InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Thoughts Before You ❯ Dear My Love ( Prologue )

Dear My Love,

 

It's been five months since you left my side; the days have all been blended into one giant eternity. I am so afraid right now. I'm afraid because I can't wait for you and I know you're not waiting for me. You're away at college living up to the potential I know that you have, despite what you say you will do something great with your life, while you are off doing that I am here alone, dieing inside. Don't feel guilty my love. There isn't a thing I would change about what happened to us. I knew that we were fragile and that the day would come when you finally had to go. It took me a while to realize that time isn't going to wait for us. There is so much more I could say but for once in my life I will be quiet.

 

The day is now fading into evening and as I look out on to the peaceful land from my bed room window I remember all the colors that were in your eyes and how this beautiful sunset could never compete with them. I could have stared into those golden eyes of yours forever; with out their warmth Christmas has never been so cold. I don't understand how no one else realized the care you could compel towards another person but no one has to tell me how lucky I am that I realized it before you had to go, I wished I could have saw sooner. How was I supposed to know? We grew up next door to one another and you were always so silent and unforgiving. You hated me, I could sense the vibes. The one day we got pinned together during initiation my freshman year, your bother had drug you along anyways and when I fell out of the back of the truck you caught me, something clicked between us on that fateful night. Ever sine you always caught me, like when my father died. As soon as the words had left my mouth you rushed to my side to hold me as I fell apart in your arms. My friends said I was too good for you when I started to fall. Now they have all abandoned me when I need them most.

 

Remember when you left? We were at the airport, trying to talk about everything but the fact that I was never going to see you again, you yourself told me that short of a miracle you weren't coming back to this hellish void called Evanston. Just as I was heading back to my car it started to rain. I went to try and protect my hair but you pulled me towards you. I didn't move as you stood there holding me tightly in your embrace your fingers enveloped in my hair that was the last time I felt your embrace. The rain didn't matter anymore

 

Do you miss me? Are you thinking about me? Are you falling apart thinking about what could and couldn't have been? I remember when you climbed the tree outside my window and tapped on my window. It was the first time I had ever snuck out of my house. You took me down the road and we walked to the Race tracks and sat in the stands talking about everything and nothing as the sun came up. That was my first sun rise.

 

Now I see sun rises far too often. I wake up feeling sick, I eat odd things, and smells I used to love make me hurl. Right now I feel closer to you than I have ever been despite the miles between us, but I have told myself that it's over, but I will stay strong. For one reason and one reason alone, and that is the child growing inside of me. The child that you and I created on that night of love that I know neither of us will forget. My mother told me to give it up but I told her it was the last bit of proof I had that the two of us had ever been and this baby would have to be ripped from my cold dead fingers. Which is why I'm not living there anymore, if you ever want to talk to me I'm living in the stone apartment in downtown Evanston. I love you Inuyasha.

 

Love Kagome.

 

Kagome looked at the finished copy and eyed it wearily before tossing it in the trash. She had written thousands of letters following the same lines but never would she send them. Never would she make Inuyasha feel like he was in the wrong, and never would she ask him to come home. To give up his dreams and be with her as she tried to keep her head above water, this baby was worth it though.

 

She rubbed her stomach as he little son, whom she hoped looked identical to Inuyasha, offered her a kick.