InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Savvy ❯ Chapter Thirty ( Chapter 30 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Rolling right along. Not much left now! I wish there was, because when I'm done... I have to try to finish "To Hell." *shudders* Well, this chapter was hard for me. Mostly, because it turned into 101 arguments I had with my ex fiance at one time or another. I think I actually quoted us a few times. *turns red and runs away*

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"Vermilion, Pt. 2" Slipknot

"It's Hard To Say" The Used

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"They're going to hate us," Inuyasha declared as he stared up at the fluorescent bulbs of the men's restroom, a hopeless expression on his face.

"How do you know that, exactly?" Miroku asked, leaning casually against the wall as he regarded his friend.

"Do you have eyes?" Inuyasha cried. "It's a bunch of uptown hippies who wouldn't know the first thing about our music."

Miroku sighed. "We were booked for a reason, Inuyasha. And we have less than ten minutes to get out there."

Inuyasha crossed his arms, sulking. "This was your stupid idea. If we get booed off the stage, I'm blaming you."

"Of course you are. Now, come on!"

(*)(*)(*)

Using her key to the back entrance, Kagome entered the empty club warily, feeling almost like an intruder as her footsteps echoed in the wide corridor. Inuyasha's car hadn't been in the parking lot, and she hoped she could find someone around. "Hello?" she called.

"In my office," the voice of Kagura drifted to her, and Kagome smiled in relief.

The door to the office was open, and Kagome stopped just outside of the room, waiting for Kagura to acknowledge her.

"So, you're back," the crimson eyed woman said as she looked briefly to Kagome before returning her attention to her computer screen.

"Well... yeah. I just had a favor to ask."

"Sure."

"Um, would you mind if I stayed in my old apartment for the night? I mean, if not, that's fine. I just needed a place to stay until I can go look for..." Kagome trailed off as Kagura turned in her chair, pinning the girl with a strange look. "...What?"

"Kagome, it's your apartment. I did assume you were coming back to work. Was I wrong?"

Kagome couldn't hide her huge grin. "Really? It's okay?"

Kagura rolled her eyes. "Why wouldn't it be? You know I hate training people."

"But... the rent. I used it to fly to Tokyo."

"You'll pay me when you can. Right?"

Kagome nodded eagerly. "Of course."

"Good. You'll work tomorrow, then. As far as the others, they're in Manhattan."

"Manhattan?" Kagome echoed with a furrowed brow before she realized. "Oh, kami! The acoustic show! Shit!"

Kagura looked at Kagome sharply, surprised to hear her use such language. "It's not a long cab ride. You could make it."

"You think?" Part of Kagome was screaming against the idea of reuniting with her friends so publicly, especially Inuyasha. I'll just have to get over it, she told herself firmly. I want to be there for him; if he doesn't want me there, I'll leave.

Leaving her suitcase and Kilala upstairs with a hefty bowl of fish, Kagome went outside to hail a cab, hoping the traffic wouldn't cause her to miss the entire show. She knew how nervous Inuyasha had been about the show, and she felt horrible for not being there to support him and Miroku.

He might not want my support, she reminded herself, but I've got to try.

The ride in the taxi seemed to take an eternity, and Kagome grimaced as she parted with most of her money to pay for the ride. The cover charge to enter the club was outrageous as well, and Kagome pouted as she was allowed in the door. She didn't even have enough money for a bottled water if she wanted to get a ride home again.

The front of the club was nearly black as she entered, the only lights coming from the small stage against the opposite wall, and Kagome was grateful for the cover, though she knew it wouldn't hide her from Inuyasha.

Looking around, she was a little surprised by the upscale look of the place, but as Inuyasha and Miroku finished their song, there was quite a lot of applause. They've definitely got everyone's attention, she noted.

Stepping around a small crowd of people, Kagome's breath caught in her throat as she spotted Inuyasha. The bright stage lights he sat under illuminated him for her, and he was the only person that existed for a bare moment in time as she stared, her heart breaking all over again, but for a completely different reason. What if she'd lost him forever?

She came out of her daze as Inuyasha looked up from his guitar, his eyes sweeping over the crowd in quick motions. He knows I'm here, she thought, her hands clenching nervously at her sides just as his eyes met hers, blazing with an emotion she could not read, but chills ran over her flesh just the same. The entire club suddenly seemed charged with an almost tangible tension...

And then, he looked away.

You will NOT cry, Kagome ordered herself, taking a deep breath. It was nearly impossible, however, to force her legs to move, to make herself approach the stage.

Kagome spotted Sango at one of the tables near the stage, sitting with Rin, Nathan, and Seth. She didn't want to try joining them, since their table was full, so she found a smaller one near the wall, but still close to the stage, and slipped into a seat, not wanting to draw attention to herself.

"Another new one," Inuyasha quietly told the crowd before he and Miroku began to play.

She seemed dressed in all of me
Stretched across my shame
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me
I'd do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself
Now I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do when she makes me sad...

She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
A song that no one sings
The unattainable
She's a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do when she makes me sad...

Kagome listened to the words intently, unable to look away from Inuyasha as he sang, and she barely noticed Miroku join in. Eyes closed tightly, Inuyasha looked a million miles away, and Kagome fought even harder against her tears.

But I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

A catch in my throat
Choke
Torn into pieces
I won't, no
I don't wanna be this...

But I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

She isn't real
I can't make her real
She isn't real
I can't make her real...

As the song came to an end, Inuyasha dared to look over at Kagome, who was applauding along with everyone else, and he noticed the sheen in her eyes. Forcing himself to look elsewhere, Inuyasha blinked rapidly, his throat burning. She came, a quiet voice in his mind rejoiced.

His attention was diverted from Kagome as he heard Sango and Rin whispering excitedly, and he looked to their table to see them waving idiotically at Kagome, finally realizing she was there. He watched as Kagome waved back with her fingers, but then put one finger to her lips in a universal gesture; quiet. Her eyes then met his as she looked back to the stage.

Inuyasha hurriedly looked away again, trying to remember the next song on their set list, but all he could focus on was her. He felt inebriated by her scent, and kept breathing deeply. She looks beautiful, he couldn't stop himself from thinking. Dressed in a powder blue hooded sweatshirt and her oldest, most abused pair of jeans, he knew she must have been in a hurry, and that almost made him smile, but he quickly stopped himself.

(*)(*)(*)

Kagome was positive Inuyasha and Miroku's set was a success by the time the boys finished playing. As they were putting away their guitars, several people came up to the stage to speak with them, and others were grabbing fliers for their next show from Nathan and Seth. Smiling to herself, Kagome gathered her purse, and stood to leave.

"Hey, Kagome!"

Turning, she saw Sango approaching. "Where are you going? I haven't even talked to you yet!"

"I'm gonna head home," Kagome replied. "I'll be at work tomorrow, though."

"Awesome, but we were going to hang out for awhile. Don't you wanna stay?"

Kagome shook her head. "I think it would be better if I didn't."

Sango frowned worriedly. "Kagome, don't let Inuyasha bother you; he's just--"

"He's not," Kagome interrupted. "It's just... this is his night. I don't want to ruin it with everything else that's going on."

"Well... okay. See you tomorrow, then?"

"I'll be there."

Sango was pouting when she returned to join Rin at their table. "Where's Kagome off to?" Rin asked.

"Home."

"But she didn't even talk to me!"

"She didn't want to upset Inuyasha," Sango explained. "I get that, I guess."

Rin nodded. "I guess I'll have to hunt her down and bug her tomorrow," she sighed.

"Where's Kagome?" Miroku asked as he approached the table.

"She left," Rin told him. "Where's Inuyasha?"

"Restroom," Miroku replied, smiling a bit sadly. "I think he had something in his eye."

(*)(*)(*)

Inuyasha didn't return to Savvy until after 2 a.m., and he stopped just inside the back entrance, unwilling to go upstairs once Kagome's scent found him. Why had she shown up at the show, only to leave so quickly? Was she looking to torture him?

Had he hurt her?

Shaking his head against the pain the thought caused him, Inuyasha's expression darkened as he started up the stairs. Keh. It would serve her right if I did. I hope she's not up there expecting some sort of apology, because she ain't getting it!

Stopping once he reached the hall, Inuyasha' brow furrowed at the seam of light coming from Kagome's door. It was open; only slightly, but enough to disturb him. He didn't sense anything amiss, though.

The door creaked open suddenly, the portion of light growing wider, and Inuyasha watched as Kilala bounded out to rub against his leg, purring loudly.

"Well, hey, Kilala," he greeted the tiny youkai. "It's nice..."

Inuyasha trailed off as a shadow fell over him, and he looked up to see Kagome standing in the doorway. She seemed just as surprise as he felt, her eyes widening dramatically as they met his, and the two stared at one another for a long, silent moment.

"Uh, s-sorry," Kagome finally spoke. "She... ran out."

"That's what happens when you leave the door open," Inuyasha responded, his defenses flying up.

Kagome ignored the barb, but the hurt was evident in her eyes as they skittered away to focus on Kilala.

"Why'd you have your door open, anyway?" he asked.

Kagome blushed furiously, eyes focusing on the floor. "I just wanted to make sure... that you made it back okay."

Inuyasha knew there was more behind Kagome's words than what she was saying. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I... I didn't know if you'd want to be here," she admitted. "I thought you might decide to stay somewhere else."

Inuyasha snorted, his temper flaring. "Like where? With Kikyou?" he snapped.

"No!" Kagome exclaimed, her eyes frantic as they met with his again. "That's not what I meant! I just meant... maybe at Sango and Miroku's. I didn't know if me being here would... bother you."

Inuyasha exhaled slowly, his anger dissipating for the moment. "It's fine," he told her.

Kagome nodded, and from the corner of his eye, Inuyasha noticed she was trembling. "Okay..."

Kagome, TALK to me! he cried silently as she refused to look at him. Inuyasha couldn't stand to see her look so frightened, knowing he was the cause.

For a moment, all their unsaid words hung heavily in the air, until Kagome cleared her throat. "I g-guess I'll see you tomorrow, then," she said softly, turning away, and Inuyasha could feel the world turning with her, but felt helpless to stop it as he watched Kilala follow her inside before she shut the door.

Stupid! You're so stupid! Kagome thought as she shut her eyes tightly against her tears. You came al this way to make things better, and you can't even look at him!

A sob broke through her lips, and Kagome wrapped her arms tightly over her stomach, trying to still the violent tremors that passed through her as her tears took over.

He's done with me, isn't he?

Sinking slowly to her knees, Kagome let her sobs wrack her body, knowing there was no way to stop them. Inuyasha was gone, and as much as she needed him, she didn't know what to do. She could see the anger in his eyes, the hurt she'd put there, and didn't know how to take it away.

It had seemed so easy a task when she'd still been in Tokyo, before he'd turned away from her, before she'd heard the stilted tone of his voice. He'd shut her out, and she had no idea how to get back in.

"Get up."

Whipping her head around, Kagome saw Inuyasha standing behind her in the doorway, a strange mix of hostility and concern on his face, and she turned away to rub at her eyes, wishing more than anything he couldn't see her.

"Is this what you came back to do?" he asked her, his voice nearly emotionless, but she heard the most minute crack in his voice. "Because I don't see the point."

Although his tone was harsh, it was killing Inuyasha to see Kagome look so broken. Yet he couldn't continue to go through this, couldn't let Kagome do this to him, or herself.

"...Sorry," she sniffled almost silently, rubbing at her reddened nose, but her eyes were still in shadow from the curtain of her bangs.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked, his tone softer this time, but still guarded.

It took a moment for Kagome to respond as she hitched for breath. "I didn't mean for you to hear. I just couldn't help it."

"Couldn't help crying? What for?"

"Because you're... mad."

Inuyasha sighed, crossing his arms. "You're crying because I'm mad?" he said in disbelief. "Of course I'm mad, Kagome! I'm pissed as hell at you! What did you expect? You wouldn't even give me a chance! After everything I said... you didn't believe a word."

"Yes, I did," Kagome gulped.

Inuyasha chuckled mirthlessly. "Really? If you believe I love you, and if you believe I'm over Kikyou, then why, exactly, did you take off the minute you saw her?"

"She was in your apartment!" Kagome cried, her brow furrowing as she finally looked up at him. "She was using your shower, and wearing your... your underwear! What the hell would you have thought?"

Inuyasha took a deep breath as the fire returned to Kagome's eyes. He could deal with her anger, and was relieved by it. This was the argument that should have taken place a week ago, and he was more than prepared for it.

He was hopeful.

But Kagome wasn't finished.

"It's been Kikyou this and Kikyou that since I came here!" she shouted. "It never made me feel one bit better that no one liked her! She's like... a shadow over everything in my life since I got here," she continued as her voice softened. "And I wanted you to tell me about when you were with her; I really did. So it could be over with, and you could move on.

"But... she told me you'd come back. She told me I was just a replacement, and when I was starting to think everything was..." Kagome smiled ruefully as tears glistened in her eyes. "...perfect.... there she was."

Inuyasha's eyes were with shock from Kagome's admission. When had Kikyou said such a thing to her?

"Kagome... I didn't know," he told her, his voice rough with emotion. "She was just... there when I went in. She was sick, and I told her I'd get her something to eat, but I went to find Kaede."

Kagome nodded. "Yeah," she said as she hugged herself. "You dropped everything for her."

"No!" he cried softly, wanting to reach for her, but things were far from repaired between them. Kagome's fear of being second to Kikyou were as large and looming as ever. "I was going to tell you, but you were in the shower." He sighed. "I should've just went in there, but it didn't seem right to bust in on you to talk about Kikyou. I only thought I was going down the block to call Kaede, but she was at work. I had to go there. I called you, though. By the time I called again..." Inuyasha trailed off; they both knew what had happened after that.

Kagome said nothing for a long moment before a weary burst of laughter left her lips. "She'll always be there, won't she?" she almost whispered, as if revealing an ugly truth to herself. "No matter what."

Inuyasha growled with frustration as he dropped to the floor, forcing Kagome to look at him. "No," he told her. "After I found you were gone, I sent her off. For good."

He saw a bare flicker of hope in Kagome's eyes, but she shivered suddenly, as if trying to shake it off. "No, for now," she replied tiredly, her fingers picking at a long fiber in her area rug. "There will always be something she needs you for. And I can't ask you to tell her no."

"You shouldn't ask me," he told her, and saw the sting his words caused by Kagome's miniscule wince, as if he'd struck her. "You should tell me. Kagome, what did I say to you? Before I left... while we were..."

Kagome blushed slightly at his implication, and even in the midst of all his torment, Inuyasha couldn't help but find it cute.

"You... you said..." She ducked her head bashfully. "I can't."

Inuyasha allowed himself a small smile while she wasn't looking, but reached for her hand. Kagome jumped slightly, almost removing it from his, but then she relaxed, and he caressed her fingers softly.

"I said you were mine," he reminded her. "And I meant it," he added sternly.

"What's that got to do with all of this?" Kagome asked, her gaze focused on their joined hands.

"It has everything to do with it," Inuyasha replied. "I need you," he confessed, and didn't miss the slight gasp from Kagome before he went on. "You've got a step up on Kikyou when it comes to... well, everything. Fuck, you've got a whole ladder, and it pisses me off that you think she can walk right in, and take me away. What does that say about me? And what you think of me?"

Kagome didn't respond as she pondered his words.

"If you think something like that could ever happen, you don't have any faith in me, Kagome."

"I do," she whispered, and he saw the tears falling down her face again.

"You can't," he told her. "Not unless you have faith in yourself first. I chose you, Kagome. You're smart, and funny, and nice, and you're one hell of a fighter, even if you can't see it. I can't stand when you act so fucking helpless, because you're not. You're just used to being protected. People want to protect you, because of how wonderful you are. I know, because I'm the same way. I want to protect you, but I can't protect you against yourself. You ran from me because you believe Kikyou was better than you. I know I fucked up, but you fucked up, too."

"I know."

"Yeah, but you didn't know until I came looking for you, did you? You just assumed the worst until then. You didn't believe in yourself, and you didn't fight for yourself, or for me, and Kikyou almost got her away because of it."

"Her way?" Kagome echoed, her eyes fixing onto his.

Inuyasha shrugged. "I'm pretty convinced she's just out to ruin my life now," he replied.

"Oh," Kagome said with a slight lift of her brow before her seriousness returned. "Inuyasha... I want to believe. I do. But--"

"No buts," he told her, gently squeezing her hand. "That's not how it works. I expect things from you, Kagome. You should expect them from me, too. If you didn't want Kikyou here, you should have thrown her out."

Kagome's eyes widened with alarm at the thought. "But--"

"Ah," he admonished her, holding a finger up. "None of those. I said you were mine, didn't I?"

Her blush returning instantly, Kagome nodded.

"It's a two way street," Inuyasha looked at her softly, taking in every blink of her swollen eyes, and finding them beautiful. "I'm yours, too. If there's a threat to us, like Kouga was, I'll do everything I can to get rid of it. I did that, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"So, why didn't you get rid of her?"

Kagome was floored by Inuyasha's words. Did he really mean it? He wouldn't have gotten angry if she'd ordered Kikyou out of his apartment?

Looking into the warm gold of his eyes, Kagome knew that Inuyasha did mean it. Just as Kouga had been a threat to both of them, so had Kikyou, in her own way. I have to protect him, too, she realized. I have to protect us.

Because he's mine.

A flood of warmth rushed through Kagome as Inuyasha stared into her eyes, all of his words making absolute sense to her suddenly. It was a need, the way she felt for him, and she'd nearly failed him. And herself.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, unable to tear her eyes away from his.

Inuyasha smiled faintly. "That's all I wanted to hear," he whispered, his gaze falling to her lips. "I'm sorry, too."

Kagome felt dizzy in anticipation for Inuyasha's kiss, and as his lips pressed against hers, his forgiveness threw light upon every shadow in her soul; he drove his words home with every pass of his lips over hers. He told her how he needed her, had missed her, craved her. His growl as he gathered her into his lap was a warning to never leave him again, and Kagome opened her mouth to him in a silent promise to never stray from his side.

Inuyasha's tongue swept over hers, his hands pushing at her shirt, desperate to reclaim her, and Kagome understood; she felt the same.

In moments, their clothes were discarded, and Kagome sighed with completion as Inuyasha's warm skin pressed against her breasts, as he laid her gently upon the floor. The intense light in his eyes made her breathless as they darted over her face again and again, drinking her in thirstily. "I love you," he told her softly.

Kagome brought her hand up, running her fingers over his brow before tossing his sock cap away. "I love you, too."

When he entered her, Kagome arched from the hard surface of the floor to take him, all thoughts of pain unimportant. She needed him as close to her as possible, and her hands grasped desperately at him, unable to hold all of him at once as she wrapped her legs around his, molding her body to his own.

Grunting with satisfaction, Inuyasha steadied Kagome with a hand on the small of her back as he drove into her, his tongue lapping at her neck, greedily tasting her. Nipping at the flesh there, he teased himself with the thought of claiming her, and as she moaned from his ministrations, he barely fought the urge, forcing himself away to recapture her mouth again. One day, he told himself as pumped faster, drawing back to stare at Kagome's prone body, held up only by his hand.

He used the same hand to bring her up against him, his cock sinking deeper as he positioned her on his lap, and Kagome's head fell back at the sensation, leaving her neck exposed once more.

After another playful nip, Inuyasha laid back on the floor, and bit back a laugh at his lover's shocked expression from suddenly being the one on top, but he gave her no time to argue about their position. His hands went to her hips, holding them possessively as he lifted her slightly, only to let her slide back down.

"O-Oh," Kagome moaned, her eyes widening with surprise, and when Inuyasha tried to repeat the action, Kagome took over, her inner walls clenching around his length, rending a tortured groan from him. He had to remind himself that there was a point to this position, because it wasn't one he put himself in often.

Finding Kagome's wrists, he pulled her close to him, his lips barely brushing against hers as she rested her elbows on either side of his head. Using his feet for leverage, he thrust into Kagome forcefully, bringing her knees off the floor, and she cried out softly against his mouth. "You want more?" he whispered, his tongue sliding teasingly over her lips.

Kagome could only nod in reply, and Inuyasha smiled playfully as he nibbled her bottom lip.

"Make me scream, then," he told her, going completely still beneath her.

It took a moment for Kagome to understand as she pulled back to look in Inuyasha's eyes.

Make him scream? Isn't that his job?

...Oh.

He's mine, she reminded herself as she sat up once more, her eyes taking in every detail of his flushed skin and dampened hair. She felt exposed, bare to him in more ways than one as his gaze lingered over her body. She knew almost nothing about sex, and had no idea what to do...

But he was trusting her.

She had to trust herself.

Fingers feathering over the silky skin of Inuyasha's chest, Kagome moved her hips slightly to take him deeper, and watched as his eyes drifted shut. Lifting herself from him almost completely, Kagome lowered herself slowly back down on his cock, and felt a wave of pride wash over her as Inuyasha moaned loudly, his brow furrowing as his fingers splayed across her thighs.

Repeating the action, Kagome quickly had Inuyasha panting, and as she fell upon him once more, she braced her hands above his shoulders, her hair falling against him as she worked him at a quicker pace, needing her release, but wanting his more.

She's killing me, Inuyasha thought as Kagome slammed herself against him, her breath coming in quick bursts from her swollen lips, and he wanted to flip her over and drive her into the floor. When she dipped her head to kiss him, he growled loudly, his hands cupping her ass, wanting her harder, faster, more. He devoured her with his mouth, losing his restraint at the feel of her feverish tongue against his. "Fuck me, Kagome," he rasped, his fang scraping across her lip, drawing a thin line of blood that he suckled at greedily.

"Inuyasha," she whimpered, and he felt her shudder against him.

"That's it, koi," he whispered. "Take me with you."

Kagome kissed him hungrily before traveling to his neck, where she nibbled and kissed her way down, and Inuyasha gasped harshly as her burning tongue flicked over his nipple, her blunt teeth scraping across it.

"Gods," he moaned brokenly as she rode him harder, demanding him with her body, and with a harsh growl, Inuyasha did as he was ordered, his hands finding Kagome's hips once more as he pulled her closer, as he drove himself as deeply as she could take him, his orgasm almost violent as it paralyzed him, and from far away, he heard Kagome wail, felt her spasm against him before she collapsed upon his chest, her energy gone.

Listening to their collective gasps for air, Inuyasha's heart finally resumed a normal pace, though he could still feel Kagome's against him. "You alright?" he asked quietly, feeling almost guilty for breaking the silence.

"Uh-huh," she panted, and lifted her head to smile at him. Inuyasha smiled back, kissing her quickly before letting his head fall back to the floor.

"You wanna sleep? For... about a week?" he suggested, and Kagome giggled merrily.

"What? Did I wear out the big, tough hanyou?"

Inuyasha cocked an eyebrow as he stared at her in disbelief. "Were you not just here for the past half an hour? Yes, you wore me out, wench!"

Kagome grinned devilishly. "What if I want to do it again?" she asked.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, but was unable to resist smiling himself. "I'd call you a liar."

"You're right," she sighed, rolling off of him to rest her head on her shoulder. "I'm glad I'm home," she mumbled sleepily, and Inuyasha knew he was going to end up carrying her into the bedroom, but he didn't mind. She'd just called New York home instead of Japan, and for that he would have carried her around the rest of his life.

He was her home now.

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Epilogue next, everyone!