t get damp and cling to her. The obi hugged her slightly-expanded waist and drew a nice hourglass figure, but wasn’t nearly as form-fitting as Sango’s taijiya armour, for example. Her appearance didn’t seem very special to her, and Kagome hadn’t expected Inuyasha to react at all. Oh, but he was most definitely reacting, and not in a bad way. There was a small but tantalizing amount of heat in his gaze, which caused Kagome’s heartbeat to thunder in her chest. Perhaps he heard it, because in the next moment his eyes panned up to hers, a dark blush staining his cheeks before he tore his gaze away in favor of staring at the floorboards.
Once she had composed herself, Kagome walked over and sat next to him. She smiled softly at his intense embarrassment, finding it endearing. Honestly, it wasn’t as though he’d been ogling her naked. He just liked how she looked in the yukata. She would have to file that little tidbit of information away for the future. Maybe he has a thing for traditional clothes…except miko robes, of course, she thought with a grimace. She didn’t want to let a reminder of the Kikyou crisis ruin her good mood, but it was difficult. Perhaps sensing the shift in her spirits, Inuyasha cleared his throat and spoke up.
“Did you, uh, like your bath?”
“Oh…yes, it was wonderful. Thank you.”
“Keh. The locals did all the work.”
“Yes, but I know it was your idea.”
He didn’t deny it. “Well…you deserved it, Kagome,” he stated with all seriousness.
“Kagome?” she repeated, his statement having reminded her of his earlier behavior. Now that they were alone, he was acting like his old self again. She thought she understood his reasoning for the more formal façade in front of the villagers, but wanted to hear it from him to make sure.
He signed, ears drooping. “I just…didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea, Kagome. People are funny…gratitude can turn to angry mob in a hurry.” If they think you’re fucking a half-breed, he added in his head.
Kagome nodded, having expected as much. The prejudice of this time period irritated the hell out of her, but there was little she could do about it except show Inuyasha on a daily basis that she wasn’t like that, that she loved him for who and what he was. And she knew that he appreciated, perhaps even cherished her acceptance and support. But a small part of her couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t have an ulterior motive. Perhaps part of the reason that he didn’t want the villagers to think they were together was because he didn’t want them to be together. Now…or ever. She knew she was overthinking things, but still that small element of doubt refused to go away. When Inuyasha spoke again, she quickly buried it with all of her other insecurities.
“Sorry…for leaving earlier. I’m sure you didn’t feel like getting kidnapped today.”
“It’s all right, Inuyasha,” she assured him automatically. “You came back. That…” she trailed off, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat. “T-that’s what counts.”
He looked like he wanted to believe her, that everything was fine between them. Hell, she wanted to believe it herself. But both secretly knew that they were kidding themselves. They truly were stuck in limbo, unable to move forward. Close, but never close enough. An oppressive, awkward silence set in, but before Kagome could figure out how to break it, her eyes began to droop. Inuyasha urged her to go to bed, and she didn’t protest. She was out cold within ten seconds of lying down on the futon.
The hanyou sighed as he stood, then exited the hut and hopped up to the roof to begin his nightly vigil. He wouldn’t sleep, not when he and Kagome were alone in a strange village, and especially with the heightened threat of youkai attack. Logically, the roof was the best place to spot trouble, but he also knew that he needed to get away from her if he was to act as an effective sentry. Her appearance had proven especially…distracting this evening. Seeing her in that yukata had hit him in a way which transcended physical attraction. Judging by her confused scent, she hadn’t understood the real reason that her choice of garb affected him so, for which he was grateful. It had shaken him to the core, that yukata. She had never looked so much like a wife before.
Inuyasha wasn’t a fool. He knew that if Kagome did someday marry, she would never be the obedient and submissive wife typical to this time period. If he had been lucid at the time, he might’ve reflected that he would never want her to change who she was for anyone. But on a purely visual level, she was the spitting image of a married woman settling down for the night in the feudal era. For a few blissful heartbeats, his imagination had run away with him, showing him something which frightened him because of how strongly he’d yearned for it in that moment.
He’d stumbled through the next few minutes, managing to utter the words of apology he’d been rehearsing for the better part of an hour. Apologizing had done little to assuage his guilt, however. Kagome was still depressed, and he knew why. Unfortunately, there was little he could do about it. He owed a duty to Kikyou, one he had failed miserably to honor. His sadness and self-loathing over allowing Kikyou to die warred inside him with his remorse for stomping all over Kagome’s feelings. At times, he felt like one big pile of misery. His only moment of true happiness since Kikyou’s apparent demise had been earlier this evening, when for so fleeting a moment he had forgotten his worries and basked in victory with Kagome. Then harsh reality had settled back in.
His duty to Kikyou remained in effect. If he heard a credible rumor of her whereabouts, he owed it to her to investigate. And if he happened to find her clinging to life, he would take care of her. Regardless of how Kagome felt. There were measures he could take to lessen the younger miko’s pain, but he could not forsake Kikyou. Perhaps the reason Kagome had agreed to accompany him was because she knew this, and didn’t want to cause a rift between them. For he now knew what he would do if Kagome forced him to choose between herself and her preincarnation. He would choose Kikyou, at least to the extent of his duty to protect and care for her. And he would pray that Kagome found it in her heart to forgive him for it.
He was nevertheless extremely grateful to be here, with her. She had put aside her own feelings in order to remain by his side, as she had been doing since day one. He ardently hoped that they would soon discover unequivocally whether Kikyou had survived her brush with death. Even moving backwards would be preferable to hanging in limbo.
Inuyasha’s attitude had suddenly taken on an air of smugness soon after he spoke to the headman, but she hadn’t learned why until later. That’s because the sneak had asked the headman to keep the bath preparations quiet, intending to surprise her. Well, mission accomplished. There had been plenty of distractions to keep her from finding out, first among them Inuyasha’s own odd behavior. When the sleeping arrangements were being discussed, the hanyou had stated in no uncertain terms that he was ‘Miko-sama’s loyal protector,’ and that one room would be sufficient. She had thrown him a confused look at that, but had decided not to question him about it in front of everyone. In the relative privacy of the headman’s hut, eating dinner with him and his family, Inuyasha had been less formal but had still addressed her as ‘Kagome-sama.’ It wasn’t bad to be referred to with such respect, but it was weirding her out coming from him.
Kagome wasn’t as naïve as she used to be. She was pretty sure she knew why Inuyasha was behaving the way he was. Namely, there was prejudice in this time period against nonhumans. He probably wanted the villagers to think they were partners or had something of a master-servant relationship, rather than real friendship. She was sure many of the locals did think that, she being the miko and him being her youkai helper who she in turn kept in line. She was tempted to correct their misunderstanding, but knew that would only cause problems. Inuyasha had dealt with this his whole life, so she resolved to follow his lead. This was also the first time that the two of them were alone in a strange village in a long while. In the beginning, they hadn’t stopped at many villages. And even when they did, they hadn’t liked each other very much. No one who saw them back then would assume they were anything more than reluctant allies, but that wasn’t the case anymore.
So she hadn’t said anything, and had promptly forgotten all about her concerns when Inuyasha went outside and returned with an announcement that her bath water was almost ready. She had been hard-pressed not to hug him then and there, but managed to restrain herself. She did feel a little guilty, since heating that quantity of water took a significant amount of effort and firewood. But the headman brushed off her concerns, and stated that he was glad to surrender his home for the night so she and her companion could have a well-deserved rest. His was the only home with a bathtub; most of the villagers just washed in the river. The one with the cold water in it. Kagome shivered just thinking about it, and sank further into her bath.
When she emerged an untold number of minutes later, completely refreshed, she found Inuyasha sitting near the cook fire. She giggled a bit at his matted hair and the dampness of his robes, amused that he had chosen to jump in the river–likely with all of his clothes on–instead of taking a bath himself. The sound of her voice drew his attention, but his easy grin vanished as soon as he laid eyes on her. His jaw dropped slightly, his gaze becoming somewhat mesmerized as it panned down her body. A delightful shiver passed along Kagome’s spine at his perusal, and she looked down at herself to try to see what was captivating him so.
It was just a sleeping yukata, borrowed from the headman’s wife. The garment flowed down to her ankles and revealed very little skin, and she had dried herself thoroughly so the cloth wouldn’t get damp and cling to her. The obi hugged her slightly-expanded waist and drew a nice hourglass figure, but wasn’t nearly as form-fitting as Sango’s taijiya armour, for example. Her appearance didn’t seem very special to her, and Kagome hadn’t expected Inuyasha to react at all. Oh, but he was most definitely reacting, and not in a bad way. There was a small but tantalizing amount of heat in his gaze, which caused Kagome’s heartbeat to thunder in her chest. Perhaps he heard it, because in the next moment his eyes panned up to hers, a dark blush staining his cheeks before he tore his gaze away in favor of staring at the floorboards.
Once she had composed herself, Kagome walked over and sat next to him. She smiled softly at his intense embarrassment, finding it endearing. Honestly, it wasn’t as though he’d been ogling her naked. He just liked how she looked in the yukata. She would have to file that little tidbit of information away for the future. Maybe he has a thing for traditional clothes…except miko robes, of course, she thought with a grimace. She didn’t want to let a reminder of the Kikyou crisis ruin her good mood, but it was difficult. Perhaps sensing the shift in her spirits, Inuyasha cleared his throat and spoke up.
“Did you, uh, like your bath?”
“Oh…yes, it was wonderful. Thank you.”
“Keh. The locals did all the work.”
“Yes, but I know it was your idea.”
He didn’t deny it. “Well…you deserved it, Kagome,” he stated with all seriousness.
“Kagome?” she repeated, his statement having reminded her of his earlier behavior. Now that they were alone, he was acting like his old self again. She thought she understood his reasoning for the more formal façade in front of the villagers, but wanted to hear it from him to make sure.
He signed, ears drooping. “I just…didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea, Kagome. People are funny…gratitude can turn to angry mob in a hurry.” If they think you’re fucking a half-breed, he added in his head.
Kagome nodded, having expected as much. The prejudice of this time period irritated the hell out of her, but there was little she could do about it except show Inuyasha on a daily basis that she wasn’t like that, that she loved him for who and what he was. And she knew that he appreciated, perhaps even cherished her acceptance and support. But a small part of her couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t have an ulterior motive. Perhaps part of the reason that he didn’t want the villagers to think they were together was because he didn’t want them to be together. Now…or ever. She knew she was overthinking things, but still that small element of doubt refused to go away. When Inuyasha spoke again, she quickly buried it with all of her other insecurities.
“Sorry…for leaving earlier. I’m sure you didn’t feel like getting kidnapped today.”
“It’s all right, Inuyasha,” she assured him automatically. “You came back. That…” she trailed off, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat. “T-that’s what counts.”
He looked like he wanted to believe her, that everything was fine between them. Hell, she wanted to believe it herself. But both secretly knew that they were kidding themselves. They truly were stuck in limbo, unable to move forward. Close, but never close enough. An oppressive, awkward silence set in, but before Kagome could figure out how to break it, her eyes began to droop. Inuyasha urged her to go to bed, and she didn’t protest. She was out cold within ten seconds of lying down on the futon.
The hanyou sighed as he stood, then exited the hut and hopped up to the roof to begin his nightly vigil. He wouldn’t sleep, not when he and Kagome were alone in a strange village, and especially with the heightened threat of youkai attack. Logically, the roof was the best place to spot trouble, but he also knew that he needed to get away from her if he was to act as an effective sentry. Her appearance had proven especially…distracting this evening. Seeing her in that yukata had hit him in a way which transcended physical attraction. Judging by her confused scent, she hadn’t understood the real reason that her choice of garb affected him so, for which he was grateful. It had shaken him to the core, that yukata. She had never looked so much like a wife before.
Inuyasha wasn’t a fool. He knew that if Kagome did someday marry, she would never be the obedient and submissive wife typical to this time period. If he had been lucid at the time, he might’ve reflected that he would never want her to change who she was for anyone. But on a purely visual level, she was the spitting image of a married woman settling down for the night in the feudal era. For a few blissful heartbeats, his imagination had run away with him, showing him something which frightened him because of how strongly he’d yearned for it in that moment.
He’d stumbled through the next few minutes, managing to utter the words of apology he’d been rehearsing for the better part of an hour. Apologizing had done little to assuage his guilt, however. Kagome was still depressed, and he knew why. Unfortunately, there was little he could do about it. He owed a duty to Kikyou, one he had failed miserably to honor. His sadness and self-loathing over allowing Kikyou to die warred inside him with his remorse for stomping all over Kagome’s feelings. At times, he felt like one big pile of misery. His only moment of true happiness since Kikyou’s apparent demise had been earlier this evening, when for so fleeting a moment he had forgotten his worries and basked in victory with Kagome. Then harsh reality had settled back in.
His duty to Kikyou remained in effect. If he heard a credible rumor of her whereabouts, he owed it to her to investigate. And if he happened to find her clinging to life, he would take care of her. Regardless of how Kagome felt. There were measures he could take to lessen the younger miko’s pain, but he could not forsake Kikyou. Perhaps the reason Kagome had agreed to accompany him was because she knew this, and didn’t want to cause a rift between them. For he now knew what he would do if Kagome forced him to choose between herself and her preincarnation. He would choose Kikyou, at least to the extent of his duty to protect and care for her. And he would pray that Kagome found it in her heart to forgive him for it.
He was nevertheless extremely grateful to be here, with her. She had put aside her own feelings in order to remain by his side, as she had been doing since day one. He ardently hoped that they would soon discover unequivocally whether Kikyou had survived her brush with death. Even moving backwards would be preferable to hanging in limbo.
* * *
Kagura yawned as she meandered leisurely across
the darkening sky on her feather. It had been a long, boring day.
The Okugata’s soldiers had brought in plenty of
‘suspicious outsiders,’ but none of them proved to be
the humans Inuyasha traveled with. This surprised Kagura; she had
honestly thought that the hanyou would fall for the ruse.
Eventually, Naraku’s infant had ordered her to find out what
was going on. She started her search at the most logical
place–the village where her corpse dance controlled monk had
stated that Kikyou would be. Sure enough, both Inuyasha and Kagome
were there. Kagura arrived just in time to witness them slaughter a
swarm of youkai together in impressive fashion. Needless to say,
she’d retreated swiftly before they noticed her, glad for
once that her orders did not include engaging in combat. So the
hanyou and miko could combine their attacks now? She would file
that away in her little cache of information about Naraku’s
enemies, alongside her prior knowledge of Inuyasha’s time of
weakness. A good minion would report these to her master, of
course, but then good minions didn’t wish for their
master’s death either.
Eventually, the castle came into view and Kagura sighed, knowing her brief period of freedom was over. But she dared not make the infant wait any longer; the little cretin was more powerful that he looked, she was sure. And Naraku probably trusted him a lot more than he trusted her.
“Well?” the infant demanded as soon as she entered the room where he sat with the possessed Okugata.
Kagura shrugged. “Inuyasha followed the lead about Kikyou, but he took Kagome with him.”
“What?” Naraku’s offspring growled in annoyance. “Did the others go with them too?” Kagura shook her head, and the infant turned contemplative.
“So they are staying at the village for the night?” he asked.
“Seemed that way.”
“Good. Pick me up.”
“Why? We leaving?”
“Just shut up and do as I say.”
Kagura rolled her eyes inwardly. Just like Naraku, this one. And yet, he maintained that he wasn’t Naraku’s offspring. Too bad he looks like Naraku pleasured himself and left his fluids congealing in a corner. She wisely kept that observation to herself.
On the bright side, it didn’t look like the remainder of the evening would be boring.
A/N – I don’t think Akago is actually the infant’s name; I read that it’s just a Japanese word for ‘infant’ which other characters use to address him (not knowing his real name). So I probably won’t refer to him in text as ‘Akago’ going forward.
Eventually, the castle came into view and Kagura sighed, knowing her brief period of freedom was over. But she dared not make the infant wait any longer; the little cretin was more powerful that he looked, she was sure. And Naraku probably trusted him a lot more than he trusted her.
“Well?” the infant demanded as soon as she entered the room where he sat with the possessed Okugata.
Kagura shrugged. “Inuyasha followed the lead about Kikyou, but he took Kagome with him.”
“What?” Naraku’s offspring growled in annoyance. “Did the others go with them too?” Kagura shook her head, and the infant turned contemplative.
“So they are staying at the village for the night?” he asked.
“Seemed that way.”
“Good. Pick me up.”
“Why? We leaving?”
“Just shut up and do as I say.”
Kagura rolled her eyes inwardly. Just like Naraku, this one. And yet, he maintained that he wasn’t Naraku’s offspring. Too bad he looks like Naraku pleasured himself and left his fluids congealing in a corner. She wisely kept that observation to herself.
On the bright side, it didn’t look like the remainder of the evening would be boring.
A/N – I don’t think Akago is actually the infant’s name; I read that it’s just a Japanese word for ‘infant’ which other characters use to address him (not knowing his real name). So I probably won’t refer to him in text as ‘Akago’ going forward.