InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ This Is Your Life ❯ Miko ( Chapter 5 )

Part Four: Miko

*Note: This is pre-resurrection Kikyo. I can't write anything about the undead Kikyo without wanting to kill the bitch…anyway, these are Kikyo's thoughts and reasons why Inu Yasha should use the Shikon no Tama to become human mostly.*

Normal.

That's all that I've ever wanted.

It's something I'll never have though. I am a shine maiden, a miko. My life is devoted to being that. It's my born calling.

So why do I feel so incomplete?

Maybe it's because of my duty. I have been entrusted to guard and purify the Shikon no Tama.

Well, I can never say that my life was dull. Demons from all over the land have come to my village trying to steal the sacred jewel. They'll never get it though. I'll keep slaying all the demons as long as they try to take it.

Well maybe not all….

For the last few months a hanyou has been trying to steal the jewel and for some reason I cannot kill him.

Maybe it's because I know he's half human.

Maybe it's because I feel somewhat sorry for him.

Maybe it's because I think I'm in love with him.

He asked me one day why I never just finished him. I had no real answer for him, and told him to stop coming around because I was tired of wasting arrows.

He didn't. He's that stubborn.

Weeks after that I finally gave up shooting at him, we both knew he wasn't going to get the jewel from me, and I invited him to sit with me while I ate my lunch by the river bank.

He came out of the tree he was perched in, and sat next to me. It was clear that he didn't trust me; I wasn't sure what I was doing at the time. I asked him how he saw me.

He said I was stupid. His honesty made me almost want to cry. For the first time in a very long time I felt like a normal woman and not a priestess.

A normal woman.

Normal.

I don't understand why I'm drawn to him the way I am. Maybe it's because when I look into those golden eyes of his I see the same sadness and loneliness in his soul that I feel in mine.

He's never spoken of his family to me. But I'm sure I can guess why he wants the Tama. He's a hanyou; to have the Shikon no Tama would give him the power to eradicate the human blood in him and he would be a full demon.

No more prejudice from other demons and humans.

No more loneliness.

I wish there could be some way for me to fix my problems like that…

Wait…

Hanyou….

Half demon, half human….

What if Inu Yasha used the jewel to become human rather than demon? It would be purified and destroyed because it wasn't used for evil intentions, and we'd both be free to live the lives we want.

Maybe even live together as husband and wife.

As much as I care for him as he is now, I cannot help but doubt him a little. I suppose you could call it fear. I fear the creature he could become.

Demons are not predictable, and hanyous are sometimes worse because of youkai instincts mixing with human emotions.

So I have complete faith and trust in the human half of Inu Yasha, but the demon in him scares me.

I'll never tell him that though. I'll never tell him that the thing I fear the most is the fact that he could turn on me at any moment.

My head tells me that as a priestess I should have killed him the first time I saw him.

My heart tells me that as a woman I should give myself the opportunity to experience love.

There in lies my dilemma.

But I think I've come up with a solution; Inu Yasha will use the jewel. He'll become human and we can both live our lives together.

A normal life together. No more being alone all the time, no more having to pretend to be things that we aren't.

Just us, together, happy.

That's all I've ever wanted, and I know Inu Yasha has only been looking for a way to be accepted.

This is his chance. He'll never again be looked down upon because of what he is.

Normal.

Totally and completely normal is what our lives will be. And if he does this for me, for us then I'll never have anymore reason to doubt him and his intentions. I'll finally be able to love him with my whole heart.

I'll no longer have to be a miko.

I'll just be a woman.

Normal.

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Author's notes:

This chapter was written while I was watching the episode with the illusionary forest. Throughout the whole episode I got to wondering what were Kikyo's intentions with Inu Yasha way back when. I figured that they had to be pure on some level, but really asking someone to change who they are? Selfish to the core when you think about it. I've also decided that this whole story will be 12 chapters long. I've got them semi-outlined, so if anyone sent any suggestion, tragically I won't be taking them after all.

Next time: Part Five: Enemy: wonder who's gonna be showing up here?

Read and review, ja ne!

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