InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Without a Lullaby ❯ Heartfelt ( Chapter 10 )

A/n: Sorry it's been a while ;-;! Anyway, here's a chapter! Mwa!

 

Chapter XI: Heartfelt

 

Kagome stood at the window, staring out at the expanse before her without much thought crossing her mind.

 

Anymore, she struck Sesshomaru as so unreal he couldn't be around her much.

 

He even went shard hunting on his own, her presence too disturbing to him for her to be traveling with him. He had found two on his own, but the process was much slower without her being there than he could have thought possible.

 

But her silence, her vacant stares, her presence which caused some sort of absence in the group disrupted his concentration too much for her to be of use.

 

He even wondered at times, since she wasn't worth his time, why he kept her there? He figured he could just return her to the humans and everything would be back to normal.

 

But she isn't a broken object I borrowed that I can just discard back into their possession.

 

He breathed in deeply as he watched her from the far end of the hallway.

 

She let the breeze blow through her hair, encircle her silky white dress, and dance along her pale skin to leave goosebumps in its wake... the silk formed to the curves of her body perfectly, like liquid, outlining the fact she wore nothing underneath...

 

Her pink nipples stood against the air's attentions, and she shivered... but she did not bother to rub her arms for warmth... Instead, she stood stock still, absent and apart from the world- only as an observer.

 

And Sesshomaru knew she fell into herself just a slight deeper, unable to find a reality in which to hold on to. She was just a breath in time and space, something that would not matter in fifty years and something he'd probably forget in five hundred years.

 

But this was a breath he couldn't let go of, and he felt himself drawn into her unawareness. He gritted his teeth together as wisps of hair brushed along her soft face, tickling her pink lips.

 

She was so pale, seemed so fragile... it almost seemed to be an injustice...

 

And before he realized it, he was next to her, looking down upon her face. She seemed oblivious to his presence for only a fraction of a second before she turned her stormy eyes upward toward him, blinking slowly and softly.

 

Her voice was soft, broken, like a traumatized child. That is why she rarely ever spoke, unless she was speaking to Rin or asking him the same questions she always asked him. And it appeared as if she was asking him yet again.

 

“Where am I?”

 

Sesshomaru closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

 

This had almost become routine, and it was wearing him down. He had never dealt with a human quite like this, and he was unsure how to fix it.

 

“In the Western Lands, in the castle of Sesshomaru.”

 

Her eyes seemed like an abyss, holding something in their depths but too far deep and too dark to reveal what their secrets were.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I am Sesshomaru.”

 

She turned her head back to look out the window mechanically, and though her question should have been full of fear... it was full of nothing but requesting an answer... and it almost demanded a truth.

 

“Are you going to hurt me?”

 

“No.”

 

She fell silent again, and her questions were almost over. He knew there was one more, and that one was one which held the most emotion of all...

 

“Are you real?”

 

He always answered this one differently, and he wasn't quite sure why. He never spoke the same answer twice for this one... but that seemed the best response of all...

 

“As real as you'll let this Sesshomaru be.”

 

She nodded slightly, turning away... but the sun glinted on her face, reflecting a single tear that had escaped her mask.

 

He felt as if he should touch her. It seemed like the right thing to do. Just touch her arm, her shoulder... somewhere insignificant, yet probably entirely too personal for either of them. He slowly began to reach out for her, to brush his fingertips along her milky white skin...

 

He felt totally beside himself, unlike himself, but he had come to slowly accept that everything that happened with her was instinctual, he just did and didn't think. He did what he was to do, and what was acceptable to him.

 

He just acted.

 

And before he made contact with her flesh, Rin came running up the hall, followed by an exasperated Jaken, screaming, “Nee-san! Nee-san! Read me a story, please?”

 

She latched herself onto Kagome's leg, and Jaken hit her on the head effectively with his staff, scolding her, “Don't be obnoxious, Rin!”

 

Sesshomaru looked down at his retainer coldly, and firmly stated, “Jaken.”

 

Jaken looked up to his lord slowly, and piped in a high-pitched voice, “Y-yes, M'lord?”

 

“Leave Rin alone.”

 

Rin smiled brightly, looking at Sesshomaru adoringly, “Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama!”

 

She grabbed Kagome's hand, dragging her off, leaving the retainer alone in Sesshomaru's presence.

 

Sesshomaru was unsure. He knew it was getting to the point he had to find out what to do about the ningen girl before she became completely unsalvageable.

 

“Jaken.”

 

Jaken lowered his head, half expectant for some sort of punishment, as he replied, “Y-yes, M'lord...?”

 

“What do you think of the human ningen girl we have recently come to acquire.” His `question' was a statement that demanded some sort of answer. But Jaken was high on the idea his master was asking for his opinion, so he wanted to answer as sincerely as possible.

 

“...she is strange, Sesshomaru-sama... she seems to have some sort of absence of mind...”

 

Sesshomaru considered his answer momentarily, before turning around. “I'm leaving Jaken. Watch over the ningen girl and Rin.”

 

Sesshomaru knew he needed the advice of the old tree, Bokuseno... he usually had the answers when Sesshomaru did not.

 

Jaken watched, rather flabbergasted, as once again his master left him behind and in charge of caring for the females.

 

He brought his sleeve up, wiping his eyes, and began to blubber pitifully, “Anything for you, M'lord, but why me? You treat your lowly servant so cruelly!”

 

Of course, Sesshomaru was already long gone, but Jaken still cried. He was always left behind nowadays, and alone with an energetic whelp and an oblivious woman-child.

 

Things could not have been much worse for Jaken... except, of course, if his master did not return ever again. But the mere thought caused Jaken to laugh, for he knew his lord would always return for him. Taking on a dreamy appearance, Jaken strolled down the hall with a bounce in his step to perhaps go have a cup of sake. His mind turning to Kagome, he contemplated the fact ningen woman hardly ever moved, and never acknowledged his presence. He sometimes wondered if she could even hear him.

 

His countenance took on a serious look.... Jaken knew he wasn't stupid. Jaken could clearly see his master cared for Inuyasha's old wench more than he let on. He made sure her needs were attended to, even if it came down to carrying her where she needed to go... but the female had taken a ghostly white color to her previously creamy skin. It was even somewhat tanned before, but being inside for what had been quite a few months by now had changed that quite drastically. It was almost as if she were the color of rice paper, almost void of anything at all. She looked vacant when one peered upon her... except when his master or Rin came about. And Rin was with her at the time being, and Jaken had a few precious moments to himself.

 

He wondered about the woman. His master never told him what had happened to her, when he found the woman in his bed one day. He was about to beat her once with his staff while she slept and demand her vacancy of the premises immediately, but his master stopped him before he could even bring the staff down. He said she had encountered some bandits, and from then on she was allowed wherever she wished to go. Not even having that own privilege himself, he grew jealous and after lavishing his master with compliments, he exited. But later that day when he saw the woman, and the look on her face, he suddenly revoked his jealousy. To have that privilege granted on such terms of.... Jaken thought hard on what would be the right thing to say... such a detachment of reality...? He frowned... more like an absence of mind, he thought to himself... was not worth it.

 

He'd rather have his sanity in one piece than acquire such favorable treatment under such conditions.

 

(In Rin's room...)

 

 

“Kagome-neesan, when it says the Tennyo went back up to heaven, did she leave her children behind?” Kagome looked over the story and nodded back at Rin. Rin looked somewhat sad, “Did the Tennyo not love her children?” Kagome frowned slightly, but with only the slightest of creases as she spoke in such a low volume that Rin had to strain to hear her while remaining absolutely silent. “I don't know, Rin-chan... it does not say. But I think that she would love her children.”

 

Rin blinked up at her, “Why is that, when she left her children?” Kagome looked down at the young child... she was so inquisitive, so bright... so untainted...

 

“Because... sometimes, people have to do what they have to do, Rin-chan... that does not mean they do not stop thinking about those they love or stop loving them altogether.” Rin nodded as though she fully understood, looking down at the colorful painting in the book as she gently touched it. It was a picture of the Tennyo ascending toward the sky as her children reached up for... her feathered robe following behind her as if it were a radiant tail and she were some sort of phoenix. It contained the colors of the rainbow, and the maiden was so beautiful she looked unreal.

 

“I hope I am that pretty when I grow up,” she sighed deeply, looking up into Kagome's blue eyes. “Just as pretty as you and the Tennyo are.”

 

Kagome looked away... she did not say anything, but nothing inside her agreed that she was beautiful like the heaven maiden.

 

 

“Will you read me another story, Kagome?” Kagome nodded gently, picking up another scroll and began to read Rin its contents.

 

 

A/n: Forgive the delay. But I am going to begin correcting the chapters, and lengthening them because some of them really need it. Okay? :3. Ciao.