Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ O.R. ❯ Episode 2 ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

WARNING: (1) None of the authors have ever or ever will be studying medical science. All medical aspects of this fiction are based entirely on the authors' half-assed research and bullshitting. Input in this matter is very much welcomed, but flames are futile. (2) In the instances where you find the crack lame, the authors' suggest you laugh at the authors' lameness instead -- like the authors did when writing said lame crack. (3) The risk of sudden, random exposures to 80s rock songs in this fic is high, precaution is recommended. (4) References to classic movie and/or TV moments are not indicative towards the authors' age.

Thank you so much to our beta bloodhill. We couldn't have done it without you.

O.R.

Episode 2

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And then you sense a change

Nothing feels the same

All your dreams are strange

Love comes walking in

Some kind of alien

Waits for the opening

Simply pulls a string

Love comes walking in

--- “Love Walks In” by Van Halen

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Beep beep beep… Beep beep beep… Beep beep beep…

Beeeeep… Beeeeep… Beeeeep…

Two hands reached out from under the sheets towards two different bedside tables and blindly grabbed two different beepers. Both small displays on both beepers stated `Code Blue,' making one person jump out of the bed while the other snatched the phone on his bedside table.

“O.R. Nurse Station, Tayuya speaking.”

“Hatake here.”

“Oh, yes, doctor. Your patient, Mrs. McDreamy, was just brought in by her husband five minutes ago. According to Mr. McDreamy, her water broke about fifteen minutes ago but there's hemorrhaging as well. The E.R. on-call doctor is stopping the bleeding and stabilizing her right now.”

“Prep her. I'll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Kakashi left his bed and walked straight into the bathroom. After spending no more than two minutes there to wash his face and brush his teeth, Kakashi grabbed his jeans, white shirt and surgical mask from the walk-in closet that was side by side with the bathroom and put them on as fast as he could.

Once he was sure he had his wallet and keys with him, Kakashi opened his bedroom door the same time another door further along the hallway was opened to reveal Genma Shiranui. The brown haired anesthesiologist was already in his usual grunge-fashion attire, complete with the matching flannel shirt and Converse sneakers that changed color everyday. How his housemate could manage to be stylish in less than five minutes was beyond him.

Yes, this was that other man whose beeper also went off with Code Blue.

You see, about ten minutes by car -- depending on traffic -- from Konoha University Hospital, stood a really cool-looking house by the beach. In it lived three young, successful, single, male doctors. The beach house was big enough to accommodate three men without them having to impinge each other's personal space -- four bedrooms that had their own bathrooms, spacious kitchen and dining room, ridiculously large living room, and a garage big enough to house up to three cars although now it was only used to keep one car and one motorcycle -- and a view to die for. It had a wooden walkway reaching the ocean which, currently, was used to harbor a boat that belonged to one of the occupants.

So yes, since those three doctors were actually two surgeons and one anesthesiologist who worked in the same hospital, it was very common for them to get called-in at the same time to handle the same emergency. In fact, once the hospital sent an ambulance to pick them up just to get the kick out of it.

Now, back to the story, considering his sleepy state, Kakashi realized that riding a car was much more sensible than riding his Ducati. They were both going to the same place anyway, so he might as well ride with Genma in the man's jeep.

“I'll ride with you,” he said to Genma as they rushed down the stairs.

Genma dangled his keys in front of Kakashi with a grin, making the Tuohy needle between his teeth point upward. “Only if you're driving.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes and snatched the keys. “Hmph, fine. Let's go.”

“Hey, Kakashi, you think we should wake Pineapple Head up?” asked Genma as they reached the kitchen.

“What for?”

“So he'd be awake too? It's only fair, man.”

“Don't you think we're a little too old for that kind of game?”

“I know I'm not. Don't know about you though.”

Unlocking the door that led to the garage, Kakashi chuckled. “Whatever. Just leave him a note. Tell him to ride my bike when he goes to work later.”

“Slow day?” Genma asked as he scribbled the note.

“I don't have that many operations scheduled,” answered Kakashi, stepping out and in to the garage. “You and Shikamaru will most likely have more on your plate. I don't want to have to wait for you guys before I can go home.”

“You can always take Shikamaru's example; take the bus or grab a cab.”

“And take away the pride of being `the only person with 500 K income still using public transportation because he's too lazy to drive and take care of his own vehicle' from him?” Kakashi hollered from the garage, climbing into the driver seat of Genma's black Range Rover and igniting the engine. “What kind of monster do you think I am?”

Genma just laughed as he posted the note on the refrigerator with a pineapple-shaped magnet. He then went in to the garage and hopped in to the passenger seat. He barely had his seatbelt fastened when Kakashi backed the car out and they were on their way to the hospital. As the car sped along the road, both men knew it was time to get serious.

“Start talking, doctor Hatake.”

“Name McDreamy, thirty five years old, first child, brought in ten minutes ago. Pregnancy was normal, already reached her thirty-sixth week, but apparently not so good in the end. Water broke twenty minutes ago but there's hemorrhaging. E.R. is stabilizing her right now. I'm guessing they had pumped at least one or two units of blood into her.”

“Still, she lost a lot of blood. I prefer her conscious during the operation.”

“Agreed.”

“Any allergies?”

“Except for penicillin, none.”

“Then epidural is the best option,” Genma stated. He went quiet for a while before suddenly asking, “By the way, `McDreamy'? What kind of a name is that?”

Kakashi just snickered as he expertly parked the big jeep at the almost-empty parking lot. It was six in the morning, after all. After they got off the car, Genma and Kakashi went straight into the locker room and changed in to scrubs before walking towards the O.R. in full speed. Good doctors never run.

Meanwhile, Shino -- who was on night shift with some of the other first year residents -- didn't have anything to do at the time. He took the chance to watch the emergency caesarian procedure and quietly walked towards the observation room above Operating Room 3. He stopped in his tracks when he heard a yawn beside him.

“Inuzuka?”

Kiba blinked. “Huh?”

“What are you doing here?”

Still half asleep, the Inuzuka rubbed his eyes. “I want to watch the surgery, too.”

Shino went silent for a while before pointing out, “You weren't on night shift.”

“Yeah,” Kiba answered with a shrug, suddenly feeling somewhat defensive. “So what?”

Catching something off but never been one who would ask questions about other people's personal problems, Shino decided to stay quiet and continued walking.

When Kakashi and Genma reached the O.R., Tayuya and another O.R. nurse named Karin were already in their scrubs and had everything prepared. As the two doctors sanitized their hands in the scrub room, Tayuya filled them in with the last condition of the patient while Karin accompanied the patient.

“She's stabilized, doctors. B.P. one hundred and ten over eighty, H.R. sixty five. She got a blood transfusion earlier.”

“How many?” asked Genma who needed to know everything about the patient's last status to precisely calculate his anesthetics.

“Two units.”

“Have you contacted the pediatric floor?” asked Kakashi.

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, let's do this.”

Genma was the first one who stepped into the O.R., followed by Kakashi and Tayuya. As Karin helped him put on his surgical gown and mask, he greeted the patient.

“Good morning, Mrs. McDreamy. My name is doctor Shiranui and I'll be your anesthesiologist today. I need to confirm several things before we begin the operation.”

Mrs. McDreamy nodded. Her face and lips were still a little pale but the monitor showed that she was in a good condition, considering what she had just been through.

“You don't have any allergies beside penicillin?”

“No, doctor.”

“Excellent. Your weight?”

“One hundred and fifty one.”

“Okay. Now I need you to listen to me carefully, Mrs. McDreamy. You've lost a lot of blood because of the hemorrhaging. That's why it would be safer for you and the baby if you stay conscious during the operation.”

She got even paler and Genma couldn't blame her for being afraid. For certain people, the cold, sterile feel of the O.R. could be intimidating. He approached the operating table and unleashed the charm that was known to have never failed in distracting a patient. “I know you're scared, but trust me, you won't feel any pain. Before you know it, everything will be over and we'll be celebrating the birth of your first child.”

“Listen to him, Mrs. McDreamy, and smile. McDreamy Junior would love to see mommy smile when he sees her for the first time,” said Kakashi.

Little by little, a smile began to form in those pale lips.

“That's better. Shall we begin?”

“Lidocaine,” Genma murmured to Karin, who immediately handed him a syringe.

Helped by the two nurses, Mrs. McDreamy was put into a sitting position while Genma swabbed the lower part of the patient's back with iodine-damped cotton ball before injecting the lidocaine into the skin to numb it. He prepared a calculated amount of bupivacaine while waiting for the lidocaine to kick in before taking a Tuohy needle from the surgical tray, ready to begin the epidural anesthesia procedure.

“Relax your back and hold your breath,” instructed the anesthesiologist as he expertly inserted the long needle right into the interspinous ligament until he could hear the soft `pop' sound, indicating that the needle had reached its destination. Then he carefully threaded an epidural catheter through the needle. Once the catheter was securely planted, he removed the needle, plugged in the syringe tube with the bupivacaine in it, and injected the substance. The whole process didn't take more than thirty seconds, and once again Mrs. McDreamy was laid down on her back.

Karin handed Genma a needle without being asked and he waited a few moments before pushing it gently into the patient's abdomen several times. “Can you feel that?”

“No.”

Genma turned his head towards Kakashi. “She's ready, doctor. Do your thing.”

“Scalpel,” Kakashi said after nodding to Genma, holding out his right hand. Just like all certified O.R. nurses, Tayuya didn't need the surgeon to be specific for her to know which scalpel was requested. She quickly put the scalpel with number ten blade in Kakashi's hand.

Kakashi was making his clean transverse cut just above Mrs. McDreamy's bladder when the sounds of someone entering the room were heard.

“Glad you can finally join us here, Doug,” he greeted casually, not even bothering to look up from what he was doing. “Suction.”

“Um, I'm not doctor Ross. My name is Iruka Umino, the new pediatrician,” said the new person. Karin put down the clipboard where she kept track of the equipments and supplies being used. Then she proficiently took out clean surgical robe and mask from the autoclave before approaching the new doctor.

Curiosity got into Kakashi, making him turn his head to Iruka's direction just seconds before the nurse put a surgical mask on the pediatrician's face, and he got a glimpse of that tanned skin and full lips.

Thunderbolt struck. Again.

As hard as Kakashi tried to tear his eyes off the stunning sight in front of him, he found that he couldn't. He was pretty sure he was gaping beneath his mask, and he could only hope he wasn't drooling. He didn't even realize that he had given his scalpel back to Tayuya.

“Ahem,” Genma cleared his throat. “Doctor Shiranui to doctor Hatake, we have one McDreamy Junior here waiting to see the outside world.”

Kakashi blinked.

After blinking again several times, he finally murmured, “Scalpel.”

Iruka, now robed and masked, moved to stand unobtrusively near the operating table, slightly behind the surgeon. He was set and ready to receive the newborn as soon as the baby comes out. “I wasn't supposed to be on duty before the formal introduction at nine this morning. It just so happens that I came in early to set up my side of the office, and there aren't any other pediatricians at the moment. I'm so sorry I'm late. I tried to get here as soon as I could.”

“It's okay. You're entitled to be late,” replied Kakashi rather sweetly as he made a deep incision in the abdominal muscle. He was about to reach his goal of cutting open the uterus and pulling the baby out. “Suction.”

“Thanks. Are you always this tolerant to pediatricians?”

“Only to those with high-quality gluteus maximus.”

Genma had to fake some coughing to cover his abrupt laughter. What the hell was Kakashi doing? If that was supposed to be a pick-up line, he was screwed.

“Excuse me?” Iruka hissed with an icy tone, eyes narrowing. “Did you just comment my ass? In front of a patient?”

Tayuya and Karin raised their eyebrows.

The loud cries of a newborn baby filled the O.R., taking everyone's attention away from the surgeon and to the baby. Kakashi expertly cut the umbilical cord before putting the newborn in Iruka's arms, making sure that the cute doctor's attention stayed with the baby instead of shifting back to him. Just to be safe, he decided to move on with closing up the incision. Hopefully he got lucky and doctor Umino would forget the whole `gluteus maximus' incident by the time everything was done.

“Catgut.”

Tayuya gave him the number two catgut along with the proper needle.

“Is… is he o-okay?” asked Mrs. McDreamy with tears glistening in her eyes.

“The pediatrician is checking on him now, but I'm sure he's fine,” answered Kakashi reassuringly while his hands skillfully sutured the uterus wall.

Up in the observation room, Kiba was watching with bright, amazed eyes. Cut here, cut there, pull the baby out. He murmured a bit dreamily, “That was so damn cool.”

Shino, who had been concentrating on the operation all the while, turned to look at his companion as he heard the voice. That was when he noticed how tired and worn-out Kiba looked. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he looked pale. It hadn't even been two weeks since their residency began. Although they had to keep up with impossible studying and working hours, being called `in-house staff' by the surgeons and nurses because they had to practically lived in the hospital, Kiba shouldn't be this exhausted. Moreover, why was the man here when he wasn't on last night's shift?

Out of habit, although Shino himself didn't know why, he asked, “What's wrong with you?”

Kiba tore his eyes away from the operation below and focused them on his usually-quiet friend. “What do you mean? Nothing's wrong with me.”

“You look like shit.”

“Oh, wow. Thanks a lot.”

“Seriously. You look like you haven't slept in days. And why are you here at this hour when you weren't even here for last night's shift?”

A staring contest ensued, in which Kiba finally sighed resignedly, “I'm fine, Aburame. I'm here `coz I spent the night here.”

“…”

“Okay, okay, I confess,” wailed the Inuzuka as he broke down under Shino's flat stare. “Just don't tell anyone, okay? I don't want to get kicked out.”

“Kicked out?”

“Yeah, well, I don't think this hospital allows freeloading.”

“Freeloading? You live here? Literally?”

“Uh-huh. My mom disowned me when I told her I got accepted here.”

Unused to other people confiding in him, Shino didn't know what to say to that news. Finally, being the analytical, realistic guy that he was, he decided to just stick with the actual problem. “You haven't found an apartment after all this time?”

Kiba grumped quietly, somewhat embarrassed. “I can't afford an apartment. My mom cut off my allowance.”

“What happened to your salary?”

“Are you kidding, man? I can't afford an apartment with that.”

“There are lots of cheap apartments around here.”

“I've seen them, yeah, but they're far from habitable. I mean, you can reach the kitchen after only taking two steps from the bedroom which is, of course, look more like a closet than a bedroom. In fact, it's more like kitchen-slash-living room-slash-every other room. And the bathroom? Geez! Seriously, how can people…”

Shino then remembered that, although he was never close with Kiba throughout med school and internship, he knew the man was from a wealthy family from those sport cars and expensive clothing. And apparently, this trust-fund-baby refused to let go of his previous lifestyle.

Deciding that Kiba wasn't worth his time since he couldn't do anything to help anyway, Shino ignored the rest of his friend's rant and turn his attention back to the operation where the surgeon was done with the internal organ and muscle tissues and was ready to close up the skin.

“Silk,” Kakashi said, and Tayuya obligingly gave him the requested suture with the proper needle.

Iruka waited until Kakashi was finished with his job, right down to cleaning up the operated area and dressing the wound, before he walked closer to the operating table with the newborn in his arms.

“Mrs. McDreamy, meet your son. 7.4 pounds, 53 cm, and very healthy. Congratulations,” Iruka said sweetly as he carefully laid the baby boy on her chest.

She was downright sobbing. “Oh, thank you… Thank you so much.”

With nothing else to do, Kakashi's attention was once again drawn to Iruka. He watched the pediatrician's every move as the tanned, kind man talked softly with his patient.

Genma, who didn't miss Kakashi's thunderstruck condition, made the last checks on the patient's vital signs before chuckling quietly to his friend, “High-quality gluteus maximus, huh? Most people say `nice ass,' but yours sounds better. Makes you look smart.”

“Shut up.”

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“Guys, you are not going to believe this,” Karin's voice rang inside the O.R. nurse locker room, among giggling and morning greetings, as the nurses from last night and the ones who were going to be on duty starting this morning met.

Ten Ten, who was pulling her hair up in to two buns, looked away from the mirror behind her locker door to Karin. “Why? What happened?”

“Oh, yeah,” Tayuya was the one who answered, chuckling as she combed her pink hair. “There was an urgent caesarian earlier, you know, around six or so?”

Kurenai looked up from her clipboard. “I'm reading your report about that right now. What of it? Wait, would this have anything to do with the new pediatrician? That doctor…” she looked at the clipboard again, “Umino?”

Karin could barely hold her laughter. “Yep. You can say that.”

Tayuya snickered with her. “Or, to be more specific, his… what was it again, Karin?”

“Gluteus maximus! Gyahahaha!”

The other nurses in the room stared as the two women guffawed, supporting each other as they struggled to remain upright.

“What are you two talking about?” Ten Ten asked impatiently. It was already well passed eight, she had to assist an operation at ten and she hadn't had breakfast yet.

“Apparently,” answered Tayuya as she wheezed. “That's doctor-speak for `ass.'”

“Doctor Hatake,” Karin chimed in, still giggling, “told doctor Umino that he has a nice butt… in Latin!”

Kurenai's lips started to twitch as laughter struggled to come out. “He didn't.”

Tayuya had to take a deep breath. “Oh, he did. Doctor Umino didn't take it all that well though. Doctor Hatake was lucky they were in surgery or the guy would've punched his lights out.”

“Well, obviously,” Ten Ten guffawed. “What was doctor Hatake thinking?”

“He wasn't,” Karin commented as she took off her uniform and put on a shirt. “If you ask me, I think he's been watching too much of that gay porn of his.”

The nurses laughed giddily, knowing that the incident would most likely be public knowledge by the end of the day. Oh, they couldn't wait to see this new gossip spread like wildfire in the cafeteria at lunchtime.

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Neji just got out of his car, satisfied at himself for arriving at precisely nine o'clock, when he saw a drool-worthy black motorcycle being parked smoothly not far from him. Like most guys, doctor Neji Hyuuga could get all excited over such machines. However, he was never the type to just up and go chat with some rider about their bike, so he just watched this one offhandedly while locking his car door. That is, until the man took off his helmet, making Neji feel like he just hit the jackpot.

It was him! The sexy guy with the pineapple head! Although, upon further inspection, that head didn't look anything like any fruit now. Not that Neji was complaining. If anything, the guy looked even better with his hair down. The Hyuuga could've sworn he was watching slow-motion when the man put his helmet on the gas tank between his thighs, shook his head and ran a hand through his hair before pulling it up into its customary ponytail.

As he watched that person get off the bike, shrug off his slim, black, leather jacket and put it next to the helmet before unstrapping his black shoulder bag from the rear part of the bike's dual seat and wear it diagonally, Neji contemplated approach. He had never done that before, seeing as he was never the talkative type -- except when he was talking to a grave -- much less the flirty type. He was used to having men or women come on to him, not the other way around. But still, how bad could it be?

Decision made, Neji approached the Ducati and its rider. “That's a Monster 695, right?”

The man turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”

“Nice ride,” Neji garbled, desperately trying to think up what else he could say. “Listen, I, um, I was wondering-”

“Pick up your god damn phone, lazy asshole! Pick up your god damn phone, lazy asshole! Pick up your god damn…”

The man pulled a cellphone -- that was still telling him to pick up his `god damn phone' with a somewhat familiar voice, Neji noted -- out of nowhere before saying, “Sorry, I have to get this.”

Since it was obvious that the guy wasn't interested in him, Neji had no idea what to do other than try to salvage his pride. “No, it's okay. I also have to get going.”

The man nodded to him before ending his phone's incessant swearing and answered it, seemingly already forgetting the Hyuuga was even there. “Yeah?”

Neji left the man to his conversation rather dejectedly. Oh, well, it was worth the try. Taking one last look, he noticed that the guy was once again wearing black denim pants and turtleneck pullover. He vaguely wondered if it was just a coincidence that this person happened to be wearing that ensemble every time he stumbled into his vision, or if he had no other clothes. Smirking at his own thoughts as he walked away, Neji could still hear some words in that voice he was glad he could finally hear.

“…The worst pick-up line known to mankind? …What do you mean it's in Latin? …Are you with him now? …I'm on my way.”

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Shino was all set in his habitual overcoat-sunglasses combo, ready to go home to get a bit of sleep before going back to the hospital for more classes and work. He locked his locker door and turned around to find Kiba rustling around the corner. After taking a moment to take a better look, he noticed that his fellow resident was busy rolling a sleeping bag near a large, opened backpack which was showing its contents' state of disarray. It was like some sort of nest, and it seemed like the Inuzuka put everything away every morning so no one would notice.

Puzzled, the Aburame approached his colleague. “You would rather live like this than in a small apartment?”

Kiba looked up and frowned. “Well… yeah.”

“I don't understand. In an apartment, no matter how dingy you think it is, you would still be sleeping on a bed and have a closet to store your belongings.”

“But I'd have to pay for it.”

“You have the money.”

“It's not worth it,” Kiba grumped with a childish pout. “If I have to pay for an apartment, it has to be a good one.”

That logic was lost on Shino. The way Kiba suddenly looked up at him with puppy eyes, however, wasn't. Oh, shit.

“Hey, what about your place? You have any extra room?”

Shino wanted to say no, really he did, but as those brown eyes locked with his, full of hope, he couldn't stop his mouth from blurting out, “Yes.”

“You do? Really? Wait, what's your apartment look like?”

Suddenly feeling his pride bruised, though he didn't know why or how, Shino gave the man currently kneeling in front of him his patented flat stare. “It's a two-bedroom apartment, so it's quite spacey. My roommate left right after internship's finished so the other room's unoccupied.”

“That sounds great! I can move in, yeah? Yeah?”

“…”

“Please?”

“…”

“Come on, Aburame, buddy. I swear I won't be any trouble. I'll… I'll pay half the rent. Please, let me be your new roommate, pleeeeease?”

Apparently, Shino thought as he tried to get his mouth to function so he could say something, Kiba Inuzuka was unaware of the effect of having an attractive person begging to your dick. Seriously, those lips were so damn close to his groin he could feel Kiba's breath through his pants and overcoat. This wasn't good.

“Pen and paper,” he finally croaked.

Kiba tilted his head in confusion -- and nearly made Shino faint -- as he asked, “What?”.

After gulping loudly, Shino tried again. “Pen and paper. You'll need directions.”

“Oh… OH! Of course!” Kiba practically squealed in both relief and delight. He rummaged inside his backpack for the requested items, rambling, “Thanks a lot, man. You have no idea how much this means to me. You just saved my life!”

Shino's mind was still filled with Kiba's `Oh… OH!' and pictures of the Inuzuka as a hentai screamer when the pen and paper were shoved in to his hands. He scribbled the address and directions dazedly, not caring whether or not it was actually eligible. He really needed to find some `entertainment' later after he get some sleep.

“I'll talk to the super. When you go there tonight, just tell him who you are and he'll give you the keys. Do not enter the room on the right. It's mine,” Shino rambled uncharacteristically, still trying to get his perverted mind to stop being perverted.

After taking back the pen and paper, Kiba smiled brightly and envelope the other man in a bear hug. “Thank you! Thank you! God, I love you!”

Trying to breathe under Kiba's assault, the only thing Shino could think of was `Fuck sleep. I need that entertainment now!'

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Within his one-year-plus time as a surgical resident, Neji had never had the chance to see doctor Shikamaru Nara. He had watched some operations from way up there, but none of them were performed by the so-called `Lazy Genius'. Now, for his first time assisting in the O.R., the attending physician was that exact person. It was only a vasectomy, but he would still be able to see if the man was really as good as everyone said he was. Fate was finally kind to him.

Neji wasn't planning to say anything or even show his dislike. He was just curious about the elusive surgeon; what the guy looked like and all that. Since doctor Nara had been a surgeon for five years, the man must be in his late thirties at least. Was he the type that grew old nicely, or the type that was already balding and flabby? Considering this person was famous for being lazy, the Hyuuga surmised it was the later and scoffed to himself.

“…on my way to O.R. 7 right now. Tell doctor Shiranui I'll be right there.”

Neji snapped to attention at the sound of that voice. It belonged to that person he liked. The man just said he was on his way to Operating Room 7, the same room the Hyuuga was going to. And he was expected by doctor Shiranui, which meant the guy must be a resident in Anesthesiology. Wow. Fate really was being kind to him.

As the man hung up the phone on the O.R. Nurse Station desk and walked away, Neji sped up his pace to catch up. “Hello.”

Doctor Shikamaru Nara, who wasn't in a good mood to begin with after spending almost an hour in Anesthesiology Department listening to the oh-so-many ways Kakashi could describe the utter cuteness of the new pediatrician, looked at the man who suddenly appeared beside him with distaste. It was the resident who had tried to kiss his ass this morning, and if there was anything that he hated more than Doogie Howser, it was residents who liked to kiss ass. “Yes?”

“I couldn't help overhearing that you're going to O.R. 7,” Neji smiled. “So am I.”

Right. The Nara remembered now that his ten o'clock was supposed to be an educational moment for some second year resident named Hyuuga. He was starting to regret his decision to finally help with teaching this year. “Hm.”

The air was getting awkward. “So, um, what year are you? You're a resident in Anesthesiology, right? I'm second year, by the way. In general surgery.”

Shikamaru blinked. Was this guy serious? He looked at Neji intently, trying to see if the man wasn't just playing some sort of trick, and true enough, he found nothing but plain curiosity in those strangely-colored eyes. Besides, no resident would be suicidal enough to pull a prank on an attending physician. Shit, this person really didn't know who he was. So then, why was he…?

Oh.

The Nara was caught between amazement and disbelief. This person was unbelievably good-looking so hell, yeah, he was interested. However, this was the first time anyone had ever shown any interest in him before knowing about his genius and/or his job and/or his income. And a person this hot? The young surgeon decided to thread carefully. Test the waters, so to speak.

Responding to the Hyuuga's last sentence, Shikamaru directed his gaze to Neji's pink, flowery scrub cap and smirked. “I noticed.”

“Yeah,” Neji shrugged sheepishly, a bit embarrassed about his uniform. “They said they gave us this cap because we're all guys. You have it easy.”

“I wouldn't know about that.” Shikamaru smiled, knowing what Neji meant but couldn't resist teasing him. “Anesthesiology could be tricky.”

“Oh, no, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that… well, at least they don't make you wear pink scrubs and funny caps.”

“You don't like your cap?”

“It's soft pink. It has pink flower patterns. What do you think?”

Shikamaru chuckled and looked at Neji up and down. “Hm… you're right. It doesn't suit you.”

“Tell me something I don't know,” Neji sighed. “So what year are you? I've noticed you ever since I entered residency last year; are you in your second year too?”

“You've been watching me?”

“No, no, it wasn't like that. It was just, you know, sometimes I saw you passing by or… uh…” the Hyuuga trailed off in defeat, struggling his damnedest to stop the blush he knew was creeping up his face. “Come on, you know what I mean.”

What Neji didn't know was that Shikamaru hadn't missed the suppressed blush, and to say the Nara was delighted would be an understatement. The Hyuuga really did like him. Not his brain, not his status, not his money. Flattered, warmed and giddy all at the same time, the usually cynical doctor Shikamaru Nara didn't even realize he was smiling a true happy smile for the first time in almost ten years.

“Sure,” he said ambiguously, making the Hyuuga flushed all the more.

Neji cleared his throat and tried to change the subject. “So, um, you've worked with doctor Nara before, right? What do you think about him?”

“I… don't know. Why?”

“Well, I've never even seen him before, but I've heard about him. I'm just curious, I guess. What does he look like?”

“What do you think he looks like?” asked Shikamaru with a wicked smile.

“Hm… let me see… I think… he's an ugly, fat, bald virgin.”

Shikamaru's sudden, loud guffaw nearly made Neji jump. “You seriously think that?”

Neji laughed too. “Everyone said he's the laziest person on Earth. I figured he should at least be fat, right?”

Still snickering, Shikamaru said, “He's not fat, he's not bald and he's no virgin. Ugly or not is a matter of taste, so I leave that up to you. I think he might be your taste though.”

“You think so? Why? Does he look anything like you?”

Shikamaru's eyes twinkled and Neji was hit with the realization of what he just said.

Holy hell, what was he thinking? This time, the Hyuuga didn't give the annoying blush a chance before launching to damage control. “Ahem, anyway, I didn't catch your name. Mine's Neji Hyuuga, what's yours?”

“Doctor Nara, doctor Hyuuga,” Ten Ten greeted both of them with a grin outside the door leading to Operating Room 7 which, apparently, they had reached without realizing it. “The patient's prepped and ready. Doctor Shiranui just finished scrubbing.”

Neji didn't know if he was just stupid or in denial, but he actually looked back to see if doctor Nara was walking behind them.

There was nobody there.

Oh, my fucking God!

“Come on, doctor Hyuuga,” Shikamaru moved along, desperately trying not to laugh at Neji's fish-out-of-water expression. “Wouldn't want to keep the patient waiting, would we?”

In the scrub room, sanitizing his hands, Neji managed to gather his composure. He didn't even dare to look at Shikamaru, so he didn't know the man was actually studying him with a soft smile all the while. Finally, after taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, the Hyuuga turned to his professor with determination.

“Doctor Nara,” he said resolutely. “I apologize for… what happened. I swear it was a misunderstanding, as I had no idea who you were. I meant no disrespect. I'm-”

“Relax, Hyuuga,” Shikamaru snorted. “You're not in any trouble. I was the one who duped you so I'm the one who should apologize. But, since you're a resident and I'm an attending physician -- which means you're a cockroach and I'm God, I won't.”

“Um…” Neji didn't know if he was supposed to thank or punch the guy. “Yes, sir.”

“Now,” the Nara went to surgeon-mode. “I know this is your first time being involved in actual surgery, so here's what's going to happen. You will do everything I tell you, quickly and correctly. You will observe quietly, because this is a small operation and the patient will be fully conscious and alert. He knows you're still studying, but if he hears your questions he'll freak out. Save it for later. Take notes if necessary. Is that clear?”

Glad that they would jump right into business, the Hyuuga nodded briskly. “Yes, doctor.”

“Patient is one Zaku Abumi, twenty nine years old, in perfect condition and no allergies. So, ready to cut some balls, Hyuuga?”

Neji was in no mental state to laugh or even smile. “Yes, sir.”

Shikamaru was a bit disappointed that he couldn't make Neji smile again, but he let it go. They had a patient to sterilize.

“Hello again, Mr. Abumi. Are you ready?” he greeted as he entered the small O.R., trying not to move so Ten Ten could dress him in surgical gown and mask without hindrance.

Lying on his back on the operating table, the patient smiled nervously. “Ready as I'll ever be.”

Taking his place at the right side of the operating table, Shikamaru took a cursory look at the tray next to him. Satisfied that it had all the equipments he would need, from scalpels to forceps to sutures and their respective needles, he talked to the patient. “I trust doctor Shiranui had introduced himself?”

Genma chuckled as he prepared syringes filled with precisely calculated amounts of lignocaine. “Of course I have. Mr. Abumi and I are practically buddies now.”

The relaxed atmosphere making him lose some of his nervousness, Zaku smiled wider and tried a joke of his own. “Well, if I'm going to let a guy stick something in me I should at least know his name, right?”

All medical personnel in the room, including Neji and Ten Ten who just approached the table and took their places after they were done with Neji's surgical gown and mask, froze in awkward silence.

Zaku, who just realized what he had implied and was now nervous for a whole different reason, cleared his throat.

Genma blinked. “Wait, you're gay?”

“Uh… yeah.”

“Then… what's the vasectomy for?”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “Doctor Shiranui, I believe Mr. Abumi has his own personal reasons. Mr. Abumi, this is doctor Hyuuga who'll be assisting me. Doctor Hyuuga, please prepare the area.”

Neji, who knew exactly what to do since he had prepared himself all night, quickly picked up the supplies he would need. He nearly dropped everything when the patient suddenly spoke, “Um, actually, I have a perfectly good reason for this.”

“Would you mind telling us?” Genma asked in honest curiosity.

“No, it's okay. It's quite a long story though.”

To say everyone was interested would be an understatement. However, since they were supposed to avoid jokes or alarming topics and keep the atmosphere boring, Shikamaru derailed the conversation. “Mr. Abumi, please try to remain as still as possible during the procedure. If you feel any discomfort or pain, don't hesitate to tell us, and please just speak instead of moving any limb or trying to help.”

“Um, okay.”

Genma wouldn't have any of that though. “Story! Great! I like stories.”

As Neji positioned himself to do his job, Shikamaru droned, “Now, Mr. Abumi, we're going to swab the operating area with antiseptic. It's cold in the beginning, but you'll feel a slight burning sensation for a few minutes as it dries. Please don't be alarmed.”

Apparently, Zaku would rather put himself in denial and pretend that he was talking with some guy in a bar than admitting that he was talking to doctors in an operating room. It stopped him from being nervous, so what the hell. He said to Genma, “You see, a couple of months ago, my ex-boyfriend went to this party…”

Shikamaru noticed that his patient's penis and scrotum were covered by dressing towels, indicating that Neji was done. He interrupted the story, “Mr. Abumi, please be aware that although you won't feel any pain, you will feel some pushing and pulling. Again, please speak up if you feel any actual pain.”

“Sure, doctor. Now where was I? Oh, yeah, the party. It was damn wild…”

Watching Shikamaru retract the penis upwards by pulling a dressing towel then tucked a swab between scrotum and thighs, Neji knew that next was the tricky part. From the journals he had read and the documentaries he had seen, finding a vasa deferentia -- and not lose it again -- could be torture. For the surgeon, not the patient. He would see now just how good doctor Nara really was.

“Really? So the alcohol and drugs kept coming, and then what happened?”

Genma's voice distracted the Hyuuga. It was familiar, but not because he had heard doctor Shiranui spoke many times, and that was when it hit him. The ring tone! The man swearing at doctor Nara to pick up the phone was none other than doctor Genma Shiranui! Oh, he was so dead. If the two doctors were that close, there was no doubt that the crazy anesthesiologist would hear about what he did. Neji bit back the urge to use that scalpel on the tray to kill himself, and decided to just listen to the patient's story to forget about everything.

“Apparently, he got too damn drunk to notice anything and had sex with a woman there. It wasn't all that surprising, knowing him and the situation, but…”

“Doctor Shiranui,” Shikamaru called and Genma gave him a syringe without even turning his head from the patient. “Sorry to interrupt the story, Mr. Abumi, but I have to warn you that you will feel a sting as the injection goes into the skin. It's normal and there's nothing to worry about, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, he was so out of it, he- Ow! That stung!”

Shikamaru was past caring about being polite. “Well, duh.”

The patient didn't care either and went back to the story as Neji watched the surgeon used his right hand to inject lignocaine in several different points in and around the vasa deferentia that was gripped firmly by his left fingers, waiting a few moments before going for the deeper tissues.

“…I mean, what kind of an idiot doesn't wear a condom in this day and age? He was lucky he didn't catch anything from her, but-”

“Scalpel.”

Neji handed the scalpel with blade number fifteen and Ten Ten marked the paper in her clipboard.

“-he wasn't lucky enough to avoid-”

“Forceps.”

Neji gave him a mosquito forceps and, like before, Ten Ten put the usage in the log.

“-getting her pregnant, so-”

“Get me the Poirier one.”

“-go figure. It took her almost a month to-”

“Swab.”

“-track him down and-”

“Another one.”

“-when she did, she found-”

“Lignocaine.”

“-out that he's gay.”

“Oh, man,” Genma's voice chimed in. “That's bad. Then what?”

It was obvious now that Zaku Abumi was the type that couldn't stop talking when nervous. “First she went ballistic. Then she became sad and whiny. Then-”

“Scalpel.”

“-she became, like, this-”

“Catgut.”

“-tough chick with her band of lawyers, ready to sue him if-”

“Mosquito forceps.”

“-he didn't do as she asked. After both of them-”

“Swab.”

“-got tired of all that bullshit, they called it quits and-”

“Forceps.”

“-agreed to just share the kid and all expenses equally. Now they're-”

“Another one.”

“-both waiting for the baby to be born. I was there through-”

“Scalpel.”

“-the whole process, you know, as a friend. And I thought, man, if that were to happen to me, I'd have no idea what to do.”

“So you decided to have a vasectomy just incase?”

Realizing that the voice came from the surgeon that was performing the operation and that said surgeon's hands hadn't stopped working, Zaku gulped. “Is it really okay for you to talk while you're doing… um, what are you doing?”

“Tying a triple knot,” answered Shikamaru blandly.

“Small operations like this one take approximately sixty percent of doctor Nara's brain capacity,” Genma snickered to calm the man down again. “Since he's currently using another one percent to listen to your story and talk, can you guess what the other thirty-nine percent is doing? I'll give you a hint: It's something very naughty.”

Afraid to laugh although he wanted to, Zaku settled with a wide grin. “Oh, my. He takes multitasking to a whole new level, doesn't he?”

Ten Ten joined in with a wink. “He practically gives it a new meaning.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “Guys, I'm right here. By the way, Mr. Abumi, sorry to ruin the fun, but I have to explain stuff again. Standard procedure and all that.”

Zaku smiled rather seductively at the young surgeon. “I promise to listen this time.”

“Oh-kay,” Shikamaru said somewhat uncomfortably. Was the patient flirting with him? First Kakashi, then Neji Hyuuga, now this? It seemed to be the running theme today. “I'm done with your left vas, and I'm about to repeat the process with your right one. You're going to feel that sting again. Sorry.”

“It's okay. You can sting me anytime, anywhere.”

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow while both Ten Ten and Genma snickered.

“Er, sorry about that. It's just that you look so young and… how old are you really? Man, what am I saying? You probably don't even swing that way.”

“I'm twenty seven,” Shikamaru said to comfort his patient as he began probing for the right vasa deferentia. “And actually, I swing both ways.”

“Oh… Wow. Young and bisexual. Are you available, too?”

Genma and Ten Ten were dying. From suppressing their guffaw, that is.

“I'm in the process of becoming unavailable. Lignocaine.”

“Ah, I get it. So you must really like this guy, huh? Or girl?”

“Guy. And yeah, I think I really like him.”

Genma promptly threw Shikamaru a questioning look -- which was completely ignored.

“Damn,” Zaku sighed. “So, how's the process going? Okay?”

Shikamaru chuckled. “It hardly even began.”

“What do you mean? Don't tell me you haven't even come on to him yet.”

“He just came on to me. Unfortunately, he doesn't think it went well. And I haven't had the chance to tell him otherwise.”

“Too busy playing surgeon?”

“You can say that. Doesn't matter though. I'll sort this out even if it kills me.”

“Geez. I don't have that much of a chance, do I?”

“More like no chance at all. Sorry.”

“Oh, well. Can't blame a guy for trying. So is he hot? What's he look like?”

“Very hot. Nice frame, long hair, uniquely-colored eyes. Poirier forceps please, doctor Hyuuga.”

Neji was dying. From embarrassment, that is.

-----------------------------------------

There was only one thing in doctor Genma Shiranui's mind, and that was a chance to be alone in his office. He was dead tired, and he wanted to take a nap for at least an hour before undergoing the last operation in his schedule with doctor Anko Mitarashi this afternoon.

Meningioma resection was a tricky and long surgery that called for a tricky anesthesia procedure. Someone under general anesthesia wasn't supposed to be sitting up in a thirty degrees angle, but that was the position needed by the neurosurgeon to be able to cut open the skull and removed the tumor. Genma knew that that kind of operation required his top performance, so he really needed his rest.

The anesthesiologist didn't get any sleep after the urgent caesarian like he had intended to. Kakashi wouldn't stop talking about the super-cute new pediatrician, lingering in Genma's office, reciting `Iruka This Iruka That' for hours. And when Shikamaru arrived at nine and joined them, the gay porn addict took that chance to inform Pineapple Head about the new doctor all over again. They had a good laugh over the `Gluteus Maximus' incident, but `Iruka This Iruka That Act 2' had taken another hour. By the time Kakashi was done pouring his heart out to his best friends, it was time for Genma to aid another surgery.

Sure he didn't really do much since it was only a vasectomy. He actually had a habit of asking the guys in administration to schedule him in those kinds of surgeries because he didn't have to concentrate too hard in them. Vasectomies -- where he could just slack off or chat with the patient -- were his personal favorite, especially if the surgeon was Shikamaru. This particular vasectomy turned out to be exciting, too, mainly when he heard that, apparently, his young friend had a rather serious love interest. Too bad the guy refused to elaborate further and just said, “Don't you have a patient or something?”

Which was true, unfortunately. That was what made things worse. As fun as the vasectomy was, it wasn't rest. And it was followed by his eleven o'clock appointment, which was a terminal cancer patient who was sent to him by Sarutobi Jr. since Genma was a pain medicine specialist. Afterwards, he had a short teaching session with his two residents. No rest for the wicked.

Drained and worn out, doctor Shiranui walked towards his office in full speed, avoiding his colleagues as much as he could along the way. Once he closed the wooden door securely behind him, he let out a relieved sigh and dumped himself onto the big sofa. Oh, it felt so damn good.

Knock knock.

Genma swore as he forced himself to sit. He just couldn't believe his bad luck. “Come in!”

Two men and one woman in their early twenties stepped into the office. One of them, the young man who somehow reminded him of Asuma in their med school years, greeted him politely, “Excuse us, doctor Shiranui.”

“Yes?”

“Um, we're here on assignment. Doctor Ebisu told us in his class that good doctors always make a complete background check on a patient's medical history before making any medical decision. He, um, also mentioned that you're the best in this field. So we thought we could… um…”

“Come here for some pointers?”

“Yes, sir.”

Genma could tell by the way they smiled at him that these midgets were really excited to meet him. In a different situation, he might return their excitement with one of his own, but now he just couldn't put up with it. He was exhausted and he needed some sleep, but these little devils had ruined it. Since he was denied of sleep, he could just forget about the whole thing and take full advantage of the situation, right? Besides, it had been a while since he pulled a prank on medical students. This should be fun.

“I see. Why don't you guys introduce yourselves first?”

“I'm Konohamaru Sarutobi.”

“Hey…! You're Asuma's nephew, right?”

“Yes, doctor.”

“And you?” asked Genma to the brown haired young man with glasses.

“Udon, sir.”

“And the beautiful lady here?”

“Moegi, sir,” answered the orange-haired student with eyes full of admiration. “I just want to say that it's such an honor to meet you, sir. We've heard so much about you.”

Genma awarded her with one of his charming smile before he walked towards his desk and sat behind it. “Why don't all of you sit on that couch so we can start right away?”

The three med students sat on the sofa and took out their notebooks eagerly.

“Okay, first rule of taking a patient's history is there's no such thing as too many questions. In order to heal them, you need to know what's wrong with them. And to do that you have to make a prognosis. An accurate prognosis required information. A lot of information.”

Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi listened to Genma's words attentively, their hands busy scribbling in their notebooks.

“As an anesthesiologist, I need to have as much detailed information as possible on the patient before I can decide which anesthesia or analgesia to use; their symptoms, age, weight, medication history and, if they have any, allergies. But remember, not every patient is aware of their allergies. That's what the tests are for. Understood?”

Three head nodded, and Genma continued with his lecture.

“Now, a patient's medical history is not the only thing that you must always check. Their parents' medical history is just as important. I don't need to remind you about the countless genetic and hereditary diseases out there, do I? What's also important is the patient's personal background, such as eating habit and life style, including their sex life. You never know which information's going to save their life. So don't take any chances, just collect information as much as you can. Any questions?”

Moegi raised her hand.

“Yes?”

“What if the patient refuses to share that kind information? Some of the things you mentioned earlier are very personal.”

“True. That's why you need to learn the art of being persuasive, my dear.”

“The art of being persuasive?” asked three of them in unison.

“You need to learn the art of convincing the patient that it's important for doctors to know everything about them. The problem is you can't learn this skill from books or class. The best way is to practice. And that's exactly what I have in mind for you.”

Genma got off his chair calmly and walked towards the students who instantly also got on their feet. “This is a huge hospital and we're never short of patients. So why don't you go practice those things we just discussed as soon as possible? Like right now?”

“Okay, sir. But, um, what if-”

“Be confident,” said Genma, cutting Udon's -- who clearly had no confidence -- words.

“H-how?” he asked again.

“Hmm… maybe I can help by giving you something to boost your confidence.”

“Really, sir?”

“Of course. Just one moment, please.”

Again, the three med students nodded their head as they watched the great doctor Shiranui grabbed a spray-canister out of his desk drawer.

“Now, take a deep breath,” instructed the anesthesiologist as he sprayed their faces with his special mix of nitrous dioxide. Little by little, a wicked grin was forming on Genma's face while the anesthesia did its job.

Meogi was the first one who got affected, giggling happily. But it didn't take too long before the two young men were also wiped by the euphoria which was the main effect of the laughing gas.

“Oh, I feel great,” said Moegi between giggles.

“Yeah, I feel like I can do anything! Thank you very much, doctor Shiranui!” Udon started to laugh in a strange, maniacal way.

“Anytime. Now off you go, and don't forget about the personal background.”

“I won't, sir. I'm definitely going to ask the patient about their sex life!” shouted Konohamaru enthusiastically.

After shoving the three little devils out of his office, Genma stood in front of the door, grinning as they waved to him with peels of joyful laughter.

And that was when doctor Raidou Namiashi, the man who had been filling his dreams for many years, walked from the opposite direction of those med students. The tall cardio surgeon stared at the trio with a critical look before he was convinced that they were high. Then he saw doctor Genma Shiranui, the person who was infamous for his anesthesia-abuse pranks, standing with a satisfied grin. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened.

As a person who had to work hard to get where he was now, Raidou was very serious and rather intolerant towards fun and games in a working environment. Doctors shouldn't act so unprofessionally, especially illustrious ones like Genma Shiranui. And he happened to know that doctor Shiranui was never serious. How the man had gotten so highly commended was beyond him.

“Doctor Namiashi,” Genma called, hoping that he could engage Raidou in a conversation.

Raidou just gave his colleague a disgusted glance and continued walking.

And for the millionth time, Genma Shiranui's heart was broken.

Tired, sleepy and now broken hearted, Genma stomped to Gynecology and Obstetrics, not caring about Jiraiya running past him or Tsunade shrieking behind him or even a shoe whizzing by near his left ear. As he entered the office, the usual erotic sounds from the room's HDTV filled his ears.

“Aren't you tired of that movie already? You must have watched it a hundred times.”

“I'm doing a research.”

“Yeah, right.” Genma plopped on the couch beside Kakashi. “God, I need to get high…”

“Just before an operation? Are you out of your mind?”

“Maybe I am. Urgh…,” Genma groaned, furiously chewing his Tuohy needle.

Kakashi started to get worried. “What happened to you?”

“Raidou happened to me.”

The silver-haired doctor rolled his eyes. “Genma, he's been happening to you since we were in med school.”

“I have the worst luck, you know. Every time I indulge myself in the dark side of the force, he just has to be there.”

“Aw, hell. Who's your victim this time, Darth Vapor?”

“A bunch of med students… what does it matter, man? The thing is Raidou hates me. In fact, when it comes to him, I feel like the whole world is against me.”

“Aren't you being a little dramatic?”

“No, I'm not. Describing a scar on a new pediatrician's nose with more than ten thousand words is dramatic. Me, I'm just observant.”

“Hey~”

“I mean, seriously, remember how I sent him all those signals and hints back in med school? Hell, I even seriously considered smoke signals once. But he just didn't get it. Then, after he finally came back here from whatever town he moved to, we worked in the same hospital for five years, and not once, not even once did we get the same operation. How weird is that?”

“Hm…” Kakashi went contemplative before saying, “Maybe you should try that smoke signal.”

“Shut up.”

-----------------------------------------

Being the only resident in history that had managed to call an attending physician an `ugly, fat, bald virgin' and survived to tell the tale was not an achievement. Neji would know. He had done it. And while flirting with the guy at the same time, too. Sure the surgeon didn't blame him, but still… this was just messed up. Embarrassed couldn't even begin to describe how he felt. He thought fate was being kind to him for once, but no, fate was just being a bitch as usual.

Neji felt like his brain was about to explode. He liked that sexy guy in black with the pineapple-shaped head, absolutely. He hated the man called doctor Nara, obviously. But just his luck, they turned out to be the same person and was actually a year younger than him. Even worse, the man in question had hinted that his misguided infatuation was actually reciprocated.

And damn it, as it turned out, Shikamaru Nara was not as good as everybody said he was. He was better. And Neji knew that for a fact, after watching the man finished a surgery in record time with a more-than-satisfactory result. He was trapped now between feeling all fluttery in admiration and all emo in loathing. He felt both amazed and disgusted. That talent, that intelligence; they were astonishing. But letting them rot in the capacity of a mere general surgeon? Use them only in vasectomies, appendectomies, hernias, or those other countless middling operations? What kind of an ungrateful, inconsiderate, thoughtless, thickskulled… uncaring… idiotic ingrate could do such a thing?

Imagine how that skill and brilliance would shine in something grander; something more complicated and imperative; something like… cardiothoracic surgeries. Those hands, in synch with that brainpower, would do wonders in fixing hearts -- or maybe even transplanting one. If only his father was operated by a cardio surgeon at least half the caliber Shikamaru Nara could be, he wouldn't have became an orphan. Neji knew he was being illogical, melodramatic and over the top, but he was beyond caring.

Ah, doctor Nara, doctor Nara. How could one be a genius and an idiot at the same time?

Love him, hate him; what was he feeling right now?

--------------------

Just a few small tears between someone happy and one sad

Just a thin line drawn between being a genius or insane

At what age begin to learn of which way out we will turn

There's a long and winding road and the trail is there to burn

There's a thin line between love and hate

Wider divide that you can see between good and bad

There's a great place between black and white

But everyone doth have the right to choose their path that he takes

--- “The Thin Line between Love and Hate” by Iron Maiden

--------------------

“Hyuuga,” Temari greeted as he walked in to the resident locker room and saw Neji sitting on the floor in front of his locker. “Glad I can find you. I was told to… Are you okay?”

Neji looked up from where he was drowning himself in angst. “I'm fine. Just tired. What is it?”

“Here,” the Chief held out a piece of black fabric dotted with neon orange and neon green. “The higher-ups said you'll be wearing this from now on.”

Taking the proffered item from Temari's hand, Neji had to blink several times to accept the fact that yes, he was holding a black scrub cap with neon-colored pineapples.

Great. The black would blend with his dark hair so now, instead of having a head that looked sweetly pink and feminine, he would have a head that looked like a lit-up Christmas tree with tropical theme.

Apparently, fate wasn't a bitch. Fate was a queen bitch.

-----------------------------------------

Awesome.

That was the word that rang in the heads of all ten first year residents as they looked down from the observation room above Operating Room 2, where doctor Anko Mitarashi performed a meningioma resection surgery.

Even before the surgery began, the rookies already gaped in awe when they saw all those high-tech surgical instruments that were going to be used. And even though they realized that this surgery was going to last hours, they refused to sit and chose to stand in front of the glass panel, trying to be as close as possible to the action below.

When the anesthesiologist stepped into the O.R. to put the patient under general anesthesia, their heartbeats got faster and faster because the operation was about to begin.

“How many milligrams of fentanyl, lidocaine, thiopentone sodium and succinylcholine do you think doctor Shiranui is going to use to put the patient under for that many hours without endangering her?” asked Sakura in wonder.

“I'd say… a lot,” replied Ino who couldn't care less. Hell, she wanted to be a surgeon, not an anesthesiologist. Kiba snickered while the rest of them just kept quiet.

“Sakura, how do you know all those things anyway?” asked Naruto, seeing as he didn't recognize at least three substances that Sakura just mentioned.

“Read, of course. I'm so excited about this surgery and decided to do a little research,” replied the pink-haired resident -- whose routine was to dodge blown kisses every morning -- as she glanced at Sasuke, hoping the Uchiha was impressed by her effort and knowledge.

He wasn't.

Naruto turned his attention back into the surgery as the neurosurgeon made a U-shaped incision and used six retractors to retract the skin flap and muscle from the skull.

“Whoa, that was wicked!” exclaimed Kiba. “Oh, look, she's going to do the craniotomy.”

The female neurosurgeon placed burr holes above and below the transverse sinus before drilling the bone over the sinus and taking out the bone flap swiftly.

Once again, various exclamations of marvel were heard in the theatre. It was a wonder, really, that the ten surgeons-to-be still had the willpower to restrain themselves from pressing their faces against the glass panel.

There were more acclamations when Anko made a transverse triangular cut to remove the dura and revealed the tumor. And after this, the goth neurosurgeon and her assistant would begin the painstaking process of removing the tumor. It couldn't be done in a hurry. They would have to resect the tumor millimeter by millimeter.

Sasuke frowned as he saw the person assisting doctor Mitarashi. Although everyone down there were covered from head to toe and wore surgical masks, he could recognize those eyes anywhere.

Itachi.

Just as that thought pass, as though his older brother could tap into his brain, Itachi looked up and stared right at him. The amusement in those cold eyes was palpable, and Sasuke's hatred flared. With his intense stare, the younger Uchiha didn't miss those eyes shifted slightly, focusing on something other than him. There was a flash of interest in those eyes as their focus settled, followed by a calculating glint.

Hn.

The last person his brother stared at this way was that surfer boyfriend of his, Kisame or whatever, before they broke up. Who could've caught Itachi's attention now?

Curious, Sasuke followed that sharp gaze, trailing Itachi's line of sight. And at the end of that line, the younger Uchiha was more than surprised to find…

Naruto?

“Hn.”

-----------------------------------------

Executive Producers

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O.R. Trivia

Who and from what show is dr. Doug Ross? First correct 10 answers will get free trips for two to the beautiful Nostalgia Island of the world-famous Doctors Soap archipelago! Send in your entries now!

Next, on O.R.

To be written.

A brief message from our producers:

We are deeply traumatized by the difficulty of writing this episode. Upcoming episodes will not have detailed operation room scene.

Thank you.