InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Without a Lullaby ❯ Never ( Chapter 14 )

Chapter XV: Never

 

Sesshomaru leaned against the door as he heard the crashing in his own room, ringing down the hallways as Kagome's fury filled the air. What fueled her fire, her rage, he knew but didn't understand why she went into such hysterics. He wasn't sure how to deal with her, and in all honesty he should have been angry with the fact she was destroying his personal possessions. But he was beyond that now, and he really didn't even care anymore.

 

All he cared about was her safety. And so, that was what he tried to do, was do what he thought what was best for her.

 

But it was all crumbling before his very eyes and he wasn't sure what he could do about it.

 

In al honesty, Sesshomaru felt helpless.

 

And as he stood there, leaning against the door, debating inside his mind on what to do, he heard her cry out, “POMPOUS ASSHOLE!”

 

A nerve inside him twitched, somewhat enthralled and annoyed by the audaciousness of her accusation, despite the fact he was not `supposed' to hear it.

 

Then again, with the way she screamed it, she probably did want me to hear it...

 

His line of thought stopped as he heard her moving about inside, and making quick footsteps towards the door. He felt himself freeze up, as if he were a pup caught eavesdropping, and quickly deliberated in his head whether or not to leave before she reached the door.

 

Preposterous! This is MY territory and I will not let her affect how I choose to live here.

 

As Kagome threw the door wide open, eyes closed and face flushed a pretty pink through her anger, tears streaming down her cheeks hastily, she yelled out loud, “GET BACK HERE, SESSHOMARU!”

 

Sesshomaru again felt his patience waning, as he stared down at the girl whom he literally towered over. Kagome's eyes flew open, scowling quickly up at him, revealing a squall within those liquid eyes of hers. She stared at him with such intensity, such passionate anger, that he was slightly taken aback by the similarity between the way Kagome looked at him and the way his otouto had looked at him in the same way.

 

Inuyasha... did you really have such a hold on this girl's heart...?

 

He swore that his brother was mocking him.

 

“I am right here, there is no need to shout.”

 

Kagome visibly bristled at him calm attitude, despite the fact she was screaming in his face. She wanted him to yell back, wanted him to get as riled as she was. She felt uncontrolled, wild, untamed. It was an exhilarating feeling, as if she was invincible... but it also frightened her, as if even though she was indestructible, she could still destroy herself. Her and only her.

 

“There's every reason to shout, Sesshomaru!”

 

Sesshomaru gave her a snide look, upset with her antics and distressed by her attitude. He grabbed her roughly by the arm, pulling her face close to his as he gave her a low whisper that came out in a half-growl, “That is fine, but there is no reason to yell like you are when Rin very well could hear. If you wish to scream, you may, but I will not tolerate your misunderstandings in her presence or within earshot of her. Agreed?”

 

Kagome nodded harshly, feeling the circulation to her arm being cut off. She gave him another nasty look, and though she did honestly agree with him, she still preferred to be able to have a screaming match with him in the hallway, out in the open. She knew that would push his buttons better.

 

Gently pushing Kagome into his room that was now in utter chaos, he turned about and locked the door behind him. He absent-mindedly noticed that was a tendency he had when Kagome was in his room... otherwise, it was quite often left unlocked. It was an understanding between himself, Jaken, and Rin that they were not allowed inside his room or near his room unless he directed it so or in case of emergency.

 

“So, what exactly is it you wish to argue further about?”

 

Kagome roughly pulled her arm from his grip, and somewhere inside her mind she was somewhat upset with the knowledge that the only reason she got it back was that he allowed her to pull away.

 

“...I want to go home.”

 

“...No.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I need you here.”

 

Kagome tossed her hands up in exaggerated exasperation, as if she were becoming frantic. “I need to go home. You don't need me here, you want me here.”

 

“No. I need your help to find the jewel shards. So, in fact, the reality is quite opposite of what you said.”

 

Kagome stared at him coldly, “You can't tell me what to do.”

 

“Actually, I can.”

 

“...I don't have to. I can go home on my own.”

 

“You don't know the way back.”

 

Sesshomaru watched as Kagome's eyes searched his own, held his gaze, and pierced through his mask. Neither one of them could hide from the other, much to one another's displeasure. She didn't want to see in his eyes what she saw there, and he didn't want her to either.

 

She saw suppressed rejection, and resolution.

 

She knew he wouldn't let her go.

 

But she also knew as well as he did he spoke the truth.

 

“So, what, you're going to blackmail me?'

 

Sesshomaru gave her a quizzical look, “I don't understand what you are saying.”

 

“Blackmail... you know... agh! Take advantage of the fact I don't know!”

 

Sesshomaru went silent.

 

“ASSHOLE! You're just using me, I knew it!!”

 

Her eyebrows furrowed deeper, a furious look dead-set on her face, as if it were etched into stone.

 

“You're using me in a way, as well.”

 

“Arrogant... And how, exactly, am I?!”

 

“For protection. You're using my things, my space, my time. For shelter. For your own personal needs, and now you're using me to vent misdirected emotional anger.”

 

“That's not true!”

 

“It very well is, and you know it Kagome.”

 

Kagome's fists tightened until her knuckles were white.

 

“Then why are you standing there taking it?!”

 

“I've told you already.”

 

Kagome's face paled for a fraction of a moment, then colored viciously at his honesty.

 

“I never asked you to!”

 

Sesshomaru's patience was waning thin.

“I never asked to either.”

 

“But you did!”

 

“But I didn't want to have any sort of emotional bond with a mortal girl who is still mourning my dead brother.... A girl who disrespects me, my belongings, my ward, and all around anything relating to me.”

 

Kagome fell silent.

 

“A girl who all in all is still a child, who does not know what she wants. I never asked you to affect me, Kagome, but you did and you have, and you've changed me. And I don't like it, but I know how to adapt and accept it.”

 

Kagome averted her eyes away from him, her heated gaze upon the ground.

 

Sesshomaru shook his head, staring down at his claws in open disgust. “Kagome, you've made this Sesshomaru... weak. I don't think, I just act. And I hate it, and it's unjustified.”

 

Then, Kagome felt delicate fingertips take a hold of her chin gently, as he turned her sorrow-filled face toward him. “But I accept it. Because that is what I must do to survive. It wasn't planned, it just was. And I think we must do this together to understand it.”

 

Kagome's brows knitted together... and she realized... he had been strong for her, tried to carry her through her troubles... she had let misery get the better of her... And though that agonizing pain still laid within her... she knew... she had to let go... but it was so hard.

 

She threw herself into Sesshomaru's arms, as he slowly wrapped them around her, cautiously placing them upon her small frame. She shook and trembled as if she were severely cold, but he knew better... he ran his fingers slowly through her hair, allowing himself to relish in the feel and fineness of it....

 

I had forgotten what it was like to love...

 

“I'm afraid...”

 

Sesshomaru just breathed deeply, allowing her to tighten a grip upon his robe, finding solace in his arms.

 

I never imagined a female would find comfort in my arms...

 

“I cannot promise it will be okay, Kagome...”

 

Kagome looked up at him, looking upset at the fact he would not promise her what she most wanted to hear.

 

“But I can promise I will protect you the best I can... better than I have been, and better than anyone else can... I will try to be even better than my otouto, Inuyasha...”

 

Kagome buried her face into his chest, sighing a great heaving sigh, a soul sigh... one where a person shudders on the inside from the emotional burden of feeling alone.

 

Sesshomaru lifted her chin gently, looking into the dead storms of Kagome's hues... and captured her lips as he had done so many times the night before, sliding his velvet tongue into her mouth to taste her.

 

And she tasted like honeyed dewdrops.

 

And she smelled like morning.

 

She smelled like the epitome of life...

 

If only he could help her see what he saw inside of her.

 

The light that was captured by a demon.

 

And I am going to be the one to release it again. That is something I wish to promise you as well, Kagome. Never shall you be alone again. I promise.