Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Insanity Continues ❯ Countdown to the Wedding ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Lord Archive 
The rush is on to have Ranma and Akane get married before anything else can happen.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Martial Arts / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.27.2012 | Pages: 9 | Words: 6.6K | Visits: 681 | Status: Completed
The rush is on to have Ranma and Akane get married before anything else can happen.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Martial Arts / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.27.2012 | Pages: 9 | Words: 6.6K | Visits: 681 | Status: Completed
Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues
Volume 1 - Trapped
Chapter 4 - Countdown to the Wedding
By: Lord Archive
Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.
This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.
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"I can't believe it. We're actually going to do it today," Ranma muttered.
"There should be nothing to stop it this time," Akane replied.
Ranma shook his head. "The last time they tried it, it was a disaster."
Akane nodded. "Yeah, but this time we've handled the problems."
"Are you ready for it? Are we ready for it?" Ranma asked.
"Yes and no." Akane sighed. "While I do want this, we still have problems that should've been handled first."
"Why don't we solve them first?" Ranma questioned.
Akane glared at him, not missing he was still trying to back out of this. "Because the problems I'm referring to might take years to solve and thanks to what we did, we can't wait any longer."
"I know, but still. I'm not sure we should go through with it," Ranma grumbled.
"Ranma, we have to. You are just going to have to get over your cold feet," Akane chastised.
"Who says we have to do this though?" Ranma demanded.
Akane glared at him angrily. "Do I really have to spell that out for you?"
Ranma sagged dejectedly. "I guess there isn't a choice, but still. I wish we could wait."
"I wish so too, but it's NOT going to happen." Akane stomped into Dr. Tofu's clinic, while he followed her inside.
"Hello Ranma, Akane. It's been a while," Dr. Tofu greeted. "I hear congratulations are in order."
"Hi. Um, yes. We'd like to invite you to our wedding this afternoon," Akane answered.
"I'd be happy to go. It gives me a perfect chance to test to see if I've been able to gain some self-control when I'm around a certain girl. I've been working on that problem for a while now." Dr. Tofu looked off into space.
"Good luck, Doc. Hope it works," Ranma encouraged.
"Um... Dr. Tofu?" Akane began, blushing.
"What is it Akane?" the young looking doctor wondered.
Akane looked like she was about to burst a blood out of her face. "I was wondering, how far into a pregnancy could a couple still have sex?"
Dr. Tofu stared at the fidgeting couple in surprise. "Ah, well yes. From the cultural standpoint, as soon as it is known that you're pregnant."
Ranma and Akane frowned.
"Medically, it depends on the pregnancy. It varies depending on complications," Dr. Tofu answered.
"Um, could you make a guess on me?" Akane asked.
"It's hard to tell without tests. The earliest would be a couple months into a pregnancy," Dr. Tofu explained. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. But, I'd like you to stop by after school, Friday, so I can run some tests. I'd like both of you here, on Saturday, to talk about what to expect."
"Okay, Dr. Tofu. We'll see you then. We have to go now. Bye," Akane replied, leaving with Ranma.
The young couple noticed there was a minute left on the clock before school would start. They both broke out into a mad dash; however, Ranma stopped in his tracks when he saw Kuno with a bucket of water. In less than a second, Kuno launched his attack. With the arc of water hitting Saotome, he turned into a girl in front of the her attacker.
Kuno gripped his bokken tightly. "So the cunning Tendo Nabiki speaks true that the pig-tailed goddess of my dreams was nothing more than an illusion you fostered on me from a heinous curse. For using the curse to deceive me, I SHALL...."
Kuno was interrupted by a boot to the head, and went flying over Nerima.
"Argh! My hangover's back," Ranma groaned, holding her head.
"Guess it's your girl form that can't take alcohol," Akane giggled just as the school bell rung. "OH NO! We're late!"
Akane grabbed Ranma's hand, rushing to class.
Akane and female Ranma arrived at class, nearly running over their childlike teacher when they entered into the room.
Ms. Hinako stamped her feet angrily. "Akane, Ranma! Why are you late this time?!"
"Not so loud!" Ranma howled.
"We're sorry. We were delayed by Kuno and by delivering these." Akane handed her teacher a personalized invitation.
Ms. Hinako immediately turned the envelope in confetti to get at the card inside. She shrieked at what she read. "You're getting married today?!"
"Yes," Akane replied happily.
Ranma collapsed to the floor in agony. The class surged forward, asking questions.
"Quiet down, everyone, AND SIT DOWN!" Ms. Hinako yelled.
The class quickly obeyed when she produced a five yen coin. The only exception was Ranma, who was writhing in pain on the floor.
"What's wrong with you?" Ms. Hinako poked the red-head.
"Our dads decided to throw him a bachelor party last night, and his girl form has no tolerance for alcohol," Akane answered for Ranma.
"Can I get some hot water?" Ranma asked weakly.
"No." Ms. Hinako grinned with devilish delight. "You will go to your seat and sit there."
"This is cruel," Ranma muttered.
"I know." Ms. Hinako gleefully giggled.
The class soon deteriorated as everyone, including the childlike teacher, asked Akane about the wedding.
Ranma was left alone. No one needed to explain to them that a bad-ass martial artist with a hangover was best to be left alone.
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Lunch hour seemed to take forever to arrive. And with its arrival, all of the remaining wedding invitations were hastily delivered. After finishing that task, Ranma and Akane met under one of the trees in Furinkan's schoolyard and began to eat lunch. They were quickly surrounded by most of the students from Furinkan High. All sorts of questions were asked, but the young couple completely ignored them.
"I wished Ms. Hinako would've let me changed back. Having a hangover sucks!" Ranma grumbled.
"So do I. That way you could have answered some of those questions," Akane replied.
Ranma blinked. "Maybe I was better with the hangover."
The couple's attention was drawn to a large movement in the crowd. The crowd separated to reveal Kuno as he approached them. He spoke over the crowd, "I will have words with you! And I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, will show my intentions with this sign of peace!" He tossed his bokken aside and sat down.
"If ya want to talk, Kuno-'sempai,' talk," replied Ranma, and the crowd quieted down.
"Tendo Akane, I wish to know how a goddess such as yourself, can be in love with this foul demon?" Kuno demanded.
Ranma scowled at Kuno.
"Ranma may not be a saint, but he's definitely not a demon either. And as to why I love him? I... I... I don't know." Akane shrugged her shoulders. "I guess no one can truly answer why they love someone. It's something that just happens."
"Saotome Ranma, do you truly love the fair Tendo Akane and can you say as to why?"
"Yeah, I love Akane." Ranma blushed deeply. "And I don't know why either, but it's great when I see her smile."
Akane smiled at him. Most of the girls swooned at the romantic comment, well romantic for Ranma.
"One other question, Ranma, why is it you used the magic of your curse to deceive I, Kuno Tatewaki?" the young man demanded.
The crowd mumbled as they tried to figure out how Kuno finally made the connection.
"You should've been the first to know that. I've only changed a dozen times in front of you. You were just too dense to realize it. I even practically told you," Ranma answered sharply.
Akane shook her head at his words. She knew the same could be said of her when concerned with Ryoga.
"Tendo Akane, if you ever want to be free of Saotome, let me know. I shall come to your aid immediately and protect you for I shall always love you," Kuno vowed.
Akane rolled her eyes. "Kuno, you have to forget about me. I'm going to be happily married soon. I would also like you to go and search for someone who loves you, you might be surprised at who you find."
Kuno bowed to her. "I shall endeavor myself to try to do as you wish. For now, I ask that you invite me to your wedding."
"Of course, you can come," answered Akane.
"You can go, as long as ya don't try anything," added Ranma.
"Remember, Akane, while I may find someone else as you have wished, there shall always be a fiery torch that will always burn with my love for you."
Ranma struck a provocative feminine pose and asked in an almost soprano voice, "What about me Kuno-sempai?"
Kuno turned green, grabbed his bokken and ran off.
Ranma laughed as Akane backhanded his shoulder while failing to contain her
own laughter. After a moment she finally could say, "You shouldn't pick on
people like that. It isn't nice."
Ranma grinned at her. "But it sure was funny though."
From the crowd, a familiar voice echoed, "I will be taking orders for a picture of Kuno's reaction. One thousand yen each."
"Nabiki, mark me down for one," yelled Ranma.
"Ranma," Akane growled angry.
"Okay. Make that two," shouted Ranma as Akane punched him in the shoulder a bit lightly, almost playful.
Akane could barely manage a scowl. "You know that wasn't what I meant."
"Come on, Akane. That picture is a gem, besides how many photos did he buy of us?" Ranma said with a smirk.
Akane sighed. "Well, his face was priceless. It couldn't hurt to have one."
Ranma noticed the crowd's attention was now focused on Nabiki. "Let's get going, while the getting is good." He picked up Akane before she could respond and leapt towards the school building as lunch came to a close.
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The bell rang, ending the last class. Wanting to get home as quickly as possible, Ranma jumped out the second story window with Akane held firmly in his arms. He proceeded to carry her home, running on the rooftops.
"Air Ranma, the fastest way to travel in Nerima," Akane giggled.
"Yeah, less traffic this way," replied Ranma.
After a moment, Ranma landed at the front door of the Tendo home and set Akane down on to the ground.
Akane straightened her dress. "It's not so bad to travel that way."
"Not so bad for you, but murder on me." Ranma tried to catch his breath.
"Fine, next time I carry you," Akane said playfully, missing the possible comment about her weight.
Ranma pouted. "I'd rather not."
"Why not?" Akane asked quizzically.
"How does it look for some girl to carry a guy around town while running like that?" Ranma pointed out.
"Who said you were going to be a guy at the time?" Akane's started to get angry.
Before Ranma could reply Kasumi appeared and said, "Oh good. You're home already. We need to get you into your wedding dress. Ranma, your suit is in your old room." She grabbed her little sister's arm and rushed upstairs.
"Guess I'd better get ready," Ranma commented to himself, a bit thankful of not having to finish the conversation with Akane.
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Kasumi dragged Akane to her room so she could be fitted into her wedding dress. The youngest Tendo was surprised to see Nabiki already there.
"You're finally here," Nabiki said.
"How did you get here before me?" Akane asked as she started to get out of her school uniform.
"I skipped my afternoon classes after I found out a couple details were being overlooked."
Akane raised an eyebrow. "What details?"
"Things like dresses for the bridesmaid," Nabiki pointed out.
"Bridesmaids?" Akane looked shocked. "I forgot I needed bridesmaids!"
Nabiki waved her off. "Don't worry, I'm sure a couple will show up."
"What about you two?" Akane asked.
Nabiki shook her head. "Can't. I've got to take photos and make sure the guests behave themselves."
"I'll be busy to busy with the reception. Why don't you ask your friends?" Kasumi replied.
Akane sighed. "I hope I get the chance to ask someone."
Kasumi and Nabiki helped their little sister put the wedding gown on. The dress was a bit more elaborate than the one she had worn before.
"How come this isn't the same dress I wore at the last attempt?" Akane questioned.
"The last one was a rental. This one, however, is yours. I'm pretty sure you will be married this time," Nabiki replied.
"Well, if this fails, I guess we'll have to elope." Akane shrugged.
"That's the spirit," Nabiki said. "But technically you are already married to him. The paper work was filed for the wedding, it was just the ceremony that was bombed."
Akane blinked. "And when was someone going to tell me THAT?!"
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Ranma went upstairs to his old room and found the door locked. He wondered why it wouldn't open before he noticed a sign on the door, 'Guys dressing room.' He shrugged and then knocked at the door. A second later the door unlocked and opened a little.
Ryoga peeked through the door, saw Ranma, grabbed him, pulled him into the room, and shut and locked the door. Hibiki was mostly into his tux while Mousse, fully deck out and was adjusting something under his cloths. A white suit hung neatly in the nearly empty closet. Ranma spent a minute staring at it.
"It's not going put itself on you," Ryoga said as he tried to put on his bow tie.
"It did last time," Ranma replied, a bit dazed as the realization hit him of what he was about to do.
"That was because it was forced. This time you're doing this because you want to," Mousse intoned.
"Uh, yeah. Is everything set up?" Ranma asked.
"Pretty much, your mom is still working on food for the reception. All we need now is to get you and Akane ready," Ryoga answered.
Ranma nodded dumbly. "That's good."
The nervous groom quickly got dressed in his suit, straightening it out.
Ryoga was still trying to get his bow tie on correctly.
Ranma saw the lost boy's frustrated look, "Here, let me help you."
"I can do it," Ryoga snarled.
"Not the way you're doing it. Just let me help," Ranma countered.
Ryoga growled, but resigned to let his... friend help him tie it properly.
"There, perfect," said Ranma with a grin.
Ryoga looked in the mirror. "I guess, but do these things need to be so tight?"
Ranma was sure it was probably tighter than it needed to be yet replied, "With these cloths, looks are more important than comfort."
"You can say that again," Mousse commented, still trying to adjust something inside his tuxedo. "These things give little room to hide weapons."
"You hid weapons in your tux?" Ranma asked, giving Mousse a confused look.
Mousse nodded. "Of course, there is still a good chance hostility will commence and it would not do for me to be without some of my weapons."
"I guess," Ranma said, shaking his head.
"If you're too uncomfortable, you might want to remove some of your weapons," Ryoga suggested.
"I'll be fine. I'm considering it endurance training," replied Mousse.
"Excellent! With an attitude like that, you'll make a great martial artist," Ranma grinned.
"But I am a great martial artist," retorted Mousse.
"No, you're a decent martial artist. You're far from being a great martial artist," countered Ranma with a grin.
"I'll show you," Mousse growled angrily.
"Later! Right now we have to get him married," interrupted Ryoga. Who would have thought he would help keep Ranma from messing up getting married to Akane.
"Right. I'm hungry, let's go grab a snack," said Ranma.
"Sure!" Ryoga and Mousse replied.
The trio left the dressing room, heading for the kitchen.
"Hi, Mom," Ranma greeted.
"My, do you look handsome," Nodoka told him with a smile.
Ranma scratched the back of his head. "Thanks, I was wondering if we can grab a snack."
Nodoka nodded. "Certainly. And once you finished, you can greet the guests."
"Do I have to?" Ranma moaned.
"Someone has to. Besides, what else are you going to do for the next hour?" Nodoka asked.
"Fine. We greet the guests," Ranma replied.
After Ranma, Ryoga, and Mousse made short work of their snacks, they went to the front gate and prepared to meet the guests. As they got there, they saw Ukyou and Konatsu enter the gate. Ukyou wore a tuxedo while Konatsu wore a very nice, pink and white kimono.
"Ucchan! It's good to see you. Thanks for coming," Ranma greeted happily, though tainted with a touch of sadness since the girl looked ready to cry.
"It's good to see you, too. I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything, even though I wanted to be the bride," Ukyou replied. This comment raised the eyebrows of an elderly couple coming up from behind them. "Um, do you think Akane needs any help?"
"I'm sure she'll appreciate any help you can offer. She's in her room getting ready," Ranma replied. After Ukyou left, Ranma turned to Konatsu. "How's she taking it?"
"Fine, I think." Konatsu paused. "Until Nabiki stopped by, I thought she was going to shut down completely and emotionally die. After that she seemed better, but still a bit sedated."
"I hope she's all right. You can wait in the dojo for the wedding," Ranma informed as he prepared to meet the unfamiliar couple behind Konatsu. "Hello, I'm Saotome Ranma, can I help you?"
"So you're going to marry our granddaughter," commented the elderly man gruffly.
"Don't mind him," interjected the elderly woman. "He can be rude a lot of the time. We're Akane's grandparents and we are here to see the wedding."
"Pleased to meet you," said politely Ranma with a bow, not liking he had to do this.
"Pleased to meet you," returned the woman with a bow. The man did not respond. She gave him the evil eye. "I would like to see Akane and help her if I can."
"Certainly." As the woman left, Ranma turned to look at Akane's grandfather who was examining him closely.
"What was with that couple before us, and why did you refer to the guy in tux as 'she?'" asked the elderly man.
"It's a long story, but the person in the tux is a girl. She was raised as a guy," Ranma replied.
The elderly man folded his arms. "Why did she want to marry you?"
"Because she loves me, the problem is I'm in love with Akane," Ranma told him.
"And Akane loves you?" the elderly man asked harshly.
Ranma nodded. "If she didn't, we wouldn't be here now."
"How can we be sure of that?" the elderly man demanded.
"Well, she not screaming in protest and isn't destroying anything," Ranma answered.
The elderly man raised an eyebrow. "She tends to be violent at times?"
Ranma nodded.
The man laughed, "Just like her grandmother." He made a quick move and grabbed Ranma's jaw, surprising the youth. The man examined Ranma's teeth.
"What ya do that for?" Ranma yelled as he broke loose of the man's hold.
The elderly man grinned at him. "Nice teeth, could keep better care of them though."
"What are ya, a dentist?" Ranma spat.
"Horse breeder," the elderly man answered with a laugh before leaving for the dojo.
Mousse was also laughing, while Ryoga and Ranma apparently missed the joke.
"What's so funny?" Ranma demanded.
"He made a play on your name. For when a person buys a horse, the buyer checks the teeth to help judge its value," Mousse informed.
"Oh funny." Ranma wasn't amused.
Ryoga chuckled. "It is funny, wished I knew the joke earlier."
Ranma thought this had to get better as he spent the next several minutes greeting nondescript friends, a relative he didn't know he had from his mother's side, and a couple more soon-to-be relatives.
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Akane had been trying to stand still while her sisters made some alterations to the wedding dress. Akane was a bit relieved when someone knocked at the door.
"Who is it?" asked Akane.
"Ukyou," replied the voice from behind the door. Akane and Nabiki tensed.
"Enter." Akane hoped her friend was all right, and was not out to cause trouble.
"Hi," Ukyou said meekly as she entered the room.
"Hi. How have you been feeling?" Akane asked with nervous concern.
"Lets just say I've been considering asking Ryoga how to use Shi Shi Hokodan," Ukyou answered with some bitterness.
"Oh," Akane uttered.
"How have you been feeling?" Ukyou wondered.
Akane grinned sheepishly. "Scared, happy, scared, upset, and scared."
Ukyou folded her arms. "Not to sure about the future are you?"
"Sort of. It's just that so much is changing. I'm afraid I'm going to lose everything I liked about my childhood. I'm really scared I'll lose your friendship," Akane replied, nervously.
Ukyou nodded. "I don't want to lose you as a friend either, but it'll be hard seeing you, knowing it was you who stole my Ranchan's heart."
Akane sighed. "I wish that everyone could come out of this happy. But I was never able to figure out how."
"It would've been better if you let me have Ranchan and you took Ryoga," Ukyou suggested.
Akane shook her head. "I know you tried to get me and Ryoga together, but he could never be more than a friend. Especially now that I know he's also P-Chan."
"Damn," muttered Nabiki.
Ukyou looked shocked.
Akane scowled at Nabiki, promising herself to talk to her sister later.
"No chance of you changing your mind and calling off the wedding?" Ukyou asked.
"None," replied Akane, testily.
"It was worth a shot. Um, Is there anything I could do to help?" Ukyou wondered.
Akane gazed at her in thought. It might help her friend to get over Ranma if she was an important part of the wedding. "Well I was wondering if you could be my maid of honor?"
Ukyou's mouth dropped. "Me? Why?"
Akane grabbed the girl's hands. "Because you're one of my closest friends, and it would mean a lot to me."
"You want me to be your maid of honor? Despite the fact I've tried to take Ranchan from you and I helped destroy the last wedding attempt," Ukyou asked incredulously.
Akane nodded. "Yes, if Ranma can have Ryoga as his best man despite their past, why can't you be my maid of honor?"
"I... It would be an honor," Ukyou answered, not sure of the wisdom of her choice.
"Thank you," Akane smiled.
Another knock was heard at the semi-closed door. "Who is it?"
"Hello, Akane. It's been a long time," said the voice from the now open door.
"Grandma!" cried the three sisters.
"It has been a long time," said Akane.
Akane's grandmother hugged the bride-to-be. "How are you?"
"Scared mostly," Akane admitted.
"We all get scared before our own wedding. Getting married is about changing your relationship with someone you love. And it's human nature to fear change, even if, at the same time, we want it," the elderly woman told her.
Nabiki picked up a dress that was on Akane's bed and went over to Ukyou. She handed the dress over and whispered something. Ukyou left with the dress.
"Knowing that still doesn't help reduce my fears," Akane said.
The elderly woman nodded. "I know, but it helps confront them. I am concerned if it's wise to have the groom greeting guests at the gate, he might get cold feet decide to run off."
"Not likely. Ranma isn't one to run away from his obligations nor from fear," Akane firmly defended.
"Unless it's a cat," added Nabiki, earning an angry glare from her little sister.
The elderly woman blinked. "From a cat?"
Akane sighed. "It's a long story."
"Oh," the elderly woman replied. "Um, was the person that was just here a girl or a guy?"
Akane frowned. "Ukyou is a girl, she's just raised as guy."
"Does her date know that?" the elderly woman asked.
Akane laughed, "That would be Konatsu. He's a guy that was raised as a girl."
The elderly woman blinked again and commented, "You certainly know some interesting people."
Nabiki smirked. "You haven't really heard or seen anything yet."
They went into small talk and worked on getting Akane ready.
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The moment Ranma had been dreading most arrived in the form of an Amazon with purple hair and her great-grandmother.
"Hi, Shampoo," said Ranma, failing to sound enthusiastic.
"Hello. Here to see Ranma's wedding. Will cause no problems. Hope Ranma happy with violent girl," Shampoo muttered out.
Ranma stared at her. "Ah, thanks. And thank you for coming. I'm sure I'll be happy with Akane."
"Shampoo my love, I shall soon prove my worth to be your husband," elated Mousse to a nearby bush.
Shampoo responded with her bonbori to Mousse's skull.
"Come granddaughter, we don't want miss getting good seats," Cologne commanded.
"Can we trust them?" asked Ryoga.
Mousse shook his head as he tried to regain his senses and replied, "They cannot interfere now. While losing Ranma as a husband will cause loss of honor, stopping the wedding or hurting Akane can be severely punished because of her situation."
"What situation would that be?" asked Hiroshi as he and Daisuke entered the gate.
"I think Ranma hasn't been telling us everything that's been going on," commented Daisuke.
"Uh... he just means that we have admitted our love to each other, that's all," Ranma replied nervously.
Ryoga was confused. Mousse looked away.
"Right," Hiroshi and Daisuke drawled out, sounding completely unconvinced.
"Well it's nice to see ya here. The wedding is in the dojo, you better hurry for a good seat," Ranma suggested.
Ranma was worried that could be a problem as yet another unfamiliar couple entered the gate. A cold chill raced down his spine. The old guy looks too much like his father. He swallowed nervously. "Hi. I'm Saotome Ranma, can I help you?"
"So this is our grandson," stated the older man who stood almost as tall as Genma. He had a similar build, but was not nearly well fed and a lot more wrinkles.
"Hello, you might not remember us, but we're your grandparents," said the small woman.
A large bead of sweet formed on Ranma's head.
"Mom!" was heard from the other side of the wall. Genma and Soun appeared at the gate and carried a large box. "Tendo take the box in, and get Nodoka."
Soun nodded and ran into the house with the box.
"Still married to her?" asked Ranma's grandmother.
"O-of course I'm still married to her," replied Genma.
"I thought I trained you better than that. You shouldn't have married so young if you didn't mean to swindle the girl out of her family fortune," the elderly Saotome woman chastised.
"Excuse me?!" screeched Ranma. "What are you talking about?"
"You didn't even train your son in the ways of the quiet thief." Ranma's grandmother shook her head. She looked at him seriously. "My family is suppose to be trained in the art swindling others out of money. To rob potential suitors of all their worth before settling down."
"He certainly practiced it," chided Mousse.
"He has?" asked grandma Saotome with a bit of hope.
"Until recently he had three fiancees," Mousse replied.
"Shut up. I did not swindle them!" Ranma yelled.
"Could have fooled me," stated Ryoga.
"I hardly see free food as swindling them," snarled Ranma.
"The way you eat, I'd say it was," retorted Mousse.
"How about the practice of the noisy thief?" asked Genma's father.
"Noisy thief?" Ranma growled.
"You know the art of distracting the target and steal from them when they aren't paying attention," the elderly Saotome explained.
Ranma shook his head 'no,' while wondering what type of family he had when his grandparents were thieves.
Nodoka interrupted, "Ah... hello. It's, ah, good to see you again. Genma, why don't we show your parents to the dojo?" She guided them to the dojo while praying they didn't rob the Tendo home blind.>
Ranma closed his eyes and tried to regain some composure.
"H-hello Akari," Ryoga stuttered.
"Hi. It's good to see ya," Ranma said.
"Hello Ryoga, Ranma. I'm as excited as a pig at feeding time. I've never been to a friend's wedding before," Akari chirped.
"Well, now's your chance," Ranma said, grinning.
"Is there anything I could do to help?" asked Akari.
Ranma thumbed towards the door. "You can go upstairs and ask Akane and the others if they need help."
"Thanks," Akari said as she ran into the Tendo home, hoping to be a bridesmaid.
After seeing Akari vanish into the Tendo home, Ranma froze at the sound of insane laughter.
"Hello Ranma-sama, I hear you decided to marry that violent wench, Akane," Kodachi announced as she appeared at the gate with Sanzenin Mikado.
"I don't remember inviting either of you," Ranma growled.
Kodachi didn't seemed bother by his tone. "A minor oversight, I'm sure. Do not worry, I will not interfere with this wedding."
"And I'm just here as her date," added Mikado.
"You didn't bring Azusa, did you?" Ryoga asked.
"No, I left her at a toy store where the girl working there had the gall to slap me," Mikado replied.
"Poor girl," said Ryoga and Ranma, thinking of the store clerk.
"All right, you can be at the wedding. But do anything wrong and you'll be sent to the hospital. Understand?" Ranma threatened.
"Of course, Ranma-sama," Kodachi said.
"I am not one to cause problems," Mikado said.
"The wedding is in the dojo," Ranma said.
As Kodachi and Mikado left for the dojo, Ranma rolled his eyes at the sight of the next guest. "The sorrow of losing one's love is great. To loss her to evil is far worse," Kuno elaborated.
"Be quiet Kuno-sempai, or you'll miss the wedding," snarled Ranma.
"I shall not miss the wedding of Tendo Akane for any reason," Kuno retorted.
"Then go to dojo and wait," Ranma demanded.
Kuno glared at him for a moment before nodding in agreement. "For the sake of Tendo Akane, I shall do as you say."
"Jerk," mumbled Ranma.
"Aloha, Ranma," greeted the patriarch of the Kuno clan.
Ranma back away a little. "Hello, Principal Kuno. It's, ah, good that you could make it."
Principal Kuno grinned evilly. "I hope marryin' Akane will cure you of your delinquent ways."
"Fat chance of that," Ryoga remarked.
Ranma bit back a growl. "The wedding is in the dojo, please go there and wait." Once Principal Kuno was out of ear shot, he almost yelled, "I can't take much more of this."
"You don't have to. It's time to take your places. The wedding is about to begin," Nabiki announced from the doorway of the Tendo home. She held a stack of cards in her hand.
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Author's Note:
Thanks to David A Tatum, Byran Neef, the Rams, and Rea Konecki for helping with the original version of this chapter.
It has been noted that Ranma has a little practice in being a noisy thief. If you're a thief and someone asked if you were, would you admit it? Well, neither would Ranma. Especially when he's only done it to get food while training with his father or applied concepts of it into martial arts (Saotome Final Special Attack - Fake an attack, then Run Away!).
Volume 1 - Trapped
Chapter 4 - Countdown to the Wedding
By: Lord Archive
Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.
This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.
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"I can't believe it. We're actually going to do it today," Ranma muttered.
"There should be nothing to stop it this time," Akane replied.
Ranma shook his head. "The last time they tried it, it was a disaster."
Akane nodded. "Yeah, but this time we've handled the problems."
"Are you ready for it? Are we ready for it?" Ranma asked.
"Yes and no." Akane sighed. "While I do want this, we still have problems that should've been handled first."
"Why don't we solve them first?" Ranma questioned.
Akane glared at him, not missing he was still trying to back out of this. "Because the problems I'm referring to might take years to solve and thanks to what we did, we can't wait any longer."
"I know, but still. I'm not sure we should go through with it," Ranma grumbled.
"Ranma, we have to. You are just going to have to get over your cold feet," Akane chastised.
"Who says we have to do this though?" Ranma demanded.
Akane glared at him angrily. "Do I really have to spell that out for you?"
Ranma sagged dejectedly. "I guess there isn't a choice, but still. I wish we could wait."
"I wish so too, but it's NOT going to happen." Akane stomped into Dr. Tofu's clinic, while he followed her inside.
"Hello Ranma, Akane. It's been a while," Dr. Tofu greeted. "I hear congratulations are in order."
"Hi. Um, yes. We'd like to invite you to our wedding this afternoon," Akane answered.
"I'd be happy to go. It gives me a perfect chance to test to see if I've been able to gain some self-control when I'm around a certain girl. I've been working on that problem for a while now." Dr. Tofu looked off into space.
"Good luck, Doc. Hope it works," Ranma encouraged.
"Um... Dr. Tofu?" Akane began, blushing.
"What is it Akane?" the young looking doctor wondered.
Akane looked like she was about to burst a blood out of her face. "I was wondering, how far into a pregnancy could a couple still have sex?"
Dr. Tofu stared at the fidgeting couple in surprise. "Ah, well yes. From the cultural standpoint, as soon as it is known that you're pregnant."
Ranma and Akane frowned.
"Medically, it depends on the pregnancy. It varies depending on complications," Dr. Tofu answered.
"Um, could you make a guess on me?" Akane asked.
"It's hard to tell without tests. The earliest would be a couple months into a pregnancy," Dr. Tofu explained. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. But, I'd like you to stop by after school, Friday, so I can run some tests. I'd like both of you here, on Saturday, to talk about what to expect."
"Okay, Dr. Tofu. We'll see you then. We have to go now. Bye," Akane replied, leaving with Ranma.
The young couple noticed there was a minute left on the clock before school would start. They both broke out into a mad dash; however, Ranma stopped in his tracks when he saw Kuno with a bucket of water. In less than a second, Kuno launched his attack. With the arc of water hitting Saotome, he turned into a girl in front of the her attacker.
Kuno gripped his bokken tightly. "So the cunning Tendo Nabiki speaks true that the pig-tailed goddess of my dreams was nothing more than an illusion you fostered on me from a heinous curse. For using the curse to deceive me, I SHALL...."
Kuno was interrupted by a boot to the head, and went flying over Nerima.
"Argh! My hangover's back," Ranma groaned, holding her head.
"Guess it's your girl form that can't take alcohol," Akane giggled just as the school bell rung. "OH NO! We're late!"
Akane grabbed Ranma's hand, rushing to class.
Akane and female Ranma arrived at class, nearly running over their childlike teacher when they entered into the room.
Ms. Hinako stamped her feet angrily. "Akane, Ranma! Why are you late this time?!"
"Not so loud!" Ranma howled.
"We're sorry. We were delayed by Kuno and by delivering these." Akane handed her teacher a personalized invitation.
Ms. Hinako immediately turned the envelope in confetti to get at the card inside. She shrieked at what she read. "You're getting married today?!"
"Yes," Akane replied happily.
Ranma collapsed to the floor in agony. The class surged forward, asking questions.
"Quiet down, everyone, AND SIT DOWN!" Ms. Hinako yelled.
The class quickly obeyed when she produced a five yen coin. The only exception was Ranma, who was writhing in pain on the floor.
"What's wrong with you?" Ms. Hinako poked the red-head.
"Our dads decided to throw him a bachelor party last night, and his girl form has no tolerance for alcohol," Akane answered for Ranma.
"Can I get some hot water?" Ranma asked weakly.
"No." Ms. Hinako grinned with devilish delight. "You will go to your seat and sit there."
"This is cruel," Ranma muttered.
"I know." Ms. Hinako gleefully giggled.
The class soon deteriorated as everyone, including the childlike teacher, asked Akane about the wedding.
Ranma was left alone. No one needed to explain to them that a bad-ass martial artist with a hangover was best to be left alone.
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Lunch hour seemed to take forever to arrive. And with its arrival, all of the remaining wedding invitations were hastily delivered. After finishing that task, Ranma and Akane met under one of the trees in Furinkan's schoolyard and began to eat lunch. They were quickly surrounded by most of the students from Furinkan High. All sorts of questions were asked, but the young couple completely ignored them.
"I wished Ms. Hinako would've let me changed back. Having a hangover sucks!" Ranma grumbled.
"So do I. That way you could have answered some of those questions," Akane replied.
Ranma blinked. "Maybe I was better with the hangover."
The couple's attention was drawn to a large movement in the crowd. The crowd separated to reveal Kuno as he approached them. He spoke over the crowd, "I will have words with you! And I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, will show my intentions with this sign of peace!" He tossed his bokken aside and sat down.
"If ya want to talk, Kuno-'sempai,' talk," replied Ranma, and the crowd quieted down.
"Tendo Akane, I wish to know how a goddess such as yourself, can be in love with this foul demon?" Kuno demanded.
Ranma scowled at Kuno.
"Ranma may not be a saint, but he's definitely not a demon either. And as to why I love him? I... I... I don't know." Akane shrugged her shoulders. "I guess no one can truly answer why they love someone. It's something that just happens."
"Saotome Ranma, do you truly love the fair Tendo Akane and can you say as to why?"
"Yeah, I love Akane." Ranma blushed deeply. "And I don't know why either, but it's great when I see her smile."
Akane smiled at him. Most of the girls swooned at the romantic comment, well romantic for Ranma.
"One other question, Ranma, why is it you used the magic of your curse to deceive I, Kuno Tatewaki?" the young man demanded.
The crowd mumbled as they tried to figure out how Kuno finally made the connection.
"You should've been the first to know that. I've only changed a dozen times in front of you. You were just too dense to realize it. I even practically told you," Ranma answered sharply.
Akane shook her head at his words. She knew the same could be said of her when concerned with Ryoga.
"Tendo Akane, if you ever want to be free of Saotome, let me know. I shall come to your aid immediately and protect you for I shall always love you," Kuno vowed.
Akane rolled her eyes. "Kuno, you have to forget about me. I'm going to be happily married soon. I would also like you to go and search for someone who loves you, you might be surprised at who you find."
Kuno bowed to her. "I shall endeavor myself to try to do as you wish. For now, I ask that you invite me to your wedding."
"Of course, you can come," answered Akane.
"You can go, as long as ya don't try anything," added Ranma.
"Remember, Akane, while I may find someone else as you have wished, there shall always be a fiery torch that will always burn with my love for you."
Ranma struck a provocative feminine pose and asked in an almost soprano voice, "What about me Kuno-sempai?"
Kuno turned green, grabbed his bokken and ran off.
Ranma laughed as Akane backhanded his shoulder while failing to contain her
own laughter. After a moment she finally could say, "You shouldn't pick on
people like that. It isn't nice."
Ranma grinned at her. "But it sure was funny though."
From the crowd, a familiar voice echoed, "I will be taking orders for a picture of Kuno's reaction. One thousand yen each."
"Nabiki, mark me down for one," yelled Ranma.
"Ranma," Akane growled angry.
"Okay. Make that two," shouted Ranma as Akane punched him in the shoulder a bit lightly, almost playful.
Akane could barely manage a scowl. "You know that wasn't what I meant."
"Come on, Akane. That picture is a gem, besides how many photos did he buy of us?" Ranma said with a smirk.
Akane sighed. "Well, his face was priceless. It couldn't hurt to have one."
Ranma noticed the crowd's attention was now focused on Nabiki. "Let's get going, while the getting is good." He picked up Akane before she could respond and leapt towards the school building as lunch came to a close.
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The bell rang, ending the last class. Wanting to get home as quickly as possible, Ranma jumped out the second story window with Akane held firmly in his arms. He proceeded to carry her home, running on the rooftops.
"Air Ranma, the fastest way to travel in Nerima," Akane giggled.
"Yeah, less traffic this way," replied Ranma.
After a moment, Ranma landed at the front door of the Tendo home and set Akane down on to the ground.
Akane straightened her dress. "It's not so bad to travel that way."
"Not so bad for you, but murder on me." Ranma tried to catch his breath.
"Fine, next time I carry you," Akane said playfully, missing the possible comment about her weight.
Ranma pouted. "I'd rather not."
"Why not?" Akane asked quizzically.
"How does it look for some girl to carry a guy around town while running like that?" Ranma pointed out.
"Who said you were going to be a guy at the time?" Akane's started to get angry.
Before Ranma could reply Kasumi appeared and said, "Oh good. You're home already. We need to get you into your wedding dress. Ranma, your suit is in your old room." She grabbed her little sister's arm and rushed upstairs.
"Guess I'd better get ready," Ranma commented to himself, a bit thankful of not having to finish the conversation with Akane.
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Kasumi dragged Akane to her room so she could be fitted into her wedding dress. The youngest Tendo was surprised to see Nabiki already there.
"You're finally here," Nabiki said.
"How did you get here before me?" Akane asked as she started to get out of her school uniform.
"I skipped my afternoon classes after I found out a couple details were being overlooked."
Akane raised an eyebrow. "What details?"
"Things like dresses for the bridesmaid," Nabiki pointed out.
"Bridesmaids?" Akane looked shocked. "I forgot I needed bridesmaids!"
Nabiki waved her off. "Don't worry, I'm sure a couple will show up."
"What about you two?" Akane asked.
Nabiki shook her head. "Can't. I've got to take photos and make sure the guests behave themselves."
"I'll be busy to busy with the reception. Why don't you ask your friends?" Kasumi replied.
Akane sighed. "I hope I get the chance to ask someone."
Kasumi and Nabiki helped their little sister put the wedding gown on. The dress was a bit more elaborate than the one she had worn before.
"How come this isn't the same dress I wore at the last attempt?" Akane questioned.
"The last one was a rental. This one, however, is yours. I'm pretty sure you will be married this time," Nabiki replied.
"Well, if this fails, I guess we'll have to elope." Akane shrugged.
"That's the spirit," Nabiki said. "But technically you are already married to him. The paper work was filed for the wedding, it was just the ceremony that was bombed."
Akane blinked. "And when was someone going to tell me THAT?!"
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Ranma went upstairs to his old room and found the door locked. He wondered why it wouldn't open before he noticed a sign on the door, 'Guys dressing room.' He shrugged and then knocked at the door. A second later the door unlocked and opened a little.
Ryoga peeked through the door, saw Ranma, grabbed him, pulled him into the room, and shut and locked the door. Hibiki was mostly into his tux while Mousse, fully deck out and was adjusting something under his cloths. A white suit hung neatly in the nearly empty closet. Ranma spent a minute staring at it.
"It's not going put itself on you," Ryoga said as he tried to put on his bow tie.
"It did last time," Ranma replied, a bit dazed as the realization hit him of what he was about to do.
"That was because it was forced. This time you're doing this because you want to," Mousse intoned.
"Uh, yeah. Is everything set up?" Ranma asked.
"Pretty much, your mom is still working on food for the reception. All we need now is to get you and Akane ready," Ryoga answered.
Ranma nodded dumbly. "That's good."
The nervous groom quickly got dressed in his suit, straightening it out.
Ryoga was still trying to get his bow tie on correctly.
Ranma saw the lost boy's frustrated look, "Here, let me help you."
"I can do it," Ryoga snarled.
"Not the way you're doing it. Just let me help," Ranma countered.
Ryoga growled, but resigned to let his... friend help him tie it properly.
"There, perfect," said Ranma with a grin.
Ryoga looked in the mirror. "I guess, but do these things need to be so tight?"
Ranma was sure it was probably tighter than it needed to be yet replied, "With these cloths, looks are more important than comfort."
"You can say that again," Mousse commented, still trying to adjust something inside his tuxedo. "These things give little room to hide weapons."
"You hid weapons in your tux?" Ranma asked, giving Mousse a confused look.
Mousse nodded. "Of course, there is still a good chance hostility will commence and it would not do for me to be without some of my weapons."
"I guess," Ranma said, shaking his head.
"If you're too uncomfortable, you might want to remove some of your weapons," Ryoga suggested.
"I'll be fine. I'm considering it endurance training," replied Mousse.
"Excellent! With an attitude like that, you'll make a great martial artist," Ranma grinned.
"But I am a great martial artist," retorted Mousse.
"No, you're a decent martial artist. You're far from being a great martial artist," countered Ranma with a grin.
"I'll show you," Mousse growled angrily.
"Later! Right now we have to get him married," interrupted Ryoga. Who would have thought he would help keep Ranma from messing up getting married to Akane.
"Right. I'm hungry, let's go grab a snack," said Ranma.
"Sure!" Ryoga and Mousse replied.
The trio left the dressing room, heading for the kitchen.
"Hi, Mom," Ranma greeted.
"My, do you look handsome," Nodoka told him with a smile.
Ranma scratched the back of his head. "Thanks, I was wondering if we can grab a snack."
Nodoka nodded. "Certainly. And once you finished, you can greet the guests."
"Do I have to?" Ranma moaned.
"Someone has to. Besides, what else are you going to do for the next hour?" Nodoka asked.
"Fine. We greet the guests," Ranma replied.
After Ranma, Ryoga, and Mousse made short work of their snacks, they went to the front gate and prepared to meet the guests. As they got there, they saw Ukyou and Konatsu enter the gate. Ukyou wore a tuxedo while Konatsu wore a very nice, pink and white kimono.
"Ucchan! It's good to see you. Thanks for coming," Ranma greeted happily, though tainted with a touch of sadness since the girl looked ready to cry.
"It's good to see you, too. I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything, even though I wanted to be the bride," Ukyou replied. This comment raised the eyebrows of an elderly couple coming up from behind them. "Um, do you think Akane needs any help?"
"I'm sure she'll appreciate any help you can offer. She's in her room getting ready," Ranma replied. After Ukyou left, Ranma turned to Konatsu. "How's she taking it?"
"Fine, I think." Konatsu paused. "Until Nabiki stopped by, I thought she was going to shut down completely and emotionally die. After that she seemed better, but still a bit sedated."
"I hope she's all right. You can wait in the dojo for the wedding," Ranma informed as he prepared to meet the unfamiliar couple behind Konatsu. "Hello, I'm Saotome Ranma, can I help you?"
"So you're going to marry our granddaughter," commented the elderly man gruffly.
"Don't mind him," interjected the elderly woman. "He can be rude a lot of the time. We're Akane's grandparents and we are here to see the wedding."
"Pleased to meet you," said politely Ranma with a bow, not liking he had to do this.
"Pleased to meet you," returned the woman with a bow. The man did not respond. She gave him the evil eye. "I would like to see Akane and help her if I can."
"Certainly." As the woman left, Ranma turned to look at Akane's grandfather who was examining him closely.
"What was with that couple before us, and why did you refer to the guy in tux as 'she?'" asked the elderly man.
"It's a long story, but the person in the tux is a girl. She was raised as a guy," Ranma replied.
The elderly man folded his arms. "Why did she want to marry you?"
"Because she loves me, the problem is I'm in love with Akane," Ranma told him.
"And Akane loves you?" the elderly man asked harshly.
Ranma nodded. "If she didn't, we wouldn't be here now."
"How can we be sure of that?" the elderly man demanded.
"Well, she not screaming in protest and isn't destroying anything," Ranma answered.
The elderly man raised an eyebrow. "She tends to be violent at times?"
Ranma nodded.
The man laughed, "Just like her grandmother." He made a quick move and grabbed Ranma's jaw, surprising the youth. The man examined Ranma's teeth.
"What ya do that for?" Ranma yelled as he broke loose of the man's hold.
The elderly man grinned at him. "Nice teeth, could keep better care of them though."
"What are ya, a dentist?" Ranma spat.
"Horse breeder," the elderly man answered with a laugh before leaving for the dojo.
Mousse was also laughing, while Ryoga and Ranma apparently missed the joke.
"What's so funny?" Ranma demanded.
"He made a play on your name. For when a person buys a horse, the buyer checks the teeth to help judge its value," Mousse informed.
"Oh funny." Ranma wasn't amused.
Ryoga chuckled. "It is funny, wished I knew the joke earlier."
Ranma thought this had to get better as he spent the next several minutes greeting nondescript friends, a relative he didn't know he had from his mother's side, and a couple more soon-to-be relatives.
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Akane had been trying to stand still while her sisters made some alterations to the wedding dress. Akane was a bit relieved when someone knocked at the door.
"Who is it?" asked Akane.
"Ukyou," replied the voice from behind the door. Akane and Nabiki tensed.
"Enter." Akane hoped her friend was all right, and was not out to cause trouble.
"Hi," Ukyou said meekly as she entered the room.
"Hi. How have you been feeling?" Akane asked with nervous concern.
"Lets just say I've been considering asking Ryoga how to use Shi Shi Hokodan," Ukyou answered with some bitterness.
"Oh," Akane uttered.
"How have you been feeling?" Ukyou wondered.
Akane grinned sheepishly. "Scared, happy, scared, upset, and scared."
Ukyou folded her arms. "Not to sure about the future are you?"
"Sort of. It's just that so much is changing. I'm afraid I'm going to lose everything I liked about my childhood. I'm really scared I'll lose your friendship," Akane replied, nervously.
Ukyou nodded. "I don't want to lose you as a friend either, but it'll be hard seeing you, knowing it was you who stole my Ranchan's heart."
Akane sighed. "I wish that everyone could come out of this happy. But I was never able to figure out how."
"It would've been better if you let me have Ranchan and you took Ryoga," Ukyou suggested.
Akane shook her head. "I know you tried to get me and Ryoga together, but he could never be more than a friend. Especially now that I know he's also P-Chan."
"Damn," muttered Nabiki.
Ukyou looked shocked.
Akane scowled at Nabiki, promising herself to talk to her sister later.
"No chance of you changing your mind and calling off the wedding?" Ukyou asked.
"None," replied Akane, testily.
"It was worth a shot. Um, Is there anything I could do to help?" Ukyou wondered.
Akane gazed at her in thought. It might help her friend to get over Ranma if she was an important part of the wedding. "Well I was wondering if you could be my maid of honor?"
Ukyou's mouth dropped. "Me? Why?"
Akane grabbed the girl's hands. "Because you're one of my closest friends, and it would mean a lot to me."
"You want me to be your maid of honor? Despite the fact I've tried to take Ranchan from you and I helped destroy the last wedding attempt," Ukyou asked incredulously.
Akane nodded. "Yes, if Ranma can have Ryoga as his best man despite their past, why can't you be my maid of honor?"
"I... It would be an honor," Ukyou answered, not sure of the wisdom of her choice.
"Thank you," Akane smiled.
Another knock was heard at the semi-closed door. "Who is it?"
"Hello, Akane. It's been a long time," said the voice from the now open door.
"Grandma!" cried the three sisters.
"It has been a long time," said Akane.
Akane's grandmother hugged the bride-to-be. "How are you?"
"Scared mostly," Akane admitted.
"We all get scared before our own wedding. Getting married is about changing your relationship with someone you love. And it's human nature to fear change, even if, at the same time, we want it," the elderly woman told her.
Nabiki picked up a dress that was on Akane's bed and went over to Ukyou. She handed the dress over and whispered something. Ukyou left with the dress.
"Knowing that still doesn't help reduce my fears," Akane said.
The elderly woman nodded. "I know, but it helps confront them. I am concerned if it's wise to have the groom greeting guests at the gate, he might get cold feet decide to run off."
"Not likely. Ranma isn't one to run away from his obligations nor from fear," Akane firmly defended.
"Unless it's a cat," added Nabiki, earning an angry glare from her little sister.
The elderly woman blinked. "From a cat?"
Akane sighed. "It's a long story."
"Oh," the elderly woman replied. "Um, was the person that was just here a girl or a guy?"
Akane frowned. "Ukyou is a girl, she's just raised as guy."
"Does her date know that?" the elderly woman asked.
Akane laughed, "That would be Konatsu. He's a guy that was raised as a girl."
The elderly woman blinked again and commented, "You certainly know some interesting people."
Nabiki smirked. "You haven't really heard or seen anything yet."
They went into small talk and worked on getting Akane ready.
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The moment Ranma had been dreading most arrived in the form of an Amazon with purple hair and her great-grandmother.
"Hi, Shampoo," said Ranma, failing to sound enthusiastic.
"Hello. Here to see Ranma's wedding. Will cause no problems. Hope Ranma happy with violent girl," Shampoo muttered out.
Ranma stared at her. "Ah, thanks. And thank you for coming. I'm sure I'll be happy with Akane."
"Shampoo my love, I shall soon prove my worth to be your husband," elated Mousse to a nearby bush.
Shampoo responded with her bonbori to Mousse's skull.
"Come granddaughter, we don't want miss getting good seats," Cologne commanded.
"Can we trust them?" asked Ryoga.
Mousse shook his head as he tried to regain his senses and replied, "They cannot interfere now. While losing Ranma as a husband will cause loss of honor, stopping the wedding or hurting Akane can be severely punished because of her situation."
"What situation would that be?" asked Hiroshi as he and Daisuke entered the gate.
"I think Ranma hasn't been telling us everything that's been going on," commented Daisuke.
"Uh... he just means that we have admitted our love to each other, that's all," Ranma replied nervously.
Ryoga was confused. Mousse looked away.
"Right," Hiroshi and Daisuke drawled out, sounding completely unconvinced.
"Well it's nice to see ya here. The wedding is in the dojo, you better hurry for a good seat," Ranma suggested.
Ranma was worried that could be a problem as yet another unfamiliar couple entered the gate. A cold chill raced down his spine. The old guy looks too much like his father. He swallowed nervously. "Hi. I'm Saotome Ranma, can I help you?"
"So this is our grandson," stated the older man who stood almost as tall as Genma. He had a similar build, but was not nearly well fed and a lot more wrinkles.
"Hello, you might not remember us, but we're your grandparents," said the small woman.
A large bead of sweet formed on Ranma's head.
"Mom!" was heard from the other side of the wall. Genma and Soun appeared at the gate and carried a large box. "Tendo take the box in, and get Nodoka."
Soun nodded and ran into the house with the box.
"Still married to her?" asked Ranma's grandmother.
"O-of course I'm still married to her," replied Genma.
"I thought I trained you better than that. You shouldn't have married so young if you didn't mean to swindle the girl out of her family fortune," the elderly Saotome woman chastised.
"Excuse me?!" screeched Ranma. "What are you talking about?"
"You didn't even train your son in the ways of the quiet thief." Ranma's grandmother shook her head. She looked at him seriously. "My family is suppose to be trained in the art swindling others out of money. To rob potential suitors of all their worth before settling down."
"He certainly practiced it," chided Mousse.
"He has?" asked grandma Saotome with a bit of hope.
"Until recently he had three fiancees," Mousse replied.
"Shut up. I did not swindle them!" Ranma yelled.
"Could have fooled me," stated Ryoga.
"I hardly see free food as swindling them," snarled Ranma.
"The way you eat, I'd say it was," retorted Mousse.
"How about the practice of the noisy thief?" asked Genma's father.
"Noisy thief?" Ranma growled.
"You know the art of distracting the target and steal from them when they aren't paying attention," the elderly Saotome explained.
Ranma shook his head 'no,' while wondering what type of family he had when his grandparents were thieves.
Nodoka interrupted, "Ah... hello. It's, ah, good to see you again. Genma, why don't we show your parents to the dojo?" She guided them to the dojo while praying they didn't rob the Tendo home blind.>
Ranma closed his eyes and tried to regain some composure.
"H-hello Akari," Ryoga stuttered.
"Hi. It's good to see ya," Ranma said.
"Hello Ryoga, Ranma. I'm as excited as a pig at feeding time. I've never been to a friend's wedding before," Akari chirped.
"Well, now's your chance," Ranma said, grinning.
"Is there anything I could do to help?" asked Akari.
Ranma thumbed towards the door. "You can go upstairs and ask Akane and the others if they need help."
"Thanks," Akari said as she ran into the Tendo home, hoping to be a bridesmaid.
After seeing Akari vanish into the Tendo home, Ranma froze at the sound of insane laughter.
"Hello Ranma-sama, I hear you decided to marry that violent wench, Akane," Kodachi announced as she appeared at the gate with Sanzenin Mikado.
"I don't remember inviting either of you," Ranma growled.
Kodachi didn't seemed bother by his tone. "A minor oversight, I'm sure. Do not worry, I will not interfere with this wedding."
"And I'm just here as her date," added Mikado.
"You didn't bring Azusa, did you?" Ryoga asked.
"No, I left her at a toy store where the girl working there had the gall to slap me," Mikado replied.
"Poor girl," said Ryoga and Ranma, thinking of the store clerk.
"All right, you can be at the wedding. But do anything wrong and you'll be sent to the hospital. Understand?" Ranma threatened.
"Of course, Ranma-sama," Kodachi said.
"I am not one to cause problems," Mikado said.
"The wedding is in the dojo," Ranma said.
As Kodachi and Mikado left for the dojo, Ranma rolled his eyes at the sight of the next guest. "The sorrow of losing one's love is great. To loss her to evil is far worse," Kuno elaborated.
"Be quiet Kuno-sempai, or you'll miss the wedding," snarled Ranma.
"I shall not miss the wedding of Tendo Akane for any reason," Kuno retorted.
"Then go to dojo and wait," Ranma demanded.
Kuno glared at him for a moment before nodding in agreement. "For the sake of Tendo Akane, I shall do as you say."
"Jerk," mumbled Ranma.
"Aloha, Ranma," greeted the patriarch of the Kuno clan.
Ranma back away a little. "Hello, Principal Kuno. It's, ah, good that you could make it."
Principal Kuno grinned evilly. "I hope marryin' Akane will cure you of your delinquent ways."
"Fat chance of that," Ryoga remarked.
Ranma bit back a growl. "The wedding is in the dojo, please go there and wait." Once Principal Kuno was out of ear shot, he almost yelled, "I can't take much more of this."
"You don't have to. It's time to take your places. The wedding is about to begin," Nabiki announced from the doorway of the Tendo home. She held a stack of cards in her hand.
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Author's Note:
Thanks to David A Tatum, Byran Neef, the Rams, and Rea Konecki for helping with the original version of this chapter.
It has been noted that Ranma has a little practice in being a noisy thief. If you're a thief and someone asked if you were, would you admit it? Well, neither would Ranma. Especially when he's only done it to get food while training with his father or applied concepts of it into martial arts (Saotome Final Special Attack - Fake an attack, then Run Away!).