Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Side Effects: heiwa no Jutsu ❯ Part B Chpt 11 ( Chapter 12 )

CHAPTER ELEVEN part two

Iruka nipped an earlobe, then bit down a little harder.

"Ah-- okay-- maybe not--" Kakashi pulled up at the bottom of Iruka's shirt. "Up and off with this then--"

Iruka laughed softly and raised his hands, helping. "Ah, ah, okay, you next." He started tugging at Kakashi's shirt and got it off with minimal effort. He tossed it to the side.

"Oh, hey-- careful--"

"What?"

Kakashi leaned back a little, flicking his shirt out of the way. "We'll probably need this." He scooped up the small tube. "Hmm. Warms on contact with skin. Interesting."

"Did you not read the label on that?"

"Not really. I saw hypo-allergenic and flavorless." Kakashi folded a leg under himself, making his knee do something that wasn't quite normal to get his foot properly placed.

Iruka let his hips tilt as Kakashi shifted. With a leg under him he moved, got the other foot under him and well and pushed. Now he was crouching, hands settling at Iruka's waist to hold him still. Legs tightening, Iruka tilted his head back a little, cooing slightly. "Mm. Want me to hold that?"

Kakashi tried a small bounce-like motion. Iruka make a squeak-like noise, so he did it again, and chuckled. "Good spot then?"

"They're all good spots." Iruka hummed against his skin for a moment. "Let me off a second so I can get my pants off."

Kakashi nodded and let Iruka slide off, then he rolled to his back and kept rolling, balancing on his neck and shoulder as he pushed his legs straight up at the ceiling. He shifted his weight a little to the right and used his left hand to undo his pants. He returned to his back and stayed folded, with his feet pointed beyond his head. With his arms freed up he could drag the material down his thighs, then farther until he could just kick them off. He stretched back out on the bed, slightly spread eagle and had to lift his head to register the sound of clapping.

Iruka looked amused. His pants were folded over one arm, but his hands kept a nice, steady applause. "That was--" He put his clothes on the first non-bed-like flat surface and moved. He kneeled next to Kakashi's side, grinning. "Do you usually strip like that?"

"Only when I have an audience." Kakashi reached up and caught the ends of Iruka's hair, tugging down. "Preferably a captive audience. Don't suppose you have any rope handy?"

Iruka blinked, then blushed. "Yeah. With the rest of my gear." He was low enough now that his nose bumped Kakashi's. "Not that I'd leave anyway. I fully expect to find a mob of people chanting outside my door tomorrow-- demanding to kno--" a slight jerk on his hair and his lips were sealed with Kakashi's. Letting go of his hair, Kakashi reached over, a fingertip lightly brushing Iruka's belly. Iruka pulled away and gasped. "Right-- rope-- got it--"

Kakashi pushed himself to an elbow and watched Iruka rummage. It took a moment (mostly because Iruka kept tossing things that wouldn't work over his shoulder, like razor wire and rope meant to cut and grip) but he returned finally with a mess of white. "Is this good?" He pushed it forward, offering.

Kakashi looked at it carefully, mentally gauging the strength, and then he crossed his wrists deliberately, putting them over his head.

"Oh-- Oh no I couldn'-t-" Iruka pulled back, flushing.

"Why not?"

"Because, I don't know-- I-- it's just putting you in a kinda vulnerable position and-- ugh!" Iruka had meant to say more in his prattle, but Kakashi had moved. His leg had whipped around and knocked Iruka over. Iruka reacted automatically, rolling with the impact and going into a defensive crouch. But he was already too late, even as he started to turn, getting ready to kick Kakashi off balance, Kakashi had slipped his arms around him. Iruka tensed a second and relaxed as he felt lips against his neck. "Okay. You're right."

"Hmm?"

"I probably don't know how to put you in a vulnerable enough position for it to matter."

"Don't sell yourself too short. You knew I was behind you." Kakashi lipped at an ear, and re-crossed his wrists in front of Iruka. "Now, if you don't mind?"

Iruka paused. "Not like that."

"Why not?" Kakashi nibbled. "Would you be nervous?" He chuckled softly. "You could cast heiwa, I could come back in an hour when it wears off."

"No!" Iruka blushed. "I, I meant, I don't want to tie your hands together like that because that would make it hard to get at your neck, and, if I'm going to… I want you stretched out. I mean, I would want you stretched out."

"Put a lot of thought into this, hm?" Kakashi grinned and rubbed himself against Iruka's back. Kneeling behind the crouching Iruka, Kakashi could grind into the other man's bottom fairly easily. Iruka moaned, shuddering. "How are you picturing me tied up then? Are my feet up? Or is it just traditional spread-eagle?" He slid a hand around Iruka's waist, brushing his stomach then going lower to caress all the lovely shaved bits. "Maybe I'm on all fours?"

Iruka squirmed. "No, not quite."

"How then? Want to show me?"

Iruka gasped, then nodded. "Please."

Kakashi kissed his neck one last time and moved back. Iruka looked at the rope a minute, turning his head to locate Kakashi. Iruka shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Alright, lay down on the bed."

Kakashi obeyed, managing to make a lazy sprawl look like something that most gymnasts would have had to train to do as well. Iruka started to mentally drool, barely managing to keep from doing it physically. He paused and reached over the bed, finding his vest and fetching a small knife. One cut later and he had two decent lengths of rope. He thought about it a little and moved to the head of the bed, reaching down between the mattress and the wall to thread it through the frame. He paused and fiddled until they went around the legs too, making the ropes come from the corners of the bed. Six-wrist flicks later and he had slip knots at both of the free ends.

Kakashi tilted his head up and watched. "The frame?"

"Might break anything less sturdy." Iruka said, biting his lower lip and reaching. He caught Kakashi's leg below the knee, pulling it up enough Kakashi's hips were raised and tossing the loop around it. Then the other leg.

"Nice knots." Kakashi poked at one.

"I should be good enough at them, I've used 'em to keep students in place before."

"Ooh, not like this I hope." Kakashi grinned for a second, then clasped his hands together. "Oh, Iruka-sensei-- is this a new teaching method?" He cooed the words out, eyes shut, wriggling. "If I get the answers wrong are you going to poke me with your ruler Iruka-sensei?"

There was a resounding smack. Kakashi's eyes came open.

Iruka blushed, realizing what he had done, and he bowed his head to resume fiddling with the rope.

"I'm sorry, was I just spanked?"

There was a moment. "Yes. Yes you were. You're in a pretty good position for it so it might even happen again." Iruka stuck his tongue out at him.

"There are so very many better things you could do with that tongue. What a waste." Kakashi grumbled.

"I wouldn't want to spoil you."

"The hell with that! I want to be spoiled, for once." Kakashi reached out and pulled Iruka to him, twisting enough to get a grip on him. "I want it all-- I know I won't get it -- but I still want it, madly. I swear to give you everything I can if you'll try to return it." His lips moved against Iruka shoulder. He bit at it. "Spoil me."

Iruka held him a moment, then pushed his torso back in line. "Okay. I'll, I'll trade you everythings." Kakashi found himself on the receiving end of a deeply intense kiss, tilting his head back and accepting it. Iruka's hands were at his neck, touching lightly, sliding down to shoulders and pushing down. Kakashi groaned into it, letting the taste and force of the kiss spill into him. For once he was the one gasping for air when it broke off, long inhalations. Iruka didn't wait for him to recover, just flicked the ends of the second piece of rope around Kakashi's wrists. Pulling it tight brought the wrists together under Kakashi's back. They weren't crushed by weight because his hips were being held so high. Bowing his head down, Iruka nipped sharply at a nipple and used a free hand to stuff a pillow up under his captives' shoulder blades.

As an afterthought he folded a pillowcase into a strip and laid it across Kakashi's eyes. "Try not to knock it off."

Kakashi inhaled slowly, relaxing. "Yes Iruka…. sensei.."

"Oh, god please don't. I- I'll really cease to function if every time some wide-eyed little whiner talks to me I get a mental visual of you tied to my bed--" Iruka kissed his mouth again, then his ear, then lavished more attention on his neck. He slid a hand along Kakashi's back, farther, until he cupped ass. His hand went farther and tickled at the back of Kakashi's thigh. His lips went to just the very top of the hip bone, Kakashi's leg kept him from going farther down. It didn't prevent belly button access, however, so he slid his tongue across it.

[Anyone as fit as Kakashi wouldn't really have an innie so much as a slightly folded concave. So would Iruka. Just a random thought for the day I felt like sharing. Fear my generosity!]

Turning his head a little bit more meant he could flick his tongue across the head of Kakashi's cock. That got a good noise out of him, Kakashi's stomach tensed a little as Iruka repeated it a few times before pulling away. It was easier to get at from the other side, but Iruka took his time getting there. It seemed a waste to not kiss those legs at least a little. He pretended to ignore the fact that Kakashi's member looked rather, inviting. It had a curve to it, just touching belly skin.

'Spoil me'. Okay. Spoil you. Hmm. Iruka lower his head, nuzzling the slight hollows of Kakashi's upper thigh, close enough that loose dark hair was almost its own torture. Speaking of hair-- Not that Iruka had even mentally pondered if Kakashi was bleaching, his couldn't resist brushing his fingers through the proof. Ooh. Soft. Kakashi squirmed into the touch slowly, trying not to. Iruka flicked his tongue out lazily, tasting the hollow he was nuzzling. The skin there was almost silk-soft, a wonderfully forgotten spot. Iruka raised his free hand to touch there as well, and Kakashi let out a low frustrated growl, but got only a low laugh in response.

Well, at least it's a low husky laugh… URGH. If I had him tied up like this I'd be IN him by now. Kakashi felt that damn tongue finally move and do something useful, tracing swirls across his scrotum. Kakashi automatically tried to move a leg, to nudge Iruka into using more than just the overly clever tip of his tongue, and realized the rope had been, possibly, better placed then he thought. His thighs were really pinned like that, stretched open like a pinned bug. He tested the knots on his wrists awkwardly as his back arched. They were good knots, but he could have them undone in, maybe ten seconds if he was motivated. Iruka nipped something one does not usually associate with teeth and Kakashi cried out, rather forgetting what he'd been thinking about.

Iruka stopped fiddling with Kakashi's hair, touching the small of his back instead (the rope was short enough that he could slide his hand under the man easily). His lips hurried to soothe any damage his teeth might have done. Iruka didn't have any illusions about the fact that Kakashi was merely allowing him control and didn't want to push his luck too far. His hand went far enough back to tangle his fingers with Kakashi's a moment. Huh. So he did pick it up again. He took the tube back, managing to get the top off with one hand.

Iruka's grip was a tad too tight though-- he must have been squeezing because he now had a rather goopy mess in his hand. He had to sit up, unconsciously making a face at it. Hs automatic reaction would have been to shake his hand until it came off, but, the seemed rather wasteful. Oh, screw it. Probably better too much than too little. Make that definitely. Iruka shifted, pulled his face away a little and changed hands.

Kakashi made what, if anyone else had made it, would have almost counted as a squeal. "Cold!"

"It'll warm on contact with skin, remember?" Iruka had way, way too much and painted it along the bound man's length carefully. He sat up a little and nipped at Kakashi's ankle, using feeling to go lower, rubbing the squishier outer bits.

Kakashi made a mental note to test out anything he stole from Sasuke on something less delicate next time. The damn stuff felt downright hot, too much more and it'd be uncomfortable, but right at that level it was maddeningly good. "Gaa- I-Iruka-" Iruka's hand went lower, a finger almost shyly pushing at his entrance. "Get- Iruka-ah-"

Iruka didn't stop with the finger, pushing in slowly. "Yes?"

"Across--" Kakashi swallowed, feeling himself stretch slowly. Poor Ruru, do you still feel guilty about the teachers lounge? Kakashi took a breath-- Iruka hadn't gotten deep enough to touch anything good yet, thank god, so he could still speak. "Sit across me."

"Huh?"

"Legs next to my head." Kakashi explained. He laughed when he felt the bed shift, because he knew Iruka was turning his head away and blushing. "Please? I can't use my hands, my mouth is bored!" He grinned and licked his lips in the most outlandishly lewd manner he could manage. He even made his nose look perverted in the process, and it was only barely visible.

"I- I'm not going to be able to do anything right if you're doing that!"

"It's called oral sex, Iruka-sensei-" SMACK. Kakashi's rear now had two perfect red prints on it. "You can do that but you don't want to sixty-nine?"

"I- ah…" Iruka put his finger back with what some might think was undue force. Not out of cruelty, he was just flustered, and, like many people, needed something (or someone) to do with his hands when he was agitated. "But won't..." Iruka paused, pushing a little deeper, then pulling out. Repeating the motion. "I mean, there'd be, bits sitting on your face."

"Well, I seem to have a lazy man's blindfold in place," Kakashi drawled. "Plus, unless you've purchased some form of toupee you're still nicely shaved- so I really don't see- neeh!" He stopped talking, suddenly cut off, and melted.

"There then…" Iruka wiggled his finger, watching Kakashi's face. The man's lips were pink now, moist and parted. The teeth behind them didn't quite touch either, even when the head that held them lolled back. Iruka paused, fascinated, and Kakashi twitched, pushing his hips into Iruka's hand (or, rather, onto Iruka's finger). Then he mewled. The mewl did it. "Where did you want my legs?"

Kakashi grinned. "By my head, Ruru."

Iruka managed to keep his hand in place while moving. It required he put a little weight on Kakashi's legs. But Kakashi didn't complain, just tiled his head back a little more. "You know that without my hands your gonna have to- mph!"

Iruka cried out shortly, bit his lip. "I'm sorry, is that too much- I-"

Kakashi made a series of muffled noises that nearly made Iruka yowl. Iruka pulled back.

"That was too much, wasn't it?"

"GAH!" Kakashi kicked his feet futilely. "You spazzy little thing! Don't ask me questions when my mouth is full! If you do something I really don't like I'll tell you now get that back here and-- MPPH!"

Iruka made up for it by driving his well-slicked finger in to the knuckle, poking that one nice little spot repeatedly. Kakashi made an interesting strangled noise that escalated as Iruka returned the favor. It was, different, from that angle, but the flavorless label didn't lie. Iruka felt himself swallow automatically, getting most of the lube off the shaft.

[I blame that last sentence on the car show. Next we shall check Kakashi's oil with Iruka's dip stick. Smack the stick shift around and… so forth.]

There was still a lot of the slippery substance on his fingers, getting the second finger in was only difficult because of the rather intense distraction Kakashi was providing. Apparently going on the slightly dangerous and flawed logic that if Kakashi felt like he was going to gag he'd just bite, he let his hips drop. He slid his tongue to one side to make room for the mass in his mouth and bobbed forward. Once the last of the lube was off the texture of it was normal again. He swirled his tongue again, this time tasting the first tiny trickle of salty, bitter seed. Iruka hummed slightly smiling. That 'flavorless' substance had been odd, a lack of taste in these circumstances was off setting. He shut his eyes, for a moment, because watching his fingers disappear to the knuckle was way too distracting. If he was going to be distracted it was going to be by the wriggling, moaning person eagerly suckling at his own nether regions.

Considering his hands were pinned and he could barely move, Kakashi felt he was being exceptionally creative. He was making up for his inability to move with a vast array of muffled vocalizations, humming and squirming, getting as much motion as their positions would allow him.

Iruka felt his control starting to slip, hips aching to thrust into the overly friendly orifice. His hand tightened on the sheet until his knuckles went white, nails digging into his palm. The fingers in Kakashi scissored open, a third finger pushed eagerly in. Kakashi's back arched a little bit more as the longest two fingers started a fast internal massage.

"OouUuo-ahhh!" Kakashi translation: "Holyfuckinghell-Ahh!"

The timing was pretty good, as Iruka had been swallowing at the moment. The mess of thick strong fluid shot straight down his throat; Iruka could feel Kakashi semi-screaming into his groin. Nice feeling, but he pulled away from it, swinging a leg up and over to settle at Kakashi's side. Iruka's lips were still teasing at the sides of his captive's now wilting organ.

"Guuh-uh" Kakashi made himself suck in air. "Ah, 'Ruka-- what are you--"

"Shh, I'm not done with you yet." Iruka slide his free arm around Kakashi's hips in a loose embrace, leaning on him, nuzzling. "Just-- give me a second. These aren't too tight?"

Kakashi was quite sure if he relaxed anymore he'd melt clean out of the ropes anyway. "They're fine-- ahh--" He shivered slightly, Iruka had shifted his fingers a little.

Iruka let his free hand trace Kakashi's abdomen and up across the chest. He could feel Kakashi's heart calming, little by little, and settled his palm there for a second. Hmm. If I wiggle those fingers in there, I can feel his heartbeat change here. Iruka decided he rather liked that, and let his hand slide farther, until his thumb brushed Kakashi's lower lip. "Feeling spoiled yet?"

Kakashi tried to nip at the thumb and failed, let his head go back. "Maybe a little."

Iruka sighed. "Only a little? What would spoil you more then?" He shifted his hand, went back to two fingers and kept touching Kakashi's stomach. Light touches, smooth strokes, soft circles- Kakashi nearly purred into the attention, muscles un-tensing. It was a little awkward, but Iruka leaned over, lips brushing Kakashi's. "You see- mm-" He paused as Kakashi nipped his lip lightly. "You see, I don't want that to be it for you tonight." He glanced at the clock. "This evening, technically-- wow I have a whole lot of time to torment you don't I? Ah, by torment I mean spoil."

Kakashi wriggled a little, leaning his head up and stealing a kiss. "Are you going to let me see any of this tormenting?"

Iruka paused. "Umm."

Kakashi snickered suddenly. "You'd be embarrassed if I could see you, wouldn't you?" There was no response and Kakashi laughed. "You are! You don't want me to watch you plotting, thinking such dirty little thoughts-- And it's not just you being worried about your sweet little chaste image being ruined is it?"

Iruka turned flaming red pulling both hands to his chest. This involved a rather poor extraction that made Kakashi wince. "I-- no, I--" He stammered to a stop. "Do you really want to look at me that badly? I'm not-- it's not that interesting-- and I'm really-- broadcasting my moves here nothing would really… surprise you at all and--"

Kakashi managed to sit up, somehow, arms now behind his back, in spite of his legs being stretched out like a chicken ready for the cleaver. The material fell off his face into his lap.

"It's just that, there's so many things I want to do to you." Iruka said quietly, looking down. "I'm- I've been doing them to you mentally for.. A while but- obviously, you might have a few more- I don't know. I mean, tell me what to do and I'll try."

Tilting his torso was a tad trickier than just sitting up, but he managed to nudge Iruka's shoulder with his head. "Mm."

"Yeah?"

"Tsunade."

"The hell-"

"She was the first chesty female I could think of. For the clone I lost my virginity to." Kakashi flopped backward into his previous position. "Damn thing bamphed just as I was, well, finishing. I fell forward onto the table and didn't catch myself."

Iruka gave him a wide-eyed stare, jaw dropping.

"-and that's how I found out that even though the penis is not really a muscle, you can sprain it."

"Keh- keh-" Iruka sounded like he was choking.

"I hurt my back too. When I fell off the table onto my shoes."

There was a thud. Kakashi didn't look up to know Iruka had topple off the bed. "Try not to land on your dick, " he advised.

That did it. It was the final straw. Iruka started howling in laughter, apparently trying to muffled it with a pair of pants. Kakashi grinned slightly, tilting his head back and letting his eyes droop half shut. Victory. He lazily scratched his head before remembering he was suppose to be tied up. Oh, whatever. He laced his hands behind his head, not really concerned about his legs.

Iruka was crying now, salty tears being forced out by the sheer force of his hysteria. "Ga-yo-" His attempt at words shattered and he leaned against the bed, howling like a wolf. "Ah-ha-ha-ahh-iie-ah-haha-bamph! Heha-ha!"

Kakashi finally gave up, undoing the knots and slinking to the edge of the bed to look at Iruka. The other man had one arm at his slid, the other across his stomach. One leg was slightly bent, the other out straight. Hell, he was still hard, flushed, deeply aroused, and in spite of it laughing so hard something might burst, crying like someone had killed his dog. To top all of that off his even managed to look embarrassed that he was laughing at someone.

Kakashi fell in love with him. He'd been verging on it-- hell, he'd been trying not to, but-- there it was. Damn. Not that he hadn't seen it coming-- he'd just wanted Iruka to love him first. Because, in Kakashi's head, crushes and infatuations and really (really frighteningly fabulous) good sex weren't love. Love was-- damn. Love was. Love was something that killed you if it got taken away. Up to this point Iruka being, taken away would have hurt, but Kakashi would have survived it fairly well. Up to this point. Damn fuck damn.

Damn morbid thoughts. He thought, pushing it all to one side of his brain. Formulate plan and go-- first objective, fix Iruka.

Oh god I really- can't- stop laughing- oh- ah- ow- my chest hurts- ow, ow, God- Iruka's head went back. Snap out of it- snap out of it- ahh- what? "Ah- wha-ahha-ha-" He choked back his mirth as Kakashi shifted into his lap. "Ka-Kakashi- ah- heh-"

Kakashi clucked his tongue softly, cupping Iruka's jaw with both hands. "Shh shh." He was sitting sideways, leaning in to mouth slowly at Iruka's ear. "Are you done laughing at me?"

"I- I'm sorry- I'm sorry-" He actually tried to bow from his position, but Kakashi just caught him, held him. "Ah-ha-ha-I, I can't- ah-" His tears felt hot against Kakashi's skin. "I- I'm sorry."

"I wanted to hear you laugh." Kakashi said. "So why should you be sad? The tears are odd. Do you know why you're crying, my Ruru?"

"Your Ruru?" Iruka made a noise like a giggle, that wavered off into a sob noise. "I don't know- I don't know- I- It- I'm sorry!" He sucked in a lung full of air and bit his lip hard. It kept him from laughing but he could still feel tears leaking out of his head.

"Because, if it's some sort of ploy to make yourself less attractive looking, it's not going to work. Not that it's your best face, but after all those tears, your eyes are red-rimmed in a very intriguing fashion." He dropped his voice, deep in Iruka ear. "You have a couple other faces that you make that I like too."

Iruka squeaked and warmed Kakashi's shoulder with his blush.

"Oh, not those faces, different faces. The one you make over tea, for example."

Iruka blushed harder, but he started to nibble at the skin in front of him. He paused, lips slowing over a pulse point. "How- do you do this to me. I feel like- It's like-"

"Do I hurt you?" Quizzical tone, slight concern as Kakashi's hand came up and brushed through dark sweaty hair.

"No, you- it's- just you- It's intense. You're intense. This whole- thing- is, It's intense." Iruka started kissing at him again. "It's a lot."

"Too much?"

"No!" Iruka kissed him. "Next time- just hit me. I'll snap out of it. It's not too much- nothing you do to me is too much." He put his arms around Kakashi's waist, hands going across his back. "I'm yours- after all. Everythings and so forth-"

Kakashi smiled, nodded. "Should I tie myself back up then?" Iruka laughed and shook his head. "Come on then-" He stood up, pulling Iruka with him. "Come here." His hands settled at Iruka's hips, pulling their bodies flush.

"Ah-" Iruka's eyes shut as Kakashi's tongue flicked over them, gathering tears and sweat. He gasped softly. "I need-"

"I know." Crying and hysterical laugher might have tempered it for a moment, but his 'Ruru's libido hadn't died. The erection beginning to strain against Kakashi's slowly stiffening member was proof of that. He rocked his hips against Iruka's and got a positively illegal moan out of him. Scratch the slowly stiffening bit. Kakashi loosened his grip on Iruka and fell back, stretching on the bed and wriggling backwards. Iruka had to pause and stare. Kakashi sat up a little, smiling softly.

Kakashi's legs were fairly spread, one was bent while the other he used to rub against Iruka's leg, up to his hip and side. "Ah, Kakashi-" Iruka followed him, pressing himself into the other, kissing at his neck then lips. "You don't need to, you know, be bottom."

"Ahh- but I'm curious now." Kakashi looped an arm around his neck, lips attacking lips for a long moment. "I want to know what kind of lover you are, and I want to know every aspect of that." He nipped at Iruka's ear. "Besides, you already have me all ready." He purred that line out, cooed it.

Kakashi could have read the phone book in that tone of voice and Iruka would have sat and listened for hours. As it was, he just pushed against Kakashi on the bed, getting a knee down and reaching a hand between them. He caught both their lengths in his hand for a moment, whimpered and let go, leaning his torso back. Now he could reach down farther, pushing hastily. Thank god he's still slick- He pushed two fingers in at once, spreading them. Kakashi moaned, lifting his hips. "I'm- I can't wait-" Iruka put more of his weight on his knee and freed up his other hand. Once he was gripping himself, aim was easy. He nearly fell forward, pulling out his fingers and slapping down that hand to keep from face planting on Kakashi. Buy- more- of-this-stuff- He thought incoherently as he slid in. All the way in. The heat the stuff was generating was bizarre, but the heat pouring from Kakashi was insane. Like drowning. He pushed into it, hard, Kakashi cried out, back arching. It was a good cry, it shook him, and he pushed into it again. And again.

He did look unbelievable, Iruka noted hazily. His eyes were swimming in and out of focus, sure, but that didn't mean Iruka was past appreciating a beautiful thing. Kakashi's legs and ass made a soft impact noise every time he went forward. Just the sheer tightness of him meant that every time Iruka pulled back he was met with as much friction as a thrust.

"Ah, Ruru-" Kakashi's hands were pulling at his shoulders, not clawing, the flats of his palms pulled across Iruka's skin as if to use the slight friction of their sweaty contact to pull their bodies together. "My- mine. My 'ruka-" Iruka shut his eyes as Kakashi strained his neck to kiss at him, tongue pressing hot and flat to swipe across the scar. "Ha-harder- you're not gonna hurt me-"

"Ah-okay-" Not as if Kakashi had to beg to get compliance. Iruka put his back into it, shifting balance until he could pump at Kakashi's cock. The vibration of their intercourse shook the bed enough it rattled the table and knocked a pile of loose papers across the floor. It totally ruined the order they were in, and later that evening Iruka had to re-alphabetize them.

Kakashi didn't really try to hold on. His logic was pretty sane; Iruka wasn't going to last long anyway. Therefore if Kakashi came a few seconds before him it wouldn't really affect Iruka coming any. Anyway, he didn't try to hold on, just let his arms fall to the sheets and grip them as he screamed.

That froze in Iruka mid thrust. Not that he thought Kakashi sounded like he was in pain, the noise was a far from pain as one could get- but-

Kakashi eyes were wide, pupils dilated. He could have been wearing lipstick, that's how crimson his mouth looked, parted to try to breathe. His cheeks were painted bright red by the orgasm, almost mottled down his chest. It was only for a second, it went to a smoother pink nearly instantly, but for just a heartbeat there his skin had been a sharp edged red pattern. His nipples, which had been such tight little nubs, softened and turned pink enough to be visible. The splatter of sticky white on his stomach and chest was melting into his sweat, vanishing on areas that were less flushed.

It only took a second to take all this in before Iruka was crying out as well, falling forwards after his limbs decided to ignore him. Lucky him Kakashi had regained enough brain cells to catch him, pull him down and nuzzle weakly. Iruka just made a soft whimper like moan, going still and then slowly nosing back. He shifted, pulled himself out slowly and got a little closer, nose to nose.

Kakashi could feel Iruka heart slowly start to settled against his. Mmm. Definitely mine. He went on his side a little, pulling the blankets awkwardly around them until they were cocooned. My Ruru- He chuckled softly, almost faintly and Iruka looked up at him. Ah- there. That's what I was waiting for. Kakashi grinned broadly and Iruka smiled back before melting against him in a snuggle.

Well. Snuggling was fine with Kakashi, after all. It let him start to plot, in a slightly fuzzy, sleepy, distracted fashion. Perhaps not quiet the order I would have liked it, but whether you really know it or not yet I've finally gotten you to fall for me. Here Kakashi inserted a tiny mental pat on the back, because getting someone to love you was no easy task, even when they thought they already did. Now to make sure I tell you first. Because, Kakashi, being the occasionally greedy bastard he was, had no intention of being the one who had to listen to the heartfelt outpouring only to meekly parrot back 'I love you too' at the end. Any heartfelt declaration of love I spew out will not be watered down with the word 'too'. It's simply a way to ruin an otherwise decent sentiment.

Besides… I'm not the one that needs to hear it, my lover. I already know you love me, I don't doubt what I see in your eyes. You're the one who thinks I'm about to get bored- Oh, look, you fell asleep- He brushed his fingers through the now snoozing Iruka's hair, the other hand touching his back. I'll let you sleep a while then.

It took another hour before he drifted off, but he'd had a much duller day than Iruka, after all. Besides, anyone as high strung as Iruka was bound to be able to wear themselves out fairly quickly. The man had nearly given himself three and a half panic attacks that day alone.

Kakashi grinned, thinking of that. Well, he'll probably have a few more once I have my plan all worked out. I think I have a FEW more embarrassing stories to snap him out of it with.

~*~*~*~

The kids were staring at the board. If you were an small child thing faced with a large, detailed drawing of a woman in a slip you'd be staring too.

"And as you can see, the semi-clothed woman is usually far more effective a technique than the classic nude, as they have to stop and mentally strip her." Kakashi drawled lazily, finishing a sort of doodled flower on one partially off the shoulder strap. He wasn't really looking, in fact one would almost think he was reading from the book he was absorbed in. Except the book he was absorbed in did not seem to be the type one would read to children.

Of course, one wouldn't think that one would give the lingerie catalogues in stacks around the room to kids either, and yet there they were.

"Curving the spine to arch the back will both boost the distraction power of the breast and allow you to reach behind your back for a kunai without fear of them looking at your hands." He glanced at the clock. Five minutes until Iruka showed up wondering why his class wasn't loitering outside like they usually would before school. That gave him four and a half minutes to leave without having to pry sharp objects out of his ass. "Some men prefer legs. If you're standing, having your buttocks facing them while turning at the waist enough to show breasts while winking or looking sultry will cover all normal preferences."

One child raised her hand. "Are.. Are you sure Iruka-sensei asked you to come in?"

"Of course he did. He was worried by the square condition of the asses of your Ooiroke no Jutsu." Kakashi said, turning a page. "He even paid for the reference materials."

"Did he get them at a discount? This one's dirty."

"If the pages stick just use gloves when you study them. Your father's might have more, be sure to test your technique on them." He waved his hand lazily. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have my own students to attend to. Tell your sensei his boyfriend says hello." And with that he left in a breath of air and a puff of smoke.

Kakashi nearly tripped when he re-appeared in a second puff of smoke on the roof of the school. "Dammit! How the fuck does he stagger around without depth perception!" He shoved the forehead protector out of the way and rubbed at his eye. "Ugh- and it's hot." He bitched to himself, dropping the transformation. "Heh. Let's see that bastard get laid for a week."

The real Kakashi had set the class meeting time for about an hour or so from now, so Sasuke went home instead. He barely bothered to kick off his shoes on the way in, fully planning on curling back up next to Naruto until he had to leave.

"Hey, where'd ya go?" Naruto asked, barely looking up from his scroll. His hands were clasped in a seal.

"Thought you were sleeping."

"I woke up when the bed got cold." He shrugged. "Thought I'd practice a little 'til I had to go. Wanna help?"

"You don't help people practice hand seals dobe, you just sit around until they match the pictures."

"You could list off seals and see if I can do 'em right as fast as you say 'em." Naruto said, shrugging and nudging the scroll open more. "But that's okay. Did you go train?"

"No. Just had a chore I needed to get done as soon as I could." Sasuke grinned broadly. Sure it had cost him all his soft-core lingerie stroke material, but it was so worth it. Besides… The good stuff was still under his bed.

Naruto paused. "You still haven't told me why you're so damn happy."

"You should know. You were the one who informed me I'd be a halfway decent person if I just got laid." Sasuke hopped onto the bed behind Naruto, sliding both arms around his waist.

"I said you'd be a halfway decent person if you got someone to fuck the stick out of your ass." Naruto grumbled. "Don't misunderstand me- mee- mmmm-" Sasuke had decided to avoid further bickering by nibbling at the back of his neck. He would have gone for Naruto's ears except his sleeping cap was eating his head and they were being digested. Oh well. Each bony point in his spine had nearly the same reaction. Sasuke tugged the back of the faded striped shirt down to get to the next point. "Hey, hey don't we have to be going soon-"

"Do 'tiger'." Sasuke said, biting the head-eater and flicking his head, tossing it to the side. Ahh, ears…And people think ankles are the weak points.

"Tiger? Is that what you named the stuffed cat?"

"Wha- NO! I meant the hand seal!" Sasuke flushed, indignant. "Forget about Fluf- the cat!"

"You named it Fluffy?"

"Fluffers, but that's beside the damn point!" Sasuke bit the top of Naruto ear in frustration, reaching his hands down farther and groping. Naruto yelped and squirmed. "Now try to do 'horse' while you're distracted."

"Gaah-"

…

Actually, he could. He was doing really well, considering, right up until Sasuke sprawled in his lap with the last of the blackberry jam in one hand.

There are some seals you just can't do with one hand. Even more you can't do with your hands busily ripping off pants.

~*~*~*~

Sakura sat by herself for a full hour and a half. She'd even shown up late, dammit, instead of earlier to avoid trying not to look or think about Sasuke while he was there. It was going to be hard, years of training meant she was programmed to fawn a certain amount. She was so nervous about seeing him that she didn't notice he wasn't there for a full thirty minutes.

Then she was just confused, because Naruto wasn't there either. Sure, in theory after Kakashi had caught them like that they could probably slack off, after all, who wouldn't expect them to, but, Sasuke had only even been late once. It was creepy.

Creepy. Good word to describe her week. Sakura shuddered thinking about it. Yes, she knew what boy bits looked like (thanks to baby sitting and accidentally tripping over a stack of filthy comics at a friend's house), yes she'd had a few fantasies about Sasuke that veered… to the obscene… but NONE of them involved him- oh, what was the word? The term? Jerking off. Yeah. That was it. None of them involved Sasuke jerking off on her stuffed cat.

It hadn't been there when she made herself go back in her room either. He must have taken it, was all she could think. Her now dead grandmother had given her that cat in a rare moment of lucid thought.

Sakura pulled her knees to her chest.

"First one here?"

"You're late." She said, not looking up.

"Sorry, sorry. Got distracted by Iruka. He's quite concerned you'll think he's some sort of leper now." Kakashi said, sitting down on the nearest rock suitable for the task. "Something about you running away from him."

Sakura blushed. "I thought he might try to deny it today. If he saw me."

"Does it bother you?"

"I- I don't know- it's-" She stopped. "This would be easier to think about if the rest of my week had been- between Naruto groping me so hard I have handprints- the- this other thing- and now- you and Iruka-sensei-"

"Mm." He nodded and turned the page in his book.

"You're not even listening!"

"You haven't called me disgusting yet. That was all I was listening for." He said, looking over his book. "I don't really care what you think -- as it's none of your business -- but it's important to him."

"I'll go talk to him later then."

"Today might not be a good day. He just found out how many people know and is convinced there's going to be a scandal." Kakashi put his book away. "Well, come on then. Today is a D-rank and we'll waste the rest of the day sparring."

"Shouldn't we wait for Sa-" She stopped. "The others?"

Kakashi paused. Sure, she'd done that particular type of switch before, back when she'd attempted subtlety on her crush. But this time she sounded like she didn't want to think about Sasuke. He thought about the cat and smiled slightly to himself. "I'll think of something special for them."

Considering the scent of the pond from his last something special was still clinging to her hair after several showers, she felt a tiny pang of sympathy for her teammates. But it didn't last long.

Several hours later-

"Uugh-" She grunted slightly in a very un-lady like fashion to get the last of the books off the cart onto the shelf. That did it for 'M'. Good god how many people have family names that start with n?

Kakashi was still there, at least. She glanced up again and located his foot dangling over the edge of the bookshelf. He'd been up there since they arrived, apparently reading. At least someone can get me out if a stack falls on me.

Sure, alphabetizing seemed like a rather plush job, but due to the fact that 90 of the books and scrolls were on various jutsu, they wanted ninjas to put them away. And they were all HUGE. Massive rolls of hide and parchment and papyrus and great honking stacks of thin brittle rice paper bound between thin sheets of wood, hell, there were a few STONE tablets in there. She'd stopped at one point and put on the light cotton gloves the man at the desk had given her, but it was to late to undo the fifty paper cuts. And her shoulders ached from it all by now.

She kicked rather than pushed the cart back to the 'do' pile and started to load it up with any books she could find that started with 'N-a'. Nautical charts, Natural history, Narcotics in Nature, and - "OW!"

A rather thick purple book had fallen off a higher shelf and drilled her in the head. "Ow…." She grumbled, rubbing her head and bending over to pick it up. "N-A?" She mumbled to herself. Yeah, it started with an 'N-A'. She looked at the rest of the letters and flushed bright, bright red. I didn't even know the library HAD these books… I guess it is the restricted section… She moved to stick it in the sort pile and a few things fell out of it.

Not that she noticed everything that was in there at first, because her eye was drawn first to the blatantly pornographic centerfold on the magazine that had been folded in half and used as a bookmark. "Keh-" Inner Sakura nearly came out of her ear to ogle it. "Keh!"

Pick it up! You know you want too! Inner Sakura hooted. Look at his fabulous, ahh, Here Inner Sakura giggled a bit. Bandages! Yes, look at the bandages!

Sakura glanced up and relocated Kakashi foot before crouching down and poking at the glossy paper. The centerfold was a punk-ish looking teen with spiked hair, enough piercings to look as if he'd had a run in with a tackle box, a few tattoos and little else. Unless you counted heavy black boots as clothes, which Sakura didn't, he was bare ass nude. And hung and horny. Inner Sakura commented, leering. Turn the page!

Sakura felt herself turning bright and brighter red, but she did flip through it. All of the, ahh, models, looked to be older teens, possibly early twenties, most had various body modifications, and every last one of them got Inner Sakura's full and total vote of approval. She was flipping back to look at the twins again (the logical part of her head was seriously confused by the see-saw like thing they were sitting on, at least that was her reasoning for going back) when Kakashi coughed quietly. From right behind her.

"EE!" She threw the thing straight into the air as if hoping it would somehow stick to the ceiling, never to be heard from again. Ahhh!

Kakashi reached up lazily over her head and caught it. "What had your attention so thoroughly grasped?" He held it gingerly by one corner in a manner that fully displayed the centerfold. "Ahh."

"It's not mine it fell out of- it fell out of this! I was, ah, looking for a name!" She dropped to her knees and grabbed the purple book, shoving it at Kakashi. "I'm not a perverted freak! REALLY!" She spotted the other thing that had fallen out. "See! Look, this is it's checkout card- that last person who checked it out was-" She stopped and gaped, mouth moving like a fish out of water.

Kakashi (still holding the magazine) leaned over to see what she was staring at with wide eyed horror. Then he started to laugh. It was very quiet, subdued laughter but it was enough to get Sakura's attention.

"I don't think it's very funny Kakashi-sensei!"

He dropped the magazine onto the table. "Oh, yes it is." He glanced at the clock. "Go ahead and take a break. Go eat, be back here in an hour or so. I'm going to locate your wayward teammates." Then with a poof- he was gone.

This left Sakura with the check out slip for 'Naughty Nude Nixens from Space!' that declared, in tidy handwriting, that Umino Iruka had checked it out on a the second Saturday in August. About thirteen years ago. His handwriting is exactly the same. Inner Sakura commented, trying to prod her outer self into motion. Hey, take the magazine on your way out!

Sakura shook her head at Inner Sakura. Aww, come on. It's give you something pretty to moon over while Sasuke goes back to being sane. Or did you enjoy last nights nightmares?

Sakura grabbed the magazine and blocked out anything that might traumatize her more. Particularly the fact that, technically, she'd just looked at gay porn with her teacher. Gahh-

There is something seriously wrong with this town, dammit!

~*~*~*~

Iruka was shaking. It looked like a tremor, all his muscles pulled so tight that they were warring to create almost a blurred outline of himself. He tried, vaguely, to remember the last time he'd been this pissed off and failed. Nothing Naruto had ever done had done more that toss him into a rage for a moment or too…

This…. What- Kaka-bastar- FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

That was about all the farther he could get in that train of thought. The room smelled like smoke, because he'd taught the children how to start fires with their kunai and the flints in their kits. The burning material had been…

Had been- that…. Bastard… Kakashi- fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Iruka gritted his teeth. That- what- "ARGH!" He slammed his head down on the table, hard. More than once. "Dumb-bastard-fucker-jerk-off-son-of-a pig-whore-FUCK!" He kept his head down, staring at the (dented) desk. "Fuck." He nearly whimpered it. "Stupid Kakashi-" He was aware he was whining and stopped doing it out loud.

Aside from full bodied rage- he was- confused. That made the rage harder to deal with.

"Iruka Sensei, your boyfriend told us to come in early-"

'Boyfriend'. Fuck. What a truly evil way to introduce himself. Bastard. Fucker. Maybe if he'd just let them in- but- then-

Dear god some of the magazines had been… Sticky…. And- sticky…. And-

Iruka growled. Far too many of the kids had been asking FAR too many questions about some of the more suggestive images. Those poor little girls- he's let the boys go home early and spent a full hour explaining to them that his 'boyfriend' was a very (very very very very) stupid man at times and that they were to ignore him from now on. Then he'd given a secondary talk about how, one, they would all grow into lovely women, and two, they all had the makings of excellent shinobi. Then he complimented the hell out of them. Then he sent them home too. Luckily the fact he was three seconds from hunting down said 'boyfriend' and ripping out his spine seemed to be pretty apparent to the kids- but he was still expecting note and call and visits from parents…

Then he'd curled up under his desk after locking the doors and slamming the windows shut. And now he was sitting at it, alternating between snarls and tears.

Used the word boyfriend.

Boyfriend. Boyfriend. The term had obvious implications, at the very least it was a step above fuck-buddy.

Boyfriend. Iruka whimpered. He'd have killed to been here to hear him SAY that- but if he'd been there he'd have been screaming his head off attempting to summon something large (like a dragon. Or a really, really big land shark….. not that he HAD any sort of summon but if he had he'd have wanted it to be large with Kakashi-chewing teeth for the occasion).

That bastard. That bastard. What had he been thinking- was it just to- to piss me off? Iruka put his arms on the desk to cushion his head. Because if that was a prank it went too far- he should be- dammit! DAMMIT DAMMIT BASTARD FUCK!

If this was a joke it wasn't funny. If this was some stupid way of showing affection it wasn't working.

"ARGH!" He stood up and kicked the desk, automatically stuffing chakra into his leg and foot and sending the damn thing sailing. "Fuck fucking FUCK!" I haven't used this much profanity since I was a student-teacher trying to get fully certified- He thought inanely, then sat down, his anger spent. This- how the hell do I confront him about this? Oh hell- I can't- If I just try to face him-

I'll probably turn into putty. I'll get mad and hysterical and he'll somehow- fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Okay. Facing him is out…What the hell am I suppose to do then?

He made a weird noise and realized to his utter horror he was probably starting to cry. "D-d-dammit-" He bite his lower lip. Can't face him. Can't beat sense into him. Can't- can't even threaten to dump him because he'd have to say we were dating first and- hell- who am I kidding, I couldn't let him go over anything- I don't even know what it'd take before I stopped loving him.

I think I'd have to die first. Iruka went back to shaking, which, was, admittedly, better than crying except his cheeks were already wet and his eyes were probably, 'red-rimmed in a very intriguing fashion'. And it can't be a good sign that I really, really want to hear him teasing me right now, distracting me, even though his head on a spike sounds equally good.

Fuck. But- I can't- He can't do something like this again. He just- he can't. Fuck- I don't even have a real threat… What am I supposed to do- declare guerrilla warfare and no sex?

Deep, deep in the recesses of Iruka's 'good person' brain, a small cluster of cells that had been preserved with alcohol from his teenage year woke up groggily and asked- why not?

Because.. Umm. How do you declare war on a friend?

I dunno dude. You fried us yeears ago.

Sorry about that.

Anyway- do the war thing. Sounds fun. Then the cell, looking around and seeing a distinct lack of porn or booze, passed back out.

Iruka stopped shaking after a long while. Then he carefully got up and found a blank scroll in the drawer of his desk that had shot out. It's not like he cares enough to ruin his reputation- but I'm sure I could, at the very least, deprive him of sleep and keep him stress out enough he at least regrets making me made a little.

Alright. Alright alright- you're pretty damn good at planning thing, 'ruka-- Let's see. He chewed on his pen, thinking. Guerilla warfare… He's teased too deeply this time- He let himself get mad again, but not blindingly mad. And this is NOT a proper prank- He grinned, starting to feel evil. The drunken teenage cells reintegrated themselves, sensing action. No, no, I'll have to show him a proper prank- dammit I was a legend at the time! They never ever would have made me a teacher if I'd been CAUGHT more than a third of the time! I'd have painted that damn mountain myself if I'd had thought of it- I'll show that good-for-nothing-fluffy-headed-lackadaisical-lover-of-mine what a real prank feels like!