InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Stolen Soul ❯ Mind To Mind ( Chapter 12 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Note: This chapter has a couple of minor sexual references, but nothing to take it beyond PG-13. This chapter also shows a fair amount of sympathy for Kikyo, so Kikyo haters might be displeased. But this is what I was planning from the beginning.

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. This fic, however, is mine. Please don't take it without my permission.


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Chapter 12
Mind To Mind

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Everyone was gathered in the hut as Kaede quickly and efficiently dressed the burns on Inu-Yasha's chest. He had insisted that they shouldn't take time for such an unnecessary thing, but Kaede had been just as insistent that they treat his wound before he exerted more energy through the spell she planned to cast.

"So, what do I need to do?" he asked, impatient to get started. What if Kikyo gets control while we're wasting time like this?

Finishing up the bandaging around Inu-Yasha's torso, Kaede explained, "If your hearts and souls are already linked, we may be able to link your minds, as well. It would require that your bodies be linked..."

"Ah!" interrupted Miroku with an understanding nod. "We must give them privacy for this, then."

"What?" screeched Inu-Yasha, blushing furiously. "No! She's not talking about that , you pervert!" But then Inu-Yasha cast a nervous glance at Kaede. "You aren't talking about that, right?"

Kaede patiently reassured him, "You need only bring your bodies very near to each other. Holding her close to you should be enough to define a link. For the kokoro magics to work in this case, we must ensure that your hearts, souls, and bodies are linked before we attempt to link your minds."

"Let's go, then. While we're waiting around, who knows what's going on in there." Inu-Yasha gazed across the room at Kagome's body, which lay unmoving on a sleeping mat. Sango and Shippo sat beside her, their faces worried and strained. They'd both been injured, but had not yet treated their burns, because they refused to leave Kagome's side.

Inu-Yasha stood and walked to Kagome, picking her limp body up into his arms, then settling himself cross-legged with his back against the wall. Sango and Shippo moved out of the way as Kaede and Miroku approached and sat cross-legged on the floor, facing him.

Inu-Yasha shifted Kagome's weight in his arms, bringing her rear to nestle comfortably in the hollow created by his legs. He wrapped one arm across her back, reaching up so that his fingers reached almost to her nape, allowing him to apply pressure to the entire length of her back, pulling her tightly against his own bare chest, which was dressed only in bandages. He winced at the pain, but did not pause. His other hand rose up to press her head to his shoulder, his fingers tangling in her dark hair just as they had done so many times in his dreams. He breathed in her scent, and then asked Kaede, "Is this close enough?"

The old woman nodded, and then she and Miroku began to chant softly. Their powers had been greatly taxed by their battle against Kikyo, but their determination seemed to serve them well as a crackling power began to fill the room.

* * *

So how am I supposed to know if the damned spell worked or not? What, am I just supposed to sit here and see what happens? I hate shit like this. Give me Tetsusaiga and let me cut something to ribbons ... that's a good day. I hate shit that makes me feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Even if the spell works, how am I supposed to...

Inu ... Yasha?

Uh ... Kagome?

This must be a dream.

No, it's me. I'm really here. I came to tell you to fight.

Fight? Fight what?

Kikyo. I don't understand all of it, but I guess you and Kikyo are both inside there right now, and you have to fight to get control of the body.

What are you talking about? I'm dead.

No, you fucking well are not! You can still come back, if you'll just fight for it. Gods! Why does she have to be so fucking dense?

I'm not dense, Inu-Yasha. And I can hear everything you're thinking.

What? No you can't. ... You can't hear this. I'm thinking of ... uh ... ramen!

You're thinking of ramen.

Fuck! You can really hear everything I think?

I guess so. I'm not sure why.

Shit! Don't think about watching her bathe! Don't think about what she looks like naked! Don't think about what I do by myself sometimes when I think about what she looks like naked! Don't think about...

INU-YASHA!

Fuck! The more I try not to think about stuff, the more I can't get it out of my head!

I had no idea you thought about me that way.

Yeah, well, I don't !

Uh huh.

Well, I didn't want you to know, did I? I don't want you to know now, either, but I don't really have a choice.

It's okay, Inu-Yasha. I know it doesn't mean anything.

Exactly! Wait. What do you mean 'it doesn't mean anything'?

I know you love Kikyo, Inu-Yasha.

Well, yeah, I did. A long time ago.

And now that she's human again, you can have the life together that you always wanted. I don't have anywhere I belong anymore. I can't even go through the well to go back home to my family. And the family I had here is all gone now.

What are you babbling about, you brainless twit? We're all still here. We've all been fighting like hell to save you.

Now I know you're a dream.

Kagome, you idiot, I am not a fucking dream!

Inu-Yasha, you really don't have to pretend anymore. I never wanted you to have to choose, because I knew that the choice was already made.

Yeah, it was. A long time ago.

I know. It's okay. I'll be all right, Inu-Yasha.

Gods! You're so fucking stupid! Don't you even want to know what my choice was?

I told you, Inu-Yasha. I already know. It's okay.

Okay, look ... when I first met you, I was pissed as hell. I pretty much hated the whole world.

I remember.

But I'm different now, right? I mean, in here you can hear everything I think, so I can't really hide from that fact. I've changed. Right?

I guess so.

Well, that's because of you, you big idiot. See, before I met you, Kikyo was the only person who had ever been kind to me, the only person who ever made me feel like maybe I wasn't alone.

I know, Inu-Yasha. That's why you love her, right?

Yeah, I think that's why I loved her. But you're not listening to me, Kagome. Because Kikyo didn't change me ... you did.

I don't understand. How did I change you?

You're so fucking stubborn, you just wouldn't give up on me. No matter how sure I was that humans hated me, that everyone hated me and I was all by myself in the world ... you just kept staying with me, fighting for me, crying for me, talking to me, trying to get me to talk to you.

I knew you were just acting tough, and that you probably were lonely deep down.

You were right, even though it drove me crazy and made me act pretty rude most of the time. It was scary to have someone really start to know me well. Kikyo and I never really talked very much, and she never really knew me. If she knew me, she would have known I wouldn't betray her. In the same situation, if Naraku pulled the same trick on us, I don't think you would believe it was really me.

Of course not! I know you would never hurt me on purpose, Inu-Yasha!

See? You kept getting to know me, how I really felt underneath all the big talk. And that was scary as hell to me.

Why?

Because if you really knew me, if anyone really knew me, then I might get hurt. I didn't want you to know how to hurt me.

But I would never hurt you, Inu-Yasha.

Well, I started to figure that out. And that was scary, too. Because I'd never truly trusted anybody, not since my mother died. You were the first. And that scared the hell out of me, Kagome.

Why? I don't understand.

Because it couldn't be true. You can't really accept me the way I am. I mean, look at how Kikyo reacted when she saw me transformed. She was disgusted .

Have I ever acted disgusted by you, Inu-Yasha?

Uh ... no.

That's because I'm not.

But you've seen me when I'm nothing but a weak human, and you've seen me when I'm a mindless demon ... and you still didn't leave me. It still ... I still don't understand it. Not really.

It's because I love you, Inu-Yasha.

But how can you?

I don't know. I just do.

How can you love a demon ?

Inu-Yasha, I have seen you at your best and at your worst and I still love you. I would still die for you. I love you because of who you are, Inu-Yasha. So stop being stupid and acting like I could only love you in spite of who you are.

I can't ever tell you about my feelings for you.

Why not?

Because I don't have any right.

What do you mean, 'right'?

I know that your real life is in the future, and I don't have any right to try to make you stay here ... with me.

If you need me here, Inu-Yasha, I'll stay. I've told you already that I'll stay with you, even though you're with Kikyo now.

Fuck! Enough about Kikyo! This has nothing to do with her!

I only want you to be happy, Inu-Yasha.

Gods! Quit being such a wimp, Kagome! You've always met me on equal ground and shouted at me until my ears rang. Don't just give up like some damned coward!

Give up? Inu-Yasha, I already lost. I'm dead.

No, you are not fucking dead ! I already told you that, but you never fucking listen! You just have to fight.

Fight what?

I don't know! I just know that you have to want to live, you have to at least try, at least fight! Because there are people out there who love you and don't want to lose you.

Really?

Yeah. They're the same damned people you dragged into my life. I never had friends before, never really had a family, but you ... you made me feel like I had a place in the world, Kagome. I never thought people could like me ... but you made me see that they could, though I have no idea why. You made me see that people weren't as bad as I thought, and now I have all these people in my life, all these ... friends. People who fight beside me and care if I'm hurt and ... and they're your friends, too, Kagome. And they're all waiting for you.

But what about Kikyo?

Fuck Kikyo! None of us would rather have Kikyo than you. We all want you with us, Kagome. So quit wasting time and take control of your own damned body.

Even you, Inu-Yasha? You want me with you?

Kagome ... when Kikyo died ... she changed. She isn't the person I loved anymore. I still felt like I owed it to her to be there for her and avenge her death ... but ... that's all. I haven't loved her in a really long time.

But ... I thought your choice was made long ago...

It was. Kagome ... I'll never be worthy to be with you. So my feelings don't matter. I'm just a hanyou, and I don't understand much about your world, and I know you'll go back there when we've defeated Naraku...

Inu-Yasha?

What?

How do you feel about me?

I shouldn't tell you. It isn't fair to you.

Inu-Yasha, how do you feel about me?

You say you love me, but eventually you'll leave. Eventually you'll leave me.

Inu-Yasha, how do you feel about me?

No no no no no no no. Not thinking it not thinking it ...

Why won't you tell me? Is it so terrible?

Right now, you could hurt me more than any other person in the world. But if I tell you ... if I tell you ... then you could destroy me.

Do you think I would do that?

Not on purpose, no. But you'll leave. It's best if I don't tell you, because if I tell you and then you leave anyway ... that'll be much worse than having you leave without me saying anything.

Inu-Yasha, I love you.

Yeah, you said that before.

When?

In my dreams. And then just before Kikyo attacked you the last time.

How could I tell you in my dreams?

The old woman said ... she said your heart was reaching out to mine while we slept.

Do you think my heart would lie?

Uh ... I guess not.

I love you, Inu-Yasha. I really do.

I'm scared.

It's okay, Inu-Yasha. You don't have to tell me. I understand.

What do you understand?

It's hard when someone tells you they love you, and you don't feel the same way. It's hard to figure out what to say. I'm sorry I put you in that position.

Hell, Kagome! How dense are you, anyway?

I told you, I am NOT dense! And if you won't tell me then how am I supposed to know what's going on? Even in your own thoughts you're stubborn and uncommunicative!

...

Great. Now you're not even thinking. Trying to shut me out, even here?

I ... love you, okay?

What?

I said ... I love you.

No you don't.

FUCK! Kagome, what the hell is your problem? I do too love you, so quit being such an idiot!

Why?

Hell, I don't know. Right now all I want to do is wring your neck.

...

Are you laughing?

...

Shut up! Quit laughing!

Sorry, Inu-Yasha. It was just ... so romantic...

Quit laughing, you brat.

You really love me, Inu-Yasha?

Yeah. I guess I do.

I love you, too.

Yeah, I figured that out.

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Suddenly, Inu-Yasha found that he was blinking his eyes, awake and aware in the hut once more, with four faces staring at him. Only Kirara seemed unconcerned, curled up asleep beside his hip.

"What happened?" he asked blearily, glancing around in confusion.

Miroku admitted, "We had hoped that you would know."

And then Kagome's body began to struggle weakly against Inu-Yasha's constricting embrace. His eyes wide and apprehensive, he slowly loosened his hold. Her face still gently pressed against his haori, Kagome murmured quietly, "My heart ... it's beating . I can hear my heart beating."

Turning her face to gaze dazedly out at the others, Kagome asked tentatively, "Am I alive?"

Inu-Yasha turned her head so that he could look into her eyes, searching for some sign, and then he said softly, "Kagome?"

"Well, yeah. Duh. Wow! I feel like I got hit by a truck!" Kagome tried to stretch her aching body, but Inu-Yasha was still holding her firmly.

"What's a truck?" Shippo whispered to Sango, but the demon exterminator only shrugged.

Everyone was smiling cautiously now. What exactly had happened? And was it finished now, or was there more to come?

Kaede said calmly, "I felt a pulse of power just before Kagome woke. It felt like a purifying surge."

"What does that mean?" asked Sango, watching her friend with concern.

"It means," said a calm voice which all recognized with horror, "that Kagome's self became once again intertwined and whole: body, soul, heart, and mind. And when this happened, she unknowingly purified my corrupted heart, just as she once purified the corrupted Shikon jewel within her body."

"K-Kikyo?" Inu-Yasha stuttered disbelievingly, letting go of Kagome's body so that he only barely supported her with one hand on her back. What had happened? He had been so certain that it was Kagome who had woken up!

"Do not worry, Inu-Yasha. Kagome is merely giving me an opportunity to make my peace before I depart this world once more. She would still allow me control of the body if you wish it, however."

"No!" cried Inu-Yasha quickly. "It's Kagome's body!"

The smile on Kagome's face was small and sad. It was Kikyo's smile. "I knew your heart already, Inu-Yasha, but your beloved did not. She begins to accept, however."

Inu-Yasha uncomfortably said, "I did love you once, Kikyo. I loved you very much."

"I know that, Inu-Yasha. And I loved you as well. But we did not know each other's minds and hearts as well as we might have. If we had, none of this would have happened." She paused a moment and then continued, "But perhaps all of this needed to happen, or you would not have met the one your heart truly loves."

"I'm sorry, Kikyo," Inu-Yasha said quietly. "I never meant to betray you."

But Kikyo smiled gently and said, "You never did betray me, Inu-Yasha. It was only the hatred of my corrupted heart that said you had. I see now how Naraku deceived us both, and how our love was twisted to hate. But your heart survived, Inu-Yasha. Never be sorry for that. I would not wish you a life of pain and loneliness."

"I swear to you that I will avenge your death!" Inu-Yasha said grimly. "I will defeat Naraku! And I will never forget you."

Kikyo's smile was still gentle when she replied, "And I shall defeat Naraku by your side, for some small part of me lives on in this woman's soul. And I know you will always honor your oath to protect me ... by protecting her."

Inu-Yasha pressed a gentle kiss to Kagome's forehead, his farewell to Kikyo, and she once again smiled serenely, her eyes softer than he had seen them in fifty years.

Looking away toward Kaede, Kikyo asked, "I trust you will gather the shards baked of my bones and grave earth, sister? I would have them buried once more."

Kaede nodded and replied respectfully, "Of course, Kikyo."

"Thank you," Kikyo said quietly.

And then Kagome's eyes closed and her body relaxed in Inu-Yasha's arms. A faint white light rose from her body and left through the door. When it reached the outside, it was joined by several soul skimmers that had emerged from the forest, their long cold bodies twining around the shimmering light as if in farewell. When the light rose up, the soul skimmers lingered a long moment until the glow had disappeared above, and then the demons slithered and wound their way through the forest, their service to their mistress finally truly complete.

Inside the hut, Kagome's body roused in Inu-Yasha's arms once again, but her eyelids were heavy. She leaned trustingly against Inu-Yasha's chest, one hand at his waist tangling in his long white hair without even realizing it. She murmured sleepily, "Gosh, I'm so tired! I just want to sleep for a week!"

Inu-Yasha, his own body exhausted by the magics as well, held her close and said quietly, "Sleep, Kagome. It's okay. I've got you." And so they both closed their eyes, falling to sleep quickly, leaving their friends to quietly creep away to let them rest.


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To Be Continued: Only One More Chapter!

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