InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Without a Lullaby ❯ Unwanted ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter XIV: Unwanted

 

Kagome felt her eyes slide open blearily as the sunlight hit her face, frowning at the unwanted wake up call. She felt strong arms wrapped securely around her torso, and she suddenly remembered the night before and what almost happened.

 

...Sesshomaru...

 

Delicate fingertips lifted up to touch her tiers, gently swollen from the attentions of earlier. He had kissed her all night, as if he were addicted to her taste and could not stop. She knew he wanted her... but she was unsure how everything had come to be this.

 

How has it come to be this way?

 

Betrayal harped across her mind unforgiving, and mercilessly. Had she really so easily given up Inuyasha's memory?

 

I'm so... so sorry...

 

She felt herself bite her lip... Was it really so wrong of her?

 

She felt so alone... but Sesshomaru seemed to ease the pain of loneliness...

 

Could anyone really blame her?

 

She slowly eased herself out of the youkai lord's arms, and to her surprise, he stayed comfortably asleep. After groaning a bit and rolling on to his back, flinging one arm over his eyes to block out the light he settled down nicely.

 

And as Kagome stood there, one hand on her hip indifferently and stared at him... she realized that was so very... abnormally normal for him. That was a... normal thing to do... for anyone... while they slept.

 

She felt that half-crease across her face, the modified form of a frown in place of a passive look for her.

 

Anything that Sesshomaru did that could be considered, well, normal, or casual... wasn't.

 

For him, at the very least, anyway.

 

Bringing herself around, she turned and went over to the window, and took a seat on the window-seat beneath her. She felt a numbness take place again, as she stared out. Nothing ever changed as she stared out the window. Nothing moved forward or backward on the rocky terrain around her. That was the beauty of it.

 

It was everlasting, unchanging, unmovable. Nothing could deface the perfection of its cold touch. It was a wasteland where only the strong could survive.

 

And that was probably why Sesshomaru chose such a desolate place for his castle.

 

Of course, it was in the middle of two valleys, both plentiful in both food and water.

But this was perhaps the epitome of isolation in any of the Western Lands. But the coldness reminded Kagome of the coldness of her, of Sesshomaru. Of loneliness.

 

This place was lonely...

 

There was a garden, of course... Manmade and manufactured to the highest degree, and it took large amounts of youki to sustain it, but it was all for Rin. So she'd have someplace to pick flowers. Maybe an illusion of light among the emptiness.

 

A light in an abyss, a void, where nothing can see and nothing can live.

 

An eternity of shallowness.

 

Was it really so, anymore? Was life really so cruel?

 

She didn't want to think so. And she couldn't tell if she felt so.

 

What was... just was, and there wasn't nothing complicated to it. Not to say life wasn't complicated, of course, just that life went on.

 

With or without her, and how she felt about it.

 

Even without Sesshomaru, life would go on. For she seriously doubted Sesshomaru had been alive five billion years, or even five thousand.

 

Five hundred was perhaps a bit more plausible.

 

Her life, however, was a different story...

 

...I miss my family...

 

Souta, Jii-chan, Okaa-san.

 

How long had it been since she had seen them?

 

Weeks?

 

More than...

 

Months?

 

Quite a many of them....

 

Was it nearly winter?

 

Yes... When had she left Inuyasha's grave? In the spring?

 

She leaned her forehead forward, leaning it against the glass. She was almost mildly surprised he had glass. Historically, was he able to have glass?

 

Did it matter either way? Because she was still here, still leaning on the glass, still seeing the fog upon it because of her breath. She still met those empty sapphire eyes in the window...

 

In rage, suddenly, Kagome screamed out at the sight of her eyes and stood up. She looked at the desk to her left, reached down and grabbed the chair before it. And with strength she didn't knew she had, she flung the solid oaken piece out the window, shattering her emptiness in pieces across the floor and across the courtyard.

 

At the sound of her outburst, Sesshomaru bolted up in bed. He had been half awake before at her leave of the bed, but had left her alone. She seemed to be quiet, brooding. But now he was startled, because usually she was timid and afraid.

 

But now she had fire... and it was not the fire she had before, the fire that would burn the old and make room for the new... no, it was the fire that consumed and was uncontrollable, full of rage.

 

Kagome paces around in circles, her hands on her head as the wintry chill came as a breeze around her, danced and tried to comfort her at her feet. The cold dimmed her skin, made her appear as if she were a ghost. The sheer material of her night gown fluttered around her, appearing to glow above the red that seeped from the soles of her feet.

 

She was walking on broken glass.

 

Sesshomaru rose from bed swiftly, going to her side and bringing her to him. But she lashed out at him, screaming in a hoarse voice due to the morning air and the dryness of her throat.

 

“I HATE THIS!”

 

Sesshomaru was taken aback at her shout, frowning and trying to decipher exactly how she meant what she said.

 

Does she hate our situation...?

 

“It's all wrong! All of it!”

 

She continued her mad pacing on the floor, the crimson now becoming a sort of puddle, yet still she went on.

 

“I don't understand...”

 

“What don't you understand, Sesshomaru?! What, do you think this is a game?! Did you assume messing with my mind would get you anywhere with me?!”

 

Though she was speaking clearer, Sesshomaru was still at a loss of what to say.

 

“This is a lie! All of this is a lie!”

 

“...What is?”

 

“What you told me is a lie! What's happening is a lie! This whole fucking life is a goddamn lie!”

 

Becoming offended, Sesshomaru spoke up.

 

“This Sesshomaru does many things, but I do not lie.”

 

Kagome stared at him coldly, leaving her place on the floor to walk straight up to him, leaving a path of blood behind her.

 

“Then tell me again.”

 

“What?”

 

“What you told me.”

 

Sesshomaru stared down in to her hard eyes, searching her and what she wanted.

 

“...I love you.”

 

“Bullshit.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because! This is WRONG! It isn't supposed to be like this!” Kagome stamped her foot, glaring at him.

 

“How is it supposed to be then?”

 

“Inuyasha and I!”

 

At those three words, Sesshomaru felt as if she had slapped him in the face.

 

...and he rose to challenge of her words.

 

“If it was supposed to be that way Kagome, then why isn't it?”

 

She stood there gaping, like a fish... until she blurted, “IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!”

 

“My fault? Mine? Pardon me, but if I am mistaken, I was no where near Inuyasha when he died. And if anything, I am sorry that you are too blind to see what is in front of you and that you are in denial of yourself!” Sesshomaru spoke in a low hiss, his anger shining through the low decibel of his tones as he seethed. At this, he stalked out of the room quickly, unwilling to follow the fight further.

 

Then Kagome picked up a small glass jar and threw it against the door that had closed quietly behind Sesshomaru but a second ago, relishing in the sound of the breaking glass.

 

Just as with the window.

 

So Kagome went around the room, breaking every breakable object there was.

 

The sound comforted her loneliness, because the sound reminded her of the noise that rang in her soul.

 

When there was nothing left, all Kagome could do was shriek “POMPOUS ASSHOLE!” at the door, and fall to her knees, sobbing for a reason she could not remember for the life of her.

 

 

 

 

A/n: Somewhat short, I know... but I do want to say-thank you to all the new reviewers! You all are positively wonderful! Thank you, thank you, thank you to you all! But that does not mean in anyway to quit reviewing. ^_^ So keep it up, and thanks so much!