InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Suddenly Love ❯ kagome ( Chapter 37 )

If only I could tell you how much his little conversation with Kikyo hurt me, it would be perfect but no words can match the great pain hiding within my heart. After I left him alone in the table, I went to the bathroom to clear things up. I needed to think a lot but then I felt my breathing short, I didn't know why… maybe it was because of that stinky fake lavender smell placed in the bathroom. I felt like throwing up since lavender was up to my guts and the only thing I thought of was getting out of there. I walked out and since I thought I wouldn't be able to walk all the way to downstairs, I thought that maybe I should breathe in and out in the balcony. After a few minutes of breathing pure air, I heard someone beneath my feet. I finally realized that Kikyo and Inuyasha had been sitting there for a long time, who knows how much. I listened attentively, I heard her speak.

 

“So… what do you think now? Are you still confused about your feelings or do you really love me?” I heard her say, I was about to gasp but I held it so they couldn't hear me.

 

“Yeah…” I heard him say and I felt my breathing short, I was sobbing and I couldn't control it but I just covered my mouth with my hand and ran back to the bathroom.

 

I locked myself inside for a short moment; all I could do was cry. I let every tear fall down to my dress and I let every sob choke down my throat. I was crying silently because I didn't want people to know that there was something wrong with me although I knew I was alone at the second floor. I wanted to go back to that moment, go downstairs and hit his gorgeous face and rip off that great silver hair but I couldn't because I was very in love with him. I finally let out a sob, it was short and very low but I felt that my pain had finally fled, not really but I felt somehow better. I was looking at myself at the mirror, I checked my red puffy eyes and I saw the lines my tears had tracked while they raced down my face. I grabbed toilet paper and cleaned them as for my eyes, I washed them with water, the redness didn't seem to go away but at least I didn't look as if I cried. I walked back out and since I wanted to be alone I thought about going back to balcony when I heard someone behind me.

 

“I was looking for you” I heard Kouga's voice say and I sighed.

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked a bit frightened, he had surprised me.

 

“Inuyasha's brother hired me to picture his whole wedding and I…” I shook my head, he was playing games and I wasn't in the mood for them.

 

“Why are you here?” I asked again and he chuckled.

 

“I saw you leaving” he said and I sighed.

 

“I thought no one noticed” I replied and kept walking to the balcony, he followed me.

 

“I would always notice when you're gone, I wanted to talk to you” I didn't look at him, I looked down and noticed that Kikyo and Inuyasha were gone… they might be planning their wedding, bastards.

 

“About what?” I asked a bit annoyed and finally met his gaze, he was smiling lightly and looking at me intensively.

 

“Kagome… I know that many things had happened between us, I'm mostly sorry for our dates lately but I…” he laughed a little. “I wanted to let you know that even though you love Inuyasha… my feelings for you will never go away”

 

“What makes you think I love him?” I asked, of course I loved him… but I hated him so much at that moment that I even wanted to go and kill him.

 

“C'mon Kagome, I'm your friend… you can't hide it from me” I shook my head and I turned around, I felt like crying again.

 

“You're wrong Kouga… if there's someone I love it's not him” I said and a sob came out, he turned me around to face him and cleaned my eyes.

 

“What's wrong?” he asked and I hugged him.

 

“He just broke my heart” I answered and cried some more, he cuddled me and I kept on crying.

 

“So… now you…” I didn't even let him finish because I wanted to let out what I felt for him at that moment.

 

“I hate him…” I whispered. “I can't stand it anymore, I hate him more than ever… I hate Inuyasha” I buried my face in his chest and tried not to cry anymore.

 

“Hush babe, everything will be alright” he said and caressed my hair, I felt much better now.

 

“I can't believe I ever thought I loved him” I said and more tears came from my eyes, he grabbed my chin and kissed me.

 

At that moment I wanted to push Kouga away and ask him how dare he take advantage of my situation but with the corner of my eye I was able to see my silver haired god staring at us so I did my best to appear I enjoyed it, I just wanted him to feel as much or even worst than how I felt that moment. I heard him kick lightly the door of the balcony and I broke apart to face him, I looked at him and he seemed to have that same look when he once told me to forget everything. I wanted him to say anything, whatever I just needed to know how that made him feel. But instead he just took one look at me before turning around and walking back downstairs.

 

“Kouga…” I said and he looked at me, I bit my bottom lip. “I was using you to make him jealous”

 

“At least I enjoyed it” he joked and I smiled.

 

“I'm sorry, I have to go” I said and I ran downstairs, I found him sitting at the table with a glass of champagne in his hand.

 

“Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?” he asked and I scoffed.

 

“You're a jerk, you know that?” he nodded.

 

“At least I'm not a stupid slut” he replied and I shook my head.

 

“Forget everything I ever said about my feelings for you…” I said and was about to walk away when he grabbed me by my shoulder.

 

“I forgot about everything the moment you dared to kiss him” he hissed and walked away from me, I wanted to grab his shoulder and tell him that I heard what he said to Kikyo but I decided to leave it that way, instead I walked over to the bar and asked him for his strongest drink.

 

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After the party which was the longest one I've ever been to, I was finally ready to go back home. I tried to get away from Inuyasha but he seemed to follow me everywhere, I wanted to go to the bathroom and I found him there, I wanted to get another drink and I found him there, I even wanted to be alone to think and I found him in the spot I was planning to be at! I let out a sigh when Rin was hugging me, she was crying because of her happy new marriage. I forced a smile on my lips and saw Sesshomaru talking about something with Inuyasha, he was very mad while Sesshomaru was trying to make him change his mind, somehow I hoped they were talking about me. I hugged Rin tighter as I felt that nothing between me and Inuyasha will be the same anymore.

 

“I'm glad you two came! You are the sweetest couple ever” I faked a smile, Rin returned it and I kissed her cheek.

 

“I have to go… I'll call a cab” I said and Rin's smile vanished.

 

“Why? Aren't you going with Inuyasha?” she asked worried and I shook my head lightly.

 

“I have some things to do… I'll visit you someday Rin” she nodded and turned to Inuyasha.

 

“Don't you dare to hurt her again Inuyasha” she warned, I wanted to yell that the bastard had already did but I remained quiet as Sesshomaru looked at me worried.

 

“Goodbye Kagome” he hugged me and I heard him whisper in my ear. “I'll kick his ass for being so stupid”

 

“Thanks” I mumbled and truly smiled, I felt tears trying to come out my eyes but I wiped them away before they could fall. “See you some other day Sess”

 

“Bye Sess, bye Rin” Inuyasha said and went to his car; I pulled out my cell phone and called a cab.

 

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It's been a whole month since that incident happened and Inuyasha and I still haven't spoke to each other. I never thought that this kind of fight will be so painful yet annoying, we didn't even want to see each other or at least I didn't want to see him… not just yet. Whenever it was time to sleep, he slept at the couch and I slept at Souta's room, we didn't switch like before; we only looked at each other when we were at work. It was a sunny day but it was raining in my heart and my inside, I was alone while Inuyasha was somewhere else doing something… I wish I knew what he was doing, I wanted to be away from him but at the same time I wished to be with him, pretty weird huh? I was petting Kirara when I heard the doorbell, I thought that maybe it was for Inuyasha since I haven't invited anyone but after the third ring I went to the door only to find my brother standing there.

 

“I'm legal!” he said and hugged me.

 

“What?” I asked confused and I heard him laughing.

 

“Hello? Kagome? Today is a very important day…” I tried to remember… nope, I couldn't think of anything. “You don't know? What kind of sister do I have? It's my birthday!”

 

“Oh” was the only thing I managed to let out, I hugged him tighter. “Congrats, I'm sorry… I've been very busy and very distracted”

 

“That's alright sis…” he sighed. “Today is the day in which I can finally claim my part of the will and… I'm moving out from grandpa's house”

 

“You are?” I asked and he nodded with a smile.

 

“And there's something else I've been meaning to ask you…” he went to the couch and took a seat; I followed him and sat next to him.

 

“What?” he shook his head.

 

“Never mind… you might be very happy here with your boyfriend” I did my best to smile and pretend that everything was alright but I failed. “What's wrong?”

 

“We kinda… broke up” I said, it wasn't entirely true since we were never together to begin with but after that I think that what we had was over, just like he said it.

 

“I'm… I'm sorry” he said and I shook my head. “I'm gonna break his neck”

 

“No!” he looked back at me and I saw that the look on his face was serious. “Don't do anything… leave things the way they are”

 

“Okay…” he let out a frustrated sigh and smiled. “Now, back to my question… Kagome, I'm renting an apartment and with the money of the will but since it won't last forever I'll get a job… anyway, my point is that maybe you will like to sell your part of the house and come to live with me… what do you say?”

 

“Souta… that's very generous and I think I would love to live with you but I…” I stopped, here was my perfect chance to get away from Inuyasha and I was rejecting it because my heart was still hooked up with him. “I think I'll let you know later… but until then… why don't we go celebrate your 21 birthday?”

 

“Sure!” he said and practically pulled me out of the house.

 

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Souta was very happy to finally reach his 21, I was happy I was out of the house and I was unhappy once our dinner was over. Souta said he had a date with his girlfriend and then he would go have fun with his friends so I stuck at home. Seeing that Inuyasha was nowhere around I was at the couch, I looked for something to watch in the TV and found one of my favorite movies in the world `Jerry Maguire', I have always loved that movie since it didn't seem that much of chick flick. I sighed since it was already ending and it was the cheesiest part. I felt the urge of repeating the sweetest lines in the movie.

 

“You… you complete me” I heard someone behind me say and I saw Inuyasha. “You think you're the only one who likes that movie?”

 

“Shut up… you had me at `hello'” I replied and he half smiled as he took a seat next to me, it was the first time since that stupid incident that I saw him smile.

 

We looked at each other for a few minutes, the only noise that I heard was the TV and once I was finally tired of it, I grabbed the remote and turned it off. Inuyasha sighed and rested his arms behind his head. I couldn't handle anymore, I needed to get this clear and I didn't care if it made everything worst.

 

“What happened to us?” I asked and he shook his head.

 

“You cheated on me with Kouga and you still ask what?” I looked at him furious.

 

“Are you serious?!” he didn't look like he was kidding so I scoffed. “As if your little meeting with your ex and telling her how much you loved her was nothing”

 

“It meant nothing! I'm over her, why can't you understand that?!” he yelled and I shook my head.

 

“Inuyasha, it's you who doesn't understand that you clearly are still not over her… and I can't handle it!” he grabbed his head and closed his eyes in fury.

 

“What do you know about my feelings?!” he asked furious and I looked at him the same way.

 

“A lot about them…” I replied and he scoffed.

 

“You don't know shit” he said and I looked at him hurt.

 

“You don't love me! And I know it! I heard you telling Kikyo how much you love her and that's more than enough for me to know that you are not in love with me” I said my voice getting softer by each word and my eyes pouring more water every time I felt the wound in my heart opening again.

 

“You misunderstood” he said and was leaving; I walked behind him and yelled.

 

“Inuyasha Takashi! Don't you dare to walk away from me! We are not done with this conversation!” he looked back at me and sighed.

 

“You're angry… I understand that but you're angry about something that didn't even happen” he explained and I took a step closer to him.

 

“I don't want to be angry at you” I admitted and walked closer to him, I was inches away from his face.

 

“Me neither” he was about to kiss me but I moved my head away from his and looked down to my feet.

 

“Tell me what you feel for me… and everything will go back to normal” I said and he let out a long breath. “Tell me Inuyasha…”

 

“I… I…” he was speechless and I felt my heart aching by every second he stuttered. “I care a lot for you…”

 

“But you don't love me” I said and walked away from him he grabbed me by the shoulder like he had done previously.

 

“I do” he said and I cried.

 

“Then why don't you just say it?! What is it with you and making me suffer?!” I asked and he looked away. “Look at me dammit!”

 

“I just… don't know how to say them, when I saw you with Kouga… I was going to let them out of my mouth but… I'm a bit hurt Kagome, do you think it's fair for me to confess my feelings when my heart is aching?” he asked and I cleaned away the tears in my eyes.

 

“Do you think is fair to keep my heart aching?” I replied and he looked away. “I just can't do this anymore Inuyasha… I thought I could handle it, even when you said that you didn't know if you loved me I was going to wait for you to figure out your feelings and then when you finally let out those words I would embrace you and never let you go… but now, I feel that the only thing I want to do is to get away from you… my heart needs a rest and I think that there's nothing I want more than to be with you but at this moment… I just want to walk away from the pain and turn my back to you”

 

“Are you saying…” he swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment. “That this is over?”

 

I thought about it for a moment, I didn't want to leave him, if there was anything more painful than hearing Inuyasha hesitate about his feelings for me… was walking away from him when I needed him the most. But somehow I knew that it might be the best for me and maybe it will be good for him too.

 

“Yes” he looked at with an emotionless expression and then I cleaned another tear that fell down from my eye to my cheek. “Our whole relationship is now over”

 

 

 

A/N: I had this chapter already written and I was battling my good side on whether I should post it or not… well, my good side won and here it is but my bad side is going to enjoy it more since I won't update in a week or two (I love it when I'm mean! lol) anyway! Review please!!! =) (oh right, 3 chapters left… T_T)