Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Side Effects: heiwa no Jutsu ❯ School-Yard Porn Stars ( Chapter 6 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: messypeaches 
Shower sex!
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.26.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 6.4K | Visits: 4.2K | Status: Completed
Shower sex!
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.26.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 6.4K | Visits: 4.2K | Status: Completed
CHAPTER SIX: School-Yard Porn Stars
Iruka woke up horny. His thought patterns went like this:
Muurrggle - Mmph. Aren't I suppose to wake up now? Mmeeeeeh, I guess I can handle this. I could probably just hump this pillow. It feels like a nice set of abs.
Iruka opened an eye and realized it WAS a nice set of abs. His cheek was just above Kakashi’s belly button and he was snuggly under the covers with a hand tangled in his hair.
Ooo, even better I can hump this! He grinned, thinking of wicked ways to wake Kakashi up, glancing to look at his face, and pouted suddenly when he saw the clock. Awwww! I don't have time! He debated for a moment. Horny. On time. Horny. On time. C'mon Sensei you were late YESTERDAY!
It took a moment to untangle the hand. He slid quietly out of bed, located his pants and slid into the restroom, telling himself if he had a quick enough hot and soapy shower he could slink out the door. Maybe over the weekend he could test Kakashi’s willingness to – ahh - help with that particular problem in the morning.
He took a moment to finally get his hair tie out; it was halfway tangled in his hair at the center of a knot. Good thing most of my stuff is still here, he though lazily, running his fingers through the mess as he stepped onto the white porcelain near the drain. He cranked the knobs till the near scalding water hit his upturned face. Ignoring the problem for a moment (which seemed to like the warm water), he scrubbed out his hair till it was acceptably clean and washed off the last traces of sticky ice-cream Kakashi’s tongue had missed. There wasn't much though. He let his mind wander backwards to that tongue, and the mouth it resided in as he leaned against the wall.
"Ah -" He bit his lip, letting his fingers slide down quickly to grip his own throbbing flesh. Sleeping with Kakashi was an unlimited source of random fantasies, not that he'd need them as much. He made some other sound, setting his feet slightly apart and putting his head against his arm, staring blindly at the wall in front of him. It wasn't very hard to imagine the fingers weren't his if he tried, a little more stretching and they could be lips in his head. Kakashi had the devil’s mouth anyway, even just on skin, thinking about that mouth being put to more, interesting uses was nearly enough.
Since he wasn't shooting for romantic, or even ultra-good, just a release, it didn't take long. Or, rather, it shouldn’t have except a tiny puff of cool air hit him, very light, snapping him out of it enough to focus his eyes and look over.
"AH!" He yelped, nearly falling but strong hands grabbed his elbows, righting him.
"SO, I wake up, by myself - a tragedy - but the sheets were still warm. Then I hear the shower, and I think - ah, that's nice! I can just creep in and jump him – but it seems you've started without me - "
Iruka automatically moving his hands in an attempt to cover himself, but Kakashi didn't let go of his elbows in the least, content to hold him there, looking him over. "Kakashi – ah! Let go! I-"
"Think you could do a better job yourself than I could for you?" Kakashi feigned remorse. "I've been dumped for a left hand!"
"No! But- it's -" His mental clock ticked at him. "I've got to be in CLASS in half an hour! I don't have time to do anything more complicated than this!"
"Hmm." Kakashi debated. He still thought it would be good training to make the twerps wait, but if he just slide in anyway and had his wicked way with the teacher, said teacher might be resentful, thus cutting down on quality snogging time later. Plus, said snogging time might be replaced with a lecture.
And that was unacceptable.
Iruka squirmed. If Kakashi were going to jump him, he'd better down it now or give him his hands back. He was so hard it hurt. "Kakashi – ah! Please! Whatever you’re thinking in there, just do it. Go, stay, whatever! Just PLEASE hurry the hell up!"
Kakashi blinked. "Hmm." He leaned forward, nuzzling Iruka nose to nose for a moment. "I'm thinking."
Iruka bit his lip and tried not to flat out whimper. Jerk. He may have squeaked though, because Kakashi smiled. His lips curved enough that Iruka could feel them, but it wasn't a kiss. "I'm thinking that, maybe, I'm in a good position to negotiate." He shifted a leg a little, just enough to brush against Iruka’s side.
"Oh, you evil perverted son of a bitch!"
"Mm. You're cute when you’re homicidal." Kakashi nipped on his ear, stepping into the shower. "What if I can make it good AND fast?"
"Ahh! Oh god -" His legs nearly gave away. "Oh, you – ahh!" He tried to curse, but when Kakashi's tongue hit his ear it became a mess of vowels.
"Mmm? You'll owe me - how's that? Agreed? Anything I want?"
"I'm gonna be laaate!"
"No you won't be. Deal?" Kakashi's voice was nearly a purr.
Iruka nodded, tilting his head to expose his neck.
"Mm, I need a verbal -"
"Yes, dammit! You win! Just help me!"
Kakashi nodded and kissed him, letting his mouth slowly dominate bit by bit until Iruka was dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Then his head dropped, the messy-bed-hair getting soaked and spattered and drooping with wet tendrils, brushing Iruka’s neck. Iruka felt himself getting pushed into the wall as Kakashi went a little lower, startlingly pink tongue flicking out and circling a dark nipple. Iruka tried to move his hands again, but Kakashi had merely shifted his grip to his wrists and was pretty determined to keep them there.
"Ahh! Please! Keep going -" Iruka whimpered, wishing he hadn't. Kakashi bit down on the areola hard enough to turn it red, making its owner yelp. He soothed it with a flick of his tongue and went lower, shifting feet on the water heated tiles to properly molest Iruka’s taut stomach. There was a love bite near Iruka’s hip he paused to refresh a little.
If hitting Kakashi weren’t bound to decrease the odds him of doing what Iruka, really, REALLY hoped he would do, there would be a series of sharp 'bam' noises at this point. Kakashi let his tongue follow the water’s flowing path down the joint. Iruka’s skin was softer there. Kakashi pressed his lips forward a little to feel it, nuzzled, and let go of one of Iruka hands. The suddenly emancipated hand seemed confused as to what to do for a moment, covering its owner’s mouth for a minute, stifling a sharp cry.
The cause of the sharp cry looked up, rather smug with his tongue retreating to the corner of his mouth. It didn't quite go all the way in though, but stayed their like a small flag. Iruka looked at him with a slightly glazed look, some part of his brain registering that the tongue thing was on purpose. All shinobi that did not wish to talk with a lisp due to a short tongue for the rest of their lives kept it out from between their teeth, and a habit like that would have been broken fast. Maybe no one had noticed it, under the mask. Iruka’s eyes widened at the shred of pink slid to the other side of the grinning mouth and realized he was being laughed at.
Kakashi's inner clock was still ticking, however, and he knew exactly how long he had. Keeping as much of an eye on Iruka’s face as he could, he flicked his tongue back out along the side of the straining shaft. The secret, Kakashi decided, to being good at anything bedroom related, is to act like you know what you’re doing and to bear in mind the only other person there is fairly distracted. He nodded his head against the hand that had crept from Iruka’s mouth to ruffle his wet hair. Kakashi hummed slightly, parting his lips and kissing the head of the purple flesh. He could feel the fingers moving through his hair, could almost see Iruka brains trying to think of a polite way to grab a handful of the droopy wet hair and force his face (and mouth) forward.
Kakashi's free hand brushed his hip, then slide down, holding Iruka’s leg. His lips remained in contact, moving as the tongue started to flick out more and more. He felt his hair start to get pulled and ignored it completely, letting his eyes shut, the noise Iruka was making used as a guide.
Judging off the noise, he was doing just fine. He shifted his head to nip at the sides and let go of Iruka’s other hand, using those reclaimed fingers to idly touch at the tip. After a few seconds, mouth and fingers switched, tongue and lips slinking along, taking Iruka in.
"Kak –Kakashi! Ah -" you are so very, very lucky you make being late worth it -
Kakashi grinned rather smugly to himself, albeit awkwardly as even someone like Kakashi had a hard time both grinning and humming. He stopped moving for half a heart beat before resuming at double speed and that was it. The member in his mouth twitched in a variety of interesting and fun ways that Kakashi would have liked to pay more attention to if Iruka hadn't involuntary tightened his grip. Ow fuck - hey! It was lucky for Iruka that Kakashi wasn't a more vindictive person or the encounter might have ended with Iruka getting a few new scars. Oww! It felt like Iruka may have torn a handful of hair out, but that was all right. Hearing his name yelled out like that was more than worth a few dozen follicles.
By the time he'd stopped yelling, Iruka’s legs had nearly given away. Kakashi stood up in a rush and pressed himself against his boneless partner, leisurely licking his chops while Iruka panted.
"Okay." Iruka said, after a long intake of breath.
"Mm?"
"What I said. Okay. I give. I'm late -" Iruka started to lazily nip at Kakashi’s ear.
"Hmmm." Kakashi reaches behind himself and turned something. Iruka didn't catch it until a blast of sub-arctic water hit him in the face.
If you want to know what sort of noise he made just go squeeze the neighbor’s cat into the microphone. And maybe add a little feedback.
Kakashi grinned and picked up the temporarily stunned man, halfway putting him over a shoulder and tossing him unceremoniously out the door and onto the bed.
Iruka regained his senses, bearing just enough to see Kakashi coming at him, a low dark shape with a towel in either hand. "What the FUCK are you -" There was a shriek of raw indignation as he found himself at a MOST inelegant angle, being, apparently, dried off. "I CAN DO THAT MYSELF!"
"Not fast enough! I have to get you to class on time, remember?" was the overly gleeful response and more towels seem to appear. "Don't curl up like that Ruru-kun!"
"ACK!!!" Iruka found himself being tickled and started to thrash. "Ahahaha - You’re a jackass! Ha – ha - STOP it! What are you - AH!" One of his legs was grabbed and straightened and stuffed down a pant leg. The squawking noise continued as his arms flailed for anything, a rock, a kunai, a pillow, a two by four, ANYTHING to beat this maniac off him. He tried to kick but - Dammit! He made clones! It was true too! Three identically naked Kakashi's grabbed his limbs and flipped him so he was face down on the bed, stuffing him into his clothes like so much sausage meat - noisy, protesting sausage meat. His hair was pulled into an off center ponytail and there was sudden darkness as his forehead protector was strapped on over his eyes.
"Now, now. You need breakfast!"
Iruka nearly gagged on the cookie that was stuffed into his mouth. He was still protesting, but now he was protesting as he was trying to chew. The Kakashi's forced his vest on next. He managed to push up enough so that he could see again when he felt himself being dropped onto the ground. He blinked owlishly up, and realized he was in the hallway.
Kakashi (wearing two towels, one around his hips and one around his neck covering his face) looked at a clock. "Alright, now, the annual physical you have to take states that all chuunin have to be able to run a six minute mile. We're a little under a mile from the school, so if you go NOW you SHOULD be able to make it in time." Iruka made a muffled, indignant noise. "Should you fail this, I'll have to recommend that you take the physical over again." Kakashi continued, sounding both bored AND amused somehow.
"MURFFLE!" This probably means, "you wouldn't" in 'mymouthisful-ish'.
"As a Jounin of Konoha, it's my duty to report any possibility that any of the ninja who are or have ever been - ahh - under me remain in peak condition." The look on his face was sly. "It's possible you could argue that the term 'under' means something different, but you only have five minutes to make it to the school. Sure you want to waste it?"
"ARGH!" Iruka yelled, kicking at Kakashi's leg (he sidestepped it in amusement) and scrambled to his feet, removing the cookie. "Argh! I hate you! You're SO going to suffer for this!" He turned to start to run but was jerked back suddenly. Lips sealed over his for a moment, then slid forward to his ear.
"Mm. Have a good day at school." Kakashi purred.
Iruka's eye twitched, but before he could ball a fist to punch the audacious (even if he was a good kisser) jerk in the side of the head, Kakashi had stepped back, pulling the door back into place.
"Better hurry!" Kakashi chirped from behind his makeshift barrier. "Only four and a half minutes now! You better run!"
Iruka was already moving, simultaneously shoving the cookie into his mouth and booking it from rooftop to rooftop to make it to school.
~*~*~*~
Iruka walked into his class and stopped, blinking.
Twenty something very curvy looking girls stared back, all either wearing bathing suits or strategic steam clouds. Did I say very curvy? I'll say it again, and add the footnote that if Iruka hadn't been well pleasured less then seven minutes ago, the nosebleed would have flooded the northern end of the village in crimson. Well, some were total babes and some were semi average, but the effect was still shocking. He felt the first pangs of a head ache as he recognized a particularly curvy, pigtail-wearing nude blonde at the head of the class who waved, seemingly unconcerned with the lack of covering on her or the breeze that was attempting to shift the steam clouds.
"Hey! Iruka-sensei! Just in time!" The blonde yelled.
Indeed he was in time, and at that point the bell rang.
Iruka kept staring for a few minutes, not sure where he was supposed to look. His eyes finally settled on the only fully clothed bimbo there, the dark haired one whom -
Iruka stopped and tilted his head. The dark haired one gave him a blank, slightly sullen look back, and Iruka realized he was looking at the DD-cup version of Sasuke. He was still wearing the same clothes, but the shirt seemed to be the same size as it was stretched to the point where a wide swath of belly-flesh was exposed. Not to mention the shorts were now wrapped around thicker thighs that topped off mile long legs. (We’re going to blame the pile of magazines under Sasuke's bed for this.)
"Naruto, why did you teach my class your stup - ah, signature technique?" Iruka said very quietly. The class fell silent.
"Well -" There was a 'bamph' as Naruto dropped the jutsu, sitting on the edge of the desk. "I woke up this morning when my door exploded -"
"Eh?"
"Both of our doors blew up." Total-Babe-Sasuke said, and Iruka blinked. While Naruto always opted to make his Sexy-Girl speak with a cooing, high school girl tone, Sasuke had made his voice sound like a b-grade porno queen, deep and breathy and in a way that made 'her' chest heave.
Kakashi must be SO very proud of them. Iruka thought. God help me.
"Yes. Anyway, they both blew up at seven-thirty, so when I went into the hall there was this note from Kakashi-sensei that said I had top come here and start that class up early. And that I should teach them something till you showed up, then I'm supposed to help you. This was the first thing I could think of. They picked it up fast."
"I - I see that."
"My note said to bring these." Sasuke said, setting a box on the desk. "We have a few left."
Iruka blinked at the large box of Popsicles staring at him and decided that great sex aside Kakashi had to die. Preferably in a way that involve instruments of death like sporks, potato peelers, lemon juice and ravenous greased gerbils. "Oookay! Thank you. Okay." He shook his head hard. "Alright everyone drop their Oiroke no Jutsu and settle down. We're starting class now."
"Aww! But I don’t have the ass right yet." A curvy redhead said.
"What?"
"Sasuke-sempai said it was too square."
Iruka leaned on his desk for a second and took a deep breath. It was a long, slow inhale and Naruto recognized it and started to back away.
On a good day Iruka could rattle all the windows in his classroom. Today was apparently a GREAT day, as all the windows on that that floor seemed to FLEX. "EVERYONE DROP THE JUTSU NOW BEFORE I GET UNPLEASENT!" He BOOMED, startling half of them back to normal with everyone else scrambling to join them. He then whirled to on an un-transformed Sasuke. "YOU! Porn star! Back to normal! Now, and get your ass off that desk!"
Sasuke blinked and did so, starting to head for the window that Naruto was inching towards. They both stopped as an even fifty kunai sank into the wood of the window frame and the floor around their feet. They both froze and looked at Iruka.
"Oh, oh no. You're going to help me teach. Today’s lesson will be on spotting impersonators." Iruka grinned broadly, maliciously in fact. "Now, it's easy. You’re going to go get the screen from the supply closet, you step behind the screen and two Narutos come out. The class will then throw kunai at whom they think is the false one." He paused. "Extra credit if you draw blood." He sounded far too cheerful about this.
~*~*~*~
Three hours and forty-seven shallow cuts between them later, Naruto and Sasuke had learned something most people don't grasp for a long time - 'watch out for ammeters'.
You see, within a certain skill range, for some things, you’re safe. A journeyman can’t beat a master fencer, any more than the master could take on a wizard-level fencer.
However, a novice MIGHT beat a master. Here's why - A master can predict the moves of a journeyman, it's why he’s a master. he can think farther ahead, plan out an attack to counter the younger or less skilled man’s attack.
But a total, total novice won't DO what you think they'll do. They'll parry not thrust, wave the sword like an idiot and stab randomly. And then they'll kill the master.
Now, let's bring in mind the fact that all the children in Iruka’s class had JUST learned to throw kunai the day before. They threw wide, to the left, all at once, four at a time, in clouds of sharp steel that didn't even go STRAIGH. They'd go end over end and Naruto had been hit between the eyes with the round end twice. It was impossible to calculate where they were all going, and while none of the cuts were serious, they were still gaping wounds to their pride.
Iruka, however, seemed to be UTTERLY delighted with their plight. "That's VERY good, ten points to you for hitting the real Naruto! Extra five for drawing blood!"
"I-Iruka - Iruka sensei!" Naruto protested leaning on his knees. It felt like he'd been running, flipping and ducking in place since they'd started. PLUS he'd been casting and re-casting Henge no jutsu the WHOLE time, trying to look as close to Sasuke as he could, no matter whom they were trying to be. At least when the transformation was spot-on identical about half of the kunai went towards Sasuke.
"Oh, they're just flesh wounds." Iruka said, waving his hand dismissively. "Alright! Very good, class! Now, if anyone would like to try to use some of the larger shuriken or other specialty throwing weapons, like axes, please raise your hand and I'll give you a note to go get them."
Naruto groaned. "Axes? You’re gonna give them AXES?"
"Does anyone even use axes?" Sasuke panted leaning on the wall.
"Well, if they like them today, then maybe they'll become a trend." Iruka sighed and looked at Naruto. "How many of those cuts are real and how many are a part of your illusion Naruto?"
"Umm - only about half are real. But the real ones really sting!" Naruto protested and dropped the illusion.
Iruka looked at the remaining, real cuts and sighed. They probably BOTH deserved more than the damage they had already amassed but they both looked incredibly tired. Plus, Iruka’s conscience had been working on kicking his ass for the last hour and he finally gave in. He looked at the clock. "Alright, practice for today is over, go to lunch." He glanced at Sasuke (who had dropped his 'oh poor me' illusion as well and looked much less bloody) and Naruto. "Pick up those kunai for me and put them away, alright? Then you can go, get your scrapes looked at." He stood up and started to gather the sharp metal bits, tossing them into a crate.
The children filed out, winded with sore throwing arms. Naruto began to pry the kunai out of the wall. "Didn't they kinda’ tear the place up?"
"There's a pretty big repair budget built into a Ninja Academy’s cost projections." Iruka said. "They doubled it after your first year. I suspect it will be cut back soon."
"Figures." Sasuke muttered, walking from seat to seat and gathering up all the kunai that hadn't been thrown. There were near empty crates at nearly every seat, he just dumped them into one and stacked the empties. "How many of these things are there?"
"Oh, two hundred to a crate."
"Ah." Sasuke looked around. There were about twenty crates. He sighed and finished with his small task, going to the front of the room again and helping pick up all the loose ones. Most of them were loose. It took nearly half of lunch to get them all up and stacked neatly in a supply closet. Iruka sat on the edge of his desk and watched Naruto bandage up the one or two cuts that required attention.
"Is that all?" Sasuke asked, wrapping more bandages around his arms.
"Well, for now. But for every confused parent I get, I'm sending them to you to for an explanation." Iruka said, looking at his scribbled down sheet of notes. It'd take him the rest of lunch to sort out the scoring for today's exercise. "Huh. Konohamaru aimed for you every time Naruto. No matter what you looked like."
"Did he hit me?"
"He was the one that drilled you with the round end. I'll give that four points." Iruka said, glancing at his other sheet. "They actually improved today. I may ask you to come in and do that again, if you'd like to be paid in ramen?" He looked up.
Automatically Naruto opened his mouth to agree, then paused. Whether it had been Iruka or not violating their ears with knowledge was suddenly beside the point. All he could think of now was the fake Iruka chanting 'Ramen flavored lube'. But, if he just said no, he'd be passing up ramen. Lube. Ramen. Trauma, trauma food -
Sasuke sighed mentally as he saw the Dobe's brain gears turning. Yes, he had the same mental echo of last night in his head, but if the little blonde moron kept this up, Iruka was going to start asking questions. And if Iruka found out someone had used his face last night for such a demented use, he'd first be embarrassed. Then he’d be homicidal. Then he'd come back and give them some form of lecture. Especially if he found out MORE of the circumstances of the previous lecture. Sasuke kicked Naruto’s ankle. "Sure. If you want." He said blandly.
"Thank you." Iruka looked slightly concerned though, staring at Naruto. "Are you alright?"
"He's probably thinking of how many bowls he can get out of you." Sasuke said, annoyed at having to do cover-up duty alone when Naruto was right there.
"Well, I won't need you to do it for a week or so."
"Okay!" Naruto agreed to that readily. A week? Yeah, he could beat the memory out by then. Iruka blinked at the delayed reaction and made a mental note to grill him over dinner at some point.
"Hmm. It's a deal. DO you have anything else your teacher wants done today?"
"If there's anything else he can come find me." Naruto said, rubbing his head. "I think we can go sleep now. Unless your note had anything on it?"
"If it did it blew up." Sasuke shrugged.
"All right then. Thank you for the help." Iruka sounded like he meant it.
"See you later Iruka-sensei."
Sasuke gave a vague little wave and wandered out after Naruto. Iruka hummed slightly, wondering what was up with the blonde, and going back to the papers. His class had improved immensely. Having moving whiney targets seemed to motivate them, though he tried very hard not to think of the commentary on their character it made. Well, Naruto and Sasuke are both higher level, they had just been motivated to try to improve because of that. Iruka thought to himself. Maybe he could use a few clones next time.
This time he recognized the presence in the room nearly instantly. He barely paused, not looking up and shuffled the papers into a pile, pulling out a clean scroll to re-write his notes down. There was a nearly invisible chakra flare, the shinobi equivalent of a polite cough. Iruka ignored it. There was another 'louder' one that also got ignored, until the wiggling mass of chakra behind him had become the shinobi equivalent of a grand mal seizure combined with an asthma attack.
Iruka pointedly kept ignoring it. There was a soft sigh, and the chakra contracted back to its normal, nearly invisible levels as arms slid around his waist. "Would this have anything to do with the swim suit models that seem to be littering the play area?" Kakashi nuzzled Iruka’s neck, lips pressing thought the mask to kiss at the skin softly.
Iruka groaned. "Oh god. They’re going to think I'm some sort of horrible pedophile."
"A pedophile wouldn't like tits that big." Kakashi mused. "And as their all chattering about 'Naruto-sempai' you're flawlessly in the clear." Neck nuzzling wasn't working, so he brought his hand up and started to fiddle with Iruka’s earlobe. Iruka made a soft noise, trying to lean forward out of range and ignore him.
"Knock it off! I wanna’ get this done." Iruka protested, trying to push away his face.
"Mm, no. I think I should cash in. I think the words were 'anything I want', right?" Kakashi sounded smug.
"That was – ah - not here! And I'm mad at you. Your student taught my class how to look like a gaggle of porn stars!"
Kakashi snickered very softly. "If you think THOSE were porn stars, we need to get you some better material." He started to slide a hand inside Iruka vest through the armhole.
Iruka blushed. "Knock it off! This is a school! Stop!"
Kakashi made a small whining noise that would have made him seem nearly vulnerable to someone who didn't know better. Iruka tried to shove at him again and Kakashi reluctantly let himself be pushed away. "You did promise."
"Kakashi! Lunch is over in fifteen minutes!" Iruka protested. "Wouldn't, that be, ah, wasteful? Of an 'anything'?"
"Not really. If I waited till after school it wouldn't count, cause you'd do it anyway." Kakashi paused. "Unless it was, say, on the table in the teachers lounge."
"No!"
"Hey, what do YOU think those score marks on the leg are?" Kakashi grinned. "It's how the teachers keep track."
"I'm aware of that!"
"Ooo! Any of them yours?"
There was a slight pause that Iruka took to turn beet, beet red. "No!"
"Are you lying?"
"Would I say yes if I was?" Iruka said, cursing the blood in his veins for its treachery in flooding the skin in his face.
"Hmm." Kakashi pulled the chair back out with Iruka in it and swung a leg up and around. Iruka blinked up at Kakashi, who smiled back down. "Please tell me?"
"Get off my lap." Iruka started to blush again for different reasons. Kakashi wriggled his hips in a way that was positively illegal. "AH! No! Stop!"
"Mm. Tell me the story and I might." Kakashi rocked leisurely against him, hands intercepting Iruka’s wrist and holding him there.
"Ahh -" Iruka turned his face away. "It's my fault they HAVE that stupid tradition. The score marks. It was kinda’ an accident." He turned redder. "I lost my - well, you know- on that table."
"No, I don't. Tell me?"
Iruka shut his eyes. "That was, ah my first time. On the table."
Kakashi blinked. "How, utterly scandalous."
"Now will you stop that?" Iruka tried to push him off with his hip but the motion was highly counter productive. Kakashi just rocked against him till he got a moan.
"I'd like more details on this." Kakashi said, craning his neck down to nuzzle at what was fast becoming a wad of goo. "Or a demonstration of some sort. I'd be glad to fill in the role of your fellow table shaker." There was a sudden pain in his arm that made him reflexively let go of one of Iruka wrist and grab his ponytail, smoothly pulling his head back.
Iruka glared at him stubbornly over a mouthful of sleeve. It hadn't torn, just stretched, but Kakashi could already feel the bruise forming on his bicep. After a moment Iruka spat out the material. It felt slightly damp on the skin of Kakashi’s arm. "Well, you weren't listening." He said defensively.
Kakashi just gave him a long, slow-patented stare, the one visible eyebrow arching very, very slowly. Iruka looked back; jaw setting ever so slightly in a stubborn posture.
It was with a very, very deliberate motion that Kakashi let got of Iruka’s hair and pulled down his mask with a kind of slow precision.
The thing, Iruka thought, watching the cloth start to bunch and wrinkle. Is that when he FIRST pulls that mask down, even a kiss is more, like, like oral sex. And he's doing it that way on purpose! Iruka swallowed and Kakashi paused, slightly bemused. The whole thing - the mask, the way he's not pushing it past his chin, the pale exposed skin underneath - oh hell -
Iruka felt the following slow kiss was the single raunchiest act he'd ever been a part of, especially in the classroom. Lips pressed against lips firmly, tongue not begging entrance so much as pushing – thrusting! Oh hell that makes it FAR worse - its way in. Actually, the classroom made it worse. Iruka shut his eyes and let the kiss tilt his head back as his hands formed fists, trying very hard not to moan or whimper. Kakashi broke it off after a minute, possibly two, letting his lips slide down past his ear, along his neck, till his nose was situated somewhere in the stiff collar.
Then he bit down slowly. Directly over the hickey on the neck, the one that showed JUST barely. It wasn't a very gentle bite either. Iruka went still and moaned in pain. He couldn't make himself break free though. Right at the part where skin would have broken and blood would have flowed, those lean pale jaws relaxed. A hot tongue flicked against Iruka’s ear lobe as a deep, rumbling purr of a voice started up like an engine. "Mm. See, if you can bite me, I can bite you. It's only fair."
Iruka whimpered slightly as the now sore soon to be near black area was nuzzled. It took more will power than he felt should be necessary to fight down the urge to bite him again, somewhere, anywhere. "After school - " He turned his head and lips met lips again, teeth nipping at his lower lip lightly. "After school. Come back then."
"Mmm." Kakashi set to work prying the hair tie out of the lopsided, to the left, leaning back a little to examine his work.
"What are you doing?"
"Fixing this. I did a VERY bad job this morning." Kakashi said, running his fingers through the still damp hair. It felt slightly stiff and didn't really want to go where is should, sticking out in funny ways. He got it untangled though, and soon enough had forced it into its usual indignant looking self, even if it was still damp. Iruka decided that the attention was acceptable and slid his arms loosely around Kakashi’s waist. One hand pushed up under the vest to touch the cloth at the small of Kakashi’s back.
"Will you?"
"Come back after class?" Kakashi back arched at the touch slightly, like a cat. "Possibly. Can I meet you in the teacher’s lounge?"
"No. They don't clear out of there till HOURS after school’s done." Iruka was counting backwards from a thousand by prime numbers in his head, attempting to use math as a cold shower. Hard to do when Kakashi did that, little, writhing thing on his lap like a stripper. Though he'd probably stop if I quit touching him under the vest. He glanced at the clock. Five minutes left to lunch.
"Hmm." There was another kiss here, a teasing one. "This does NOT count as my anything."
"Okay." Iruka wondered if the 'anything' could be worse than just having sex on his desk. He'll have more time to think of something now. Oh dear I may have made it worse.
"Hmm-hmm -" Kakashi made a noise like a chuckle, but it was muffled by his lips and distorted by the fact his tongue was in Iruka’s mouth again. Both of them heard the bell ringing, a prelude to the pitter-patter of little feet and malleable minds. Malleable minds that didn't need to see anything that would change the rest of the day’s lecture from 'how to throw things at kids who make me mad' to 'well, when you really love someone'.
Iruka start to break off the kiss, but it just wasn't happening. He was starting to entertain the idea of biting Kakashi’s tongue when a sudden puff hit his face, accompanied by a 'bamph'.
Having your lover go from sitting on your lap to being gone is an annoying but normal side effect to ninja relationships. Having your lover swap himself with the unused training dummy from the corner is probably a less common side effect of a less known condition known as 'dating Kakashi'.
If this can be counted as dating, Iruka blinked at the training dummy. There was a face on it now. I guess ice cream counts as a meal. But what makes a date a date, I mean, really? I guess I could ask someone. Oh god. Ask someone. Never mind scratch that.
Iruka tossed the dummy into the corner, scooting back up to the desk. He knew he was flushed without checking. He also knew that he wasn't going to be able to get up and move. Oh dear. He could hear the kids coming back too. He bit his lip, feeling flustered and quite sure Kakashi had somehow rubbed his smell onto him. The slightly throbbing bite wasn't cooling him down either. Well, he'll be back after school. I shouldn't have to cast it more than, ah, twice?
"Heiwa no jutsu!"
Iruka woke up horny. His thought patterns went like this:
Muurrggle - Mmph. Aren't I suppose to wake up now? Mmeeeeeh, I guess I can handle this. I could probably just hump this pillow. It feels like a nice set of abs.
Iruka opened an eye and realized it WAS a nice set of abs. His cheek was just above Kakashi’s belly button and he was snuggly under the covers with a hand tangled in his hair.
Ooo, even better I can hump this! He grinned, thinking of wicked ways to wake Kakashi up, glancing to look at his face, and pouted suddenly when he saw the clock. Awwww! I don't have time! He debated for a moment. Horny. On time. Horny. On time. C'mon Sensei you were late YESTERDAY!
It took a moment to untangle the hand. He slid quietly out of bed, located his pants and slid into the restroom, telling himself if he had a quick enough hot and soapy shower he could slink out the door. Maybe over the weekend he could test Kakashi’s willingness to – ahh - help with that particular problem in the morning.
He took a moment to finally get his hair tie out; it was halfway tangled in his hair at the center of a knot. Good thing most of my stuff is still here, he though lazily, running his fingers through the mess as he stepped onto the white porcelain near the drain. He cranked the knobs till the near scalding water hit his upturned face. Ignoring the problem for a moment (which seemed to like the warm water), he scrubbed out his hair till it was acceptably clean and washed off the last traces of sticky ice-cream Kakashi’s tongue had missed. There wasn't much though. He let his mind wander backwards to that tongue, and the mouth it resided in as he leaned against the wall.
"Ah -" He bit his lip, letting his fingers slide down quickly to grip his own throbbing flesh. Sleeping with Kakashi was an unlimited source of random fantasies, not that he'd need them as much. He made some other sound, setting his feet slightly apart and putting his head against his arm, staring blindly at the wall in front of him. It wasn't very hard to imagine the fingers weren't his if he tried, a little more stretching and they could be lips in his head. Kakashi had the devil’s mouth anyway, even just on skin, thinking about that mouth being put to more, interesting uses was nearly enough.
Since he wasn't shooting for romantic, or even ultra-good, just a release, it didn't take long. Or, rather, it shouldn’t have except a tiny puff of cool air hit him, very light, snapping him out of it enough to focus his eyes and look over.
"AH!" He yelped, nearly falling but strong hands grabbed his elbows, righting him.
"SO, I wake up, by myself - a tragedy - but the sheets were still warm. Then I hear the shower, and I think - ah, that's nice! I can just creep in and jump him – but it seems you've started without me - "
Iruka automatically moving his hands in an attempt to cover himself, but Kakashi didn't let go of his elbows in the least, content to hold him there, looking him over. "Kakashi – ah! Let go! I-"
"Think you could do a better job yourself than I could for you?" Kakashi feigned remorse. "I've been dumped for a left hand!"
"No! But- it's -" His mental clock ticked at him. "I've got to be in CLASS in half an hour! I don't have time to do anything more complicated than this!"
"Hmm." Kakashi debated. He still thought it would be good training to make the twerps wait, but if he just slide in anyway and had his wicked way with the teacher, said teacher might be resentful, thus cutting down on quality snogging time later. Plus, said snogging time might be replaced with a lecture.
And that was unacceptable.
Iruka squirmed. If Kakashi were going to jump him, he'd better down it now or give him his hands back. He was so hard it hurt. "Kakashi – ah! Please! Whatever you’re thinking in there, just do it. Go, stay, whatever! Just PLEASE hurry the hell up!"
Kakashi blinked. "Hmm." He leaned forward, nuzzling Iruka nose to nose for a moment. "I'm thinking."
Iruka bit his lip and tried not to flat out whimper. Jerk. He may have squeaked though, because Kakashi smiled. His lips curved enough that Iruka could feel them, but it wasn't a kiss. "I'm thinking that, maybe, I'm in a good position to negotiate." He shifted a leg a little, just enough to brush against Iruka’s side.
"Oh, you evil perverted son of a bitch!"
"Mm. You're cute when you’re homicidal." Kakashi nipped on his ear, stepping into the shower. "What if I can make it good AND fast?"
"Ahh! Oh god -" His legs nearly gave away. "Oh, you – ahh!" He tried to curse, but when Kakashi's tongue hit his ear it became a mess of vowels.
"Mmm? You'll owe me - how's that? Agreed? Anything I want?"
"I'm gonna be laaate!"
"No you won't be. Deal?" Kakashi's voice was nearly a purr.
Iruka nodded, tilting his head to expose his neck.
"Mm, I need a verbal -"
"Yes, dammit! You win! Just help me!"
Kakashi nodded and kissed him, letting his mouth slowly dominate bit by bit until Iruka was dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Then his head dropped, the messy-bed-hair getting soaked and spattered and drooping with wet tendrils, brushing Iruka’s neck. Iruka felt himself getting pushed into the wall as Kakashi went a little lower, startlingly pink tongue flicking out and circling a dark nipple. Iruka tried to move his hands again, but Kakashi had merely shifted his grip to his wrists and was pretty determined to keep them there.
"Ahh! Please! Keep going -" Iruka whimpered, wishing he hadn't. Kakashi bit down on the areola hard enough to turn it red, making its owner yelp. He soothed it with a flick of his tongue and went lower, shifting feet on the water heated tiles to properly molest Iruka’s taut stomach. There was a love bite near Iruka’s hip he paused to refresh a little.
If hitting Kakashi weren’t bound to decrease the odds him of doing what Iruka, really, REALLY hoped he would do, there would be a series of sharp 'bam' noises at this point. Kakashi let his tongue follow the water’s flowing path down the joint. Iruka’s skin was softer there. Kakashi pressed his lips forward a little to feel it, nuzzled, and let go of one of Iruka hands. The suddenly emancipated hand seemed confused as to what to do for a moment, covering its owner’s mouth for a minute, stifling a sharp cry.
The cause of the sharp cry looked up, rather smug with his tongue retreating to the corner of his mouth. It didn't quite go all the way in though, but stayed their like a small flag. Iruka looked at him with a slightly glazed look, some part of his brain registering that the tongue thing was on purpose. All shinobi that did not wish to talk with a lisp due to a short tongue for the rest of their lives kept it out from between their teeth, and a habit like that would have been broken fast. Maybe no one had noticed it, under the mask. Iruka’s eyes widened at the shred of pink slid to the other side of the grinning mouth and realized he was being laughed at.
Kakashi's inner clock was still ticking, however, and he knew exactly how long he had. Keeping as much of an eye on Iruka’s face as he could, he flicked his tongue back out along the side of the straining shaft. The secret, Kakashi decided, to being good at anything bedroom related, is to act like you know what you’re doing and to bear in mind the only other person there is fairly distracted. He nodded his head against the hand that had crept from Iruka’s mouth to ruffle his wet hair. Kakashi hummed slightly, parting his lips and kissing the head of the purple flesh. He could feel the fingers moving through his hair, could almost see Iruka brains trying to think of a polite way to grab a handful of the droopy wet hair and force his face (and mouth) forward.
Kakashi's free hand brushed his hip, then slide down, holding Iruka’s leg. His lips remained in contact, moving as the tongue started to flick out more and more. He felt his hair start to get pulled and ignored it completely, letting his eyes shut, the noise Iruka was making used as a guide.
Judging off the noise, he was doing just fine. He shifted his head to nip at the sides and let go of Iruka’s other hand, using those reclaimed fingers to idly touch at the tip. After a few seconds, mouth and fingers switched, tongue and lips slinking along, taking Iruka in.
"Kak –Kakashi! Ah -" you are so very, very lucky you make being late worth it -
Kakashi grinned rather smugly to himself, albeit awkwardly as even someone like Kakashi had a hard time both grinning and humming. He stopped moving for half a heart beat before resuming at double speed and that was it. The member in his mouth twitched in a variety of interesting and fun ways that Kakashi would have liked to pay more attention to if Iruka hadn't involuntary tightened his grip. Ow fuck - hey! It was lucky for Iruka that Kakashi wasn't a more vindictive person or the encounter might have ended with Iruka getting a few new scars. Oww! It felt like Iruka may have torn a handful of hair out, but that was all right. Hearing his name yelled out like that was more than worth a few dozen follicles.
By the time he'd stopped yelling, Iruka’s legs had nearly given away. Kakashi stood up in a rush and pressed himself against his boneless partner, leisurely licking his chops while Iruka panted.
"Okay." Iruka said, after a long intake of breath.
"Mm?"
"What I said. Okay. I give. I'm late -" Iruka started to lazily nip at Kakashi’s ear.
"Hmmm." Kakashi reaches behind himself and turned something. Iruka didn't catch it until a blast of sub-arctic water hit him in the face.
If you want to know what sort of noise he made just go squeeze the neighbor’s cat into the microphone. And maybe add a little feedback.
Kakashi grinned and picked up the temporarily stunned man, halfway putting him over a shoulder and tossing him unceremoniously out the door and onto the bed.
Iruka regained his senses, bearing just enough to see Kakashi coming at him, a low dark shape with a towel in either hand. "What the FUCK are you -" There was a shriek of raw indignation as he found himself at a MOST inelegant angle, being, apparently, dried off. "I CAN DO THAT MYSELF!"
"Not fast enough! I have to get you to class on time, remember?" was the overly gleeful response and more towels seem to appear. "Don't curl up like that Ruru-kun!"
"ACK!!!" Iruka found himself being tickled and started to thrash. "Ahahaha - You’re a jackass! Ha – ha - STOP it! What are you - AH!" One of his legs was grabbed and straightened and stuffed down a pant leg. The squawking noise continued as his arms flailed for anything, a rock, a kunai, a pillow, a two by four, ANYTHING to beat this maniac off him. He tried to kick but - Dammit! He made clones! It was true too! Three identically naked Kakashi's grabbed his limbs and flipped him so he was face down on the bed, stuffing him into his clothes like so much sausage meat - noisy, protesting sausage meat. His hair was pulled into an off center ponytail and there was sudden darkness as his forehead protector was strapped on over his eyes.
"Now, now. You need breakfast!"
Iruka nearly gagged on the cookie that was stuffed into his mouth. He was still protesting, but now he was protesting as he was trying to chew. The Kakashi's forced his vest on next. He managed to push up enough so that he could see again when he felt himself being dropped onto the ground. He blinked owlishly up, and realized he was in the hallway.
Kakashi (wearing two towels, one around his hips and one around his neck covering his face) looked at a clock. "Alright, now, the annual physical you have to take states that all chuunin have to be able to run a six minute mile. We're a little under a mile from the school, so if you go NOW you SHOULD be able to make it in time." Iruka made a muffled, indignant noise. "Should you fail this, I'll have to recommend that you take the physical over again." Kakashi continued, sounding both bored AND amused somehow.
"MURFFLE!" This probably means, "you wouldn't" in 'mymouthisful-ish'.
"As a Jounin of Konoha, it's my duty to report any possibility that any of the ninja who are or have ever been - ahh - under me remain in peak condition." The look on his face was sly. "It's possible you could argue that the term 'under' means something different, but you only have five minutes to make it to the school. Sure you want to waste it?"
"ARGH!" Iruka yelled, kicking at Kakashi's leg (he sidestepped it in amusement) and scrambled to his feet, removing the cookie. "Argh! I hate you! You're SO going to suffer for this!" He turned to start to run but was jerked back suddenly. Lips sealed over his for a moment, then slid forward to his ear.
"Mm. Have a good day at school." Kakashi purred.
Iruka's eye twitched, but before he could ball a fist to punch the audacious (even if he was a good kisser) jerk in the side of the head, Kakashi had stepped back, pulling the door back into place.
"Better hurry!" Kakashi chirped from behind his makeshift barrier. "Only four and a half minutes now! You better run!"
Iruka was already moving, simultaneously shoving the cookie into his mouth and booking it from rooftop to rooftop to make it to school.
~*~*~*~
Iruka walked into his class and stopped, blinking.
Twenty something very curvy looking girls stared back, all either wearing bathing suits or strategic steam clouds. Did I say very curvy? I'll say it again, and add the footnote that if Iruka hadn't been well pleasured less then seven minutes ago, the nosebleed would have flooded the northern end of the village in crimson. Well, some were total babes and some were semi average, but the effect was still shocking. He felt the first pangs of a head ache as he recognized a particularly curvy, pigtail-wearing nude blonde at the head of the class who waved, seemingly unconcerned with the lack of covering on her or the breeze that was attempting to shift the steam clouds.
"Hey! Iruka-sensei! Just in time!" The blonde yelled.
Indeed he was in time, and at that point the bell rang.
Iruka kept staring for a few minutes, not sure where he was supposed to look. His eyes finally settled on the only fully clothed bimbo there, the dark haired one whom -
Iruka stopped and tilted his head. The dark haired one gave him a blank, slightly sullen look back, and Iruka realized he was looking at the DD-cup version of Sasuke. He was still wearing the same clothes, but the shirt seemed to be the same size as it was stretched to the point where a wide swath of belly-flesh was exposed. Not to mention the shorts were now wrapped around thicker thighs that topped off mile long legs. (We’re going to blame the pile of magazines under Sasuke's bed for this.)
"Naruto, why did you teach my class your stup - ah, signature technique?" Iruka said very quietly. The class fell silent.
"Well -" There was a 'bamph' as Naruto dropped the jutsu, sitting on the edge of the desk. "I woke up this morning when my door exploded -"
"Eh?"
"Both of our doors blew up." Total-Babe-Sasuke said, and Iruka blinked. While Naruto always opted to make his Sexy-Girl speak with a cooing, high school girl tone, Sasuke had made his voice sound like a b-grade porno queen, deep and breathy and in a way that made 'her' chest heave.
Kakashi must be SO very proud of them. Iruka thought. God help me.
"Yes. Anyway, they both blew up at seven-thirty, so when I went into the hall there was this note from Kakashi-sensei that said I had top come here and start that class up early. And that I should teach them something till you showed up, then I'm supposed to help you. This was the first thing I could think of. They picked it up fast."
"I - I see that."
"My note said to bring these." Sasuke said, setting a box on the desk. "We have a few left."
Iruka blinked at the large box of Popsicles staring at him and decided that great sex aside Kakashi had to die. Preferably in a way that involve instruments of death like sporks, potato peelers, lemon juice and ravenous greased gerbils. "Oookay! Thank you. Okay." He shook his head hard. "Alright everyone drop their Oiroke no Jutsu and settle down. We're starting class now."
"Aww! But I don’t have the ass right yet." A curvy redhead said.
"What?"
"Sasuke-sempai said it was too square."
Iruka leaned on his desk for a second and took a deep breath. It was a long, slow inhale and Naruto recognized it and started to back away.
On a good day Iruka could rattle all the windows in his classroom. Today was apparently a GREAT day, as all the windows on that that floor seemed to FLEX. "EVERYONE DROP THE JUTSU NOW BEFORE I GET UNPLEASENT!" He BOOMED, startling half of them back to normal with everyone else scrambling to join them. He then whirled to on an un-transformed Sasuke. "YOU! Porn star! Back to normal! Now, and get your ass off that desk!"
Sasuke blinked and did so, starting to head for the window that Naruto was inching towards. They both stopped as an even fifty kunai sank into the wood of the window frame and the floor around their feet. They both froze and looked at Iruka.
"Oh, oh no. You're going to help me teach. Today’s lesson will be on spotting impersonators." Iruka grinned broadly, maliciously in fact. "Now, it's easy. You’re going to go get the screen from the supply closet, you step behind the screen and two Narutos come out. The class will then throw kunai at whom they think is the false one." He paused. "Extra credit if you draw blood." He sounded far too cheerful about this.
~*~*~*~
Three hours and forty-seven shallow cuts between them later, Naruto and Sasuke had learned something most people don't grasp for a long time - 'watch out for ammeters'.
You see, within a certain skill range, for some things, you’re safe. A journeyman can’t beat a master fencer, any more than the master could take on a wizard-level fencer.
However, a novice MIGHT beat a master. Here's why - A master can predict the moves of a journeyman, it's why he’s a master. he can think farther ahead, plan out an attack to counter the younger or less skilled man’s attack.
But a total, total novice won't DO what you think they'll do. They'll parry not thrust, wave the sword like an idiot and stab randomly. And then they'll kill the master.
Now, let's bring in mind the fact that all the children in Iruka’s class had JUST learned to throw kunai the day before. They threw wide, to the left, all at once, four at a time, in clouds of sharp steel that didn't even go STRAIGH. They'd go end over end and Naruto had been hit between the eyes with the round end twice. It was impossible to calculate where they were all going, and while none of the cuts were serious, they were still gaping wounds to their pride.
Iruka, however, seemed to be UTTERLY delighted with their plight. "That's VERY good, ten points to you for hitting the real Naruto! Extra five for drawing blood!"
"I-Iruka - Iruka sensei!" Naruto protested leaning on his knees. It felt like he'd been running, flipping and ducking in place since they'd started. PLUS he'd been casting and re-casting Henge no jutsu the WHOLE time, trying to look as close to Sasuke as he could, no matter whom they were trying to be. At least when the transformation was spot-on identical about half of the kunai went towards Sasuke.
"Oh, they're just flesh wounds." Iruka said, waving his hand dismissively. "Alright! Very good, class! Now, if anyone would like to try to use some of the larger shuriken or other specialty throwing weapons, like axes, please raise your hand and I'll give you a note to go get them."
Naruto groaned. "Axes? You’re gonna give them AXES?"
"Does anyone even use axes?" Sasuke panted leaning on the wall.
"Well, if they like them today, then maybe they'll become a trend." Iruka sighed and looked at Naruto. "How many of those cuts are real and how many are a part of your illusion Naruto?"
"Umm - only about half are real. But the real ones really sting!" Naruto protested and dropped the illusion.
Iruka looked at the remaining, real cuts and sighed. They probably BOTH deserved more than the damage they had already amassed but they both looked incredibly tired. Plus, Iruka’s conscience had been working on kicking his ass for the last hour and he finally gave in. He looked at the clock. "Alright, practice for today is over, go to lunch." He glanced at Sasuke (who had dropped his 'oh poor me' illusion as well and looked much less bloody) and Naruto. "Pick up those kunai for me and put them away, alright? Then you can go, get your scrapes looked at." He stood up and started to gather the sharp metal bits, tossing them into a crate.
The children filed out, winded with sore throwing arms. Naruto began to pry the kunai out of the wall. "Didn't they kinda’ tear the place up?"
"There's a pretty big repair budget built into a Ninja Academy’s cost projections." Iruka said. "They doubled it after your first year. I suspect it will be cut back soon."
"Figures." Sasuke muttered, walking from seat to seat and gathering up all the kunai that hadn't been thrown. There were near empty crates at nearly every seat, he just dumped them into one and stacked the empties. "How many of these things are there?"
"Oh, two hundred to a crate."
"Ah." Sasuke looked around. There were about twenty crates. He sighed and finished with his small task, going to the front of the room again and helping pick up all the loose ones. Most of them were loose. It took nearly half of lunch to get them all up and stacked neatly in a supply closet. Iruka sat on the edge of his desk and watched Naruto bandage up the one or two cuts that required attention.
"Is that all?" Sasuke asked, wrapping more bandages around his arms.
"Well, for now. But for every confused parent I get, I'm sending them to you to for an explanation." Iruka said, looking at his scribbled down sheet of notes. It'd take him the rest of lunch to sort out the scoring for today's exercise. "Huh. Konohamaru aimed for you every time Naruto. No matter what you looked like."
"Did he hit me?"
"He was the one that drilled you with the round end. I'll give that four points." Iruka said, glancing at his other sheet. "They actually improved today. I may ask you to come in and do that again, if you'd like to be paid in ramen?" He looked up.
Automatically Naruto opened his mouth to agree, then paused. Whether it had been Iruka or not violating their ears with knowledge was suddenly beside the point. All he could think of now was the fake Iruka chanting 'Ramen flavored lube'. But, if he just said no, he'd be passing up ramen. Lube. Ramen. Trauma, trauma food -
Sasuke sighed mentally as he saw the Dobe's brain gears turning. Yes, he had the same mental echo of last night in his head, but if the little blonde moron kept this up, Iruka was going to start asking questions. And if Iruka found out someone had used his face last night for such a demented use, he'd first be embarrassed. Then he’d be homicidal. Then he'd come back and give them some form of lecture. Especially if he found out MORE of the circumstances of the previous lecture. Sasuke kicked Naruto’s ankle. "Sure. If you want." He said blandly.
"Thank you." Iruka looked slightly concerned though, staring at Naruto. "Are you alright?"
"He's probably thinking of how many bowls he can get out of you." Sasuke said, annoyed at having to do cover-up duty alone when Naruto was right there.
"Well, I won't need you to do it for a week or so."
"Okay!" Naruto agreed to that readily. A week? Yeah, he could beat the memory out by then. Iruka blinked at the delayed reaction and made a mental note to grill him over dinner at some point.
"Hmm. It's a deal. DO you have anything else your teacher wants done today?"
"If there's anything else he can come find me." Naruto said, rubbing his head. "I think we can go sleep now. Unless your note had anything on it?"
"If it did it blew up." Sasuke shrugged.
"All right then. Thank you for the help." Iruka sounded like he meant it.
"See you later Iruka-sensei."
Sasuke gave a vague little wave and wandered out after Naruto. Iruka hummed slightly, wondering what was up with the blonde, and going back to the papers. His class had improved immensely. Having moving whiney targets seemed to motivate them, though he tried very hard not to think of the commentary on their character it made. Well, Naruto and Sasuke are both higher level, they had just been motivated to try to improve because of that. Iruka thought to himself. Maybe he could use a few clones next time.
This time he recognized the presence in the room nearly instantly. He barely paused, not looking up and shuffled the papers into a pile, pulling out a clean scroll to re-write his notes down. There was a nearly invisible chakra flare, the shinobi equivalent of a polite cough. Iruka ignored it. There was another 'louder' one that also got ignored, until the wiggling mass of chakra behind him had become the shinobi equivalent of a grand mal seizure combined with an asthma attack.
Iruka pointedly kept ignoring it. There was a soft sigh, and the chakra contracted back to its normal, nearly invisible levels as arms slid around his waist. "Would this have anything to do with the swim suit models that seem to be littering the play area?" Kakashi nuzzled Iruka’s neck, lips pressing thought the mask to kiss at the skin softly.
Iruka groaned. "Oh god. They’re going to think I'm some sort of horrible pedophile."
"A pedophile wouldn't like tits that big." Kakashi mused. "And as their all chattering about 'Naruto-sempai' you're flawlessly in the clear." Neck nuzzling wasn't working, so he brought his hand up and started to fiddle with Iruka’s earlobe. Iruka made a soft noise, trying to lean forward out of range and ignore him.
"Knock it off! I wanna’ get this done." Iruka protested, trying to push away his face.
"Mm, no. I think I should cash in. I think the words were 'anything I want', right?" Kakashi sounded smug.
"That was – ah - not here! And I'm mad at you. Your student taught my class how to look like a gaggle of porn stars!"
Kakashi snickered very softly. "If you think THOSE were porn stars, we need to get you some better material." He started to slide a hand inside Iruka vest through the armhole.
Iruka blushed. "Knock it off! This is a school! Stop!"
Kakashi made a small whining noise that would have made him seem nearly vulnerable to someone who didn't know better. Iruka tried to shove at him again and Kakashi reluctantly let himself be pushed away. "You did promise."
"Kakashi! Lunch is over in fifteen minutes!" Iruka protested. "Wouldn't, that be, ah, wasteful? Of an 'anything'?"
"Not really. If I waited till after school it wouldn't count, cause you'd do it anyway." Kakashi paused. "Unless it was, say, on the table in the teachers lounge."
"No!"
"Hey, what do YOU think those score marks on the leg are?" Kakashi grinned. "It's how the teachers keep track."
"I'm aware of that!"
"Ooo! Any of them yours?"
There was a slight pause that Iruka took to turn beet, beet red. "No!"
"Are you lying?"
"Would I say yes if I was?" Iruka said, cursing the blood in his veins for its treachery in flooding the skin in his face.
"Hmm." Kakashi pulled the chair back out with Iruka in it and swung a leg up and around. Iruka blinked up at Kakashi, who smiled back down. "Please tell me?"
"Get off my lap." Iruka started to blush again for different reasons. Kakashi wriggled his hips in a way that was positively illegal. "AH! No! Stop!"
"Mm. Tell me the story and I might." Kakashi rocked leisurely against him, hands intercepting Iruka’s wrist and holding him there.
"Ahh -" Iruka turned his face away. "It's my fault they HAVE that stupid tradition. The score marks. It was kinda’ an accident." He turned redder. "I lost my - well, you know- on that table."
"No, I don't. Tell me?"
Iruka shut his eyes. "That was, ah my first time. On the table."
Kakashi blinked. "How, utterly scandalous."
"Now will you stop that?" Iruka tried to push him off with his hip but the motion was highly counter productive. Kakashi just rocked against him till he got a moan.
"I'd like more details on this." Kakashi said, craning his neck down to nuzzle at what was fast becoming a wad of goo. "Or a demonstration of some sort. I'd be glad to fill in the role of your fellow table shaker." There was a sudden pain in his arm that made him reflexively let go of one of Iruka wrist and grab his ponytail, smoothly pulling his head back.
Iruka glared at him stubbornly over a mouthful of sleeve. It hadn't torn, just stretched, but Kakashi could already feel the bruise forming on his bicep. After a moment Iruka spat out the material. It felt slightly damp on the skin of Kakashi’s arm. "Well, you weren't listening." He said defensively.
Kakashi just gave him a long, slow-patented stare, the one visible eyebrow arching very, very slowly. Iruka looked back; jaw setting ever so slightly in a stubborn posture.
It was with a very, very deliberate motion that Kakashi let got of Iruka’s hair and pulled down his mask with a kind of slow precision.
The thing, Iruka thought, watching the cloth start to bunch and wrinkle. Is that when he FIRST pulls that mask down, even a kiss is more, like, like oral sex. And he's doing it that way on purpose! Iruka swallowed and Kakashi paused, slightly bemused. The whole thing - the mask, the way he's not pushing it past his chin, the pale exposed skin underneath - oh hell -
Iruka felt the following slow kiss was the single raunchiest act he'd ever been a part of, especially in the classroom. Lips pressed against lips firmly, tongue not begging entrance so much as pushing – thrusting! Oh hell that makes it FAR worse - its way in. Actually, the classroom made it worse. Iruka shut his eyes and let the kiss tilt his head back as his hands formed fists, trying very hard not to moan or whimper. Kakashi broke it off after a minute, possibly two, letting his lips slide down past his ear, along his neck, till his nose was situated somewhere in the stiff collar.
Then he bit down slowly. Directly over the hickey on the neck, the one that showed JUST barely. It wasn't a very gentle bite either. Iruka went still and moaned in pain. He couldn't make himself break free though. Right at the part where skin would have broken and blood would have flowed, those lean pale jaws relaxed. A hot tongue flicked against Iruka’s ear lobe as a deep, rumbling purr of a voice started up like an engine. "Mm. See, if you can bite me, I can bite you. It's only fair."
Iruka whimpered slightly as the now sore soon to be near black area was nuzzled. It took more will power than he felt should be necessary to fight down the urge to bite him again, somewhere, anywhere. "After school - " He turned his head and lips met lips again, teeth nipping at his lower lip lightly. "After school. Come back then."
"Mmm." Kakashi set to work prying the hair tie out of the lopsided, to the left, leaning back a little to examine his work.
"What are you doing?"
"Fixing this. I did a VERY bad job this morning." Kakashi said, running his fingers through the still damp hair. It felt slightly stiff and didn't really want to go where is should, sticking out in funny ways. He got it untangled though, and soon enough had forced it into its usual indignant looking self, even if it was still damp. Iruka decided that the attention was acceptable and slid his arms loosely around Kakashi’s waist. One hand pushed up under the vest to touch the cloth at the small of Kakashi’s back.
"Will you?"
"Come back after class?" Kakashi back arched at the touch slightly, like a cat. "Possibly. Can I meet you in the teacher’s lounge?"
"No. They don't clear out of there till HOURS after school’s done." Iruka was counting backwards from a thousand by prime numbers in his head, attempting to use math as a cold shower. Hard to do when Kakashi did that, little, writhing thing on his lap like a stripper. Though he'd probably stop if I quit touching him under the vest. He glanced at the clock. Five minutes left to lunch.
"Hmm." There was another kiss here, a teasing one. "This does NOT count as my anything."
"Okay." Iruka wondered if the 'anything' could be worse than just having sex on his desk. He'll have more time to think of something now. Oh dear I may have made it worse.
"Hmm-hmm -" Kakashi made a noise like a chuckle, but it was muffled by his lips and distorted by the fact his tongue was in Iruka’s mouth again. Both of them heard the bell ringing, a prelude to the pitter-patter of little feet and malleable minds. Malleable minds that didn't need to see anything that would change the rest of the day’s lecture from 'how to throw things at kids who make me mad' to 'well, when you really love someone'.
Iruka start to break off the kiss, but it just wasn't happening. He was starting to entertain the idea of biting Kakashi’s tongue when a sudden puff hit his face, accompanied by a 'bamph'.
Having your lover go from sitting on your lap to being gone is an annoying but normal side effect to ninja relationships. Having your lover swap himself with the unused training dummy from the corner is probably a less common side effect of a less known condition known as 'dating Kakashi'.
If this can be counted as dating, Iruka blinked at the training dummy. There was a face on it now. I guess ice cream counts as a meal. But what makes a date a date, I mean, really? I guess I could ask someone. Oh god. Ask someone. Never mind scratch that.
Iruka tossed the dummy into the corner, scooting back up to the desk. He knew he was flushed without checking. He also knew that he wasn't going to be able to get up and move. Oh dear. He could hear the kids coming back too. He bit his lip, feeling flustered and quite sure Kakashi had somehow rubbed his smell onto him. The slightly throbbing bite wasn't cooling him down either. Well, he'll be back after school. I shouldn't have to cast it more than, ah, twice?
"Heiwa no jutsu!"