InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bound For Tomorrow: Sesshomaru and Rin ❯ Explanations ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

The unexpected reaction his mother had given him to his request continued to bother the taiyoukai.
His musings eventually led him to what he considered to be a reasonable explanation.
This would be added to the list, no doubt. The running list of reasons she has in her head why he is both a disappointment and a failure, and, most grating to him of all, an object of pity.
Yes, her softened demeanor came not from love, but from pity… he is sure of it. The look in her eyes spoke volumes, and at the time, it was not his concern, but now that he has had time to think on it… he knows.
He knows that she knew that handing him what was needed for the girl, was also necessary for her own well-being, the well being of her son, and the well-being of the Western Lands, and she is, above all, a ruler.
She knows… as does he, that Rin is the only woman, human, demon or otherwise, who would have him. Beggars cannot be choosers, and Sesshomaru, for all his beauty, power and status, is so lacking in…anything else… that the only affections he garners are from youkai trash like the wind witch, (a weak off-shoot of an even lower creature, a created hanyou), and the wraith of a confused mortal woman who not only plays a flute, but also obviously borders on the mentally deranged.
She knows that Rin is, at least, a decent soul, who, Kami-sama knew why, but who, DOES love her son.
After witnessing her only child fail, yet again, on two accounts, (the first being the protection of the mortal girl-child, and the second being his inability to pull himself together after his initial failure), she knew that it would once again fall to her to clean up the nesses of her teenaged, (by demon standards), son, and return the only thing he'd seemed to deem worthy of his affections - the girl - to life.
She could not allow him to fail in the protection of that girl again… if that were to happen, and he were to become distracted while defending the castle, the lands, or himself, well… it could allow the opportunity for history to repeat itself, and she would not let that happen.
She would not lose the last male (save the wretched hanyou), in her ruling line, because he chose to sacrifice himself for a single mortal woman, or went insane, because she eventually died of old age.
She was a ruler, and practical to a fault.
Her son would not give up the girl, and so, it was up to her to make sure that the girl remain safe, and alive, so that her son would remain so as well.
When humans refer to youkai as `unfeeling', they are completely inaccurate in the statement.
While it may appear to outsiders that they feel nothing, the truth is that youkai feel everything, very deeply.
When a creature's emotions are as strong as a youkai's, and the being is as powerful as a youkai, such a creature must simply be extremely selective in the things they choose to have feelings over.
When a youkai feels hate, he feels it completely, down to his very bones, when a youkai feels anger, nothing can stop the tidal wave of destruction until the source of such anger is obliterated. When a youkai holds a grudge, he will never let it go… and… when a youkai loves… he does it with everything he is… and he does it forever.
To have such strong emotions, one must be careful who they allow to have influence over those emotions…
Rarely do youkai allow themselves the indulgence of true emotions.
And almost never do they love.
Not because they can't love, but because of the extent to which they can.
It was clear to her now…
Sesshomaru loved Rin.