InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Uke ❯ It's Not Enough ( Chapter 23 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A/N - Thank you for the reviews, much appreciated. Uh, yeah…angst, like I said. But…I really, really, REALLY like happy endings, even if the angst is gong on for a while. :-D
WARNING- This chapter MAY contain: angst, fluff, foul language, Male/Male, anal sex, oral sex, non-consensual sexual acts, spanking, incest, or violence.This chapter will contain foul language.
Chapter 23 - It's Not Enough
Sesshoumaru held Tenseiga with an arm that quivered with fatigue. He wanted to use his father's sword so badly he could taste the bitterness of it on his tongue. Raising it over the putrid pool of acid, all that was left of Naraku, he snarled viciously. Tenseiga wouldn't let him bring Naraku back. His rebellious, useless sword wasn't working on the melted slag of a body, so he couldn't bring Naraku back and watch him scream in agony again. He wanted to kill him again. One time wasn't enough. He wanted to bring him back and kill him over and over again until the bastard went so insane that he could do nothing but scream. And it still wouldn't be enough.
He slammed Tenseiga back into its sheathe and looked around him. The monk was no longer on the ground where he'd fallen. He might live, if the taijiya had found him help soon enough. The fire cat was gone as well, so she'd likely helped transport his unconscious body. The wolf was only now starting to push himself up from the ground, woozy and vomiting. Sesshoumaru didn't even bother wondering about him. He was youkai. He'd be fine; not that Sesshoumaru really cared, but Naraku triumphing in any way right now would have infuriated him more than he already was. He wanted Naraku and everything he'd ever done swallowed by a pit so dark that not even the memory of him survived.
Especially the memory of him that he'd see next in Inuyasha's eyes.
It hadn't taken long after he'd left Inuyasha to find the battle. Although by the time Sesshoumaru had caught up to Naraku, the others had been desperately trying to stave off hundreds of demons the bastard had summoned to his aid. That had probably been Naraku's plan all along; he had to have known that someone would detect his presence and come looking, after all. He would have needed help to flee. But just as Sesshoumaru drew closer, and Naraku was close to escaping, the monk had bared his teeth like some feral animal and yelled at everyone to hold onto something.
The broken and bare limbs of the trees surrounding them were testimony to how long the man had held open his wind tunnel, sucking in the majority of the lesser demons, along with some of Naraku's poison saimyosho. He had collapsed almost immediately, stinking of poison, and the slayer spent quite some time by his side, keeping him safe from Naraku or any of the few demons who had managed to keep clear of the kazaana.
The wolf prince had tried to make use of his speed, but his body was pitifully inadequate when it came to dealing with poison. He had done well enough to keep Naraku occupied before the daiyoukai had arrived-- Sesshoumaru could admit it-- but in the end he was overcome by the miasma just as Sesshoumaru slashed through the remnants of lesser demons in his path. The nekomata had been the surprise. She had clawed and torn at Naraku as Sesshoumaru fought him, risking the abomination's poisonous miasma and impalement by his limbs over and over again. Twice while Sesshoumaru battled Naraku she had even helped to block his escape before finally succumbing to Naraku's poison and falling from the sky with a dull thump.
And then it had just been Naraku and Sesshoumaru, and the fight had not done nearly enough to assuage Sesshoumaru's need for blood. Sesshoumaru hadn't even drawn his sword for the first four hours. He'd wanted to kill Naraku by inches. He'd wanted to be able to hear him scream. And Naraku had, by the end.
Pieces of Naraku's flesh were sliced off in paper thin strips by Sesshoumaru's claws as fast as he could slash with his arm. Faster than the bastard could dodge. At first it was just blood soaked pieces of skin, then small bits of muscle and sinew, and finally splinters of bone, the particles dissolving from Sesshoumaru's poison before they hit the ground. After the cat fell, Sesshoumaru made sure to work on Naraku's supporting limbs, cutting deeper as the bastard regenerated until Naraku began to run out of his own substance to draw from.
Six hours into the fight, Sesshoumaru had been using Toukijin continually, brilliant colors lighting the woods around him as he attacked Naraku, refusing to give him the space to breath, even for a moment. Naraku had become desperate enough at that point that he'd tried to use his poison against Sesshoumaru, and it gave Sesshoumaru a spike of bitter satisfaction to verbally stab back at him.
“Pathetic,” he snarled, landing another blow against Naraku as he ignored the useless attempt to destroy his own body. “Inuyasha is worth ten times…”
“Inuyasha is a little bitch, and he'll hate you for the rest of his life,” Naraku snarled back. “You think he'll ever want to see you now? Hear your voice?” Naraku panted as he dodged, weakened and clumsy. “You think he'll ever let you touch him now without shuddering in disgust?”
Sesshoumaru shoved down the agony of the thought that had already started to torment him and continued attacking, the air vibrating with subsonic sound as Toukijin was swung faster than even Naraku could track “Nothing you've done to him will survive the passage of time. All this will be for nothing!” Sesshoumaru ground out.
Naraku grinned despite the pain, one arm gone and unable to regenerate, his other limbs cut down to the bone and beyond, “No matter what you do, he's mine. Every time you touch your mate, he'll be thinking of me, Sesshoumaru.”
Sesshoumaru's anger and hate bubbled up and he used the energy it created to leap the distance between them, knocking Naraku through an older tree and onto the ground behind it.
“Inuyasha will never think of you again, you worthless, scabrous bastard.” Sesshoumaru stabbed through Naraku's middle as he hissed at him, pinning him to the ground. Naraku screamed, writhing. As Naraku's flesh groped upwards in desperation, Sesshoumaru plunged his hand through Naraku's stomach and forced himself to release poison faster and more powerfully than he ever had. Naraku's eyes finally reflected something other than hate and smug superiority as he felt himself start to dissolve from the inside out, his body's regeneration failing him completely as the poison reached his heart. Naraku screamed again, grabbing at Toukijin to try and pry it from his chest only to have his remaining arm dissolve at the joint and hang limply as Sesshoumaru's poison ate along its length until even the fingers were mere drippings off of Sesshoumaru's sword.
Sesshoumaru stared into the disbelieving, desperate red eyes until even they melted away. He kept his hand embedded until all that was left was a pool of acid bubbling on the ground, still dissolving the earth underneath, and a partially complete pink sphere. Flicking the jewel out of the acid, Sesshoumaru stood up and stepped back, snarling at Naraku's remains.
“Die, you fucking bastard.”
He stared at the acid filled depression, writhing inside. He was still angry. He was so angry he almost bit his tongue at the fury that still raged through him. It wasn't enough. This was not nearly enough for what Naraku had done to Inuyasha. He should suffer for days, for weeks and weeks as he screamed and pleaded for mercy that would only be given to him as Sesshoumaru tore out his heart and burned it.
He should suffer until Inuyasha's pain ended in Sesshoumaru's head.
Sesshoumaru pulled out Tenseiga, trying to see where to slice. He was going to bring him back. He'd bring him back and this time he'd take longer to kill him. He could do it more slowly, more painfully, and so much more cruelly.
And then do it again. And again.
And again…if only he could see where to cut. And he couldn't. Tenseiga wouldn't work, there wasn't enough body for him to even revive. And what good would it do? Could he even hear the bastard screaming for him if he had no lungs or mouth left to do so?
Breathing heavily, Sesshoumaru looked around the clearing again briefly, Tenseiga re-sheathed, and feeling like he'd done nothing for Inuyasha whatsoever. This wouldn't take away what was said. This wouldn't erase the memories of what had been done. This only prevented it happening again.
“This was pointless,” Sesshoumaru whispered, finally turning away from the remains of the bastard who'd hurt Inuyasha so badly. He swallowed, feeling somehow like he'd failed Inuyasha, and he left Kouga's dazed body behind him as he sprinted to return to his mate as soon as he could.
The little whelp still felt so broken inside.
What the hell was the miko doing? She was supposed to be making this better. Why wasn't she making him better?
Inuyasha stared at his toes. They were covered with mud from the damp ground he'd dug them into. He could finally look at them now without flinching. They were dirty. Just like they were supposed to be, just like the rest of him. Looking up, he couldn't keep his eyes on the small group across from him for long before looking back down. It was too painful. Sango had shown up…hours ago? Minutes? It was hard to tell. Miroku had been slung over Kirara's back, and Inuyasha had first thought that he'd already died.
He'd stopped rocking then. It was his fault. If he wasn't such a stupid, useless idiot, he would have been fighting Naraku himself, like he was supposed to, and no one would have been hurt. He would have been protecting them. But he hadn't been here, and now Miroku was barely alive. Not that he could do anything about that, either. Kagome was the one who still had some of Jinenji's antidote for poison in her backpack. Sango had taken what Kagome had and she and Kagome were working on Miroku now. Kirara had taken up the position next to Inuyasha when Kagome worried that he was sitting by himself. No one listened to Inuyasha's protests that he didn't need someone to watch over him like a stupid kid. They'd just exchanged places as though he hadn't said a word.
Had he said a word? Maybe it had all been in his head…
Well, at least now Inuyasha was finally able to sit in peace without someone rambling on continually about how `fine' everything was. He was fine, the group was fine, the village was fine, Sesshoumaru was fine, everything `would be' fine…Kagome had been hopeful and optimistic, as she usually was. Except nothing was fine. Miroku was hurt, Kouga and Sesshoumaru were still battling Naraku, and…
Inuyasha stopped staring at his toes a moment to look up. Sesshoumaru's rage was still there, but it had changed. He felt…like he wasn't fighting anymore. But he was angry. Inuyasha started to shake. Naraku must have escaped. Inuyasha tried to listen, moving his head around him quickly. Was Naraku headed back this way? Was he coming for everyone, or was he running away? He should be running away, that's what he always did.
But what if he didn't?
Kirara stood next to him as Inuyasha forced himself up and leaned on her, stumbling when his muscles strained from having been still for so long. “Kagome.” His voice was hoarse and quiet and he tried to clear his throat so he could get her attention. He couldn't fail them again.
“Kagome,” she turned her head from Miroku to stare at him. “I…Naraku might be coming. I think the fight ended, but I don't think Sesshoumaru and Kouga killed him. We need to…get ready in case he…”
Inuyasha's voice failed him as he thought about facing Naraku again. Gods, he was going to have to fight Naraku. He could feel the bottom edge of Sesshoumaru's haori flapping against his bare thighs and he shivered. If he fought bare assed, would Naraku try to… Inuyasha pushed away from Kirara and lunged for Tessaiga before he practically fell into the pond, hunting frantically with his free hand for the fire rate robes still trapped underneath the water. He found them, grabbing hold just as Kirara snagged Sesshoumaru's borrowed haori with her teeth and pulled him out of the water.
“Inuyasha, what are you doing?!” Kagome was waiting on the bank and looking him over as though he'd developed some affliction.
He ignored her and pulled against Kirara's grip on his clothing, staggering when she released it. He was trying to find the opening to his pants, the soaked fabric tangling in his hands, when he smelled Sesshoumaru. He froze, looking over his shoulder at him, and hated himself for the fear that rose up.
Was it really Sesshoumaru this time?
He whipped around to face him head on before he even finished the thought. The youkai smelled like Sesshoumaru, but…what if Inuyasha was wrong? What if he was wrong again and it was Naraku and Inuyasha let him get close and he… Inuyasha swallowed, trying not to panic, and yanked the sheath from Tessaiga. It slid from the cloth bundle in his hand, dropping soundlessly to the grass as he tried to calm his breathing.
He could figure this out. He could do this. He looked at Kagome, trying to gauge her reaction. Was she frightened? Did she sense any of the jewel? She would know, wouldn't she? Kagome could tell if this was Naraku.
“Sesshoumaru!” Kagome took a step forward, peering behind him as Sango settled back down by Miroku. “Where's Kouga? Is he all right? Is Naraku…?”
It had to be Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha thought, his shoulders relaxing slowly. If they both thought it was him, it had to be. It wasn't Naraku.
“The ookami will recover. Naraku will not.”
Naraku was dead? But then why was Sesshoumaru so upset still? He felt almost as though he still had to battle the bastard; angry and frustrated and worried…about something.
Inuyasha swallowed and tensed as Sesshoumaru walked around Kagome to stand in front of Inuyasha, his eyes roaming over Inuyasha's partially clothed body. His voice gentled. “Are you well?”
Inuyasha took a step back. “D-don't touch me.” He froze as he realized what he'd just said. Coward, he yelled inside his head. Fucking, stupid coward. How could he say something like that…in that weak, pathetic tone of voice…in front of Kagome… He couldn't even look to her and see how disgusted she was with him; he was too worried to take his eyes off of Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru aimed his focus at Kagome a moment. “He is not improving. What have you been doing, miko?”
Inuyasha tried to force his eyes from Sesshoumaru to look at her, but he couldn't. He knew it was Sesshoumaru right now. It wasn't Naraku, it was his real brother and mate. But what if that changed? As stupid and weak as it felt, he couldn't shake the feeling that if his eyes left Sesshoumaru, he'd look back and find Naraku standing in his place, too close to prevent a strike. And if Naraku stabbed him hard enough to knock him down, he might be able to paralyze him again, and then…
Inuyasha shivered violently and stepped back further just as Kagome spoke. “He needs time. He's been through an awful experience. It'll take him a while before he…”
“I'm right here.” Inuyasha said harshly, still looking only at Sesshoumaru.
“Yes.” Sesshoumaru watched him again for a minute, his eyes running down to Inuyasha's bare legs a moment. Inuyasha stiffened as the scent of his arousal teased the air. Sesshoumaru looked at the cloth in Inuyasha's hands and his aristocratic nose wrinkled. “What is that filthy mess in your hands?” Sesshoumaru's voice was uncharacteristically mild.
It was unsettling.
“They're not filthy.” Inuyasha almost clutched them to his chest defensively before he realized that he really didn't want the gooey remains of the powder to get on him. Most of it had soaked off, but there were still trails left in between some of the larger folds and…Sesshoumaru was right. They were filthy.
“They need to be cleaned.” Inuyasha tightened his grip. He wasn't going to let someone take his only clothes.
“Here, Inuyasha, I can do it for you.” Small hands reached for the cloth, startling him, and he snarled and swung with Tessaiga, stopped by Sesshoumaru's sudden grip on his arm.
With Sesshoumaru's hand holding onto his wrist, Inuyasha could finally look away from his brother and he stared at Kagome. Her eyes were huge, shocked as she stared back, her mouth open as though she had stopped mid-scream. He'd almost… He stared at his rusted katana, inches from Kagome's neck. Oh Gods, he'd almost killed her. Kagome had almost died…because of him. How could he have done that? What was wrong with him? What the hell kind of thing was he, that he would try to hurt her like this?
Sesshoumaru released his hold and plucked the cloth from Inuyasha's unresisting hands to toss to Kagome. “Here.” He didn't bother to look at her and see if she caught it. “Inuyasha and I are leaving.”
Leaning down, Sesshoumaru picked up Tessaiga's sheath and slid it onto their father's sword. Leaving the sword in Inuyasha's grip, Sesshoumaru stepped forward and carefully stood next to Inuyasha's body. When Inuyasha didn't react, he slowly put his arm around Inuyasha's waist. Inuyasha didn't move except to let his sword arm drop.
He'd almost hurt Kagome. All she was doing was trying to help and he'd almost seriously hurt her. He didn't deserve to stay near her. He didn't deserve to stay near anyone he cared about. With Sesshoumaru's heat warming his side, Inuyasha looked over at Miroku's body next to Sango. Everyone got hurt when they were around him. He ruined people.
He deserved whatever Sesshoumaru was going to do to him.
Watching blankly, he stayed frozen as Sesshoumaru drew the cloud beneath them both. He heard Kagome's stuttering protests that they should stay, and then as they rose into the air it turned to frantic questions of when they would be back, and what had happened to the jewel.
“It lies near what is left of Naraku's body. Do with it what you will.” Sesshoumaru said coldly. “We will return…when Inuyasha can stand your presence again. A few days at most. You may inform Rin and my retainer of such when they arrive.”
A few days won't be enough, Inuyasha thought. He shouldn't be near anyone. He'd destroy them, just like today. He took one last look at Kagome. It was good that he'd never mated Kagome. He was sure a mating would have signed her death warrant, bonded to a weak, useless, violent hanyou. It was better this way.
“Be calm, Inuyasha. This Sesshoumaru will not harm you,” Sesshoumaru murmured to him as they cleared the tops of the trees.
Inuyasha simply closed his eyes and wished that he could fade away.