InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Drifting ❯ Confronted ( Chapter 9 )

Confronted

 

“InuYasha”

 

The air choked itself out of Kagome's lungs. She coughed, trying to regain her breath. The apparition in front of her wouldn't disappear even as she tried to blink him away fiercely.

 

“Ka… Kagome,” he rasped out, taking a step toward her. She wanted to turn and run, but her feet wouldn't move. Her whole body felt like lead, and her mind felt numb. It's just your mind, Kagome. He's not here. He didn't come for you. He lifted a hand to touch her face, and she gasped when she felt the contact, and didn't notice that he did the same.

 

“It's really… it's really you,” she whispered, barely audible. Then her mind processed what her eyes were showing her. In all of her dreams of InuYasha coming for her, when had he looked like this? His hair was limp and tangled, and his body was thin, but most noticeably his eyes were dulled. In all her memories of him they were so full of passion and warmth, and in her dreams they had burned into her.

 

“Kagome… I thought that I'd… lost you,” he said, taking his hand away.

 

Lose me InuYasha? Didn't you throw me away? So maybe I am lost, but only to myself, I guess. She didn't say anything.

 

“I need you, Kagome. I… I always have. I can't… live… if you're not there.” His face was so full of pain, full of the question he couldn't bear to ask, but Kagome couldn't react to it.

 

Am I alive, InuYasha? How can I know anymore? Why can't you tell me? She remained silent. InuYasha took another step toward her, coming in close and breathing her in deeply. She could feel her blood pounding in her head as she struggled not to submit.

 

“What do you want, Kagome?”

 

To hurt you.

 

Disheartened by her reticence, InuYasha began to turn away, slowly heading for Goshinboku. “InuYasha,” Kagome called out, her arms wrapped around herself and her body rocking slightly, “Why didn't you ever… Why didn't we…” she sighed, and looked as if the words were too painful to say, but she plunged on, needing to get them out, “Why didn't you ever mate me?”

 

Kagome didn't dare look at the hanyou as the words rang in the air, and InuYasha couldn't answer them. “I would have let you…” she continued, “You know I would have let you. You know every inch of my body… and I… know yours. . But you never…” Her eyes lifted to meet his as she whispered, “I should have known, huh.”

 

 

“Kagome,” InuYasha rasped, but he was cut short.

 

“No. I… don't want to hear it,” she turned her back to him, unwilling to look at him while every part of her cried out to go to him. “I should have known… Stupid Kagome, right? I really thought… I thought…”

 

InuYasha came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as she broke into tears. “I… wanted to,” he said into her ear, “I wanted to… but I…” He couldn't think of why he never did.

 

“No!” Kagome shouted. She turned around and pounded a fist into his chest. “Don't lie to me! If you had wanted to, you would have done it! You would have done it.” She collapsed against his chest and sank to her knees. InuYasha continued to hold her as she sobbed. When her breathing grew calmer, he lifted her face, and wiped away the remaining tears.

 

“Kagome,” He said, staring into her eyes, “Please, believe me. It's what I want. What I've always wanted.” Just for that moment, his eyes regained former luster, and just for that moment, Kagome believed him. He lowered his lips to hers, at first gently, then gaining intensity as she responded, tasting his mouth with unrelenting hunger. He wanted to devour her, to gain the part of himself he had lost when she was gone. Kagome moaned as his fangs dragged over her lips, and her entire body shook with the fierce desire they shared. InuYasha dragged his claws up her arms, down her back, over her thighs, igniting a flame that had been lost in all those days of separation.

 

InuYasha moved his mouth to flutter kisses over her eyes, her cheek, her jawbone, her neck. “InuYasha,” she breathed, “InuYasha.” He growled and his fangs grazed her neck, sending tremors through her body.

 

Suddenly Kagome pulled away, pushing her hands to her hot cheeks. I can't do this. Not now. Looking for something, anything to say, her eyes finally focused on something.

 

“What's in your hand?” she asked InuYasha. He looked surprised, but opened his hand to reveal the shikon no tama. Kagome looked at it, and then took it, letting her fingers linger over his.

 

Suddenly he pulled away, and put his hand on Tetsusaiga's hilt. “The heartbeat,” he said, “It… came back.” He pulled out the sword and watched as it transformed for him, seeming not to notice as Kagome walked a little bit away from him.

 

What am I doing? She looked back at InuYasha, who still seemed transfixed by the sword, though he sheathed it when he saw her stare. I don't want this. I can't go back to the way it was.

 

“Kagome?” InuYasha asked cautiously.

 

“I… I have to go.”

 

“But… we're at your house. Where are you going?”

 

“Inside. I need to… to take a shower.” She pressed her hands to her cheeks, and then walked past him. InuYasha started to follow her, planning to sit in her house and wait. Kagome whipped around and said, “Don't,” before running into her house. She ran up the stairs and into her bathroom, turning on the water and stripping as quickly as she could. She stepped into the steam, and let the water hit her, pounding against her skin. I have to wash it all away. I need to wash this away.

 

The salt from her tears joined the water swirling down the drain.

 

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InuYasha stood still in the spot where Kagome had left him. He unsheathed Tetsusaiga again, watching the blade transform. This was real. She was real. The blade stilled the worst of his fears, and a grim determination took him over. He would never have to go through the pain of losing Kagome again.

 

Now he didn't know what to do. He had found her, and for a minute he had held her. For a minute he had believed that none of this had happened and everything was the way it had been. He knew that it wasn't and that it never could be, but part of him blindly held on to the hope that Kagome would forgive him and go back to him.

 

When it became apparent that Kagome wasn't coming out any time soon, he walked over to the house. When he reached the door, however, Kagome's mother opened it and blocked his entrance. She smiled a little worriedly and said, “I'm sorry InuYasha, but it would probably be better if you didn't come in. You seemed to have upset Kagome somehow, and it would just be better if you stayed away for now.”

 

InuYasha stared at the woman in complete shock. She looked at him apologetically and closed the door. I'm not leaving, he thought forcefully and walked to the only familiar thing in this era. You may not see me, Kagome, but I'm going to protect you, he silently thought from the cradle of Goshinboku's branches. I'm not leaving you, and I'm not letting you go.

 

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AN: I do not own the rights to InuYasha