Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Yutori No Kagami ❯ Imaginary ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Yutori No Kagami

Himitsu No Basho-Imaginary

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

EeLf UoY oD yHw EsUoM eLtTiL?

It is only you the cat and me

YeBo Tn'SeOd TaC eHt Fi

Kill me if you may

Od UoY eRoFeB tUb

I've a favor for you

SiEl TuOhTiW rEwSnA, nOiTsEuQ sIhT

If I am neither the cat nor the mouse,

I mA oHw NeHt?

0.Xatti

A month had gone by since he'd first gained consciousness from Sora's coma, the self inflicted abuse seeming to subside if only a little. A week later, he'd been discharged from the hospital, the doctors deeming him okay to be released even though new cuts were reported. But he was still frighteningly unresponsive and distant, unable to speak and or react to things quickly.

Often times he took to sitting on the Leonheart's back porch to clear his cluttered mind, fragments of memories and voices swirling within the ether of his mind making his head ache. He took medication for the pain and was usually too out of it to receive Sora's visitors. But that was nothing compared to the sleeping pills.

They allowed him peaceful sleep, but they took away any of his normal awareness, leaving him unable to react to anything. If he awoke in the night screaming as per usual, he would need to be calmed down long enough to force him to take more of the medication. And then he would loose consciousness until a given amount of time. But… if he didn't remember the dreams in the first place… why did he need to take it?

`None of it makes sense…' he thought as he was situated in Sora's room, his host's headphones blaring in his ears. Nadare's melodious voice calming him and allowing him peace for the moment, as Olette wouldn't give him a moment to breathe otherwise. Speaking of Nadare, his pictures were littered about the room, posters hanging off the walls and ceiling like wallpaper…

A particularly large poster caught his eye and he moved over to it, touching the glossy texture and looking into his eyes. Fathomless ebony bore into his and he froze, a new song starting in his ears.

My heart goes out to you my love,

How I yearn to break your curse upon me,

But I cannot act, cannot move, cannot breathe

Until I make you belong to me…

A shadow fell over him at that moment and he turned, azure meeting aquamarine. He only tilted his head in curiosity, the music blaring in his ears. `Why was he here again…?'

Only to me…!

Nothing else matters, if only

I could cage you, you would be mine

Mine to see and touch, my love

My beautiful little dove…

The headphones were removed and he felt an eyebrow twitch. First Olette and now this boy…Riku was it? They always seemed to get in the way of… everything. But who was he to complain? They only wanted Sora… and he wasn't Sora… right? How he hated it here… nothing made sense.

He donned a black muscle shirt that was hidden under a red button-up top with a large golden dragon embroidered on the back. His black jean pants clung slightly to his butt, but they flared out at the leg. And his long silver hair fell freely down his back, slipping about his shoulders.

Riku noticed the slightly annoyed look and listened a little to the song on the headphones. Possession: By Avalanche. He frowned and looked to Sora, who merely blinked. He sighed, gripping the headphones and spoke, voice as tight as the smile on his face.

“Avalanche again? Even losing your memory hasn't changed your obsession.” Riku murmured, placing his hands on either side of Sora's head.

“Ri…ku..?” the little brunette questioned, reaching slightly for the headphones as Riku's forehead touched his gently.

“Why, Sora? Why don't you understand how much I…” here he paused, unwilling to go further. This was bordering on taking advantage…

He pulled back and stared at the younger male, heart heavy with indecision and longing. He wouldn't remember what had happened when his Sora returned, his present personality and memories overridden by those of old. So… a little one wouldn't… hurt…

His eyes widened as realization hit.

He wouldn't remember…

He drew close again; his nose nearly touching the other's their breath mingling. Temptation was a cruel mistress he knew as he moved ever closer to the other, his lips ghosting over the younger's.

Knock, knock, knock!

Hearing the click of the bedroom door, he halted and pulled back, aquamarines murderous. Riku turned his head to see who it was, and the brunette took this chance and snatched back the headphones, moving away when the boy allowed him to move. He placed the phones on his ears as he sat on the bed, just only catching the last bit of Possession.

I have captured you little dove,

I won't allow you to fly away again…

For you are mine to break…

Mine to care for…

Mine to take…

And nothing will make me let you go!

Amber flashed across his mind and he winced, hands shooting to his head. Why did his head hurt? Every time he thought of certain things, a sharp pain would erupt within his mind. It was almost as if… he wasn't allowed to remember.

This place didn't make any sense… he wanted out! He'd rather be nothing than stay here!

And just like that… the pain subsided to a dull throb, this always happened. The pain would be so intense that he would think negatively and then it would leave. He didn't understand it, and he didn't want to understand it. If he just ignored it… this problem would more than likely go away.

Or… that's what the shrink had told him. And he believed it.

He looked up, saw Olette in the doorway and frowned, shutting the CD player off. Why was she here? Why couldn't they just leave him alone…? Oh wait… he was Sora... or just in his body for the time being. Damn.

“Hey Riku, I heard that you were taking Sora out,” she stated, emerald greens trained on the silver-haired male before her.

“…So…?” he questioned, anger expertly hidden behind an impassive mask. Did she always enter Sora's room like this? He couldn't recall, being the heir of the Kinusaya corp. did have its disadvantages…

`So… even he gets annoyed. I guess that's one good thing about this. I just thought he was always nice…' he thought, blue eyes trained on the two before him.

“So are you?” Olette asked, a light blush dusting her cheeks, accenting the fluffy pink pajamas that she donned.

Riku gave a long suffering sigh and cast a glance to the brunette on the bed. Sora only smiled a little and left him to fend off his little sister. Well… at least he was smarter, his Sora would have rushed to his aid, taking on the annoying child himself. How he missed him…

So… very much…

“Yes, we're going somewhere.” He answered, voice sounding tired.

By this time, Olette was bouncing on her heels, her curiosity taking the best of her, “where, where?”

Riku smirked slightly. `Too bad…' he thought before he let the silence draw out a little more, “Sore wa himitsu desu…(1) Olette.”

She pouted and huffed, saying as she turned to leave, “fine then, be that way! I'll just ask Squall about this secret little place of yours.”

RIku chuckled as she stomped out; saying more to himself than to anyone else, “doubt he'd answer anyway.”

He turned back to Sora and sighed heavily, that girl was far too hyper for her age. He didn't know how Sora and Squall could put up with her, but granted he was an antisocial bastard… he probably just ignored her. He was the complete opposite of Olette, while Sora just kind of sat in the middle. He was the one blessed with the good genes, obviously. He blinked as he noticed Sora's state of dress, well… he did come early, and Sora was normally a late but light sleeper… but… still in the pajamas?

Not that he really complained…

He wore a baby blue long sleeved t-shirt that went a little past his waist. It rested on his hips and hid the drawstring of the black cotton pants that obscured his view of the other's boxers. The white socks he wore were irrelevant. And were those bandages around his neck? Oh yeah… the hospital… But an eyebrow rose a little as a thought made itself present.

`Does he normally wear this much to bed? I know its autumn and all but…'

“Uh, Sora? Not to rush you, but…” he began, just a little annoyed that Sora had been staring at one of those Nadare posters around his room, “Aren't you going to get dressed?”

Blue eyes shifted to his, the annoyance hidden within them carefully. `Does he ever stop with the questions? Those earlier ones I have no clue what he means… probably something pertaining to Sora. But… we do have an… appointment, right?'

He still didn't know the difference between an outing and an appointment. In his eyes they were one in the same. They were both arranged for him and all he had to do was attend. But the way Squall and Olette had reacted made it seem like a big deal. How he wished he didn't have to go… but he agreed and he didn't want to dwell on it further. Thinking too much was sure to have bad aftereffects…

Or… that was what the shrink had told him as well. Who was he to go against the word of a certified professional? What made him a certified professional? Why did he dwell on such things?

He looked down at himself and frowned a little before looking back up at RIku, “I… can't.”

Riku's expression was that of a bewildered one. `He couldn't? Couldn't what?'

“What do you mean?” He asked, horribly lost.

“I… can't… dress myself… Squall usually… dresses me… Riku.”

Said silver haired male's mind shut down for a moment. He couldn't dress himself? Was the amnesia so bad that he was unable to remember how to put clothes on correctly?

“What..?” was all he could manage as he fought to keep the blush form rising to his face. Maybe he'd heard wrong?

But before the boy could process an answer that was suitable enough, a gruff voice sounded from the doorway, making them both jump, “damn it, why of all days on my day off? Out, Riku. Sora needs to get ready before you go anywhere.”

Riku scowled and turned, a barrage of questions on his lips, but stopped himself. Squall looked tired as all Hell, and he bet he knew why. Olette. He almost felt sorry for the guy. Almost. With a last glance at Sora he left the room, closing the door with a soft click.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Take off your clothes and undo the bandages, then get in the tub and run the water. I'll get the clothes you'll wear and be right there.” Squall muttered, already moving to the closet.

Sora watched him and then moved to take off his shirt. He winced a little as the fabric rubbed against the parts of his body that were newly scarred. He glared at the bandages that bound his body tight before moving to his pants where more white bandages were below. Looking back to see if Squall was looking, he wasn't, he removed his boxers, moving to go into the bathroom.

There he removed the many bandages without hurting himself and ran the water, refusing to look to the scars that marred Sora's body. They danced along the boy's torso and limbs, black marking the peach flesh in zigzags and crosses, curves and lines. The worst were on the neck, looking to be bite marks… but that couldn't be… could it?

It would be too weird it they were.

“What's the matter?” Squall's voice sounded behind him and he jumped as said male entered the bathroom with a towel and washcloth in hand.

He turned quickly and felt his lips tug downward in another frown. Did he really need to be that quiet? Why was he so jumpy?

“Nothing…” he muttered, climbing into the tub, inadvertently showing Squall his back. The items in his hands clattered to the tiled floor, making Sora pause.

The scars made a design this time. Small wings were placed next to a crown that floated above a heart-shaped object that had three prongs on the bottom going in three directions. The two on the side were curved slightly up, while the third was pointed straight down. There was an `x' in the larger part near the top where one line had spike-like protrusions(2). But what really caught his attention was the word embedded within his lower back, just under the design.

`M.I.N.E.'

“Are you… alright… Squall?” he asked, his voice filled with curiosity as the brunette looked up from the scars.

He wasn't worried… no he wasn't. How could he worry about someone that only cared for Sora…? It just… wouldn't make sense… now would it…?

“Yeah… just get in the tub.”

He glanced over his shoulder for a moment before he did as he was told.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

He was running a towel through his damp hair before Riku burst in, looking harried with a joyful Olette clinging to his arm. Aquamarines looked to Sora and the look over he gave him made the younger blush slightly despite himself.

Blue eyes were hidden beneath damp chocolate bangs as the strands hung low over his shoulders. He donned a dark blue sweater vest and a white turtleneck underneath, the khaki pants were irrelevant. Or so he decided.

He shook Olette off of his arm and grabbed Sora's hand, pulling the other toward the door. The brunette tried to free himself and retrieve the CD player, but Riku held fast.

Blue eyes turned to meet aquamarines and he paused. What was his deal...?

“Wait Na… dare…” he said, still trying to make his way back to the bed.

Aquamarine eyes blazed and he gave a sharp tug to pull him towards the door, neither of the other two noticed Sora's wince, “No Nadare today, Sora. Not where we're going.”

Blue eyes moved to Riku and he barely refrained from scowling. `What is his deal?' Then out loud he asked, “Why…?”

The elder male moved closer to him and whispered, not noticing the other's slight blush at his close proximity, “Because, we're going to our special, secret place.”

`Our? Doesn't he mean… Sora's…?' This time, a small frown made its way onto his face. Somehow… the thought bothered him… but he didn't know why…

Before Sora could answer, Olette cut in, her voice excited and her eyes bright, “Tell me where? Squall didn't even tell me!”

Riku only smirked, pulling Sora along with him gently out the door. Blue eyes drifted back to the bed before the interior of the room was lost to him.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

The autumn scenery outside rushed past his vision, the trees multicolored and near bare. The healthy green leaves of summer replaced by the rustic reds and golds of fall. The weather was a little chilly, but not unbearable, one could still wear short-sleeved shirts if they chose.

He sat back in the leather seat and decided that he rather liked autumn. He looked around himself and felt something akin to awe. He was sitting within a rather large limo; Riku said it was his own private one.

One the left(3), behind the driver's seat, was a bin filled with ice and sodas of all types. To the right, he saw a television with a game system hooked up to it, which Riku was currently playing. From what he could see of it, it looked to be a PS2 and the game case (that was carelessly thrown to the floor) read: Dynasty Warriors.

“Goddammit!” Riku cursed, aqua green eyes fixed on the screen, fingers tapping the buttons in time to the combos, “why the Hell is he on the second level?”

Blue eyes moved to the screen just as it read, `Zhao Yun was slain!' and then, `GAME OVER.'

“Who is…?” he questioned, wanting to know who it was that had angered Riku. They got an `A' in his book.

“Lu Bu,” he sighed, moving to turn it off, “he's unnecessarily pumped up for a second level boss.”

He was struck with a thought that seemed so absurd that he wasn't sure as to why he'd thought it, but he did. It was almost as if… he needed to play…

“Can I… try?” he asked, blue eyes imploring as he reached out for the black controller.

He paused, a look of disbelief on his face before he smiled. Sora loved this game… were his memories returning? He took out another controller and plugged it into the second slot, handing it out to Sora.

“Sure.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I can't believe you beat him!” Riku said, eyes trained on the brunette as he dragged his feet though the sand. His hair blew lightly in the ocean breeze.

He only blushed a little and wrung his hands. He hadn't done anything that special had he? Did Sora do that too? His eyes narrowed lightly and his blush let up some. He wouldn't know, the shrink said that he'd disappear once Sora's old traits made themselves apparent.

The thought was slightly disconcerting.

Oblivious to his mental struggle, the silver-haired male led Sora along the deserted beach, the temperature chilly so close to the water. When Sora had beaten Lu Bu, he'd known that his Sora was somewhere in there, just under the surface. He'd always been better at those kinds of games.

“Are we… almost there…?” he asked, watching as some sand fell away from his shoes. `Will I… truly disappear when Sora is strong enough to resurface, or will I just rest within him… like these grains of sand on this beach…? Only…. Time will tell…'

“Yeah, you can see the giant Oak there.” Riku pointed out, pushing some hair out of his face, “the roots are visible from inside the cave.”

“Hm…” he murmured, glancing ahead before looking to Riku as if wanting to say something. There was something… something that he felt was needed... but what?

Riku turned to him, a half smile on his face. He blushed but didn't look away. `What is this feeling…? I've… never felt it before…' Riku's smile turned into a smirk and he spoke.

“C'mon, Sora. I'll race you.”

It was like a warmth spread within him when he said it, and his eyes lit up as he and Riku stopped next to each other, the wind blowing strands of cinnamon and silver in their faces. A smile crept unbidden to his face and he spoke, voice challenging.

“You're on.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

Riku slowed to a stop and Sora joined his shortly after, both's breathing slightly ragged. Blue eyes found his and the later pouted unconsciously. He knew Sora couldn't win that race, but he was loath to tell him. He loved teasing him like that.

“No fair Ri… Riku! You cheated… somehow!” he panted, hands on his knees and out of breath. Riku only smirked and continued walking, his voice drifting to him when he entered the cavern.

“Prove it.”

He stood up straight and opened his mouth before closing it again, he watched Riku disappear around the corner before following, his thoughts swirling. There was no use going on about it, no use getting worked up… He didn't know if Sora had ever beaten him either, and why had he agreed to race Riku? He would just blame it on the moment and be done with it. Lifting his head, he was met with the interior of the cave and he felt his breath hitch, his thoughts quieting.

Deep grey stone met his eyes, oak roots twined and twisted about them, seemingly keeping them in place. Light filtered in from above and played on Riku's hair and the sand, making them both glitter like spun glass. There were markings… no… drawings on the stones, looking to be more like scribbles than actual art.

Taking a few steps in, he examined them one by one until a doodle near an old wooden door caught his eye. He kneeled down before it, and his eyes widened.

It was Sora… and Kairi… if he was correct.

One looked badly drawn, crude scratches made a poorly drawn Kairi…a star in his hand extending from he to Kairi. The other was a fairly well done Sora, drawn with expert care… another star in her hand extending to him. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes a little.

Why wasn't Riku drawn in as well?

As if to answer his question, Riku spoke, his voice drifting from the upper left, “you and Kairi… drew each other one day when I was visiting my aunt and uncle. She had a crush on you even then and I guess you just wanted to draw since you never really showed any interest… But it seems as though she's been here recently… very recent.”

He felt eyes on him and he turned, his heart skipping a beat. Aquamarines stared him down with so much emotion that it was difficult to breathe. His eyes darted away and he felt his cheeks heat. It was that feeling again... but why was he blushing so? He didn't understand it. Was he supposed to feel this way?

A cool yet gentle hand slipped under his chin and turned it gently to face its owner as Riku kneeled next to him, his thoughts silencing immediately. He remained still as Riku let a thumb caress his cheek, the heat from his cheeks dimming slightly.

His heart was beating rapidly against his ribcage as Riku's face drew nearer. His eyes fell half mast when the eyes before him drew so close that he could see the sunlight swirl within those cool depths. A last thought flew across his mind before his eyes slid shut and cool lips touched his.

`How can I feel this way if I'm not real?'

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

He lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling in silence. Blue eyes looked down as he moved his hand to touch his lips. He could still remember how Riku's tentative lips had met his softly, the long silver of his hair falling into his face and tickling his skin.

The ride back was silent if not downright awkward. He'd refused to meet the other's eyes, instead looking out into the scenery. And when the limo had stopped outside of the house, he'd dashed out of it and went inside, not even saying goodbye.

It was better that way… right?

He'd gotten home a few hours ago and had immediately shut himself in Sora's room amidst questions and looks from Olette and Squall, he'd closed and locked the door quickly and dressed in his long pajamas and socks without hurting himself. He'd then buried himself within the blankets soon after, mind too cluttered with thoughts to do anything else.

Why had he allowed him to kiss him? There was no explanation to this as he could not understand it. He shouldn't have done that… was it these feelings that made him do that? But… why did he have such feelings anyway? He was an illusion, and illusions weren't allowed such feelings… but if that was so… why had he allowed him to kiss him?

All of his thinking led him nowhere, except in a rather large circle that was getting just a bit tiring. Blue eyes flicked to the bedside table that showed the glaring red numbers of the clock that read 9:30 P.M. This was no good… he'd be starting school tomorrow, even though it was well into October already, quite close to Halloween.

He reached over to the clock and set the time, before laying back to situate himself in the pillows. He turned over to his side and sighed before scowling, his mind going back to his previous thoughts, no matter how hard he tried to ignore them.

Even if he wasn't real, he decided (how ever begrudgingly that was) that he rather enjoyed Riku's presence. His attitude and mannerisms were… amusing he'd say. Nadare… he was merely a picture to be seen and a voice to be heard, while Riku…. Riku was real and tangible.

`Why am I comparing them…?' He thought as his eyes closed slowly, `Maybe it's because… I don't want to disappear… pretending to be real for a little longer wouldn't hurt… right?'

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

I opened my eyes and was met with deep violet. I could feel burningly cold arms around my naked torso and shivered when my senses came back to me. His chin was buried in my hair and his legs were entwined with mine, the shorts that I had on allowed skin to skin contact that was not at all pleasant.

I tried to push away from him but he held fast, moving his head to look at me. I looked up at him with what I hoped was distaste and I felt my lip curl back from my teeth. His eyes crinkled as he smiled and he kissed my forehead softly, his frigid touch burning me.

I jerked away and he let me go, his claws dragging lazily along my waist as I moved away, frantic to keep warm. I looked down when I was a safe distance away (or as safe as you can feel here) and felt the tears come almost immediately. Why was this happening to me? What had I done to deserve this Hell?

For the past month this is where I have resided, the real Sora. This is where my personality has been chained, shackled to my darker side unable to do anything but watch that shallow copy of myself live my life. He couldn't remember these dreams because he was merely watching, and he wasn't interacting.

My eyes drifted back to him and I scowled, he was staring at me, yellow eyes unyielding, still on his side on the mirrored ground. I rubbed my arms and looked to the glass below in contempt, my reflection staring back at me, slightly blurred, and I scowled.

Thin white lines danced along my skin where they were the painful scars pf the real world, remnants of his claws and fangs. My face remained untouched since the day I first appeared here, before the abuse started.

I flinched as chillingly cold hands touched my cheeks, his left hand resting on my thigh. His appearance was slightly wavy and that was when I realized that my tears were still falling I sniffled loudly and moved to wipe them away but I was stopped by a gentle hand on mine.

“LoVeLy TeArS, sOrA… aLl MiNe… YoU cAn OnLy CrY fOr Me, DeAr LiGhT…” he whispered, kissing away my tears, “oNlY fOr Me…”

I only sniffed in reply and let him comfort me, it was the only way I could receive comfort. I was aware that my defiance was starting to wane, but I didn't care anymore… all that brought was pain…

And I couldn't take it anymore…

“My ToUcH dOeSn'T hUrT aNyMoRe , DoEs It?” He murmured at intervals as he placed feather light kisses around my face and lips.

I realized then that he was right; his skin didn't burn anymore, it was only cold. The look on my face must have been what he wanted for he smiled and continued, cool breath ghosting along my skin making me shudder.

“YoU'rE sTaRtInG tO gEt UsEd To Me… SoOn I wILl BrEaK yOu FrEe Of ThE lIgHt ThAt BiNdS yOu, AnD tIe YoU tO tHe DaRkNeSs I rEsIdE iN,” he said, pausing as he placed a hard kiss on my lips., “i WiLl BrEaK yOu UnTiL yOu ArE cLaD iN dArKnEsS; aLl HoPe HaS fAdEd,” here he grabbed a clump of spikes and viciously pulled it back, exposing my neck so I winced, “AnD yOu WiLl ReVeL iN oNlY mY tOuCh, FiNd PeAcE iN oNlY mY pReSeNcE! yOu WiLl HaVe No-OnE eLsE: i WoN't AlLoW iT!”

He bit down hard on my neck then, and a small sound escaped, half-way between a gag and a whimper as far as I could tell, but black spots soon danced across my vision as the blood spilled forth and dribbled down my arms. The blood made his hands, that were now on my arms, slip and his claws dug in, drawing even more of the crimson liquid. The extra droplets were absorbed into the floor, awakening the shades that dwelled within the mirrors.

The black spots dimmed the edges of my vision and I went limp in his grip from the blood loss. His jaws loosened and he removed his mouth, pulling back and licking his lips as he set me down gently. The warping sounds and screeches increased tenfold when the blood pooled around my body, leaking into the mirrors.

He stood and turned his back to me, whispering to the mirrors before him, claws dripping of my blood, “He'S sUcH a WoNdErFuL tOy… So SwEeT… jUsT lIkE tHe OtHeR…”

Other…?

His eyes were fixed on my reflection and I strained to keep conscious, the dawn of the new day approaching. I lay dormant while my imitation was awake.

“He HaD lOvElY bLuE eYeS… jUsT lIkE sOrA…” here he turned and walked towards me, until he stood beside me looking down, “a TeMpEr… A sHoRt OnE… tOo BaD hE tUrNeD oUt To Be NoThInG…”

I only blinked and felt the rest of my strength leave me, my time was done. The new day had dawned and I was left in the dark.

Someone please… save me from this Hell… this place of frigid nothingness… This room of mirrors…

-_-_-_-_-_-_-0.Xatti -_-_-_-_-_-_-

1) “Sore wa Himitsu Desu…” It means: “That's a secret.” Those who watch the Slayers should know what I'm talking about.

2) The Heartless insignia… if my deceptions couldn't be followed.

3) My reference was to Japanese-style cars.