InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Inuyasha The Gum Shoe ❯ Scene 5 ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Scene 5

Outskirts of Osaka

April 14 8:21pm

Inuyasha left to go find Kouga's factory,but instead ran into someone…….unusual…..

Inuyasha starts walking down an alley around Kouga's factory, hoping the directions from that old lady with an eye patch was exact.


Inuyasha: Boy, this alleyway is creepy……..hope I don't run in into a strange weirdo like in other mystery stories….

As he walks past a garbage can, a little green man in a thrench coat and hat pops out.

Inuyasha: (Screams like a 5 year old girl) Holy crackers!…

(clears throat) Uh…I…I mean Feel My Fists Of Fury!

Jaken:( Talks in street voice) Hey! Eazy Buddy! I's just sellin' these…(Rips oven trench coat)

Inuyasha:( Turns face and puts up hands) Woah! I don't swing that way!
Jaken: The names Jaken and I got these exclusive baby monitors for five bucks each! Come on may! It's a sale! You can use em' for walkie talkies! Come on!!!
(Sounds like guy from Starsky and Hutch) Just do it! Do it!


Inuyasha: (Balls up fist) NO YOU CRACK BABY! I AIN'T BUYIN'
Inuyasha slams garbage can lid back on, hitting Jaken.

Inuyasha: (calmer now) Oh yeah! By any chance, would you know anything about some stolen earrings?
Jaken: (Stars around head) OUCH! OHHH…..For the love of mama's chicken pot pie! What's wrong with ya you mutt faced half breed!

Inuyasha gets angry and starts shaking up Jaken, making him drop money, a cat, his baby pictures, a camera, a knife, a stolen t.v, a truck load of baby monitors, the baby monitor truck, and Shippo.

Shippo: Now how did I get in there?!?!?!(walks off)

Inuyasha: (growls at Jaken) Look here you giant wart, you'll be leapin down a flight of stairs in a minute if you don't gimme some answers!
NOW!


Jaken: (timid voice) Sor…sorry……didn't…m..mean to ruffle your “Feathers!”
Heh heh…
Inuyasha:
Huh?!? Just gimme the info, or your gonna be catchin' a flight to palookavile! Got it, Kermit?!?
Jaken: (panics) Alright! Alright! Mr.pushpants…….look…(Looks around, behind Inuyasha and self) sometimes like tonight strange bird demons come here to Kouga's factory with a black briefcase and leaves without it.
Inuyasha: Interesting….anything else?
Jaken; (whispers) A woman named Ayame does inventory for Kouga…..she's like second in command when it comes to business!
Inuyasha: The plot thickens!

All of a sudden, a chicken pops out of Inuyasha's coat and lays an egg on his head. It then flies away as the egg immediately hatches showing an adorable baby chicken who says in an oddly manly voice “I don't wanna be a burden!”

Inuyasha: OH FOR THE LOVE OF RAMEN! I SAID THICKENS!!!! NOT CHICKENS!

The chicken then packs his bags, gets hat, and says(still in that odd manly voice) “Well then I know when I'm not wanted! I'm so outta here!"

Jaken : Is that all bub?!?! I would like to get on with my life if you don't mind!
Inuyasha: Huh? Oh yeah, your free to go…….
(Maybe I should stake out somewhere so I can find out if that toad was right……hmm….ah! That place looks decent enough!)


Our detective heads to a brothel joint across the street from the family and decides to wait in for something suspicious

-Now folk……is a brothel decent enough here?!? You be the judge

Inuyasha goes in the doors of the brothel and is surrounded by loud organ music and pretty women dancing on stage.


Inuyasha: Wow! This place is swingin'!

Just then, a woman from a far comes towards Inuyasha and is dumbstrucked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Inuyasha: (narrates in mind) She was a sexy dame, with long hair, crimson lipstick, and a long, expensive cigarette. She wore a sparkling dress…red…heh heh…my favorite! She was movin' slowly..heh heh….and……huh? Getting shorter??Huh?!? Wait a New York minute!!

The woman slowly approached him. She was cute, but she wasn't even big enough to be called a woman! More like a friggin dwarf! Oh hey! Inuyasha! Why don't you pay more attention and notice she's a child! A damn kid you rapist!

Inuyasha: Like I knew from where I saw her..

HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE IT, MAN!?! A BLIND MAN COULD SEE IT WWWAAAAAAYYYYY BEFORE YOU!

Inuyasha: Damn! Calm down man!

She only reaches up to your KNEE!!! You half wit! YOUR FRIGGIN KNEE!!!

Inuyasha: Get off my back! Don't you have something else better to do?!?

Fine! But don't come crying to me when the fuzz arrest your sorry ass for sexual charges you R.Kelly!

Inuyasha: You're my narrator so SHUT UP AND NARRATE!

- Can we get on with the story?! Damn, you've been arguin' for hours!

Sorry…

Inuyasha: Feh

-
Oh shut up, you pervert…

Rin: Hey honey, I'm Rin (blows smoke) Wanna have some fun?

Inuyash:
Heh heh.....Ah, sorry sweets......I'm...uh...married!
Rin:Awww....too bad....your a cutie!

Inuyasha:
uhhh.....how old are you?!?
Rin: I'm ten and a half, but I know how to please a man if you know what I mean!
Inuyasha:
OOOOOOOOOOO Look at the time! It's close to my drinking hour! See you later!

Inuyasha hurries over to the bar and a person he thought he would never see again, but was wrong, pops up like a jack in the box....literally!

Miroku: Why, look what the cat dragged in!

Inuyasha:Miroku?!?! Oh no.....I...I mean Hey! What are you doing here?(Like fi I had to ask
)
Miroku: Why I work here! Gotta put the bacon on the table you know!

Inuyasha:
So can i get a drink?
Miroku:
Ah.....NO!
Inuyasha: DAMMIT!.......Okay.....I'll have a glass of water......AGAIN!

I'll add more later........so be patcient!
Scene 5

Outskirts of Osaka

April 14 8:21pm

Inuyasha left to go find Kouga's factory,but instead ran into someone…….unusual…..

Inuyasha starts walking down an alley around Kouga's factory, hoping the directions from that old lady with an eye patch was exact.


Inuyasha: Boy, this alleyway is creepy……..hope I don't run in into a strange weirdo like in other mystery stories….

As he walks past a garbage can, a little green man in a thrench coat and hat pops out.

Inuyasha: (Screams like a 5 year old girl) Holy crackers!…

(clears throat) Uh…I…I mean Feel My Fists Of Fury!

Jaken:( Talks in street voice) Hey! Eazy Buddy! I's just sellin' these…(Rips oven trench coat)

Inuyasha:( Turns face and puts up hands) Woah! I don't swing that way!
Jaken: The names Jaken and I got these exclusive baby monitors for five bucks each! Come on may! It's a sale! You can use em' for walkie talkies! Come on!!!
(Sounds like guy from Starsky and Hutch) Just do it! Do it!


Inuyasha: (Balls up fist) NO YOU CRACK BABY! I AIN'T BUYIN'
Inuyasha slams garbage can lid back on, hitting Jaken.

Inuyasha: (calmer now) Oh yeah! By any chance, would you know anything about some stolen earrings?
Jaken: (Stars around head) OUCH! OHHH…..For the love of mama's chicken pot pie! What's wrong with ya you mutt faced half breed!

Inuyasha gets angry and starts shaking up Jaken, making him drop money, a cat, his baby pictures, a camera, a knife, a stolen t.v, a truck load of baby monitors, the baby monitor truck, and Shippo.

Shippo: Now how did I get in there?!?!?!(walks off)

Inuyasha: (growls at Jaken) Look here you giant wart, you'll be leapin down a flight of stairs in a minute if you don't gimme some answers!
NOW!


Jaken: (timid voice) Sor…sorry……didn't…m..mean to ruffle your “Feathers!”
Heh heh…
Inuyasha:
Huh?!? Just gimme the info, or your gonna be catchin' a flight to palookavile! Got it, Kermit?!?
Jaken: (panics) Alright! Alright! Mr.pushpants…….look…(Looks around, behind Inuyasha and self) sometimes like tonight strange bird demons come here to Kouga's factory with a black briefcase and leaves without it.
Inuyasha: Interesting….anything else?
Jaken; (whispers) A woman named Ayame does inventory for Kouga…..she's like second in command when it comes to business!
Inuyasha: The plot thickens!

All of a sudden, a chicken pops out of Inuyasha's coat and lays an egg on his head. It then flies away as the egg immediately hatches showing an adorable baby chicken who says in an oddly manly voice “I don't wanna be a burden!”

Inuyasha: OH FOR THE LOVE OF RAMEN! I SAID THICKENS!!!! NOT CHICKENS!

The chicken then packs his bags, gets hat, and says(still in that odd manly voice) “Well then I know when I'm not wanted! I'm so outta here!"

Jaken : Is that all bub?!?! I would like to get on with my life if you don't mind!
Inuyasha: Huh? Oh yeah, your free to go…….
(Maybe I should stake out somewhere so I can find out if that toad was right……hmm….ah! That place looks decent enough!)


Our detective heads to a brothel joint across the street from the family and decides to wait in for something suspicious

-Now folk……is a brothel decent enough here?!? You be the judge

Inuyasha goes in the doors of the brothel and is surrounded by loud organ music and pretty women dancing on stage.


Inuyasha: Wow! This place is swingin'!

Just then, a woman from a far comes towards Inuyasha and is dumbstrucked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Inuyasha: (narrates in mind) She was a sexy dame, with long hair, crimson lipstick, and a long, expensive cigarette. She wore a sparkling dress…red…heh heh…my favorite! She was movin' slowly..heh heh….and……huh? Getting shorter??Huh?!? Wait a New York minute!!

The woman slowly approached him. She was cute, but she wasn't even big enough to be called a woman! More like a friggin dwarf! Oh hey! Inuyasha! Why don't you pay more attention and notice she's a child! A damn kid you rapist!

Inuyasha: Like I knew from where I saw her..

HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE IT, MAN!?! A BLIND MAN COULD SEE IT WWWAAAAAAYYYYY BEFORE YOU!

Inuyasha: Damn! Calm down man!

She only reaches up to your KNEE!!! You half wit! YOUR FRIGGIN KNEE!!!

Inuyasha: Get off my back! Don't you have something else better to do?!?

Fine! But don't come crying to me when the fuzz arrest your sorry ass for sexual charges you R.Kelly!

Inuyasha: You're my narrator so SHUT UP AND NARRATE!

- Can we get on with the story?! Damn, you've been arguin' for hours!

Sorry…

Inuyasha: Feh

-
Oh shut up, you pervert…

Rin: Hey honey, I'm Rin (blows smoke) Wanna have some fun?

Inuyash:
Heh heh.....Ah, sorry sweets......I'm...uh...married!
Rin:Awww....too bad....your a cutie!

Inuyasha:
uhhh.....how old are you?!?
Rin: I'm ten and a half, but I know how to please a man if you know what I mean!
Inuyasha:
OOOOOOOOOOO Look at the time! It's close to my drinking hour! See you later!

Inuyasha hurries over to the bar and a person he thought he would never see again, but was wrong, pops up like a jack in the box....literally!

Miroku: Why, look what the cat dragged in!

Inuyasha:Miroku?!?! Oh no.....I...I mean Hey! What are you doing here?(Like fi I had to ask
)
Miroku: Why I work here! Gotta put the bacon on the table you know!

Inuyasha:
So can i get a drink?
Miroku:
Ah.....NO!
Inuyasha: DAMMIT!.......Okay.....I'll have a glass of water......AGAIN!

iroku: So anyways, what are you doing here?
Inuyasha: (drinks water) stakeout!
Miroku: Explain...
Inuyasha: (Puts down water) I'm here so I can keep an eye on that factory across from here....I got a good lead and I'm-(pretty woman walks past)...I'm....I'm....WHO'S THAT?!?

Miroku: Oh her, shes the cat's pajamas!

Tjat's Ayame Hotpants. She's quite a looker isn't she? But she's off limits...thats Kouga's gale, or so they say. What I wouldn't give to shine those shoes, but my heart belongs to another.....My Sango...*sigh*


(Back at Sango's place)

Sango: .......that's strange.....I felt a disturbance somehow like some idiot I know called my name...
Kirara: Meow(Translation: Miroku's a mother F*****)

(Back at the brothel)

Inuyasha: Boy, she's a beaut! Looks like a real classy dame!
Miroku: Watch your demon berries! She's dangerous, matter of fact, it's her middle name!(Holds up Ayame "Dangerous" Hotpants' birth cetificate)

Inuyasha: (Narrates in his mind and cuts off every word Miroku said) She was one of those classy red hair high class girls, Mamma always said rea heads were nothing but trouble! Them eyes,emeral eyes, with that ivory silk.....LOOK AT THOSE CURVES! *Wistles*

Yea......

Miroku: Hello! Earth to Yasha!!!! You spaced out on me for a good 20 minutas, man!
Inuyasha:......huh?.....oh yea......13......sure......Hey! Is she a brothel girl?
Miroku: HECK NO! She only sings here, and let me tell you, her voice is Muy Bien!
Inuyasha: I don't speak French..... (Gets up and leaves)
Miroku: *Sigh*.......Spanish you nitwit! IT WAS SPANISH!