InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Lolicon Collection ❯ Allowances ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter 11: Allowances

Title: Allowances
Author: Plumespixie
Rating: Adult ++
Characters: Sess/Rin
Genre: Angsty? Romance
Words: 887
Warnings: LOLICON
Summary: Sess struggles with self-loathing because of his sexual relationship with Child!Rin.
A/N: Under the wire so not my best - but I wanted to post.

I know that she should have no power to excite me.

I know that what we're doing is taboo, shameful even.

Her small body and slight weight hover over me, her tiny core and wet heat press against my aching member, pressing it into my own rippled abdominal muscles. She tugs my foreskin over the ridge of my head and I can feel not only my own throb but tiny pulse of her own miniscule pleasure bud, so engorged by her own desire that it peaks out from her plump hairless folds.

Her moans and grunts and groans and sighs escape tiny lips, a small smooth pink tongue wets those same lips and I watch with reluctant fascination as her eyebrows knit together and a frown of concentration mars her small expressive features.

Of their own accord my hands come up and grip her small hips - so large against her that my thumbs touch and I am able to cup her tiny rounded bottom with the pads of my fingers. I urge her on… this small girl who holds my interest, despite my attempts to be bored with her.

I fail more often than I ever have before, now that Rin has come into my world. It is undeniable that she weakens me - or at least - she weakens the barriers I have set between others and myself. She weakens my resolve to be cold, hard, and distant. She weakens the barriers around the heart I didn't even know that I had, until her.

These things she does, are uncomfortable. She forces me to feel the things I had vowed never to allow myself to feel. I hate how I am unable to stop the tidal wave of emotion that comes over me, whenever the situation involves her.

Be it love or fear, panic or anger, protectiveness or possessiveness, lust or need, desire or want… I hate that I am unable to over come it.

Still, if there is fault it lies not with Rin; all blame to be assigned falls squarely on the shoulders of this young Lord; and there are faults aplenty…

I fail to leave her, I fail to stay at her side. I fail to ignore her, I fail to give her the proper attention. I fail to hate her, I fail to express my love for her in a way that is appropriate for one of her age and maturity. Most grating of all - I fail to protect her.

Satisfaction curves my lips into a small smile as the girl grinds her hips insistently, before shivering, shuttering and whining. Her core contacts and I can feel it shivering against my shaft.

Revulsion curves my lips downward as my own climax follows hers.

The spray of my seed on my abdominals brands me the sick pedophile that I am, and my scorching seed burns not my skin but my very soul.

I can not hide my look of disgust with myself, as my hand comes down to wipe the seed away - but before I can wipe it on the grass, my wrist is captured by two small hands with chubby fingers.

A tiny rough tongue peaks out and Rin licks my hand clean. Each of fingers is taken into the small wet cavern of her mouth and I shiver involuntarily - realizing that practice now allows her to swallow my finger entirely. Her small throat contacts slightly around my longest finger, but Rin has no gag reflex left…

I am a monster. A hentai that puts the monk to shame.

When she releases my hand, now clean, her wide smile and bright eyes only breifly twists the knife of self-chastisement and the disgust with myself and my actions ebbs and flows, crests and recedes… leaving me more peaceful and content for a moment.

My little girl is happy.

“Rin loves you Sesshomaru-sama.” She chirps.

I incline my head in response - acknowledgement only - not reciprocation.

If I admit aloud the truth the sickens me, burns me, shames me and fills me with self-hate I am afraid that I will come to hate the only thing I have ever deigned to love.

I push aside any feelings of resentment and turn on my side as Rin climbs off of me and tugs my fur to cover her, laying with her back to me. I force myself not to pull my fur away, and allow her to `cuddle' - no matter how I wish I could command her away now that we are both satisfied.

That would hurt her, and then I would have to deal with tears… and then I would have deal with not only the unpleasant scent of salt - but my own guilt.

I will not punish the girl for my own failings. It is not this child's fault that she elicits more than fatherly feelings and enflames my passions. It is not her fault that I entice and seduce her on such a continual basis. It is not her fault that she has felled a great warrior, and brings me such disgrace and self-loathing.

She allows me to touch her in ways that I should not, relishing in any attention I bestow, and as payment I will allow her to `cuddle'.

I may hate that I love Rin, but I do not hate her.