Patlabor Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Super Giant Robot Carnival ❯ Respect for Kuno? ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Super Giant Robot Carnival

By Lord Raa

Chapter 7


Ranma was sitting at the Ucchan's counter, talking with his nephew about his homework, when he noticed a man touch up one of the waitresses.

Shaking his head in disgust, he called the waitress over when she had a free minute.

"Do you know that man over there?" he gestured to the groper. "I mean is he a friend or something?"

"No, I don't know him. Why?"

"I saw how he touched you. Do you want me to talk with him about his behaviour?"

"You'd do that? For me?"

"I'd do that for anybody I saw being molested. I'll have a word with him."

Ranma stood up and sauntered over to the slightly drunken salary-man.

The waitress stood there with hearts filling her eyes.

Hiro merely rolled his, muttering something about a "hero complex."

"Excuse me, sir, this establishment has rules about the treatment of the staff."

"What do you care?"

"Now sir, I realise that you've had a few drinks this evening, so I am giving you the chance to save face. Pay your bill and go home, walk of the booze."

"What, you sayin' I can't handle my booze!?!" the man was raising his voice.

"That's not it at all sir. You see that waitress over there? You know, the one whose bottom you pinched? Well, she's my friend and I don't like seeing my friends upset."

The salary-man stood up to glare at Ranma's face. "That's it. Outside now!"

"Sir, that is a bad idea."

"For you maybe, I know karate!" The man moved into a sloppy stance.

"I don't doubt that for a second, sir. It's just that," Ranma pulled out his police badge, "I think you should reconsider this course of action. Assaulting a police officer would reflect badly on your company."

But Ranma's words could not disuade the salary-man from his chosen course of action. He lunged at Ranma.

Ranma merely looked bored as he blocked and dodged his attacker. When he decided to counterattack, he only pulled out the man's wallet and told Hiro to write his address down.

Noting Hiro's blank look, Ranma replied "force majeure. Time to end this."

Ranma stopped playing with his target and pinned him to the floor in a blur of limbs.

"Now that I have your undivided attention, will you listen to me? I have plans for this evening, so I don't want to deal with the paperwork surrounding your arrest for assault. That is the only reason for you still being able to walk off your booze. Do it now," Ranma ordered.

"Y-yes sir."

The salary-man was let up and quickly pulled a number of bills out, far more then his bill actually came to. He grabbed his coat and ran off without looking back once.

Ukyo came out onto the restaurant floor with a puzzled look on her face, "what happened here, Ranchan?"

"Just doing the duty of every police officer, protecting the innocent. Why?"

"I thought I heard a scuffle, that's all." She turned to her son, "what really happened, Hiro-chan?"

"Uncle Ranma was just dealing with a pervert, that's all. What did you mean by 'force majeure'?"

"Literally, it means an unstopable or superior force. But sometimes it used to describe a an unexpected or uncontrollable event."

Hiro continued to have a blank look.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Like in a situation when we have to stop a rampaging Labor?"

"So you meant that you might of destroyed his home by 'accident'?" Hiro asked his uncle.

Ranma nodded when someone entered the restaurant.

"Hey Captain!" Ken called out.

"Hi Uraki, you're right on time," Ranma replied.

"Yeah, some guy nearly ran into me on the way here. Something had him spooked."

Ranma chuckled, "I had something to do with that. Defending the honour of my friends and all."

"F-friends?" the waitress asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, any friend of Ucchan's is a friend of mine. Unless you've decided that you hate me."

"N-no, but we only met today."

"I fail to see your so called point."

Ken chuckled, "I don't think that's the problem here, Captain." Moving in to whisper to Ranma, "I think you just acquired a new admirer."

"Not another one, " Ranma cursed.


"Nothing. That's my sister Ucchan, her son, Hiro. The waitress is Aoi, is it?"

"Yes, it is." The waitress was still a little dazed.

"Right everybody, this is Ken Uraki. He's command car driver for Mei Hayase, our second pilot."

"Hi everyone." Uraki bowed.

"Captain," Megumi greeted from the doorway.

Ranma smiled, he was about to say something when the rest of Second Section arrived.

"Ah, I'm glad that you're all here. First things first, I want introduce everybody.
Ukyo and Hiro, this is Special Vehicles Second section. Step forward as I call you name, please. Ken Uraki. Mei Hayase. Toshiro Tomino Maaya Yamamoto. Kou Tezuka. Kosue Miura.

Megumi Kawamitsu, this is my sister Ukyo and her son Hiro."

"Pleased to meet you all," Ucchan and Hiro bowed to the guests.

"It's an honour to meet the family of the famous Captain Yotsuga," Megumi spoke with awe in her voice.

"Now, if we are all ready to be seated," Ukyo gestured to the reserved table. "Where do you think you're going, Hiro? Is your homework done?"

"But mom," Hiro whined, "it's almost done."

"Almost doesn't get the job done, son." Ukyo spoke in a sagely tone.

"It's my fault, Ucchan. I asked him do do something for me, and it interrupted his work." Ranma covered for his nephew.

"Well, I don't know..." Ucchan teased.


"Alright, but no TV tomorrow."

"Before you complain, Hiro, I won't be able to watch TV for at least a week. Maybe even two." Ranma exaggerated his statement of the fact as if it was some major hardship.

"And he's been good this week," Megumi playfully added. She looked at Ranma, "what?"

Ranma shook his head, "let's eat. Now what is it that you all wanted to know?"

A barrage of questions came from all sides, including Ucchan and Hiro.

"Right, I only got about a third of those. You don't expect me to reveal all of my secrects do you?"

The table went quiet for a moment, then Ken asked "How do you know so much about where we're going in China?"

"I had been invited to a seminar on labor crime in China."

"Ranchan, we know that there's more to this," Ukyo insisted.

Ranma glared at his adopted sister. "Of course there is, Ukyo."

Ukyo flinched, Ranma only called her that when he was upset.

"I'm just trying to word it so they," he gestured to Second Section, "don't do something rash when we're there. We, the delagation from Japan, were flying back home when the plane encountered a problem and was forcerd to make an emergency landing. Unfortunately most of the passengers were unable to get off the plane before the fuel tanks exploded. One of the other survivors mentioned that there was a small village nearby and suggested that we stayed there for the time being. We left a message telling the recovery team where we headed and left a trail for them.

"Well when we reached the nearest settlement, we requested and recieved shelter inside the Amazon village. As I walked around with a guide, Captain Nagumo talked with one of the Elders."

"Captain Nagumo? But we thought that you were in Second Section," Ken pointed out.

"I was. I was also loaned to First Section on a semi-regular basis. Before you ask, it was because of some quirk with the budget that neither section could afford to keep me on as permanent pilot or command back up or carrier driver. So I bounced around as a jack of all trades, doing what they asked. Captains Goto and Nagumo came to the arrangement that I would be seconded as when I was needed, as they both felt that I was too good to let go completely. Goto himself that that I was just what Second Section needed."

Ucchan took up the next part, "when Ranchan first joined the police labor division, Second Section had a bad reputation. All sorts claims of incompetence, recklessness, but when he started to pilot his labor, there was less damage to private and public property. Plus he was easy on the eye, so the PR department thought he was great."

"He still is and they still do," Megumi added. "They're the ones that wanted the book to be written," she explained. "Sorry, Captain, please continue."

"I was walking around the village with my guide, when I noticed certain looks from the local women. I recognised some of those looks from whenever I went out with my fiancee; jealousy, envy and lust. I asked my guide to tell them that I had a fiancee and that while I was flattered, that I wasn't interested.

"That held them off for the time being, however someone overheard me talking with one of the elders and the Captain..."


The Amazon village.

Ranma, Shinobu and Cologne were sitting at a table in the afternoon sunshine.

"I can really see the appeal of this lifestyle, elder. It makes a nice change from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo."

"So then, young man, are you tempted to stay here? You seem to have caught the eye of a number of our unmarried warriors."

Ranma blushed, "I'm not available at the moment, elder. I have a fiancee that I love very much. Were I unattached and my job not so important to me, then yes, I would be."

"That's a shame, what is your job? If you don't mind me asking," Cologne subtly questioned the pigtailed policeman.

"I'm a labor pilot. The captain and I work for the police."

"Yes, we try to prevent labor crime by investigating plots. But mainly we just stop rogue labors from destroying Tokyo," Nagumo informed their host. "We were returning from an event in Beijing when our plane made that emergency landing."

"Yes, we had heard that the flight was bound for Tokyo."

In the bushes, a small figure thought to herself, 'if he was to stop caring about these "labors" and his fiancee, then we can convince him to stay and marry my daughter.'

"Elder, I mean this with the upmost respect for your training methods, but, observing some of the warriors practicing," Ranma started gesturing to the warriors sparring in easy viewing distance of him, "I noticed that one has some holes in her defence. "

"And," Cologne was intrigued by Ranma's analysis of the sparring, "just how many do you count?"

"Well, she seems to be over confident. Don't get me wrong, she is the best one there so her confidence is valid, but she has to be careful that it doesn't turn into arrogance."

"How will that view help my great-granddaughter?" Cologne asked, having a vague idea of her own.

"If you want her to be the best, she needs to spar with some more varied opponents. Otherwise when someone with a more unorthodox style shows up, she could be hurt. I see at least two, not counting the most obvious ones."

"Why not those, Yotsuga?" Nagumo asked, martial arts not being her forté.

"They could be decoys, some branchs of the Art use misdirection and redirection to overcome stronger opponents. I couldn't tell you for sure though, I have yet to see some of the more advanced techniques, as you tend not to use those in a sparring match."

Cologne raised a wrinkled eyebrow, 'well that's a mature analysis from him. I can see why he's respected by his captain.' she thought. "Care to give that theory a go, young man?"

"Ah, no, elder. I just use martial arts to keep myself fit. I stopped studying it when I was a child. I no longer have the drive to be a martial artist."


"My father tried to teach me the Neko-ken."

"What!?!" Cologne was shocked.

"What's that?" Nagumo asked.

"Something that caused the break up of my family." Ranma stated sadly.

Cologne turned to captain Nagumo, "I''ll tell you later."

Captain Nagumo just nodded.

Suddenly , Ranma's danger sense flared. "Duck!" (1)

He jumped at Nagumo, knocking her to the floor as a number of half a dozen spears came hurtling towards them.

Cologne stood up, looking for the culprit. Her eyes narrowed. "Mousse."

"Who's that, elder?" Ranma asked, helping his current captain up.

"Someone who is obssessed with Shampoo, my great-granddaughter.< Mousse, why have you attacked my two guests?>" She asked the assailant in Chinese

"<I'm sorry, I thought he was harrassing Shampoo.>" Mousse repiled.

Nagumo looked at herself then Shampoo, who was running up towards them, then back at herself. She turned to the elder, "Is there a problem with this man?"

"Only he nearly blind. Mousse too, too stupid," Shampoo answered, thankful for her Japanese lessons. "I am Shampoo."

"Whilst I am flattered to be mistaken for such a beautiful young woman, I don't like being attacked." Nagumo spoke in an errily calm tone.

Ranma glared at the blind boy. "Are you going to apologise to the captain?"

Cologne looked at Ranma, 'he certainly likes to help and protect people. But he's not a true warrior or healer.' "<Mousse, we are waiting for an apology.>"

Mousse bowed to Nagumo, "I am sorry."

Nagumo turned to Cologne, "Can you tell him that I accept his apology, but I don't want to have to deal with any more attacks on myself or my subordinate, Ranma."

Shampoo looked at Cologne, "<No challenging him then?>"

"<No. He is already betrothed, chasing after him would dishonour both him and yourself. But I would like you to befriend him. As an ally, he might prove useful. He spotted several holes in your defence earlier.>"

Shampoo was both pleased and upset with that statement. Pleased because it proved that she had caught the eye of the handsome outsider, but upset as he was declared off limits by her great-grandmother.


"Why would they want to challenge you?"

"Well Megumi, every tribe requires an influx of new blood over time and one way to get it is to marry strong fighters. Defeating an Amazon warrior would prove that you are a strong fighter, thus somewhat desirable - they have to give you the 'Kiss of Marriage'. Oh, and apparently if you defeat a warrior of the same sex, then they have to give you the 'Kiss of Death' - they promise to track you down to the ends of the earth to kill you. That is why I don't want any of you lot picking fights there."


Ranma smiled. "But to tell you the truth, I think that the 'Kiss of Death' is just to keep up appearences. It doesn't seem to be terribly practical, unlike the marriage laws. But please, don't test that theory, I have enough paperwork to do as it is without having to explain to the chief why any of you might not be coming back."

This brought forth a round of chuckles form the table.

"Hang a minute Captain, what else happened to you in China?" Maaya picked up on the vibe that Ranma came back a changed man.

Ranma took a deep breath as he battled the bad memories. "I couldn't pilot labors after I returned. I don't know what was done to me, but I just couldn't pilot them for more than a few minutes without feeling sick. Coupled with the break up of my engagement, I was in a bad way for some time afterwards."

"Engagement?" Ken asked. "You never mentioned that before?"

"That's because it hurt for a long time after. I don't want to talk about that right now. Next question?"

"Why didn't you introduce us to Ukyo earlier?" came from the direction of Tomino.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I try to keep my embarrassing stories in the family thank you very much."

Ukyo and Hiro chuckled evilly.

Mei turned to Ukyo, "The Captain seems to attract a number of female admirers, have any men tried to chat him up?"

Ukyo smirked, "Oh yes. At my wedding my mother saw some guy trying to seduce Ranchan and practically chased him around with that sword of hers. She was shriking something about corrupting the manliness of her son. One of my husband's friends said it was called 'Love Sim Syndrome' or LSS."

"What's that?" Mei asked.

"Apparently it's a rare affliction. He was diagnosed by a university professor of admittidly dubious morallity."

"Not professor Hasegawa," Hiro groaned. (2)

"Who's that Hiro?" Kou sipped at his tea.

"Someone who is under the impression that 'there are no boundaries as far as H is concerned'. In other words a pervert." Hiro looked down, ashamed of his late father's friend.

"Oh, when does this LSS thing where off? Assuming it does, that is." Megumi was intrigued.

Ukyo smiled at that. "Well, ok, I'll tell you. One, you find your soulmate. Two, you ride out the storm until you are too old to attract you ladies."

"How old are you Captain?" Ken asked innocently.

"36. Why?"

Mei blushed as she thought aloud, "You've got some way to go yet, Captain."

Ranma groaned. "What was the third option Ucchan? I seem to remember it being highly embarrassing. And as such I thought we might as well get it over with now."

"I believe the professor said something about 'being serviced regularly by a harem of hot chicks or cute girls'," Hiro was unimpressed at that idea.

Ken managed to get out: "T-that's the silliest thing I've ever heard. I can't ever imagine the Captain doing anything of the sort."

"What makes you say that Ken?" Maaya looked at the other command car driver.

"Just before I got here, the Captain saw off a pervert that molested a waitress."

The rest of Second Section looked at Ranma.

"What? Do I have food on my face?"

"N-no, but that's one of the things that attracts us women to you Captain," Megumi confessed. A noticable blush crossing her face.

"Right, note to self: stop being so heroic. Excuse me, please." Ranma stood to use the facilities.

When the captain was out of hearing distance, Mei turned to Ucchan. "So what happened with his fiancée?"

Ukyo sighed. "She broke up with him at the insistance of her father."

Maaya looked at Ucchan. "Why?"

"Ranchan's 'father'," Ukyo ground out with obvious distaste.

Megumi frowned.

Ranma returned at either the right or wrong time, depending on your point of view. Looking at the expressions on Ucchan's and Megumi's faces he correctly guessed the topic of conversation.

"Why should I tell you the story of my failed engagement?" Now properly seated, Yotsuga asked the table.


"Do you all promise not to try and fix me up with somebody for the next six months?"

The table nodded.

"Promise not to go on some kind of crazy quest to avenge me or my broken heart?"

More nods, accompanied with puzzles looks.

"Good. I went to see my fiancée as soon as I could. I knocked on the door when she answered it..."


"Hello Kasumi. How are you?"

"Ranma, this is a surprise. I - We thought you were dead," Kasumi became nervous.

"Is something the matter?" Ranma asked, anxiety filling his features.

"I think you'd better come in, Ranma."

Ranma started to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"So this is the young man who went to China, eh?" Dr Tofu Ono appraised Ranma. Normally, he and Ranma would probably be friends, but this was a battle for the hand of the fair Kasumi Tendo.

"Yes. I'm her fiancé, Ranma Yotsuga of the Special Vehicles, Second Section. And may I ask, who are you?"

"Mr Yotsuga, you are very much mistaken," Soun Tendo walk in from the porch, "_this_ man is the fiancé of my eldest daughter. His name is Dr Tofu Ono."

"Excuse me, could you explain what you mean by that?"

"I have decided to break off your engagement to my daughter."

"But, why? I thought you approved of our betrothal. You gave me your blessing just three weeks ago," Ranma thought he caught sight of a heavy-set man in a dirty gi.

"That was before I found out about some of your activities, young man."

"What? I'm a policeman - what do you mean?" Ranma's mind was running through all of his life and coming up blank.

"Ranma, it's just that well, your plane crashed and we thought you were dead. At that time we found out about another fiancée." Kasumi's normally cheerful voice became stern as she thought about Ranma's alleged infidelity.

"What other fiancée? You knew that I worked somewhat unsociable hours when I started to date you, Kasumi. When would I have time to find another fiancée?" Ranma asked, his voice filled with disbelief. "Why would I cheat on you?"

"She came looking for you just as the news of your plane accident broke." Soun took a drag from his cigerette.

"Did she say how we got engaged? How did she come to the conclusion that I lived here?"

"She didn't say."

"So aside from the fiancée that I didn't know about until just now, why am I no longer engaged to Kasumi?"

"Your treatment of your father," Soun said angrily.

Ranma started to get a further sinking feeling. "Mr Tendo, I have not seen my father for seven years. Before that it was nearly eight. Please could you explain how I have badly treated a man that I've seen, what, ONCE in ten years?"

"Your disrespectful attitude for a start. Not to mention you sordid activities before you were a policeman." Soun's tone became more dramatic, "your abandoning of your family style of martial arts: the desecration of the sacred pledge to unit the schools of Anything Goes."

Ranma was forced to take a few breaths to calm himself down. "Mr Tendo, I have always treated you and your family with respect and kindness. My lack of respect for my father is because of my own reasons. Reasons which I think he has neglected to tell you. Why, Kasumi, why?"

"Ranma, I-I'm sorry. It just wouldn't work out between us. You never mentioned your father, so I believed he was dead. When he arrived here, I was taken aback by the things he said."

"So then you believe my father over me?"

The Tendos and Tofu nodded.

Ranma sighed. "Then you are right, Kasumi. May I at least have the engagement ring back?"

"I-I don't have it any more," Kasumi answered in a quiet voice.

"Where is it?" Ranma asked in an exasperated manner.

"I don't like your tone, young man. I think you should leave. Now!" The Doctor's tone became most icy.

Ranma looked at Kasumi's new fiancé. "Fine." He pointed at Kasumi and Soun. "I just want you to know that I thought better of both of you. I'll see myself out. Goodbye."


"What happened to that ring, Captain?" Mei asked around a few bites of okonomiyaki.

"We never did recover it. We think that Genma made a deal with Dr Ono. The 'Good Doctor' got Kasumi, the fat fool got some booze money. I suspect that the ring was stolen and pawned off," Ranma lamented.

"Why would he do that?" Hiro asked.

"Well, he and Mr Tendo were training partners under the same master, Hiro," Ranma answered. "They made a drunken pledge to unite the two schools of Anything Goes. But that just meant that they would live off the profits from a dojo run by their offspring. Genma showed up after I had left for China telling the Tendos about his wayward and disrespectful son that abandoned him, _mysteriously_ forgetting a few little details about the arranged marriage. But on to the next topic." Ranma's tone of voice told all listening to heed his advice.

The impromptu inquisition found themselves unwilling to ask any more probing questions.

"All out of questions, eh?" Ranma cast his gaze around at the table. He blinked. "Whoa. Unless my eyes decieve me, that's Tatewaki Kuno, the captain of the kendo club at Furinken."

The tall man turned to the table and recognition flashed across his face. "Yotsuga, it has indeed been a while. How are you keeping?"

"I'm well. How's Kodachi? Last I heard she was going to into local politics."

Kuno smiled, "you are well informed. She is on the Tokyo transport council. Now which of these young ladies has fallen under your most vile spell?"

Ranma, Ukyo and Tatewaki all looked at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"Heh, you've still got it, Tatewaki. I look forward to seeing your next work," Ukyo giggled.

Second Section looked at the older people around the table blankly.

Ranma decided not to fill them in. "You had to be at Furinken. Well I'll let you get on, Tatewaki. Take care and say hello to Kodachi if you see her."

"Will do, Ranma. Ukyo." Kuno nodded and left the restaurant.

"You didn't tell me Kuno came here, Ucchan."

"You didn't ask, Ranchan. Now it's getting late and you've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow."

"Yes mom," Ranma mocked, earning a glare from his sister and a chuckle from his nephew. He wisely shut up when Ucchan looked his way.


To be continued.

(1) Just because he's no longer a martial artist, it doesn't mean that he lost the ability detect danger.

(2) A Tsunami Channel reference. Sorry about that, but I just could not resist that. Idid mention that I was inspired by ideas from various sources. Tsunami Channel and the Professor are the intellectual property of Akira Hasegawa and can be found at

(The 'Love Sim Syndrome' might be as well, but don't quote me on that. What do I know about such things?)

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