InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Oden Shop ❯ Koshosho; White like Innocence ( Chapter 12 )

Koshosho; White like Innocence

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

Kagome had arranged a meeting in a café, she was waiting for Rin.

The telephone conversation was cut short, she didn't want to hear the sweetness of Rin's voice or her cute lisp over some words, but still she had to know, she had to see her face, so she arranged a meeting at the café.

She waited for about ten minutes until she suddenly felt a youkai aura entering the room, she looked up to find a familiar face but she found none, stepping in into the café, was a delicate beauty in white, a childlike face of a woman who was searching for someone in the café, she caught Kagome's eyes and her face shone with warm smile.

This adolescent-like beauty was quite tall, taller than Kagome but she was slender, giving her height a graceful appearance, her shining long brown hair was curled cutely with pony, which was a bit blown by the wind making it rest at the sides, giving her hair a slight cute disheveled look, the imperfectness of it was quite appealing, she had a tiny face with everything cute and tiny in it, tiny nose, tiny pouted lips, tiny slight of rounded cheekbones, only her light brown eyes were big, and bright, and beautiful, with heavy dark lashes adorning it, she had a high arched eyebrows and a vulnerable white temple, this was not an image of a beautiful woman but an angel.

The angel, who was wearing white coats and underneath it white attire, strolled towards her, wearing a big smile, still looking at her she knocked a waiter down, a glass of water stained her perfect white coat, she turned beet red and helped the man she just knocked down, and then she brushed the stain on her coat while giving Kagome an apologetic glance for waiting for her, she continued strolling to her and this time she almost fell down herself, knocking someone sitting on a chair, she rubbed her offended thigh and bowed her apology numerous time, one could actually hear an adoring sigh across the café, there was nothing more beautiful than a clumsy angel.

Could one hate someone like her? One could. Kagome imagined how Sesshoumaru looked at the girl, the youkai girl, a pure inu-youkai breed.

She couldn't help herself but she had to blurt it out, the moment the angel stood in front of her, she opened her mouth, voicing her accusation, "you're not Rin."

The girl gaped at her, bit shocked, and then she fluttered her eyes sadly, which made Kagome almost regretted her action.

"Please sit down, I'm sorry, I knew Rin, even though it was five hundred years ago, but I remembered her features all too well, and yours, well, you are beautiful but it just won't fit," Kagome sighed, "now I'm being rude, excuse me please, let me first introduce myself, my name is Kagome, Higurashi Kagome."

The white curly angel sat down happily and started chattering in her sweet voice, "I already know about you, Kagome nee-chan, Shippou-chan told me so much about you." As she said this her curls bounced lightly from her excitement, and then she knocked a sugar jar accidentally with her hand.

"Oh I'm sorry, sorry, this is just like," she paused, blushing in embarrassment, "actually I'm not usually this clumsy, maybe it was jetlag?" she scratched her head cutely, "but it was already two days ago," she bit her lip, as if feeling guilty.

"Maybe the effect lasted longer on you," Kagome offered politely.

The angel smiled sheepishly, "I'm actually very clumsy, all the time, sorry that I lied to you, ne Kagome nee-chan?" She tilted her head asking this, her eyes were looking at Kagome pleadingly.

"Please just call me Kagome." She just couldn't stand the girl calling her like that, like the way Rin used to call her, maybe she was Rin, after turning into a youkai, and she didn't want to know how, her features changed completely.

"Kagome-chan," the girl paused and looked sadly again, "you were right, I'm not Rin, I wish though that I am but…I'm sorry, let me introduce myself, my name is Koshosho, Ando Koshosho and the reason I'm addressing myself as Rin is-"

The waiter asked her if she would like a drink and she panicked, "oh no I haven't seen the menu yet, oh wait please," she said nervously and started to reach for the menu, studying it endearingly, she decided for hot cocoa (AN: well what else *grimace*).

"I love hot cocoa, of course I love milk coffee too, but I can't stand caffeine, they always made me feel restless, and sometimes after drinking coffee I kept prattling and prattling-- just like what I do know, sorry," she tilted her head to the side and murmured to herself, lost in her thought, "even though I didn't drink any this morning."

"Koshosho-chan, it's okay, you shouldn't apologize for yourself all the time."

"Sorry, Kagome-chan, oh no, I did it again." Kagome shook her head, smiling gently, "It's okay, Koshosho-chan, I know this need for apologizing, I myself-, her voice faltered, -was like that too, once."

"Kagome-chan, I think I like you, I couldn't help but like you, you're such a good person, no wonder Sesshoumaru-sama…" she paused and hid her her eyes and she looked up again, gazed tenderly at Kagome, "Shippou-chan told me a lot about you, and I couldn't help but feeling sad."

"It must have been hard, all these years of separation, and to lose everyone you loved because of one wish." Kagome didn't need her to tell her that, she felt as if each word stabbing through her chest, Koshosho must have sensed this, she added instantly, "but you found Shippou again, that's why you will never be lonely again, so will Shippou-chan too."

Koshosho dropped her head again, "even though that Shippou-chan had to wait for five hundred years…" she raised her head up, "that's okay, what's important is now, now tell me about you, and Inuyasha, that was so romantic, all your adventures with him and that in the end he confessed that he loved you, Kagome-chan, you must tell me all about him, I never met him before, did he look like Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Did this girl know what she was saying? Kagome felt weaker by every passing word she uttered, but she knew she couldn't blame her, for outsider, her story with Inuyasha must have looked like a sad love story, one would shed her tears over such things, but one would never really know what Kagome had really lost.

But Koshosho was in a dreaming state now, and she continued to prattle ecstatically, "all those adventurous journeys, and that horrible miko, who was always standing between you and Inuyasha, but in the end he chose you. Hah! That taught her for sure. And in the end to give up the wish on Inuyasha, that was so romantic! I know I couldn't do that, I mean, if I had the Shikon, I would've wished that everyone I loved to be happy, aaaahh… no… not that I'm accusing you as selfish, I'm so sorry, Kagome-chan, it's just that I was so caught up in your love story… gomen…"

Kagome smiled patiently, "that's okay, Koshosho-chan, I was in fact selfish, there's no need for you to apologize."

Koshosho sniffled, tears were hanging in the corners of her eyes, the tip her nose reddened slightly. "I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have said anything, now I brought back memories that saddened you."

"Baka…" Kagome whispered softly, Koshosho looked up, she was a bit shocked and then she giggled, embarrassed, "I know, Shippou-chan told me that all the time."

"Sorry, Koshosho-chan, I didn't mean to offend you, I was only trying to stop you from feeling guilty by the things you said, and of course I would tell you about Inuyasha, where should I start, his feature was a bit like Sesshoumaru, he had a pair of cute dog ears, his hair was silver and his eyes golden, he loved ramen above all things, and he wore red kimono made from fire rat fur, he loved to sleep on tree-branch, and I bet Shippou told you about the subduing beads, didn't he?" Koshosho nodded and giggled, Kagome smiled and continued, "Inuyasha's good traits were his protectiveness and his compassion, even though he didn't show it openly, but he was also indecisive and ill-mannered."

Kagome paused, their drinks were coming, they thanked the waiter absently as Kagome continued, "so, that's all I can come up with, but I think Shippou had told you about our adventures already, hadn't he?"

Koshosho nodded vehemently, but before she could reply, Kagome asked her firmly, "Koshosho-chan you mentioned earlier, you knew Rin? Then why did you address yourself as-"

Koshosho cut in, "Rin died when she was twelve."

Kagome's eyes went wide, Koshosho continued her story, "let me tell you about myself first, my father, an inu-youkai, was an old friend of Sesshoumaru-sama, his name was Ando Yoshifumi, when I was a child he often took me to Sesshoumaru-sama's fortress and that was the first time that I met Rin, she was in her human age in the same age as I was in my demon age, she was ten when I first met her."

She paused, her eyes moistened a bit, "She was so sweet, even though she was ningen she didn't fear me and we became the best of friends, I visited her a lot during that time and I often spent the night at Sesshoumaru-sama's fortress to accompany her, we both lost our mother, I mean I lost my mother when I was still a baby but Rin lost her parents but I think she thought of Sesshoumaru-sama as her father."

"As we both lost our mother we would take turn to pet each other like a mother would, she brushed my hair and chose me my clothing as I did the same for her, we both learned to read together under Sesshoumaru-sama's tutoring," she blushed a little, "and sometimes we presented our haiku-creation for the change of season before our fathers, Sesshoumaru-sama gave us no comment but I could see how his eyes twinkled with pride when we wrote something original, he once gave me a sakura branch for my haiku and I kept it in a-" she sobered and suddenly flushed.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away, it's no good talking about the past someone once told me, but the past was something like a precious jewel for me, something to look at and then to be locked away, but one could never really satisfy herself with just one look, so I began to look at it everyday and each time I would always change the angle of the stone to catch a different view of it." She stopped and blushed while Kagome looked at her admiringly.

"Koshosho-chan," Kagome began, "it certainly is a beautiful art to keep one's memory, but wouldn't it change the truth of the story?"

"For me the truth of the past was so unbearable painful that I have to narrate my own joy in them, maybe lost myself in my own creation." Koshosho looked away sadly as Kagome's eyes went wide with realization.

Why did affection hurt people? To sort your affection was painful, to name it, to give it away, to hide it, to express it, all these actions hurt, it was like a paradox of emotion.

"Kagome-chan, I'm sorry I never meant to bring out a sad atmosphere, let me continue with my story, it was in autumn when we both were twelve, Sesshoumaru-sama and my father went in search for a sword, it was called 'White Cloud', made by a swordsmith named Masatoshi from the Muramasa school, it was said that 'a Muramasa blade always has something evil about it, and once it leaves its scabbard, it never returns to it without first seeing blood', Sesshoumaru-sama was quite obsessed with this blade, after he had given up his father's sword, Tetsusaiga, he was always in search for swords that equaled Tetsusaiga's power, even Tokijin wasn't as powerful as Tetsusaiga. We didn't know how long they would be away, but Rin and I were happy to share each other's company as we had the fortress to ourselves, we were giddy with excitement, but in the end of the third day we were tired of our explorations of the castle, so we decided to do something- bolder…"

Koshosho's voice shook as she continued, "we should never have left the barrier of the fortress, I would never forgive myself for consenting to the adventure, when we were out there," she choked a sob, "suddenly a snake youkai attacked us, I was able to defend myself a little, my wounds didn't matter but Rin…"

"After two weeks, when he came back he knew that something was wrong, I couldn't look at him in the eyes, and I was feeling so guilty that I was healing fast, but he… he didn't say anything, he just locked himself away in one of his chambers."

"Days passed until they became weeks and months, but he still wouldn't come out, he had put a barrier that none of us could break. In the end of the second months after he locked himself I came to a decision, what was my individuality compared to his pain? It was a mere insignificance, that was when I spoke to him through the barrier addressing myself as Rin… was I wrong, Kagome-chan? Was that really wrong? I had to do anything because I lo-"

Koshosho stopped and fidgeted uncomfortably, looking away guiltily, Kagome hid her eyes, she didn't want Koshosho to see what was in her eyes, it was one thing to be mean but to act mean over something like this, was unforgivable, how could she show her jealousy, when she had done nothing for him?

"He responded, actually he was shocked, his eyes showed as much, but then he looked at me kindly, and that was when I decided, what was a name? What was a personality? What was a heritage? He looked at me kindly." Koshosho emphasized her last sentence by looking at Kagome boldly.

But then she looked away again, suddenly feeling weary, "but he had never addressed me as Rin, actually he never addressed me by any names when I talked to him, I always addressed myself as a third person that is as Rin in that matter."

"He would never look at me the way he looked at Rin , because I'm not human, do you understand Kagome-chan? Because I'm not human, I couldn't be and never would be her replacement."

Kagome looked up in shock, 'deceitful' it was something he had said, yes, she was indeed deceitful, if not then how could she see the deceit in front of her now? Was it not because she was corrupted herself that she was able to smell corruptness when it was around? Did it not take an evil person to recognize the vice of another? The scales fell from her eyes, she was corrupted all along, she now understood that it was something about purity that always seemed to bother her, to be something that she could never be, she was indeed a woman, pure was she not, never have been and never wanted to.

Kagome stood up, brushed Koshosho's cheek tenderly with the back of her hand and gently tucked the strayed curl away from her temple, she conducted herself almost sisterly towards her, and then she bended her body and leaned closer to her, whispering for her ears only, sotto voce,

"I'm sorry but I can't give him up to you."

With that she straightened herself up, smiled at her and asked, "This is your treat, right?" She left the café.

Koshosho looked quite surprised for a moment, and then she smiled; the sudden seductiveness of her aura was compelling. She paid the bill, thanked herself graciously and swayed elegantly out from the café.

~*~

That night when Kagome returned to the apartment, she couldn't wait to see him, to tell him that she would fight for him now, she must prove to him to what extent her love to him was worth, because he chose her and she had consented and in return chose him, because there would never be another heartbreak, there was a good story in love as well as a sad one too, but there would always be happy endings.

But before she could say anything he presented her a beautifully wrapped package, he did this often, when he was five minutes late or more from coming home, he would always purchase her things, in a way it was his way for saying insignificant apology.

She opened it carefully, saving its wrapping, and he grinned expectantly.

When she saw what was in the packaging, a sentence crossed her mind and clung to her brain like an additive cell, it terminated every feeling of joy in her heart.

% Because I'm not human, I couldn't be and never would be her replacement. %

He had given her a colored stationery set and a coloring book. This was not funny anymore.

*end of chapter*

Haiku: a three-line poem of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

AN: I would really, really like to know if you readers like or dislike Koshosho, so which one is it? Do you like her or you don't?

And I still need your reviews, please be kind to consent me this wish.

Daniy: Aaahhh… no… don't hate me, the last one was the last cliffy, I promise, although this chapter might look like one too, but it's not, really, I swear! Love your review, like always, it reminded me why I have to wait hours to get my share of the laptop, lots of love and don't forget to update, kay?

LadySessho: Yeah *blush* this story might have some criminal tendency, but… that's the way Sesshoumaru is, right? Right? *sigh* no comment, huh? Don't worry though, before he did anything to Kagome, I'll sacrifice myself in her place first! Nope, I know, that wasn't a good argument. Thank you for the most creative review ever, *bow back to you and your crew*

Mystic Hanyou: Sesshoumaru and Captain Nemo, I really can see the resemblance, they were both cold, intelligent and strong, but Sess is definitely the better looking one, thank you for your nice review.

White Tiger Princess: sorry, sorry, I promise, no more attempt of cliffy, thank you for your review.

Gale89: hai, hai, I'll update.

For the post reviewer in a single spark:

Sesshoumaru Tue's Love: thank you for your nice review, glad you like this fic.

Himeno: Sess might be a little too possessive over Kag, okay, maybe not just a little, but I guess Kagome would need such attention after the quizas-quizas act from Inu. Thank you for the wonderful review.

Kura: thank you for the nice review.

Syrinx: okay, I admit it myself, in real life this kind of attention from Sess would scare me away too, and if any guy shows his affection in such draining exploitation, then one could only detest it, but the thing is, we love sess because he is cold, but can love strongly, and the way to describe the power of his affection was to narrate his possessive conduct. But you're right, this kind of possessiveness is dangerous, and it was sweet of you to try to like him from the way I wrote it. Your opinion is always important for me, because I draw inspiration from it; many, many thanks are all I can offer in return.

Bob-kun: Thank you, glad that you view this fiction as domestically adventurous, and thank you that you even took the time to review it.