InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Emergence ❯ The Importance of Kagome ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: I want to say thank you to my three reviewers and to my new beta Lauren. Here is the new chapter. I hope you enjoy.

*****

It took only two days for InuYasha to realize just how much he took Kagome's nearly constant presence for granted. InuYasha wondered how he could have failed to notice just how much work she did when she was with them.

Without Kagome to talk to Sango was becoming increasingly frustrated with Miroku and having no one to vent to peacefully, she was taking it out on them all rather violently. Kagome also wasn't around to keep the bouzo from pestering him long past the limit of his patience or to protect him. Shippou's care fell almost entirely on the increasingly short-tempered taijiya and the usually exuberant kit was unnaturally subdued though still annoying.

*****

InuYasha received his first real reality check four days after hearing of her accident.

Shippou was following him…again. He understood that the kit missed Kagome; he really did because he missed her as well, and he also understood his worry, but he did not have the patience of the young miko. InuYasha wanted nothing more than to be left alone with his pain, and longing for Kagome.

Shippou jumped up onto the hanyou's shoulder.

"Damn it runt, go back to the fucking village and quit following me around." InuYasha growled knocking the kitsune to the ground.

"This is your fault." Shippou yelled. "You made her go away. You're always so mean to her."

"Shut the hell up. Kagome ain't here to save you and besides you don't know what the hell you're talking about." InuYasha bellowed.

"You're such a baka." Shippou said furiously. "Kagome cares about you and you don't care at all. You only care about yourself and that stupid Kikyou."

Shippou flinched at the low growl that had welled up and spilled from InuYasha. He knew what it meant, that he had gone too far. The growl increased in volume and Shippou ran as fast as he could in the direction of the village. He knew he'd never be able to out run the hanyou but for the first time since meeting him Shippou was genuinely afraid, so he ran.

InuYasha took off after the kitsune and caught him easily, landing in his path and stopping him dead. The darkest part of him delighted in the smaller youkai’s terror as he stood frozen at his feet. He could feel his youkai blood pulsing in his veins, screaming to be allowed to take over. He was only just able to hold it back.

In a voice he barely recognized as his own InuYasha spoke. "I've listened to your lip one too many times and now Kagome ain't here to keep me from teaching you who's in charge around here."

Shippou jumped hoping to be able to use his fox magic to get away but before he could even pull out the acorns he was going to use to multiply InuYasha backhanded him and sent him flying through the air and into a tree. Youkai or not he was a child and the impact was too much for his little body and several of his bones broke.

A series of sickening snapping sounds brought InuYasha back from wherever his rational mind had gone in his anger. He looked at his hand almost as if it wasn't really a part of his body. Immediately he caught Shippou's scent and could smell how badly he had injured the young demon. He raced over to where Shippou lie motionless on the ground.

The little boy came awake slowly and whimpered. He hurt all over and when he tried to move it was hard to breathe. He looked at InuYasha with wide fearful eyes and whimpered louder trying to curl up into a ball. InuYasha winced at Shippou's reaction to him and reached out to pick him up.

He cradled the kit to his chest and growled softly. "Fuck . . . I . . Damn it, I didn't mean it . . . I'm going to take you to Kaede okay? Just stay still and she'll fix you up in no time."

Shippou didn't say anything or make any sound other than the occasional whine when InuYasha jostled him enough to cause pain because of his injuries.

InuYasha cast his head down in shame as he entered the old miko's hut with Shippou in his arms. He could feel the eyes of Miroku and Sango on him. He set the kit down beside Kaede on the mat in which she tended the ill and injured. He dug his claws into his hands relishing the pain, knowing that he deserved it for what he had done. Annoying or not Shippou was his responsibility.

He knew that Kagome saw Shippou as an adopted son and the kit saw her as his mother, and both were part of his strange pack, his family. As the strongest of them all he was their leader and everyone, including the monk, Sango and even Kaede and Kirara, were his to protect, not to harm.

"InuYasha what has happened?" Kaede asked as she looked over the injured boy.

He clenched his jaw and struggled with what to say. "I...It was me . .”

"What?" Sango gasped. "Why would you do this?"

"Fuck, I didn't mean it . . . It was like I watching the whole thing and I couldn't do anything to stop myself. I know I'm a bastard all right." InuYasha ground out. "I'm a worthless fucking half breed who was low enough to injure a pup. You think I'm not sorry . . . You think I don't know that I fucked up? I know I did and I am sorry. Don't worry though it ain't going to happen again cause I ain't coming back here ever."

InuYasha left the hut and headed into the forest. He meant what he said. He wasn't going to go back to the village. He was a monster who couldn't be trusted. InuYasha finally stopped at the Goshinboku and jumped up onto his favourite branch. He dug his claws into the wood. He could feel the splinters digging into his skin and several of his claws breaking, but he didn't care.

He could deal with physical pain. He had been beaten more times than he could count and fought in plenty of battles. Sometimes the pain had been all he had to tell him that he was still alive. No, the pain he couldn't tolerate, that was tearing at him, threatening to undo him, was the pain in his heart. Kagome would be so disappointed in him. She would have sat him straight to hell if she knew what he had done and he wouldn't have blamed her.

That thought brought an entirely new pain that ripped through him and caused him to howl in frustration and in agony. Kagome couldn't sit him. She wasn't here to comfort him or to yell at him, and she hadn't been there to protect Shippou from him.

He could honestly say that he would have given anything to hear a loud osuwari and to find himself planted face first in the dirt He would also give anything to take back what he had done to Shippou, but he knew all too well that nothing could turn back time.

Back in the hut Kaede was busy tending to Shippou. Physically the boy would be fine in a day or two but she couldn't help but wonder if other more lasting damage had been done.

"I can't believe InuYasha would do such a thing." Sango said. "I know he and Shippou annoy each other, but it has never gone beyond a harmless thump on the head, certainly nothing like this."

"I have been expecting something like this." Kaede said.

"Am I correct Kaede in assuming that you agree this too can be attributed to Kagome's extended absence?" Miroku asked.

"You are." Kaede replied. "We all know that she tempers his spirit."

Miroku nodded. "Not having seen her in so long added with the strain of not knowing if she is well, has caused him to become more wild, more as he was at the beginning of our journey and less forgiving. His temper is always shorter when she returns to her era, and Shippou tends to know just what to say to aggravate him. This time Kagome wasn't here to calm him, be it with the rosary or with her presence."

"Do you think someone should go talk to him?" Sango asked.

"I think it would be best to wait until morning." Miroku offered.

*****

In the morning Shippou was feeling much better. Though he hadn't let on, he had heard all of the previous night's conversation and more than that in the distance he had heard InuYasha faintly howling in the forest and knew that it meant the hanyou was genuinely sorry.

He also remembered when his father found out his mother was dead. He had changed, become volatile and angry as he sought revenge for her. Shippou also knew that Kagome would be sad if she came back and found InuYasha gone. He knew that he didn't have to be afraid of InuYasha when Kagome was around, so if he could just avoid angering the Hanyou until she came back, things could go back to the way they were, but first he had to get InuYasha to come back.

Everyone else was still sleeping so Shippou got up and snuck out of the hut. He still hurt a little but it wasn't too bad as long as he didn't move too quickly.

He found InuYasha in the first placed he looked. Shippou called up into the branches of the Goshinboku even though he was pretty sure the hanyou already knew he was there. "InuYasha."

InuYasha looked at him. "What do you want runt?"

"Yesterday wasn't all your fault. I shouldn't have said those things. I know you miss Kagome." Shippou offered. "You asked me to leave you alone, but I didn't."

InuYasha jumped down and winced when Shippou flinched back at his sudden movement. "It don't matter what you said I never should have done what I did. You should just stay away from me from now on, you and everybody else. You're all better off without me. Now go."

Kirara saw Shippou leaving and woke Sango and Miroku. She mewed once.

"Where is Shippou?" Sango asked. "You don't think he went to find InuYasha do you? He wouldn't, would he?"

"I don't know but in any case, he is injured and should not be off on his own. Let's go." Miroku replied.

Kirara took them to find Shippou. As they neared the Goshinboku, they saw InuYasha jump down from the tree. They landed a few feet away.

"But . . . If you aren't with us, Kagome will be sad when she comes back." Shippou told him.

Miroku approached. "Shippou you should not be out here. You are still not fully healed. Go back to the village with Sango. I wish to speak to InuYasha privately."

Miroku noticed that several of the claws on each of InuYasha's hands were missing and he could see them starting to grow in from the base not having reached the tips of his fingers yet. Shippou left with Sango and Kirara and InuYasha looked at him.

"If you came out here to tell me what an ass hole I am then don't bother. I already know." InuYasha said.

"Actually I wanted to tell you that we all understand what happened much better than you might think." Miroku told him. He sat down in the grass and waited for InuYasha to join him before continuing. "It seems we have all taken Kagome for granted. I know I myself am guilty of underestimating her value to our little group. While it is true that her arrows hold power, that is not her true importance nor is her ability to see that shards. What happened yesterday made it all too clear how much she is needed."

InuYasha who had been looking out into the forest looked to Miroku and saw that the young monk was completely serious.

"Kagome's true power lies in her kind heart and her generous and forgiving spirit. She has a way about her that makes our journey easier for all of us, myself included." Miroku explained. "She is the one who Sango confides in and who helps Kaede with her herbs. It is she that advises me, and when necessary distracts me from groping Sango one too many times, and she cares for Shippou. She seems to know exactly when he is about to push you too hard, or go to far and steps in and you . . . For you she tempers your youkai half."

"What of it?" InuYasha asked. "She ain't here now. For all I know she isn't ever coming back. It still ain't an excuse."

"If Shippou has forgiven you then why can you not forgive yourself?" Miroku posed. "May I ask you a rather personal question?"

"You can ask. Don't mean I'll answer." InuYasha replied.

"You did not deny that Kagome helps you remain calm. What is it about her that does this for you?" Miroku asked.

InuYasha shrugged. "Her aura, her scent they just help me relax, even when that brat is getting on my case."

"If that is the case then perhaps you should consider a visit to her time." Miroku offered. "Would her things not hold lingering traces of her scent? I know that I am not hanyou or youkai, but it would make sense to me that being near her in that way might help you until Kagome is able to return to us."

InuYasha hadn't thought of that. The best night's sleep of his life had been in her bed in her room and it had been because her scent had been in everything, so strongly and all around him.

"Before I go allow me to point out one last thing," Miroku said after a moment. "While I know as well as you that Kagome would be very upset about what happened, she would be infinitely more upset to return and find you gone, or that something had happened to you, and you know as well as I that she would also forgive you."

InuYasha watched Miroku walk back toward the village and had to admit that the bouzo was right about everything. He really had no choice but to admit to himself that without Kagome he would have no life. He would have to go back to living alone in the forest because Miroku and Sango wouldn't put of with him for long if he kept acting like he was now. They were good people and good friends but neither had the patience nor the way with him that Kagome did.

*****

InuYasha headed to Kagome's time well after night had fallen. As he exited the well house, he checked for any sign on the temporary shine keeper and found his scent hours old and heading away from the main house and down the steps.

He jumped up to her window and looked inside. It felt wrong to be going into her room when she wasn't there, but something inside him told him that he needed to. InuYasha tried the window and found it open. Even before he could step inside her scent washed over him.

He entered her room and felt his entire body relax. Tension he wasn't even aware of eased out of him as he inhaled deeply. Here in this place he could feel her presence. The monk had been right.

InuYasha crossed to her desk and looked at the open book on top of it. It meant nothing to him other than the fact that he had found Kagome hunched over books just like this one, sleeping, too many times to count. Most of the time she would wake when he came in and yell at him for coming before she was supposed to be back, but sometimes she remained asleep and he would put her in bed.

He knew she would be upset at him for going through her things, but he couldn't resist the chance to learn more about her as she was in this era. InuYasha pulled open the top drawer of her desk and found papers and yellow writing sticks.

The second drawer contained strange colourful paper books with pictures of women on the cover, covered in writing. He flipped through one and found all sorts of strange things, before putting it away. When he pulled open the last drawer all that waited were two books.

When he opened the first, he was surprised to find that these books held pictures not words. The first page was a wedding picture of man and a woman who InuYasha finally figured out to be Kagome's mother when she was only a little older than Kagome.

That man . . . He must be her father. She's never mentioned him. I wonder why? He turned several pages until he came to one of Kagome's mother holding a baby. That must be Kagome . . . From there on the pictures varied containing a combination of the old man; Kagome and her mother and father. Then when Kagome looked to be about eight her father disappeared from the photos. Her father . . . Did he leave? Or is he dead? I can't believe I never thought about that before.

Kagome grew older and more people started appearing in her pictures, like her little brother and her friends. He finally came to pictures of her as she looked when they met and then there were no more. None with her family, or her friends. I guess that's my fault. I keep her away from here and she barely has time to do that school of hers.

InuYasha wasn't sure that he wanted to open the other book, but he did. On the very first page was a picture of him sleeping on her bed. How the hell did she take that without me noticing? I must have been really tired. Beneath the picture was some writing that even his limited knowledge allowed him to read. It was his name in big bold characters.

As he turned through the book, he began to realize that Kagome could definitely be stealthy when she wanted to be. There were no less than ten pictures of him and he had not known that she had taken any of them. There was one of him in the Goshinboku in both the past and in her era, as well as one of him chasing Shippou and another of him chasing Miroku. There was even one of him face first in the ground obviously having been subjugated by the damn rosary. She had a lone picture of him as a human. Each of his pictures had its’ own page.

Scattered throughout the rest of the book were pictures of all their other companions and finally there was a group shot that he remembered Kaede taking for her after being shown how to operate the camera. He was scowling with his arms folded trying to act put upon for having to take part. Sango was glaring at Miroku who was sporting a handprint on the side of his face and Kagome was holding Shippou. Both her and the kit were the only ones smiling.

He tried to work out the characters beneath the picture. My second family. "Kagome . . . "

He went to return the book and a single photo fell out. He picked it up, ignoring the writing on the back. He turned it over and was surprised by what he saw. He was sitting in the Goshinboku with his eyes closed and Kagome was standing beneath the tree looking up at him. Her hair was billowed out to the side and she was smiling up at him. Kagome wasn't much older in the picture than she was when they first met. It was in her time so he assumed her mother must have taken the picture.

He flipped it over to see if he recognized what was written on it and found that he did. He had seen his mother write the same thing many times when trying to teach him to read. Ashiteru my InuYasha.

I am the world's biggest bastard. I thought that was Sesshomaru, but I was wrong it's me. That changes now. As soon as Kagome is back with me I won't take her for granted ever again and I won't push her away. I...I need her too much and I. I... I love her too much too . . .

InuYasha tucked the picture into his haori and took it with him when he left. He would give it back to her when she was home again and tell her how much it meant to him.

InuYasha visited her room every couple of nights and the others found his temperament to be much more bearable. He still missed her but when it got too hard he had the picture and her words to help him get through it.