Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ The Ikari Doctrine ❯ The Loyalty of Friends ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. A company named Gainax does. If they request I take this off of the net then I will.

A/N: This one probably won't be that funny. I gotta start like a bond or something between them for the sync training. Lot of mistakes in this chapter, sort of in a rush, I got midterms this week so brainpower has been cut to a minimum (you know like breathing) Read it anyway.

If it is in Italics, it is thought

If not in Italics it is either descriptive or action

If it is in "…" then apparently this is speech.

The Ikari Doctrine: Chapter 5 / The Loyalty of Friends

Shinji turned away from Toji and Kensuke with memory sticks in hand and began to head back to his apartment. He got about ten steps before he remembered a crucial part of the plan.

Damn I must be slippin.

He turned around and jogged back up to Kensuke and Toji.

"Forget something Shinji?"

"Yeah, sort of. Look, I appreciate you two helping me out with my plans and I'm real sorry for what Asuka is going to do to whoever she catches first, probably some form of physical torture that may lead to a merciful death, but now it has turned in to an "every man for himself" kinda situation. Toji and I both can run pretty fast so I'm sure we can avoid the bloodthirsty red head that is sure to be after us. That just leaves you Kensuke. I truly am sorry, so I got you this." Shinji pulled a little stunner out of his pocket and handed it to a dreadful looking Kensuke. "While she is ruthlessly beating you touch the end of it to her and press the button, that should give you just enough..."

Shinji looked past Kensuke's stunned face to see a redhead run out of the locker rooms and look to the left and right.

Time to make tracks.

"Good luck and see you later….hopefully."

Shinji took off like a bolt of lightning without a second glance leaving the other two stooges with looks of betrayal written all over their faces.

Kensuke was the first to recover and recognized the device in his hand. He looked over at Toji and decided that his friend wouldn't come out of the shocked state he was in for a moment or so. He turned around to look at an angry looking redhead about fifty feet away scanning the area for…him.

Now I see why Shinji left so abruptly. I believe I got the raw end of the deal on this one, just because I can't run as fast as moron over here… yes moron over here!

By this time Toji came out of the stupor he was in and turned to Kensuke.

Toji looked to where Kensuke's eyes were plastered to see the redhead recognize him at the same time he recognized her.

Time to go.

"Thanks for taking one for the team Kensuke; I'll send flowers to your funeral."

Well fuck you too Toji. Kensuke idly thought

Toji turned to start his sprint when all of a sudden the most excruciating pain he had ever felt went coursing through his body. Toji promptly found himself curled into a fetal position lying on the concrete.

That should do it.

Kensuke looked at his camera and camcorder hung around his neck and decided that they weren't worth taking the risk, I can always get knew ones, so he deposited them on Toji's shaking form. He turned back to see the redhead gaining ground on the two of them so he decided to make a dash for it.

Just one more thing though.

"Thanks for taking one for the team Toji." He said, with little loss of sarcasm, while bending down and putting the stunner beside Toji, and just like that the bi-spectacled boy disappeared into the rest of the crowd.

Betrayed by my best of friends.

Toji regained the sense of sight only to find the object of his hatred staring down at him evilly; he desperately tried to reach for the stunner only to find his coordination was thrown off by the earlier shock to his nervous system. Asuka bent down and picked up the stunner casually.

"Now what is this that you have brought for us to play with?" Asuka asked innocently.

********************************************************* ***************

Shinji finally slowed down as he reached the elevator too his apartment. He decided that taking his chances was not the best of ideas. He could handle the second child after she had vented the first wave of vengeance, he was sure the second and third waves would be diminished greatly.

"I'm home Misato!"

"Good, where's Asuka at?" She replied sticking her head out of the kitchen area.

"She'll be another thirty minutes or so."

My friends will likely pass out after that long then it won't be as meaningful a revenge for her.

"What's taking her so long?"

"She's venting some anger at school still, you know, the whole face thing."

"Oh… best to let her vent then."

I don't want to deal with her that's for sure.

Shinji made his way over to the couch school bag in hand. After making himself comfortable he broke out his laptop and started it up.

Now to insure the photos aren't disposed of prematurely.

Shinji inserted the memory card into the laptop and e-mailed them to… himself.

He had already gotten a new and ambiguous e-mail account just for this purpose.

He also uploaded the pictures into a place set aside for pilot use in the Magi.

That should do it.

He then went into Asuka's room and taped the memory cards onto the back of her bed's headboard.

She'll never look here.

Shinji, pictures now secure, headed into the living room and plopped down on the couch like he didn't have a care in the world. His manor might have suggested carefree but in actuality he was ready to defend against any initial attacks. He thought he was anyway, he got the short attention span from his mom.

"I-I-I di-did-didn't d-do it-tt!" Toji tried desperately to shout at Asuka.

Those freaking stun guns ought to be illegalized!!

"First of all, I know you're lying because of the camera and video camera lying beside you."

Shit!!!!!

"Second of all, I don't really care if you did it or not. I need something to vent my anger on and that something is YOU." Asuka said the last part with extra emphasis.

"P-p-please…"

"Awww… begging is so cute… That really looks like it hurts Toji." Sarcastic again.

As a crowd gathered around the two of them Asuka decided to prove a point.

Don't fuck with a red head!!!

Asuka took the stunner and lowered it back down to Toji's arm. All Toji could do was pray that it didn't last much longer.

Take me now God, I'm as ready as I'll ever be!

The torture proceeded on and Toji's prayers went unanswered. Even after the sweet mask of unconsciousness slipped over Toji's eyes he was still being electrocuted.

Asuka watched as Toji's legs and arms flailed about aimlessly. She knew he had passed out a couple of minutes ago but the chance that he could still subconsciously feel the sting of justice kept her going.

This form of vengeance is getting old, I mean without the screaming it's just not as fun! She thought atop her perch, which happened to be Toji's lifeless form.

"Unofficial use of NERV equipment is prohibited pilot Soryu." Came a monotone voice from somewhere in the crowd.

AHH! She might help the situation a little!

Asuka's mind raced to try and find a way to incorporate the blue haired girl into the boy's scheme. Alas even the "snapped" mind of the second child knew that she didn't have the will to pull something like this off.

I still don't like ya, so don't take offense to this.

Asuka jumped off of Toji's body and headed for Rei.

"Well I'll just give it to the wonder girl and she can take it back to NERV for me."

As she approached Rei, who had her hand out to receive the stunner, she feigned tripping. She stumbled right into Rei, pressing the stunner against the girl's arm and depressed the button. The shock that resulted sent the blue haired beauty right to the asphalt with a dull thud.

"Oh my! Well accidents happen now don't they?" Asuka said while looking snidely down at the other girl.

"Yes they do."

Asuka blinked a couple of times trying to figure out if that was a threat or just an admission that accidents do happen. She figured on the latter because of Rei's stoic nature. Once certain she could safely leave without being attacked she threw the stunner down at Rei's sprawled out form.

"Whatever." She then made her way back to her residence and to her roommate.

Shinji must die.

Rei made it to her feet thinking almost the same thing.

The second child will pay for her "accident".

Rei tuned to look at a mirror placed on the side of one of the school buildings. It seems that the electrical charge from the stunner had given her a quite stunning blue afro.

She will pay dearly indeed.

Shinji sat on the couch with pen pen watching reruns of Cowboy Bebop, all semblance of awareness to the outside world now gone.

"You know pen pen if her shorts were only this much higher" he used his thumb and the rest of his glued together fingers to illustrate to the penguin the amount that needed to be taken away.

"the show would be rated very differently… and I'd be a much happier fellow."

The penguin could only squawk in agreement to the statement as his small avian mind was bombarded with enticing visual images.

As soon as Shinji heard the squawk from the bird, a brief flash of white cloth whipped around the side of his neck to a hand waiting on the other side. Before he could realize he was being attacked his windpipe was already being constricted.

SHITT!!!!

Shinji stood up to try and jerk the cloth out of Asuka's hands with momentum. To Asuka's credit it seemed as though she had thought out every plausible scenario of the proceeding events and she followed suite with Shinji. She leapt onto the boy's back and wrapped her slender legs around his waste and leaned back as hard as she could.

The penguin jumped off the couch and headed to the provider of alcohol's room.

I knew she was a little Koo-Koo but this is freaking insane!! I gotta save the kid too, he's the only one that understands me.

"DIE YOU YARO!!" Asuka yelled into Shinji's ear.

I'm seriously fucked! She's actually gonna strangle me to death.

Asuka rode Shinji like a pro bull rider as he stumbled around the room trying to sling the redhead off of him. It almost seemed like fate had it in for him, he had one hand glued to the side of his head and the other trying to clumsily rip the cloth from around his throat. Finally, after realizing there was no way he would succeed at ridding himself of the cloth in his current condition, he decided banging her against the wall might do the trick, so he backed up against the same wall as the T.V. and began to pound her into the wall. Shinji tried desperately, already feeling delirious from the lack of oxygen, to find a solution to the current predicament he was in. He could feel himself slipping from consciousness, his last pound against the wall had obviously not affected the girl in the least. With the threat of imminent death he tried his last option.

I'll never hear the end of it but it's a damn sight better than being strangled to death.

He reached his arm behind the girl and brought his hand under her school uniforms skirt to the voluptuous curves of her buttocks and gave it a quick pinch.

This brought the second child's insane thought process to a screeching halt as the only thing running through her mind now was.

HE PINCHED MY ASS!! WHY WOULD HE PINCH MY ASS!! DOES HE LIKE ME?!?! AS IF!!

Her body went rigid from surprise directly after the pinch causing Asuka to lose her leverage and sending her to the floor with a loud thump. As the cloth was released from its hold on Shinji's neck he fell to his knee's gasping for much needed oxygen. He turned slightly to make sure the attack was over only to see Asuka scurrying into a corner of the room, eyes wide from a misunderstood action. After the assurance of safety he fell unceremoniously sprawled out on his back never losing eye contact with the clearly insane girl.

The girl in question still had the same thought running through her head as if it was a broken record.

Shinji's thoughts on the other hand had a lesser degree of complexity to them.

I'M ALIVE!!! PRAISE GOD IN HEAVEN I'M ALIVE!!!

After what seemed like a lifetime of one pilot eyeing the other and the recently strangled pilot regaining an appropriate amount of oxygen, Asuka gained the courage to speak up.

"Why'd you pinch my ass?!" Asuka asked or demanded, either way she was too disturbed to add her usual "Baka" when referring to her fellow pilot.

What kind of dumb ass question is that?!

"To get the grim reaper herself off of my back, you were strangling me for God's sake!" Shinji shouted back.

He doesn't like me.

"That doesn't mean you should pinch my ass now does it you hentai baka pervert!!" She yelled back while jumping to her feet. Shinji followed suite.

"Well excuse me for breathing, literally!!!"

This is one crazy bitch!!

"I was TRYING to excuse you from breathing you yaro!!! You took pictures of me naked!!!"

"So when exactly does that put homicide up for debate!!!" Shinji shot back.

"The punishment should match the crime!!!"

Shinji looked stunned.

That's not even remotely logical?!?

"So what you're saying is that because you got a couple of pictures take…."

Shinji was taken aback as he saw the instrument of his would be demise.

"A SOCK, YOU TRIED TO STRANGLE ME WITH A FREAKIN SOCK!!!"

As Asuka formulated a witty reply Shinji noticed where the sock came from.

"THE SOCK OFF OF YOUR FOOT!!!!!!"

"YOU COULDN'T FIND A RAG OR ROPE OR A WIRE!!! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SOLDIER ARE YOU!!!!"

"I-It was all I could think of!!" Asuka tried to be forceful with her response, but she was a little confused herself.

Why DID I use my sock?

"I might be a yaro but I deserve a better death than one by a sock." Shinji started toning his voice down a little.

"NO WAY!! MY SOCKS ARE TOO GOOD FOR YOU!!! Asuka yelled regaining her fiery spirit.

Misato and the penguin to her side had gone unseen by the pilots ever since Shinji ventured underneath Asuka's skirt.

This is funny as hell!

"Okay guys let's all calm down." Misato interjected in the argument.

Both children abruptly stopped arguing turning toward Misato.

She thought she made out most of the ranting and raving directed in her direction, something about Shinji getting strangled with a sock and Asuka posing for a full frontal.

The ranting lasted about a minute before Misato took action.

Damn it, these are the people saving everyone else's ass and their acting like spoiled brats! I'll make'em sync yet!!

With that self declaration she reached out and grabbed a hold of the arm still glued to Shinji's head and yanked with all her might straight down.

The look on Shinji's face could only be described as impossibly contorted as he glared down at the mass of flesh and hair which used to be attached to the side of his head.

Asuka and Misato each giggled at the boy's face until he let out an eardrum bursting scream.

Both of the women tried to cover their ears in time but damage was still done to their auditory canal's shown in proof by the loud ringing left in their ears.

Misato recovered first and slapped a pair of handcuffs on Shinji's hair covered right hand and then over the dazed Asuka's left hand.

Both teens stared dumbly at the cuffs that temporarily linked the two until they felt metal surround their legs. The penguin scampered away from the two, his pre-assigned mission now complete.

"You two will take over each others daily actions from here on in."

"The only activities you are excused from the other carrying out are toilet and bath related. You will not leave this apartment or have any communication whatsoever with the outside world. I will be monitoring your activities from the adjacent apartment and will be back in one full day to resume sync-pad training."

Misato then smiled cheerfully at the two.

"C'ya"

"What guarantee do I have that this baka pervert won't look at me while I bathe?!" Asuka yelled after her retreating guardian while pointing her hand at the previously mentioned boy, resulting in Shinji arm swinging around with hers and slapping him in the face.

"Trust. You trust him and he trust's you."

"THAT'S STUPID!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST THIS PERVERT?!!" She yelled in frustration at the closed door.

"HUMPHH"

Shinji smiled broadly at his companion.

"I've got an idea."

She turned to the boy angrily. "WHAT!!!!"

"Let's take a bath!" Shinji said brightly.

She didn't even scowl at the remark, she simply reached down and grabbed a hold, none to lightly, of his most private of privates.

"I've got a better idea, let's find those pictures before I turn you into a soprano." She whispered into his ear while she squeezed slightly harder.

All he could do was nod and think.

Too Late!

A/N: So that's it, appreciate the reviews, of course this one wasn't as funny as the last ones but inspiration was in low supply this week. Oh yeah! For those of you who think I'm needlessly bashing Rei, don't worry she'll get her revenge in as well.

Till next time.