InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I'm safe at home... aren't I? ❯ Enter the 1st Idiot Brigade ( Chapter 10 )

Hajimemashite and hello! Welcome to chapter ten. I hereby apologize in advance for whatever psychotic treatments you may have to undertake after reading this. Kagome14 and related affiliates have no legal connection to you if you read this and are not responsible for monetary issues. That being said, enjoy!

 

 

1st

Chapter Ten: Enter the ^ Idiot Brigade

(AN: Lovely way to begin, ne? ^^)

 

Sango slapped Miroku for the fourth time that morning, gave him a concussion with hiraikotsu for good measure, and sighed, exasperated. Without Inuyasha and Kagome here to distract him, that lech was getting worse by the hour.

 

Shippo rolled over in the taijiya's lap. Sango watched him and cradled his arms around him. The fox, despondent as usual from Kagome's absence, had refused to eat and almost constantly wailed ever since Kagome had left, which had been four days ago. Sango was getting worried about him; exhausted, he had cried himself to sleep in her lap a while ago. She slowly moved him next to Kirara, who was napping in the sun, and got up. The woman nudged Miroku with her foot. “Get up, hentai,” she told him, kicking him lightly in the side. The man groaned and sat up, rubbing the growing lump on his skull.

 

“Lady Sango, that was completely unnecessary,” he protested, standing. “I was merely attempting to reconcile-”

 

“Shut it, monk,” she said solemnly, biting back a laugh. “Come take a walk with me, I'm bored.”

 

He was immediately by her side, grasping her arm and generally acting like a lovesick man. “Let me escort thee, O fairest of maidens!” he cried gallantly, tugging her arm. Sango, with a tic mark on her forehead, slapped him again.

 

 

They had reached an unfamiliar clearing before they got tired, and the two sat next to each other on a log.

 

“Uh, Sango-” Miroku started, but was cut off by a shrill shriek.

 

“I said I was sorry for taking that walnut!” the newest arrival to the clearing screeched.

 

Miroku and Sango gasped as they got a closer look at the girl who had run into the clearing followed by hordes of squirrels.

 

She was short, only a little more than five feet tall, and had brown hair that frizzed out past her shoulders, topped by black ears with a white spot. She sported baggy pants that hid her feet, a tight black shirt, and an overcoat-type thing with a tiger embroidered on the back. Several expensive-looking rings with red stones in them graced her fingers, which had the nails on one hand cut short and the others long enough to be claws.

 

She screeched again as, together, the entire multitude of squirrels tackled her, knocking her to the ground, and swarmed over her, apparently searching for something.

 

As Miroku and Sango gasped even more, a dark, shadowic panther slunk into the clearing, looked at the girl almost hidden by squirrels, and… chuckled?! The pair on the log sat frozen, staring.

 

“Alright, alright, you've had your fun. Just find the walnut and get off her, you're making her even more braindead,” the panther told the squirrels as she transformed. Miroku and Sango gaped at the panther-demon.

 

She stood much taller than the other girl, making her about five foot nine. Her hair, a light brown, was cut short and waved out from her head. Her eyes were brown and usually sparkled with laughter. She was clad in interesting clothes: a red kimono decorated with Elvish runes in gold, combat boots, and many bracelets. Sporting black, shiny ears atop her head, she moved with the boneless grace of large cats, and a sheath at her belt suggested she had a sword she could- and did- use well.

 

She chuckled as one of the squirrels chattered something that sounded an awful lot like “Found it!!” and held up a small brown nut triumphantly. She walked over to the girl and pulled her up by one arm.

 

“Mara-chan,” she scolded, “didn't I tell you last time not to steal nuts from the squirrels?!”

 

“I only took one!” Mara whined. “And they had twenty already!”

 

“Still,” the obviously older girl replied, “you shouldn't have taken their walnut.”

 

“But Livi…”

 

“No buts,” Livi told her.

 

Miroku stifled laughter, and the noise alerted the girls to their presence. Mara spun and crouched low, claws glowing a bright green, and Livi's sword was immediately drawn and pointing at Miroku's throat. “What do you mean by watching us, monk,” she said softly, menacingly. “And you,” she added, pointing her sword at Sango.

 

Miroku raised his hands in a defensive position. “Ladies, ladies!” he protested. “My companion and I were merely taking a walk, and happened to watch your- interesting- performance.”

 

Livi slowly lowered her sword and Mara stood up straight, claws sliding back to their earlier positions. “Hi!” Mara said cheerily, bouncing up and down on the tips of her toes. “Who are you? What are your names? I'm Mara, and this is Livi.”

 

Sango laughed as the hyper girl spat out the words in less than ten seconds, and answered them more slowly. “I'm Sango, and this is Miroku. We're part of a demon-hunting group led by Inuyasha. I suppose you've heard of him, then?” she queried as Livi's eyes lit up at the name.

 

“Yes, we're, um… looking for him,” Livi replied slowly. “By the way, I'm a panther demon, and Lunatic here-” she jabbed a thumb at Mara, who was currently trying to catch a butterfly barehanded, “-is a tiger hanyou. We've been sent to find Inuyasha by one of our friends. Can you tell us where he is?” she questioned.

 

“I know where he is,” Mara chirped, suddenly at Livi's elbow. Miroku and Sango gaped at her. Did this girl know the secret of the well?!

 

“How in the hell do you know that, Mara?” drawled Livi.

 

“You'd know too, if you stopped ogling the monk,” retorted Mara. Livi did her imitation of a tomato. Miroku grinned, a sly idea forming in his head. “He's just exited a dried-up well and is currently heading toward a small village carrying a girl who seems to be… bleeding and sad.” Everyone gaped at Mara, and she grinned.

 

Miroku turned to Sango. “A young girl? Could Kagome be back?”

 

“Either that or he's picked up some of your bad habits, monk,” Sango laughed as she headed toward the village, Mara and Livi following her.

 

A crash, a thud, and a cry of “I'm okay! Ow…” alerted them to the fact that Mara had run into a tree. Livi bent over, holding her sides and laughing hysterically, and Sango and Miroku ran to see if the hanyou was okay.

 

They found her lying at the base of a tree, surrounded by broken twigs, under a body-shaped concave indentation in the trunk of the tree. (AN: @.@ lol) Sango rushed forward, crying, “Mara! Are you okay?!”

 

“Ouch… yeah, I'm okay, I swear I do this a lot!” she told them dizzily as she got up.

 

“Yes she does,” Livi commented, coming up behind them.

 

“Shurrup, Livi,” Mara muttered.

 

Confusion over, they started running back to the village, and their run was only interrupted by Mara running into two trees and a bush.

 

They stopped abruptly in front of Kaede's hut. A high, tinkling laugh emerged from within, along with Shippo' giggle. Sango burst through the door, crying, “Kagome!”

 

The girl looked up, startled, and jumped out of her seated position to hug Sango. “Hey, Sango,” she greeted her friend brightly, grinning.

 

“It's great to have you back, Kagome,” Sango told her, chuckling. “Without you and Inuyasha here to distract, Miroku has been-“

 

A scream, a loud crash, and yells of “You stupid bastard ifyouevertouchmeagainIwillKILLyou!!!” interrupted her, and Sango finished, “-more lecherous than usual,” with a sweatdrop.

 

“Wait,” Kagome said, a confused look on her face. “If you're in here… then who's Miroku feeling up?!” She was running outside before Sango could tell her who they had found.

 

Kagome stopped at an interesting scene: A tall girl with black ears was holding made with such good steel that blue rippled under the surface. She looked very mad, and the source, Miroku (as usual) was in a tree, groaning softly. A shorter girl sat nearby, laughing, and had black ears with a white spot.

 

“Um, excuse me-” Kagome started, staring. The black-eared girl whipped around, sword in a defense position.

 

“And you are…?” Livi asked politely.

 

Sango chose that moment to burst out of the house, crying, “Kagome, it's okay, they're with us, they-” She broke off when she saw Kagome playing with Mara's ears, while Livi looked on, amused.

 

“Ooookay,” Sango sighed. “Well, I guess you haven't been properly introduced…” Kagome shook her head, giggling as Mara nudged her hand for attention and continued to scratch her behind the ears.

 

Inuyasha emerged from the hut then, arms crossed, and, seeing the demons near Kagome, rushed forward and unsheathed Tetsuseiga. “Kagome, get back!!”

 

“Aaah!” Mara cried as Kagome abruptly stepped between her and Inuyasha.

 

“Stop it,” she told the hanyou, who came to a halt.

 

“Give me one good reason why I should,” was the curt answer.

 

“They're our friends,” she said, enraged at his tone.

 

“Allow us to introduce ourselves,” Livi told the bristling dog demon. “I'm Livi, and this is Mara. We've been sent to find Inuyasha, and, judging by the sword, you're him.”

 

“Yes, I'm Inuyasha,” he said slowly, sheathing his sword. “What do you want with me?”

 

“Inuyasha, how rude!” Kagome scolded. “We should invite them in for dinner first!”

 

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Livi, Mara, will you join us for dinner?” Kagome asked the demon and hanyou.

 

“We'd love to!” Mara said happily, perking up at the mention of food. “Do you have any sugar? Any sugar at all? Ramen has 2.367 grams of sugar; do you have any Ramen?” she asked quickly.

 

Livi snickered, then told Kagome, “If you have any Coke, it would calm her down…”

 

“Yeah, I have some Coke, I think,” Kagome contemplated. “And Ramen, too, lots of it, but you'll have to steal it from Inuyasha.”

 

Mara's eyes lit. “A fight for Ramen?” she cried. “Bring it on!”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Several cuts, a short scuffle, and a flood of cursing later, Mara, Livi, Inuyasha, Kagome, and everyone else sat around Kaede's fire. Mara held a cup of Ramen and was gleefully chugging a Coke, while around her lay an empty six-pack of the drink and several cups of Ramen. Inuyasha sulked in a corner, sporting claw-marks across one cheek that awaited Kagome's attention, and his haori was covered with a fresh coat of dust from being `sat' in the dirt of Kaede's floor.

 

“So, where did you ladies come from?” Miroku inquired, slurping noodles off of chopsticks.

 

“We came from America,” Livi replied.

 

“Yeah, America!” Mara echoed, spitting out bits of noodle from her over-stuffed mouth. “But we live in the fut-” She cut off abruptly as Livi slapped a hand over her mouth.

 

Everyone turned to stare at the two. “You're from the future?” Kagome whispered, shocked.

 

Livi sighed. “We hadn't meant to tell you till we had to leave, but here goes.” She took a deep breath and began.

 

“Our master, the famed Nick Edmunds, founder of the Gap, discoverer of the fleece hoodie, Odysseus's lover, maker of-”

 

Livi stopped with a strangled gasp as Mara wrapped one around her friend's neck. “Okay, okay!” Livi choked. “I'll stop, let me go!!” She inhaled deeply, hit Mara over the head for good measure, then continued.

 

“Maker of rainbow paint-”

 

“Livi!”

 

“Sorry, sorry. I just had to finish, you know. Anyway…

 

“Nick-no-danna sent us into the past by way of the Higurashi well, wearing amulets-” Here Livi produced a pink-orange amulet inscribed with words in Latin. “- that allow us to travel through the well and into your time. We were sent, Inuyasha, because our master is in dire peril and needs your assistance. Will you help him?” Her brown eyes were pleading; you could tell she really loved her master.

 

“What does he need help with?” Kagome asked curiously.

 

“We're not supposed to tell,” Livi said sadly.

 

“He said it was top-secret!” piped in Mara.

 

“So?” Livi inquired, looking at Inuyasha with rarely-seen hope in her eyes. “Will you help him, and us?”

 

The hanyou remained silent for a moment, then said bluntly, “No.”

 

“No?!” cried Livi, enraged. “Why no?!”

 

“What's in it for me?” he asked mildly, tapping his fingers and leaning back against the wall, looking like he had the upper hand and he knew it.

 

Livi slapped herself on the forehead. “DUH!” she yelled, mostly to herself. “I completely forgot to tell you! Danna has five Shikon shards promised to you if you complete the task.” Inuyasha perked up.

 

“Five?! Well, what are we waiting for?” he cried. “Let's go!”

 

“Now, hold on a moment, Inuyasha,” Miroku cautioned. “You should allow yourself time to prepare, of course. After all, you do not want to end up there without only Tetsuseiga in hand to find to find that you need stuff for a long journey.”

 

“You speak as if you think you're not going, monk,” Livi said mildly, staring off into the distance. “Of course, Inuyasha will require you all there. Nick-no-danna even suggested it.”

 

“FUN!!” Kagome squealed, somehow glomping Miroku, Sango and Shippo all at the same time. “Oh, I can't wait to show you guys my time! It's going to be such fun! Oh, I can't believe this. When are we going??”

 

“Tomorrow, if possible,” Livi responded calmly. “And now, I think Mara and I should bid you adieu and sleep outside. It's after sundown.”

 

“Yes, you are right, Livi,” agreed Miroku. “Sleep would be wise; otherwise we would have to be hugged tightly by Lady Kagome every few minutes.” His face was solemn but his eyes twinkled with the joke, and the miko stuck her tongue out at him.

 

Everyone bid each other good night, and Mara and Livi headed outside while everyone else leaned back against the walls and, watching the last embers die, fell asleep.

 

They awoke the next morning to a piercing scream. Inuyasha was immediately fully awake and on his feet with his hand on Tetsuseiga. Kagome hurriedly blinked sleep away and cried, “That sounded like Mara!” The scream died away and was replaced by two, one Mara's and one a foreign scream that no one had ever heard before.

 

“She's under attack!” Inuyasha cried, drawing Tetsuseiga in one smooth motion. Kagome and the others followed, each grabbing their own weapons.

 

What they saw they could not believe.

 

Mara clutched the arm of another hanyou and bounced up and down excitedly. They were squealing happily; that explained the screams. Inuyasha grasped his sword and took a closer look at the newcomer.

 

She was beautiful, with piercing dark eyes, honey-brown locks that tumbled past her shoulders and was topped by dog-ears closely matching Inuyasha's, but with a more honey color. She wore a sky-blue kimono patterned with doves, stilletoed sandals, and wore a silver locket on a matching chain around her neck. She was squeezing Mara around the neck, and Mara was slowly turning and trying to yell incoherent words. Afraid for his new friend's life, Inuyasha leapt to attack.

 

The new girl's nose quivered and she dropped Mara and jumped straight up, landing nimbly and sitting in Inuyasha's `dog sitting' position on Tetsuseiga. The hanyou's jaw dropped, along with everyone else's.

 

“Bad, bad puppy,” she scolded with a sultry wink.

 

“Wh-wh-who- Get off my sword!” he yelled, brandishing it and bouncing her off. She glared at him and stood in his direct path.

 

“Come on, pup, use Kaze no Kizu on me,” she taunted.

 

“Coming right up!” he yelled back. “Kaze no Kizu!”

 

The yellow lines of destruction raced toward the girl, and she smirked. As the attack reached her, she leapt nimbly and perched on the top of a tall pine nearby. The group could barely see her, a blue dot in the distance.

 

“Very good, puppy! You'll do nicely. Mara-chan, Livi-chan, tell the pup I'm not out to kill you all,” she called down.

 

Mara stumbled over to Inuyasha, bent over with laughter, and gasped, “It's- alright, Inuyasha. She's- with us.”

 

“Kelly-chan, come down from there!” Livi yelled up at the girl.

 

“Kay!” she yelled back. “I'm coming! Hold on!” She jumped out of the tree and landed lightly on her feet in front of Mara and Livi. “It's great to see you guys!” Kelly cried happily as she glomped them again and stepped back.

 

“It's great to see you, too, Kelly,” Livi sighed, “but did you have to wake everyone with your scream?”

 

“Yes,” she replied, grinning. “Anyway…” The girl turned to Inuyasha and glomped him, quickly stepping back out of range. “Hi! Who are you? Oh, you must be Inuyasha, I can tell by your smell you're half dog demon half human, I'm Kelly by the way, it's so great to see you, I've heard so much about you from Master Nick, he says he knows your brother, I've met him too, he seems like a really cool guy but you don't like him do you? Hi!” She said this all very fast and paused to inhale deeply to start again, causing Mara and Livi to groan and cover her mouth and their ears with their hands.

 

“Kelly, did you have sugar without me?” Mara asked, a quaver in her voice.

 

“Maybe….. Okay, I had eight Vanilla Cokes, four packs of Twizzler's, fourteen chocolate bars, the really big ones, and three bags full of Smarties. Now that I think about it I'm surprised I didn't jump to the moon when Inuyasha tried to attack me, I really am only in the second phase of my sugar high, Master Nick gave me five dollars to get myself something to eat and I got a lot of candy, I got fifty dollars worth of stuff but I handed the cashier a five and he let me have it all, wasn't that nice of him though, Master Nick sent me here to find you guys and I fell into a well and almost broke my neck, well at least now I found you guys! Master Nick says I'm really annoying in phase one, `specially since he's gay, so he sent me here to till it wears off, oh! I'm so glad you're here!”

 

“Kelly, SHUT UP!” Livi yelled, ears covered to shield them from the painful noise.

 

Mara looked over at the group, an apologetic look in her gold eyes. “Sorry,” she explained, “I forgot to mention that Kelly goes through phases when she's sugar-high: first she's really sexy and wants to screw everybody; second, she talking really fast, and third-” Mara was cut off her warning by an Indian war cry.

 

“Hey Mara will you fight me, come on, bring it on bitch, what about you, Inuyasha, come on, I'll take all of you at once!” Kelly cried, fire sparkling in her eyes. They just stared at her. “Oh! I know! I'll go fight SESSHY!!” She ran quickly off into the woods and left everyone gaping.

 

“She's going to fight Sesshy?” Mara whispered, eyes large and full of fear.

 

“And `Sesshy' is who?” Miroku inquired.

 

“It's our nickname for Sesshomaru,” Livi told them.

 

“She's going to get herself killed,” Kagome whispered.

 

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So! The mysterious, hyper new character named Kelly is off to fight Sesshy, followed by her loyal pals *laugh* ! Will Kelly actually be killed? Will the trip through the well afterwards kill them all?? Will Japan react kindly to the Sengoku Jidai group?!! WILL IT NEVER STOP?!?!?! Oh, the hoomanity!

 

~Kags14 out!