Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Side Effects: heiwa no Jutsu ❯ No Title here. ( Chapter 8 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
CHAPTER EIGHT: The Food Chapter
There was a muffled reply from somewhere deep under the covers. After a moment a messy blonde head stuck out.
"It's early go away-" And the head started to retreat.
"Dobe, it's eight at night. And I wanna know where you got the dim-sum."
"The dim-sum in the bowl… in your fridge. It's really good."
"Oh. Cool the food fairy left dim-sum. Check the freezer it might have left other stuff."
There was a pause where Sasuke had to fight the urge to spit out the bite in his mouth. He didn't, because he'd already eaten half of them and if he was going to die of poison half a bite would not save him.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Check the freezer." Naruto sat up on his bed, wrapped up with the blankets forming a hood.
"No, no the part before that."
"Food shows up in my fridge and freezer. Has since. I dunno. Month or so after graduation." Naruto yawned slowly. "Dim-sum? Any good?"
"No, no, the very first part before that."
"Yeah… Care to explain that?"
"A food fairy. Or something. Or I have an enchanted fridge. Whatever. Is the dim-sum any good?"
"You, you EAT food that just, MAGICALLY shows up in your fridge?" Sasuke felt his eye twitch. "It could be poisoned!"
"But it's not." Naruto yawned. "It's not ramen but it's usually pretty good."
"You aren’t supposed to eat things that just- show up!"
"It's always fresh." Naruto shrugged, getting out of bed and dragging the covers with him. "Lemme have some?" Eye still twitching, Sasuke handed over the bowl and chopsticks.
"Mm. Good." He started to sit at the table and realized the one leg was still missing. "Remind me to fix that later." With a half turn Naruto flicked his freezer open, peering inside. "Oh good it took the mochi."
"Eh? You, feed it?"
"Well, it left a bunch of stuff and then took it back. I was concerned I'd hurt it's feelings or something and started leaving stuff for it. Mostly those tins of tea but I didn't know if it'd like ice-cream." Naruto titled his head. "Hey, there's cookies in here. Cool."
Sasuke sighed. "There is someone who breaks into your house on a regular basis… Takes your food, leaves things… and you think it's cool?"
"I ignored it at first. But the fridge was getting crowded. And it smelled good." Naruto hopped on the counter, still finishing the dim-sum off. "Besides, it didn't kill the rats. But they may be evil so I'm not sure if they count."
"You have evil rats?"
"Used to be infested in this building till I learned to throw shuriken. Then they mostly cleared out but there are still a few that run across the roof occasionally."
"And that makes them evil?"
"No. The fact they work together in teams to steal food makes them evil," Naruto said. "I've seen them carry off hams before. Here. I'll show you." He grabbed a cookie and walked to the widow, tossing it open. Cold air rushed in and Sasuke crossed his arms, wondering where his shirt was this time (he'd taken a shower, you perverts, they had both been covered in muck). Naruto seemed oblivious to the cold but then he was wrapped in a blanket. He glanced at would-rather-die-than-shiver Sasuke and held out the edge. "Really. Come here. I'll show you."
Sasuke slunk in next to him. He had to admit the blonde was pretty warm.
"Now, watch." Naruto dropped the cookie as they leaned over the sill. It fell and plopped partially into a puddle. It sat there a moment.
"What am I looking-" Sasuke stopped talking as three large, sleek looking rats shot out of a shadow, grabbed the cookie and carried it off. He paused.
"Those were... unnaturally large."
"Look kinda like puppies." Naruto got ready with a kunai and dropped another cookie. This time only one ran out, and Naruto drilled it. "See, if I don't do that after feeding them they start to climb up the walls and stuff."
"That's not… normal rat behavior."
"I never said it was." Naruto yawned. "When are we supposed to meet tomorrow morning? Usual time?" Sasuke nodded. The rats being large and organized hadn't distracted him from the issue of the food fairy.
"Probably be a good idea to go early this time."
"Why? He's not gonna be early. He knows we're going to be there." Naruto rubbed his eye. "Dammit. I'm awake now."
"You'll fall asleep at some point." Sasuke said, leaning against his side. "DO you have any food that wasn't left by fairies?"
"Ahh, I have twenty seven flavors of ramen. Thirty-two different brands. And a jar of ubemoshi." Naruto leaned back, a little harder.
"And you have plums why?" Sasuke set his shoulder down and pushed. What had started as being almost an affectionate gesture was going to become a shoving match, he could tell.
"There was rice too but it went bad." Naruto said simply. "And knock it off." He pushed slightly.
"Knock what off?" Sasuke said, setting his feet.
"That!" Naruto went back a little and surged forward, shoulder bone hitting shoulder bone. "Ha---aaah!" He had started to laugh but forgotten that he had been wrapped in the same large blanket, and instead yelped as they both fell over.
It is hard to fall gracefully when wrapped in a blanket and being landed on, but it's still possible to look fairly aloof and Sasuke could pull that off nicely. It lasted until he had to grab Naruto’s wrists before he got hit in the face.
All pretty boys have a ‘not-the-face!’ mentality whether they know it or not.
What happens next is fairly predictable. Well, up until the rest of the dim-sum spilled and a sort of bizarre food fight thing. This was followed by an argument over zucchinis, punctuated with several 'no way in hells', a few colorful insults and a score of new bite marks.
Sakura woke up still feeling grimy. After Kakashi had given her the rest of the day and the next off, she'd gone home, showered, waved at her parents and passed out on the bed. Now she was awake, rested, and still felt dirty. So after another shower that her stomach rumbled through, she redressed and went out for a walk.
She'd gotten the impression that while she got tomorrow off, Naruto and Sasuke were going to spend it doing something menial. Maybe I'll go practice basic jutsu. Or something. I'll go study. See if I can learn something new and interesting Sasuke might like.
Sakura sighed. Sasuke hadn't been at his house. And she didn't know where Naruto lived. I should probably know that, where he lives. He is on my team, after all. Not that Sasuke would be at Naruto’s, but Naruto might know where he is. And I still have to seriously hurt him for the hand shaped bruises on my chest… Uhhhh.
And if your trying to find Naruto- Sakura felt her stomach rumble and admitted to ulterior motives as she slid past the hanging to sit on a stool at Ichiraku.
"Omigod omigod, REALLY? The cute little shy one who here's all the time with Naruto the bottomless pit? You're kidding."
"No, not really I heard Anko talking about it with Kurenai, you know them- Oh, you have a customer."
"Hello, may I help you?" The girl smiled, trying not to giggle.
"Heh. Oh, my break’s over I gotta go." The dumpling waitress took off, going back to work. Her sister kept giggling as she took Sakura’s order.
"Umm. Have you seen Naruto?"
"Oh, no not tonight." Ayame paused. "Actually, I haven't seen him for a few days. I almost thought he was out on a mission."
"No, we're not." Sakura quashed her inner voice that was wailing about the other girl leaving thus cutting off the gossip stream. She smiled broadly as the huge bowl of noodles was set in front of her. "Is there any ginger?"
"Oh, yes here, there's garlic too-" The tubs of seasoning got set down and Sakura cheerfully dumped the bright red ginger into the noodles. "Anything else?"
Sakura shook her head, snapping the chopsticks apart. "Itadaikimasu." She then commenced maneuvering half of the hardboiled egg into her mouth. It tasted SOO good. She'd had maybe a cup worth of berries yesterday, and this stuff was now pure elixir to her tongue. First I'll eat the egg, then the noodles, then the pork- I sound like Naruto- but who cares this is SO good-
"Soo…. How long has your teacher been, you know… With him?" Ayame asked, starting to wipe down things behind the counter.
Sakura felt the smooth sides of the egg slide halfway down her throat ands stay there. She turned a shade of blue that matched the shadows of the snowfall before the egg slid back into the right tube and went down into her stomach. "Huuu- huuu-" She sucked air down, making herself take a drink of cold water.
"Are you okay?"
"Ye-yes. I'm sorry, I missed the question?"
"How long has your teacher been with Iruka-san?"
"I… honestly don't know." Sakura said calmly. HOLY FUCK Inner Sakura said, sitting up. "Umm, where did you hear that?" WE MUST VERIFY SORCES--- Inner Sakura was taking notes at a fast and furious pace, and we MUST - Oh, something! It is SO time to practice our information gathering skills!!
"My sister works at the dumpling stand, she heard, ahh, the female teacher with the red eyes? Kurenai, I think, and another jounin talking. Apparently-" Ayame paused, not wanting to relay ALL the details she'd gotten to the obviously underage genin. "They were, umm, making out in the teachers lounge." It was partially a lie but she reasoned there was probably SOME making out before everything else happened.
Sakura blinked and chose not to think about that image… Not that it was a BAD image, really… but she had to take orders from Kakashi and really, really needed to not have that picture in her head - Inner Sakura cackled. We need real photos! Bending her head down, she went back to eating. Insane news or not, unless Sasuke showed up to declare his love or Kakashi and Iruka showed up to make out on the table in front of her food came first. Halfway through the bowl she was able to think again.
First thing was, obviously, double-checking the rumor. It was possible Ayame had gotten it wrong, somehow. Possibly misheard. But Sakura wasn't going to buy anything that… Sexy? Inner Sakura attempted to supply a few more adjectives that out Sakura ignored. She wasn't going to buy anything that….
Sakura finished her noodles without managing to think of a good word for to define the news as. Scandalous, maybe. It wasn't as if the two worked together so the odds of there being a Konoha policy against it were nil. In fact, there wasn't any real reasons she should care, if she though about it but-
Information like that sitting unconfirmed was made to be shared. Or at least verified. The broth in the bottom of the bowl tasted good too. Inner Sakura was formulating a plan, or trying too. How her inner self had gotten hold of that felt board was simply beyond the outer selves scope of imagination. Her stomach purred at her in thanks for the food, so she paid and left.
With her evening sufficiently de-railed, Sakura set her mind to work dissecting virtually everything that she'd ever seen either teacher do. It wasn't giving her much… But then, logically, it shouldn't be. Relationships might not be frowned upon, but making their personal life public wasn't something either teacher was famous for. In fact, there wasn't a whole lot of information she had on either one. Nothing she'd caught on the few times she'd seen them together (together, in the same room for whatever reason) had smacked of anything other than casual acquaintance.
Well. Now she'd know to look. Probably fast. Now that she thought of it, if the rumor spread Naruto might do something insane in an attempt to squelch it out. Like standing on a roof and yelling 'Kakashi and Iruka AREN'T dating so stop talking about it!' Or something of that nature.
Sakura made a mental vow to keep an eye on both sensei. Inner Sakura made a mental vow to get good pictures once proof was obtained.
Iruka woke up insanely early. It made sense, he'd fallen asleep pretty early the night before but it was still at LEAST a full two hours before dawn.
That only meant, for the first time in five mornings, he'd gotten up at the right time. He usually got up at four and ran for a good hour and a half to start every day- he liked running. He started to shift, and the weight across his chest pinned him back down. Iruka sighed, tilting his head with a smile as Kakashi sleepily nuzzled his neck.
"Between the ice cream and this- I'd swear you were trying to make me fat." Iruka mumbled shifting his legs. They were neatly interlocked with Kakashi’s. The only way he was getting out of the bed was if Kakashi let him go or he put up a fight. "I need to go run-"
"Chase the kids." Kakashi grumbled, tightening his grip a little.
"Naruto's not in my class anymore, it's not nearly enough exercise. And what if SOMEONE decides to randomly test me?" Iruka tweaked Kakashi’s nose and got his fingers nipped at. "Are you gonna let me run?"
"Hmmmm… maybe." Kakashi shifted, nipping at his ear. "Right after breakfast…" His voice was still drowsy, a low monotonic collection of words.
It was pretty tempting. Kakashi shifted over him, and Iruka felt the heat shift as well, the warmth from the contact merge with the heat that seemed to drift down off him. With the blankets it was like being in a warm tent. With the lips and teeth lazily molesting his neck it was REALLY tempting.
"What does breakfast come after then?" Iruka set his fingers to tease at Kakashi's ear lightly, letting his eyes shut.
"This isn't breakfast?" Kakashi said quizzically, turning his head and kissing his fingers again. "I think this is breakfast."
"Oh, you think it is therefore it is?"
"Yes. I declare it so." Kakashi smiled and kissed Iruka properly.
"Mmm." It was a nice kiss, slow and lazy, but Iruka’s guilt mechanisms kicked in. "I think you can have breakfast after my run then."
"You… Are entirely too cognizant in the mornings aren’t you?" Kakashi bite the lower lip slightly and slid off to the side bonelessly. "Mmmph. Fine. Go run away from me. I'll just suffer here in hunger, you heartless so-and-so."
"What, can't feed yourself?"
Kakashi made a pathetic little whimper, kissing Iruka’s shoulder as he started to slink out of the bed. "But that'd be like eating ice cream with a spoon. It's just not right."
Iruka sat up, looking down to fluff Kakashi hair. "Feed yourself, or fast for a bit, those are your choices."
Kakashi kissed his hipbone, then shifted and sat up too, nuzzling. "No appetizer?"
"No." Iruka said, standing up.
"Not unless you use your Anything for it." Iruka tossed yesterdays clothes to the hamper, locating new pants.
"That's cheap." Kakashi flopped onto a pillow and gave Iruka a pitiful look through a messy white veil. "What'll a Something get me?"
"A what?" Iruka sat on the edge of the bed to pull his sandals on. Kakashi shifted and started to kiss the back of his neck slowly, brushing hair out of the way. "Ah-"
"It’s like an anything but less dramatic." Kakashi explain, brushing more hair out of the way to plant soft kisses around Iruka’s neck settling around his pulse settle about his pulse. "Right now, a something would be for you to crawl back into bed with me for the next half hour- THEN go on your run."
"Ah." Iruka relaxed for a moment, guard slipping and Kakashi’s arms went around his waist, hands pressed palm-flat against his belly. "Ah! I didn't say I would!" He stood up, Kakashi let his hands linger before they r slid off. Iruka was flushed again, grabbing his shirt.
"Maybe later but I really need to get back to running."
"So you'll owe me?" Kakashi perked a little.
"Yes- wait-" Iruka pulled down the edge of his shirt and his head popped out like a turtle.
"Ah- too late!" Kakashi cut in before Iruka could take it back.
"You're pretty damn cognizant yourself." Iruka said, grousing. Kakashi laughed and curled back up, out of sight. "You bastard, you’re going to drill me with them all at once aren't you?"
"You're crabby before you get your coffee." Kakashi commented. "I did not know that."
"How do you know I drink coffee?"
"Same way I found out you liked ice cream. You leave all kinds of things on your counter when you're flustered."
"You're rather nosey…" Iruka mused, pushing his hair back and up. "Were you looking for something in particular?"
"Well. I think my logic at the time was to make sure you didn't have some sort of small, candle light shrine to me in your closet when I was getting your clothes. And the ice cream cartons caught my eyes because there were just so many of them. After that it was mostly being nosey. And it was mostly in the kitchen. Though you do have an uncanny amount of hair ties."
"They always break at the end of the day." Iruka said, shrugging. "I put them in so tight."
"Yeah there's a lot of things about you that are kinda tight." Kakashi said. "Oof!" The noise was from Iruka hitting the Hatake-shaped lump in his bed with a pillow. The lump laughed softly. "Hurry back I'm hungry."
Iruka shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. "Yeah, maybe, okay? I'll get back when I get back." Mentally plotting his course he left, semi waving over his shoulder.
Kakashi waited till the door clicked shut before slinking out and making a normal breakfast to amuse himself before the real meal trotted back home.
He made it to the edge of the village before he started to laugh softly to himself, his breath hanging in the air.
White. His favorite color is white- Iruka grinned foolishly, stretching and breaking into a loping run. There was a moment of oddness in his legs as they stretched, but it was gone nearly instantly. It wasn't like he'd quit for a month, after all, he reasoned, ducking down and lunging up, over thick twisting roots. He loved this forest. With noiseless shift of weight he was in the branches of the trees, still running in leaps and bounds. His goal was normally not a huge effort to make, but with the stalling that morning- he doesn't like tempura. Iruka shook his head, trying to make himself stop thinking about- breakfast, acccck stop that you're going to run into a tree Iruka…-distracting things.
His run encircled the village. The goal was to make it to a large old oak tree on the eastern side just as the sun was about to rise. If you were too fast the tree was in darkness and a PAIN to scale. If you were too late, when you hit that top branch, worn smooth by his feet, the sudden blast of sun would just about blind you. And because that top branch was so smooth by now, the sudden pain of light would occasionally make him fall into the river. Okay. So that hadn't happened by accident in years but he'd done it once in the middle of winter and nearly caught his death with the flu of doom.
He barely made it today, hitting the smooth patch and diving forward to crouch on a lower shaded branch as the sky caught fire with the first rays of day. This was normally the part Iruka sat down for, watching the sky change. There were just enough clouds in the sky to make it absolutely perfect too, all lit up around the edges in gold, soon to be red.
And later in the day? White. Fluffy white. Like a certain someone's hair. Iruka mentally apologized to nature for ignoring the show and dropped to the forest floor. No running along the river for an extra hour today, he decided with a grin. The grin became gritted teeth and he bore down and booked it across the undergrowth. The thick layer of fallen leaves helped too, it was a silent run. This was the stealth, after all. He aimed into the shadier parts of the morning and focused on blurring his outline.
It was an overly nice day. Iruka loved it, the mist clinging to him as it rose off the grass, soon to be dew. He felt it hit him when he went through it, weighing down his clothes and shoes. His toes felt wet subject established, every breath he pulled in was cold and damp and it got in his hair. As he got home he shook it out of it's ponytail.
It smelled like Kakashi had chosen the less crude way to start breakfast, a bakery time smell was oozing under his door.
"Hey I'm- mmm!"
He'd barely gotten in the door when a chunk of bread like stuff was popped into his mouth. That was okay, but it was done simultaneously with Kakashi pressing his semi clothed, warm body against him, biting at his ear softly. Reflexively his arms went around him. And Kakashi chuckled, sliding his arms around Iruka’s waist.
"Mmm." Iruka relaxed, bringing a hand up to take the bread thing out of his mouth. "What is this?"
"Fast rising breakfast bread."
"Tastes like sweet rations." He was right, it was good, dense and chewy with chunks of what was either fruit or nuts or both in it. It was, however, totally impossible to eat as Kakashi was nuzzling eagerly at his neck. "Ah!"
"Can I eat first?" Iruka protested weakly.
"Breakfast." Kakashi said calmly, pushing even closer as Iruka’s back met door. "You have time, if you eat as you walk to class."
"Will I be walking or running today?" Iruka liked the transition from misty cold to warm nuzzle, it made his skin tingle more than normal at the touch.
"That depends on how much time and energy you force me to expend to get you undressed." Kakashi said meditatively. His back arched as Iruka settled a hand on the exposed skin between his shoulders. "And how fast we can warm your hands."
"Heh." Iruka slide his cold fingers down Kakashi spine. The man wasn't wearing much, just the pants he'd had yesterday and not a lot else. That was very acceptable at the moment, Iruka let his lips settle on Kakashi’s collarbone. Iruka paused a moment and let his hands drop lower, pulling Kakashi’s hips forward by way of bum-grab. "Isn't warming my hands your job?"
"Ah, really? I was unaware of that part. I though I just had to make you blush." Kakashi set his hands on Iruka hips, locking them to him, and stepped back. "Or squirm. Or moan."
"I like that last one best-" Iruka stepped with him. "You can do that."
"Mm. I like that one too." Kakashi swayed, humming slightly and nuzzling at his neck. Iruka smelled like wet mornings, green things and clean sweat. It was a very pure aroma, he opened his lips a little to swallow it in. Iruka’s earlobe was a tempting target and he nipped at it gently. "Do you dance?"
"Do I what?" Iruka kissed at the skin he could reach, then turned his head to make eye contact. "Dance?"
"Mm. Do you?" Kakashi set a hand at the small of Iruka’s back, straightening up. He took his other hand and laces his fingers with Iruka. Iruka blinked and shook his head.
"Not, really. I mean, not anything you'd really call dancing." Iruka felt Kakashi take a half step back and stepped with him automatically.
"Watch the toes. Your feet are still cold after all..." Kakashi smiled.
"What would YOU call it then?"
"Umm.. Bumping and grinding like a hormonal teenager?"
Kakashi grinned. "Ahh, yes. Drunken party dancing."
"Yeah. That." Iruka blushed slightly. "I was a stupid teenager, okay?"
"Ah yes. You just reminded me,-" Kakashi tightened his grip a little, setting his nose to Iruka’s. "-About that first cut on the table…"
"Oh no -please-" Iruka tried to wriggle free, blushing. Kakashi grinned.
"Who was it?"
"Not telling!" Iruka was VERY red now.
"Cause…" Iruka flushed deeper. "Just- cause… it was awkward and messy and- and the cut was an accident- and I didn't know she was-" He clamed up.
"She was what?" Kakashi grinned suddenly. "Was she a he?"
"I was horny not STUPID. I think I would have NOTICED that." Iruka retorted.
"What was she then? Engaged?" Kakashi took a half turn and kissed Iruka’s other ear.
Iruka shook his head. "Not… technically?"
"Married women aren’t engaged… Technically." Iruka flushed.
There was a moment of dead silence. Kakashi gave him a very serious look.
"So you’re an adulterer?"
"Well Iruka I must say I've very disappointed to hear about your reprehensible past behaviors." Kakashi looked soberly serious. "Think or the horrid example it'd be for your students if they found out."
"I know! I know that- why do you think I'm so ashamed of it?" Iruka pulled his hands free and covered his face. "Dammit, it was so stupid of me-"
Kakashi nuzzled his hands gently. "I'm only teasing."
"She kinda grabbed me- okay?" Iruka kept his face covered, letting an eye peek out. “She kinda- just- grabbed me and-”
“Had her wicked way with you?”
“No- I’m not- I’m not trying to be a victim but I didn’t start it!” Iruka shook his head, pushing his hitai-ate up and off and rubbing his temples. “And I was too damn young to do anything like that-“
“How old were you?”
Iruka sighed, and leaned against him. Wisely, Kakashi shifted his arms, bringing him in protectively. “It was four days before my fourteenth birthday. I just I looked older. She freaked out when I told her... after.” Iruka looped his arms over Kakashi’s and around his back. "The whole thing was stupid. I wish you hadn’t asked about it, just to make me blush.”
“Oh… but I’m glad I did. I’m learning so many things about you this way... Making you blush. It's a learning experience. What other horrid little secrets do you have under the red wrapper?” Kakashi smiled apparently satisfied with his fact-finding results for the day. He put his fingers to Iruka temples and made circles, till Iruka’s eyes slid shut. “Though I do apologize, I was expecting a slightly, lighter tale. Were you really that traumatized by it?”
Iruka opened an eye a slit, smiling suddenly in a rather sly manner. “Are you kidding? I was the coolest kid in my class for a month and a half. To the people I told, at least. Not that I told many people, I mean the woman probably could have killed me and if she didn’t her husband sure as hell cou- mmph!”
Kakashi had mentally decided after all that it would probably take too long to get the proper mood back, and had resigned himself to skipping the breakfast her wanted. This did not mean he was letting Iruka get away with that rather forced half smirk thing. This mental decision resulted in his hands going from rubbing temples to holding Iruka’s face in place while biting his lower lip. Iruka tensed a moment and relaxed, moaning. There was a shifting of weight; a sudden lift and Iruka found himself sitting on the counter.
“Hmm.” Iruka leaned his head forward, kissing him. "This is nice- I kinda like being at even eye level-“ He paused suddenly. “I just got the weirdest feeling-“
“That’s you’ve said that before?” Kakashi smiled. “You have. You’re being far more articulate this time.”
Iruka blinked a moment, then sighed. "I was really pickled at that party wasn't I?"
"No, this was at my house. I think they were all too busy playing strip the Something to notice you once they took your bottle and you went outside." Kakashi settled his hands on Iruka’s knees.
"I hope so."
"Well, you could always ask."
"Urgh." Iruka shook his head. "No, no thank you I'll just wait till someone starts laughing at me in the streets, if you don't mind."
Kakashi shrugged and leaned forward, lips brushing Iruka’s nose, then eyelid, settling at his temple. "Mmm. Your call, I suppose. Though if you asked them you could at least control the location of your embarrassment." He glanced at the light in the window and exhaled softly, eyes shutting. "You should go to class."
"Now? I have time-" Iruka looked a little confused. "I'm sorry did I say something-"
"Mm? No, you didn't. I've simply decided I’d rather skip breakfast and have a large lunch."
"No!" Iruka responded instantly, pushing Kakashi back a little.
"You're not coming by at lunch! Every time you do I end up sitting at the desk wanting to throw children out the window!"
"Every time? I only went twice."
"And both times I end up sitting at my desk trying to will a hard on away! No!" Iruka shook his head. "It's- it's unprofessional!"
"You with your hard on, or me putting it there?"
"Both! No lunch! Or- or-"
"Or what? You'll rape me again?" Kakashi grinned. "Promise?"
"You could have stopped me."
"True. But then you would have ended up in the hospital with a black eye and blue balls. Or is that the other way around?"
"Gah." Iruka crossed his arms. "Don't come by at lunch for lunch- okay?"
"No, all you get is a maybe. I might have promised but you called me unprofessional."
"Attempting to canoodle a school teacher on his lunch break IS unprofessional!"
"So's looking - wait. Canoodle?"
"It that even a word?"
"Sure it is."
"You think it is therefore it is?"
"If you can declare me breakfast then I can use the word canoodle," Iruka said, sticking out his tongue rather like a five-year-old. "Besides- breakfast is the most ahh-" His eyes went wide and he blushed as Kakashi squeezed something rather sensitive. "Ah-" His head leaned back as he inhaled.
Kakashi let go with a rub, sliding the hand just inside Iruka collar and rubbing at his neck and the bruise/hickey. "What did I say about sticking your tongue out?"
Iruka leaned into the rub, making his breathing slow. "Ahh- But, if you pin me to the wall you'll lose your excuse for lunch?"
"Hmm. Point. And I don't think you'd like a hole in your wall."
"I'd just move a picture over it."
Kakashi laughed. "Sounds like you might have a few already. Holes, that is."
"Thought you'd found those already?"
Kakashi's lips twitched after a moment. "That was bad, Ruru-kun."
"But you got it, didn't you?" Iruka slide a hand up Kakashi's neck, running fingers through the hair. "Please, PLEASE don't fluster me at lunch?"
"I promise that I won't got there with the primary or secondary intention of 'flustering' you." Kakashi caught the hand by the wrist and kissed the palm. "If you promise not to stick your tongue out when circumstances are not beneficial to the wall nailing."
"Promise." Iruka got off then counter and grabbed the breakfast bread. "But unless you want breakfast I need a shower."
"Mm. I'll wait till dinner. But I'll probably be ravenous." Kakashi stretched lazily. "And it had better be a cold shower. If I see steam I'm going after you."
Iruka did take a cold shower, standing in his tub. He made it very quick, pulling his clothes back on without bothering to find fresh ones. He'd only just worn them. After all, the shower was for different reasons. He raked his fingers though his hair and forced it back into a ponytail, making it tight even though he knew it'd get even more so when it dried.
Iruka paused. Kakashi was standing in the living room, distractedly tugging his vest on. It was strange, a kind of transformation. To see him go from the warm creature from before to the sensei he knew, watching the smile get put under wraps as the mask came back and the hair get shuffled back off in one direction as the hitai-ate barrier was put back up. It was, strange. On impulse he steps forward, slid his arms around Kakashi’s waist from behind. The vest wasn't shut; he slipped a hand in, stopping over his heart.
Kakashi straightened a little, and relaxed against him. "Mm?"
"Ah." Kakashi settled a hand on Iruka’s. The fingers felt cool from the shower. There was quiet for a moment, Iruka squeezed his arms softly, and let go. "See you later." Kakashi leaned in, turning, and nuzzled his neck lightly. "Lunch, right?"
Iruka kissed him, lightly, on the mask. It was on odd sensation, but at the back of his mind he got the same jangle he'd gotten on the counter.
"If you remember your promise- sure." He picked up a pile of scrolls, things that needs to be graded. "I'll see you then. Bye."
"Bye." Kakashi echoed, letting himself sit down when the door clicked shut again. He waited a moment and got up. He had a pair of idiots to torment today, didn't he?
He cracked his knuckles and neck and grinned. Yes. Yes I DO have a pair of idiots to torture today. He sniggered softly to himself and made sure to lock the door behind him as he left.
"This is your fucking fault Sasuke…" Naruto growled, nearly bent double under the weight of the small tree.
"You started it dobe." The response was half grunted and Sasuke tried to avoid stepping in a gopher hole, the large heavy urn he was carrying obscuring his view.
"Still your fault."
"Shut up and carry."
"How many more trees do we have to transplant?"
"The normal ones."
"Then we plant the seedlings in the branches." Sasuke grit his teeth as he nearly fell over. Naruto turned and used the root ball at the end of the tree to knock Sasuke upright. "Ow!"
"You're fucking welcome."
"Piss off." Sasuke was hot, gritty, tired, and not looking forward to killing himself with a spitting tulip once the trees were planted in the cleared out pond. Ugh. I can't believe we have to plant the trap-plant nursery for the stupid forest. He groused to himself. And how did Sakura get out of it? Oh yeah. The blonde moron didn't molest her. Sasuke was unaware he was wrong, let's mock him!
Kakashi was doing the less labor-intensive job of cutting off the burlap and setting the trees into the holes. When he ran out of holes he had them dig new ones, simple as that. When there was enough of a lull he'd start hanging the pots off the freshly planted trees. His end was rather boring but at the VERY least his student were getting some serious weight training out of it. Maybe tomorrow would be spent pushing rocks up a hill, though they'd probably be only half done here.
The only problem, as far as Kakashi could tell, was that he had too much time to think when he was tormenting them in this basic manner. His mind would wander from the pages of his book to mull over things he didn't need to be thinking of yet. And just thinking wasn't going to get anything straight in his head at all, at the very least he needed to write it down so he could read his thoughts to himself out loud and see how they sounded.
"Kakashi-sensei---eiiie eiii-" Naruto whined. "Where's Sakura?"
"Taking a day off."
"Why did she get this day off?" Naruto would have at least like to attempt to show off his heavy lifting prowess to someone who cared. Or rather, to someone he wished would care.
"Because she caught fish and a little birdie told me what you two were doing instead." Kakashi said lazily, flipping a page. "Something about canoodling."
Kakashi glanced up at him, then back into the book. "You're not good at secrets like that Naruto. How long has it been going on?"
"Ai-ai-ai-" Naruto looked kinda panicky. "About- um- um- well- last night the night before- " He was ticking off days on his fingers.
"The day Sasuke was late. Was that first night or has this been building up?" Kakashi asked, turning a page.
"I- I don't- Maybe? I-" Naruto still looked panicky. "Am I in trouble?"
"Only if his fangirls find out. And if you let it be a distraction."
"I'm trying not to!" Naruto protested eyes wide. "Really!"
"Hmm." Kakashi realized even before the thought was fully formed that it was an evil thought and should be killed. So he said it anyway. "Well, if it gets to be too much of a distraction, are you up to learning a new jutsu? You'll have to teach it to Sasuke too."
Kakashi just hoped Iruka didn't find out.