InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dead Famous ❯ Pre-Battle Jitters ( Chapter 19 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes: About that Inuyasha age thing… I think it's true. But bear in mind that this is a very recent thing which would only apply to the manga (since Takahashi has no real control over the anime now). Since the anime was made quite a while ago with only Rumiko's guidance of 'he has the mind of a seventeen year old' so naturally the anime seems to feature an older Inuyasha. Strangely enough, I can see him being fifteen in the manga (if you've seen some of the pictures with his shirt off, you'll know what I mean, doesn't anyone feed the poor lad?). Besides, fifteen is only his age in human years equivalent. He seems to be mentally around seventeen, but he's actually over sixty years old, though the theoretical human age would be fifteen.

Which means he isn't actually fifteen.


Well even more confusing, Sesshomaru's 'official' human age is nineteen (which is Miroku's age as well if memory serves me right), another one who's younger than he looks. Though we all know for a fact that he's well over fifty years old (seeing as how he lived all the way through Inuyasha's entrapment) and in the anime he appears to be at least in his early twenties (his voice seems slightly too old to be something-teen).

But to save all our sanity and our fangirls from worrying about cradle snatching; I think it's safe to say that anime Inuyasha is at least seventeen. However Rumiko Takahashi's manga Inuyasha seems to be around fifteen (though she says he's mentally two years more mature).

Dead Famous

Chapter 19

Pre-Battle Jitters…

"Dammit!" Miroku smashed his fists down hard on his table.

Inuyasha paused his push-ups to look across the gym. Miroku had dissolved into a helpless heap in front of the computer, arms clamped over his head which lay on the desk in despair. He knew he probably shouldn't pursue the matter, but he did anyway. "What's the matter with you?"

"Sango…" Miroku said brokenly, his voice muffled by the table surface.

Inuyasha frowned slightly as he got back on his feet and grabbed a towel to rest around his shoulders. "Let me guess… you finally told her how you feel about her and she blew you off in favour of…" his gaze turned out the window to the pool area where Sesshomaru, Kikyo and Sango were conversing. Sango was smiling. "… my brother?"

"No!" Miroku sat up suddenly and pointed to a socket in the computer. "She took away my Internet access! Now I can't get back onto that European Lesbian chat room!"

"Oh woe is you." Inuyasha said flatly.

Miroku glared at him. "You have no idea how cruel this is, do you! You don't know what it's like to have something you really want snatched away from you and be unable to get it back."

"Hello?" Inuyasha gave him a 'duh' look. "I quit smoking last Sunday!"

"So?!" Miroku shot back, the withdrawal symptoms were already etching stress into his face. "At least you can take it back up whenever you like!"

"Do you see any smokes around… here…" he trailed off blankly as Miroku reached into his jacket pocket and produced a shiny, shrink wrapped packet of silk cut Melbourne… "Oh… you organised this didn't you?"

"Face it." Miroku said, clasping the packet between his thumb and forefinger. "You can take one of these cigarettes now if you really wished. Me, however, cannot connect to the Internet until Sango gives me back my cable - which she won't do for at least another fortnight."

Inuyasha scowled hard at him. "You think I'm so weak don't you? Just because you wave a packet of cigarettes under my nose you think I won't be able to resist temptation!"

Miroku stared at him silently while Inuyasha just stared back irritably with his arms folded. His claws were beginning to rap impatiently against his upper arm as his glare switched to the packet of cigarettes.

The glare began to lose its integrity until he realised he was just staring at it with complete longing…

"You were saying?" Miroku quirked an eyebrow up.

"Give me that!" Inuyasha snatched the box from him. "I'll prove to you - I can smoke one of these right now and not feel even the slightest urge to do it ever again! I do not have an addictive personality you know."

Miroku smirked smugly as Inuyasha hastily ripped the plastic wrapper off the packet. "So says your drinking, drugging and compulsively violent behaviour when-"

"Shut up." Inuyasha jammed one of the cigarettes between his lips and tossed away the rest of the box. "Give me your lighter."

Miroku handed it over without qualm.

The light clicked repeatedly as Inuyasha tried to spark it. Miroku didn't use it very much and he'd had it for a very long time, so naturally this was going to take quite a bit of patience. Something Inuyasha was running short on.

The door lurched open and slammed against the wall, making both men jump.

Kagome stood in the frame, clothes wrinkled and hair favouring the more 'matted' style that morning. Her keen glare snapped on Inuyasha. "You…" she grated out slowly in a venomous tone. "What the hell did you do?!"

How the hell did she know?! Inuyasha quickly knocked the cigarette out of his mouth and contrived to look innocent. Pity his voice cracked slightly when he said. "Nothing."

Miroku was discreetly inching backwards out of the line of fire as Kagome stormed further into the room, her sights only set on Inuyasha. "You have got a lot to answer for…" she continued, stalking him evenly as he anxiously slipped away, trying to put tables and apparatus between them. "I woke up in bed this morning to find myself completely dressed in different clothes than yesterday, yet strangely seem to be wearing the same underwear. Not only that but I feel like I have the flu - my head hurts and my joints are sore and my tongue feels furry and my mouth tastes bad."

"Oh!" Inuyasha suddenly realised. "You're mad about getting drunk!"

"WHAT ELSE WAS THERE?!" she yelled cornering him with only the treadmill to separate them.

"Well there was me just about to smo… nevermind." It was better to try and not antagonise her any more than necessary. But maybe a little antagonising was called for in his defence. "For the record - getting drunk was your own fault!"

"Why was I even in a position to get drunk in the first place, huh?!" she circled around the treadmill. Inuyasha quickly moved in the opposite direction to keep the distance. "Because you took my to a party and abandoned me!"

"Did I tell you to get drunk?!" he snapped back.

"You should have told me that every drink in the damn house was alcoholic! I thought I was drinking grape fruit juice!" she shouted.

"Damn, I liked you better when you were drunk." He griped, then noticed Miroku was making a speedy getaway through the door. "Where are you going?!"

"I, uh… heard Sango call me." Miroku said lamely before ducking out of sight through the door completely.

Just me and you then… Inuyasha thought as he watched the hot-tempered girl opposite him. "What are you so mad about? So what you got a little drunk? It happens to everyone at least once in their life."

"I'm fifteen!" She hissed. "I'm underage!"

"So?" he challenged.

"I don't want to be getting liver-transplants when I'm thirty!" Kagome snapped.

"You're overreacting!" he snapped. "You're not mad about that."

"You're right." She said snippily. "I'm mad that I can't remember most of what happened last night. What if I did something I'll regret?!"

"Well then thank god you don't remember it." Inuyasha shrugged tensely.

She gasped in exasperation. "What happened last night - tell me what I did!"

Inuyasha weighed that request. Should he tell her? Maybe it was best to lie and say that she'd just passed out after the first drink and had done nothing for the rest of the evening. But… Kagome was smart, she'd suspect anything he told her. So he told the truth. "You got drunk. You stripped down to your underwear and was dancing around on the table to one of Christina Aguilera's songs. What's the matter, you've gone awfully pale."

She swallowed hard, staring at him with a wide eyes. "I didn't… did I?"

Inuyasha grimaced and nodded. He couldn't help but grin a little at her expense. "Actually, you're quite a funny drunk. You should get your hands on Tequila more often."

She stomped her foot, not pleased with that suggestion. "Why did you let that happen?!" she ranted. "Why didn't you stop me?!"

"Because I wasn't around… but when I found you I took you straight home." He said firmly.

"Was that before or after you took advantage of me?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"During - no! Never!" Oops.

Kagome seemed to bristle like a cat that had been given a bath. She did not look happy. She folded her arms tightly across her chest. "And another thing." She breathed murderously. "How come I seem to remember sleeping in the bathroom with a couple of towels and a blanket from someone's bed? Yet when I woke up, there were no towels in my bathroom and my bed cover was still on my bed."

Inuyasha looked away.

"Just whose bathroom did I sleep in?" she demanded.

Inuyasha folded his arms, mirroring her stance. "Mine." He said simply. He saw her about to erupt into another fit of shouting, and so cut her off before she could get started. "But before you start yelling at me again - let me tell you that it was for your own good!"

She scoffed in outrage. "Why would that be?!"

"Because you were drunk." He said in an obvious, degrading way. "You were pissed out of your tiny little female mind, and you were threatening to throw up."

"Oh." She gave him a hard look. "So you stationed me near your bog so that I wouldn't throw-up on your carpet?"

"No." he narrowed his eyes. "It was so that if you threw up in the middle of the night, then at least I can keep an eye on you. People can die if they're left on their own after a bad binge. I would have put you in your own bed from the beginning, but I can't see through walls to make sure that you're not choking on your vomit."

Well that was kinda gross. Kagome didn't like that idea one bit… but something else bothered her. Had he actually cared at all about her welfare last night. "So… you were looking out for me?" she asked quietly, uncertain.

He shrugged. "I'm not a complete bastard. Even I have my limits."

She was still mad… after all, because of him she wasn't feeling at all well that morning. She probably looked five times worse than she felt as well. She looked down and noticed for the first time how wrinkled and untidy her dress sense was, and even without putting her hands on her head, she knew that her hair was unspeakably Attila-the-Hun-ish.

Kagome glanced back up at Inuyasha to see him watching her with just as much uncertainty. He seemed to be waiting for her next reason for why he was asshole. Fortunately for him, she had no more accusations to throw at him. The fact that he'd actually bothered to look after her last night had stunned her… she couldn't bring herself to shout at him anymore.

"Well?" he said suddenly.

"Well what?" she mumbled with a shrug.

"Where's the rest of your Spanish inquisition?"

She rolled her eyes faintly. "Don't be so cynical." She admonished.

Hurried footsteps sounded behind them and they glanced towards the gym doorway in time to see Sango arrived. "We're leaving, come on!" With that she scampered away just as quickly as she'd arrived.

They both acknowledged her announcement, but neither of them moved… until Kagome crouched down and picked up the cigarette that Inuyasha had dropped earlier. She rose with a faint frown. "You know, you shouldn't be doing these things… I thought you quit."

"Momentary lapse of reason." He shrugged, running his gaze over her. "And likewise, you shouldn't be leaving your room without looking in the mirror."

She blinked at him. "What?"

He moved closer to her until he was stood right before her. She almost edged back nervously, wondering what the hell he was trying to pull this time. His hands moved up towards her head and for one insane moment she thought he was going to kiss her…

But all Inuyasha did was comb his fingers through her hair, untangling it in a few strokes and arranging it around her shoulders in the critical way a hair stylist used. He dropped his hands and smiled. "There we are. Much better."

She had no idea if that smile was genuine or not. But she was stumped. "Uh…" she managed intelligently. "Uh… I think, we better get going then."

"I think you're right." He nodded and moved past her, leaving her to either follow or get left behind.

She got left behind.

Kagome stared after him in complete confusion, touching a hand to her significantly neater hair. "Weird…" she breathed to herself before gathering her wits and trotting after him before their ride to the sports arena left without her all together.


"Hurry up in there!" Inuyasha hissed quietly, pacing up and down the length of the men's room toilet.

Sesshomaru's patient sigh could be heard from in one of the stalls. "Inuyasha. Would you prefer to do it yourself if you're in such a hurry?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, knowing perfectly well that his brother was being sarcastic. A drugs test was still impossible for him to pass. It took much more than a week for the traces of the drug to completely disappear from his system, even though the effects had long since been unnoticeable.

The stall door opened and Sesshomaru stepped out, holding out the urine sample with an expression of mild distaste. "There. Do what you want with it."

"The possibilities of what I could do with this are mind-boggling." Inuyasha said dryly as he accepted the plastic container. "Wait in here till the coast is clear." He reminded Sesshomaru who rolled his eyes heavenward and went back in his stall to brood. Inuyasha left him to his own devices and exited the bathroom.

Two members of staff were waiting just outside the door. "The sample?" one of them prompted with his hand held out.

Inuyasha handed it over, as routine as ever.

"Thank you, sir, good luck."

Good luck with the fight or good luck with the test?

Inuyasha headed back to his changing room where he found the rest of his mini entourage hanging out. Kagome was happily bantering away with Sango, cooing over a triplet each. The third triplet was plaiting Kagome's hair. Miroku and Kikyo were engaged in what looked like a deep conversation.

"Everything ok?" Miroku asked when he noticed Inuyasha's arrival.

"Fine." Inuyasha shrugged. "Nothing to suspect."

Kikyo stepped away from the others with his duffel bag. "Go have a shower and get ready. The fight starts in half an hour."

"You're opponent is Mr Meatball." Miroku added.

"Oh god…" Inuyasha almost felt physically sick. "That thing is not a man - it's a sumo wrestling meatball who seems to delight in falling on me… after going without a shower for three months."

"He's calling himself Peach Man now, didn't you know." Sango called over from where she was playing snap with a triplet.

"Peach man?" Inuyasha echoed.

They all shrugged at him, not really knowing what it meant either.

"Well… I better go take that shower." Inuyasha took the bag from Kikyo and headed into the back changing room for his privacy. The room was empty save for a few benches one open window, but Inuyasha wasn't too fussed about closing it, after all he was already two stories up so there was little chance of a peeping Tom looking in. He locked the door just in case anyone was tempted to follow him in and quickly shrugged out of his clothes as he headed for the showers.

He thought about how close he had come to being gutted that morning. One wrong word and the information about Kagome's mini-adventure might have been leaked to someone like Kikyo or even Sango. But thankfully his quick thinking had saved him. If he hadn't made that excuse that he'd been trying to look after her then…

Inuyasha stopped completely. His hand rested on the back of his neck as the water droplets rained down on his face as he took a moment to think about it. It hadn't been an excuse at all, had it? In his own bumbling way he had not put her in that bathroom to hide her, but to keep an eye on her in case she hurt herself. God only knew how many times he'd inadvertently hurt himself in the middle of a drunken stupor with no one around to watch him.

He let out a deep sigh and closed eyes, getting on with the task of thoroughly soaking himself before the match. But why bother? He was only going to get hot and sweaty and bloody… and sat on at some point.

"… Sucks…" he grunted as he turned the water off and towelled off as he headed towards his bag.

He'd only just managed to change back into his underwear when someone dropped through the window.


Inuyasha blinked as the wolf straightened and dusted himself off. "Oh hello." He said on impulse, frowning slightly. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Came to wish you good luck for the finals." Kouga responded with a serious face.

"Really?" Inuyasha blinked again.

Kouga snorted and broke out into a smirk. "No, I came to sabotage your chances. Who do you think I am?"

Well that was expected. Inuyasha gave a dramatic sigh. "I really don't have time for this." He told the other boxer. "I have a fight in twenty minutes and I just don't-"

"You think I'll let you sweep past me so easily?" Kouga interrupted, moving towards and checking the lock. Inuyasha watched him dubiously. "Thanks to someone gunning me down in the street I missed our scheduled fight. And what do I find when I get out of hospital? You moving straight onto the finals through pure luck alone. You don't deserve it."

Inuyasha glanced at his watch quickly. "You're right, I don't." he agreed honestly. "But what are you going to do about it? I didn't shoot you."

"I know that." Kouga cracked his knuckles. "But maybe we can even things out. If you beat me now in a fair fight, then both you and I will know that are worthy of the championship. However… if you lose to me, then you must promise that you will lose to your next opponent."

Inuyasha stared at him unmovingly. For all appearances, Kouga looked serious about that challenge.

Well… Inuyasha was going to hold him to that. "Fine. You and me right now to those terms. But if you cheat then I won't promise to lose to the meatball guy."

"Done." Kouga shrugged out of his jacket and let it fall to the ground. He kicked it out of the way towards the benches. Inuyasha idly watched him square his shoulders and realised that perhaps fighting with only his boxers on wasn't a particularly good idea…

Good idea or not, it was going to have to do as Kouga took the first step in a furious attack.


"You did what to your mother's kitchen?" Kagome gaped at the three triplets lined up before her.

"Blew it up." The end one said with a mild shrug.

"With the microwave." The one in the middle added.

Kagome continued to gape at them in a very fish-like manner. The other adults seemed to be keeping well out of this one. "Dare I ask," Kagome began, "Just how a bunch of nine year olds managed to blow up a kitchen."

"Were you watching Home Alone again?" Miroku asked from nearby.

"No." the triplet in the middle shook his head. "Inuyasha told us how to do it."

Well… no surprises there. Kagome frowned. "Inuyasha told you to blow up your kitchen?"

They nodded. "But he said we shouldn't tell Dad that."

"He told us that if you put a balloon filled with propane and oxygen into a microwave with a spoon attached to the side to give a spark, then the microwave would blow up." One triplet said. His brother continued. "We didn't believe him so we took a balloon from the party drawer and filled it with propane from the barbecue and oxygen from the nanny's oxygen tank."

"And then blew up the microwave." The last triplet finished.

(note: do not try that at home - it actually does blow up your microwave)

"Well… what did your mom say?" Kagome asked, morbidly fascinated despite herself.

"Oh she shouted at dad and then dad shouted at her and then Mom said that she had to go give the pool boy his cheque and then dad said that he needed to drop off something with his secretary."

What a wonderful family. She was just about to go and warn them not to ever listen to a blockhead like their teenage uncle ever again lest it end in someone being maimed - when Sango called her.

"Hey Kagome, where were you yesterday anyway?" She cocked her head with a puzzled smile. "I hear you didn't turn up till past curfew."

"Uh…" Kagome struggled to think of some good excuse while Miroku had a small coughing fit in his corner. "I… I mean, we went to the cinema… long film… didn't get out till quite late."

"What film was it?" Sango asked.

"Uh… some… English film about weddings and funerals, I didn't really get it. Way too long." Kagome said dismissively.

"That's good." Sango suddenly looked relieved. "I was worried Inuyasha had dragged you off somewhere unsavoury to teach you how smoke weed."

Miroku snorted into his can of coke. "Inuyasha wouldn't do that." He glanced over at Inuyasha's agent. "However, Kikyo might."

Kikyo glared at him stonily, but Miroku seemed immune to it. Both Sango and Kagome stared at the agent till Sango popped the question. "You what?"

"Oh didn't she tell you?" Miroku said cheerfully, moving over to sling an arm around Kikyo's stiff shoulders. "Back in Kikyo's hay day she used to be quite the rebel with the illegal substances." Kagome blinked at her… but Kikyo wasn't saying anything to deny that accusation. "Is that true?" she asked her.

Kikyo rolled her eyes and pushed Miroku off. "Don't be silly. It was one time… and the fact that it happened to be broadcast to a nation of millions was an unhappy accident."

"Damn funny though." Miroku sniggered. "That's how we decided to hire her. We saw her presenting a kid's news program when she was seventeen-"

"I was doing a report on the troops in the middle east who had confiscated lots of illegal material after a raid on a terrorist base." Kikyo picked up the threat of the story, obviously determined to tell it her way without Miroku embroidering the story. "I presented the report in front of a field where the soldiers were burning piles of firearms, counter-fit clothes and… cannabis."

"Smoke was pouring all over them." Miroku grinned. "By the fifth take she was stumbling over her words… by the fifteenth she was on the floor laughing her ass off."

"That was a long time ago," Kikyo said hotly.

Miroku laughed. "Still funny as-"

He broke off his words as a crash sounded from the next room. Kagome turned with the others towards the changing room door in surprise as a loud curse rang out. Another crash, sharper that time, echoed and they jumped slightly. Miroku made his way to the door. "Inuyasha - are you alright in there?"

"You bastard!" was the furious response.

"Sorry," Miroku sounded miffed. "I was only-"


That hadn't been Inuyasha's voice on the other side of that door. Miroku quickly tried the handle, only to find it locked. Kagome hurried to the door and tried it herself, but the door still wouldn't budge. Kikyo looked on, shaking her head. "We can't get through that - we need someone stronger-"

"Like demons!" The triplets chorused. "We'll do it."

Everyone around the door quickly backed off as the triplets scraped their feet the way bulls did before they charged. Then with one almighty, yet very squeaky roar, they hurtled towards the door…

…and bounced off with a collective thud.

Kikyo sighed as the three boys staggered away looking very confused. She approached the door and knocked on it. "What's going on in there?!" she called loudly.

"Just a minute!" Inuyasha sounded strained.

All they could do was wait anxiously, listening to the various thuds and cries from inside the changing room. Kagome shifted impatiently from foot to foot, wondering what the hell was happening inside that they could hear, yet not see or do anything about.

Then everything fell quiet.

Inuyasha opened the door, panting, and bleeding in streams from various wounds over his body. "Sorry about that," he gasped, then promptly collapsed onto the floor at Kagome's feet with a groan.

"My god…" Kagome quickly crouched down to touch his head tentatively while Miroku and Sango dashed into the changing room.

The pristine white tiles on the wall were now slated with rather sickeningly fresh blood. Kagome felt her nausea rise as she peered through the doorway, seeing the red mingle with the water like a scene straight out of Psycho.

Kouga was slumped directly against the opposite wall, panting and conscious, but in no condition to stand. Miroku and Sango went to help him as Kikyo simply folded her arms and tutted. "You do realise Inuyasha that you have your championship fight in less than ten minutes."

"Mm hm." He panted from the floor, wincing at the aches and pains that marred him. Kagome shook her head.

"You're such an idiot." She told him softly.

"I know…" he inwardly cringed at the soft motherly scolding tone to her voice.

"You have to fight someone stronger in a minute."

"I know…"

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked hesitantly.


"If you die, can I have your Silver Porsche?"

AN: Don't worry about the flamers people, they've stopped since I wrote that thing in the last chapter. But I'd like to thank everyone for their support and sympathy, I'm very touched ^_^