InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Chronicles ❯ Bad Ideas ( Chapter 76 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” InuYasha asked for the hundredth time as the four of them approached Sesshoumaru's front door. “I can't see why we need to do this . . . what the hell is a bachelor party?”
Kagome grinned. “You'll have fun,” she assured him. “Just behave, okay?”
“Keh! I'm not a pup, you know,” he snorted haughtily.
Stopping to straighten his white dress shirt over his shoulders, Kagome leaned up to kiss his cheek. His face reddened just a little but he didn't pull away. “I'm sure that Nibori will be kind. He knows neither of you are familiar with this era, and watch your temper, okay?”
He frowned. “If you'd have let me bring Tetsusaiga—”
She sighed. “You can't go running all over Tokyo with a sword strapped to your waist . . . .”
Miroku stared dubiously at the mansion. “I think I'm with InuYasha on this . . . this may be a very bad idea . . . .”
“I'm surprised you'd think so. Guys normally have a lot of fun at their bachelor parties—or so I've been told,” Kagome remarked. Sango shifted nervously from one foot to the other, tugging at the too-short skirt that Kagome had coaxed her into wearing. Though it was longer than most of Kagome's other ones, the skirt wasn't nearly as long as the one Sango normally wore. Kagome smiled as her friend fidgeted.
“And what goes on at this party you're going to?” InuYasha asked, suspicion lighting his amber eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest in his normal `don't-you-dare-mess-with-me' stance.
Kagome wrinkled her nose. “Not much, really. Just presents, chocolate, gossip . . . that sort of thing.”
The front door opened and Nibori stepped back to invite them inside. “Welcome! Father will be ready in a minute, then we can go.”
“Father?” InuYasha bit out. “Sesshoumaru's coming?”
Nibori made a face. “That was pretty much the same response I got from him, but it was either he comes with us or he stays here at the bachelorette party . . . .”
“This can't be good,” Miroku muttered as he followed the others into the mansion.
Kagome had to agree. “Maybe you guys out to swing past the shrine and pick up Tetsusaiga . . . .”
Nibori nodded slowly. He'd obviously been told at one point or another that Tetsusaiga kept InuYasha's youkai blood in check. “Certainly.”
InuYasha was giving Leikizu the third degree about the happenings planned for the bachelorette party. Kagome leaned closer to Nibori. “Who else is going to be at this bachelor party?”
Nibori shrugged. “Just a few old friends. I'm sure everyone will be fine.”
Kagome wasn't sure she liked the way Nibori seemed to avoid a direct answer to her question. She sighed. `Old friends? Youkai, then . . . . But who?'
The doorbell rang, and Kagome jumped. Nibori chuckled as he opened to door to admit the guest. Kagome stared at the couple, feeling as though she really ought to know them. She looked so familiar, her light lavender-on-silver hair and piercing purple eyes reminded her of . . . “Shiori?”
The bat hanyou grinned and hugged Kagome as the man behind her shifted a little uncomfortably. “You've met my mate, right? He speaks so highly of you . . . and InuYasha, too.” Shiori moved over to greet InuYasha and the others as Kagome turned to stare at Shiori's mate, who was holding a stack of bags and boxes. Nibori took the festively wrapped gifts and disappeared into the living room.
Incredibly tall with kind blue eyes the color of the sky, his dark brown hair was caught back in a neat queue at the nape of his neck, and when he saw her, he smiled bashfully. “Hello, Kagome.”
“I know you,” she said slowly, leaning her head to the side as InuYasha stepped up beside her.
“Jinenji?” InuYasha remarked with obvious surprise. “You and Shiori, huh?”
Jinenji nodded. “Amazing, isn't it?”
“Not at all,” Kagome said before InuYasha could stick his foot in his mouth. “I always knew you had a good heart. I'm sure that Shiori saw it, too.”
Sesshoumaru descended the winding marble staircase wearing a dour expression and an impeccably tailored black Armani suit. “Shall we before I change my mind?” he asked after bestowing a chaste kiss on Leikizu's cheek.
InuYasha looked like he wanted to argue. Miroku propelled him forward with a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, InuYasha. It'll be painless.”
“For me, maybe. Can't promise it won't be for him.”
Nibori stepped onto the porch. “Father, Aunt Kagome asked that we stop by the shrine to pick up Tetsusaiga.”
Sesshoumaru flicked his cold gaze over his half-brother. “Forget that you needed it, baka?”
“Not hardly, bastard.”
“Behave yourselves, ladies,” Nibori said with a low bow. “Gentlemen?”
The door closed behind them. Kagome shook her head at the last look InuYasha had shot her. As though he was heading out to his own funeral, he looked like he wanted to grab her and run. Turning around to see Sango's reluctant expression, Kagome could only sigh and giggle. “Is anyone else coming?”
Leikizu nodded as she led the women into the living room. “Ayame is coming, and I think she's bringing her daughters.”
“How many daughters?” Kagome asked.
Shiori giggled. “Ten.”
Kagome gasped. “Ten? How many sons?”
Leikizu rolled her eyes. “One.”
“If Ayame is coming, does that mean . . . ?” Sango began slowly.
Kagome stifled a groan. “Let's hope they remember to pick up Tetsusaiga,” she said with a rueful grin. “Then again . . . maybe not . . . .”
InuYasha wrinkled his nose at the pungent aromas wafting through the dimly lit club. hand on Tetsusaiga's hilt as though to action lent him a measure of comfort, he glanced around with a scowl as they were greeted by a very scantily clad woman and led to a very large table near the back of the huge room. The pounding music was enough to make his head hurt, and InuYasha had to wonder just how the other youkai could stand it at all. Within moments, he was ready to whine from the pain in his skull. The others seemed completely unaffected.
InuYasha stifled a growl at the sound of that voice. “Kouga's here?” he snarled to himself.
Nibori chuckled. “Well, of course! When I mentioned the bachelor party, he insisted that he come, too. Do you not care for him, Uncle?”
InuYasha didn't deign to answer and contented himself with stabbing his nephew with a glare for his troubles.
“If it isn't dog-shit! How've you been, mutt-face?”
“Fucking hell, you're not dead?” InuYasha asked with a snort.
“Not hardly. This is my son, Daichi. Daichi, meet dog-shit.”
Daichi looked confused at the introduction, and he glanced nervously from his father to InuYasha and back. Finally giving up trying to make sense of the odd undertones in the conversation, Daichi bowed slightly and excused himself to introduce himself to Miroku instead.
Miroku leaned over toward InuYasha. “This doesn't seem so bad.”
InuYasha wasn't inclined to agree. “Keh.”
Sesshoumaru looked like the entire affair bored him out of his mind. InuYasha had to agree with him there. He could think of a million things he'd rather be doing, like battling Naraku all over again . . . .
InuYasha flattened his ears against his head, wishing that he could block the noise that drilled through his skull. Another scantily clad woman stopped beside him. “What'll you have?” she asked with a fake smile. Heavily perfumed to the point that InuYasha wanted to cover his face, he stared in disbelief at the pasty white face, the false-looking red lips, and the dirty eyes that looked like the wench had been rolling around in fireplace ashes.
“Sake,” Nibori answered when InuYasha didn't answer. “For everyone.”
“Brandy for me,” Sesshoumaru interrupted with a flick of his claws.
She nodded and skulked away. InuYasha covered his nose as she retreated. “This place reeks,” he grumbled.
“Oh, kami,” Miroku muttered as he smacked InuYasha's arm with his knuckles. InuYasha glanced up. Miroku was staring away from the table with his mouth hanging slightly open and a light flush creeping up his cheeks. Against his better judgment, InuYasha followed the monk's gaze.
“What the . . . hell . . . ?” InuYasha choked in disbelief. A woman was dancing—or seemed to be dancing—around a raised floor around a pole that extended to ceiling, gyrating her body in a vastly disturbing way. Removing her clothes as she pranced around, InuYasha quickly looked away as he shot out of his chair, grabbing Miroku by the back of his shirt despite the monk's protests, and stomped toward the door as his face was enveloped in a furious blush.
“Oh, InuYasha! What are you doing here?”
He stopped short as he nearly ran down the old swordsmith. “Totosai? What are you doing here?”
Totosai scratched his nearly bald head. “I don't remember . . . Oh . . . the girls! I'm here to see those dancing girls. They're pretty . . . .”
Controlling the desire to thump the old man, InuYasha growled. “The dancing girls?” he repeated incredulously.
“Master Totosai! You did make it!” Nibori greeted as he stepped up behind InuYasha.
Totosai headed over to the table as InuYasha pinned his nephew with a glower. “What the fuck do you think you're doing? Miroku's already perverted enough. You think this was a good idea, did you?” InuYasha demanded.
Nibori chuckled. “It's all in good fun, Uncle, I swear. Now come back to the table. I'll even buy you both lap dances.”
InuYasha's gaze narrowed even more. “What?”
Nibori's grin widened. “You'll see . . . .”
Sango cast Kagome a scared glance as she hesitantly ripped the paper off the first box Leikizu handed her. “This is from Shiori and Jinenji.”
A look of utter confusion surfaced on Sango's face as she stared at the contents of the box. She pulled it out slowly, eyes widening as she held up the white satin teddy. A dark flush washed over her pale skin, and she dropped the lingerie with a sharp gasp.
“I can't . . . . Where would I wear something like that?” Sango asked, her voice a little faint.
Kagome giggled. “You could wear it on your wedding night. I'll bet Miroku would love it.” The other females laughed as Leikizu passed the garment around for their collective inspection.
“But how would you even put it on?” Sango asked, brow furrowing as she examined the garment just a little.
“The fun isn't putting it on, Sango. The fun's in taking it off,” one of Ayame's daughters remarked, drawing more laughter from the women.
Sango's blush deepened as she shook her head. “Oh, I couldn't . . . . I mean, thank you, Shiori, but—”
Shiori waved her hand. “You'll want that eventually, trust me.”
Leikizu plopped a gift bag on Sango's lap. “And this is from Ayame and Kouga.”
Now Sango really looked nervous. After a helpless glance at Kagome, she reached into the bag and pulled out a shrinkwrapped box. `Body Condiments,' Kagome read over Sango's shoulder. Stifling her own laughter as Sango tried to figure out what was in the box, the other women's laughter escalated. Everyone in the room knew that Sango was from five hundred years in the past. They were undoubtedly having a great time teasing her.
Giving up, Sango shot Kagome a questioning glance. Kagome leaned over to whisper in her ear. “They're edible stuff . . . you put them on him, or he puts them on you and you . . . umm . . . you know, lick it off.”
Sango gasped as the box fell off her lap onto the floor. Ayame chuckled. “I think there's more in that bag . . . .”
Kagome wondered for a moment whether or not Sango would have enough courage to reach into the bag again. She did, pulling out a fuzzy purple . . . something.”
Taking the ball of fluff out of Sango's hands, Kagome untangled the knot of it and held them up for Sango's inspection. “Wow, Sango . . . crotchless panties?”
“Don't forget the matching bra,” another of Ayame's daughters piped up.
“Crotchless . . . ?” Sango repeated. Finally realizing what the women meant, Sango started coughing wildly.
Leikizu chuckled. “Oh, here's one for Kagome, from Shiori and Jinenji.”
“Me?” Kagome asked as Leikizu handed her a box. “But—”
“You didn't get a bachelorette party! What was InuYasha thinking?” Ayame asked with a wink.
“He didn't know, and—”
“Open it!” Shiori insisted as she clapped her hands in anticipation.
Sango looked noticeably relieved as Kagome hesitated, opening the gift in her lap. Tearing away the paper and opening the garment box, Kagome felt her entire face flush as she stared at the crimson stretch lace catsuit. “Uhh . . . .”
Shiori giggled. “Well, you know, dogs love to chase cats . . . .”
The other women laughed as Kagome fanned her flaming face with a limp hand. Leikizu dropped a bag that looked suspiciously similar to the one that Sango had gotten from Kouga and Ayame into her lap. She got a box, too, but hers said, '10 Games for Lovers'. Kagome wasn't sure what to think of that, but she grinned as she pulled out a pair of regular cotton bikini panties with a matching bra. Dancing over the red fabric were little white dogs. `Maybe InuYasha won't shred this set,' she thought with a secretive smile.
They opened more gifts, each one drawing the desired embarrassment from the recipients. Ayame and Kouga's ten daughters, though they'd never met, seemed to have heard a lot about Kagome in particular, and did seem to know about Sango, too. That stinker, Nibori had given her a huge bathing kit, complete with unscented everything, which would actually be nice for InuYasha and his overly-sensitive nose. By the time Leikizu dropped one last box into Kagome's lap, she was really, really afraid to open it.
“This is from Sesshoumaru and me.”
With a deep breath, Kagome opened the box. Nestled in the folds of silver tissue paper was a beautiful nightgown. Made of fine cream silk, the simple sheathe-style gown would probably reach mid-thigh and was split up one side to her hip. A slightly longer matching robe, embroidered in crimson with the Inu no Taisho's seal was a beautiful compliment, and a pair of dainty little slippers completed the ensemble. “This is lovely,” Kagome said softly. “But—”
Leikizu smiled almost sadly and patted her shoulder. “That is not Sesshoumaru's seal. His seal is always in blue. InuYasha's is crimson. The mark, itself, is that of their father.”
She shook her head as she traced the embroidery. “I didn't know InuYasha had a seal.”
“InuYasha probably doesn't know he has a seal. He wasn't instructed in such things.” Taking a delicate sip of the gingerale in her glass, Leikizu's gaze seemed overly bright, as though she had tears gathering behind her eyes. “We've waited a very long time to give you this, Kagome. Wear it with pride.”
Kagome nodded. “I will.”
“You care not for the bachelor party?”
InuYasha shifted his glower to meet his brother's bored stare. “Not particularly. Am I supposed to?”
Sesshoumaru's eyebrows arched slightly, the only change in his stoic expression. “But the monk is enjoying himself,” he commented, nodding slightly toward Miroku, who was staring at the current dancer with obvious interest.
“Close your mouth, you lecher,” InuYasha growled. Miroku either didn't hear him or was ignoring him. Entranced by the beat that made InuYasha's head pound, Miroku didn't even blink an eye as the hanyou waved his hand before the monk's face. Leaning to the side without saying a word, Miroku just gawked at the woman as she twisted and writhed against that pole.
“What's the fucking point of this?” InuYasha growled as he slouched in his chair.
“It's human tradition, baka. Surely you wouldn't begrudge your friend a bit of it?”
InuYasha didn't think that deserved an answer. Totosai sat down in the empty chair between the brothers. “So, InuYasha, how's that son of yours?”
InuYasha did a double take. “My what?”
Catching the glare that Sesshoumaru directed at the swordsmith did little to dispel the feeling that there was something that someone really needed to tell him. InuYasha stared between the two as he dug his claws into the table. “Did I say son? I meant mate . . . didn't I?” Totosai hurried on to say.
“I think you've been holed up in your cave too long, Totosai,” Sesshoumaru remarked as he downed the rest of the amber liquid in his glass. “That baka barely managed to claim his mate, let alone get a son out of it.”
InuYasha opened his mouth to retort but was cut short by another loud sneer. “Oh, hell, tell me he didn't just say you finally broke down and pissed on Kagome.”
“Shut the fuck up, Kouga,” InuYasha snarled.
“So was it a good thirty seconds for you, mutt-face? Though I doubt Kagome enjoyed—”
“No,” Miroku broke in, suddenly deciding that the conversation was more interesting than the half-naked women. “She quite enjoyed it, if the scratches on InuYasha's back meant anything . . . .”
“I think I shall be ill,” Sesshoumaru commented as InuYasha turned to glower at the guest of honor.
“Can it, will you?” InuYasha hollered. “I hate all of you, I swear it! Every single one of you pisses me right off, and—”
“Hi.” All male heads turned to stare at the very well-endowed, barely dressed ebony haired woman. “Are you InuYasha?” she asked, her voice a throaty purr.
“Yeah,” InuYasha answered, suspicion crashing over him as the girl smiled through the muck of paint on her face. “Why?”
“Your nephew says to enjoy,” she said, as she sank down on his lap and started grinding her rear against him.
InuYasha shot out of his chair, unceremoniously dumping the woman on the floor. “What the fuck do you think you're doing, bitch?” he snarled. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“Relax, mutt-nuts,” Kouga drawled as the girl muttered a few very choice, very unladylike curses as she got to her feet and stomped away. “She was just giving you a lap dance.”
“I don't fucking think so,” InuYasha growled, hand gripping Tetsusaiga despite everyone's warnings against drawing the sword in public.
Kouga rolled his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. “Hell, even your friend is taking it better than you. Check out the monk.”
InuYasha's head swiveled to stare as Miroku sat with an almost comically petrified look on his face, as though he was scared to death of the wench who was doing her best to get the monk's attention. Miroku shot InuYasha a look that was very close to full-blown panic. InuYasha crossed his arms and leaned back.
“I think he wants you to rescue him, InuYasha,” Kouga leaned over to mutter.
InuYasha nodded slowly. “Too fucking bad I ain't gonna.”
The wench leaned forward, wiggling her ass in Miroku's face. InuYasha covered his mouth with his hand as the monk proceeded to turn ten shades of red. “Damn, Miroku. You skipped right over `Monk-in-Pain'-red,” InuYasha couldn't help but say as Miroku leaned as far back in his chair as he could without tipping over.
“I almost feel sorry for him,” Kouga went on, grimacing at the look on Miroku's face.
“Keh. Almost. Fucking lecher loves asses. Let him rub that one. Maybe she won't slap him for it.”
Daichi sidled up beside them as InuYasha took pity on Miroku. Leaning over to grab the wench's wrist, he glared at her. “Enough. He's getting married tomorrow, and you're finished. Now get the hell out of here.”
As soon as she was gone, Miroku shot to his feet, his face awash with instant and complete relief. InuYasha cocked his eyebrow at the monk. “A little too close?”
Miroku shrugged as he downed the contents of his glass then coughed and sputtered. “Not at all,” he croaked, wiping his eyes as the sake burned its way down into his stomach.
InuYasha snorted as he turned in time to see Kouga straighten up after saying something to Sesshoumaru. Both the wolf youkai as well as his half-brother were staring at him, and InuYasha's glare narrowed as he shifted his eyes from one to the other. “What?”
Kouga grinned. “Not a thing, dog-shit . . . .”
Sesshoumaru lifted his hand to bring a waitress to their table. “Kouga simply told me that the . . . entertainer should be arriving at the mansion any time now.”
For some reason, InuYasha didn't like the way Sesshoumaru had said that word . . . . “Entertainer?”
“What sort of entertainer?” Miroku asked, having finally gotten over his bout of sake-induced coughing.
Kouga shrugged. “Nothing worse than we've seen tonight.”
InuYasha slowly turned to meet Miroku's gaze. They stared at each other for a minute before their heads turned back to stare at Sesshoumaru and Kouga. “What do you mean, no worse than what we've . . . ? Oh, hell no,” InuYasha ground out. “Come on, monk.”
Miroku, having realized exactly what InuYasha was thinking, headed out right after InuYasha, a grim determination etched in his expression. “Right behind you.”
Behind them, Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. “Look what you've done, Kouga. Told you not to tell him. The hot-headed baka is going to go in there and pull Tetsusaiga on the man you've hired.”
Kouga grinned. “Yeah, and if we don't hurry, we'll miss the whole damn thing.”
Kagome was positive that her face was going to be red forever. Pressing her palms against her cheeks, she tried to look anywhere but at the half-naked man in the middle of the room. Gyrating to some cheesy cd he'd brought as dance music, there was no way under the sun she was going to look.
Sango's freaked-out expression as she stared at Kagome in blatant shock might have been amusing at any other time. The other women were giggling and pointing, whispering and generally enjoying the fun. Kagome wished she were anywhere but where she was.
Sango gasped and let a small scream escape her as the man stalked toward her and proceeded to shake everything he had very close to the exterminator's mortified face. Sango squeezed her eyes closed as the man jerked his rip-away pants off and draped them around Sango's neck. Sango tugged them off and tried to shove them back into the man's arms. He laughed and danced away, back toward the center of the room in nothing but a tiny little g-string pouch that barely covered anything.
“Come, now, ladies! I need someone to dance with me!” the man called out. “How about you?” he said, grabbing hold of Kagome's hands and dragging her to her feet. She tried to pull away. He laughed and caught her around her waist, grinding against her as she tried her best not to slap him silly.
Leikizu started toward them looking as though she realized that Kagome didn't find it amusing at all and probably realizing that, given InuYasha's keen nose coupled with his all-too-volatile jealous streak that the results could be dire. She never made it there. The front door crashed open, and Kagome froze with a muffled groan at the bellowed, “Oi, wench, damn it, where the fuck are you?”
Seconds later, he stalked into the living room. Seeing Kagome with the dancer's arms still on her waist, the hanyou didn't bother asking questions. Tetsusaiga blazed to life in a flash of sapphire light, and he advanced on the dancer who was backing away, dragging Kagome with him. Miroku ran into the living room seconds later. Kagome jerked away from the man and ran over to InuYasha. “InuYasha, it wasn't—”
“Shut up, wench,” he growled. “What the hell do you think you were doing with your fucking hands on my mate?” he snarled as he prowled closer to the terrified man. “Give me one good reason not to shove Tetsusaiga up your ass.”
“InuYasha, he's human!” Miroku called out from behind them. Sango was standing next to him, having obviously explained things to him.
“Like I give a fuck,” InuYasha shot back.
`I've got to do something!' Kagome thought wildly. The look on InuYasha's face told her quite plainly that he was dead serious. `But he can't go around killing everyone that touches me, either, and he didn't really try to hurt me . . . . Think, Kagome!' She could purify him. She winced. She didn't really want to do that, at all. But what else could she do?
As if from somewhere far away, Kagome could hear the other women trying to talk InuYasha into putting away his sword to let the man leave. He wasn't listening. Closer and closer, he lifted the sword to strike as the poor dancer cowered in the corner, left with no way of escaping. She could hear the man begging InuYasha to let him live, and Kagome, in a last ditch effort to stop InuYasha, ran in front of him and grabbed his face in her hands. “Kagome, get the hell out of the way,” he demanded as she pulled his head down and rose up on her tiptoes to kiss him.
For a moment, he tried to pull away from her. She deepened the kiss when she felt his arms let the sword drop slightly. She could hear muffled movement as the man got out of the house as quickly as he could. InuYasha held Tetsusaiga with one hand while his other arm slipped around her waist, drawing her closer as she kissed him.
“All right, miko, you've done your good deed for the day,” Sesshoumaru remarked dryly.
InuYasha, realizing where they were and who all had witnessed their kiss, flushed as he turned to glower at his brother. “Damn it,” he snarled, “you let that bastard get away.”
Kagome was relieved to see that everyone else had been taken to the dining room for refreshments.
“You've got serious impulse control issues, mutt-face,” Kouga remarked. “Maybe you ought to consider therapy.”
“Damn you, Kouga! you did this, didn't you? Did you think I'd be thankful?”
“No, but I thought Kagome and Sango might be.” That said, Kouga stalked out of the room to find his mate.
“Keh! Fat fucking chance, bastard.” InuYasha turned back to glare at Kagome. “Why the hell did you let him go?”
“Because he didn't do anything except what he was paid to do, and—”
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. “Yes, and I'll have to pay him an absolutely exorbitant amount of money to keep him from filing charges with the police, I'd wager.”
Dropping Tetsusaiga into the scabbard, InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Like I care how much you have to pay the bastard! He had his fucking hands all over—”
“That's always been your problem, hasn't it, baka? You've never cared, not when it could have mattered, not when you could have done something to change your pathetic destiny!” Sesshoumaru pinned InuYasha with an irate glare. “You leave it to everyone else, to fix your mistakes. I've fixed all I can, InuYasha. The rest is up to you.”
InuYasha stared at his brother's retreating form with a confused yet wary expression.
Kagome frowned, just as confused by Sesshoumaru's outburst as InuYasha was. “What do you think he meant?”
He shook his head slowly. “I don't know,” he answered, his tone soft, thoughtful. “But I intend to find out.”
DAICHI: "grand first son"
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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Chronicles): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.