Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Side Effects: heiwa no Jutsu ❯ Fucking Cat and Man-grunts Explained ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

CHAPTER NINE: Don’t EVER Touch The Book.
Iruka's hand stopped its course on the second to the last scroll, and he smiled without looking up. "You're late."
Kakashi set a glossy lacquered lunchbox on the desk next to Iruka elbow. "I might be early, you never know. Hungry?"
Iruka eyed him, slightly suspicious. "Maybe…" After Kakashi's definition of breakfast, he wasn't about to say yes to lunch without a clear definition. "Yes?"
"I promise to keep my promise." Kakashi said dryly, opening the box and pulling out a onigiri. "Today is the fourteenth day, that makes it rice day."
"Rice day?"
"I don't cook in small portions. Every other week I make rice." Kakashi said, shrugging. "In a very large pot. Though I used your stove because mine smells like dead mouse when the burners are on."
Iruka took the tidy little triangle of rice. "Thank you. It is still from the mouse in the oven?"
"I don't actually know. I don't think that's where it's from, because it's a new smell. But I don't have a way to be sure of it." Kakashi grabbed a loose chair and sat across the desk from Iruka, apparently content to watch him eat.
Iruka paused in mid bite. "You don't want any?"
Kakashi shook his head. "Not very hungry, really."
"Ah." Iruka took another bite, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed.
Kakashi folded his arms on the desk and leaned his chin on them, visible eye half-shutting.
"You just want to, watch me eat?" Iruka asked suddenly, feeling flushed.
Kakashi smiled, or at least his eye did. "Just keeping you company."
"Ah." Iruka finished the first one and picked up a second one. Kakashi was still watching, lazily, through his eyelashes, and Iruka shifted.
His original intention hadn't been to fluster Iruka, but as all it seemed to take at the moment was to idly stare at his lips… Kakashi smiled very faintly, utterly amused by the pink crawling across Iruka's cheeks. Iruka started to nervously nibble at the onigiri, trying not to stare back, and partially going back to grading.
Kakashi glanced down at the sheet, then back up. "You grade fairly gently."
"Excuse me?"
"You give partial credit."
"It's math. I tell them what parts they got wrong." Iruka said, looking up. "If I just mark it totally wrong they won't know what to fix."
"They'll know they did part of it wrong. If they care they'll ask you." Kakashi said.
"I don't do the pass fail system for written assignments." Iruka said, slightly defensive.
Kakashi thought about commenting further but stopped, going instead with- "I don't think I could handle that many kids."
"I couldn't handle teenagers. I really don't envy you having to handle Naruto when hormones kick in."
Kakashi privately thought that a hormonal Naruto was going to be more Sasuke's problem than his but didn't mention it.
Iruka went back to the papers, taking another bite. After a moment he glanced back up, as if to say something and paused.
It's not,, Iruka decided, that he's being lewd, but he's watching so closely-. Kakashi looked totally relaxed, sideways in the chair, head on his arms in a sort of boneless manner. His lid was half shut, like he was sliding into sleep, but the eye underneath was in sharp focus.
Iruka made himself look back down at the paper, aware he was probably blushing again. It's really unfair that all he has to do is look at me,- Iruka glanced back up, then down. I think he's staring at my lips. Or something. "Can- can you stop that?" He knew as soon as he said it he shouldn't have.
"Stop what Ruru-kun?"
"Staring at my lips."
"Why?"
"Because- you, you look like you're-" Iruka stopped. "You look like you're thinking of things."
"Is that what I'm doing? And what kind of things am I thinking of Ruru-kun?" Kakashi's eye followed Iruka mouth as the other man sat up a little, shifting. "Am I thinking anything interesting?"
"I, I don't know." Iruka said, turning his head away a little. "I know your thinking something indecent, though. You're staring at my mouth like-"
"Like what?"
Iruka shook his head. "No."
"I'm not doing anything but looking at you. Am I not allowed to do that?"
"You're- not supposed to look at me that way here."
"What way Ruru-kun?"
"Stop that." Iruka covered his mouth with his hand, but Kakashi just shifted his gaze upward, eye to eye. "Kakashi-"
"Yes?"
There was a pause. Kakashi chuckled softly, shifting. He brushed Iruka's hand away and leaned forward, giving him a startlingly chaste clothe kiss.
Iruka froze, and sighed, eye shutting.
"I'll see you later then." Kakashi dipped his head slightly and nuzzled Iruka nose to nose. "I have to go clean up your kitchen anyway, and since you can't seem to control yourself--"
"You're doing it on purpose." Iruka said, nuzzling back anyway. "I know you are."
"Hmm. Not actually, but it's quite funny."
"What did you do to my kitchen?"
"It'll be fine by the time you get home."
"Better be."
Kakashi smiled, Iruka could FEEL the smile and stood up, stretching. "Tonight then."
Iruka smiled as Kakashi left, and went back to eating. That had been the perfect amount for warm and fuzzy feelings, as opposed to him looking for something suitably squishy no one would miss. He finished the food, went back to grading, but kept smiling.
~*~*~*~
Everything felt grimy. Like a kind of second skin. Being a boy, Sasuke had not been trained to want to be clean at all times but that didn't mean he LIKED feeling like a toad. He really wanted to scrub himself, or at least rub the top layer of filth off. That last batch of sticky little vines things had itched to boot, but considering what he was standing on. Well, he just didn't think Sakura would appreciate him shedding a pile of dirt on her carpet.
God this is a girly room. I don't want to breathe in here- Sasuke thought, idly looking around. He'd been told (before Kakashi had taken off for lunch) to deliver this scroll to Sakura as soon as they were done. That had to have been eight hours ago. Sasuke feel his muscles attempt to get stiff on him even as he stood still and stared balefully at the rack of stuffed… things.
Stuffed things was the right word. It wasn't a HUGE mass of cuddly creatures, maybe a dozen. A small stuffed bear, a doll of some sort. Sasuke suddenly wanted to either be home, alone in his plain little world or sitting on the counter at Naruto's yelling at dobe for a lack of utensils.
Naruto.
Naruto.
Sasuke felt a jangle in his head and took a deep breath. What a weird jutsu. Feels like an ice pack on the small of my back. Though why THAT'S being affected I have NO idea.
It'd been kinda funny to watch Naruto attempting to teach him a jutsu. He'd done an okay job, though Sasuke had finally gotten fed up with the last bit and told him to just cast the damn thing instead of trying to explain it. Three tries later they both had it down. Sasuke had to admit that Naruto was far less distracting after that, even after he'd tossed his jacket into a bucket to soak off purple toxic slime and spent the day sweaty in a black t-shirt.
Black t-shirt.
Kinda tight, or just stuck to him.
Nearly came off when the one tree branch fell off on him.
It had stayed on.
Just rode up.
Showing stomach and a bright red bite on his side.
The bite Sasuke had put there.
Sasuke shook his head violently. Felt like the ice was melting and the stupid cat was laughing at him. The one on the end, the fluffy white one with the large blue eyes. Fluffy kitties in a shinobi's room were weirdly out of place, was that a scroll propped under it's paw? Maybe? I should check…Wonder what scroll it is-
He reached half way out and changed his mind. No. I can't touch it. It looks really soft. Am I still talking about the scroll? Aiiie. He lifted a hand to start to recast the jutsu, but paused. Naruto hadn't been very clear about what happened when you over cast it. Something about side effects.
What the hell does that MEAN anyway- I mean really. It has side effects. What sort of side effects? Ooh. Soft.
Sasuke realizes his hand had swayed from touching the scroll to poking at the cat instead. It was one of those ridiculously fuzzy creations with a big, BIG set of glassy blue eyes that followed one about the room. He jerked his hand back and it fell off the shelf.
He caught it by the bow, just barely and nearly dropped it again at the noise it made. It was some sort of simulated purr, he squeezed it and felt a hard object inside. A sort of hockey puck shaped item that rattled. That's not the noise it made thought- He shook it, and it rattle again, but if he rotated his wrist just right some sort of marble seemed to roll inside the hard thing and make a continuous, purr-like grinding noise.
Heh. Grinding. Sasuke had a disturbingly pervert thought and crushed it out of his head.
Or he tried to.
But his brain kept circling around it. Repeatedly, niggling, and the ice on his back was GONE. And it felt like warm water was pooling, elsewhere.
Grinding, bump and grind- my baby rocks me with a steady roll- what the HELL am I even thinking of now?
Fuzzy little kitten.
SOFT fuzzy kitten.
Heh. Grinding..
At this point Sasuke became legal insane. If his mind had demanded that he prance merrily down the street dressed only in thigh high rubber boots wearing bunny ears, then several dozen people would have been scared for life. It didn't demand that though, and instead he found himself holding the creature in one hand and hurriedly moving cloth out of the way with another.
As it was, the only person scared was Sakura. Poor Sakura, whom had the misfortune to not knock on the door to her room after getting out of the shower. She nearly dropped her towel, blinked twice, and RAN back into the bathroom, locking the door.
Sasuke, after finishing and re-zipping his pants, swallowed. The hell did I just do? He looked at the now (sticky) cat. Daaah. The HELL did I just do? Umm…. Crap….
And so Sasuke ran away, stealing the cat in the process.
Sakura put her dirty clothes back on and went to sit on the roof, feeling like she'd gotten hit with a hammer. Or maybe an asteroid. You know- Inner Sakura paused. You know what we need to do? Something! Yes! Let's go see if the rumor has spread!
Sakura nodded slightly in agreement with herself. Camera and action!
But the camera was in her room. What if he'd left the cat? No camera required! Kakashi-sensei'd break it anyway! Let's move out! Don't think about it!
Still moving in a semi daze, Sakura dropped off the roof and headed for the academy.
~*~*~*~
"What the fuck is the matter with you!"
Kakashi paused in the feeding of the invisible night blooming choke vine (feeding a choke vine consists of tossing chunks of meat in their general area and watching them vanish) and glanced over the top of his book. "Hm?"
The small questioning noise was rather ignored in the rant.
"-ou've got to be the WORST teacher- no- no, HUMAN on the planet what are you going to do if the Jutsu wears off on Naruto and he humps someone's leg?! It's immoral you fucking perverted BASTARD and I hope you rot in hell for it-"
Kakashi blinked slowly, looking at the incredibly flushed person standing in front of him, hair sticking out in a messy, sweaty disaster, and put his book away slowly.
"- and what words, did you use, exactly to explain the side affects to Naruto? Cause he just said their were a few, you rat-bastard and when it wears off he's gonna fuck a HOLE in something! And it had better not be ME!!"
There was a pause as the flushed screamer took a deep breath. "IT'S NARUTO!! He's one of the many people on the planet who should NEVER learn shit like this!! He's probably recast it about thirty times at this stage- what ever HAPPENES then? DO your balls explode? My god- you don't even KNOW do you?"
Kakashi let this continue, allowing himself to be advanced on by the human ball of rage until they were nearly toe to toe. Only nearly though, because if they HAD been toe to toe the rather horrid looking stuffed kitten would have hit him in the head during it's wielders waving of it.
"-ucking irresponsible son of a bitch!" Sasuke finished, swinging the cat at his head. Kakashi leaned back from the waist up, dodging lazily. "look what you made me do to this stupid cat!! What would you have done if I jumped Sakura? What are you gonna do it Naruto POPS like a zit?!?!"
"Hmm. 'To my beloved grand daughter-" Kakashi read off the tag. "Who's is that?"
"IT'S SAKURA'S!! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOOOU!" Sasuke howled.
Watching the normally level-headed boy whom normally took great pains to look aloof cycling through eight levels of 'spaz' was impressive.
"You brought the cat with you?" Kakashi took a side step to avoid it hitting him in the head when it was thrown. The cat sailed through the air to hit the tree behind him, sticking for a moment and slowly sliding down the tree.
"Yes I took the fucking cat with me! She doesn't need to see it in, in, that condition and- that stupid jutsu isn't DONE with me yet!" Sasuke yelled. "I can still FEEL it! I have, like, TEN fucking minutes to figure out how to STOP it before I have to find another closet!"
"There isn't."
"Isn't what?"
"A way to stop it. It just has to run it's course. Go find Naruto, drag him off somewhere."
"Who the HELL do you think I'm looking for!?" Sasuke yelled without thinking.
"Cast it again so you can think and look harder." Kakashi said, fishing his book back out and re-locating his spot with his index finger.
"What happens if you cast it too many times without sex?"
"Never really been a problem for me." Kakashi said tonelessly.
There was a pause. "You're a really arrogant fucktard, you know that?"
The sound of the page turning was audible as Kakashi ignored him.
Sasuke growled, suddenly mad beyond belief at the damn book. He reached out with the intention of grabbing it, ripping it away-
And Kakashi's foot hit him in the groin. Not as brutal a kick as it could have been, but it still dropped the Uchida like a sack of turnips. Remember, even if he wasn't hard at the moment, everything from the navel to the knees was hyper sensitive right now. He curled into a wad and tried not to puke for a few moments. He sucked in air- and after a long, long, moment, blinked.
"Intense genital pain often delays the major side affects of Heiwa no Jutsu as well." Kakashi explained. "Did it work or should I do that again?"
"….fuck….you….."
"Think of it this way. As your new assignment is to locate Naruto and either isolate or deal with him, you have a viable excuse to pass your pain on." Kakashi tapped the page, making a mental note to see if clotted cream would, in fact, do that at body temperature. Hmm, perhaps that could be researched later. "And don't touch the book."
Sasuke was shaking when he made himself get up. "Dammit."
"And if Naruto was unsure of the side effects of a lesser know jutsu, you should have asked before casting it multiple times," Kakashi said.
Sasuke bristled, looking nearly cute with his messy hair spiking out like vigorous porcupine quills. "Yes… Sensei……" if only for revenge for this, I have a reason to learn to kick your ass.
Kakashi watched him awkwardly stalk away and tried not to snicker. Depending on Sasuke's luck, Naruto was either at his home, violating everything penetrate-able, or he was walking around, re-casting repeatedly. Either way….
Kakashi put his book away, glancing at the tiny, evil sprouts that were finally painstakingly transplanted. Evil's a rather harsh word, I suppose. He looked at the tiny blue sprout that was growing out of the hunk of meat in a hanging basket. Okay, maybe that liver vine can be called evil… Least this paid well, for a gardening mission. He slunk his hands deep into his pockets and wandered off, ambling in the general direction of his home. He'd already cleaned Iruka's place up, not that making rice was particularly messy, and had a few things to do at home. Like moving a picture to cover the hole in the wall.
Still, a wandering Kakashi does not do the straight line well, and he somehow found Iruka's house to be on his way. Not that school was out, but he did take a moment to leave a note on the fridge before continuing his walk.
In the course of this walk he also found out that the bookstore, the grocery store, and bank seemed to be on the way today. Not that this was bad, as there were a few new books in he'd been meaning to think about getting, he could also purchase a few different things that seemed like they should be spreadable over flesh, and take out some expendable cash. Because you can never have too much expendable cash. He also picked up a rather odd picture of a beach, somewhere with a 'nude' sign, though there were no beach-goers in the image. It looked about the right size to cover the hole, at the very least.
By this point though he was only two detours away from his house, and he decided to skip them. He had a few other things to do, mostly equipment management, and he might as well do it before Iruka found the note.
~*~*~*~
Thank you, thank you I'm DONE. Iruka said to himself, resisting the urge to cackle as he finished the last bit of entering grades and tossed the scroll onto his 'done' pile. No more grading scrolls for me, at least until the essays get turned in. He stretched, smiling. Wonder where Kakashi is? Well, I'll just go home and see when he shows up. Fairly sure he was planning on it.
Iruka cheerfully stuffed everything on his desk into a bag and tucked the bulging mess under his arm, heading home by the straightest line possible. He tossed the whole mass into a corner to think about later and opened his fridge to find-
Onigiri. A lot of them. On a rather large tray stacked in the center of his best platter in the middle of his fridge. Topped by a note.
Ruru-kun
These are filled with.. Various things I found in your kitchen. Eat at your own risk, thought nothing should be poisonous. Around eight is good, come to me.
-HenohenoMoheji ()
Iruka smiled back at the signature. No face man. Suits him, but then it always has. Picking out three of the rice-balls at random, he was rewarded with barbecued pork (he hoped that’s was what it was, as he hadn't had any before Kakashi had started to cook) cucumber and umeboshi fillings.
Not a lot of what he did next was very interesting, really, he sorted everything in his bag, had a few more onigiri (one was candied ginger, another pork, and a pair of red bean paste filled ones) and headed over to Kakashi's.
He got there at 7:45, knocked, and heard Kakashi inform him the door was unlocked. So he entered, surveying the scene.
Sprawled across the table were kunai, shuriken, sharp wires, smoke bombs, gas grenades, scrolls, two med kits, a collection of small blades, and a few varied vials of pills that didn't quite fit in said med kits. Kakashi was balancing in his chair, wearing a ratty looking shirt that seemed to have had the sleeves lopped off higher than normal for him. His feet were on the edge of the counter as he sat sharpening the second-to-the-last kunai slowly. He wasn't in any hurry to get all that back into his vest and pants, no hurry by any definition of the word.
"Hey- got your note." Iruka said, smiling.
"It was either there or on your bathroom mirror, and I felt the onigiri needed to have a warning." Kakashi said, testing the edge of the blade on his thumb before going back to honing it. He set it down after a long moment and picked up the last one. It made a sharp snikt-snikt noise on the whet stone. "I just have this one left."
"Ah, okay. Sorry I'm early-"
"Don't be."
Iruka nodded, then paused, looking at the wall. "Is that, a new picture?"
"It was the right size."
"Oh, you've never been to that beach then?" Iruka tapped the glass. "It's nice. They must have taken this picture in winter. I've never seen it empty."
"You've been?"
"When I was sixteen. Mission ended soon and we had a day to kill." Iruka grinned. "And again when I was seventeen and had three free days in a row."
Kakashi paused, eyebrow going up. "Someday soon, I'm going to have to tie you up and torment you until you tell me all the wonderful little stories you keep tossing out."
Iruka made a soft, laugh-like noise and kept looking at the photo. "I think that's the same beach…"
Kakashi finished the blade, tested it, and began to methodically put everything back. Well, almost everything. One single, hair-splittingly-sharp-as-sin kunai stayed out on the table. It took less than three minutes; he just stuck the vest on a hanger for tomorrow. Then, in a very fluid motion, he turned, went over the couch in what was very nearly a bound, and slid his arms around Iruka and spun, letting his own back hit the wall as Iruka squeaked.
"Gaah- what was that for?"
Kakashi nosed his ear. "I need a reason?"
"No, not really but- a warning would be nice- oh, I wanted to thank you."
"Mmm? I did something good then?"
"Yes. You left at lunch." Iruka smiled broadly. "Instead of teasing. It was, ah, sweet."
"Mm. I can do that sometimes. Be sweet." Kakashi settled his hands on the small of Iruka's back, pulling him forward and holding him there comfortably. Iruka's hands shifted, touching the cloth on his neck, and he tipped his head back against the wall.
"Is this your cleaning shirt?" Iruka teased, moving a hand to touch at the ragged edges of the sleeves.
"Mm-hmm. Today it is." Kakashi sighed softly as Iruka carefully hooked the edges of the mask to pull it down, and smiled into it as Iruka kissed him. It was a soft, warm kiss, and it's innocence lasted until Kakashi nipped Iruka's lower lip.
Iruka made a contented noise in his throat, pulling away after a long moment. "Your day was?"
"Filled with neurotoxin spitting seedlings. You?"
"I have no papers to grade for five days."
"Hmmm- That's good." Kakashi squeezed him lightly, grinning. "So I don't have to hunt you down after school? You'll just come here?"
"If that's what you want." Iruka bowed his head, resting it on Kakashi's shoulder. "Anything you'd like."
"More anythings. You don't even know what I'll ask for."
"I'm choosing to trust you." Iruka said, relaxing.
"Trust." Kakashi paused, glancing at the lone kunai on the table. "Hmm." His hand crept up Iruka's back, tugging at the knot on the hitai-ate. "How much?"
"Umm." Iruka paused, looking up as the band came loose. "More before you asked that?"
"Well, what if I asked you to undress, go to the bedroom, and lay down on the bed on your belly with your eyes shut?"
Iruka blinked, tilting his head to try and read Kakashi's expression. Not surprisingly, there wasn't a whole lot there to go off of. He leaned forward a little, quietly touching his lips to Kakashi's and getting no response. My move, of course- gaah if he hadn't said the trust thing I wouldn't care- now I'm nervous. Dammit Kakashi why are you making me think- He decided asking would probably defeat the purpose of trust, and carefully stepped away from the man, his forehead protector sliding around his neck. He took it off and set it on the table, touching the bridge of his nose nervously before unzipping his vest.
It joined the hitai-ate. He paused a moment before biting his lip and pulling the shirt off up over his head. Still fighting butterflies, he folded it and set it on the table. Cool and soft fingertips touched his back and he twisted slightly to look. "What?"
"You're folding it?"
"I have to wear them again to go home." Iruka blushed slightly. "And nothing I own irons well." He bowed his head slightly to get started on his pants, feeling a low current from the spot Kakashi had touched. Great… Now him being weird is going to turn into another turn on…
It took a moment, a rather hesitant moment to get the pants off. He had to sit halfway through to get them the rest of the way off, folding them up too and ignoring Kakashi's soft chuckle.
He undid his hair as he stood up, shaking his head and running his fingers through the mess. Walking to the bedroom would have been easier except he was trying to focus on where Kakashi was without looking. It was nearly impossible as Kakashi had gone into 'stealth quiet' mode, and the impossibility was increased by the fact he nearly fell forward and brained himself on that damn half step because he wasn't paying attention. He made a quirky half step, turned it into a hop, and sprung up onto the bed in a crouch.
Kakashi tried very hard not to laugh at that, focusing on Iruka backside instead. Not just the rump, though it was an exemplary example of a rump. His whole back got scrutiny, the mathematical line of his spine to the width of his shoulder, waist and hip. It was a hell of a view, and got infinitely more interesting as Iruka moved. He eased himself into lying on his belly, blushing so badly his ears were red. There was a soft noise, a heavy exhalation of breath, and Kakashi knew his eyes had shut.
He kept his steps slow, silent, as he eased toward Iruka. Pausing near the table, he picked up the kunai, letting the blade make a familiar scrape on the table. Iruka shivered, knowing that sound well. Kakashi smiled and stepped inside, debating where to begin.
"Don't keep your arms under you, stretch them out." Kakashi said, tilting his head to make sure Iruka wasn't peeking. He wasn't and he stretched his arms out over his head obediently.
Testing his blade against his thumb lightly, Kakashi selected Iruka's left hand. It was palm down, the wrists were crossed. Kakashi brushed a finger across his palm.
"Now, I'll assume you know what I have in my hand?"
"Something sharp." Iruka voice was muffled in the covers, his fingers wiggling, trying to catch Kakashi.
"Yes. Very sharp. Now, here's the trick to this." Kakashi tangled his fingers in Iruka's, lifting the hand. He scraped the edge of the kunai across the back of Iruka's hand. "You have to relax. If you tense, if you jump- it will cut you- ah- " he lifted the blade as Iruka fingers wiggled. "See, you can't do that. You have to relax." He started again, expertly letting the edge go between Iruka's fingers. "You start with the hands because they're complicated and hard to do." He let go of Iruka's hand, sliding the blade across the fat part of the thumb.
"To build trust?"
"That's part of it. And a knick on the hands isn't a very bad wound. It relaxes you just enough to do this- " and then he was dragging the blade parallel to Iruka wrist, across the pulse.
Iruka shivered and Kakashi stopped. The blade was over his wrist, against it even, he could feel the cold line slowly warm but it didn't sink in. After a moment, when Iruka had calmed, Kakashi resumed, keeping the edge so close Iruka felt he might be in danger of loosing arm hair.
It was hard, to not move. To let himself relax that totally. He could feel the blade continuously, Kakashi would bring it so far then go back, then swipe again, always going over new skin.
Or, at least it was at first. Except, Kakashi's touch was gentle, occasionally shifting him. And once your mind slipped away from the fact that the object on your skin could slice you to ribbons in seconds, it sent a whole new type of shiver down your spine.
Kakashi leaned forward, kissing the base of Iruka's neck softly. "Still nervous?"
Iruka made a noise best described as a murble. "Keep going-"
Kakashi dragged the blade on the inner part of Iruka elbow, smiling. He lifted the blade and tested it with his thumb, then sighed and flipped it. Then he shifted starting at the back of Iruka's legs, along the tendon first.
He had to keep switching kunai to maintain the deadly shard edge, but those transitions were fast. He crept his way up Iruka's legs to the back of the knees, where he stopped to bite the skin there, making Iruka whine softly.
On anyone else the whine would have been annoying, Kakashi decided. But Iruka's whine had just the right level of 'be nice' blended with 'stop screwing around and get to it' to make Kakashi nip once at the back of his thigh before going back to the arms. The shoulder got complicated, he let Iruka keep his arms above his head and followed the muscle's grain closely, adjusting for scars.
"Where did you pick this up from?"
"Talking makes your back move." Kakashi said, barely avoiding a nick.
Iruka paused a moment, and carefully spoke on the exhale, not moving his jaw. "Is this better?"
"Yes."
"Well? When did you think this up?"
"It's actually a very old massage technique." Kakashi leaned back down, kissing behind Iruka's ear without stopping his hand. "Not a very common one, naturally."
Iruka thought about the skill it took for him to avoid nicking himself shaving, and couldn't even begin to think about doing that to anything more complicated than his jaw for an extended period of time. Of course, with Kakashi letting his lips trail to the spine, Iruka couldn't think of anything that dull for more than two seconds. "Can't- can't be easy to learn- ahh-" Okay, lying on his stomach was starting to get slightly uncomfortable.
"It's not just the skill. It's the recipient. By the time someone's good enough with a blade to do this, they're usually the sort of people who can do some real damage with it. And most massage involved a certain understanding of vital chakra points." Kakashi went back to Iruka's legs, up the thighs, going along the insides of them slowly. "Where the big veins are." He used his free hand to trace a line down Iruka's spine. "It's a vulnerable position for you to be in, really. Bet this one hurt." Her pauses to retrace a particularly fresh looking vertical scar between the shoulder blades.
"Less than you'd think it would, at the time." Iruka shifted a little. Okay, uncomfortable position now… Especially with what must be a new, extra sharp blade sliding up his thighs. No way in hell Kakashi isn't noticing.
Kakashi was noticing. He was perfectly aware that if he'd felt like it he could have just, lifted Iruka's hips up, licked his fingers, taken a few seconds to get him prepped and gone for it. He was also aware he wasn't done yet, dragging the edge over Iruka's backside.
"This is harder than a female would be." Kakashi complained, teasingly.
"Eh?"
"Females, even kunoichi, usually have at least a little fat on them here. Actually, it's sort of an unofficial rule that kunoichi have it, because a totally lean female looks, well, out of place and is rather useless for undercover work. Yours is much leaner, even if it's the same sort of shape." Kakashi grinned at the slightly irritated noise Iruka made, and patted the object in question lightly. "In the nicest of ways, of course."
Iruka grumbled and shifted his hips a little. The kunai was swapped for a new one, going up Iruka's side and down his back and finishing with the small of his back. "Good. Now roll over."
Iruka shivered again at the sensation and did it, keeping his eyes shut.
"Hmm." Kakashi kissed his eyelids. "Good."
Iruka felt like butter by now. Feeling the blade against his throat didn't even phase him, it felt nice, good even, a cool current against sensitive skin. He made a soft noise in his chest and Kakashi kissed him even as the kunai kept going along his shoulder. Iruka lifted the other arm, meaning to touch Kakashi's hair, and felt a slight nick, he jumped and it became a tiny cut.
"Shaa.. and I was doing so well." Kakashi murmured, lifting his head. Iruka kept his eyes closed, but tried to touch the wound. Kakashi caught his hand en route and leaned his head down, kissing the tiny blood spot. More welled up and he licked at it until it stopped. "Better?" He shifted the blade and pulled it across Iruka's chest. "You can't move at all, or that happens."
Iruka shivered a little, trying to figure out how Kakashi could do that and still seem sexy. Not the blade so much as the blood sucking bit. The blade hit the raised lump of his nipple and paused, then went back across his chest to get to the other one. Kakashi opted to circle them, going back down his chest to the navel instead. Then lower.
"What are you-" Iruka started to raise his head a little and Kakashi put his hand on his forehead, pushing him down.
"Shhh. Eyes shut. Stay still." He lowered his head and lipped warmly at the nipples, biting them.
Iruka swallowed and did so. "You're not really gonna-"
"Well, I have to finish." Kakashi kissed right below the navel and started bringing the edge to the base of Iruka's semi-erect member. Iruka trembled slightly, feeling one of Kakashi's hands slid under his leg to help hold him still. The hand was on his thigh, Iruka tired to focus on it but it was apparently another fresh, cold kunai going along his length. He wasn't afraid Kakashi would hurt him, but considering how good it felt he was scared he wouldn't be able to stay still. "Ah-" He felt his belly tighten a little. He wasn't doing it any lighter or with any less pressure than he had used on the rest of Iruka's body. It felt like a knot slowly spooling in Iruka's stomach, he felt himself hardening slowly.
Kakashi nuzzling his stomach helped. It was soothing, even though that kunai had every hair on his body standing on end. The steel went from base to tip to base, repeatedly, until he was grabbing the sheets with his hand tightly and he was coated in sweat. The tip of it was starting to weep clear sticky tears, and Kakashi swept them away with his thumb without missing a stroke.
The last stroke with the blade was on the underside, nearly scraping and making Iruka's knuckles turn white. Then the blade was gone, and a hot tongue replaced it, following the same path.
"Gah-"
"You can move now-" Kakashi swept the blades off the bed as Iruka sprung into sitting position, grabbing at Kakashi's shirt. Or trying too.
"When did you take that off?"
"When you were distracted." Kakashi grinned, leaning his head down and biting Iruka's thigh exactly where his hand had been.
Iruka gasped, and nearly yelled when Kakashi moved his mouth upwards suddenly, engulfing him. He did yell when enamel was scraped up the sides, and positively howled when the very tip was nipped. "Ka-Kakashi!" He jerked, feeling his stomach clench. "I- Ah!" There was another nip, the hand on his thigh squeezing.
And that was it. Iruka howled and came hard. Utilizing ninja-awesomeness (yes, this is the technical term for it) Kakashi moved his head out of the way of the, ahem, spurt.
Iruka panted, and his air was suddenly cut off. He inhaled though his nose instead as Kakashi bit at his lower lip, pushing him into the mattress. Iruka didn't even pretend to fight it, just wrapped his arms around Kakashi's chest, pulled him in. Kakashi shifted, melted against him, groaned as pressure was put on his own aching member.
"Ah- you're-"
"Well, you make the sexiest noises, you see." Kakashi rocked against Iruka, moaned slightly. "And your face-" He paused to kiss him again, teasing at Iruka's tongue with his own. After a moment Iruka was fighting back, pushing against him. Kakashi grinned and pushed back.
Kakashi almost saw it coming, Iruka's lips twitched into their own smile and he stopped pushing and pulled instead, pulling Kakashi over him with enough force to continue the roll.
Kakashi blinked up and started to laugh, eye crinkling shut and Iruka grinned down at him, ridiculously proud of himself.
"Got you." Iruka's lips stayed curled in that smile. Kakashi's hair was now a mess, so he nuzzled it, lipping at his ear.
"Good for you." Kakashi set his hands on Iruka's hips. "But what are you going to do with me?"
"Hmm." Iruka sat up a little, shifting weight to one arm, so he was straddling Kakashi. That freed up a hand, which he used to cup Kakashi's jaw while he nibbled at his face.
Kakashi shifted, tightening his grip on Iruka his as he raised his own. Kisses were fine, sure, but he had certain bits begging for attention. Or rather, certain bits were straining for attention, enough to poke at their tormentor. Iruka felt it and sat up and back a little, hand sliding to Kakashi's chest. Shifting his hips, he ground teasingly into Kakashi's pants while tracing a nipple. It was nearly invisible against his skin, the same shade only a slight texture difference and raised nub gave it away.
Heh. Stealth nipple. Iruka thought, grinning stupidly for a second, before leaning down and kissing Kakashi's nose. He was feeling his interest flaming back up rapidly, despite the limited down time. Ah. The deliriously useful benefits of maintaining shinobi levels of fitness.
Kakashi decided he was going to count quietly to twenty. Then he was going dispense with all this mucking around and tie Iruka to the bed in an easily accessible position.
Iruka, however, blissfully unaware of this countdown, had sat all the way up and moved enough to get at Kakashi's buttons. He got them undone and loose, and his hand slipped inside just as Kakashi hit the number 'five'.
"Gah-" Kakashi forgot where he'd been and restarted at twenty as Iruka got to work pulling his pants down. After two seconds of that, Kakashi let go of Iruka to arch his spine, lifting his hips and helping. It put him back to twenty but Iruka touching him there, with inquisitive strokes getting firmer, was certainly worth loosing count every few seconds. "Ah-ah-"
Iruka bit his lip, suddenly unsure how he wanted to proceed. He kinda liked the view up here, after all. Kakashi made some exceptional sexy noises himself, and his chest was heaving from his chin to his hipbones, damp with second-hand sweat. But after the stupid teacher's lounge- Iruka shifted, licking his fingers carefully. Then, reaching a hand down between his own legs, he started doing things he'd just, never really thought about doing to himself.
Kakashi smiled broadly, teeth not quite touching as he panted. His hands went to Iruka's hips a moment, then, belly tensing as he sat half way up, went a little farther. Iruka blushed, or maybe it was just a deeper flush as Kakashi's hands cupped his rear, spreading (for lack of a better word) him a little. Ah-but, it does make it easier, he thought as he pushed his index finger in past the muscle ring slowly. He wished he'd gotten more saliva on his fingers but he wasn't ABOUT to take them out and lick them again.
Kakashi sat up farther, kissing Iruka's neck and squeezing. Iruka bit his lip again and stretched himself, wincing a little. Kakashi nuzzled once, and Iruka turned his head to nuzzle back. "Ah- I- I can't do- both-"
"Yes you can." Kakashi bit his ear softly. Iruka could feel Kakashi's sides move against his legs with every breath.
"But-" Iruka leaned his head into Kakashi's' neck, panting. "O-okay- lemme-" he reached down, grabbing Kakashi's length awkwardly. Kakashi groaned. "Okay- ah I think that I can-" Iruka was starting to regret reaching in front of himself, it seemed to get in the way. He shifted forward, shutting his eyes and hoping he had it lined up more or less right as he lowered himself down.
There was a very, very awkward moment as he got his fingers out of the way, and a slightly more awkward moment as he wobbled slightly for a second and Kakashi nearly came out. It was only a nearly though, because Kakashi pushed his hips up at the right moment and was abruptly neatly encased.
"Aaah-" Iruka cried out as Kakashi hands went back to his hips, keeping him from jerking back up. Kakashi nipped at his neck and shoulder, shifting his arms around Iruka's waist firmly. "Da-damn." He gripped Kakashi's' shoulders tightly and rocked his hips a little. Kakashi gasped. "Let, let go of me Kakashi. Just- put your hands on the bed-"
Kakashi did so, leaning back after one last soft bite on his collarbone. Iruka felt taut around him, pleasantly tight. Okay, unbelievably tight. He had NO idea how Iruka was healing himself so quickly, or why he was doing it completely. Iruka's passage was narrow and hot- G-ga-ah-ah-. Okay, so he's not thinking anything really clever right now but it's worth noting he can still use vowels.
It took a few tries of moving against him, with him, but Iruka figured out the proper angle. Or, rather he hit it once, moaned, and proceeded to fail to hit it again until Kakashi bent one knee. Iruka wasn't sure how that helped, or how Kakashi had known that would help, but-
"Ah!" Iruka's hands tightened on his shoulders, and he moved again. His head leaned to one side gasping. His hair stuck to him in long tendrils, across his face, his eyes were half shut. "Ah- gah, I- Kakashi-" Iruka was running low on words that had meaning too.
Well, the words (grunts. Whatever) did have SOME meaning….
What's that? You want the translation? Umm. You really- oh hell. Puppy dog eyes. I can actually feel them and I'm sitting at home typing… Gah… Okay.
Kakashi moaned, starting to flush down his face and neck, to his shoulders. This translated to (and this is a rough translation)- "You're completely insane for healing this much- feels really good- but- ah- doesn't it hurt you?"
Then Iruka's hips moved again, and Kakashi gasped. Translation-"Oh that's perfect do it again"
Iruka shuddered, leaning forward as he rocked and nosing Kakashi. He made a soft 'uahh-ah' noise. Translation- "You look so beautiful like this-"
Kakashi translated- "I like your skin."
Iruka translated- "I'm completely in love with you."
Kakashi translated- "Hmm. Maybe if I tilt my hips like this it'll work better."
Iruka translated- "I wish I could tell you without this crushing fear you'll just laugh at me and tell me it's just a fling."
Kakashi translated - "Oh, okay good that does seem to work better."
Iruka translated- "And I think you know I love you, but you just don't say anything and I really really hope you love me back- or rather that you will love me back someday or- oh- god you feel good in me- ah- harder- and if I fall any harder for you-"
Kakashi translated- "Mmmm."
Iruka translated, continued from above- "I need you, I love you, I want you- and it's just getting worse the more of you I get. And addiction- you're an addiction- I wish you'd just tell me what we have- ah-ah- and I don't know why you won't but- it doesn't matter because I'll never risk making you mad to ask.. I wish you'd tell me- ah- oh I'm can’t- ahh!"
Kakashi doesn't understand 'Dear-god-I-wish-you'd-say-that-you-loved-me-a-nese', however, so all of this was lost on him.
Iruka's back arched and Kakashi caught him before he could fall too far back, his hand on the small of his back. "Ahh!" Iruka tensed and came harder, the resulting contractions pushing Kakashi over the edge.
"Ahh-" Kakashi pulled Iruka forward, pushing hips up. They clung for a few more jerky moments before collapsing against each other. "Mm."
"Mm." Iruka agreed, nuzzling slowly. After a few, well, a few dozen minutes they slunk under the covers, still deeply tangled.
"Night, 'Kashi." Iruka murmured into his chest.
"Night, 'Ruru-kun." Kakashi rubbed his shoulder in a lazy circle. Iruka fell asleep in minutes. Kakashi let out a slow sigh.
Kakashi's translation- "I'm falling in love with you. Wait 'til I know how to say it."