InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shadow In Her Midst ❯ Stop Understanding Me ( Chapter 6 )

SHADOW IN HER MIDST

By L.O. a.k.a. azn_otaku

InuYasha Fanfiction

~##~

A/N: Aaaah, why can't I go back to the days when I had all the time in the world to write fanfiction? Back when I was young and in easy classes? Of course, then I wouldn't have the story writing skills that I have now. So it's a dilemma. But it's SO hard to find the time to write! I might have to start alternating between writing chapters of all three of my stories rather than doing `Shadow' once every week. I don't think I have the time to do two chapters of two stories a week.

Reader Responses:

Tenshi-Hotaru: You're the only one who reviewed on ff.net! That's so sad! Still glad you reviewed though. Actually, my mind tends to wander to sometimes. It doesn't speed up or anything, but I will suddenly out of nowhere go into tangents. There's actually some more Sango/Miroku in here! Yay! Of course, it's a little short but it's an introduction for things to come. And about the store thing, the attendants who are supposed to help you and stuff actually laughed at us. It was a little depressing. (Not really, I'm naturally a dork.)

diablos42069: I'm reeeeeeaaaaaally sorry about taking forever to update! I do try, though. Anyways, I'm glad you like this! New readers are always fun. I'm sure you know by now that this is a Kagome/InuYasha pairing. And Kikyou will wake up eventually. As for what happens next...read and find out!

meera: When Kikyou wakes up? I don't want to give away any details! *Hovers protectively over secret file that contains all `Shadow' planning* You can't make me! Heh. Don't worry, Kikyou WILL wake up. Bet on it.

InuKitsuneMiko: Well, I expect a confession sooner or later from Kagome. From InuYasha too. They're like two of a kind! I don't know exactly when, but I know it will happen before the story is through! Maybe when Kikyou actually wakes up?

LottaLuvGurl: Sorry about the middle-schooler crack then. Not meant to be prejudiced. *Hides head in shame* I just get frustrated, you know? From what I've seen from your stuff though, it looks like things I've written when I was in middle school. So have hope my friend! You can at least say you're better than most of the middle-schoolers writing now.

~##~

"....." Dialogue

[.....] Thoughts

~##~

Chapter Six: Stop Understanding Me

~##~

I focused my energy upon the target, the bulls-eye just a distance away from my arrow. The motions seemed automated, as if they were fixed into my arms as I pulled back the bowstring with ease. Closing my eyes, I knew I didn't need to look at the target to hit dead center. I had practiced this distance often enough, hours and hours in an attempt to get close to my idol, Kikyou. The bow was like an extension of my arm already, the arrow carried all of myself as it soared through the air.

"Sugoi!" The sounds of a group of girls passing by caught my ear. They were talking about me, as I was the only one practicing at the moment. But I doubted they knew my name.

"Wow, dead center! Isn't that like, hard, or something?"

"That girl...haven't we seen her before?"

"Isn't she in our grade?"

[Ka-go-me. I'm Kagome.]

They wouldn't remember me though. I'm not worth mentioning to many people. It's surprising that Miroku-kun and Kouga-kun spotted me at all. I try hard to be interesting, so that I may keep what few friends I have at this school. So that everyone will know me as the cheerful girl that always lends a helping hand. The girl who can do everything right and who always has a smile.

Speaking of smiles, I made sure to paste one on before the girls left. A few of them smiled hesitantly back then ran to catch up with their other friends. Their large group of tight-knit companions.

"Ah! Kagome-chan!"

Whipping my head around, I see Miroku-kun walking up to me with a grin on his face and books in his hand. The sun was shining brightly in the sky though winter would be coming soon, the perfect weather to be out walking to school.

"Ohayo, Miroku-kun. What brings you to school so early?" I made sure to smile my brightest for my friend.

Miroku hoisted his books up and winked at me, "Just come to see my dear little Kagome-chan practice. Is that alright with you?"

"Eh?? You came to see...me?"

[Doushite?]

For a second there, I could swear that Miroku-kun blinked in confusion before shaking it away, "What do you mean? Everyone knows you're the best archer on the team and you're only a freshman! I gotta root for my dear little Kagome-chan, don't I?"

I fidgeted, uncomfortable with this kind of attention. I really didn't expect anyone to know I was here, not many cared to look into this kind of information. My eyes met his tentatively.

"A-Ano...I just didn't expect...I didn't think you'd actually go out of your way to watch me practice. Isn't it bothersome for you?" I couldn't understand why he'd want to see me.

Again, I thought I saw him slightly shaken up. Must be my imagination working its magic. He laughed a little, as if disbelieving my statement.

"Surely you did expect SOMEONE to cheer you on..."

"Iie," I shook my head in bewilderment, "No one ever does."

"Er..."

We stood there, facing each other for a few more seconds. I wasn't sure if it was just me, but the atmosphere seemed a little awkward. He seemed to look at me oddly for a minute or two, then scratch the back of his head. Finally, he grinned as if to shake away his thoughts, whatever they may be.

"You're a strange one, Kagome-chan. But I suppose that's why I like you so much."

"Th-Thank you...I suppose..."

Miroku-kun got a strange glint in his eyes. I was a little wary of that look.

"Yes...a strange one indeed. You and that beauteous Sango..."

"Eh?"

[Where is he taking this?]

"I don't suppose you'd...you know...give me her address or anything...would you? Be a friend and all that..."

"Er..."

~##~

InuYasha glanced over to the slim girl sitting beside him under the tree, her lips smiling at a joke Kouga had relayed to her. He obviously didn't let her see him looking at her; that would've been embarrassing. Besides, it's not like it was a big deal that he was looking at her once or twice. Or three or four times. Maybe a few side-glances here and there...

[Kami-sama, this is pathetic.]

It's not like he was nervous around her or anything. They were friends for now, he supposed. They were supposed to be nice to each other. He just wasn't used to talking to someone that grated on his nerves; that was all. She still gave him that edgy feeling that she knew what he was thinking. It was a little disturbing to imagine some random girl he didn't know very well understanding him completely and fully. As if his friends didn't have enough trouble trying to understand him already.

[Irritating girl. Can't figure her out.]

"Yash?"

Hearing his nickname, InuYasha looked up quickly. Kouga grinned at him in his seat beside Miroku. The guy had obviously asked him something.

"Sorry, what?"

"Geez, you're quiet today. What's up Man?"

"Nothing's up Dumbass, I'm not some chatterbox like the wench over here."

"Mou...I thought you said we were friends!"

"Who ever said anything like that?"

[Oops.]

His mouth was one of his bad points, he already knew that. But it was at times like these that really made him remember why he never made many friends. Kagome looked up at him with confusion in her eyes, before turning her face down timidly. He tried to save face by snorting and turning the other way.

[Wrong move, InuYasha.]

It wasn't like he didn't LIKE the girl or anything. He just didn't like the fact that she unnerved him. He did like her. Wait. No, that came out wrong. He didn't LIKE like her, he just LIKED her. No, that came out wrong too. He just liked her, like a normal kind of like. Like a sister like. Eww, no. She'd make a terrible sister. Okay, so he just liked her like, LIKE like her. Not LIKE like her, just like her.

[Goddammit.]

Growing red in the face, InuYasha mumbled a goodbye to Miroku and Kouga before walking off with a clenched fist.

[Dumbass.]

~##~

She had been contemplating InuYasha's weird behavior all day, it seemed so strange that he would be willing to act friendly one minute and then turn completely ice cold the next. Kagome fished out more lead for her pencil while listening to old Myouga-san's lecture about ancient Japanese legends, her eyes un-focusing to stare blankly at the chalkboard as she considered the rough boy's behavior. Had she done something to offend him? It was not a very likely reason, as she hadn't talked to him directly since that day at the mall. Now that she thought about it, he had been avoiding her ever since that time.

[Maybe he really DIDN'T want to be friends.]

She should have been used to this rejection by now. Her heart had felt this pain before, the knowledge that they only said they were friends when they really weren't.

[I just didn't think someone close to Miroku-kun could be like that.]

Miroku-kun and Kouga-kun liked him, right? How could he be a bad person? There must be a reason why he was so angry with her; it must be her fault that he doesn't like her. She supposed she would just have to get used to his bad attitude when hanging around with his friends.

The bell rang before Kagome finished copying down all the notes she wanted to take. Being the last to leave the classroom, the halls were not as crowded as the minute school got out for the day. The hallway to her locker was empty save for a lone figure, leaning against the wall with his head up high as if asking the gods' advice for his problems. Kagome didn't realize it was actually InuYasha until she reached her locker, and that he was really leaning back on the locker next to hers like he was waiting for someone.

Not wanting to disturb him, Kagome quietly opened the metal door with a click; pulling out several textbooks for her homework tonight and placing her history notebook inside for later use. She thankfully didn't have as much homework as she had expected today; she had finished most of it during study hall. Scanning the contents of her locker one final time, she closed the door as silently as she could and slung the strap of her satchel over her shoulder.

"Hey. Where d'you think you're going?"

[Hmm?]

Stormy grey blue eyes blinked before turning around slowly, not expecting anyone to call out to her. It must have been a mistake. Kagome looked at InuYasha hesitantly before facing him fully, standing several feet away.

"A-Are you talking to me?" Her voice was soft, intimidated by the intense quiet in the school hallway surrounding the pair.

"Stop stuttering." His deep golden amber eyes frowned at her before twitching his nose and looking away in disdain.

"Gomen nasai."

She stood in front of him for several more minutes, not sure if he had called out to her for a reason or not. There was an awkward silence as Kagome shifted from foot to foot in her anxiousness.

"Stop that." InuYasha finally straightened and glared at her.

"Stop what?"

"That...moving about thing you're doing."

Her lips turning downwards into a small frown, Kagome felt herself grow irritated. He didn't have to talk to her if he didn't want to; she was willing to just walk away.

"Why are you so rude?"

He sputtered in indignation, "Me?? Rude? I could ask the same for you! YOU'RE the one going about here, hanging out with MY friends..."

"Gomen, demo I don't think Miroku-kun or Kouga-kun belong to anyone. I'm not stealing them from you, if that's what you mean."

"I never said you were!"

[Huh?]

This got Kagome confused. She stopped a minute to look at InuYasha in deep thought. He scowled at her as if he were a wary dog guarding something precious to him. As if he didn't want her to know what he was thinking.

"Then...what do you mean?"

[He means that he just doesn't want you around him. That you're nothing but a stupid girl. A bad girl.]

She tried to keep the negative thoughts out of her mind, but they kept creeping back in to clench at her heart with an unyielding grip.

"I mean stop hanging around me!"

[See? Nothing but a silly, ignorant, unperfect girl.]

She must have looked depressed because he attempted to explain his words with a lot of jabber and quick motions. As if what he said didn't come out right and he was trying to fix his error.

"I-I mean...stop thinking that you know me, stop being so understanding!"

[...Ara?]

"A-Ano...I never said that I understood you..."

"You don't! You couldn't understand!"

"D-Demo..."

He was starting to scare her now, she tried to back up. She didn't want to understand someone like him; it was like HE understood HER. Like he KNEW that she was unwanted and alone. That she was a bad child that wasn't worth anything. She didn't want to understand someone who understood her.

"You can't possibly understand, so stop trying, okay?"

[He knows I'm not perfect.]

She felt the tears well up again. Kikyou must be laughing at her now, her head hurt so much from the pain. Kagome felt her face heat up and her vision blur as she hurriedly turned away to place a hand over the tear that hastily spilled over one cheek. It wasn't fair, that she was so weak and so unwanted. That she couldn't control her sobbing.

"Gomen..." Her voice was strangely hoarse to her ears.

"S-Stop crying! ...Hey, stop that!" InuYasha stuttered nervously, reaching to grab Kagome's wrist as if that would help stop the stream of salty waterdrops, "Wench, stop being such a crybaby!"

"G-Gomen nasai..."

"And stop apologizing!"

When she didn't reply, InuYasha glared at her and gripped her wrist even harder. He spun her around so she faced him, her hiccups stopping suddenly in surprise.

[Damn wench, making me feel guilty.]

"I'm sorry, okay? Whatever I said, I take it back. Just stop crying for Christ's sake!"

[I didn't mean to...]

He didn't really mean to make her cry. He had never made a girl like her cry before, and he didn't like the way his chest tightened as if he had done something wrong. She looked up at him as if she were ashamed of herself, her eyes still watery. They were large, shimmery with tears. It was as if...as if...

[As if SHE was frightened of ME...]

They were both scared that the other would understand.

~##~

The afternoon was turning to dusk, the sky outside growing darker with tints of purple and orange. Sango smiled to herself before laying her pencil down on the stack of paper in front of her with a satisfied sigh. There was a knocking at the door when she had finished her Math assignment. She put up her textbook with a puzzled look before running downstairs. Her parents were out for the evening.

"Hai? Who is it?"

There was a young man on the doorstep, someone she didn't expect or want to see anytime soon. He stood there with a cheerful smile on his face and his raven black hair pulled back in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck.

"Good evening Sango, how are you?"

Her eyes narrowed, "How'd you find out where I live?'

"I have...my ways."

[Damn.]

She hadn't known him that long, but his personality irked her somehow. He had spent most of his time at their visit to the mall checking her out. And not just her, but all the other girls as well. He was the type of guy she really hated. The one that "played the field" so to speak.

[Demo, he's Kagome-chan's friend. I should be civil.]

"What do you want?"

"Nothing much, may I come in?"

[No, you may certainly NOT!]

"...Whatever."

She led him towards the living room, to the couch where he seated himself with the same pleasant smile that gave her the creeps. Her eyes watched him suspiciously before she settled herself down on the armchair in front of the coffee table, folding her arms. It was obvious she didn't really want him there.

"I'll go in a minute; I just need to ask you something."

"So ask."

[What could he want?]

Leaning back, Miroku folded his arms behind his head. Blinking once, Sango was startled to see a serious look in his violet eyes for once. In the short few hours she had met him, he had never looked the type to stay earnest for more than a minute. What could have caused him to look at her this way?

Miroku raised his eyebrows at Kagome's friend, "Tell me, Sango..."

"Hai?"

"Does Kagome...have any issues she's not telling us? Personal problems?"

"...Eh?"

[Wasn't expecting that.]

Sango straightened in her seat with wide eyes, "Where'd that question come from?"

"It's just that, Kagome seems so cheerful most of the time. But there are other moments when...it's as if she doesn't expect anyone to notice...that she acts different. I'm sure you must have noticed if you're her best friend. It took me a few weeks to really study her, but I think she believes it's actually NATURAL that she acts as if nothing's wrong."

"D-Different? How so?"

[So he has noticed it as well.]

It wasn't just her; Kagome-chan was closing in on herself. And she didn't even realize it. There were times when Kagome-chan really worried Sango, when her eyes would turn scared and alone. Like she knew she didn't matter but it still hurt inside to feel different from the others. She hadn't talked about it much over the summer, but Sango did get Kagome-chan to tell her that she cried at night. The details were fuzzy, however she knew it had to do with Kagome-chan's "okaasan".

Miroku gave her a calculating glance that seemed so unlike the previous personality she had thought she knew, "You're hiding something my dear Sango. Pray tell me what you are thinking?"

"I..."

Sango winced inwardly, not wanting to share Kagome-chan's secrets. Her best friend was like a sister to her, and she had trusted her with her deepest fears their entire lives.

[Until now, anyways.]

Still, she didn't want to betray her friend.

"I...can't tell you now."

Miroku gave her another piercing look before sighing, "Well, it was worth a shot," He paused to grin, "You know, you're quite cute when you're on the defense."

"Wh-What?!"

"Just thought I'd loosen you up. You always look like you hate me or something!"

Sweatdropping, Sango led him sullenly to the door when he said he was ready to go. He had just proven that he couldn't stay on topic for more than a few minutes, not exactly a good trait in a person. She wasn't really sure she trusted Kagome-chan's new friends.

"I'm sure you know you're way home?" It was more of a statement rather than a question.

"It's no problem, thanks for worrying about me though."

"I wasn't worrying!"

"Anyways," Miroku pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket like this was normal for him, "Call me if you feel like talking." He handed her a card that he had probably passed out to other girls. Sango knew he was flirting with her, by the gleam in his eye.

[You're not reeling me in.]

"If I ever feel like talking."

[Doubt it.]

Her intense eyes watched as he strolled down the sidewalk with narrowed eyes. She didn't trust him, but what he mentioned during his brief visit had her worried. Obviously Kagome-chan's mask was slipping if someone as dense (in her opinion) as that lecher noticed. Did this mean things were getting worse? What was that Ms. Shikon doing to Kagome-chan?

~##~

September 23, 2000

I think he knows.

I wish it would all go away.

-Kagome

~##~

A/N: Hmm...I actually think I turned out something not too shabby. Of course, my opinions tend to be slightly skewed as this IS my own work. Anyways, those on fanfiction.net should review more! I mean it! I love all reviews!

~##~

JAPANESE DICTIONARY

Sugoi - Cool, Awesome

-Kun - Suffix used for someone younger or familiar to you. Used for males.

-Chan - Suffix used for someone younger or familiar to you. Used for females.

Ohayo - Good morning

Doushite - Why

Ano - Um, Well

Iie - No

Kami-sama - God

Mou - A term used for exasperation

-San - Suffix used for someone older than you or someone you respect.

Gomen nasai - I'm sorry. `Gomen' is just `Sorry'.

Demo - But

Ara - Term used for bewilderment. Like `Huh?' or `Eh?'

Hai - Yes, Right

Okaasan - Mother

~##~