InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Blackout ❯ Darkness in the Heart ( Chapter 23 )

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I’m just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I’ve created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.


Darkness in the Heart


They came in the wee hours of the morning. Two swarms of youkai from the north and west, each almost twice as large as the one they had destroyed the day before. Inuyasha sensed their combined youki brushing against his aura a few seconds before spotting them against the sky, illuminated by the dim light of the moon and stars. And immediately, he knew that this was not going to be nearly as easy as the previous battle.

Kagome was already stirring when he stormed into the room, perhaps sensing the approaching youkai as well. But his urgent words immediately roused her to a full state of wakefulness. Next he dashed over to the hut where the village headman was currently staying, woke him and informed him of the situation. His orders were firm and succinct; the headman was to wake the village, gather his people together, and lead them away from the approaching swarms to the southeast. If the humans were huddled into one large group, they would be much easier to defend. Inuyasha knew that he and Kagome would never be able to save everyone if they remained spread out as they were now. The flimsy wood of the huts would serve as little protection against ravenous youkai.

He was rushing back over to the headman’s home when Kagome emerged, having changed into her school uniform in record time. Inuyasha nodded in approval at her choice of garb; the uniform was not much in the way of armour, but it did provide much more freedom of movement than the yukata. And the lack of armour was something he could remedy. Kagome looked like she wanted to protest as he tossed her his fire-rat haori, but on this he would not budge. She was carrying his child, and she was damn well going to wear his haori. End of discussion. Grimacing as she realized how stubborn he was going to be, Kagome slipped the garment over her shoulders, sliding her arms though the slits and tying the voluminous sleeves around her torso as she had done in the past. That done, she favored him with a ‘happy now?’ look that didn’t quite reach her eyes, which reflected gratitude.

Inuyasha stepped in close, grabbing her hand and holding it up between their chests. Kagome’s eyes widened as he stared down at her, her lips parting slightly as if expecting him to kiss her. As pleasant as that would be, it hadn’t honestly been Inuyasha’s goal and he wasn’t prepared to simply ‘dive in.’ He would require some time to gather the necessary courage for such a drastic action, even in this charged situation. Really, he had just wanted to get a very important message across to her, so he went with that approach instead.

“Stay close to me, Kagome,” he told her gravely. “Don’t leave my side for any reason.”

Kagome seemed surprised to hear such a demand, but nodded in agreement. She was intelligent, and probably understood the reason for his concern. It would be hard to look at the false rumor of Kikyou, the soldiers which had abducted his friends, and now this attack and not suspect something. In Inuyasha’s experience, low-level youkai didn’t make coordinated attacks like this. The other one might’ve been a random occurrence, but this seemed like anything but. Some higher power was pulling the strings, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out the prime candidate for such a role. Naraku…he’s always had it out for Kagome. If I had gone to look for Kikyou alone, what would have happened to her? He did not plan on finding out. He did, however, vow to make the bastard answer for so sadistically toying with their emotions.

By this time, the village was a hive of activity. All the panicked little bees were buzzing about in the common areas, each doing his own thing. The headman was shouting for attention, but he was not a young man and lacked the vocal fortitude to make his voice heard over the crowd. This was not a shortcoming which Inuyasha shared.

“SHUT UP!!!” he bellowed at the top of his lungs, drawing out each word for effect. The clamoring of the frightened humans quickly dwindled into silence. “Follow him!” he ordered next, pointing a clawed finger at the headman. “And be quiet about it!”

Satisfied that things were under control, or at least as much as possible in this situation, Inuyasha turned back to Kagome, only to find her grinning playfully and pretending to clean out her ears.

“You shut up too, wench,” he told her, though his tone was one of amusement. She could tease him for having a big mouth all she wanted, so long as she listened to the words which came from it. Besides, it wasn’t like she didn’t have a big mouth too, though he wisely kept that thought to himself.

All of this had taken about a minute, from the instant Inuyasha first sensed the youkai. During that time, the swarms had closed the distance significantly. But the crowd of villagers was now moving beyond the outskirts of the settlement and into an open field, an excellent position for him and Kagome to mount a defense with their ranged attacks. With any luck, the town could be spared as well, but that was definitely a secondary concern.

Together, the two fighters ran after the fleeing humans, bringing up the rear of the group. Inuyasha repeatedly glanced behind them, trying to anticipate the perfect moment to turn and engage the ever-gaining swarms. Finally, as the youkai converged over the village, becoming one super-swarm rather than two distinct masses, the hanyou grabbed Kagome’s hand and gently pulled her to a halt. She immediately turned and drew an arrow, knowing as well as her partner that the crucial moment had arrived. If they could take out enough of the youkai with their first volley, mopping up the rest would be a relatively simple task. And no humans would have to die tonight.

Kagome was just charging an arrow with spiritual energy when everything went completely wrong. The approaching youkai suddenly changed direction, splitting apart in a giant spherical shape and forming what looked to the future-born miko like a massive, writhing dome. They spread out in all directions, traveling along great sloping trajectories which would eventually carry them to merge once more at a point which would intercept fleeing villagers. Cursing under her breath, Kagome fired an arrow into the rapidly expanding swarm anyway. Inuyasha did likewise with a Kaze no Kizu, but the attacks were not well coordinated and only took out a fraction of the dispersed youkai. Both were readying another attack when a fresh round of terrified screams rang out behind them.

If there had been any doubt in their minds that this was no random youkai attack, it was immediately dispelled. No less than four of Naraku’s puppets now loomed before the crowd. One of them lashed out with a tentacle and decapitated several villagers, killing them instantly. After that, all hell broke loose. Humans fled in all directions, though some remained frozen where they stood, overwhelmed by fear. Still others sat on the ground and cried uncontrollably. The pitiful sight set our hanyou and miko’s blood to boiling. It was obvious that Naraku had orchestrated this whole charade just to get to them. These poor people were nothing but collateral damage.

One of the puppets moved to snatch up some of the villagers, but never got the chance. A purifying arrow caught it in the chest, reducing it to dust in a fraction of a second. Inuyasha hoisted Kagome onto his back and told her to keep shooting, trying to keep her steady as he ran. The miko was glad to oblige, destroying two of the remaining puppets and wounding the last one. It collapsed to the ground, a large chunk removed from its side, but did not dissolve. Still, Inuyasha thought three out of four was a pretty impressive display of archery, especially from hanyou-back. Unfortunately, they had no time to either revel in Kagome’s success or finish off the last puppet. Seeing that the hanyou and miko were distracted, the youkai swarm had moved in.

Barrage after barrage of purifying arrows and Kaze no Kizu did much to thin the enemy’s numbers, but there were too many, and the villagers were now somewhat scattered. The scent of fresh blood filled the air, along with the choking screams of those unlucky enough to be caught by a youkai’s jaws. Those villagers who still had their wits about them began to gather at the only place on the battlefield which actually seemed somewhat safe–Kagome. She fought like a woman possessed, her skin maintaining a light pink glow due to the constant flow of spiritual energy she was using. Each of her arrows vaporized dozens of youkai, carving great swaths through the enemy ranks. Inuyasha did what he could to keep the youkai away from her, and was successful for the most part. On the single occasion one did manage to sneak past him, she calmly whacked it away with a great swing of her bow. The hanyou wished he could have paused for a few moments to admire her, but had to content himself with stolen glances between his own grisly work. He and Tetsusaiga were not idle, slaying as many youkai as the miko. Through it all, he stayed close to Kagome, giving her enough space to fight but remaining near in case of an unexpected emergency.

Gradually the great swarm of youkai began to disperse. So many had been slain, while others were busy feeding on the flesh of the fallen, human and youkai alike. Still others could be seen soaring away into the night, having seen quite enough of the ridiculously powerful miko and hanyou. Not even Naraku’s influence could keep them in the fight any longer. Things were actually starting to look up for our heroes, but both knew better than to count their blessings too soon. Sure enough, from across the battlefield came the frightened cries of children. Inuyasha and Kagome didn’t know it, but the two boys in question had hidden under the carcass of a youkai. That is, until Naraku’s final puppet recovered from its partial purification and lurched upright. The boys had panicked at the sight and made a mad dash for the relative safety of the group of villagers huddled near Kagome, only to be snatched by one of the puppet’s tentacles and hoisted high into the air. Hence the screaming.

Reacting quickly, Kagome fired another arrow at the puppet and this time hit the target cleanly. The entire body was almost instantaneously purified, from the masked face to the tips of the tentacles. This presented another problem, however, namely the two young lads now freefalling from over ten meters in the air. From such a height, death would be the most likely result of an impact with the hard earth below. For a split-second, Inuyasha debated whether to attempt a rescue. He was clearly the only one who stood a chance of saving them, but to do so would take him further away from Kagome than he was comfortable with under the circumstances.

“Inuyasha!”

Her insistent cry sealed it for him, as he launched himself into a dead sprint, sheathing Tetsusaiga as he went. He skidded to a halt and caught the boys with very little room to spare, then dispatched the few rogue youkai which had honed in on the two falling morsels. When he turned to make his way back to Kagome’s side, his heart froze in his chest. A familiar figure was dropping in on her from above, with obvious ill intent. It was Kagura, whose presence neither of them had felt with all of the youki and scents polluting the area. Kagome sensed her approach and fired an arrow, but the wind sorceress looked like she had been expecting this and sent the projectile veering off course with a great sweep of her fan. The resulting wind also served to knock Kagome off balance, and by the time she recovered, Kagura had already landed right next to her. The wind sorceress struck the miko only once, a sharp blow to the temple with her closed fan, which was apparently a lot sturdier than it looked. Kagome went limp and dropped to the ground like a rag doll, all traces of spiritual energy suddenly vanishing from her form. In the best case, she was out cold. In the worst…

“KAGOME!!!” Inuyasha bellowed, once again displaying the tremendous capacity of his lungs. But the miko was dead to the world, and as Kagura hoisted her limp form in one arm, she passed the hanyou an almost apologetic look, as if to say ‘sorry, just following orders.’ Then she was airborne, soaring away on her feather with Kagome as unwilling cargo. An enraged snarl tore from Inuyasha’s throat as he charged after them, willing his legs to pump faster than they were actually capable. He might not be able to catch Kagura on foot, but he could at least stay close. Kagome would not be alone in the enemy’s clutches for long.

There was just one problem with this plan–the remaining youkai, seeing his departure, were closing in on the surviving villagers. His sensitive ears caught their dismayed shouts and pleas for assistance, and his heart clenched. It was an excruciating dilemma, but he knew what the right thing to do was. And what’s more, he knew what Kagome would want him to do.

“Fuck!”

He made short work of the youkai, but dashing back to the battlefield and fighting cost him precious, precious time. Kagura now had at least a minute’s head start on him. He could just barely see her if he squinted, silhouetted against the night sky. But that would not last for long; the gap between them was steadily widening, since she could fly faster than he could run. He thought he could follow the faint scent on the breeze, but even so, his good deed had bought Naraku more time alone with Kagome once his minion arrived at her destination. Inuyasha’s stride faltered as he imagined what might happen to Kagome, but he chased those thoughts away. His miko was tough; she could survive a few minutes without him, even against Naraku. I’m coming, Kagome. Wait for me!

* * *

Kagome woke with a start, roused by the disturbing sensation of some outside force rooting around inside her chest. Not physically, but proverbially; her emotional heart was being scanned. It was an intensely creepy feeling, and she struggled to resist. But her attempts to drive the invader back out of her body proved futile.

“Kukuku, so you’ve regained consciousness, eh?”

It was not Naraku’s voice, Kagome was shocked to discover. It was much too high-pitched to belong to the dark hanyou, though it carried the same sadistic cruelty. Her first thought was to summon her spiritual energy, but she found that she could not reach down deep within herself to draw upon the source of her power, as she always did. A foreign energy surrounded her, pressing against her mental defenses, but was thus far unable to penetrate them. Still, the nauseating perusal of her heart continued.

“Where is it?” the voice asked, sounding confused and mildly concerned. “Where is the darkness?”

Kagome felt the strange power recede slightly, and managed to open her eyes. The first thing she glimpsed was Kagura standing over her. That’s right…I was fighting alongside Inuyasha, then Kagura attacked me. She must have knocked me out. The throbbing pain in her temple would support such an assumption. Inuyasha! Where is he? What happened to him?

“Inuyasha won’t be coming. He is dead.”

Kagome gasped, the shock of hearing such a statement causing her to lose her concentration for a moment. But she recovered in time to prevent the evil energy from gaining too much ground. Could Inuyasha really be…dead? Her heart rebelled at the thought, her strong faith in her hanyou filling her with conviction.

“I don’t…I don’t believe you!” she declared. “He’s coming to save me!”

For a moment she thought she was going to win, to defeat this depraved infant currently nestled against her chest. But he redoubled his efforts, and managed to maintain his hold over her. Her arms remained immobile, unable to fling Naraku’s latest incarnation away and end her torment.

“Kukuku, you are a stubborn one, aren’t you? Very well, then. You are correct; Inuyasha is indeed alive. He is probably on his way to rescue you at this very moment. But you and I have plenty of time before he arrives. Every human holds darkness in their hearts, and soon I will find yours.”

Kagome grimaced as the examination of her inner being intensified. Darkness? Do I have darkness in my heart? She willed the answer to be in the negative. But she had a sinking feeling that her heart was not as free of sadness and despair as she would like it to be. “I can’t abandon Kikyou. I need to know for sure whether she’s alive or not. Otherwise, I won’t be able to move forward.”

“Found it,” the infant declared smugly, just before all the air whooshed out of Kagome’s lungs. She struggled to breathe, suffocated by the invisible hand which had reached down deep inside her and latched onto something, something she tried to keep hidden. Finally she was able to inhale, but the pressure on her mind almost overpowered her. It took all of her strength to maintain her awareness of self, her will to resist.

“Why do you fight me, girl? I’ve grasped the darkness in your heart; there is no escape. Surrender to me, and I will end your suffering.”

Kagome was sorely tempted to accept that offer and fall into oblivion. She was tired, so very tired. Of having her heart broken, of watching Inuyasha leave to go to Kikyou, of constantly feeling like she was second best.

“That’s it, Kagome. Just let go. Inuyasha has chosen Kikyou over you; you owe him nothing. It is okay to bear a grudge against Inuyasha, to hate Kikyou, even to take joy in her death. I know you hold all of those things in your heart, and you have every right. Embrace them, and fill your heart with hatred.”

His words were so comforting, so seductive. No one had ever assured her so convincingly that her darkest, most shameful emotions were acceptable, even right. I bear a grudge against Inuyasha? I hate Kikyou? She did, on both counts. Deep down, with those terrible feelings that she tried to keep buried. But she knew that she had honestly wished for Kikyou’s death before. Her words to Kouga came back to her. “You actually had Inuyasha’s life in your hands, and you chose to save him. I like to believe that if I ever have Kikyou’s life in my hands, I’ll do the same. I hope I can be as strong as you, if I ever face the same temptation.”

That was a strange contradiction–she could hate Kikyou and actively wish for her death, while at the same time hoping that she could find the strength of character to save her if the opportunity ever arose. What the hell kind of twisted morality was that? It made no sense, and yet, that was how she felt. The realization actually buoyed her spirits. She was not a terrible person simply for wishing that Kikyou was gone. Those thoughts were not who she was, and she would never let them define her. Most of all, she wanted Inuyasha to be happy. In that moment, she focused on her beloved hanyou, letting her feelings for him flow through her being. And slowly, the darkness began to recede.

“You’re wrong,” she ground out, the power of her voice growing with every syllable. “Those feelings…those are feelings anyone would have. The main thing is…I love Inuyasha!”

“And he will never love you back!”

The infant’s desperately uttered words shot straight to her heart, preventing her from driving him out completely. Seeing his chance, he immediately went on the offensive again.

“You want to make him choose, don’t you, Kagome? Just yesterday, you almost refused his request. But in the end, you didn’t dare. Because you know who he’ll choose if you force him to decide between you and Kikyou.”

She did know, she reflected sadly. It was one of the primary reasons why she had agreed to accompany him to search for Kikyou. For her, it had never been a decision of whether or not to give Inuyasha an ultimatum. The only possible options were to remain by his side despite his overriding commitment to the dead miko…or to leave and never return. As long as there was a possibility that Kikyou was alive, Inuyasha would always choose her.

“That’s right, Kagome,” the infant soothed, reading her thoughts. “Even if Kikyou is dead, she will always be first in his heart. And what if I were to tell you that Kikyou is indeed alive?”

“How…do you know?” Kagome asked weakly, her voice trembling.

“Because I am smarter than Naraku. Only a fool would believe that one such as Kikyou would perish from falling into miasma. She is out there, somewhere. And as a result, Inuyasha will never stop looking for her.”

Kagome imagined what it would be like, to be stuck in her emotional limbo for months or even years, only to go back to square one when Inuyasha finally did find Kikyou again. It reminded her of a dark truth which she preferred not to think about, but which Inuyasha himself had laid out so clearly for her in the midst of a tender moment. “Kikyou…will have to wait. If she hasn’t found peace and released me by the time our child is an adult, then I’ll go with her. But not before.” In other words, no matter what transpired between her and Inuyasha, even if their love flourished and bloomed like sakura blossoms in springtime, Inuyasha would always give Kikyou priority. All the dead miko had to do was wait for their child to be grown, then demand that he accompany her to hell. And he would be gone. Kagome had always tried to focus on the positive aspects of Inuyasha’s promise to her, but in this moment, she could think only of the heartbreak which awaited her at the end of their time together.

“Face it, Kagome. Inuyasha is playing you for a fool. If he’d wanted to get rid of Kikyou, he could’ve told her that he seduced you and didn’t want her anymore. But he didn’t do that, did he? Instead, he told Kikyou the truth, that your pregnancy is an accident and that he doesn’t love you in any way.”

‘He’s twisting your memories,’ a small voice whispered in her head. ‘None of this is fair to Inuyasha. Don’t forget that he cares for you.’ But the infant smashed these pathetic reassurances down before they could even begin to lift her from the pit of despair she found herself sinking into.

“He does care for you, Kagome, but it will never be the way you hope. He’ll kiss you, but it will never mean anything. He’ll even fuck you if you let him, but he’ll go to Kikyou just the same. You’ll rent his body for a time, but his heart will always belong to her. You’ll raise his child, but in the end, you’ll be nothing more to him than a glorified hole to stick his cock into. And when he leaves, you’ll be used goods, and nobody, not even your brat, will want you anymore. You’ll be all alone in the world, with only yourself to blame. Surrender to me, and I can spare you from that. I’ll give you the peace you deserve.”

The seductive power pressed in on her, taking away the heartache, the hurt which she associated with the name ‘Inuyasha.’ But she was not quite ready to give in yet.

“B-but,” she choked, in a last-ditch effort to save herself. “I love him.” This time, her declaration had no effect whatsoever.

“Yes, but he does not love you. You have always been, and will always be, second best.”

She felt her tattered defenses start to give, but no longer possessed the will to fight. It had been taken from her, by Naraku’s infant obviously, but also by the actions of the man she loved. She thought she heard his voice, calling her name from far away, his despairing tone pulling on her heartstrings. But the darkness was too powerful now, and her feeble efforts to reach him proved futile. I’m sorry, Inuyasha, was her final thought before her consciousness faded to black.


A/N – Ahhh…it’s nice to finally get to a plot twist that you’ve been building up to for twenty chapters. I’m sure you guys can figure out what happened. The ‘darkness in Kagome’s heart’ grew more pervasive due to the events of the story, she and Inuyasha growing closer without him really committing to her. In canon, their relationship had not developed as much, so Kagome could rally around her love for Inuyasha without succumbing to the negative emotions associated with his continued commitment to Kikyou.