InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Uke ❯ What a Youkai Thinks ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A/N And I give you, Sesshoumaru.
WARNING- This chapter MAY contain: angst, fluff, foul language, Male/Male, anal sex, oral sex, non-consensual sexual acts, spanking, incest, or violence.
Chapter 4 - What a Youkai Thinks
Sesshoumaru watched Rin playing in the field of flowers, his face as still and cold as the surface of a pond in winter. Jaken looked at him, admiring his calm, noble visage.
Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, tried to maintain his outward calm while he thought about what he'd done. The rest of his life could, he felt, now qualify as a complete and utter ruin.
Why in all the hells did I mark that misbegotten whelp, he wondered, and answered himself in the same heartbeat.
Because, as usual, even seeing him was enough to set off my temper.
He blinked slowly, sighing in annoyance so softly that not even Ah-Un's sensitive ears caught him at it. It wasn't as though he'd lost anything by the gesture, he mused, wishing he could keep his mind from dwelling on his new mate. After all, he hadn't been lying to the half-breed about most of it; he didn't want heirs and he certainly didn't have any desire to form some connection with a fawning female bitch.
However, he really had no plans to track Inuyasha down and torment him. Not once his temper had ebbed, that is. Normally he tried to think of the idiot as little as possible, especially now that he had given up on the Tessaiga as a bad idea all around. He wasn't entirely successful, but it was only when his rage got the best of him that he wanted to shake the little moron until his head rattled. Inuyasha had the bizarre ability to make him feel so crazed that he could scream in sheer frustration.
As that wasn't exactly dignified, he usually settled for verbally and physically cutting him down to size. It didn't help alleviate his anger, but sometimes it improved his mood for a short while.
Until the next time he came into contact with his brother.
He didn't know why it always happened. Without fail, seeing or even hearing about that rude, loud-mouthed pipsqueak put him instantly on edge. Thinking of those ridiculous puppy ears and that clumsy, graceless little body made his blood hot and furious. And that wasn't even taking into account how his mind seethed when he was forced to listen to the puppy's insults. Inuyasha was such a completely irritating, mannerless grub, Sesshoumaru couldn't understand how they could have come from the same father. It was inconceivable that such an unrestrained, undisciplined personality could be in any way related to himself.
So why had he thought chaining himself to the bane of his existence was a good idea? It was stunning to realize that his own anger had made him act so outrageously, so…stupidly. This had all the makings of a total disaster, even more of a fiasco than the time he'd tried to find out where Tessaiga was hidden. That memory could still make his face twitch uncomfortably. Using the unmother to awaken Inuyasha's guilt and sorrow, to absorb him…Jaken must have fed him something truly mind altering that day.
Not his proudest moment. Nothing about his behavior with his brother was worthy of pride, honestly. Maybe that was one of the reasons the twit bothered him so much; every memory of Inuyasha started with Sesshoumaru losing his temper and ended with defeat, humiliation, pain, or fury. That was especially true when that irritating human girl of Inuyasha's was involved. Sesshoumaru grit his teeth at the thought of her. Disgusting twit. Why the whelp hovered over her so protectively, he had no idea, but seeing them close together, touching each other, was even more infuriating than finding the hanyou alone.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Inuyasha should be alone, as he'd been before that bitch sealed him to a tree. It was better when he wasn't around other humans and youkai. It was much less… distracting… that way, Sesshoumaru could find Inuyasha and observe him at his leisure without interference. The difficulty in keeping track of what new way Inuyasha had found to dishonor their father's blood had grown with every new addition to his brother's small group. It was almost impossible to get near him undetected at this point.
He sighed silently again. The situation wasn't likely to improve for quite a few decades. Inuyasha's worthless ningen and obviously delusional youkai looked as though they weren't planning on abandoning him, as incomprehensible as that was. Inuyasha wasn't going to be alone until the annoying little insects were killed off or passed away. But as tempting as it was to speed up their inevitable return to the earth, Sesshoumaru had resisted the urge.
He wouldn't give Inuyasha the satisfaction of knowing the vermin irritated him to that extent. Besides, the humans would die in the blink of an eye, compared to the span of his life. The youkai would disperse as they became independent, and Inuyasha would be alone again, as he should be. It wasn't natural to have some female hanging off of him at all hours of the day, to have others sleeping next to him, close enough to touch him if they wished.
It was aggravating, not to mention bewildering. Why would they want to be with Inuyasha? He treated them abominably: rude, rough, crass - were they that desperate for protection? The thought only made them even more worthless in his eyes.
He stared away from the camp, ignoring the sounds of Rin tormenting Jaken as he once again searched his own mind, examining his reaction to his brother. It was obvious that Inuyasha was unworthy of anything but disgust, but why could he not control it? Why would one look at the pest have his ire rising instantly? It made no sense. He truly wished he could discover the reason, because then he might have a chance of finding a solution. He could finally ignore his brother and show the little cretin just how little he meant to Sesshoumaru. He would be free of this last, inexplicable, uncontrollable rage. He'd never have to think of the silver-haired brat again.
Except that was no longer possible, now that he'd behaved like an enraged imbecile and marked Inuyasha.
What a completely ridiculous, idiotic thing to do: the perfect ending to what had begun as a disaster of a day.
It had been bad enough to find out that he was obliged to actually find a mate for Inuyasha. The very idea still made him want to snarl. Inuyasha, mated to some youkai male? The entire prospect was unthinkable. In fact, the thought of some youkai using the silver haired boy, finding pleasure in his body, making him cry out as he was taken, infuriated him.
Obviously, his mind was properly disgusted by the idea of a youkai mated to a hanyou.
Of course, when he'd finally tracked down his brother only to find him about to be caught and taken by none other than that bastard Naraku, his day had grown even worse. What was wrong with Inuyasha, letting Naraku get that close to marking him? Was he brain damaged? How dare he be that phenomenally incompetent?
And then, after Sesshoumaru went through the trouble of controlling his perfectly justified anger, to have his generous offer to find a mate thrown back in his face? As usual, Inuyasha had made him see red. His vision had been an entire rainbow of color and before he knew it he was batting Inuyasha around, marking him, and spouting every cruel, derogatory, threatening filth he could think of as he released his temper at the little sprat.
He despised losing control like that. It was not at all the image of graceful, deadly Daiyoukai that he struggled so hard to maintain. The same image that always devolved into passionate rage whenever Inuyasha was within ten feet of him. Why the hell couldn't that bubble headed little brat just cease talking for five minutes when they met? If Sesshoumaru could only manage a few moments of silence when Inuyasha was within sight, maybe he would have a chance to figure out the answer to his questions. Like why no one else affected his temper this way. Ever. Not even Naraku made him as crazy as just a few insults from Inuyasha did, so what was it about the hanyou that infuriated him so much?
He closed his eyes as he felt a small yank on his mind. Inuyasha was in pain again. His body was exhausted, ill, and in considerable pain. What the hell had he been doing since Sesshoumaru had left, that he was in pain all the time? Hadn't Sesshoumaru followed him until he'd found a small den to crawl into and hide? Hadn't he even stayed to scare off the couple of larger youkai who had considered making Sesshoumaru's mate into a midnight snack?
Not their best decision.
And yet, Inuyasha still seemed to be in pain. What had he done to hurt himself so badly that he hadn't healed in over a week? Sesshoumaru supposed he shouldn't be surprised something had managed to hurt him so seriously, with how clumsy and wild Inuyasha's fighting style was. He was, though. Inuyasha was usually barely fazed by whatever was thrown at him, like an irritating little bug.
He felt the small yank again and grunted inaudibly. What was wrong with Inuyasha?
“Jaken, Rin, stay here,” he said, turning as he felt his anger start to rise. Doltish idiot, letting himself become so injured he wouldn't heal. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. He was going to have to take time out from his life to go and deal with this. Already, this bond was chafing. He snarled. Inuyasha had better be on his best behavior when he got there, or there was going to be hell to pay.
“Here, Inuyasha, Mama made you something special,” Kagome said, handing him a decorative box, small compartments filled with attractive, fantastic smelling food.
Inuyasha growled under his breath. “No,” he said shortly.
He wished she would just leave him the hell alone. Ever since he'd managed to live through that hellacious new moon and dragged his sorry ass out of the forest to find the group hunting for him, they'd treated him like he was made of spun glass. They were sweet voiced, even when he threw snarls and insults. They gave him the best food, the best seat, and the best place to sleep. When he'd finally lost it after a couple days and started screaming at them to tell him what the hell was wrong with them, Miroku had finally let him know everything that little weasel Myouga had told them.
A little too fucking late to do any good, he thought, although it did explain what all the stupid youkai had been doing, chasing him around all over the place. It was, however, utterly humiliating that they knew what he'd turned into: a fucking submissive, uke bitch. It had taken him at least a full day before he could even look them in the eye. At least they didn't talk about it outright. As long as that continued, he could pretend everything was how it used to be.
If he could figure out how to make them stop fucking guarding him, anyway. He'd finally realized that they were trying to keep other youkai away when Kagome let it slip. She'd been at her earnest best, telling him that she understood they couldn't be together, but that she'd help make sure no one forced him into a relationship he didn't want.
He didn't have the heart to tell her it was too late.
It wasn't as though the mark showed. It was completely covered if he kept his suikan closed, and he was making damn sure it WAS closed. He didn't need their pity. Actually, he might not need anything at all if the mark didn't start healing soon. He suspected that some of Sesshoumaru's poison had seeped in. It couldn't have been more than a freckle's worth or he would have died before he'd become hanyou again, but the wound was hot and red, small crimson lines creeping from it over his shoulder and down his back. A normal wound didn't do that shit. Hell, the damn thing burned constantly. He felt feverish and achy all the time at this point, grouchy as hell, and absolutely determined not to let his friends know what had happened. It wasn't as though they could do anything about it.
Crap, he'd already gone to Kaede to try and heal it with no affect. She hadn't said anything about the mark, keeping her own counsel at the group's ignorance of his problem, but he had a feeling she might start talking to Kagome about some of her future medicine if his body didn't start recovering soon. He really didn't want to deal with that. He didn't want them to know that Lord I'm-so-perfect-my-shit-don't-stink Sesshoumaru had held him as easily as a little pup and claimed him.
Fucking bastard. It was so damn unfair. Why the hell did that asshole hate him so much? He'd never done one fucking thing to him unless he was attacked first. Not once. And yet the asshole hated him so much that he'd claimed him, joined them together until one or the other of them damn well DIED, just so he could have another way to fuck him over.
What had he ever done to make the jerk hate him THAT much?
He sighed, feeling the small twinge in his head that signaled another mood change. Out of all the weird shit that had happened, the fact that he could feel what the Daiyoukai was feeling had to be one of the weirdest. Especially as it turned out the icy ass was actually as moody as hell. Fuck, if Sesshoumaru stayed calm for more than 5 minutes at a time, Inuyasha would eat his damn scabbard. And at the moment, it seemed that Sesshoumaru was supremely pissed.
And…worried? Huh. Maybe something had happened to that little ningen that hung around him all the time. Probably. In which case, whatever had pissed him off so badly by hurting Rin had better watch out, `cause he was likely gonna die. That level of rage didn't seem like it could end in anything other than major pain and dismemberment.
He looked over at Kagome, who had ignored his refusal and put the food in front of him anyway. He picked at it, trying not to be too obvious that he wasn't using his left arm, and ate a small bite. He really wasn't that hungry. All he wanted to do was go find somewhere to lie down and sleep until he didn't feel so shitty. But if he did that, then everyone would know something was wrong, and that just wasn't going to happen. Showing weakness was not an option. Especially not with them already starting to view him as somehow weaker and in need of help because of the stupid uke thing.
He sighed again, watching as Shippou ran around like a rampaging imp. His lip quirked before he could stop it as he saw the little brat sneak a sweet out of Kagome's bag while he had a copy distract her on the opposite side of the camp. Had to admire that kind of guile…long as it wasn't aimed at Inuyasha. Miroku managed to get a handful of Sango's ass before getting his typical reward, and Inuyasha closed his eyes as he thought about the one thing missing. He wouldn't ever have admitted it, but he was rather used to Kagome reining in his mouth when it got the best of him. He'd never been able to figure out when he pushed just that little bit too far, and having Kagome `sit' him for over two years now had become so common place that he had started to see it as a second conscience of sorts. It pissed him off, and it hurt, but it was something between them that no one else had. It was theirs.
Since he got back from the woods, however, she hadn't 'sit' him. Not once, no matter how rude or obnoxious he got. It felt like some part of his bond with her had been damaged, and he couldn't help but miss it, as stupid as that made him feel.
He had to be losing his mind; that was the only explanation. He picked up another small piece of food, flicking it into his mouth and suddenly choking at the same time Miroku and Sango straightened up.
“Inuyasha, do you smell anything?” Miroku asked, getting to his feet. “There's a very strong demonic aura coming nearer.”
Inuyasha didn't answer. The color had leached out of his face and he was breathing so quickly that he thought he might pass out.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
“Inuyasha? What's the matter?” Kagome asked, looking at his terrified face.
“It's Sesshoumaru,” he whispered. The others nodded.
“What in the world could he want?” Kagome asked, readying her arrows. Inuyasha could tell that she was confused at his reaction. Usually he started cursing a blue streak once he knew the bastard was nearby, but now….
He could actually feel how pissed the asshole was, and if he was heading this way, it had to mean he was pissed at Inuyasha. He must be coming to make good on his threat. What the hell was he planning to do? Was he coming to beat the shit out him? Inuyasha could usually hold his own with the jackass, but even with his injury screwing that up, he could deal with it. Pain was something he was fucking used to. But what if he was planning something more?
Was he planning to rape him?
Or were things even worse than that? Myouga hadn't ever come back to tell him more about the whole mating thing. He'd never known he'd be able to feel his mate's emotions, what else didn't he know? Hell, he was the fucking uke... Did that mean the daiyoukai might be able to…to force him to follow his orders? Did he have the ability to subjugate him, like Kagome's beads? Or were there other abilities given by their bond?
Inuyasha had no fucking clue, and suddenly a whole host of horrible, painful, humiliating possibilities ran through his head. He needed to leave, now, until he could find out just what the hell that asshole might be able to do to him.
“I have to go,” he blurted, turning abruptly to escape the camp. Sesshoumaru should follow him and leave the others alone, so they shouldn't be in any danger. Having them hurt on his behalf would be more than he could bear. He might not be able to fight and protect them when he was like this, but he could draw Sesshoumaru away and do it.
And he needed to find fucking Myouga to figure this out!
“But Inuyasha…” Kagome started to say, just as Shippou ran over to him, scrambling up his body.
“You can't leave!” Shippou cried as he kept climbing. He pulled himself up onto Inuyasha's left shoulder, clutching there firmly, and Inuyasha yelled out, falling to his knees at the pain.
“Get off!!” He shoved the kitsune off his body, panting heavily as he forced himself back to his feet. “I have to go! Now!” His whole body tingled as everyone in front of him was suddenly looking at him in horror. What were they…
“Hanyou, what have you done to yourself this time?” Sesshoumaru said from behind his back, and Inuyasha turned slowly to look up into his brother's furious, crimson eyes.