Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Insanity Continues ❯ The Week Drags On ( Chapter 19 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
The Insanity Continues

Volume 4 - One of Those Weeks

Chapter 3 - The Week Drags On

By: Lord Archive

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

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Everyone sat the Tendo household, eating dinner. There was an odd feeling in the air. Apparently something transpired between Ranma and Akane today to made him miserable and her very happy. He just sat there picking at his food. The times Genma attempted to take food from him was met with a cold stare that could freeze water.

"Come on Ranma, it's not a big deal. It's happened to me dozens of times," Akane said, grinning.

"Not to me it does. It should never be able to happen to me. That stuff should only happen to girls," Ranma retorted.

"You are a girl half the time," Akane reminded him, not sounding sympathetic at all.

The rest of their families stopped eating, intent to find out what happened.

"But I wasn't a girl at the time!" Ranma almost shouted angrily.

That caused a couple odd looks.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later, with all that crap that happens to you," Akane pointed out in an amused tone.

"How can I show my face in public now?" Ranma asked sadly.

"No one, but us, knows what happened," Akane added.

"And how long before she finds out and sells it to everyone." Ranma pointed at Nabiki.

"I'm wounded that you would think I'd sell information about you," Nabiki said sarcastically.

Everyone, including Kasumi, gave her a cold look.

"You know I'm going to find out, so tell me," Nabiki ordered.

Ranma returned to picking at his food.

Akane, however, was more than delighted to tell of the afternoon's events. "I was walking home, when..."

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"I have you now. I shall kill you for what you've done," intoned a rather large sumo wrestler.

Ranma was tied up with a large number of chains and could not move. "What did I ever do to you?" he spat out angrily.

"You stole my love, so I'll take her back after I dispose of you," the sumo wrestler retorted.

Ranma rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me, but just what are you doing with Ranma?" Akane asked angrily.

"Go away, bitch, while I remove this trash." The sumo wrestler didn't even bother to give her more than a second glance.

Akane glared, anger boiling over in her. How dare this guy not only insult her, but threaten her husband's life? She ran up at him and with a mighty leap, slammed her book bag into the sumo wrestler's head, knocking him out cold. She gave a satisfied nod that he was down for the count before she moved to take the chains off her shocked husband.

"How... did... I... must... a... hit... him... a thousand... times, and he... wasn't hurt," Ranma stammered.

Akane looked at the sumo wrestler. "Ever thought about hitting him in the head, where he has little fat to protect himself?"

Ranma blinked. He hadn't given that much thought.

Akane smirked. "Oh well, I guess it was my turn to save you."

Ranma grumbled something while his wife laughed.

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"So, let me get this straight," Nabiki began. "He's upset because..."

"I was the knight in shining armor and he was the damsel in distress," Akane finished, still grinning.

"You don't have ta rub it in," Ranma muttered.

"Yes, I do," Akane replied.

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"Well, Kuno-chan, if you want to fight so badly, now is your chance," Nabiki informed.

"But, my goddess, you know that the one I want to fight is Saotome. No one else can match our might," Kuno protested.

"What am I, the lunch special?" Mousse produced a fist full of kunai.

"You can be," Nabiki retorted. "Listen, Kuno-chan, if you can beat him, I'll let you spar with Ranma whenever you want."

Kuno grinned wickedly. This would be an easy fight. He charge toward victory.

Mousse dodge and landed a kick to Kuno's back. He then tossed the kunai, pinning the samurai-wanna-be's shirt to a wall.

Kuno snarled and pulled away from the wall, leaving most of his shirt behind. He slashed at his foe.

Mousse frowned and blocked with the training potty. He could write that move off for subduing Shampoo. If she lost her shirt, he'd get distracted and she would be pissed- his chances of winning would be gone.

Kuno growled angrily. He wanted to know how Mousse was able to match his divine speed. He was beginning to doubt his opponent was human, since when Mousse blocked- it didn't sound like he was was hitting flesh.

Nabiki frowned. This wasn't going how she hoped it would. But she had to admit, Kuno fighting without his shirt was certainly a bonus.

Mousse decided to move to the offensive. He leapt to the air and held back the urge to announce his attack. He pulled out a half dozen orbs from his shirt and launched them at his foe.

The bombs struck the ground around Kuno and cracked the cement ground as they exploded. Smoked enveloped him and he slashed wildly hoping to strike his opponent.

Mousse grinned as Kuno made enough noise. He launched two balls with rope attached from each sleeve.

Kuno was surprised as three ropes wrapped around his bokken and a fourth around his right arm. He became angrier at the thought that Mousse was attempting to disarm him. So, he put all his might into drawing back the wooden sword quickly.

Mousse was not prepared for such a move and was flung into the air. He crashed heavily into the ground, making a good size crater. He glared viciously at his opponent while he stood up.

Nabiki smirked evilly. "That's the end of round one. Take a minute to recover and we'll...."

While Kuno stopped to listen to her, Mousse nailed him in the head with the training potty.

Kuno shook his head and then stood up a good four meters from where he had been standing. "Such a dishonorable attack. This is no longer a sparring match, this is war!"

"Shut up and fight," Mousse growled. He leapt into the air and threw a large metal ball attached to a heavy chain.

Kuno dodged and continued to dodge as Mousse continued to throw the metal ball at him. He struck at the chain connected to the ball a few times, but he only succeeded in chipping his bokken.

Mousse knew he didn't want to use this technique on Shampoo, and doubted it would be effective on her since she was much faster.

Kuno noticed a beautiful girl at the end of the street with long glorious hair and vivacious curves. "Sweet nymph, stay away! Tis a bat-KLONG!-" He slumped to the ground and took a long nap.

Nabiki growled. "Sweet nymph indeed. Maybe that hit knocked some sense INto him."

Mousse grinned triumphantly. "I showed him."

Nabiki glared at the outcast. "Certainly did. That you have zero chance to defeat Shampoo."

"I disagree," Mousse replied disdainfully.

"I don't." Ranma hopped down from a nearby building. "You need a LOT more work than I thought. Akane has never lost to Kuno and Shampoo can defeat her in less than a minute. And the only reason you beat him was because you were trying to bash his brains in."

"What do you suggest, teacher?" Mousse asked sarcastically.

Ranma smacked him on the back of the head. "You need to work on accuracy. Kuno shouldn't have been able to dodge you."

"If Kuno is so poor, than how come you had to work to defeat me," Mousse mocked.

"Because, Duck Boy, that while Kuno could only dodge you, I was working past your defenses to defeat you. If I just wanted to dodge, you'd never hit me."

They were interrupted by a feminine voice asking, "Is he all right?"

"He's taken worse blows to the head than that one," Nabiki replied, glaring at the 'sweet nymph.'

Ranma looked at her strangely. He scratched his head trying to remember who she was. He then slammed his fist into his hand. "Tsubasa!"

"Yes?" the 'sweet nymph' questioned.

"You know her?" Nabiki asked. She wondered where she heard that name before.

"I doubt there is a girl this casanova doesn't know." Mousse glared at his teacher.

"He's not a girl," Ranma said flatly.

Mousse and Nabiki looked at Tsubasa questioningly and he nodded to their unvoiced question. He goggled since Tsubasa was wearing what appeared to be a form fitting yellow sun-dress.

Nabiki rolled her eyes, remembering who he was. Kuno would fall for a cross-dresser.

"What are you doing in town?" Ranma asked.

"This." Tsubasa held up a flier Nabiki had made and distributed advertising the opening of Ukyou's. "I thought I'd check up on my beloved Ukyou to find out why she would change the name of her restaurant. You dumped her, didn't you?"

"Not exactly," Ranma replied.

Nabiki smirked. "He knocked up my sister instead."

"Hey!" Ranma blushed.

"Didn't think you had it in you." Tsubasa turned to Nabiki. "Who's your sister."

"Akane," Nabiki answered simply.

"You did that to Akane? She's too nice to be stuck with a jerk like you," Tsubasa groused.

"Why do you care?" Ranma growled. "Aren't you here for your 'beloved' Ukyou."

"Just keeping my options open since Ukyou still might not be interested in me."

"You can bet on that," Ranma said smugly.

"Is she dating anyone?" Tsubasa asked.

"Nope," Ranma answered.

"For a modest fee, I can give you a list of potential rivals that are interested in Ukyou and her views on them." Nabiki held her hand out.

"How modest?" Tsubasa wondered.

"Two thousand yen should do it. It's a long list. I'll have it ready by the time Ukyou's opens tomorrow and I'll be here the entire evening," Nabiki offered.

"I'll have the money then." Tsubasa turned to leave.

Nabiki shrugged. "Ranma, do me a favor and take Kuno home."

Ranma almost did it, but stopped. "Mousse, you take him home."

"Why should I?" Mousse demanded.

"Because, I'm your teacher and I'm telling you too," Ranma ordered.

Mousse grumbled under his breath, "We'll see how much longer that'll last."

"How long will Tsubasa be in town?" Nabiki asked as she started to walk home with her brother-in-law.

Ranma shrugged."He's rather fickle. I doubt it'll be more than tomorrow."

"And then he'll go onto 'greener pastures,'" Nabiki guessed.

Ranma nodded.

Nabiki frowned. "Long enough to make Kuno act like a complete fool, though."

Ranma nodded again. "Sure you still want him as a boyfriend?"

"He does have his good points. Besides, this will insure that there will be little competition for him," Nabiki rationalized.

"Nabiki, you're the ONLY girl I know who wants him," Ranma pointed out.

Nabiki glared at him. "Fortunately, I'm better informed than you are."

"You still have lousy tastes," Ranma muttered.

Nabiki heard him, but choose to ignore it. She still couldn't completely understand why she liked Kuno. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. The day still came out as a plus for her. Mousse's attacks with the metal ball left the street in front of Ukyou's riddled with potholes. Now, the street would have to closed for repairs so only pedestrian traffic could use that street. As Nerima has very few personal cars, this is not a hindrance for people to attend the restaurant's reopening. It was the opposite, in fact, since that the street was closed they could set up tables outside for people to eat at. With Bosabosa Rentals supplying the table and chairs and some karaoke equipment to advertise their own business, the reopening would be a major event. While Tsubasa was an annoyance and since Kuno's injury was expected, they hardly detracted from her overall goal.

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Godai warily walked into room 2-E. He would rather be home without Kyoko than in this class, and that was saying something. The Saotome couple unnerved him. Akane was beyond rude and any attempts to correct her behavior was attacked by her over-protective husband.

Godai couldn't believe that two seventeen-year-olds would get married in this day and age. Nor could he believe how skilled Ranma was in martial arts. At least neither of them had numbers in their names. If Gosunkugi ended up at Maison Ikkoku, he'd feel sorry for Hikaru as the boy would end up where he was before Kyoko came into his life- in room five and stuck between Akemi and Yotsuya.

Godai shook his head and focused on the lesson he planned to teach. "Can anyone tell me why the French Revolution occurred?"

"The decadence of the monarchy," one student answered.

"The _perceived_ decadence would be more correct. While the French monarchy had largely forgotten the people they were suppose to serve, the level of neglect was likely exaggerated by those instigating the revolution. After all, it is the victor who writes history, not the loser. As such, it is the job of the historian to pick through the information left behind and find what is fact and what was placed there through mistake or what is an out-right lie. For example, most historians do not believe Marie Antoinette ever said, 'let them eat cake.'"

Akane wistfully thought of cake. It sounded beyond good to her. The moist, melt in your mouth, send you to heaven goodness of Kasumi's Angel Food Cake would be great to sooth her ravenous appetite. She could almost taste it.

The idea of eating the cake, however, caused her stomach to lurch and twist. She WANTED to eat the cake and yet the idea was nauseous to her. That should be contradictory or impossible, but that wasn't the case. The mother-to-be fought to keep the bile down.

Akane listen as the substitute continued to talk about how Antoinette might have said the famous quote. That if Antoinette had led a sheltered enough royal life, she might not even know that people have enough problems trying to buy bread, let alone cake.

Godai mentioned cake and bread one too many times as Akane lost her battle against morning sickness. She rushed toward the front of the room and grabbed the trash can. She threw up in it and then ran out of the room.

Most of the class looked very disgusted.

Godai was quite thankful Akane took the trash can with her. He then noticed that Ranma seemed relatively unconcerned that his wife threw up in the middle of class. "Saotome, is there something wrong with Akane?"

"Not really." Ranma had asked Dr. Tofu and Cologne if there were any problem, and they had said there weren't any.

Godai couldn't believe that response. "She just threw up in class."

"You get used to it after a while," Ranma groused, especially after Akane had thrown up on him a couple times.

Godai boggled. "How often does she throw up?"

Ranma shrugged. "A half dozen to a dozen times a day. Why?"

Godai couldn't understand this. Akane might have a serious problem if she's throwing up so often, not to mention the burping, farting, hunger attacks, and bathroom problems. He opened his mouth to ask Ranma if she had seen a doctor, but then realized what those systems could be caused by. "She's pregnant, isn't she?"

Ranma looked puzzled. "No one told you?"

Godai shook his head.

"Yeah, she's pregnant," Ranma informed.

"Oh, okay. Sorry." Godai felt like scum. He had bad mouthed Akane about being a delinquent to other teachers and at home. Of course being pregnant would be considered delinquency by some, so he wasn't completely off base. But he still felt like an idiot for not realizing this sooner considering it was part of his job to identify these problems and help the students with them.

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Author's note:

Actually, Ranma has played damsel in distress to Akane's knight in shining armor; however, other factors didn't make it as apparent to them (or at least Akane). This time she did notice, and she wasn't about to let Ranma live down she defeated someone he failed to beat.

Before I get attacked by people screaming, 'Mousse can beat Kuno is less time than that!'
Remember:
Mousse wasn't pushing himself as hard as if was fighting against Ranma.
Mousse was trying a couple new tricks he intends to use on Shampoo.
Kuno has had very little contact with Mousse during the entire manga run. His sticking to repeating forms of combat is not a weakness against someone who is functionally a first time opponents.

Also, if you're wondering about Mousse's strength, during manga volume 33 Mousse inadvertently went through an extreme strength training as he carried around a large stone statue that controlled Mousse into believing it was Shampoo.

Here is some of what I had planned to do had I not ran into issues with writing the story, be canon inaccuracies or the fact there was no driving cohessive plot. Some of what I had planned was put to use in 'Life of Chaos' which will be what I will start posting next.

I have not written anything beyond this point.

Chapter 4 (& 5?)- Welcome to Ukyou's!

-Ukyou reopens with fanfare provided by Nabiki.
-Ucchan fan club attempts to win over the chef.
-Kodachi and Gosunkugi on a date there. Reference Gos getting 'caught.'
-Ryoga returns.

Plot lines:
Nabiki drums up business for Ukyou's with Kuno's help.
Kodachi chasing Gosunkugi.
Suitors attempts to woe Ukyou.
Suitors attempts to beat Shampoo.
Akane dealing with 'Morning Sickness.'
Hinako chases after Soun.


Volume 5 - A Demon and a Spear
(Ushio and Tora - crossover)

Chapter 1
-Akane's volleyball team is up against Asoko's team.
-Ushio tagged along to help cheer Asoko along.
-Tora tagged along because he was bored.
-Ranma is bored while Akane got roped in coaching the volley ball team,
starts talking to Ushio sensing the magic in his spear.
(The history teacher is suppose to be the coach)
-Ranma sees Tora and freaks (Tora is a monster that looks like a tiger)
Tora knows about Nekoken and ROTFLHAO.
-A demon attacks and Tora initially defends Asoko and Akane, but then
joins the battle. Sends Ranma into Nekoken and they win.

Chapter 2
-Ranma and Akane has a little talk with the Ushio crew (minus Tora)
(point out similarities in Ushio's and Asoko's relationship and
Ranma's and Akane's.)

Chapter 3 or 4 Ushio verses Happosai.

Ushio knocked at Ranma's and Akane's door. Ranma answered it a minute
later and was greeted with the question, "What is this... thing?"

Ranma looked at what was hanging by its clothes from the tip of the
beast spear. "That's the ol' freak and 'master' of Anything Goes
Martial Arts. Excuse me a second." Ranma grabbed Happosai off the
spear and went over and opened his bedroom window and punted the old
lech into the night sky, yelling, "Don't come back!"

Happosai woke up when he was kicked and he knew that kick anywhere.
"Is that anyway to treat your master!?"

"You were never my master!"

Ranma's hip flared in pain as Akane punched him. "I don't get enough
sleep as it is and you just have to wake me up, Baka."

"Would you rather have the ol' lech running around?"

"I'd rather get some sleep, so shut up!"

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Taro looked at the diminutive figure warily.

"Let's say we go out and wreak havoc?" Happosai suggested to the
demon.

"You know, you look sort of like those golden chicken nugget." Taro
licked his chops.

Asoko grinned. "I'm sure he tastes like one too." What better way to
deal with a demon than to have another one eat it.

"Do you have to spoil ALL my meals?" Tora asked. Hamburgers he liked,
the grease balls that were called chicken on the other hand....

Volume 6 - A Night on the Town
Akane sets plans to go out on the town with the female Ranma cast, but
Ranma really doesn't like the idea. So, while the girls are away, the guys
will play. Ranma decides to go out with the guys.

Volume 7 Anything Goes Martial Arts Baseball.
Volume 8 Festival of Fun.
Volume 9 Girls Night Out 2, this time Ranma joins the girls. Plus: Finals!
End of junior year.

Volume 10 to 11+? School break.
Volume 12 Senior year begins.
Intro Kuno Shiono (Kuno's cousin), Lee Ving (a new Amazonin in town), and
a girl who takes Nabiki's place at Furinkan High.