InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Oden Shop ❯ The Chapter of Lost Innocence ( Chapter 13 )

The Chapter of Lost Innocence

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

Lullaby

You have only five minutes

Until I turn out the lights.

Because the poem for which you waited all day

Isn't there, just count what is.

So: tired books on the table,

Plants have folded up their

leaves are now asleep,

The TV is buzzing and above the table a moth flutters,

Fatally in love with light.

Only a minute now. Thirty seconds.

I'm naked and in bed now, I hear you:

Ten… Nine… but- haven't I forgotten- Four…

Three… but now it is- Two… and for that, too,

It's too late. I can only shut tight my wings

And hope you'll wake me at- Zero.

Ales Steger (translated by Brian Henry and the author)

********************************************************* **************

Flashbacks of occurrences ran into Kagome's mind, the pillows on each side of her when she was sleeping, the bear, the censorship, all the sweet flaws of his show of affection, only that they were not sweet anymore now, they were downright bitter, maybe… maybe it was sweet for someone else…

So she acted bitter and vengeful as she asked, "show me a sword which I heard you had attained, what was its name again? Ah… yes… it was 'White Cloud'?"

Sesshoumaru eyes went wide in shock; he dropped his head as he answered, "I don't have it anymore."

"Why? I would like to know about it, it was quite a legend, I heard."

"It was evil, I had to destroy it," he answered with a threatening voice, daring her to continue as his eyes glittered dangerously.

"But Sesshoumaru," Kagome laughed cruelly, "Tokijin was evil! 'White Cloud' was only used in wars; Tokijin was made out of jealousy and had killed many innocents."

His hand closed over her neck slowly, feeling the sweet pulse under her tender skin, pressing it slightly. She had seen his movement, she had even anticipated it.

"And I once thought how fragile she is, with one push of my thumb I could feed on her soul, would you like that, Kagome? But I'm not tired of you yet."

She smiled viciously at him, eyeing his hand on her neck, lifting her eyes slowly to meet his, "but I am."

He inhaled sharply, his hand froze on her neck, and then he clamped his lips hard on her, forcing his way in her mouth as if searching for her soul, and she bit his tongue hard, he jerked back and said in strangled voice, "take that back."

"Never," she spat, "I'm tired of you! Do as you wish, now!"

"Kagome," he hissed and suddenly he sniffed the air, "I can smell your arousal, wench. Tell me, why are you wet over someone you're tired of?" He asked her in a cruel voice, kneeling, bringing his head to press against her sex. She instantly cried out desperately, "no!"

"Kagome?" Now his eyes looked confused, seeing her cry he stood up and took her in his embrace, "darling, forgive me, forgive me…" he murmured again and again against her hair.

"No, no, no!" Kagome shook her head as she tried to free herself, "you didn't prepare me, how could you? Why did you never tell me anything? I told you everything but you wouldn't share anything, what am I supposed to think of you now, what am I supposed to think about myself? What am I to you, dammit?!!"

"Kagome," he tightened his embrace, "what is it? What do you mean what you are to me? Wasn't that obvious? I love you, you should've known this, if not," his voice slightly weakened as he continued, "would I allow you to torture me like this?"

"Rin… then tell me about her, tell me, Sesshoumaru." Kagome looked up at him pleadingly.

And her heart shattered as he let her go abruptly.

"I can't… no…" He shook his head repeatedly as he hid his eyes from her.

She headed for the door. "Goodbye," she whispered to him as she closed the door quietly behind her.

~*~

Shippou was on his way back home when he sighted her waiting for him.

"Koshosho!" He laughed happily as he hugged her, "when did you come back from Paris? Why didn't you tell me? I could've picked you up from the airport, oh bugger that! You're here now, how are you, little princess?"

Koshosho smiled sadly as she returned his hug.

"Ee? What is it, Koshosho? Ah I know, someone in Paris had broken your heart, huh? Now tell me where he lives, so I can track him down and beat the crap out of him." Shippou ruffled her curls tenderly as he searched her face.

"Shippou-chan," she looked up sadly, her eyes were teary, "you know that the only one who could break my heart is…"

"Koshosho…" Shippou stroked her cheek, "come on, we need a drink."

They went to a small quiet bar where they could talk, once they sat down, Shippou studied her face, "so, you know about Kagome and Sesshoumaru?" He asked carefully, all the while he was holding her hand, tracing the pattern of her prints.

Koshosho pulled back her hand slowly, "I guess I already knew about them the moment you called me that you found your Okaa-san back, and when I saw her today-"

"Wait, you saw Kagome today? Koshosho, what did you tell her?" He asked her sternly.

She pouted, "I only told her what's needed to be told and by the way I don't think she was affected at all, your Okaa-san is not as fragile as you think."

Shippou chuckled as he answered her, "So are you."

She pouted cutely but then her gaze was suddenly clouded over, "but I can't hate her. Even though they were now mates, but Shippou-chan, I don't want to give up…"

"Ko-sho-sho." Shippou admonished her again though gently this time.

"No, I won't give up, I just won't, it's just not right, Shippou-chan." She fisted her small hands as her tears began to stream freely down her cheeks.

She shook her head, "you know too that she hadn't gotten over Inuyasha yet and I just won't allow her to treat Sesshoumaru-sama as his replacement, I just won't!"

"Koshosho," Shippou began gently, "but why did you let yourself be her replacement?"

"It's my right! After all this is my life to do as I like, isn't it?!" She cried angrily.

"Sou, then why did you deny him his right to love her regardless whatever reason?"

"Because I love him, I love him for five hundred years and she wasn't even there when he was lost, what had she done for him before?! I don't care how much he loves her; she just doesn't love him enough!" She broke down and wept bitterly, oblivious to her surrounding.

Shippou tried to glare down some prying gaze they were collecting in the bar, when he succeeded to scare down the viewer he moved to another chair next to Koshosho and pulled her into his embrace, he soothed her whispering sweet words of comfort.

"Shippou-chan, why doesn't the one I love so much love me back? I would give my life to him, but why doesn't he want it? Why can't he love me back?" She asked him heartbreakingly and Shippou felt how his heart constricted painfully as he continued to hold her.

~*~

Kagome didn't know how she found herself in the park, as she looked in the darkness of the surrounding she began to feel the coldness that was there before, she had thought that it was gone and once it was gone she had thought that it would never come back, it wasn't coldness because of the chilliness in the air, it was coldness out of her emptiness.

She sat down on a bench in the park; she began to think things through, how did he actually disassembled her? She didn't know. She just didn't understand why she was hurt.

She wasn't aware of how long she was sitting there; she didn't even realize that someone had joined her gazing at the darkness.

Suddenly Kagome felt a movement next to her, she jolted up in surprise, but that didn't seem to bother her neighbor, she relaxed herself and gazed at the woman next to her.

Should she go away? The stranger seemed like an escaped mental patient, but why should she care if the woman harmed her? Going to the park at this hour, wasn't she just asking to be assaulted?

They were sitting in silence for about a half an hour, both seemed contented with each other's silent company. Kagome turned her head slightly and began to study the stranger's physiognomy under the moonlight. The woman was pale and thin, she had a classic beautiful face, her high cheekbones were quite appealing, it indicated maturity and strength, she was motherly beautiful, …motherly…, Kagome's eyes widened in surprise, yes, she had seen her before! It was the woman in the photo shop, and the reason that she felt she had known her before was because that they had crossed way many times before, but she was always with a child, that was why she couldn't recognized her when she was alone in the shop, she always related her as a mother with her child.

And the question that nagged her mind strongly before reappeared, she turned her head fully towards the woman and asked, "Why?"

The woman turned her head abruptly in surprise; she looked at Kagome long, her eyes searching hers, as if she was confirming the meaning of Kagome's question.

Kagome nodded her head and asked one more time, "where is he?"

The woman choked a sob and in the same time she was trying to smile in relief.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~The Story of Aiko and Kou~*~

The day of the car accident.

She was waiting for him in front of the supermarket; it was their daily meeting place.

With his tiny limbs he would run until the end of the world to get to her and she, she would wait eternally for him.

On that day she had waited for four hours, other mothers would have begun to panic, but she sat quietly on a bench and waited. She waited.

A neighbor she knew was searching for someone; she waved her hand to greet her and smiled carelessly at her.

And the next moment her smile froze.

~*~

One day she felt cold, the chilliness was piercing through her entire body parts that she shook from the impact. Aiko wondered if numbness felt cold. And if it did then she would've known that something was wrong with her. When she could only describe her emptiness, and the coldness, lovers loved, children played, old men lost themselves in nostalgia, widows mourned, but what did mothers do who lost their children? What would one call them?

There was no status to be given.

And no one knew why when, in supermarket, she bought less grocery than she used to, no one knew why she didn't go to the movie anymore. She still purchased some children books in her favorite bookstore, but no one knew that there was nobody she read the books out to. No one knew why she made fewer photos than she used to and why she didn't let them framed anymore. Everyone she knew asked how she was faring but no one knew how she really fared. When sometimes she stopped and a lump choked through her throat watching children played or mothers together with their children, no one knew why.

No one had ever asked her why.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

How had Kagome ever forgotten that feeling? How could she not once stop and try to remember?

But it didn't matter anymore because now she understood.

~*~

"Loving someone unrequitedly for five hundred years, do you think it was only your burden, Koshosho?"

Koshosho looked up at him with teary eyes, confused.

"I too would give my life for that someone but not before she asked me to, but when she questioned it regardless if she loves me or not, I would give it to her gladly."

Koshosho searched his face as he continued to avert her eyes; she struggled out of his embrace as she asked him, "Shippou-chan, you too love Kagome-chan?"

Shippou pinched her nose gently, "baka…" he whispered softly and kissed her lips with loving tenderness.

*end of chapter*

AN: I would like to apologize for the unpunctuality of this update, hope you enjoy it still, and please, yes please do review.

Mystic Hanyou: glad you like her, this is important for me, because I like her too, and I would like to give her a happy ending.

LadySessho: would you hate me now, I wondered, I'm so sorry milady but I can't give you what you asked me to do, oh dear, is koshosho really that bad? I guess I made her too dangerous, please don't hate me for this, I guess this is because I had watched to many soaps that I actually think that her character is not that bad, she loved Sesshoumaru unconditionally, which is quite remarkable, don't you think? Forgive me if you feel that I'm screwing this fiction.

White Tiger Princess: No, she's not, but actually she isn't a replacement, it depends on how you view the situation, the way I put it might imply a false insecurity, but let's just say, a gift is a gift.

For the post reviewer in a single spark:

Syrinx: teh… he…he… you did indeed teach me too well with the cliffy, but let me say this first, girl, how could you not have faith in me? Did I not promise you something? I did, didn't I? Believe me, you're the only one who knew how it's going to end, trust me a little, will you? I will never ever let you down.

Raine: thank you for your review, glad you like her.

Sesshomaru's Tue Love: I guess Kagome is a bit depressed but she should be stronger now.

Fluffy: Ow, you hate Sesshou too because of the gift, don't be, it's not the way it supposed to mean.

Yukino: he is actually not the sicko everyone else thought of him to be, but still I was very much touched that you think I wrote great twists, I don't actually, the consequences were too much for me to handle.

Himeno: I was really touched to read your review, the way you expressed your sympathy over Kagome's situation, and your recommendation of Jinsei and when I thought that everyone had forgotten about him, the only good thing of the last chapter was perhaps your review and I promise I won't let you down.

Diana: is my story really that sad? But I'm glad that you like it tho.

Purityz_Darkness_101: I thought that the story romantic enough, or was I wrong? I guess we won't experience much of Sess' POV; he is forever a mystery to me.

Bob-kun: you have a faible for twists, yes? Well I don't, I hope I'm not disappointing you that I'm going to end the confusion as soon as I can.