Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Schöner Träumer ❯ 01 The Meeting of the Toad, Hound and Fox ( Chapter 1 )

Kakashi groaned in exhaustion as he made his way to the Hokage Tower, all the while wondering why the Sandaime had called for him. It would be a lie if he said he wasn’t more than a bit worried at the thought of what the summons was for.

Typically if an ANBU was pulled out of leave, it usually wasn’t for a lighthearted chat…well unless there was more than a bit of alcohol involved, but that was an entirely different story.

His ANBU captain had given him a few days to get himself together since Minato-sensei died, too short to really be considered leave but considering the drastic reduction in manpower since the Kyuubi no Yoko attacked, it was more than he could have ever expected.

The silver haired jounin’s thoughts however weren’t on his sensei, not entirely.

His thoughts were on a little baby by the name of Naruto, his sensei’s little boy and the jailer of the demon that killed his father.

Kakashi could close his eyes and see the infant wailing in discomfort as the demon seal newly branded on his stomach pulsed with demonic chakra till the seal took its full effect and sealed entirely as he lay clutched protectively in his dying father’s arms.

It was a truly heartbreaking sight.

He remembered rocking the little baby in his arms as the other ANBU took his sensei’s body to be secured and prepared for being sealed with the bodies of the Shodai and Nidaime. There would be a public funeral, but there would be no body for anyone to look for amongst the rest of the shinobi that died that day.

Ever.

Kakashi wondered what would happen to Naruto. He had turned the infant over to the Sandaime and was certain that the baby was safe, but only for the time being.

There was no other family for the boy to be given to. Uzumaki Kushina was a war orphan, just like Minato and considered many of the people that she served with her family…many of who were now dead in the wake of the Kyuubi attack, were too bound in duty to their clans to really be able to raise the boy the way that his parents had wanted to do so or those who were now revealing how monstrous they truly were.

People like Uchiha Fugaku, who was Minato’s dearest friend.

People like Hyuuga Hizashi and Hiashi, who were Kushina’s old teammates and, for all intents and purposes, older brothers.

The same people who turned their back on the baby when he needed the people that their parents trusted the most to love and protect them in their stead; the same people who, if the whispers among the higher echelons of the ANBU were correct, were eying little Naruto as though he were a grand prize in their struggle to make their clans the most powerful and well respected.

It made sense in a sick sort of way that they would want to take the child though. There have been very few records of demon vessels in history, but those that were known were known to be immensely powerful shinobi able to channel the power of the demons that were sealed within them in battle.

Couple onto that how powerful and skilled his parent’s were and one could easily see that with training, the babe was going to be a very powerful individual when he grew up some.

It disgusted Kakashi to no end and made him resolve to take care of Naruto in their steed. It would be difficult, of that there was no doubt. He did come from a noble clan and that would most definitely help grease the wheels of bureaucracy in getting the little boy but after that he wasn’t certain as to what to do.

Had either Kushina or Minato survived they would be enraged at such a betrayal of their trust and likely enact bloody vengeance.

Kakashi wondered what Obito would say when he learned of this development and smiled a little as he could hear his teammate’s utterance of ‘Assholes’ ringing in his mind clearly.

Assholes, pretty much fit the description perfectly for those who sought Naruto for their own selfish needs.

--

Jiraiya and Sarutobi were engaged in hush conversation, careful not to wake up Naruto, when they sensed Kakashi’s chakra approach the tower.

The Sannin looked to the door with a thoughtful expression, “He’s pretty quick to answer a summons…”

“That is because he is supposed to be on leave and I summoned him without giving a reason, so most likely he believes the reason to be catastrophic or something of the like…,” Sarutobi answered.

Jiraiya shook his head and smirked, “That’s mean sensei, messing with the brat’s head like that.”

The aging Hokage gave him what would have been an innocent look that would have worked had be been thirty years younger or had Jiraiya not known what a sneaky bastard his old sensei could be, “I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re referring about.”

“Right…”

“Moving on, here,” the Sandaime snapped his fingers and a cat masked ANBU appeared with a very large scroll, “These are all the things that you will need in caring for Naruto; clothing, formula, diapers, hygienic wipes to clean him with and so on.”

Jiraiya looked at the scroll with no small amount of trepidation and disbelief, almost buckling under the weight of the scroll.

“What is all of this?!”

The Hokage waived his hand, dismissing the ANBU before turning his attentions to Jiraiya, looking at his former student as those he were an idiot.

“As I said things for Naruto; of course there are things that you are to give to Obito-kun when you see him. We sealed baby furniture, clothing, some toys for Naruto, all types of formula and baby foods…Jiraiya are you listening?”

The Gama Sannin snapped to attention, “Are you sure that he needs so much stuff? I mean, he’s just one baby.”

“Don’t be silly Jiraiya, his clothing will need to be replaced as he grows, as well as his crib, and he’ll need new toys, teething rings later on, different bottles and pacifiers, and so on. But you should at least remember some of this; I remember that you were assigned a very large number of babysitting missions by Nidaime-sama when you were just a gennin.”

Jiraiya paled at the memory.

He and Tsunade had gotten into a screaming match when they were just newly graduated gennin and her granduncle, who had come to congratulate the new kunoichi, had been in earshot when he called Tsunade a flat-chested bitch.

As a direct result, Jiraiya had gone down in the annals of Konoha history as being assigned and completing the most D-ranked missions; all of which involved tending to angry, whiny screaming hoards of children that disliked Jiraiya as much as he disliked them.

Sarutobi recalled that his late sensei the Nidaime took great pleasure in making sure that Jiraiya had only the most horrible brats to tend to. He thought on it for a moment, ‘For being such a kind man, sensei had a rather sadistic streak…’

Jiraiya snapped out of his terror induced stupor and took a deep breath willing the memories of torture given by an evil white haired Hokage.

“There’s no need to worry though, I made sure that there was enough money sealed in there too for things that Naruto is going to need for the next few months as well as a letter for Obito-kun explaining everything that he’ll need. You’ll also be there to aid him and you need to show him how to care for children.”

The sannin shot a glance at the baby in the crib and felt a little better. Naruto was too little to do anything too horrible, and the kid was adorable, so perhaps this wouldn’t be a repeat of his childhood experiences.

After all, the kid hadn’t woken up or fussed or anything of the like.

And a silent, happy baby was a good baby.

At least in his experience.

Minato and Kushina were sweet, even tempered people who had the patience of saints, so it only made sense that their beloved son would be the same.

Jiraiya did a mental victory dance at how easy he was going to have it.

As they were about to continue their conversation, soft whimpering alerted them that Naruto was now awake and not pleased that his slumber had been interrupted by their talking.

Jiraiya went over to the small crib that held Naruto, who was looking very awake and displeased at the face, and picked him up, “There, there kiddo no need to cry, do you know who I am?”

Naruto’s cries halted as he gazed at the visage of the very strange man holding him, large blue eyes blinking in confusion at what the man was going to do.

Sarutobi groaned knowing where this was going, “Jiraiya now is not the tim—“

“HAAH! DON’T FRET OR CRY LITTLE ONE, FOR IT IS I THE GREAT TOAD SAGE OF MYOUBOKU MOUNTAIN JIRIAYA! SO GAZE UPON MY VISAGE LITTLE ONE AND BASK IN WONDER!”

The aging Hokage looked heavenward and wondered if his predecessors were snickering in the spiritual plane at his fortune of having such a…unique student.

As he took a moment to lament Jiraiya’s uniqueness, he snuck a glance at Naruto who appeared to be experiencing a mix of shock and confusion. Things being the way that they were at the moment, Sarutobi was actually amazed that the babe hadn’t started bawling the moment that Jiraiya opened his mouth.

If he were in Naruto’s shoes, or rather diapers, he’d be screaming for someone to rescue him from the crazy man.

Large blue eyes blinked in an almost owlish fashion and Naruto just stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared.

For staring was all the newborn could do, stuck in the arms of a crazy man.

--

Kakashi had made his way past all the security checks on his way to the Hokage. ANBU or not, the village was weakened and it was an ideal time for an assassin to strike the Sandaime in an attempt to permanently cripple or destroy Konoha. Although it wouldn’t be an easy task; people liked to assume that the village leader was a weak, old man when in reality he was still one of the most powerful shinobi in all the elemental countries.

It was a pretty funny affair to see some poor sod piss his pants when the old man dispatched them and waited for the ANBU to come and collect them though.

As the young ANBU made his way to the doors of the Hokage’s office, he was nearly knocked off his socks by the screaming within.

“HAAH! DON’T FRET OR CRY LITTLE ONE, FOR IT IS I THE GREAT TOAD SAGE OF MYOUBOKU MOUNTAIN JIRIAYA! SO GAZE UPON MY VISAGE LITTLE ONE AND BASK IN WONDER!”

Kakashi, all the hidden ANBU, the Hokage’s secretary and quite possibly the whole tower, stood in gob smacked silence wondering in unison, ‘What the fuck?!’

He walked up to the doors to the Hokage’s office and knocked on the door almost hesitantly.

“Hokage-sama, Hatake Kakashi reporting,” he announced.

“Come on in Kakashi, we have much to discuss.”

The young shinobi took a deep breath and entered the office, but not before entering a short prayer to the Gods to spare him from his insane superiors.

--

Sarutobi, having liberated Naruto from Jiraiya was now sitting at his desk with the infant. Naruto, now that the shock had worn off, was gripping the material of the robes the old man wore with great interest.

Jiraiya was busy strapping the giant scroll onto his back, accompanying his summoning scroll.

Kakashi entered the room, looking a little surprised to see Jiraiya there but assumed correctly that he was there due to both Minato-sensei and Naruto. Jiraiya was known for not liking many of the village politics and only becoming involved in such affairs when they pertained to his student Minato and his family. Other than that he was almost never home. His eyes then zeroed in on the Hokage and the blonde baby who was very interested n the robes that the man was wearing.

“Hokage-sama, Jiraiya-sama,” he greeted with the customary bow.

“Kakashi-kun, it is good that you are here,” the Sandaime spoke, “I know that you are on leave now, but I need you to accompany Jiraiya on an important mission immediately.”

The nin blinked, “Of course Hokage-sama. What is the mission?”

Sarutobi motioned to the baby in his arms who was now gazing at Kakashi curiously, “You are aware of how many of the villagers and shinobi view Naruto.”

Kakashi nodded, “They all view Naruto as the demon itself,” he answered, not able to keep the bitterness out of his voice, “and…”

“Yes?” the Hokage prodded.

“Hokage-sama, there have been whispers amongst the ANBU…that certain individuals want to use Naruto as a weapon of some sort…”

Sarutobi nodded sadly, “They are true. The Uchiha and Hyuuga clans are only the most identifiable of those who would use Naruto to further their means. There are various other parties who would do anything to get Minato and Kushina’s son Kakashi and I mean anything.”

“So you and me are going to go and take Naruto somewhere where he can be safe and grow up unexploited,” Jiraiya added.

“A place far from Konoha,” Sarutobi supplied, “The longer Naruto stays, the clearer it becomes that he will be harmed or worse.”

Kakashi nodded in agreement, “Where are we going to be taking him?”

The Hokage smiled, “You two will be taking him to your teammate.”

“Obito?” Kakashi asked.

Jiraiya nodded, “Yes. Everyone here thinks that he’s dead. We are the only one’s that knows that he’s alive. Naruto will be safe there with him, not to mention that we’ll be there for a while too, just to make sure that there aren’t any threats there.”

The young ANBU nodded in agreement, “When do we leave?”

“Tonight and the sooner that you leave the better.”

Kakashi nodded, “Is there anything else that we should know about the mission?”

Sarutobi shook his head, “No. Jiraiya will inform you of any changes to the mission so there is no need to concern yourself with that at the moment. Also Kakashi, you have been chosen for this mission because you are one of the few people that Minato and Kushina would want to raise Naruto, not to mention that Minato taught both you and Obito demonic suppression seals. While I do not believe that you will need to use that knowledge, we must err on the side of caution.”

“Hai Hokage-sama.”

“Good…Kakashi make all the preparations that you need to and Jiraiya will come over to your house in half an hour with Naruto. ”

Kakashi bowed once more before leaving in a plume of smoke.

Sarutobi looked down to Naruto, who was making a drooling mess on his robes, before settling his gaze on Jiraiya who was looking at the abovementioned mess with a grimace. He’d be handling the little drool monster for quite a while now, “Send me word when you reach your contacts.”

“Sure but that’ll take about a week if weather conditions are good enough for the kid to be out, it could take up to two or maybe three weeks if it starts to cool down quickly.”

The Sandaime nodded in understanding and leveled a flat stare at his student, “Try not to corrupt Kakashi too much Jiraiya. He’s one of my best and I’d like him to return without having his mind addled by your books.”

Jiraiya looked affronted, “My books don’t addle anyone’s mind. They are prized pieces of literature.”

“I’ll be sure to tell that to Tsunade, especially when she comes here hunting for your blood. I’ve heard that the lead character on the cover of your latest book bears an uncanny resemblance to her.”

“Aha! So you do read my books!” Jiraiya crowed. The Hokage rolled his eyes in annoyance and got up from his seat and handed Naruto to Jiraiya. The Sannin took the child carefully and held him with a mildly disgusted expression.

“Why is it that every kid I look after drools all over the place?”

--

Kakashi rushed around his house gathering all the things that he thought would be useful on his mission and sealing them on a mid sized scroll.

“Let’s see…weapons check, med kits check, food check, clothes check, money check, blank scrolls check…what else?”

The young ANBU looked around his living room and thought for a moment, “Ah!” before bolting to his bedroom and coming out with a small camera, sealing it away with the rest of his things. Kakashi was planning on giving it to Obito to capture all of Naruto’s first experiences as he was certain Minato-sensei and Kushina-chan would.

As he was rolling up the seal scroll an almost aggravated sounding knocking came from his front door. Kakashi, recognizing Jiraiya’s chakra and heard a baby crying, opened the door to see a frazzled sannin with an unruly infant.

Jiraiya’s eyes zeroed in on the form before him and held Naruto up to Kakashi, “Here.”

Kakashi numbly nodded and took the crying baby from the man and immediately set about trying to calm Naruto down. Immediately doing a check of the most obvious things a baby would cry about.

“Hush Naru-chan, it’s alright…” Kakashi checked his diaper, relieved that there was nothing there, felt the babe’s forehead, everything normal. He pondered for a moment about the various babysitting missions he went on before turning to the sannin.

“Jiraiaya-sama, would you happen to have a pacifier handy for Naruto?”

“Yeah, hold on a bit,” Jiraiya unstrapped a giant scroll from his back, surprising Kakashi who had never seen a scroll of that size. The sannin opened the monstrosity of a scroll and quickly skimmed through the long list of items for what seemed like forever to Kakashi.

Naruto was screaming a fit and Kakashi knew that if this wasn’t nipped in the bud, Naruto would scream for hours.

When Jiraiya finally found the pacifier and unsealed it, Kakashi quickly placed it in Naruto’s mouth, which immediately quieted him down.

Both males sighed in relief at the blanket of silence that settled in the house.

“Thank Kami! He just started crying and crying for no reason at all! I checked everything! He didn’t need a change! He wasn’t hungry! He just wanted to see me suffer!” Jiraiya ranted pulling at his hair, making it stand at every angle.

Naruto happily sucked on his pacifier, while Kakashi held him.

Kakashi looked from the baby to the sannin and back again, resisting the urge to sigh out loud at their antics.

‘It looks like this is going to be an interesting trip.’