InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Oden Shop ❯ To Find It Back ( Chapter 14 )

To Find It Back

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

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And now Aiko was still waiting for her son, whenever she saw a bench she would sit down and waited, and when a car drove by she would remember that her son was not going to meet her there, that he was dead, only then she would raise herself up and went home.

Perhaps the pain of loosing Kou would be bearable for Aiko if she had someone on her side to mourn him with her, but she had chosen to live alone, her child was the only light of her life, she wouldn't and couldn't share her affection.

"I'll go home now." Kagome stood up and stretched her stiff limbs. She gazed down at Aiko and offered her hand to pull her up. 

"Indeed, I think you should," Aiko answered her absently, she refused to budge.

"You should too, Aiko-san." Kagome still held her hand outstretched.

"Why?"

"Because like me, you too had lost your innocence, if we are to live this down, then we have to be decisive."

"I don't have any options of decisions to make."

"You have!" Kagome contradicted her strongly, "we all have, when we lost our innocence we are left with choices, to break on it, to glorify it or to find it back, and I… I decide for the latter, I will find it back, and life would be how it's supposed to be, worth to live."

"And maybe tonight you might go home to an empty apartment where the cold was unbearable, but someday it will be warm again, and there will be someone at your side to offer you his warmth, and that's when the world is all sunshine and summer. There is love in this world as there are us, and if love was ever sweet once why should we dwell on its lost, let's just find it back."

"To find your innocence back…" Aiko let the words roll in her tongue, yes, she could almost taste the promising happiness behind it, she took Kagome's hand under her own warm mother's hand and smiled at the young woman who was the comrade of the hour, they would never meet again, but at that time fate decided to bind them, the karma of losing was to regain.

~*~

"No, Shippou-chan, I can't-," she tore her lips away from him, he tightened his embrace on her and whispered to her ears, "sshhh… I know… I know… but it's been so long… Koshosho, so damn long…" he ran his lips along her ear trailing a path led to her cheek.

"Shippou-chan, everybody is looking at us, let's just go, please!" She pulled herself fiercely out of his embrace.

Shippou nodded, his eyes refused to meet hers, he stood up to pay the bill as she made her way out.

Once they were out in the street she turned abruptly to him, and she saw the pain of rejection in his eyes, the power of the pain was so great he almost shook as he stood there, waiting for her to state her case.

"Give me one good reason why you love me and I will give up on him," she voiced her plea.

He looked up to her, surprised, but then he regained strength and gazed at her proudly, "like I said, I would happily give my life for you, but we have no wars to fight for," and then he gave her his patented boyish grin, but his eyes were dead serious, "because I'm going to be the one who waits for you."

Koshosho smiled tenderly, "that is one good reason."

~*~

Jinsei was leafing through some college applications when he heard a knock on his apartment door, he opened it and a woman of thirty introduced herself, she was a new neighbor and had just moved in. It seemed that she had lost her key somewhere in the park, but it was too dark to search for it, that was why she decided to wait until morning before she started to search for her key, and then she saw that his light was still on, she sheepishly admitted that she was actually cold, if he could give her shelter for the night?

Jinsei smiled and answered, "as long as you're not suicidal."

The woman smiled back and replied, "I was."

Jinsei grinned wider, "that sounded almost like a sign, really, I wonder what I did in the past life to receive such bad luck all the time."

The woman answered, "Maybe you had a bad habit in the past, that's why Amida Buddha decided to teach you a lesson by giving you a bad karma."

He laughed, "Aiko nee-chan, come on in."

Jinsei, be happy……

~*~

Kagome opened the door to the apartment and closed it softly, her eyes caught his feature under the husk of the dawn, he was sitting on the couch, gazing blankly straight ahead.  

Kagome remembered the many times she had pushed him away, hurt him without reason, when he was the one who had healed her, who gave her back a part of the innocence she had once lost, he had loved her and because of him, she, for once, wanted to believe that passion would last forever, that their love was supposed to be, and she never regretted that she had fallen to believe in it, because he was her assembler. And a moment ago… she had tried to throw him away.

Love for them didn't come with the tenderness of a friendship; the passion that was there to feel had lain deep down inside their souls. When he tried to kill her the first time he met her he had gazed into her deep blue eyes and found that they were beautiful, when she had tossed the Tetsusaiga to Inuyasha she had felt a slight guilt that in a way she was betraying the brother. Ignoring their fate to fall in love with each other, they passed each other every now and then unnoticeably, but the souls were to be prepared for them and when they met again the oracle was complete. The souls that traveled through the history of times had finally matured and found each other. 

And that was why it did hurt to love for them. Because the lost would be unbearable.

And now she would never let him close the door. She stepped closer to him and lifted his face to meet hers, they gazed into each other's eyes as she whispered, "I understand now."

But by those words Sesshoumaru's eyes turned cold, how dared she hint that she knew what he was suffering? She never lost someone like he lost his child, when he was supposed not to lose her.

"No, you don't understand, you could never understand, to have a healing sword but not to be able to save your chil-," he choke. "Never. You could never understand."

He turned his back to her going to the solitude of his room as he put up a barrier between them.  

But Kagome was relentless, she gathered the strength that rested deep in her and tried to break the barrier, she prayed that she still had her miko's energy, the ki that she had never used for the past five years.

At first it was slow to come and she felt how the aura of his barrier burned through her skin, but she bit her lips to contain her pain and channeled her ki stronger to break the aura.

Sesshoumaru was unable to move to help her, he was too shocked when he saw she was trying to break the barrier he created and then he noticed that she was in pain, and something inside him seemed to snap as he rushed forward to pull her through the barrier.

But she stepped back and whispered, "Let me pass through with my own strength, this is at least what I can do for you." And she began to channel her ki once more, the pain was becoming stronger, she could almost smell burning skin, and he was trembling when he saw how she suffered, but she made it through and he pulled her into his embrace, crushing her to him.

She led him to the bed and cupped his face, her eyes were searching his. "Sesshoumaru, when you break, I will be there to put the pieces back together, but you have to let it go."

He still looked at her blankly, her words were quickly shoved aside, unregistered, and he refused to believe.  

"Here," she paused and pressed her hand to her chest emphatically, she continued in choked voice, "we are weak, but, Sesshoumaru, you have to let it go and I promise you that mine is strong, stronger than ours, I promise you. Let it go."

And the tears that he should have shed five hundred years ago, flowed freely down his cheeks, he cried softly at first and then more soundly, burying his face on her lap, his body shook with the power of his despair. She stroked his hair gently, her heart felt so light as if every weight dampened itself on the force of her own tears, she began to speak,

"When I was a child, my father used to carry me on his shoulder, I remember it was in winter, the cold was unbearable, but at that moment his shoulder offered me warmth like none other would do, sometimes I caught him smoking in the backyard, and he just smiled to me and pulled me to him. I could still remember his distinct scent of tobacco and green grass and the sun; he was a man who would walk barefooted in the grass lifting his head to capture the heat of the sun. When he smiled, his brown face would light itself and I remembered precisely how beautifully his dimple would make their appearance, and soft wrinkles at the sides of his eyes would show."

"I remembered too in cool weather he used to take me to hatai, there we would usually eat oden in the night hours, or we would go wandering in the weekend, buying food specialty from other city. I remembered when he used to pick me up from school and how proud I was of him when I saw him standing by the gate, because my father was a beautiful man; other fathers were quite plain-looking in comparison. But I remembered too, many times when I made him sad or when I neglected him to spend times with my friends or when I was obstinate when he told me to do something; I remembered every little thing, because you see,"

"Sesshoumaru, even though they were memories, even though it happened a long time ago, even though he is not here anymore, once I buried him in my heart, he would never be forgotten."

Sesshoumaru had never mourned for Rin, he felt too guilty for it, all his life he had shun away the little child's affection, had even forbidden her to call him father, he would never except human as his heir, and he felt so guilty when he thought that he was going to give her away to Koshosho's family, and when he lost her, he would never have thought that a part of him would be dead too, the one that she filled when she presented him a collection of flowers she picked, her toothy smile and her trusting eyes, he would never have thought that he had came to love her as a father would, but he even denied her that. The remorse was too great to allow him to mourn for her. How was it possible that he could call her now as his child when she was gone? Forget the pretense of protection, and not to be able to save her, how could he give her now the title that she had yearned for the longest time 'his child', 'he as a father'?

But it had been five hundred years after she died, and even though his remorse was great there was a greater fear than that, the fear that he had forgotten, so he had to let it go in order to remember.

That night they wept away the sorrow together, this would be the last time that they would truly mourn, it was not that they could not take more, but the ghosts were gone in exchange for a new life.

~*~

The unwrapped gift that lay forgotten on the floor was not explained, Kagome would have to find out for herself what the gift was supposed to signify. When she knew then, she felt how the last doubt was blown away forever.

Shippou explained then later, that Sesshoumaru owned an orphanage, he was more used to the company of children than adults, that would explained the gifts and his conducts, he gave her something that he normally gave to the children in hope to see a light of happiness he usually saw in the eyes of the children, he wanted her to smile her special smile when she was happy. Kagome could only smile warmly when she thought how dense Sesshoumaru actually was.

~*~

"Sesshoumaru," Kagome suppressed her giggle, "that's funny; I didn't know that demons' eyes would be red too after crying."

Sesshoumaru's eyes went wide with shock, instantly he tried to cover his face but suddenly he realized that that action was degrading him more, he immediately pulled out one of his expressionless countenance, only that he forgot to drop his hands, as they hung in the air he stared at his hands, now confused which action he decided to take, so he scowled and hissed in a voice full of accusation, "Ka-go-me…"

"Loves you, I love you."

A sense of complete joy and warmth filled him, to love and to be loved back, to love and to live, and why should he care if he looked stupid?   

~*~

Because in the end there is a happy ending

~*~*~

The Malice of Reincarnation

*After five years* (this addition is actually for you, who dislikes Kikyou)

"Korechika, come on, mom's waiting for us- Hey! Watch where you're going! Korechika, you're okay?"

Shippou picked the four years old raven haired boy with the golden eyes from the ground und dusted him, and then he faced the offender, ready to lash at him for knocking his brother down.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing knocking a kid down like that?" The offender seemed to be in a hurry as he kept throwing glances to his back, but Shippou wouldn't be ignored, he almost grabbed the guy's front collar as he heard, "keh!"

Shippou froze, the stranger gave him an annoyed glance, and once again he glanced nervously behind him. Shippou sniffed him, he started, "Inuya-."

The stranger ruffled Korechika's hair apologetically and turned to address Shippou, "sorry about that, but someone is stalking me and I was merely trying to get away from him and that was when I didn't see the kid."

Another stranger with brown hair called to him, "Kin, wait for me, will you?"

The guy named Kin groaned; he turned to look at his stalker, "keh! Leave me alone, will you?! I'm not interested in guys and will never be interested in you!"

Shippou sniffed the air again and this time he was truly shocked, "Kikyou?!"

"Leave me alone, Kiyoshi, or I'll swear this time, I'm going to press charges against you!" Kin stomped away from his stalker, leaving a bedazzled Shippou.

Kiyoshi, or the reincarnation of Kikyou, paused for a minute, and then he continued to follow him but this time not too close.

"Nii-chan."

Shippou felt a tug in his arm as he looked down into the yellow pool of his little hanyou brother's eyes, he smiled tenderly, ruffled the boy's hair and lifted him up to his shoulder.

"Right, mom and dad are waiting."             &nb sp;  

******finis******

AN: Oh dear… this was the hardest part for me, to end this fiction, now I understand why so many authors left their fictions unfinished, was it too cruel from me to write the last part with Inuyasha? I can't help it, actually it supposed to be part of the plot but in the end I have decided to put it as an addition. I just want you readers to read this fiction with a happy feeling in the end and a secure happy one at that, that's why some might think that the ending was quite mild, but I want to make this fiction like a fruit drop in your mouth, a short bliss and a pleasant aftertaste. (Yes, this is from 'Strawberry on the Shortcake')  

And the part with finding your innocence back, no, it's not a brainwash, and I'm not a member of a sect, but it's just about how you view things in life, to put a trust in others, or to find happiness in small things, yes, let's be naïve together, not too much, just enough to have fun again. (Yes, yes I know, this is the result of too much study) Aah, and one more, please don't forget to review, please?   

Daniy or Jinx, hey girl, I finish this fiction, this chapter is for you.

Lady Sessho: aaw that was so sweet of you to try to forgive Koshosho, but you don't have to like her, I understand completely, because I myself would never let her have Sess, yes I'm an egoistic creator, but it doesn't matter now, what matters that you don't hate me, I was so happy, please be happy with the last chapter and if you think I still left some unexplained or unfinished, please do remind me, thank you for all your sweet reviews, not only that they were sophistically creative, they were also highly amusing, thank you, milady. *an official deep bow to you (and your crew)*

Mystic Hanyou: not too much on the koshosho-shippou story, I'm afraid, hope it's enough, I would like to write more about them, but since many didn't actually like her, I decided against it. To tell you the truth, I would make a b-line myself when I met such character, but have to give her a happy ending, she is remarkable in her own way, and for sess-kag, hope you like the ending. Thank you for all your reviews, they have been helpful and sweet.

Busoshwe: nay, you're not dense, I'm only bad at explaining, that's why some of the things I wrote were somehow elusive, I'd then like to think (self-appraisingly) it as unconventional, but actually I didn't understand it myself.

Draegon: you actually did cry? I'm so happy, I almost did too, I know, that's pathetic when you think that I wrote it, but I'm so happy for your review, thank you.

For the post reviewer in a single spark:

Mewl neko: I guess it's the feeling of lost that Kagome felt similar to, and it made her understand better what exactly Sess is feeling without him telling her.

Natsumi: I just did, I've just updated.

Syrinx: it was so refreshing to read your rants, he…he… one would think that I've invented this Koshosho-character just to rile you up… I actually did. *duck some flying rotten fruits* he…he…he… no, don't be too cruel on me, I mean after your long absence of update, it deserves some kind of payback, right? Got you on that. And the woman in the park, is a single mother, no husband, she lost her son on a car accident. While she was waiting for him, he didn't show up, and then the neighbor notified her about the accident. Hope you like the ending, I put the last sentence 'because in the end there is a happy ending', only for you, yes I know I'm an old melancholic.

Mz Sensitivity: were you not Purityz_Darkness_101? Thanks for your review, hope you enjoy the last chapter, not much on Sess' POV, I'm afraid.

Kura: nice questions you have there, I hope I answer them well in this last chapter, if not please don't hesitate to contact me.

Himeno: like the ending? Hope you do, and I hope your last worry about sess-kag relationship was erased, there are some explanations for Sess' conduct and I thought that they were quite adequate, don't you think? Because he was surrounded by children, he would automatically act paternal towards anyone. But what matters most was for you to enjoy this last chapter, all the nice reviews you've been given me makes me want to give you something in return, hope you like the ending.

WOLF_BITE: were you actually bitten by one? Yes I know, a pathetic attempt of a gag, thank you for your review.

Fluffy: I updated, a bit late than I supposed to, sorry for that. Hope you enjoy the last chapter, and glad you like the name koshosho, I find it very nice myself, a bit floaty and cute, don't you think?