Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ O.R. ❯ Pilot Episode ( Chapter 1 )

WARNINGS: (1) None of the authors have ever or ever will be studying medical science. All medical aspects of this fiction are based entirely on the authors' half-assed research and bullshitting. Input in this matter is very much welcomed, but flames are futile. (2) In the instances where you find the crack lame, the authors' suggest you laugh at the authors' lameness instead -- like the authors did when writing said lame crack. (3) The risk of sudden, random exposures to 80s rock songs in this fic is high, precaution is recommended. (4) References to classic movie and/or TV moments are not indicative towards the authors' age.

 

Thank you so much to our beta bloodhill. We couldn't have done it without you.

 

 

 

O.R.

 

Pilot Episode

 

-----------------------------------------

 

“I'm sorry, Naruto,” Kushina croaked as she spoke between her last breaths, the cancer in her pancreas eating her away. “I don't think I'll be able to see you through your fight to become the greatest plastic surgeon in the world.”

 

Tears glimmered in bright blue eyes. “Don't say that, mom. You'll be there nagging me until I'm the oldest plastic surgeon in the world.”

 

The dying woman snorted. “Just because you've become a full-fledged M.D. doesn't mean you can lie to me about my condition, you brat. I know I don't have much time left, and it's not like I'm sad about it or anything. You shouldn't be sad about it either. We both know you have more to worry about than your dead mother.”

 

“Mom!”

 

“What?”

 

“Stop saying things like that,” Naruto started sobbing. “It's freaking me out.”

 

“Shut up, brat, and grow up. I'm about to die.”

 

Naruto bawled louder.

 

“Stop crying! You're twenty seven, for God's sake. Just promise me…” a barrage of coughing stopped her, “…promise me…”

 

“Name it,” the blonde let out between hic-ups as he grabbed his mother's slack hand. “You know I never break a promise. You name it, I'll do it.”

 

“Promise me you'll continue your studies even though I won't be there to give you some ass-whooping whenever you slack off or feel stupid.”

 

“I promise. I'll give myself some ass-whooping whenever I get stupid.”

 

“Good. Don't forget what I've been telling you. That famous doctor… that Minato Namikaze… you have to surpass him.”

 

“I will.”

 

“You'll become a greater plastic surgeon than him… Promise me.”

 

“Um… I can't be a gynecologist instead? Or an urologist? I mean, plastic surgery's kinda hard and-”

 

“Naruto!”

 

“Okay, okay. I promise. Geez, don't get your panties in a knot, woman!”

 

“Good.”

 

And with that, Kushina Uzumaki took her last breath with an assured smile.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

Sakura Haruno, M.D. sat in her apartment, holding a picture of her and her two best friends since med school. She had just finished her internship and tomorrow she would be going to a different wing of Konoha University Hospital. Tomorrow, she would enter the building as a surgery resident. It would be hard, she knew that. In fact, she knew it would probably be better for her to apply for residency in internal medicine.

 

But she would do anything to be with the man she loved.

 

Her dreamy sigh filled the silence, “Sasuke…”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

“What's that? Your internship is finished? Oh, that's great. What residency did you apply to back in med school? Or are you going to open your own practice?”

 

“I applied for a residency in neurosurgery, dad. I told you that when I applied two years ago.”

 

“You did? I forgot. So, you're going to become a neurosurgeon, too, huh? That's great, especially since you'll have Itachi there helping you out.”

 

The rest of the conversation didn't register in Sasuke's mind, so it didn't come back to him now that he was brooding alone in the quiet night.

 

It was always like that. Itachi was a prodigy. Itachi was smarter, stronger, faster. Itachi this, Itachi that. And somewhere along the line, Sasuke was sick of hearing about how great his older brother was.

 

“I swear,” he gritted out in to the cold night, clenching both his fists. “I swear I'll be better, bigger than Itachi. I'll show you, Fugaku Uchiha, M.D., the best neurosurgeon in the world, that your name will be carried on not by your first son but by your second one. As God as my witness, I SWEAR IT!!!”

 

Lightning crashed as though the starless sky itself bore witness to Sasuke Uchiha's oath. He closed his eyes in determination as small drops of rain started to fall. Nothing could stop him from proving himself. Nothing!

 

“Sasukeeee!”

 

The window creaked as Mikoto Uchiha tried to look outside and up from inside the kitchen.

 

“Sasuke?! Are you up on the roof again?! Come inside, honey, it's raining!”

 

“Hn.”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

“What do you think?” Temari asked as she twirled in front of the mirror.

 

Ten Ten nearly choked. The black, plunging-neckline blouse showed more than enough cleavage than legally allowed. The grey pencil skirt looked more like painted on instead of worn, and to say Temari's hips looked damn sexy in it would be an understatement.

 

“Are you out of your mind?!”

 

Temari looked at her innocently. “What? I look good, right?”

 

“Too good. You want those kids to respect you, not drool all over you.”

 

“Hm… You're right. Wait, I'll try some other stuff.”

 

“Since when do you care so much about what you wear to work?” Ten Ten huffed. “You'll be wearing scrubs all day anyway. And a funny scrub cap, too.”

 

“Yeah, but I'll be briefing those first year residents as Chief tomorrow before giving them their assigned scrubs and scrub caps. I want to look good.”

 

“Why you would want to look good in front of a bunch of your juniors is beyond me.”

 

“Jealous?”

 

“Why would I? I got handsome surgeons and patients flirt with me everyday.”

 

“One of the perks of being a nurse, huh?”

 

“O.R. nurse.”

 

“Fine, fine. O.R. nurse,” Temari sighed before twirling again. “Now what do you think?”

 

Ten Ten perused the lavender bow collar blouse and purple kick pleat skirt that reached down to half her calves… and laughed.

 

“Where are you going, granny? Do you need me to help you cross the street?”

 

Temari groaned. “Damn it! This isn't working… what are you doing?”

 

“Helping you prepare the funny scrub caps. Hawaiian prints. You like?”

 

“Heheheh… those rookies have no idea what they're getting into.”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

“Father…”

 

The wind was blowing softly, playing with soft strands of long dark hair. It was somewhat eerie to be standing alone in a cemetery on a late evening, but Neji was used to it. He'd been doing it every year ever since he was allowed to venture out alone at night and had his own car.

 

“I'm in my second year now. Soon I'll be spending more time working and assisting in the O.R., and I'll have to study even harder so I can be accepted in Cardiothoracic Surgery like I've promised you.”

 

The gravestone in front of him remained silent, but Neji didn't care. It wasn't like he was expecting any answer. He was melodramatic, not delusional.

 

“I don't have many stories tonight. I'm still being worked to death by my superiors. Uncle Hiashi is being supportive as usual. Hinata and Hanabi are fine. Hm… let's see. I, um, I have a… a crush, sort of. I don't know who he is. I don't even know his name. All I know is that I sometimes see him around, in the surgical wing, with that funny-looking ponytail of his… that makes his head looks like a pineapple. He seems to be my age, so maybe he's also a resident but in a different department. Um…”

 

The wind was staring to get cold. Good thing he was wearing a thick coat. Neji didn't know how he could feel embarrassed talking to a grave, but he did. He felt like a fifteen-year-old girl, but a morbid one. That wasn't exactly reassuring.

 

“Anyway, that's not important. I care more about my studies than some guy. Oh, and I heard the nurses gossip the other day, about this genius surgeon called doctor Nara. Apparently, every year, the department heads in Konoha would send him residency or fellowship offers and he always turns all of them down. And from what they were saying, doctor Tsunade -- that's the head of Cardiothoracic -- is the most adamant. I've never seen him, but if I ever do, I think I want to give him a piece of my mind. They said he's been a general surgeon for five years; a very, very good one, but he's too lazy to go further. What kind of a self-centered old bastard is he? Doesn't he have any idea how hard it is for other people? Doesn't he realize how many lives he could've saved as a cardio surgeon?”

 

Neji realized that he was starting to rant, and ranting to a grave was never a good sign of sanity. He was a doctor, so he knew that for a fact.

 

“Four more years -- including this one -- in general surgery residency and, if they accept me, another two years in cardiothoracic residency, and I'll be a full-fledged cardio surgeon. I swear to you again, Father. I'll be the best cardio surgeon there is. No more children will suffer as I have and-”

 

“Excuse me.”

 

Neji whipped around, somewhat embarrassed that someone had heard his over-dramatic statements. This could be bad for his “cool, calm and collected” image. He narrowed his eyes as he saw an old man in tattered dungarees, desperately hoping the old cemetery grounds keeper would be intimidated enough to not say anything about this to anyone.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt your private moment, but I really, really want to lock up for the night. So, uh… could you…?”

 

“Hn.”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

“Yosh!!! Doctor Maito, now that I'm a resident in Clinical Urology, I'm ever-so-closer to fulfilling my dream of following your footstep!”

 

Lee's super-loud and full of spirit voice rang all the way to the first floor where Mrs. Rock and her fellow old ladies were playing mahjong.

 

“Using all the strength of the springtime of youth in this body, I promise you, doctor Maito, that I'm going to be the best resident you've ever had!”

 

Tears were starting to slide down Lee Rock, M.D.'s cheeks as out of nowhere a grandiose view of sunset emerged -- even though it was in the middle of the night -- and basked him in its ethereal glow…

 

BANG! BANG! BANG!

 

“SHUT UP!!! We're trying to play down here!”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

It was much worse than Kiba thought it would be.

 

Of course he realized that his mother was going to get mad. Ever since he enrolled in medical school five years ago instead of veterinary school, Tsume Inuzuka -- the owner and Director of Konoha Veterinary Hospital -- was already in an angry state. But the spiky-haired doctor never thought that his mother was going to be this furious when he told her that he was accepted in Surgical Residency Program of Konoha University Hospital.

 

“Didn't I give you enough time to play, Kiba?” asked Tsume as she pinned down her only son with her deathly glare. “Four years of college, four years of medical school, not to mention one year of internship. Nine years is more than enough!”

 

“Play? I wasn't playing! I was busting my ass out to become an M.D.!” Kiba shouted and glared back at his mother.

 

“It might be true, but this hospital doesn't need an M.D. So, why don't you prepare yourself to enroll in Konoha Veterinary College instead of more fooling around by attending the surgical residency.”

 

“Veterinary school? Mom, you gotta be kidding me!

 

“I'm dead serious, Kiba. You will go to K.V.C. to get your D.V.M., and then you'll come to work here with me and Hana.”

 

“Mom, you know that I've always wanted to be a surgeon. Besides, I'm already halfway there and-”

 

“Enough!” yelled Tsume as she slammed the big desk in front of her, silencing the young M.D. “You have an obligation as an Inuzuka. Be a real man and fulfill it!”

 

Kiba took a deep breath before answering, preparing himself for the worst. “I'm so sorry, mom, but I can't. I've never wanted to be a veterinarian. I want to be a surgeon.”

 

“Then you're not my son anymore.”

 

“Mom!” Kiba's eyes were starting to get wet. It couldn't be this bad. It just couldn't!

 

“Give me your wallet.”

 

“Mom…?”

 

“Your wallet, Kiba.”

 

Kiba took his black leather wallet out of his back pocket and handed it to Tsume who instantly opened it and took out all of Kiba's credit cards. Afterwards, she grabbed a scissor and cut all the cards in half, making Kiba who was trying so hard not to cry gasped.

 

However, Kiba's misery was not over yet.

 

“You have five minutes to say goodbye to Akamaru.”

 

“W-w-what?” stuttered Kiba. He clearly didn't see this one coming. “Mom, at least let me keep Akamaru.”

 

“No. You don't deserve Akamaru.”

 

Kiba couldn't hold his tears in any longer. Dropping to his knees, Kiba grabbed Akamaru who was sitting near his leg all along, hugged him tightly and cried in to the soft, white fur while the giant dog who had been his best friend since he was twelve started to howl and whimper.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

“I'm so happy!” Ino gushed. “We're finally catching up to Shikamaru!”

 

“Yep,” Chouji garbled while chewing his chips. “But we still can't hang out together or anything. Sure we'll be in the same wing, but we're only first year residents. He's a surgeon.”

 

“So what? I'm sure he'll help us with our studies. He always does… at least, until he went away to med school when we were twelve, followed by internship and residency… and then, of course, busy being a real surgeon when we were still stuck in college…”

 

Chouji smiled knowingly. “Yeah. I miss him too.”

 

Ino went quiet for a while before finally slapping Chouji's back with a bright smile. “Hey, you think he'll make our papers for us?”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

Sai looked up from the canvas when he heard knocking on the door. Knowing who it was and far too engrossed in his latest project, he opted to just say, “Come in.”

 

Danzo Root, formerly one of the best surgical oncologists the world had ever known, opened the door and walked towards his son, his shaky hand holding a piece of paper.

 

“I saw this pinned on the refrigerator,” he said with a bright smile.

 

Sai took his eyes away from his half-done painting to look at the paper. It was his new schedule. Since he'll be working as a resident in the Surgery Department starting tomorrow, his hours would change and everyone in the house should know. `Everyone' meaning his sick father, his father's nurse Esther and the maid.

 

Returning the smile, he said, “I'll be very busy from now on, Esther should know where to contact me if anything happens.”

 

“I noticed they don't make you work one hundred hours a week anymore. Kids these days… They have it so easy.”

 

“Eighty hours a week, with thirty of them spent in clinic duty, plus being on-call every three nights,” Sai chuckled. “I really wouldn't call that `easy'. And for minimum-wage salary, too.”

 

Danzo scoffed playfully, “Hmph. That's nothing compared to what I have to go through back in the day.”

 

“Sure, dad.”

 

“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't worry about me too much. I don't mind losing you to crazy hours in the hospital. In fact, I couldn't be happier.”

 

“I know, dad. I'm happy too.”

 

“Good,” said Danzo as he turned to leave. “I'll leave you to your hobby then.”

 

Sai's perfect smile disappeared the moment his father closed the door behind him. He didn't know when he had actually had smiling down to a science. He remembered it used to be hard, though he no longer could recall when it had been hard. Now his whole feature could turn into a smile in command with no effort at all.

 

Staring blankly at the canvas, Sai reminded himself that he could be happy if he wanted to. Maybe not as happy as his father, but at least he could really smile. His father never wanted to get Parkinson's disease and end his illustrious career long before he should have, but now he was happy just for the fact that his son was getting closer to continuing the Root name. Sai never wanted to become a doctor much less a surgeon, but now he should be happy just for the fact that his father was happy for him.

 

Glancing at the drawer where he kept all those letters of scholarship offer from all those prestigious art schools all those years ago, Sai could only sigh.

 

“Easier said than done.”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

Whiiiirrrr…

 

Gaara let his hands work on the clay spinning in front of him while his mind wandered. His conversation with his grandmother nine years ago came to him.

 

“I know you're angry with me now, boy, but I assure you, one day you'll thank me.”

 

“Hn.”

 

“Konoha is the best medical school. Their learning hospital is one of the best in the world. And there you'll be with your brother and sister again… not that you'd care. You three have never been close, after all.”

 

“Hn.”

 

“Just you see. Temari was also mad as hell at me for making her do this, but she's all fine and dandy now.”

 

“Hn.”

 

“Fine. Be that way. Just remember, you'll thank me. Now go and be a famous surgeon before coming back here to Suna and work in your family's hospital. Oh, and I've thrown away all those art school scholarship offers scattered on your desk. No need to thank me, dear, but once you're on your own you'll have to start taking care of yourself, like doing your laundry and taking out your trash.”

 

As the clay in his hands started to take shape, Gaara wondered why after this whole nine years of college, med school and internship, he still had no idea why he would thank his grandmother.

 

Whiiiirrrr…

 

-----------------------------------------

 

Silence.

 

That was all Shino Aburame was going to get every time he went to his parents' house, and this time it wouldn't be any different.

 

His father, the well-known entomologist Shibi Aburame, was so disappointed with him when he chose medical school over Konoha Department of Entomology Faculty. And the scar was deep. The quiet man didn't exactly disowned Shino. He was still willing to pay for his son's tuition fee and everything else, but he refused to talk to his only child ever since.

 

“Father, I just wanted to let you know that I've finished my internship. I'm a full-fledged M.D. now.”

 

Silence.

 

“I also wanted to tell you that starting tomorrow, I'll be studying general surgery at Konoha University Hospital.”

 

Silence.

 

“I guess that's it. I better go back to my apartment now. Take care, Father.”

 

Silence.

 

When Shino was about to close the door behind him, ready to leave his father's house, he slightly heard buzzing from the room.

 

Great. Even the bugs give me the silent treatment now.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

“Bye, Sister Helen, Father Maxwell!” Haku shouted happily as he waved.

 

The two servants of God waved back with a loving smile. The young man had worked so hard, trying to get the best education solely on scholarships. Now he was officially an M.D. and would be spending his time as a surgical resident in the country's most famous hospital. Haku wasn't lucky enough to get adopted, so Sister Helen and Father Maxwell had been taking care of him in their church orphanage until he turned eighteen and had to get his own place. Luckily, Haku had always been smart, hardworking and very stubborn, enough to reach for his dreams.

 

Haku walked with light steps along the road. His apartment wasn't far from his beloved church orphanage. The bus ride to Konoha University Hospital was quite far, but he didn't care. He could manage. As the young doctor took a turn, Haku noticed that the vacant lot he usually passed by was now busy with construction. He was wondering what building they were putting up there when the construction workers noticed him strolling by.

 

“Hey, there, pretty girl! How're ya doin'?”

 

“Now what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Want me to walk you?”

 

“Oh, yeah, baby! Just keep walkin' and give me a show of that tight ass!”

 

Damn it! This always happens!

 

Pride shaken, Haku stopped and turned to face the workers. Mustering the scariest face he could possibly make, he let out the most undoubtedly masculine roar he could let out -- which was, of course, not at all that masculine.

 

“I AM NOT A GIRL!!!!”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

We, of Yale Vascular Surgery Department, hereby offer you a fellowship…

 

Shikamaru didn't finish reading before he let go of the letter, letting the wind sweep it away from his fingers and on to the sea. With a bored yawn, he opened another one and started reading again.

 

We, of Princeton General Hospital, hereby offer you a fellowship in our Surgical Oncology Department, to be working under the supervision of…

 

Again, the rest of the letter was left unread before it was tossed in to the ocean. Another envelope adorned with the sigil of some famous university was opened, another letter was read without interest.

 

We, of Johns-Hopkins Neurosurgery Department, hereby offer you a position in our residency…

 

After that one, Shikamaru felt the need for some nicotine and decided to indulge himself. Opening another letter while holding a lit cigarette between two fingers, he frowned at the words presented to him.

 

We, of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, hereby offer you a fellowship in our Diagnostic Department, to be working under the supervision of Gregory House, M.D. Should you want to discuss this offer, please contact…

 

What the hell? Shikamaru thought. This was definitely new. They obviously didn't know how much he hated diagnosing patients. Heck, that was the reason he became a surgeon in the first place. Sure he was damn good at it, but people tend to not take sixteen-year-olds seriously and he was tired of having patients look at him like he was a runaway mental patient or went looking for a second opinion before he even managed to open his prescription book. Whoever created “Doogie Howser, M.D.” deserved a good pounding.

 

Now, after five years as a surgeon, not once had he had a patient question him. After all, he met most of those patients when they were already drugged into oblivion, ready for him to cut them open and make them better.

 

Shaking his head to the hilarity of someone actually considering him as a diagnostician, Shikamaru decided to keep that letter so he could laugh about it later with his house mates. He didn't know how, but somewhere along the way this “throwing letters in to the sea” thing had become a ritual. He did it every year, getting letters after letters of juicy offerings, letting them pile up through out the year before throwing all of them in to the ocean one by one and forgetting about them.

 

Shikamaru picked up the last envelope near his feet and smirked at the heading. As he opened it and read the letter, his smirk grew in to a genuine smile.

 

To: Shikamaru Nara, M.D.

Attending Physician

General Surgery Department, Konoha University Hospital

 

We, of Konoha University Hospital Cardiothoracic Department, hereby offer you a position in our sub-specialist residency under the supervision of Tsunade, M.D. Should you want to discuss this offer, please contact our office when you see fit.

 

Whatever. Just come to my office and tell me you'll do it, you brat! If you don't, I'll tell your father about your affair with that nurse last month. Or worse, your mother!

 

Sincerely,

Tsunade, M.D.

Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery Department

Konoha University Hospital

 

Apparently, after sending a formal letter four times and not getting the response she was hoping for, Tsunade had learned her lesson. This year, she finally resorted to threats. And a nurse? What nurse? Tsk, this could be troublesome.

 

Damn.

 

What would it take to make that woman give it up? Just because his father was a world-famous cardio surgeon didn't mean he had to be one too. Well, at least this year Gai had finally stopped. The guy offered him residency in Urology eight years in a row and finally gave up. Asuma gave up after three years, Ibiki gave up after two, Kimimaro and Orochimaru gave up after the first try, and Jiraiya didn't even bother.

 

Hm… Maybe he should join Jiraiya in Gynecology and Obstetrics instead? Just to shut everybody up?

 

…Nah.

 

Women are troublesome. Babies are troublesome. Both? Troublesome couldn't even begin to describe it.

 

He was happy where he was now. Sure his income was just so-so compared to his friends while he got the most and weirdest cases (it's not everyday you get to stitch back a husband's nose while the wife -- who had bitten it off in the first place -- ranted about her husband's affair in the small O.R.), but at least he could enjoy his life. Besides, not only were this year's residents his age, they seemed to be -- at least from the way Chouji and Ino described them in their emails -- quite entertaining. Maybe this year he could make amends to all those disappointed department heads by agreeing to teach once or twice.

 

Throwing away the letter that had come only a few doors away from his own office, Shikamaru chuckled to himself. Somehow, he had a feeling that this was going to be an interesting year in the oh-so-prestigious Surgical Department of Konoha University Hospital.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

.