InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Genuine Desires : Unity ❯ Making Adjustments . . . ( Chapter 23 )

Making Adjustments. . .

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`Dear InuYasha,

 

 

 

By the time you awaken, I won't be here anymore. I . . . I just couldn't live with the fact that you hated me. I broke your heart, and I've lost your trust, and that's just something that hurts more than anything. How can I choose between two lives when there's something I love in both of them. My mother, grandfather, and brother . . . and in the Sengoku Jidai, Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and most of all, you.

 

 

 

I've returned the ring you gave me. Maybe you'll give it to somebody again, the one girl that was meant to be with you. I know that this'll hurt, but after a while, you'll forget all about me, and you'll laugh about it in the end. How could you love a pathetic human like me, you know?

 

 

 

Maybe I'll die . . . or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll find a way to open the well, and maybe I won't. But I won't forget about you, and I hope that you won't forget about me. We shared something, and even though it might not have been what fate decided for us, I'll cherish it always. Your pouts, and your ears, and the way you held me . . .

 

 

 

I've also left something for you too. You can find it at Goshinboku. Oh, and another thing too.

 

 

 

I love you, dog-boy.

 

 

 

Kagome

 

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He clenched the paper between his fists with all the strength he had left. Sick or not, he could smell the paper drenched in her tears, and he could also smell the soft kiss she left on the paper, as well as the ring. It made him angry and depressed at the same time. She actually thought she could leave. She actually thought that he loved another, that there was another person for him.

 

 

 

He sighed and stood up, using the wall to brace himself when his legs began shaking. He sighed and began walking out of the hut, slowly making his way to her hut. Her scent was all over it . . . and her presence was slowly fading from it. She left a little after her passed out, and even though he tried to hide it, the pang of sadness that hit him was stronger than anything he ever felt before.

 

 

 

He caught a glimpse of her, when she limped in the middle of the night the first day of the incident to get some water. Her hair was all over her head, her face pale and swollen. It took everything in him not to go to her and hug her so hard every bone in her body was crushed. He couldn't do it. Just thinking about her muttered confession that night hurt every bone in his body.

 

 

 

It wasn't the fact that she wanted to go home, it was the fact that he believed all this time she wanted to stay with him, when all she wanted to do was return home to her era. He thought that maybe she'd be with him as long as he needed her, which was twenty four hours a day. He'd felt betrayed . . . and for a minute, he thought about Kikyou.

 

 

 

She had wanted to live a double life as well, didn't she? They were two different people, but whether he liked it or not, Kagome was still the reincarnate of Kikyou. He was able to discern the two, but the fact that Kagome still wanted to live a double life instead of just with him was just . . . heartbreaking.

 

 

 

`You are just selfish. She's been doing it for almost four years, you baka, and you want her to drop everything to be with you?'

 

 

 

`She . . . she said she'd stay with me anyway. She said that . . . she said she'll never leave me, when all this time she wanted to . . .'

 

 

 

`Why does it bother you she's homesick? Why does it matter to you she wants to see her mother one more time?'

 

 

 

`Because she misses a time and place that has nothing to do at all with me!'

 

 

 

He barked, standing in her doorway. He struck the wall angrily. `Because she exists in a place I don't belong . . . and I'm scared she'll . . . I'm scared she'll leave and find better than a disgusting, vile half-breed.'

 

 

 

His shallow breathing was the only thing he could hear as he pushed himself to the wall and used his back to sit down on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and draping his arms over them. The paper was still in his hand, and the ring was still inside his haori. Did he cause her to do this? She wouldn't survive on her own . . . she wouldn't last more than three days, and he knew that.

 

 

 

She had to be ill, also. Did she realize just how stupid she was being? Did she realize just how much danger she was putting herself in?

 

 

 

`She doesn't care . . . because she knows it hurts you to see her. She's leaving for you, baka, and all you can do is sit here and feel sorry for yourself because you are in love with a girl who comes from a time and a place that you don't understand!'

 

 

 

InuYasha winced at the accuracy of his youkai's words. It stung him deep, the truth, and when he actually thought about it, his ears flattened and he whimpered. He felt cold all over, but he couldn't stop thinking about the look on her face when he broke the well. She was torn between crying and screaming, and whenever she thought about her home, where he didn't belong, she had a broken look on her face.

 

 

 

He forced her to make a decision, didn't he? He forced her to make a decision and stay with him. She wouldn't choose him anyway. Maybe she was better off with Kouga anyway.

 

`Don't be stupid! Kouga already has pups and he won't be able to take care of Kagome like you can. You two understand each other, and you complete each other. You two are a whole.'

 

 

 

“A . . . whole.”

 

 

 

The words sounded strange coming out of his mouth, but he gave a sad little smile anyway. When he finally realized the truth, it was always too late. He was a hanyou with bad luck, and that would never change. His parents had died because of him, Kikyou had died because of him, and the woman he thought he belonged with left him.

 

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Sighing when she replaced the small clothe on the young girl's forehead, the young hanyou stirred the stew absently as she focused on the miko in question. It was dawn when she found her collapsed at the mouth of the pond. She must have been trying to get some water, and even though she was afraid of humans, she knew this young woman wouldn't hurt her.

 

 

 

She had heard of the woman . . . the human that defeated the evil Naraku with the help of a hanyou. It made her overwhelmed with joy, but the people found fault that a human and a hanyou defeated him, and soon she was exiled from her own home. Ten years she had lived there, her whole life, and she didn't do anything to anybody. Her short white hair hugged her face, the large blue ribbon across her head, to hold her hair back, her red eyes filled with sadness as she stared at the young woman struggling for breath.

 

 

 

The smell of tears was strong on her, and it took all of the hanyou's strength in order to wash it off. The woman was tiny, but the heaviest object she had ever held.

 

 

 

The woman's eyes opened, and she screamed and ducked behind the large pot that she had been cooking with when she sat up and looked around. Her brown eyes clear and rid of the smell of confusion, she smiled at her and held out her hand. “It's okay now, don't be afraid.”

 

 

 

She poked her head out and sniffed her carefully, her ears on top of her head flattening. They were very large for her side, and her long tail swayed happily, even though she still looked suspicious. “Um . . .”

 

The woman smiled and dug in her bag, making the hanyou duck behind the pot again. The woman pulled out a box and placed it on the floor, sliding it towards the hanyou with a soft smile on her face.

 

 

 

The young hanyou picked it up and sniffed it. Shaking it, she opened it and looked at the contents. It smelled wonderful, and she licked it, squealing with delight when she dug her whole face into it.

 

 

“Don't eat it all at once . . .”

 

 

 

The woman burst into laughter looking at the hanyou. Her mouth and hair covered in chocolate, she looked like a puppy caught digging in the trash can. The woman took a clothe and wiped her face gently with it. “What's your name?”

 

 

 

The hanyou shuffled her feet and blushed. “It's . . . I don't have a name, miss.”

 

 

 

The woman frowned and looked angry for a moment. “You're a hanyou, aren't you?”

 

 

 

The hanyou nodded sadly and looked away. “Yes, ma'am.”

 

 

 

“You don't belong here,” She said matter-of-factly. “You look as if you belong somewhere with snow.”

 

 

 

The hanyou nodded sadly again and sighed. “I've been exiled from my home, ma'am, and I've nowhere else to go. What about you? Have you been exiled as well?”

 

 

 

The woman shrugged and sighed. “Not exactly. We'll talk about that later. Let's get you a name, okay? How about . . .Kumi?”

 

“K . . Kumi?”

 

 

 

“It means ribbon,” the woman said, tweaking the hanyou's ear. “I think it fits. What about you?”

 

 

 

The little girl's face filled with happiness and she hugged the woman tightly. “Thank you, Ms . . .”

 

 

 

“It's Kagome.”

 

 

 

“Kagome-sama.”

 

 

 

“No . . . Just Kagome. Adding the honorifics make me sound so . . . old.”

 

 

 

Kumi nodded and smiled. “So . . . will you stay?”

 

 

 

Kagome looked off into the distance, her eyes clouding over as she considered it for a while. “Sure,” She replied softly. “I'll stay.”

 

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“He left?”

 

 

 

Kaede nodded and ran a tired hand over her face. “Aye . . . he'll die out there if he tries to search for Kagome. I'm surprised at her, as well.”

 

 

 

Sango turned a pale color as she rocked back and forth on her heel. When she had went to obtain Kagome for a bath, the woman had been gone, and nobody had seen her in the village. Sango had felt guilty that Kagome had left and nobody noticed it, but then she thought that nobody could ever blame Kagome for anything, and that's maybe why she left so easily.

 

 

But when InuYasha took off without a word, growling at something in his hand, she wondered what was going on. But it was until noon that she finally put two and two together and became concerned for both of there welfare. She sighed. Miroku tightened an arm around her shoulders, affectionately, pulling her closer and kissing her head.

 

 

 

She smiled and thanked him silently as Shippou walked in slowly. The kitsune's depression was apparent. He walked into the back and climbed the ladder onto the roof, without saying a word to anybody. Kaede watched him sadly. “I fear this is something that will not blow over so easily.” She finally said.

 

 

 

Miroku nodded solemnly. “InuYasha passing out was strange. Kagome's taking off was even stranger. But InuYasha taking off in his condition after Kagome, after he had transformed and passed out? That's just absurd.”

 

 

 

“Love'll make you do some crazy things,” Sango muttered quietly. “But I wonder if they'll make it.”

 

 

 

Sesshomaru clucked his tongue. “I believe Kagome, even with the amount of stupidity she endures from my brother, will pull through, and finally return to him. And I believe my brother, with the stupidity that he possess, will find a way to make up to the miko without making himself look even more of a fool.”

 

 

 

Miroku chuckled. “Harsh assessment.”

 

 

 

Sesshommaru shrugged and flared his nostrils. “This is the truth, and that is only what I

speak.”

 

Miroku shrugged and looked at Sango, who was still a pale color. She hadn't eaten since the day Kagome had fallen ill, and even though she assured everyone she was alright, she couldn't lie to Miroku so easily. She hadn't even slept last night, and he had been so worried about her he took her to the hot spring so she could relax. But on the way back, she was so quiet it made him worry even more, and he didn't know how to bring up the subject without making her upset again.

 

 

He wondered was there anyway that Kagome, or InuYasha, would survive. It was pushing winter, and the mornings was chilly. He knew Kagome got cold easily, and all she was carrying was her large backpack. He became worried for her, and it must have been apparent, because Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at him. “Be strong, not only for InuYasha, but for this village, and your woman.”

 

 

 

Miroku was surprised by the youkai's advice, but he nodded quickly and smiled when Sango nodded as well, stretching and holding her head up high. She stood up and smiled, and even though he knew she had to force it, he forced one himself, just so she wouldn't feel she was alone. “I think I'm going to make sure all the villagers are okay, and then I'll just check around the outskirts of the village. Come, Kirara,” She called.

 

 

 

Kirara galloped along behind her, and Kaede stood and forced a smile as well. “I think I'll go and gather some more herbs,” She said, nodded towards Rin. “Would ye like to come along?”

 

 

 

Rin looked at Sesshomaru, no nodded slowly. She smiled and hollered up for Shippou to come along as well, who calmly told her that he didn't feel to good today. Miroku started to frown, but Sesshomaru stood up and beckoned to him. “Shall we hunt for dinner?”

 

 

 

Even though Miroku nodded, it felt strange to be doing it without InuYasha. InuYasha was mainly the one to go hunting, and Miroku had grown accustomed to hearing Kagome's soft laughter, or Shippou to be chatting away with her as they would sit on the well located in the middle of the village.

 

 

 

And it was even stranger how, even though he tried to hide it, Sesshomaru was worried about them too. But Miroku forced a smile and continued dragging his feet behind Sesshomaru.

 

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He growled as he slowly prodded along, using the blade of Tetsusaiga to push himself forward. He hadn't gotten farther than three miles from the well when he collapsed, and it took him a good hour to be able to move without collapsing again. He had stopped to eat something, but then wolfed it down without a second thought and began on his journey again. His senses was slowly fading . . . he didn't know why he was chasing after her, but he needed to see her one more time. Driven with this hidden instinct, he pressed the paper drenched in the scent of her tears and the scent that was Kagome to his nose and breathed deeply.

 

 

 

Her scent was rich, thick, and InuYasha shuddered softly. It was the only thing he smell . . . everything else was just mixing together into this strong odor that made his head hurt. He whimpered and flattened his ears, pushing himself forward a little more as he legs began to quaver again. `Don't give up . . . find Kagome . . .'

 

 

 

He winced and continued onward, sniffing the air only to fight back another wave of dizziness. He could hear the faintest sound of running water, and clearing his throat a little, he decided to take a little dip in order to wake himself up.

 

 

 

His arms were tired, and his feet, face and legs were bruised terribly. He had left at dawn, taking the chance of leaving before he turned hanyou. But by the time he reached the well, he had already transformed, and it numbed some of the excruciating pain he was experiencing.

 

 

 

What kept him going forward? The bright memories of Kagome's smiles, the chime of her laughter, her soft kisses and her shy innocence. It was the strength he needed to keep going, and it was all he needed to live. That's why he desired to see her one more time . . . to just hold her in his arms, and then he could finally rest . . .

 

 

 

He winced when he felt his legs give out, and hitting the ground with a dull thump, he knew he couldn't move without even trying. His eyelids grew heavy, and his whole body went numb. He sighed and allowed his eyes to drift closed.

 

 

 

`Just . . . a minute . . . then we keep going . . .'

 

 

 

Hours Later . . .

 

 

 

He didn't know what happened, or where he was. All he knew was his pain was intensified, and his sense of smell hadn't returned. The familiar youki that enveloped the cave was strong and angry, and he couldn't miss the hint of worry that he felt as well.

 

 

 

He tried to stand and stumbled back against the wall, sliding to the floor with a groan of pain. He reached around for Tetsusaiga and gasped.

 

 

 

It was gone.

 

 

 

The loud clatter of a sword hitting the ground and the soft, yet cold laughter made his back stiffen. The silver haired youkai standing in the mouth of the cave was drenched to the bone and his infuriation was apparent, and without a second thought, he walked up to InuYasha and gave him a strong blow in his stomach.

 

 

 

InuYasha growled and doubled over, holding his stomach and curling up into a ball when Sesshomaru crouched low and bared his fangs in anger. He took a few breaths before speaking. “How foolish are you? Do you realize your condition? Where is Kagome?”

 

 

 

“I don't know,” InuYasha spat out in a hoarse whisper, feeling the muscles in his neck contract painfully at the action.

 

 

 

Sesshomaru was seething, he didn't have to look at him to tell. He could hear his jaw ticking. “So you allowed her to venture off on her own? Do you realize what is happening to you both?”

 

 

 

InuYasha shook his head and whimpered. Even though Sesshomaru felt like killing him, he lifted his head and gave him something that tasted horrible. InuYasha flinched but didn't have the chance to cough it up, because Sesshomaru was forcing a piece of half cooked meat into his mouth. “How long have you been in this condition?”

 

 

 

InuYasha shrugged and sat up against the wall, still holding his stomach. The rain beating against the floor outside was playing havoc with his senses. “How would I know? About four days?”

 

 

 

Sesshomaru snorted and shot InuYasha a dark look. “I'm guessing you don't know you have transformed. Do you realize just how much danger you put yourself in, laying in the middle of nowhere without anything to protect you in your state?”

 

 

 

InuYasha winced and flattened his ear. “I . . .”

 

 

 

“You're youkai at this moment, baka, and unless we find Kagome quickly, you won't be hanyou any longer.”

 

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

 

“You'll die, baka! Unless we find Kagome, you'll eventually lose your sanity, and ultimately die. But that unless you don't die from your body breaking down . . . eat this, baka, and when the rain stops we'll be on our way.”

 

 

 

InuYasha choked the food down and whimpered. He felt his cheeks, wincing when his claws scraped the smooth skin of his crests on his cheeks. “Why did you come?”

 

 

 

“Why?” Sesshomaru shook his head and laughed, trying to make his anger die down. “Because I'm the only one who understands what's happening to you. I came because, the baka that you may be, you don't deserve to die, not yet.”

 

 

 

InuYashe grinned weakly. “Am I dying? Sesshomaru's actually showing a half-breed some affection?”

 

 

 

Sesshomaru's cheeks pinked but he didn't comment. He patted InuYasha's head and used the tip of his foot to push Tetsusaiga towards InuYasha. “Make sure you keep this with you, because when we find your woman, you'll need it. Understand?”

 

 

“Right.” He said evenly.

 

 

 

Sesshomaru sighed. “Rest as much as you need. When you awaken, we find Kagome.”

 

 

 

InuYasha didn't have to be told twice.

 

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A/N

 

 

Sorry for the incredibly short chapter, but I won't be able to update until Thursday evening. Read and Review, please! Enjoy!

 

 

 

Oh, and another thing, I've read a couple of volumes from the manga, and it makes it clear that if InuYasha doesn't transform back into his hanyou state quickly, he'll ultimately go insane, and eventually die. So, I just thought maybe I'll make this clear. Sorry I took so long to update.