Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Big Break-Up ❯ Chapter 5

This story contains scenes of explicit sex, naughty words, and other horrible, offensive things.  If you are underage in your house, village, town, city, community, state, province, country, or continent: READ NO FURTHER!  If that type of thing offends your tender sensibilities, or you are stupid: READ NO FURTHER!  All characters are the copyright of their respective creators and/or owners; no copyright infringement is intended by this story.  Any resemblance to people, places, or situations alive, dead, or otherwise is purely coincidental.

 

The Big Break-Up

Chapter 5

 

A Few Hours Later

 

Having finally regained consciousness after being knocked out by a stray explosion and seeing that most of the debris from the fight had already been cleaned up, Ryouga decided to take this chance to see exactly what he needed to do to be free of the pig. Not wanting his beloved Akane to discover that he had a message device and thus begin to question why he needed one, he figured the best place to read it in safety would be the bathroom. Of course, in addition to being a relatively safe place to read his instructions, it would also allow him to relieve the pressure that had been building up after being forced to remain in the dojo without moving the entire night and most of the next day, waiting for his rival, Ranma. Having spent quite a bit of time in the Tendo house in both his pig and human forms, Ryouga knew it would be an easy task to find the bathroom, even for someone as directionally-challenged as he was.

 

Yeah, right. Sure it would be.

 

Hmm, Ryouga thought as he turned the corner into the bathroom. I don't remember the Tendos having air conditioning. He shivered at a sudden sharp blast of cold air. And they sure do have it on high! Don't they realize how expensive it is, not to mention how bad it is for the environment? Oh well, he gave a mental shrug and sat down on a convenient rock after brushing off the snow covering it. Now let's see what I have to do to get rid of the pig forever!! Ryouga carefully pulled out the object Ranma had slipped him from where he had tucked it away in his shirt and was silent as it opened for him. The lost boy was so intent on the object that he didn't even notice the bear with two cubs that ambled by in front of him. Instead he only had eyes for what the screen was printing out right before his eyes:

 

`RYOUGA HIBIKI: YOU MUST TELL AKANE TENDO THAT YOU AND P-CHAN ARE TRULY THE SAME AND PROVE IT TO HER IN ORDER TO CONVINCE HER THAT YOU ARE TELLING THE TRUTH. WHEN THIS IS DONE, WE WILL CURE YOU OF YOUR CURSE.'

 

Ryouga read the instructions once. Then a second time. Then a third. A fourth. A fifth. Finally, he reacted in the only way he could:

 

“DAMN YOU, RANMA!!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!”

 

“Chief?”

 

“Yeah, what is it?” Dr. Alice Dunlop looked up from her newspaper to where her subordinate was crouched over the computer that monitored the instruments set up all over New Zealand's Mount Cook.

 

“We just got a major avalanche in sector 3.”

 

Dr. Dunlop frowned at that and walked over to look at the readings only to see that he was right. “That's strange. There weren't any danger areas on that slope as far as I can remember.”

 

“Yeah, it must have been a major sound or explosion or something.”

 

“Well, there's no test ranges in that area. Hmm, I'll alert the army just in case. It's probably nothing, but you never know…”

 

Meanwhile, Back in Tokyo

 

Having finished with the clean up Ukyou, Shampoo, Mousse and Cologne all made their way down the sidewalks toward their homes, each deep in thought. Ukyou was the first one to speak up.

 

“I don't like that girl's attitude,” she growled.

 

“Shampoo agree,” The Amazon seconded. “She seem too too close, Shampoo think.”

 

“Ya got that right, honey. She'd better keep her hands off my Ran-chan or I'll…”

 

“What you mean, your Ranma?! Ranma is Shampoo husband!!”

 

“Like hell he is!!!”

 

“Girls!!” Cologne snapped, hopping in between the two teenagers as they prepared for combat. “Calm down!! This isn't the time or place!” Ukyou and Shampoo both sniffed angrily but put their weapons away even as they continued to glare at one another. Cologne ignored their tension, however as she continued speaking. “You two can fight over the son-in-law anytime, but you need to remember that this Ranko has all of the son-in-law's talent and skills. She is no one to take lightly, especially as she seems to be a bit more ruthless than the son-in-law.”

 

The truth in that observation kept the two girls quiet for the remainder of their walks home. Saying a short goodbye to Ukyou as they stopped at the Cat Café, the three Chinese entered the restaurant, Shampoo and Mousse quickly going up to their rooms, eager to see what they needed to do to be free of their curses.

 

At the Same Time

 

Genma softly slid the door to the room he shared with Ranma shut, but the sounds in the living room below him were still quite clear. Nodoka seemed very happy with the addition of Ranko to the family and the conversations taking place amongst everyone on the first floor appeared to be basically cheerful and excited, but right now Genma just had to see…He pulled out the message device and held his breath as the cover flipped open to show…

 

GENMA SAOTOME: YOU WILL PERSONALLY ADMIT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND FAULT IN ALL OF THE ENGAGEMENTS AND OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES YOU HAVE PLEDGED YOUR SON, RANMA SAOTOME, TO. IN ADDITION TO APPOLOGIZING FOR YOUR ERRORS YOU WILL MAKE FULL AND COMPLETE RESTITUTION TO THOSE CONCERNED. HAVING DONE THIS, WE WILL REMOVE YOUR CURSE.

 

Genma blinked then quickly pressed the `Decline' button. As the object disintegrated in his hands he carefully shifted them so that the powder would fall on Ranma's things and thought; After all, being a panda isn't all that bad! That done, he left the room and went down to rejoin the two families below.

 

Back at the Cat Café

 

Mousse adjusted his thick, coke bottle-like glasses in order to see his instructions more clearly:

 

MOUSSE: YOU WILL RETURN TO CHINA AND STAY THERE CONTINUOUSLY FOR ONE COMPLETE EARTH YEAR: 365.2425 DAYS (APPROXIMATELY). HAVING DONE THIS, WE WILL REMOVE YOUR CURSED SIDE.

 

Slowly he pressed the cover closed without having made a selection and slid off his glasses, his brow furrowed in thought. What to do? What to do? He ran over the possibilities internally, If I go back to China, I can finally be free of the duck! And of course, when I'm free of my curse, I will be able to totally defeat and crush that philandering Ranma! And, undoubtedly, when I do beat Ranma, Shampoo will realize that she really does love me as much as I love her! YES!!! Then he sighed, On the other hand, if I leave Shampoo here alone, unprotected, who knows what kind of terrible things that pervert Ranma will commit to my poor love?! Shampoo needs my protection even if she doesn't know it!! What to do? What to do?!

 

Mousse sighed again and got to his feet and made his way towards the door. There was a park nearby that he liked to walk around in when he needed to think and right now he was definitely in deep need of some-CRACK! “UUHHNN!!!”

 

So intent had the Chinese teen been on his thoughts, as well as being nearly totally blind without his glasses, that he had walked directly into the door frame. And since he had hit it headfirst with a pretty good head of steam behind him he managed to knock himself completely unconscious so that he ended up in disorderly heap on the floor. It was a position he would still be in when Cologne stopped by his room in an hour to tell him to help with the dinner crowd downstairs.

 

A Few Rooms Away

 

CRACK! “UUHHNN!!!”

 

Stupid Mousse! Shampoo thought a bit distractedly as she looked at the message device in her hand a final time before she closed it with a sharp `Click!' Being used to the sounds of the blind boy bumping into things in his own room, Shampoo gave him no more thought, especially as she had more than enough on her mind at the moment. What could this mean? If Great Grandmother could do this, why didn't she do it before? The teenager paced back and forth a few times, but patience was definitely not one of her virtues.

 

Ahyaa! If I want to know what's going on, I might as well ask! Shampoo walked out of her room, her steps forceful and full of purpose as she made her way toward the Elder of her village. And Great Grandmother had better have a good explanation for this!

 

At the Tendo Household

 

Kasumi was just setting out cups of tea for everyone as Genma entered the living room, the pace of conversation starting to slow after the flood of questions and comments that had commenced when they had all come in from the dojo. Taking a sip of tea and nodding her approval to the eldest Tendo daughter, Nodoka turned her happy gaze on her new, gorgeous daughter.

 

“Ranko dear?” Ranko looked at her mother, her mouth full of the snacks that Kasumi had brought in to go with the tea. “I do hope you'll stay with me at my house. It's been so long since I've had company, I'd really like to have you with me!”

 

Ranko desperately swallowed her mouthful of food and gulped down some tea to clear her throat before replying, “Sorry, Ma. I'd like to and all, but like I said before; Ranma and I have to stick close together for the next few months or the guys who helped us out said there might be some kinda complications or somethin'.”

 

Nodoka's face fell slightly at this and observed, “I hate to impose on the poor Tendos with yet another person!” Soun and Kasumi quickly reassured her that it was no problem at all and that they didn't mind, but she pressed on, “Still, it must be difficult having so many people living under one roof. Where's Ranko to sleep for example?”

 

“With me!! With me!!” A heavily bandaged Happosai suddenly popped into the living room attempting to glom onto his dream girl, but was quickly booted out of the open veranda doors and over the garden wall.

 

That distraction gotten rid of, Kasumi opened her mouth to suggest her proposal of Akane's room, but never got the chance as Ranko said with a smile, “I'll be sleeping with Ranma, of course!”

 

“WHAT!???!!”

 

Streams of tea and bits of snacks were sprayed randomly about the living room in reaction to that comment, but Ranko just kept grinning and left it to Ranma to explain. “Ya see; we gotta sleep in the same room. It's like us stickin' together during the day, but even more so. The guys who helped us said it helped to condition our brains or somethin'.”

 

“RANMA, YOU PERVERT!!!” Akane slowly stood up, her mallet appearing in her hands as her red battle aura flared up around her. “You'd say anything to sleep with a girl, wouldn't you?!!? YOU-!” As Akane stepped toward her cringing victim she was suddenly brought up short.

 

“Whaddaya think you're doing, you uncute tomboy!??!!” Ranko stepped in front of Akane, her expression nearly as angry as the other girl's.

 

“Get out of my way!! I'm going to kill that stupid pervert!!” Akane brought her mallet up into strike position, only to have it suddenly swept out of her hands.

 

While Akane blinked in surprise at her empty hands, Ranko leaned on the weapon she had taken away from the other teenager so easily, a smug look on her face. “Look, dummy. Ranma and I are like brother and sister. You've slept in the same room as your sisters before, haven't ya? It doesn't make ya a lesbian does it? Besides it's not like it's any of your damn business what either Ranma or I do with our lives anyway so I suggest you butt the hell out or I'll kick it out for ya!”

 

“How dare you say that to me?!”

 

“I'll say anything I please! Or do you think you can stop me?!?”

 

“You, you, you…!!!!”

 

“Girls, girls!!” Nodoka stood between the two shouting teenagers, trying to placate them. “Let's not argue. If Ranma and Ranko need to sleep in the same room in order to be sure that they don't suffer any mental setbacks from their separation, I think we can all agree that it's best that they do so, right?” Akane muttered something angrily under her breath, but returned to her seat a surly expression on her face every time she saw Ranko sitting next to Ranma, her mallet in the redhead's hands. “But I do think their room is going to be a bit crowded with the three of them in it.”

 

“We should make Pop move out,” Ranma quickly suggested, a challenging grin on his face as he looked over at his father. “All he does is take up space; he never actually does anything to help out around here. Besides, he's a panda most of the time anyway, so he can sleep outside or something.”

 

“Now see here…!” Genma began, scared at the thought of being forced to sleep outdoors after getting so used to having a roof over his head. Especially since most of the rest of the people were nodding their head in agreement with Ranma. “Tendo, my old friend!!”

 

“Well, I don't think we have to go that far,” Soun observed, taking pity on his old training partner. “Let's just see how things work out for now.”

 

Nobody seemed to object to this so Nodoka brought up another point. “Well, all right then, if the Tendos don't mind. But Ranko dear, we really do need to get you something else to wear! You must come shopping with me tomorrow!”

 

Ranko looked down in surprise at her clothes. “What's wrong with these? They fit OK.”

 

Nodoka and all of the rest of the women, even Akane, shook their heads at the teenager's lack of fashion sense. “No, my dear,” Nodoka objected. “They simply won't do at all. They don't fit you and they're also in atrocious condition. Besides we'll need to get you more feminine garb for the dates such a lovely girl like yourself will be going on. And you'll be going to school with Ranma, isn't that true? So we need to get you a school uniform.”

 

“I don't know why,” Ranma observed. “I've never worn one.”

 

“Well you should, Ranma dear,” His mother reproved him sharply. “The girls would find you even more manly than they already do.” Then she took a closer look at her son, making sweat drops roll down his face as he worried about just what the unpredictable woman would say next. “In fact, Ranma dear, you'd better come along with Ranko and I and get some new clothes yourself. Those clothes barely fit you now and look so ratty!”

 

Ranma looked down at his clothes and realized that his mother was right. In the time since he had last bought clothes he had grown a couple of inches as well as having built up a great deal of muscle tone. Also, he had to admit that the constant fighting, training, adventures, and general craziness his life involved hadn't done any wonders for his clothes' condition. Still…He shared a look with Ranko and knew that she was as unenthused as he was at the prospect of a shopping trip. It just wasn't their idea of fun. Reluctantly, though, he had to say, “Well…OK, Mom. If you really think…”

 

“Oh, I do! I do!” Bright, shining, sparkles seemed to appear in Nodoka's eyes as she gushed about what she'd be doing with her children the next day. “First we'll pick up a whole new wardrobe for you, Ranma dear! We'll make you so handsome that even more girls will be falling at your feet, swooning over your manliness!!”

 

“Yippee,” Ranma muttered, thinking over his already extensive female troubles.

 

“And for you, Ranko dear, we'll get the whole works!! Casual clothes, fancy dresses, sexy lingerie,…!!!!!”

 

“I'll help with those!!” Happosai abruptly popped back in, ignoring his extensive injuries at the prospect of being involved in selecting Ranko's underwear. “With my extensive knowledge we'll be able to choose the perfect-! UUURRKK! AAAUUGGHHH!! WWWAaaaaaaauuuuhhhhhhhhh!!!” Happosai's voice trailed off into the distance as he was punted out of the Tokyo Metropolitan area after getting pummeled once again by Ranma and Ranko.

 

Nodoka, however, was so intent on her image of Ranko's future that she didn't even notice the interruption. “Yes, Ranko dear!! You'll be so incredibly lovely the young men will be lining up around the block to ask you for dates!! I'm so happy!! Wai!! Wai!!!” Nodoka produced her Japanese flag fans and began doing her victory dance as she thought about what her life with her children and soon-to-be-arriving grandchildren would be like.

 

Ranko wasn't quite so excited, though. “If you say so, Mom. But I'm gonna need stuff for trainin' too. And my clothes better not be too girly, I need to be able to fight, you know.”

 

“Don't worry, honey,” Nodoka replied, hugging her new daughter as she ignored what she had just said. “Just leave it to me. I'll take care of everything.”

 

“Yippee,” Ranko sighed.

 

The Cat Café

 

“Great Grandmother?”

 

Cologne stopped stirring the ramen broth at the sound of Shampoo's voice. She noticed that her granddaughter had an unusually serious expression on her face as she walked towards her, the metal device she had gotten from Ranma in her hand. “Yes child?”

 

“I need you to read what the people who helped Ranma want me to do in order to remove my cat curse. I have some questions about it for you.”

 

“If you say so, dear. Here, let me see.” Taking the message device from Shampoo, the Amazon Elder peered at it carefully to read:

 

SHAMPOO: YOU WILL HAVE YOUR GREAT GRANDMOTHER COMPLETE RANMA AND RANKO SAOTOME'S NEKO KEN TRAINING, THEREBY CURING THEM OF THEIR AILUROPHOBIA. WHEN THE TRAINING IS COMPLETED, WE WILL REMOVE YOUR CURSE.

 

Finished, Cologne closed the cover with a sigh and looked up to see her granddaughter looking at her with an accusing expression on her face. She knew exactly what Shampoo was thinking and was proven correct by the teen's torrent of questions.

 

“Great Grandmother, is this message correct? Do you really know how to cure my husband's fear of cats? Why didn't you teach him earlier if you could? Then he wouldn't have been scared of me in my cat form! And if you knew how to teach the Cat Fist, why didn't you teach it to me? It's such a powerful technique!!”

 

“It's not that simple, Shampoo,” Cologne began, again sighing at being forced to talk about such things to her granddaughter when she was still so young.

 

“What do you mean, Great Grandmother?”

 

“Well, let me start by explaining about the Neko Ken, child. Basically there are two stages to training someone in the Cat Fist. In the first part, the one the son-in-law went through, the trainee is taught the fear, anger, and hunger of cats. It is known as the Claw of the Cat. 85% of students are driven permanently insane by this first level of training, another 10% either die or become unstoppably suicidal. The 5% who survive with their sanity intact are left with an incredible fear of cats like Ranma, and Ranko also, I suppose.”

 

“Ahyaa!” Shampoo gasped. “That technique is way too dangerous!! Only a complete idiot would teach it to anyone!”

 

At this point Genma Saotome let forth a tremendous sneeze while eating dinner at the Tendos. The distraction proved enough opportunity for Ranma, Ranko, Soun and Happosai all to raid his plate of every single morsel of food that was on it.

 

Meanwhile back at the Neko Hanten, Cologne nodded at Shampoo's observation before continuing her explanation; “You're correct, child. That's why the Cat Fist has been outlawed by all martial arts organizations. And the second level isn't any safer than the first.”

 

“What is the second level, Great Grandmother?”

 

“The student who has mastered the Claw of the Cat, now must learn the playfulness, friendliness, and love of cats. To do this the trainee is put into their Neko mentality and then left to live with a large group of cats. If they recover their human identity within a week, then the student has fully mastered the Neko Ken. They will no longer have any fear of cats, in fact just the opposite; they will love them and enjoy having cats around them. Also, in addition to having full control of the Cat Fist powers they acquired after the first level of training, the students will now have many of the abilities of cats such as moving quietly, jumping prowess, enhanced senses, and so on.”

 

“Ahyaa! Those sound like great skills! Ranma will be so happy when he learns we can teach him how to finish his Neko Ken training!”

 

“Don't be in such a hurry, Shampoo!” Cologne cautioned. “As I said before, the second level of training is nearly as dangerous as the first. Of those students who begin the second level of training, only 10% recover their humanity within a week.”

 

“What happens to the students who don't regain their human senses within the first week, Great Grandmother?”

 

“They never do. They behave like cats for the rest of their lives.”

 

“Ahyaa! Maybe Ranma won't want to try the second level of training if he might be like a cat for the rest of his life!”

 

“Well, that's assuming we even offer to teach him the second level of training, dear.”

 

“What do you mean, Great Grandmother? Why wouldn't we want to help my husband to not be afraid of cats and hopefully free me from my curse as well?!”

 

Cologne took out her pipe and lit it before responding. “Shampoo, you know that I'm the Chief Elder of our Amazon village, but that doesn't mean that I am all that far above the other Elders on the Village Council. I'm the first among equals; no more.” Shampoo nodded her head in agreement with this well known truth of village life. “To be honest, since I've come to Japan there have been a few voices raised about our pursuit of the son-in-law and lately these voices have become louder.”

 

“Voices?!” Shampoo clenched her fists in anger. “Who would dare question me pursuing my husband? It is our law!”

 

“Calm down, child. Calm down.” Cologne waited until her granddaughter had settled down before continuing. “What a few of the other Elders have been questioning isn't your right to Ranma, dear, but how long it is taking for us to bring him back. More than once it has been suggested that your right to the son-in-law might need to be passed on to someone else in order to bring him into the village.”

 

“WHAT!!?!?! I'll never give up on Ranma!! And anyone who tries to take him from me…!!!!” Cologne could read what the furious Amazon was thinking and smiled internally, but outwardly she simply kept smoking her pipe until Shampoo finally calmed down at least slightly.

 

“I know, child. And the vast majority of Elders have been strong in their support of your claim on the son-in-law. I've explained several times about the various…difficulties that we're confronted with here and the Council has agreed we can take all the time we need. Unfortunately,” The Amazon Elder added with a sigh. “That isn't the only complaint that has been raised in the Council.”

 

“What else have the Elders been talking about, Great Grandmother?”

 

Cologne winced slightly, but went on regardless of what was a rather uncomfortable topic. “The truth is some Elders have felt that I shouldn't have taught outsiders any of our secret techniques. I explained to the Council why I revealed what I did to Ranma and Ryouga and a majority agreed with my judgment, but still…I could tell that many of the Elders weren't happy with it. Before teaching the son-in-law the second level of the Neko Ken, I'll have to get the Council's approval and that will take some time.”

 

“But we only have one week,” Shampoo objected, looking at the message device.

 

“Two weeks, actually,” Cologne corrected. “We have one week until we have to accept the offer and another week after that to actually offer to complete Ranma's Cat Fist training. Hopefully, that'll be enough time to convince the Council that we should do it.”

 

“Ahyaa! I hope they agree, Great Grandmother!”

 

“Me, too, child. Me, too.” Cologne hopped off the stool she had been sitting on and used her staff to make her way over towards the telephone. “Well, we might as well get started right now. Why don't you finish getting ready for dinner, child, while I make the call?” Cologne sighed. “Our phone bill is going to be astronomical this month.”

 

“OK, Great Grandmother.”

 

While Shampoo busied herself in the kitchen, Cologne began punching in the 217 numbers she needed in order to connect with the only phone in Joketsuzoku. While she did so, she thought over a third difficulty she was having with the Village Council over Ranma; one she didn't want Shampoo to know about.

 

At first the Council had seen Ranma as just another potential source of good genetic material for the Amazons, nothing more. After hearing about some of his exploits and abilities from Cologne, however, they had realized that the Japanese teen truly was something remarkable. Thus, they had been more intent than ever in getting him married to an Amazon and working at strengthening their bloodlines. This was the point when a few of the Amazons had suggested that perhaps their own daughters or granddaughters might be a better match for the boy than Shampoo since she was taking so long in bringing him back. These efforts Cologne had been able to deflect easily enough.

 

When the Council discovered that Ranma had beaten the Prince of the Musk Dynasty, Herb, though, another strain of thought began to arise among a few members of the Council. After the defeat of Saffron, this feeling had increased enough to be openly expressed in Council meetings. Was Ranma Saotome going to be someone they would be able to manage and control well enough that he could be a part of their tribe, or was he simply too powerful? Only seventeen, he had beaten opponents that the strongest of Amazons treaded warily around. He would undoubtedly only get stronger as he matured and learned more. Ranma was clearly either a potentially tremendous asset to the Joketsuzoku Amazons, as Cologne argued, or an equally big danger to them, as some Elders were beginning to feel. The question was which?

 

At the moment one of Ranma's biggest weaknesses was his fear of cats and the uncontrollable Neko state he could be induced into, despite its inherit physical strengths. Cologne well knew that the Council wouldn't be very happy at the thought of eliminating this one area that they could have used to help keep the teenager under control. And they would be even less pleased at making him even stronger by perfecting his Neko Ken abilities. In order to remove her granddaughter's curse as well as to increase the chances that Ranma would see the Chinese Amazons in a positive light, however, Cologne knew she had to try and convince the Council to let her teach Ranma the final stage of the Cat Fist. She could only hope she'd be successful.