Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Mating Season ❯ Coming To An End Pt. 3 ( Chapter 12 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serac 
Time for a plan.....
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.07.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
Time for a plan.....
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.07.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
-----Author’s note: Some of you have mentioned the ‘Lee’s mom’ joke, telling me that Lee is, in fact, an orphan. An oversight on my part, or something I was just poking fun at? Well, because I would not poke fun at orphans, it was clearly an oversight by me. But looking back at it, I was just vague enough that it can pass as a simple mistake on Lee’s part, and not mine. He never thought for certain ‘That’s my mom! Good God!’, so I’m saved by a loophole. No irreparable damage done! You gotta wonder if I did it on purpose or not, huh?
I am now sick, and I don’t mean that in the fun way. I mean I’m seriously sick, and feel like crap. This may or may not affect my writing speed, so if there isn’t an update in two days after this one, you know why. By the way, I am not sexist. You’ll get it, later.
I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----
“I know I was unconscious for the majority of the event but.....I’m pretty sure something pretty psychotic happened. Pretty sure.”
Two solitary male figures stood high up on a tree’s branch, looking out at the village of Konoha in the state of disaster it currently found itself in. The two were two of the desert’s finest, Gaara and Kankuro.
“Temari’s in there,” Gaara stated in a low tone, barely audible over the sound of the stampeding women, coupled with their high pitched squealing.
With a little groan that meant ‘I know she’s in there’, the puppet master sent a glance down at his brother. The gourd-toting ninja was, at the moment, decked out in countless paper seals, protecting him from Naruto’s demon’s chakra, and forcing his own personal demon into submission, bottling up any of the urges it may have as a result of the aura. He looked like he was wearing all white there were so many stuck to him.
A few seconds passed as the two watched in awe at the number of girls flooding the village. Never before had either seen so many women in one place before. The streets were clogged so bad that people could hardly even move, shoulder to shoulder, waist to waist. The unfortunate, clumsy, and the slow were trampled beneath the mobs as they mercilessly moved forward, all with that one single motivation in their minds: Get to the source of the feeling, and use it for gratuitous self-satisfaction. Repeatedly.
“If she wants to be a part of this, I say we let her. God knows I wish I was a part of this.....” Kankuro grumbled, folding his arms moodily as his eyes caught a young woman pulling her top off as she joined the fray in the streets.
“No,” Gaara spoke bluntly, his own arms folded. The Shukaku might not remember what had happened.....and he assumed that none of these women would, either, but he sure as hell remembered what that goddamn fox had made him do. He remembered pleading with the blonde girl in his own mind to keep him from doing ‘anything’, and he remembered doing said ‘anything’. Growling a little bit as he slapped on another seal just to be safe, he spoke again, “She’s our sister. Besides.....I have a score to settle.”
“What score?” Kankuro asked, still following the now topless girl with his eyes. How very forward of her.....
“You just need to know that we won’t be leaving Konoha until Naruto Uzumaki is pushing daisies. Let’s go,” Gaara jumped down from the tree, followed shortly after by his brother, who had successfully burned the image of the girl into his mind forever.
-
“Uh, Minuteman, I think we might have a problem.....”
The perverted hermit unglued his eyes from the screen containing Naruto, currently still in flight, to hop over to where Genma was pointing. On the screen before him he saw none other than Gaara of the Desert, and his puppet-wielding brother. The two leapt from a tree, and disappeared into the throbbing waves of females overtaking the village.
“This might complicate things somewhat, but I don’t think we need to worry. Did you see all of those seals on him? There’s no way that he’ll be affected by the aura,” Jiraiya assured his unwilling accomplice, returning to his spot where he could view Naruto and his eventual failing of the chastity mission. After nearly a minute of watching the screen, he turned to send an angry look at Genma, “Did you just call me a minuteman?”
-
Gai watched in horror as his pupil fled the scene, Naruto in tow. The four other ninja males did the same, leaving his eternal rival Kakashi Hatake to fend for himself under the ever growing stack of squealing women. He had missed whatever it was that Kakashi had done to distract so many women, but whatever it was, it must have been magnificent. He noted that the pile of women was rapidly increasing in amount of visible skin.
“Kakashi, don’t worry! I, Might Gai, will rescue you from the overactive libidos which threaten your very life!” Gai struck the nice guy pose, but was hit in the head with a wad of paper before he stopped giving a thumbs up to noone in particular. Catching the piece of paper before it hit the ground, he unfolded it back into a square, and read.
No! Go help Naruto! -Kakashi-
Somewhat perplexed, Gai called back out, “But my eternal rival, I must.....” He ceased talking as a second piece of paper was tossed out to him, and snatched it out of the air.
This is something I HAVE to do. Just leave, it’s too late for me. Naruto will die if he doesn’t let the Ninetailed Fox mate, meaning HE has to mate. This is all Jiraiya’s doing! -Kakashi-
“I don’t understand!” Gai shouted back to the pile of people, “This doesn’t make any sense! .....Where are you getting that paper from?” Gai watched in wonder as yet another wad of paper flew out from the mound of immorality.
Does any of this make sense? Now go! Naruto’s life rests in your hands, and the hands of his friends! .....Gai, if I don’t make it.....I want to tell you I hate you for ruining chapter eighteen for me. Good luck..... -Kakashi-
The blue beast of Konoha knew he had to leave his rival behind, now. It would ruin his ultimate sacrifice if he interfered, for one. For two, Kakashi knew that he was the person in chapter eighteen of Icha Icha Paradise! How did that happen? At any rate, he would now have enough leverage that the two events would even out.
“Good luck, my rival!” He called out, leaping after the young ninjas who were helping Naruto, “May your youthfulness see you through to the end!”
-
“Uh, Captain Whoops, I think we might have a problem.....”
The perverted hermit unglued his eyes from the screen containing Naruto, currently still in flight, to hop over to where Genma was pointing. On the screen before him he saw none other than the blue beast of Konoha take off after Naruto. The look of determination on his face wasn’t very assuring.
“This might complicate things somewhat, but I don’t think we need to worry. It’s only Gai, for God’s sake. When it comes to anything involving women, he’s a flop. Well, NOW he is. He’s past his glory days.....” Jiraiya assured his unwilling accomplice, returning to his spot where he could view Naruto and his eventual failing of the chastity mission. After nearly a minute of watching the screen, he turned to send an angry look at Genma, “Did you just call me Captain Whoops?”
-
Iruka looked around, his mind blown completely away at all of the raging women. He tried to ask them what they were doing, and even made the mistake of trying to stop one of them. He got a left hook to the jaw before he had even gotten two words out.
“Iruka-sensei!” A familiar voice called out to him.
The teacher brought his arms up to form an ‘x’ across his chest as the women in front of him were blown away into the air and every which way. Choji Akamichi, currently in the form of a gigantic ball, came crashing through the streets like a bowling ball down the lane. A lane with too many pins to count.
The genin popped back to his normal size when he approached Iruka, who grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into a hug, slapping his back, “Choji! I’m glad to see you!”
Choji returned the pat on the back, “Same here, Iruka-sensei! What’s going on? All the girls are acting crazy.....like there’s a sale on crab legs, or something.”
“I’m not sure.....” He was bumped rather hard as an elderly woman hurried by. He shivered uncontrollably, though he wasn’t sure why, “Neji and I were talking with Anko and Tenten, and for no reason they just lost it, and bolted. Now this! .....I don’t know, but it might be a mass jutsu, of some sorts......”
With a frown, Choji asked, “But then why isn’t it affecting us? Just girls. .....Do you think it’s because they’re weak-minded?”
“Choji, that’s terrible! You know very well that girls are just as smart as guys, so don’t even say that.”
“Name one invention a woman’s made.”
Iruka blinked a couple of times, women bustling by him from the front and back. He thought.....and thought.....and thought a little more.....and that was when he realized he was thinking too hard. After all, he was talking to Choji.
“If you think of any kind of food, a woman made it. There you go,” That may have very well been the most sexist thing to have ever escaped Iruka’s mouth, but it was to prove that women were not weak minded. He knew that was not true, and many of the girls he knew stood testament to that. Wait.....he should have just used one of them as an example.....
“Oh! You’re right, what was I thinking?” Choji smacked himself upside the head. As he did, he spotted a certain group of ninjas leaping from rooftop to rooftop, passing them by overhead, “Hey! That was Shikamaru!” He exclaimed, pointing up to the group.
The women in the streets suddenly changed course, as if they were following after the group of ninjas. Iruka noticed this, and rushed to follow them, “Come on, Choji! I think they know what’s going on!”
Choji groaned a little bit as waves of kunoichis passed by overhead, apparently chasing the small team of ninjas, themselves. Someone was gonna owe him dinner for this.....
-
“Uh, Quick Draw, I think we might have a problem.....”
The perverted hermit unglued his eyes from the screen containing Naruto, currently still in flight, to hop over to where Genma was pointing. On the screen before him he saw none other than Iruka and the Akamichi teen chasing after Naruto and the other fleeing ninjas.
“This might complicate things somewhat, but I don’t think we need to worry. What can a lowly academy instructor and tubby do? Not much,” Jiraiya assured his unwilling accomplice, returning to his spot where he could view Naruto and his eventual failing of the chastity mission. After nearly a minute of watching the screen, he turned to send an angry look at Genma, “Did you just call me Quick Draw?”
Genma pretended to be watching one of the screens, whistling a little bit.
“If you make one more smart-ass comment about me being a ‘you know what’, I’m gonna break your arm!” Jiraiya shouted, making damn sure that Genma knew he wasn’t playing around.
-
“You guys ready?” Shikamaru asked, flying through the air with his friends like they were hawks. Only in an ironic sort of way in that they were the ones being hunted.
“Hurry up and do it!” Kiba shouted, realizing that they were losing ground, and would be caught in a matter of seconds.
The group propelled into the air, flying up high above the village and landing on the top of the sculpture of the Fourth’s head. The female ninjas flying through the air all around them, and the common women flooding the ground of the village below them. It was a bad situation, but Shikamaru had taken everything into account based on what Lee had told him, and come up with the best plan he could with the limited time they had.
“Kage bunshin no jutsu!” Naruto shouted, hopping from Lee’s shoulders.
Shikamaru threw down a smoke bomb, setting off a blast of shadows. Immediately from out of the darkness shot five Narutos, each one accompanied by a different ninja. The five sets of pairs immediately split up, fleeing at inhuman speeds as far away as possible.
-
“What’s going on?” Jiraiya asked the screen in front of him, hardly able to believe what was happening in front of him. The women were completely dumbfounded, almost all of them stopped moving entirely.
“.....When someone uses the shadow clone jutsu, their chakra is dispensed equally among each copy. Whenever Naruto tried the shadow clones before as a means for escape, like what you told me about the hot springs, the girls were able to tell which one was the real one right away. But now that he has a thousand times his normal chakra going for him, it’s like each Naruto is two hundred times stronger than the normal, single Naruto. The girls can’t tell which way the aura is coming from, because each Naruto has so much in them it’s impossible to guess!” Genma punched a fist into his open hand, a grin breaking out onto his face.
“What? That.....what?”
“It’s ingenious, really! Shikamaru must have.....”
“I heard the plan! I got the headset, right here!” Jiraiya exclaimed, savagely poking the earphone over his ear, “But it shouldn’t be working! This isn’t what’s supposed to happen!”
“But it is!” Genma laughed, “By keeping the clone’s numbers low, a total of only five Narutos, each ninja can try and get one of them to safety.....granted, I have no idea which one is the real one, but no one else does, either! The radius of space that each Naruto will attract women at is only one mile apiece this way, too. It’s risky to split up, but they weren’t going to get anywhere without doing it! Shikamaru is a genius.....” Genma sat down right there on the floor, watching in awe as the team of guys broke apart, and fled from each other like the plague.
“Dammit!” Jiraiya shouted, stomping like an angry child who had just been told he couldn’t get that new toy he wanted, “Dammit, dammit, dammit! Dammit all to hell! This wasn’t supposed to be such a nail-biter, dammit!”
“This is the most entertaining thing I have ever witnessed,” The jounin on the floor admitted, “I can’t believe YOU set all of this up.”
“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” Jiraiya was stomping around the room, fuming. His bug had been short-circuited in the pop of Naruto splitting into multiple people, so he didn’t even have noise anymore. Things weren’t working the way they should.....
“Hey, cheer up! I’ve got good news!”
“Genma, I already told you what I would do if you-”
“I knew someone who had the same problem as you. He went to see a doctor, and the doctor gave him an air horn. So this guy-”
“I’ve already heard that joke, you ass hole! Now I have to break your arm,” Jiraiya cracked his knuckles menacingly.
“I’ll disconnect the monitors!” Genma yelped, hopping back.
“Shut it with the comments. Let’s watch.....” The perverted hermit stopped his advance on the jounin, and returned his gaze to the screens.
-
“Get them!” Tsunade shouted, taking off after one of the Narutos. Shizune and Kurenai followed after her, several members of Anbu, along with others, doing the same. Kiba was definitely going to have his hands full protecting his Naruto from that mess.....
“No way you’re gonna get away!” Tenten shouted, speeding after her own Naruto. Anko wasn’t going to let her ‘little sister’ go hunting alone, however, and was quick to follow after her in pursuit of her prey. Neji was going to need to dig deep to keep his ward safe.
“Don’t run, Naruto-kun!” Sakura shouted, chasing her own Naruto of choice at top speed.
“We want to love you!” Ino called out, only a step behind her pink-haired friend. Lee was gonna have to get his hands dirty to shield his friend from this twosome, and he knew it.
“The chase just makes me want you more, baby!” Hinata squealed, her fists up to her chin as she blushed furiously. Shino felt his ears heat up when he realized she was chasing them. .....Along with several members of Anbu. This was crunch time, and he planned on coming out on top.
“Shika-kun, you bring Naruto-kun to me and I’ll make it worth BOTH of your time!” Temari called after the two she was chasing. The chuunin forced a grin, but didn’t say anything in reply, or even turn to look at who else was chasing him. His plan had worked, and that was all he needed to know, right then. He was currently wondering how to finish, because he knew what would happen if Naruto didn’t get a ‘release’ for his chakra.
Jiraiya, based on what he had heard from Lee, must have used the white honey pill on the unsuspecting blonde to increase his chakra by just about a thousand times. There was no way that he could survive that kind of power without getting it all out, and utilizing the mating aura was the only way Jiraiya guessed Naruto could do so. It was bad because Shikamaru was feeling that exact same way, having seen the two demons in the sky, himself. But did that mean that he had to let Naruto.....but.....Temari was chasing them! Ugh, maybe he didn’t have the real one.....
“Naruto, are you the REAL Naruto?” He ventured to ask as loudly as he could without being overheard. They leapt over a particularly large street, hitting the ground running on top of yet another roof. They needed to get out of the village. That was yet another part of the plan.
“I can’t tell!” Naruto yelled in response, not worried at all about being heard.
-
“You’ve gotta be able to tell!” Kiba shouted, weaving his way through the forests like a dog being chased by.....well, a much, MUCH bigger dog.
“It’s not my fault!” Naruto number two exclaimed, pumping hard as he ran like the wind.
-
“Don’t give me any of that! This is all your fault!” Neji practically screamed, diving forward and off the side of the building he and his Naruto were on, the blonde right behind. Tenten’s weapons sped by above them as they plummeted down into the river of women in the streets below.
“HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?” Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs, clenching his eyes shut as they fell towards the ladies.
-
“You should have come to us sooner,” Shino stated, only just loud enough that Naruto could hear him, “Before things got this bad.”
Naruto number four jumped while still running, barely avoiding several kunais aimed at his legs as he did, “Hinata! You’re going to kill me!” He began to panic.
“I’m just trying to slow you down, Naruto-kun, don’t worry!” Hinata replied, slapping on an exploding tag to a kunai as she continued to give chase.
“Oh my God, somebody help me!”
-
“Don’t worry Naruto, I will help you get through this!” Lee assured his blonde friend, wishing he could slow down enough to flash the nice guy pose. Given that Sakura was only about five steps behind, though, and Ino not much more, that seemed like a bad idea.
“I need something better than you!” Naruto number five shouted, tears streaming from his eyes in a rather comical manner as he sprinted for his celibacy’s life.
“Don’t worry, you have youth on your side!” Instinct kicked in, and Lee couldn’t help but give a thumbs up and a shiny smile.
Naruto, still running at top speed, grabbed Lee by the head and spun, running backwards while holding his friend up before him. The light reflecting from Lee’s teeth was so powerful, that it practically burned the kunoichi’s retinas out. Sakura and Ino both came to a crashing stop, clutching their eyes in pain. By the time they got back up, about four seconds, Naruto and Lee were already several hundred yards ahead.
“Come on!” Ino growled, grabbing Sakura by the wrist and tearing off after her desire.
-
“And Gaara, Kankuro, Iruka, Choji, and Gai are all following them, too. I have no idea how this is going to play out.....” Genma spoke softly, watching in awe as Shino somehow managed to avoid an exploding kunai that should have left him without a head.
“Good thing I’m recording all of this,” Jiraiya stated, nodding a little bit, “.....Damn, look at that.....But not the face!”
Genma tilted his head to the side a little bit, “Well, looks like Kakashi is definitely buying them some time.....”
“Lucky bastard.”
-----Author’s other note: The ending has never been as up in the air as it is now. Like I said before, I feel like crap, so forgive me if the next update comes a little slower than I said it would. Winter doesn’t do it for me.....Thanks for reading.....-----
I am now sick, and I don’t mean that in the fun way. I mean I’m seriously sick, and feel like crap. This may or may not affect my writing speed, so if there isn’t an update in two days after this one, you know why. By the way, I am not sexist. You’ll get it, later.
I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----
“I know I was unconscious for the majority of the event but.....I’m pretty sure something pretty psychotic happened. Pretty sure.”
Two solitary male figures stood high up on a tree’s branch, looking out at the village of Konoha in the state of disaster it currently found itself in. The two were two of the desert’s finest, Gaara and Kankuro.
“Temari’s in there,” Gaara stated in a low tone, barely audible over the sound of the stampeding women, coupled with their high pitched squealing.
With a little groan that meant ‘I know she’s in there’, the puppet master sent a glance down at his brother. The gourd-toting ninja was, at the moment, decked out in countless paper seals, protecting him from Naruto’s demon’s chakra, and forcing his own personal demon into submission, bottling up any of the urges it may have as a result of the aura. He looked like he was wearing all white there were so many stuck to him.
A few seconds passed as the two watched in awe at the number of girls flooding the village. Never before had either seen so many women in one place before. The streets were clogged so bad that people could hardly even move, shoulder to shoulder, waist to waist. The unfortunate, clumsy, and the slow were trampled beneath the mobs as they mercilessly moved forward, all with that one single motivation in their minds: Get to the source of the feeling, and use it for gratuitous self-satisfaction. Repeatedly.
“If she wants to be a part of this, I say we let her. God knows I wish I was a part of this.....” Kankuro grumbled, folding his arms moodily as his eyes caught a young woman pulling her top off as she joined the fray in the streets.
“No,” Gaara spoke bluntly, his own arms folded. The Shukaku might not remember what had happened.....and he assumed that none of these women would, either, but he sure as hell remembered what that goddamn fox had made him do. He remembered pleading with the blonde girl in his own mind to keep him from doing ‘anything’, and he remembered doing said ‘anything’. Growling a little bit as he slapped on another seal just to be safe, he spoke again, “She’s our sister. Besides.....I have a score to settle.”
“What score?” Kankuro asked, still following the now topless girl with his eyes. How very forward of her.....
“You just need to know that we won’t be leaving Konoha until Naruto Uzumaki is pushing daisies. Let’s go,” Gaara jumped down from the tree, followed shortly after by his brother, who had successfully burned the image of the girl into his mind forever.
-
“Uh, Minuteman, I think we might have a problem.....”
The perverted hermit unglued his eyes from the screen containing Naruto, currently still in flight, to hop over to where Genma was pointing. On the screen before him he saw none other than Gaara of the Desert, and his puppet-wielding brother. The two leapt from a tree, and disappeared into the throbbing waves of females overtaking the village.
“This might complicate things somewhat, but I don’t think we need to worry. Did you see all of those seals on him? There’s no way that he’ll be affected by the aura,” Jiraiya assured his unwilling accomplice, returning to his spot where he could view Naruto and his eventual failing of the chastity mission. After nearly a minute of watching the screen, he turned to send an angry look at Genma, “Did you just call me a minuteman?”
-
Gai watched in horror as his pupil fled the scene, Naruto in tow. The four other ninja males did the same, leaving his eternal rival Kakashi Hatake to fend for himself under the ever growing stack of squealing women. He had missed whatever it was that Kakashi had done to distract so many women, but whatever it was, it must have been magnificent. He noted that the pile of women was rapidly increasing in amount of visible skin.
“Kakashi, don’t worry! I, Might Gai, will rescue you from the overactive libidos which threaten your very life!” Gai struck the nice guy pose, but was hit in the head with a wad of paper before he stopped giving a thumbs up to noone in particular. Catching the piece of paper before it hit the ground, he unfolded it back into a square, and read.
No! Go help Naruto! -Kakashi-
Somewhat perplexed, Gai called back out, “But my eternal rival, I must.....” He ceased talking as a second piece of paper was tossed out to him, and snatched it out of the air.
This is something I HAVE to do. Just leave, it’s too late for me. Naruto will die if he doesn’t let the Ninetailed Fox mate, meaning HE has to mate. This is all Jiraiya’s doing! -Kakashi-
“I don’t understand!” Gai shouted back to the pile of people, “This doesn’t make any sense! .....Where are you getting that paper from?” Gai watched in wonder as yet another wad of paper flew out from the mound of immorality.
Does any of this make sense? Now go! Naruto’s life rests in your hands, and the hands of his friends! .....Gai, if I don’t make it.....I want to tell you I hate you for ruining chapter eighteen for me. Good luck..... -Kakashi-
The blue beast of Konoha knew he had to leave his rival behind, now. It would ruin his ultimate sacrifice if he interfered, for one. For two, Kakashi knew that he was the person in chapter eighteen of Icha Icha Paradise! How did that happen? At any rate, he would now have enough leverage that the two events would even out.
“Good luck, my rival!” He called out, leaping after the young ninjas who were helping Naruto, “May your youthfulness see you through to the end!”
-
“Uh, Captain Whoops, I think we might have a problem.....”
The perverted hermit unglued his eyes from the screen containing Naruto, currently still in flight, to hop over to where Genma was pointing. On the screen before him he saw none other than the blue beast of Konoha take off after Naruto. The look of determination on his face wasn’t very assuring.
“This might complicate things somewhat, but I don’t think we need to worry. It’s only Gai, for God’s sake. When it comes to anything involving women, he’s a flop. Well, NOW he is. He’s past his glory days.....” Jiraiya assured his unwilling accomplice, returning to his spot where he could view Naruto and his eventual failing of the chastity mission. After nearly a minute of watching the screen, he turned to send an angry look at Genma, “Did you just call me Captain Whoops?”
-
Iruka looked around, his mind blown completely away at all of the raging women. He tried to ask them what they were doing, and even made the mistake of trying to stop one of them. He got a left hook to the jaw before he had even gotten two words out.
“Iruka-sensei!” A familiar voice called out to him.
The teacher brought his arms up to form an ‘x’ across his chest as the women in front of him were blown away into the air and every which way. Choji Akamichi, currently in the form of a gigantic ball, came crashing through the streets like a bowling ball down the lane. A lane with too many pins to count.
The genin popped back to his normal size when he approached Iruka, who grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into a hug, slapping his back, “Choji! I’m glad to see you!”
Choji returned the pat on the back, “Same here, Iruka-sensei! What’s going on? All the girls are acting crazy.....like there’s a sale on crab legs, or something.”
“I’m not sure.....” He was bumped rather hard as an elderly woman hurried by. He shivered uncontrollably, though he wasn’t sure why, “Neji and I were talking with Anko and Tenten, and for no reason they just lost it, and bolted. Now this! .....I don’t know, but it might be a mass jutsu, of some sorts......”
With a frown, Choji asked, “But then why isn’t it affecting us? Just girls. .....Do you think it’s because they’re weak-minded?”
“Choji, that’s terrible! You know very well that girls are just as smart as guys, so don’t even say that.”
“Name one invention a woman’s made.”
Iruka blinked a couple of times, women bustling by him from the front and back. He thought.....and thought.....and thought a little more.....and that was when he realized he was thinking too hard. After all, he was talking to Choji.
“If you think of any kind of food, a woman made it. There you go,” That may have very well been the most sexist thing to have ever escaped Iruka’s mouth, but it was to prove that women were not weak minded. He knew that was not true, and many of the girls he knew stood testament to that. Wait.....he should have just used one of them as an example.....
“Oh! You’re right, what was I thinking?” Choji smacked himself upside the head. As he did, he spotted a certain group of ninjas leaping from rooftop to rooftop, passing them by overhead, “Hey! That was Shikamaru!” He exclaimed, pointing up to the group.
The women in the streets suddenly changed course, as if they were following after the group of ninjas. Iruka noticed this, and rushed to follow them, “Come on, Choji! I think they know what’s going on!”
Choji groaned a little bit as waves of kunoichis passed by overhead, apparently chasing the small team of ninjas, themselves. Someone was gonna owe him dinner for this.....
-
“Uh, Quick Draw, I think we might have a problem.....”
The perverted hermit unglued his eyes from the screen containing Naruto, currently still in flight, to hop over to where Genma was pointing. On the screen before him he saw none other than Iruka and the Akamichi teen chasing after Naruto and the other fleeing ninjas.
“This might complicate things somewhat, but I don’t think we need to worry. What can a lowly academy instructor and tubby do? Not much,” Jiraiya assured his unwilling accomplice, returning to his spot where he could view Naruto and his eventual failing of the chastity mission. After nearly a minute of watching the screen, he turned to send an angry look at Genma, “Did you just call me Quick Draw?”
Genma pretended to be watching one of the screens, whistling a little bit.
“If you make one more smart-ass comment about me being a ‘you know what’, I’m gonna break your arm!” Jiraiya shouted, making damn sure that Genma knew he wasn’t playing around.
-
“You guys ready?” Shikamaru asked, flying through the air with his friends like they were hawks. Only in an ironic sort of way in that they were the ones being hunted.
“Hurry up and do it!” Kiba shouted, realizing that they were losing ground, and would be caught in a matter of seconds.
The group propelled into the air, flying up high above the village and landing on the top of the sculpture of the Fourth’s head. The female ninjas flying through the air all around them, and the common women flooding the ground of the village below them. It was a bad situation, but Shikamaru had taken everything into account based on what Lee had told him, and come up with the best plan he could with the limited time they had.
“Kage bunshin no jutsu!” Naruto shouted, hopping from Lee’s shoulders.
Shikamaru threw down a smoke bomb, setting off a blast of shadows. Immediately from out of the darkness shot five Narutos, each one accompanied by a different ninja. The five sets of pairs immediately split up, fleeing at inhuman speeds as far away as possible.
-
“What’s going on?” Jiraiya asked the screen in front of him, hardly able to believe what was happening in front of him. The women were completely dumbfounded, almost all of them stopped moving entirely.
“.....When someone uses the shadow clone jutsu, their chakra is dispensed equally among each copy. Whenever Naruto tried the shadow clones before as a means for escape, like what you told me about the hot springs, the girls were able to tell which one was the real one right away. But now that he has a thousand times his normal chakra going for him, it’s like each Naruto is two hundred times stronger than the normal, single Naruto. The girls can’t tell which way the aura is coming from, because each Naruto has so much in them it’s impossible to guess!” Genma punched a fist into his open hand, a grin breaking out onto his face.
“What? That.....what?”
“It’s ingenious, really! Shikamaru must have.....”
“I heard the plan! I got the headset, right here!” Jiraiya exclaimed, savagely poking the earphone over his ear, “But it shouldn’t be working! This isn’t what’s supposed to happen!”
“But it is!” Genma laughed, “By keeping the clone’s numbers low, a total of only five Narutos, each ninja can try and get one of them to safety.....granted, I have no idea which one is the real one, but no one else does, either! The radius of space that each Naruto will attract women at is only one mile apiece this way, too. It’s risky to split up, but they weren’t going to get anywhere without doing it! Shikamaru is a genius.....” Genma sat down right there on the floor, watching in awe as the team of guys broke apart, and fled from each other like the plague.
“Dammit!” Jiraiya shouted, stomping like an angry child who had just been told he couldn’t get that new toy he wanted, “Dammit, dammit, dammit! Dammit all to hell! This wasn’t supposed to be such a nail-biter, dammit!”
“This is the most entertaining thing I have ever witnessed,” The jounin on the floor admitted, “I can’t believe YOU set all of this up.”
“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” Jiraiya was stomping around the room, fuming. His bug had been short-circuited in the pop of Naruto splitting into multiple people, so he didn’t even have noise anymore. Things weren’t working the way they should.....
“Hey, cheer up! I’ve got good news!”
“Genma, I already told you what I would do if you-”
“I knew someone who had the same problem as you. He went to see a doctor, and the doctor gave him an air horn. So this guy-”
“I’ve already heard that joke, you ass hole! Now I have to break your arm,” Jiraiya cracked his knuckles menacingly.
“I’ll disconnect the monitors!” Genma yelped, hopping back.
“Shut it with the comments. Let’s watch.....” The perverted hermit stopped his advance on the jounin, and returned his gaze to the screens.
-
“Get them!” Tsunade shouted, taking off after one of the Narutos. Shizune and Kurenai followed after her, several members of Anbu, along with others, doing the same. Kiba was definitely going to have his hands full protecting his Naruto from that mess.....
“No way you’re gonna get away!” Tenten shouted, speeding after her own Naruto. Anko wasn’t going to let her ‘little sister’ go hunting alone, however, and was quick to follow after her in pursuit of her prey. Neji was going to need to dig deep to keep his ward safe.
“Don’t run, Naruto-kun!” Sakura shouted, chasing her own Naruto of choice at top speed.
“We want to love you!” Ino called out, only a step behind her pink-haired friend. Lee was gonna have to get his hands dirty to shield his friend from this twosome, and he knew it.
“The chase just makes me want you more, baby!” Hinata squealed, her fists up to her chin as she blushed furiously. Shino felt his ears heat up when he realized she was chasing them. .....Along with several members of Anbu. This was crunch time, and he planned on coming out on top.
“Shika-kun, you bring Naruto-kun to me and I’ll make it worth BOTH of your time!” Temari called after the two she was chasing. The chuunin forced a grin, but didn’t say anything in reply, or even turn to look at who else was chasing him. His plan had worked, and that was all he needed to know, right then. He was currently wondering how to finish, because he knew what would happen if Naruto didn’t get a ‘release’ for his chakra.
Jiraiya, based on what he had heard from Lee, must have used the white honey pill on the unsuspecting blonde to increase his chakra by just about a thousand times. There was no way that he could survive that kind of power without getting it all out, and utilizing the mating aura was the only way Jiraiya guessed Naruto could do so. It was bad because Shikamaru was feeling that exact same way, having seen the two demons in the sky, himself. But did that mean that he had to let Naruto.....but.....Temari was chasing them! Ugh, maybe he didn’t have the real one.....
“Naruto, are you the REAL Naruto?” He ventured to ask as loudly as he could without being overheard. They leapt over a particularly large street, hitting the ground running on top of yet another roof. They needed to get out of the village. That was yet another part of the plan.
“I can’t tell!” Naruto yelled in response, not worried at all about being heard.
-
“You’ve gotta be able to tell!” Kiba shouted, weaving his way through the forests like a dog being chased by.....well, a much, MUCH bigger dog.
“It’s not my fault!” Naruto number two exclaimed, pumping hard as he ran like the wind.
-
“Don’t give me any of that! This is all your fault!” Neji practically screamed, diving forward and off the side of the building he and his Naruto were on, the blonde right behind. Tenten’s weapons sped by above them as they plummeted down into the river of women in the streets below.
“HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?” Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs, clenching his eyes shut as they fell towards the ladies.
-
“You should have come to us sooner,” Shino stated, only just loud enough that Naruto could hear him, “Before things got this bad.”
Naruto number four jumped while still running, barely avoiding several kunais aimed at his legs as he did, “Hinata! You’re going to kill me!” He began to panic.
“I’m just trying to slow you down, Naruto-kun, don’t worry!” Hinata replied, slapping on an exploding tag to a kunai as she continued to give chase.
“Oh my God, somebody help me!”
-
“Don’t worry Naruto, I will help you get through this!” Lee assured his blonde friend, wishing he could slow down enough to flash the nice guy pose. Given that Sakura was only about five steps behind, though, and Ino not much more, that seemed like a bad idea.
“I need something better than you!” Naruto number five shouted, tears streaming from his eyes in a rather comical manner as he sprinted for his celibacy’s life.
“Don’t worry, you have youth on your side!” Instinct kicked in, and Lee couldn’t help but give a thumbs up and a shiny smile.
Naruto, still running at top speed, grabbed Lee by the head and spun, running backwards while holding his friend up before him. The light reflecting from Lee’s teeth was so powerful, that it practically burned the kunoichi’s retinas out. Sakura and Ino both came to a crashing stop, clutching their eyes in pain. By the time they got back up, about four seconds, Naruto and Lee were already several hundred yards ahead.
“Come on!” Ino growled, grabbing Sakura by the wrist and tearing off after her desire.
-
“And Gaara, Kankuro, Iruka, Choji, and Gai are all following them, too. I have no idea how this is going to play out.....” Genma spoke softly, watching in awe as Shino somehow managed to avoid an exploding kunai that should have left him without a head.
“Good thing I’m recording all of this,” Jiraiya stated, nodding a little bit, “.....Damn, look at that.....But not the face!”
Genma tilted his head to the side a little bit, “Well, looks like Kakashi is definitely buying them some time.....”
“Lucky bastard.”
-----Author’s other note: The ending has never been as up in the air as it is now. Like I said before, I feel like crap, so forgive me if the next update comes a little slower than I said it would. Winter doesn’t do it for me.....Thanks for reading.....-----