InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shadow In Her Midst ❯ Isn't It Normal? ( Chapter 5 )

SHADOW IN HER MIDST

By L.O. a.k.a. azn_otaku

InuYasha Fanfiction

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A/N: I'm sorry for taking so long to update! It seems as if my four day hiatus turned into a six day one! I was really busy with finals, and you guys should check on my bio at ff.net for any updates or anything that has to do with writing. I mentioned that I was kinda stressed out for a little while with studying so I took a really short break to get myself back together. And now that it's all over and all I have to worry about for break is my TOK assignment, I'm good to go! I hope you enjoy this update. It's a little longer than the other chapters, just for you readers!

Reader Responses:

SilverKnight7: I like sad stories.

Elven Mischief: More's coming! And I'm glad you like the emotions. Do they seem real enough?

Anubis-sama: Lol, Ms. Shikon and Kasumi do seem a lot alike, don't they? I could say they're related or something. Maybe a cousin twice removed...?

Anti [.] Poptarts: I'm updating! How do you like?

DemonMiko: Normally I_try_to post once a week since these chapters are pretty short. But since I had taken a hiatus, I'm sorry for the delay. I'll try to be more regular with updates! And Kikyou will wake up about three-fourths of the way through the story, so don't worry if you feel like being sadistic and tormenting Kagome! Heh.

meeko: Thanks for the compliments! InuYasha and Kagome look like they're still having rough spots. And Kikyou will wake up eventually. I'll bet a lot of problems will actually come from her coming out of the coma, but that's just me!

Twil: Like I said before, I love sad stories! I don't think this chapter is as sad as the others, but then again I'm not my readers. Don't worry, there will be a happy ending.

candygurl51: I'm updating! Lol.

Tenshi-Hotaru: Having trouble getting out your thoughts? Lol, I try to think up the dialogue so that the most emotional impact is taken in by the reader. I hope it's working, because that's what I love about certain stories. There are just certain things said that get you all worked up and teary! There's more POV for Sango here, and she gets to meet Miroku in this chapter! This will be a Miroku/Sango pairing, but it's not the main plot. Most likely it will be a tiny subplot I'll squeeze in here or there when I want to write about it. Sorry for taking so long to update! And I_will_update `Sunshine' as soon as I can.

Pori-Pori: I love your screen name! InuYasha is very mean, but I suppose it just has to do with his brotherly complex or whatever.

InuKitsuneMiko: I think, subconsciously, InuYasha knows how sad Kagome is because he's probably feeling the same pain. Only he deals with the hurt a little bit differently than she does. I hope to have her vent eventually!

Slywolf9: InuYasha is too too mean, yes? Lol, I'll try to fit Fluffy in for a little bit! I wanted him in this chapter more than in just the beginning, but it took to long to write what I wanted to write! So hopefully in the next chapter. You know, once I get to college I hope to take a Japanese course. That would be sweet. I'll try to take my time but I just like to get out chapters! The break did help me a lot though.

BusinessMija: Wow, it's amazing how much I'm touching the readers! I try to put a little bit of my emotions into my characters, and I have felt like Kagome before. I'm the type that cheers others up too, I normally don't talk about my emotions. I mean, once we ALMOST made it to finals in the state band competition and we were SO close. It was my last year marching too so I starting crying. You know, not saying anything but there were tears falling anyways. My friends said it was the first time they had seen my cry EVER. Heh. It's probably not something to brag about though, keeping emotions in really isn't healthy. But I suppose it's the way I was brought up. I'm glad you enjoy this fic a lot though, you can't know how much it meant to me that you wrote all that in your review and how much it touches everyone. It makes me so happy!

LottaLuvGurl: Mommies are cool, I have to agree. I hope you're reading this on a functioning computer! I think you have promise as a writer, so don't put yourself down! A lot of people believe that all they have to do is write some words and say that they're a writer. Believe me, if you go on ff.net you can see the many middle-schoolers and whatnot saying they're an awesome writer because they took someone else's idea, altered it slightly, and then added bad grammar. I'm not saying I'm perfect but...it's somewhat irritating to see these kids get all the `U R GREAT' reviews and all that. *sigh* So I hope you continue reading this just because! And keep on chugging!

Kym: What kind of fics do you read? BusinessMija actually said Kagome reminded her of herself too. So don't feel bad! I'll give you as many recommendations as I can, but first tell me what kinds of fics you want!

I love all my fanfic readers.

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"....." Dialogue

[.....] Thoughts

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Chapter Five: Isn't It Normal?

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~I'm sorry...I'm sorry! Kikyou...I'm sorry...~

[Why the hell am I still thinking about this??]

InuYasha scowled at his ceiling, refusing to get up for the day. Sunday's were MEANT for sleeping in, and he just HAD to wake up at seven in the fucking morning! It was bad enough to see that it was still before Noon...now his head was once again filled with that damn wench's tears. He didn't want to feel sorry for making her cry.

[And who the hell is Kikyou?]

It didn't sound like any name he knew. He had been brooding in guilt for the past few days, avoiding the wench like a plague. She didn't seem to mind in the slightest, she was probably scared of him or something now. Served her right, trying to get to know him better and all.

[It's not like she's my FRIEND.]

Friends let friends be. They didn't try to poke their noses into other people's business.

His mind reminded him that she hadn't done anything to deserve his wrath. She had actually tried ignoring him for the first week that they had known each other. It was just her very presence that didn't sit well with him at all. Every time her eyes turned to him, they reminded him of how he looked; whenever he had the courage to face his reflection in the mirror. To truly watch his expression and see the look of someone unwanted. Someone hated. Neglected.

"Call for you."

Sitting up from his bed, InuYasha frowned before catching the cordless phone that was thrown at him. His brother barely acknowledged him before drifting out in that I'm-so-much-better-than-you, you-piece-of-shit haze that he had had for as long as InuYasha remembered. Ever since they had been kids Sesshoumaru had despised his entire being. As if it was HIS fault that their father had that filthy affair of his and had brought InuYasha to life. As if it was HIS fault that their family had been torn to bits by that one little incident.

[Well, good fucking morning to you too.]

~##~

"...And when I read that last line I_swear_I saw her hand twitch! I told one of the nurses about it and she wasn't so sure but I think I might tell Kaa-san tonight just in case-"

"Child, do you have nothing else to talk about other than Kikyou?"

Kagome blinked, halting her hand as it was halfway through bringing her teacup to her mouth. She held the small plate in her other palm and her abnormally bright grey-blue eyes looked upwards at Kaede in confusion. Her elbow rested upon the wooden oak of the plush chair, raven black hair tucked neatly behind creamy smooth shells of ears. Kaede wondered every single day how her tiny little Kagome-chan had ended up in this way.

"What do you mean Kaede?"

The old woman sighed, setting her own tea down upon the desk that separated the two so that she could face the child she had raised as her own for so many long years, "Do you not see it? Kagome-chan? You talk as if Kikyou were some goddess. As if she were so much better than yourself. Why is that Child?"

"D-Demo...I only mean to say that Kikyou is such a nice...girl..."

"That's just it. You're putting yourself down in the process of placing this `Kikyou' upon some sort of pedestal."

Kagome looked down at her tea, "I just admire her Kaede...that's all."

"Admiring and Idolizing are two very different things Kagome-chan," Kaede's voice was kind as she urged the girl to look into her eyes, "I would think that your mother pushes this upon you. Is this so?"

"....."

Fearing for the worst, the old woman studied her child's face. Kagome's lip quivered for only a moment before steeling themselves; as if she were coaching her way from the sadness with some sort of mental speech. Slowly, her mouth opened to let loose a shaky breath and she smiled at her surrogate grandmother with such empty eyes that Kaede was taken back by the pain she felt hidden within.

[Had I let this go on for too long?]

"Well...Kagome-chan? Is this the fault of your Okaa-san? Would you like me to speak with her?"

"Oh, no! No, no, Kaede!" Kagome waved her hand frantically as if blowing away the mere thought of the old woman coming to her rescue, "Kaa-san isn't doing anything wrong! In fact, she helps me be strong by talking about Kikyou. I have so much to look up to...there's so much I could do to better myself as a person..."

[Child, what is the woman you call `Mother' doing to you?]

"...I-If I could be even a little bit like Kikyou...I_know_I could make Kaa-san happy! I just have to work harder, Kaede. You always told me I was a hard worker. Remember? I just have to try harder to be like Kikyou, that's all."

Looking into those empty eyes, Kaede could only feel a bittersweet pain when she realized that the bright, cheerful Kagome she knew was no longer. She had feared this moment the minute she had heard Shikon-san's reason for adoption. But Kagome had pleaded with her for so long...

[What has she done, Child?]

[Will you not come back to me as you had before?]

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Three guys were seen wandering the halls of the regular hangout for teens, the mall. Several girls kept an eye out for them, but most were too shy to make a move upon what they dubbed as the cutest men they had seen in a good while. Most were a little nervous by the fierce look in InuYasha's eyes; Miroku's willing hands did nothing to negate the effect of coldness in his friends' expression.

And so they strolled about amongst the peeking glances and whispered giggles; stopping here or there if something happened to catch their eye.

"Eh? You say something Miroku?" InuYasha blinked before turning to stare at his childhood companion, the one currently grinning.

"You're mind has been elsewhere all day my friend. What could be holding your attention for so long, I wonder?"

"Hey," Kouga grinned as widely as Miroku was doing, "Maybe he's finally thinking of a chick. You know, not being so frigid for once."

"I am NOT frigid you asshole!"

Kouga flipped the young man the birdie before smirking, "I didn't mean frigid in a BAD way..."

"Bastard..."

"Now, now, InuYasha. What brings your mind a-wandering?"

"Yeah, it's too little to be let out all alone."

"Why you...!"

"Ah! Kagome-chan!"

"Wha-?"

InuYasha looked to where Miroku was currently waving, and saw the one person that he definitely did NOT want to face at the moment.

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The sounds of teens talking and laughing filled their ears as Sango and Kagome entered the large mall scene. It was their favorite place to hang about, and not because all the other teens did so as well. They always remembered to bring a camera, to try on the oddest fashions they could find in the fanciest boutiques and to snap photos while posing in front of the many mirrors scattered about the stores. Kagome was the best at choosing the bizarre outfits for the two to wear, and they always had a blast in the past dancing and weirding the other customers away. It was their policy, to live life to the fullest and never back down from being odd and having fun.

Until recently, that is.

Sango glanced at her shorter friend who was smiling and humming a mindless tune while running her finger down a list of stores on the brightly lit directory. It had been a while since they had visited this place. Summer had caught them up doing so much more than staying indoors and with school starting they had been busy with homework. But even then Sango could notice the change in her almost-sister's look and attitude. Ever since the end of eighth grade and that dratted sleepover that Kagome-chan had gushed about for days before. The one with that girl she had been friends with in school.

"...ne, Sango-chan?"

Sango blinked; then rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment, "Gomen nasai, Kagome-chan. I wasn't listening, what did you say?"

"How about this one? We haven't visited it in a good while."

"Alright," Sango smiled, "It looks good."

[For you, I will stay strong.]

She had made a promise to protect her friend. They would never make her cry, not if she could help it.

Talking and walking at the same time, Sango didn't see Kagome freeze up for a moment before she heard a male voice call out the girl's name.

"Kagome-chan!"

[Eh? Who could...]

Kagome smiled lightly before walking up to three guys whom she did not know, must be from Kagome's school. One of them seemed not to want her there, but the other two were grinning from ear to ear. Sango halted before following Kagome-chan, not wanting to leave her alone with people she didn't know.

"Miroku-kun! This is a surprise, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, just hanging about as normal teenagers are want to do so. And you, Kagome-chan?"

Kagome smiled a little wider, and Sango noticed that it did not reach her eyes, "I'm here with my best friend Sango-chan! Sango, come meet my other friends from my school!"

[She's so cheerful. It's hard to see the nothingness inside.]

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Sango gave a wary smile and sidled up to stand next to Kagome, keeping herself close to the shorter girl. Her eyes scanned the three young men before nodding her head in a greeting.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Taijiya Sango. And you are...?"

"A pleasure, Sango-chan," The boy with deep violet eyes stared at her appreciatively and shook her hand, "I'm Miroku and these are Kouga and InuYasha."

Sango almost frowned at the familiar way this `Miroku' was speaking to her, but she didn't want to be impolite to Kagome-chan's friends. The boy called `Kouga' waved at her cordially and InuYasha just sniffed before turning his head to the side.

"This is great! Sango-chan, these are the guys I wanted you to meet!"

"That's...great...Kagome-chan..." She really didn't like the way Miroku was looking at her. It reminded her of a wolf in sheep's clothing; the way he smiled like a true gentleman and the way that same smile gave her the shivers.

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"So it's settled then. Kouga will go get food and my dear Sango-chan and I will get drinks. Kagome-chan, you stay here with InuYasha."

"D-Demo..."

Kagome stared around at the large food court and at the table that the group had chosen as a meeting place. It was a little after One, she stood beside InuYasha and could feel the anger in him. It still scared her, after all this time. She turned pleading eyes to Sango, who looked about as uncomfortable as she did.

"Really, it's okay...Miroku..." Sango tried to stand beside her old friend, "I can just as easily get drinks with Kagome-chan. No need to trouble yourself..."

"Nonsense Sango-chan!" The taller boy pulled her over to stand beside him, taking her hand in his, "This will give us time to bond, ne? InuYasha, take good care of Kagome now, you hear?" He gave the silent young man a wink and InuYasha only scowled at him to show his displeasure. He nodded to Kouga before setting off with the lovely Sango to retrieve beverages for five people. Sango started to protest before giving up in defeat and following along with a wary eye on Miroku's hand which was still clutching her own.

Kagome sat down and attempted a weak smile at InuYasha, "It looks like it's just you and me then, ne, InuYasha?"

"Feh!"

He took a seat across from her, not looking at her once before leaning to rest his chin upon the palm of his hand. He stared out at the large crowds, at the lines for the fast food joints, at the tables being cleaned by the janitor ladies, and at anything that wasn't Kagome. The girl fidgeted uncomfortably in her chair and looked down at the table with a small frown tugging at her lips.

[I didn't mean it. Sorry.]

It wasn't so hard to apologize, right? He wouldn't know; he'd never had to apologize before. Everything was always his fault anyways; Sesshoumaru didn't care whether or not he was sorry. He never had a reason to apologize to his friends, or anyone at school. They never bothered him with that kind of stuff. He never had something like this happen to him. He had never made a girl like Kagome cry before.

[Sorry. Is that good enough?]

It was making him angry, acting like a fool just because some girl started blubbering in front of him. When he thought rationally about the entire incident, it was as if she wasn't even crying because of him! She was sobbing about some `Kikyou' character, or whatever. So why SHOULD he apologize?

Perhaps, because, in his mind he felt guilty. As if it WAS his fault that the wench was sad.

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Kagome tried hard not to move too much else she attract InuYasha's attention and bring up more harsh words. It wasn't as if she was SCARED of him or anything...she just didn't like the way he hit home with the so many nasty things he said. She came to the mall to have fun with Sango-chan, not to cry again and be reminded of how she was imperfect. She couldn't dare to look up at the boy she knew was glaring because of her. He was mad because he had to spend time with her.

The old Kagome would have said something. She wouldn't have taken this treatment.

[But that's the `old' Kagome. The one from BEFORE.]

Before she knew that she wasn't a good girl.

"...rry."

"...Huh?"

Looking up, Kagome blinked in surprise at InuYasha who still glaring at the crowds. Except now his cheeks seemed redder than before.

The boy growled and gave her a quick glance before shifting in his seat, "I said `Sorry'. You happy, Wench?"

[Oh...]

Kagome blushed in embarrassment, not liking the harsh look he was giving her, "I-It's alright. I don't mind..."

He stared at her oddly before `hmph-ing' and folding his arms. Leaning back in his seat, he tried to look like he didn't care before going on.

"So...it's all good, okay?"

"...Hai." Her voice was soft.

He hesitated just a little, "...Friends?"

[Friends...?]

Kagome looked up at him in surprise and he shifted his eyes so that he wasn't staring at her openly. She thought it took forever and a day for him to trust anyone, at least that's what Miroku had told her. But if being friends meant that he wouldn't be so angry with her...then...

"...Hai. Friends."

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September 20, 2000

I made peace with InuYasha today. Hopefully that means that he won't say such spiteful things, although I wouldn't be too sure by the way he talks to Miroku and Kouga. But it's worth hoping for, right?

Kaede thinks there's something wrong with me, doesn't she?

It's not such a big deal. It's normal to admire someone. Isn't it? It's normal to think someone's better than you. Isn't it?

Isn't it normal?

-Kagome

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A/N: About the whole taking photos while posing in front of boutique mirrors...my friends and I actually do that. It's quite fun and I suggest it for a good stress reliever. Especially watching other people try not to laugh at you. But then again, I've always been told that I'm not like everyone else. I think it has something to do with being a dork.

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JAPANESE DICTIONARY

Kaa-san; Okaasan - Mother

-Chan - Suffix for someone familiar to you or someone younger than you. Used for girls.

-San - Suffix for someone older than you or someone you respect.

Ne - Yes. Right.

Gomen nasai - I'm sorry

-Kun - Suffix for someone you're familiar with. For boys normally.

Demo - But

Hai - Yes. Right.

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