InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The InuInfoNet ❯ Fluffy Report and Fanmail ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Starlight Vixen 
Episode Three. Meet Kagami.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Fantasy / Adventure / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.03.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 162 | Status: Completed
Episode Three. Meet Kagami.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Fantasy / Adventure / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.03.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 162 | Status: Completed
The Inuyasha Information Network Proudly Presents. . .
Your Daily News
Your Hosts are:
Kiki, Besa, Kagami, and Jessim
-Start Episode 3-Fluffy Report and Fan Mail-
Jessim: This is Jessim at the news desk, filling in for Kiki and Besa, who're on a *cough cough* special assignment today. Have we had any Fluffy sightings recently, Kagami?
Kagami: We have recently had one sighting Jessim, a quick and half of one, but a sighting. I'm here at the Shikon Air Force Base somewhere deep in Nevada; location not to be given (Damn superiors), and it was earlier at this air base that a small child, playing with a girl she refers to as Rinny, saw a flash of white and her friend was gone. We can assume this friend to be Rin, who is under the guardianship of Sesshoumaru, therefore he was the flash of white spotted by several base workers and pilots throughout today, during the hours that Rin was present
Jessim: Ooh, that is exciting. Have there been any other sightings in the past few months? You were away quite some time, Kagami, trying to located the elusive and rare creature known only as. . . Sesshoumaru
Kagami: Yes, I was. We found several suspicious sightings in Japan, which all turned out to be false, and one, actually, well taken photo in Canada. The photo mysteriously disappeared during a fraud examination in what the lab tech described as 'Red, White, and Giggles'
Jessim: What exactly happened?
Kagami: We have evidence, namely a piece of a red and white kimono, which caught on the edge of the table as the thief made his way out. Our fabric analysis has determined that the fabric did belong to the kimono of the rare creature, Sesshoumaru, and is currently being examined for traces of behavioral and DNA evidence. When the techs are done it will be placed in the high security museum in back of our studio, which is devoted to the rare and stoic Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshoumaru, and his small charge, Rin
Jessim: Wow. Such devotion. I've actually heard stories about your museum, which is to be opened to the general public soon. They say that in a secret room there is actually a shrine to your precious one.
Kagami: There is, it may or may not be opened to the general public at the same time as the museum, which is set for some time next spring; as it is not near finished. But it is my side job; slowly piecing together; through the well and archeology, and forensic science, the true life of Sesshoumaru-sama
Jessim: What have you come up with so far? And how has his companion survived this long, since she first appeared in the Sengoku Jidai, over 400 years ago?
Kagami: I still have agents out searching on his ancestral line; but as for Rin it seems some time just after the quest was complete, he brought her to a miko, who was supposed to make her age in demon years. However, the miko's spell went wrong, almost stopping the aging of little Rin
Jessim: Oh DEAR! Then what happened? *grabs some of Kiki's secret stash of pre-popped, non-staling popcorn*
Kagami: So, by Sesshoumaru's estimated time of death *sob*, which is... *looks at unloadable lab sheet before tossing it over her shoulder*. . . a very long time from now, Rin will only be about 70; which is good, cause it'll be almost time for her to, *ahem* pass on. And, for you to know; and I'm sure to the great joy of many fans, Jaken is expected to croak *teehee*, uh, *another unreadable lab sheet*. . . soon!
Jessim: Really!?
Kagami: I know, isn't it delightful! Thank my lab techs, they... *cough* uh, they helped, a little *cough* Anything else, Jessim?
Jessim: I don't think so, unless you have any uh. . . interesting theories for us today? Say, about what makes Inu Yasha and Sesshoumaru-sama so attractive to human females? Or why Miroku is such a perv?
Kagami: Ah, the techs finished that one last week. It has been determined that lechery does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, run in Miroku's family. As a young teen in an out-of-the-way village, he met a slutty girl who tried to... do things to him. Normally, this would have the adverse affect, turning him gay and away from females in general. But, because of head trauma early in life, he enjoyed it; therefore planting the seed of lechery in him. It almost makes you feel bad for him, almost.
Jessim: Yes, almost as the operative word
Kagami: As for Fluffy-sama and Inu-chan, their outrageous good looks seemed to have come from a. parentage b. (Inu-chan) his mum's powers c. an ancient prophecy, about the Shikon quest, which need to wonderfully good looking men to be completed. And, no, the contents of the prophecy cannot be revealed at this time
Jessim: Hmmm. . . interesting
Kagami: You have the reports from my lab techs there, anything legible?
Jessim: It says something about. . . ."pink bows clash with spiky armor?" WHA?!?
Kagami: Oh, Martin. He is the new style tech; we are still trying to teach him about Sessie's feminine side, chuck it, anything else? *whispers to random tech* Get Martin in rehab, now!!
Jessim: Umm. . . lessee. . .
Kagami: All the characters have files, they should be in a box under your desk, I think Kiki keeps them there.
Jessim: *reading* Fluffy accidentally flashed somebody? Kagami. . . where do you pick up your techs? Hey - this is YOUR handwriting!! Fluffy flashed you? And I, um, we never heard about it?!
Kagami: Shhh! I'm trying not to be attacked! I'm going to kill Kiki!! Although, it was. . . *dreamy spaced off look*
Jessim: Please, do not drool on the upholstery - get a towel or something.
Kagami: *blinks back* Hmm? Oh, yes, anything else? *glares a warning, then slips slightly again*
Jessim: Uh . . . anyway. . . let's answer some of the fan's questions!
Kagami: Okay, fire away, mail is under your desk
Jessim: Just a minute, let me see. . .AH! Here's one:
"Dear Kagami, Besa, Jessim, and Kiki,
How do you guys do it all? I mean, with all those rabid Hojos around, living dead girls, and bishies to stalk, just how are you girls able to get us our news everyday? We live and breathe your words, oh wonderful ones! But it comes down to this: how do you find enough time in the day to do it all?
Sincerely,
Yamamoto"
Kagami: *giggles* Can we get him on the phone? What good is a phone where I don't pay the bills if we don't use it?
Jessim: Let's see. . . .
Male Voice: Moshi, moshi, Yamamoto here. . . Who is this calling?
Jessim: *whispers* Be nice to him, Kagami!
Kagami: Hello! *spastically happy!* We got your fan letter!
Yamamoto: You did. . . wow! I'm talking to Kagami, aren't I? I'd know your voice anywhere!
Jessim: I think Yamamoto's got a crush on Kagami here.
Kagami: I think so too. . . Anyways, Yamamoto, have you read the Harry Potter series; book 3, specifically?
Yamamoto: Yes, I’ve read the Japanese translations of all the books so far
Kagami: Well, know the time turner Hermione has?
Yamamoto: Are you saying that you travel back in time?
Kagami: Yes, that it what I’m saying. And before you ask, yes, it does count as overtime. I sued the company to make it that way, was my own lawyer *smirks* too bad i'm supposed to be the company's lawyer. Kukuku
Yamamoto: Cool. Ano. . . I know that this isn't polite, but how old are you? Would you consider dating a 13-year-old?
Kagami: Hmm, depends, do you look like a God?
Jessim: *giggles* He DEFINITELY has a crush on you!
Kagami: *giggles* Doesn't everyone, it’s the demon thing!
Yamamoto: What type of god?
Kagami: Let me put this in a way you can understand; I am judging you against the great and powerful (and hot as hell) Lord of the Western Lands, can you beat that?
Yamamoto: I do not believe any normal mortal can stand a chance against him. *sigh*
Kagami: We demons have high standards, try Besa, she'll like you, Whatcha say, Besa?
Besa: *has apparently appeared out of nowhere* Hmmm. . . we'll see. I'll call you after the show, 'kay? Maybe we can go to that new cafe and have a chat.
Jessim: Any last words for Yamamoto, Kagami?
Kagami: (Aw, its so sweet) Umm, thanks for the fan mail, it gives me another excuse to time travel!
Jessim: Bye Yamamoto!
Besa: Bye Yama-kun! *disappears again*
Yamamoto: Uh, see you soon, I guess.
*click*
Kagami: OOOOH! More letters, that was fun! *reaches into the boxes* OOOOH! Video! *hands it to Jessim* Play it, play it!!
Jessim: This can't be good. . . SATOSHI! The LIGHTS!!
*lights dim*
Jessim: Jeez, why hasn't Kiki fired him yet. . . *grumble*
*video start*
*teenage boy with light brown hair appears on screen with evil glint in his eye*
Voice Over: Have you seen this boy? His name is Hojo. And he has been the butt of many a joke on the Inu Information Network. We would like to ask you to not watch this show, because it is degrading for this rare species of B.S.I., or Boy Stupidity Infection, victim.
*scene of Hojo biking to school*
VO: We would like to raise awareness of this growing problem. If you wish to donate to our cause, please call 1.800.help.a.hojo. And please, do not get your laughs from the Inu Information Network, who pokes fun at such a defenseless creature.
Jessim: THAT is disturbing. I want to burn it.
Kagami: *lights a fire in the middle of the studio, to the horror of the security guards* By all means. . .
Jessim: Thank you. *smiles, rips tape from the cassette, throws whole thing in fire* And when is Hojo so defenseless? *shudder*
-End Episode 3-Fluffy Report and Fan Mail-
Your Daily News
Your Hosts are:
Kiki, Besa, Kagami, and Jessim
-Start Episode 3-Fluffy Report and Fan Mail-
Jessim: This is Jessim at the news desk, filling in for Kiki and Besa, who're on a *cough cough* special assignment today. Have we had any Fluffy sightings recently, Kagami?
Kagami: We have recently had one sighting Jessim, a quick and half of one, but a sighting. I'm here at the Shikon Air Force Base somewhere deep in Nevada; location not to be given (Damn superiors), and it was earlier at this air base that a small child, playing with a girl she refers to as Rinny, saw a flash of white and her friend was gone. We can assume this friend to be Rin, who is under the guardianship of Sesshoumaru, therefore he was the flash of white spotted by several base workers and pilots throughout today, during the hours that Rin was present
Jessim: Ooh, that is exciting. Have there been any other sightings in the past few months? You were away quite some time, Kagami, trying to located the elusive and rare creature known only as. . . Sesshoumaru
Kagami: Yes, I was. We found several suspicious sightings in Japan, which all turned out to be false, and one, actually, well taken photo in Canada. The photo mysteriously disappeared during a fraud examination in what the lab tech described as 'Red, White, and Giggles'
Jessim: What exactly happened?
Kagami: We have evidence, namely a piece of a red and white kimono, which caught on the edge of the table as the thief made his way out. Our fabric analysis has determined that the fabric did belong to the kimono of the rare creature, Sesshoumaru, and is currently being examined for traces of behavioral and DNA evidence. When the techs are done it will be placed in the high security museum in back of our studio, which is devoted to the rare and stoic Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshoumaru, and his small charge, Rin
Jessim: Wow. Such devotion. I've actually heard stories about your museum, which is to be opened to the general public soon. They say that in a secret room there is actually a shrine to your precious one.
Kagami: There is, it may or may not be opened to the general public at the same time as the museum, which is set for some time next spring; as it is not near finished. But it is my side job; slowly piecing together; through the well and archeology, and forensic science, the true life of Sesshoumaru-sama
Jessim: What have you come up with so far? And how has his companion survived this long, since she first appeared in the Sengoku Jidai, over 400 years ago?
Kagami: I still have agents out searching on his ancestral line; but as for Rin it seems some time just after the quest was complete, he brought her to a miko, who was supposed to make her age in demon years. However, the miko's spell went wrong, almost stopping the aging of little Rin
Jessim: Oh DEAR! Then what happened? *grabs some of Kiki's secret stash of pre-popped, non-staling popcorn*
Kagami: So, by Sesshoumaru's estimated time of death *sob*, which is... *looks at unloadable lab sheet before tossing it over her shoulder*. . . a very long time from now, Rin will only be about 70; which is good, cause it'll be almost time for her to, *ahem* pass on. And, for you to know; and I'm sure to the great joy of many fans, Jaken is expected to croak *teehee*, uh, *another unreadable lab sheet*. . . soon!
Jessim: Really!?
Kagami: I know, isn't it delightful! Thank my lab techs, they... *cough* uh, they helped, a little *cough* Anything else, Jessim?
Jessim: I don't think so, unless you have any uh. . . interesting theories for us today? Say, about what makes Inu Yasha and Sesshoumaru-sama so attractive to human females? Or why Miroku is such a perv?
Kagami: Ah, the techs finished that one last week. It has been determined that lechery does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, run in Miroku's family. As a young teen in an out-of-the-way village, he met a slutty girl who tried to... do things to him. Normally, this would have the adverse affect, turning him gay and away from females in general. But, because of head trauma early in life, he enjoyed it; therefore planting the seed of lechery in him. It almost makes you feel bad for him, almost.
Jessim: Yes, almost as the operative word
Kagami: As for Fluffy-sama and Inu-chan, their outrageous good looks seemed to have come from a. parentage b. (Inu-chan) his mum's powers c. an ancient prophecy, about the Shikon quest, which need to wonderfully good looking men to be completed. And, no, the contents of the prophecy cannot be revealed at this time
Jessim: Hmmm. . . interesting
Kagami: You have the reports from my lab techs there, anything legible?
Jessim: It says something about. . . ."pink bows clash with spiky armor?" WHA?!?
Kagami: Oh, Martin. He is the new style tech; we are still trying to teach him about Sessie's feminine side, chuck it, anything else? *whispers to random tech* Get Martin in rehab, now!!
Jessim: Umm. . . lessee. . .
Kagami: All the characters have files, they should be in a box under your desk, I think Kiki keeps them there.
Jessim: *reading* Fluffy accidentally flashed somebody? Kagami. . . where do you pick up your techs? Hey - this is YOUR handwriting!! Fluffy flashed you? And I, um, we never heard about it?!
Kagami: Shhh! I'm trying not to be attacked! I'm going to kill Kiki!! Although, it was. . . *dreamy spaced off look*
Jessim: Please, do not drool on the upholstery - get a towel or something.
Kagami: *blinks back* Hmm? Oh, yes, anything else? *glares a warning, then slips slightly again*
Jessim: Uh . . . anyway. . . let's answer some of the fan's questions!
Kagami: Okay, fire away, mail is under your desk
Jessim: Just a minute, let me see. . .AH! Here's one:
"Dear Kagami, Besa, Jessim, and Kiki,
How do you guys do it all? I mean, with all those rabid Hojos around, living dead girls, and bishies to stalk, just how are you girls able to get us our news everyday? We live and breathe your words, oh wonderful ones! But it comes down to this: how do you find enough time in the day to do it all?
Sincerely,
Yamamoto"
Kagami: *giggles* Can we get him on the phone? What good is a phone where I don't pay the bills if we don't use it?
Jessim: Let's see. . . .
Male Voice: Moshi, moshi, Yamamoto here. . . Who is this calling?
Jessim: *whispers* Be nice to him, Kagami!
Kagami: Hello! *spastically happy!* We got your fan letter!
Yamamoto: You did. . . wow! I'm talking to Kagami, aren't I? I'd know your voice anywhere!
Jessim: I think Yamamoto's got a crush on Kagami here.
Kagami: I think so too. . . Anyways, Yamamoto, have you read the Harry Potter series; book 3, specifically?
Yamamoto: Yes, I’ve read the Japanese translations of all the books so far
Kagami: Well, know the time turner Hermione has?
Yamamoto: Are you saying that you travel back in time?
Kagami: Yes, that it what I’m saying. And before you ask, yes, it does count as overtime. I sued the company to make it that way, was my own lawyer *smirks* too bad i'm supposed to be the company's lawyer. Kukuku
Yamamoto: Cool. Ano. . . I know that this isn't polite, but how old are you? Would you consider dating a 13-year-old?
Kagami: Hmm, depends, do you look like a God?
Jessim: *giggles* He DEFINITELY has a crush on you!
Kagami: *giggles* Doesn't everyone, it’s the demon thing!
Yamamoto: What type of god?
Kagami: Let me put this in a way you can understand; I am judging you against the great and powerful (and hot as hell) Lord of the Western Lands, can you beat that?
Yamamoto: I do not believe any normal mortal can stand a chance against him. *sigh*
Kagami: We demons have high standards, try Besa, she'll like you, Whatcha say, Besa?
Besa: *has apparently appeared out of nowhere* Hmmm. . . we'll see. I'll call you after the show, 'kay? Maybe we can go to that new cafe and have a chat.
Jessim: Any last words for Yamamoto, Kagami?
Kagami: (Aw, its so sweet) Umm, thanks for the fan mail, it gives me another excuse to time travel!
Jessim: Bye Yamamoto!
Besa: Bye Yama-kun! *disappears again*
Yamamoto: Uh, see you soon, I guess.
*click*
Kagami: OOOOH! More letters, that was fun! *reaches into the boxes* OOOOH! Video! *hands it to Jessim* Play it, play it!!
Jessim: This can't be good. . . SATOSHI! The LIGHTS!!
*lights dim*
Jessim: Jeez, why hasn't Kiki fired him yet. . . *grumble*
*video start*
*teenage boy with light brown hair appears on screen with evil glint in his eye*
Voice Over: Have you seen this boy? His name is Hojo. And he has been the butt of many a joke on the Inu Information Network. We would like to ask you to not watch this show, because it is degrading for this rare species of B.S.I., or Boy Stupidity Infection, victim.
*scene of Hojo biking to school*
VO: We would like to raise awareness of this growing problem. If you wish to donate to our cause, please call 1.800.help.a.hojo. And please, do not get your laughs from the Inu Information Network, who pokes fun at such a defenseless creature.
Jessim: THAT is disturbing. I want to burn it.
Kagami: *lights a fire in the middle of the studio, to the horror of the security guards* By all means. . .
Jessim: Thank you. *smiles, rips tape from the cassette, throws whole thing in fire* And when is Hojo so defenseless? *shudder*
-End Episode 3-Fluffy Report and Fan Mail-