InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Savvy ❯ Chapter Twenty-Nine ( Chapter 29 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

I don't own it. You know who does. And if you don't, you should.

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"Devotion and Desire (Acoustic Version)" Bayside

"Please" Staind (My song, my SONG! Oh sorry, you didn't care? My bad.)

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"Mama, I'm home!" Kagome called as she slipped off her shoes and shrugged her coat off. She was relieved to be home. While she'd missed her friends, the day had been an exhausting exercise in trying to smile, and the endless questions about her life in the States had been almost too much to bear.

She missed Rin and Sango.

"Kagome," her mother greeted her as she stepped into the kitchen. "Did you have a nice time?"

Kagome shrugged. "I guess."

"Why don't you sit down, dear?"

Kagome took a seat at the kitchen table, and looked questioningly at her mother as she did the same. "Is something wrong?"

Amaya looked at her softly. "You had a visitor today."

"A visitor?" Kagome echoed, her brow arching with confusion before she gasped sharply. What if it had been Kouga? What if he'd found out she'd returned to Tokyo? "Um... Who was it?"

"It was Inuyasha."

Kagome blinked quickly, knowing she had to have misunderstood. "Did you say..."

Mrs. Higurashi nodded. "He came by looking for you, Kagome. He seemed very upset."

"He... did? He came here?"

Amaya could tell by the nearly shrill tone of Kagome's voice that she was completely in shock. "Yes, dear. He was here this morning. I'm only guessing, but it seems that if he chased you so far, that he might have something he wants to say to you, don't you think?"

Kagome didn't hear her mother's words as her thoughts went reeling. Inuyasha had followed her? He'd come all the way to Tokyo to talk to her?

That meant something, didn't it? Of course it does, she told herself. It means I probably just made the biggest mistake in my life.

Looking quickly to her mother, Kagome felt the talons of panic settling in. "When was he here? How long ago? What did he say?"

"He was here around lunchtime. Quite awhile ago, really."

"I have to call him," Kagome said quietly, excusing herself from the kitchen and almost stumbling on her way up to her bedroom.

Her cell phone lay in her suitcase, and Kagome grabbed it, turning it on and waiting for it to power up. "Please answer, Inuyasha," she said as she dialed his number.

(*)(*)(*)

Two Days Later...

"Will you just play the fucking song?" Inuyasha snarled at Miroku as they both sat on the couch. It was the night of the new moon, and although Inuyasha hadn't felt like company, Miroku had insisted on coming over to practice for their upcoming show.

"Now until you tell me what happened with Kagome. You haven't said a word since you got back."

"There's nothing to say; I didn't see her."

"Have you tried calling her again?"

"No. I lost my phone in Tokyo." That was only a small lie; Inuyasha had actually chucked it out of a bus window during a moment of anger, and had yet to replace it. What made it even worse was that the action hadn't made him feel even a little better.

"Interesting," Miroku mused. "I just assumed something might have happened, judging by the multiple depressing songs you seemed to have written overnight."

"I couldn't sleep, okay?" The hanyou barked defensively.

"I wasn't nagging you, Inuyasha. I like this one quite a bit. So much, in fact, that I was hoping to hear the story behind it."

"There ain't no story," Inuyasha replied in a surly tone. "Just play."

Miroku nodded, waiting for his friend's cue, and both began to play. He was impressed with the quick beat of the song, but reading the lyrics had disturbed him. Something had happened in Tokyo, no matter what Inuyasha said.

Trying to create something that's not there. A spark I saw as a bomb isjust a means to an end. I was just so happy to be out of my shell again, Don't think that I really cared for who or what. So for now I'll just have to keep it shut.If you're not ready, you're not ready. Please stop acting like you are. But how could I know That everything you say are lies about devotion and desire? And I know the spark inside your eyes Was just a match I used to set myself on fire.
My mouth's shooting blanks. This situation's unbearable, I've gotten vulnerable. So anyone is free to waltz right in. My temple's been invaded And there's nobody guarding it. All over this lonely life, But what's so wrong with being all alone? Alone's the only way I've ever known. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Please stop acting like you are.
As they went through the chorus again, Miroku chanced a look a Inuyasha. His pain was evident in his voice, as well as his downcast eyes. It wasn't the pain that worried him, but the barely concealed anger that showed in the set of the hanyou's brow, and the grimace on his face.

I'm pleading
Cause this kills
And it's still bleeding. My darling
And I'm taking my life back to start healing...

After another run through the chorus, Inuyasha sat his guitar aside, his expression carefully blank. "So?"

"It's good," Miroku answered honestly. "Really good."

"Yeah, but do you want to use it?"

"Of course."

"Great. How many are we up to now? Because I've got a few more."

"Um..." Miroku was finding it hard concentrate on the music, when all he wanted to do was throttle Inuyasha for answers about Kagome. "I think we only need to more. That should cover the time frame."

Inuyasha nodded, reaching for a stack of loose notebook paper that rested on his coffee table. On them were the lyrics he'd written since leaving Tokyo. Shuffling through them, he withdrew another page, and he and Miroku started all over again.

(*)(*)(*)

Why won't he answer?

Letting her cell phone fall into her lap, Kagome stared out her bedroom window. Ever since her mother had told her of Inuyasha's visit, she'd been trying to call him, but his phone was turned off.
It made no sense. Why had he come all the way to Japan if he was going to ignore her now?

Maybe he's mad now, she told herself. He went through so much trouble, and I wasn't here. Maybe he gave up.

But why didn't he just wait for me? Kagome wondered.

...Well... You didn't wait for him, did you?

Kagome settled back on her pillows, a frown on her face. No, she hadn't waited for Inuyasha to explain why Kikyou was in his apartment. But... it had seemed so obvious. She'd finally listened to the one voice mail he'd left her after turning on her phone.

"Kagome, it's me... I don't know what happened, or what Kikyou said to you, but please call me."
She'd been wrong, hadn't she? While it still upset her that Inuyasha had just left without even telling her Kikyou was in his apartment, she had to admit now that there must have been a reason. She hadn't waited to hear a reason; she'd turned and ran, believing every hurtful word that had left Kikyou's mouth. No wonder Inuyasha didn't want to speak to her; she hadn't trusted him.

"Why was I so stupid?" Kagome mumbled to herself, laying her arms across her knees as she sighed. "Why did I run away?"

Isn't that what you're good at? You ran from Kouga.

But... that was... different.

Sure it was. But you didn't mind running away from school, either, did you? Not when it became hard. You went to an easier high school too, even though you tested into two of the best ones.

I didn't want to fail! she argued with herself.

So, succeeding means taking the easier path?

No... I just...

If you weren't afraid, you'd call Sango. Or Rin. Or even Kagura. You're afraid.

Of course I'm afraid! Kagome wailed inwardly. I don't want to lose Inuyasha.

You're certainly not winning him by sitting here. He came thousands of miles just to talk to you. You're going to keep hiding because you're afraid he might be angry? Grow up!

Fine!

With an angry look on her face, Kagome flipped her phone open again.

(*)(*)(*)

Sango was backstage removing her stage clothes when she heard the familiar sound of her phone vibrating within her duffel bag. Quickly digging through its contents, she found the device, and gasped when she read the display. "Hello?" she asked breathlessly after flipping it open.

"...Sango?"

"Kagome! I thought you were never going to call!"

"Yeah. I just... I don't know."

Sango could hear the tears in her friend's voice, and wished she wasn't so far away. "Well, um... Inuyasha made it back alright. And Kagura's keeping an eye on your things."

"She didn't have to do that. Has Inuyasha... said anything? About me?"

"Not a word to anyone. I haven't seen much of him, though. It's the new moon. Miroku's with him right now."

"Oh. I tried calling. He hasn't answered."

"He hasn't?" Sango thought that a little odd.

"No... I..." Sango heard the slightest sound that might have been a sob over the line. "I want to come home, Sango."

Sango felt tears in her own eyes suddenly. "Well, why don't you? Everyone misses you."

"I don't have any money now. And... I'm afraid. What if Inuyasha won't talk to me? I was so stupid..."

"I'm sure Inuyasha wants to see you, too. Besides, you have more than Inuyasha here. I miss you. And so does Rin. And Eric, of course."

Kagome giggled a little at that. "I bet."

Sango smiled. "Well, why don't I try to find what's up with Inuyasha, and I'll call you when I get out of work?"

"That'd be fine. Thanks, Sango."

Brown furrowed with worry, Sango ended the call, returning her phone to her bag. Trying to get information from Inuyasha was going to be like pulling teeth, as always. She wasn't about to let Kagome down, though.

Getting dressed, Sango walked to the bar, where Kagura was serving in Inuyasha's place. "Hey, I'm going to head upstairs for a little bit, alright?"

Kagura smirked. "Miss your man that much?"

Sango rolled her eyes. "Hardly. I just got a call from Kagome."

Kagura's brow lifted slightly. "Really? What did she have to say?"

"Well, she wants to come back, but she's afraid to. Inuyasha hasn't been answering her calls."

"He lost his cell phone," Kagura informed her.

"Oh. I didn't know. I'm going to go let him know that she called, though."

"That's fine. It's almost closing time, anyway."

Making her way up the stairs, Sango could hear the sound of guitar chord through the wall, and knocked lightly before entering Inuyasha's apartment.

The music stopped as both Inuyasha and Miroku turned to look at Sango, and Miroku smiled charmingly. "Sneaking up to see me?" he asked.

"You wish, lecher." She focused her attention on Inuyasha. "Kagome called."

Sango didn't miss the hopeful spark that flashed in Inuyasha's indigo eyes, but was confused as it was quickly replaced with a mask of indifference. "Really? What'd you guys talk about?"

"Well, she said she's been trying to call you."

"Lost my phone," he replied nonchalantly. Miroku and Sango exchanged a befuddled look.

"You can use my phone," Sango offered.

Inuyasha shrugged, turning his attention back to his guitar. "I'm going to replace mine tomorrow. It's not a big deal."

Not a big deal? Miroku sighed, setting his guitar down into its case. "Okay, I'll take the bait. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Inuyasha replied calmly.

It was Sango's turn to heave a sigh as she crossed her arms. "Nothing? You just got back from Japan, Inuyasha. You obviously wanted to talk to Kagome. Why not now?"

"She didn't want to talk to me, though."

"So... You're not going to call her now, out of spite? That seems just a little childish, don't you think?"

Inuyasha visibly bristled at the comment. "Childish?" he repeated, looking up to glare at Sango. "I'm the one who's being childish? That's fine, Sango. Defend Kagome to the end, because kami knows she would never fuck up."

"Inuyasha, I'm not saying Kagome was in the right here, but don't you want to fix this?"

Inuyasha nearly threw his guitar in the case, angrily snapping the latches down. "Why is it my job to fix it?"

"I..." Sango faltered, fidgeting with her hands as Inuyasha continued to stare at her furiously.

"And I did want to fix it," Inuyasha continued. "Didn't you just mention how I flew to Japan? And what did I get for it? A fucking lecture from her mother. I'm a grown man. If Kagome wants to act like a little girl, she can stay with her mommy."

Sango felt very put in her place, and it was a moment before she decided to speak again. "She wants to come back, Inuyasha."

"Then, let her come back," he replied, looking suddenly tired as he stood, gathering his pages of lyrics. "That's her decision to make, not mine."

Inuyasha practically stomped across his living room, and Sango and Miroku winced as he disappeared into his bedroom, slamming the door.

Miroku clapped his hands together softly before standing up. "Well, I'm guessing our practice is over."

"Looks like it. I don't know what I'm going to tell Kagome."

Miroku embraced his wife, smiling softly. "You'll think of something. You always do."

(*)(*)(*)

After hearing Miroku and Sango leave, Inuyasha turned his bedside lamp off, and rolled over to face the wall. "Childish," he muttered in the dark. "Keh."

Inuyasha knew his anger at Kagome was obvious, but he didn't care. He had every right to be angry, and with every second since he'd left the shrine, he'd become more angry. He didn't know much about Kagome's past, but she'd been treated like a fragile piece of glass ever since she'd arrived at Savvy. With Kouga around, that had been understandable. She'd had no way to defend herself against a youkai.

When it came to Inuyasha, however, she'd allowed Sango and Rin to step in at every turn, fighting her battles for her. He knew he'd been an asshole, but why hadn't she just said so herself? It would have made things a lot simpler. It hadn't seemed important at the time, but now she'd ran off to her mother.

What if she had been there when he'd went looking for her? What if they'd talked things over, and she'd returned home with him?

It just would have been something else later, he told himself. Probably not Kikyou; I'm done with her, but if she's that insecure, something else would have happened eventually. I can't spend the rest of my life chasing after her and explaining myself.

Still, the idea of never seeing Kagome again... it didn't set well. He could admit, if only to himself, that he was aching to be near her. To feel her hair between his fingers, to taste the salty skin of her neck...

Maybe it's better this way, he told himself. Perhaps a clean break would be better for the both of them. If Kagome returned, it would be harder, though he didn't think he could hurt any more than he already did.

What if she comes back? he asked himself. He knew it would be up to him to make it right, and it wasn't something he was going to do. He'd tried to explain himself, and his efforts had been thrown in his face.

But how was he going to face her every day? He now knew what it was like to hold her, to kiss her, and he wasn't sure he could look at her, knowing he couldn't have that again. It had been hard enough to be around her before they'd started dating; it would be impossible if he knew what he was missing.

And he was painfully aware of what he was missing.

(*)(*)(*)

Kagome opened one eye as she heard her cell phone vibrating across her nightstand, and she nearly knocked it to the floor as she fumbled for it. "Hello? Sango?"

"I woke you up? I'm sorry!"

"It's okay," Kagome assured her, propping herself up on one elbow in an effort to wake up. "What's going on?"

"Well, I talked to Inuyasha. He lost his cell phone."

"Oh. That makes sense, then."

"Yeah, but there's something else."

Kagome knew by the tone of Sango's voice that the "something else" wasn't going to be good. "What is it?" she asked.

"He's... he's pretty angry, Kagome."

Kagome knew that Inuyasha might be angry, but hearing it caused lead to settle on her chest. "...He is?"

"Yeah. I tried to talk to him about it, but--"

"Don't. It's not your job. I'll... I'll try to get home when I can. It just might be awhile."

"Alright. Call me when you get up?"

"Sure. See ya."

"'Bye."

Setting her phone back on her nightstand, Kagome laid back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. I have to get home, she thought, although the thought of facing Inuyasha brought tears to her eyes. What if he wouldn't listen? What if he never spoke to her again? I have to at least try. And if he doesn't... I want to be there, anyway.

Kagome loved being back at the shrine. What had surprised her, though, was that it didn't feel like home anymore. It felt like her mother's home, a place from her childhood. She'd ran away, yes; she could admit that. But in doing so, she'd made a life of her own. She'd found a new home, a place where she called the shots, and paid the bills. She missed her job, and her friends. She even missed the leaky faucet in her kitchen, though she knew that Kagura might rent the space to someone else by the time she returned. It didn't matter, though. She needed to go back to New York.

Startled as her cell phone rang again, Kagome's brow furrowed as she checked the display. "Hello?"

"Oh, you answer now?"

Kagome smiled brightly. "Rin?"

"Gee, she remembers my name. I see. Call Sango, but forget your best friend Rin, who is twenty times more beautiful, and modest. You're a jerk, you know that?"

Kagome laughed. "I am."

"I'm serious!"

"I know you are! You just... shouldn't be so funny when you're doing it."

Rin laughed too, after a moment. "So, I hear you want to come home?"

"I'm going to try to. I might have to do some work at the shrine for a few weeks, but--"

"Pshh," Rin replied. "When do you want your ticket?"

"Rin, I couldn't ask you to--"

"You didn't ask. I'm offering, and only because you'll be indebted to me for the rest of your life."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. Now, there are three flights..."

(*)(*)(*)



After scheduling her flight plans with Rin, Kagome decided it would be best to talk to her mother. She didn't have much more time with her. "Mama?"

Finding her mother in the kitchen with a word search, Kagome smiled and joined her at the table.
"Good morning, dear," Amaya told her. "How did you sleep?"

"Not so great," Kagome replied. "I... I need to talk to you."

Setting the puzzle aside, Amaya focused on her daughter. "What is it?"

Kagome took a deep breath. "I'm going back."

"You are?" Her mother smiled. "I figured you might. You've done a lot of growing up, Kagome. I thought the shrine might seem a little small for you, now that you've had a taste of the world."

"I hope I've grown up. I just hope... everything works out."

"With Inuyasha, you mean?" her mother asked knowingly.

Kagome nodded slowly. "With Inuyasha. With... everything."

After a long conversation with her mother, Kagome returned to her room to pack her suitcase, and smiled when she saw Kilala curled up on her bed, with Buyo. "Hey, Kilala, guess what?"

"Mew?" Kilala asked with a tilt of her head.

Kagome smiled. "We're going home."