Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Ninja's Little Book of Poetry and Rants ❯ Run, Chouji, Run! ( Chapter 2 )

Running Equals Priority

 

I, Akimichi Chouji, am not afraid to admit it—I'm not thin, like Shikamaru or Neji or Naruto or Kiba. My weight is more on the…big-boned…side. As much as I could, I thought up of excuses just to get out of those damn drills Asuma-sensei gave me! It worked, too. For eighteen years, I was able to evade running, jogging, or anything faster than five miles per hour (unless it was a mission).

 

But then, it all changed. Right after that day…

 

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…

 

I wonder if they've forgiven me yet?

 

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If there was anything that I hated most in this world, it would be exercising. Especially running. (Thank goodness I wasn't in Gai-sensei's squad; I heard his drills are HORRIFYING!)

 

So, anyway, here I was, minding my own business, walking towards Ichiraku—I was meeting Naruto and Shikamaru there; I would've chosen that barbeque place—when all of a sudden, I heard someone shriek:

 

“I know! He's so dense sometimes…Oh, I'm so sorry for you,” a familiar voice (definitely female) said, patting someone's back.

 

I stopped and looked to my left. There, I heard some girls getting into the hot tub, giggling. Who's dense?

 

“B-but, TenTen-san…” the other girl, who was of course Hinata, stuttered.

 

“don't worry, Hina-chan, he'll come to his senses someday!” Ino's voice rang. (I could recognize hers from anywhere! Geez, that girl could pro'lly be heard all the way from Yukigakure…)

 

“That blonde, no-good, dense, ramen lover will ask you out in no time!”

 

Ah, so the girls are talking about him.

 

Typical.

 

“I'll take care of Naruto's thick head for you; I'm his teammate-slash-friend, after all,” Sakura replied. I imagined her smiling that scheming smile; she used that once on me, and I ended up inside the dunk-box for some charity for the hospital!

 

Poor Hinata; my pity went straight to her. Sakura and mischievous create something very…catastrophic.

 

“Sa-Sakura-san…I d-don't think…”

 

“Relax, I won't hurt him…much,” the medic-nin snickered. “Oh, Hinata-chan, I'm just kidding!” Yeah, right. “But I will give him a little talk; you can't stop me from that.”

 

“H-hai…”

 

It was silent for a moment, and people moving around in the water was only heard. Then:

 

“You know what, I think we get more courtesy from Chouji more than Naruto, don't you think?”

 

My whole body froze; did they just compliment me?

 

“I agree, Ino…Maybe, Hinata, you should go after him, instead.”

 

I leaned closer to the wooden boards, trying to comprehend what they just said.

 

“Na-nani?! I—”

 

“Yeah! He'd be perfect! Hina-chan, you could use him to your advantage!”

 

Say WHAT?!

 

“B-but, Ino-san…”

 

“I mean, sure, he's a bit overweight—” Gee, THANKS Ino, for being such a GREAT friend. “—but he's good on the inside!”

 

“Yeah!” TenTen shouted. “You could use Chouji to make Naruto jealous!”

 

My face flinched.

 

They wanted me to be used as a decoy.

 

That hurt. Badly. Women don't know how bad they hurt a man's pride and ego when they do stuff like that. I may not like Hinata, and I'd be more than willing to help her and Naruto hook up. But being used to turn Naruto into a envious ninja was something not so high on my priority list.

 

And that's when everything came down. Literally.

 

As I punched the side of the boards in anger, they came toppling down, with me going with them. I stood there, kneeling on top of the wood, as my beady eyes met startled ivory, sapphire, pearl, and burgundy.

 

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Hinata had turned beet red, sinking deeper into the water, while Sakura, Ino, and TenTen, quickly grabbed their towels to hide themselves.

 

“You…pervert…”

 

“I-I swear!” I stuttered, my own face turning Hinata's flushed face. “It was an…accident?”

 

“And we thought you were a ladies' man!”

 

That was the time I discovered there was only one way out of this, and that very same tactic was the one I hated, but the only way out of having a chance to live.

 

Running.

 

“LET'S GET `IM, GIRLS!”

 

I was a mass of red blur as three half-naked girls sprinted after me, complete with shuriken and kunai that TenTen provided.

 

Whack. Bam. Tap-tap-tap-tap. Shing! Tap-tap-tap. Fwhooosh.

 

Running was never high on my priority list…but now—

 

“AKIMICHI CHOUJI, GET YOUR FAT ASS BACK HERE!”

 

Bash. Ching! Trak-trak-trak. Bam! Crash. Fwing!

 

—now it couldn't be helped!

 

“I'M SORRY!”

 

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Moral: Men should never eavesdrop on women…the consequence is severe.

 

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Author's Notes:

 

My Disclaimer is that I do not own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

 

That was my response to kiquieshia's (on Neopets) challenge: a story/prose/poem on the topic, “Running.” …at least, something of that sort. -sweatdrop- Sorry, kiquishia!

 

Hope you enjoyed the crack/fluff/comedy-ish one-shot!

 

The next piece will be serious; I promise. -winkwink-

 

…By the way, my brother eats the flames. So don't you dare! -wickedgrin-