Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Finding The Way Back ❯ Okaeri nasai ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

Author's note: I'd like to thank all those who took their time to read and review my story. Thanks!

A big thanks to Merith for beta-reading this chapter and for all her help and suggestions. If you like Inuyasha, you definitely should read her fics! She's an amazing writer!

*IMPORTANT*: This story completely disregards the existence of Seisouhen. As far as I'm concerned it never happened!

"..." indicates dialogues

'...' indicates thoughts

FINDING THE WAY BACK

Chapter two: Okaeri nasai

"Tadaima." Hearing a voice coming from behind the trees, Kaoru's arms stopped in mid-air. She knew instantly to whom that voice belonged. Her mind started racing with thoughts while good sense tried to convince her she was imagining things. It's been so long and the thought of him coming back was so constant, so needed that her mind had created it so many times to make her dream that he was back only to shatter the thought over and over. Was it really him this time?

Her arms frozen in the act of reaching her son, she turned her head towards the voice's source. Time stopped and her heart skipped a beat, only to start beating faster afterward. There he was, standing there just like she remembered him. The heavy wind failing miserably in its attempt to take him away, only slightly sweeping his hair and clothes. She regarded him carefully for a moment, he had his long red hair pulled in a tight low ponytail and was wearing a blue gi and white hakama. When her eyes met his violet ones she briefly wondered if they had always been that bright.

Despite the many times she had pictured his homecoming, she found herself unable to speak. Kaoru fought to put her thoughts back on track and stay calm. The sudden idea she had to say something came rushing to her and she said the only words that could match his.

"Okaeri nasai."

As the words registered in his brain, those very words he was expecting to hear, he felt a sudden joy wash over him. She was welcoming him home. He saw her approaching and his heart pounded faster. Kenshin allowed himself to act impulsively, not caring they were in a public place or about Sanosuke's presence, he stepped forward and hugged her. For reassurance maybe, he wasn't sure, he just had to do that. All that mattered at that point was the fact he had her in his arms and he wouldn't let her go too soon.

They stood there for some time, with him holding her and the soft wind's breeze rustling on them, providing a fresh good awareness and a moment to keep. Kenshin held her so tight she herself couldn't return the hug. Her arms trapped, Kaoru remembered of another time he had held her that way. A sad time when he had said goodbye to her in the middle of a night enlightened by fireflies. This time, however, he had returned home.

Kaoru felt his breath on her ear and couldn't help the faint blush crossing her face. It felt odd to have such timid reaction caused by him after everything they've been through. Then again it also felt a little awkward to be held that way. Kaoru reproached herself for feeling like that, it was ridiculous since they were married and those were moments usually shared by wives and husbands yet everything seemed so far from real. And she couldn't help but fear that maybe time had played its dices with them.

"I'm sorry koishii" Kenshin whispered, bringing her back from her reverie.

She signed and closed her eyes, still lost in his embrace. "K-Kenshin, why? Wha-?"

"For being away for so long. For leaving you and Kenji. For not being worthy," he said in a tiny voice.

"It's ok. You're back now" she replied, no emotion discerned from her words, just the plain comfort he needed.

Loosening herself a little from his strong embrace, Kaoru searched his eyes, a tentative smile lit up her face, "I'm glad you're back, we all missed you."

When her warmth began to wrap around him, he felt her pulling away; turning in his arms, Kaoru looked for their son, "Kenji, come to say hi to your father."

Reluctantly Kenshin let her go. Aware of Kenji's presence, he needed to face him. His gaze fell on the child who was still sitting on his best friend's shoulder. Kenshin tried to read his son's expression and his heart twisted painfully at what he found. To Kenshin's smile, the kid's only response was a blank face in return. Kenji childish eyes for a moment lost all the vividness, turning into something Kenshin was afraid to determine. His three years child was looking at him as if he were a complete stranger.

Sano broke the silence that had suddenly fallen upon them, "Oi little brat go talk to your dad," he scolded putting the child down back on the ground, one hand coaxing the boy towards Kenshin.

The little boy hesitated for awhile but seeing his mother's stern look at him, he walked forward stopping a few feet away from the red haired man. Kenshin couldn't help the warmhearted smile as he watched his son. Kenji looked so brave for one who was so small. He bent and hugged the child to him.

"I missed you, Kenji. I'm so sorry." Kenshin said in a small voice.

Kenji scrunched his face and fought to be free of the older man's arms. He ran to his mother and hugged himself into one of her legs, effectively hiding his face in the fabric of her kimono. His childlike reaction brought a smile on everyone's face.

"Hey Kenshin, glad to see ya man!" Sano said, approaching Kenshin, hands in his pockets.

"So am I, Sano. When did you come back?" Kenshin turned to his friend, lips still curved into an amused smile.

"Only a month after you left." Kaoru answered, looking down at her son. She ran a hand through his hair, encouraging him to look up. The only response she got was a small grumble of disagreement as Kenji buried his face deeper into the cloth of her kimono.

"I even considered going to help you with those scumbags but thought you'd want me to stay and look after things here for ya." Sano said grinning, taking a quick look at Kaoru and Kenji.

Kenshin followed Sanosuke's line of vision and his eyes also fell on his family; comprehension was drawn to him, he knew Sanosuke meant he'd rather stay and watch over Kaoru and Kenji. Kenshin nodded thankfully, returning his friend's grin.

"We must get going. You must be tired and hungry, Kenshin." Kaoru intervened.

"Don't worry, Kaoru-dono. Sessha is just too happy for being back."

"What! Still with the dono? You married her, had a son with her and didn't drop the dono! Amazing!" Sano shouted, rubbing the back of his neck, a look of pure disbelief on his face.

"Sano! You're such an idiot sometimes!" Kaoru scolded, blushing furiously.

Kenshin just laughed, but the smile soon died as he watched his wife. A sudden wave of desire passed through him as his eyes lingered on Kaoru and he remembered of another name he used to call her during their most intimate moments. Yes, he had missed her and he loved seeing her angry like that. Kenshin drew near her and hugged Kaoru from behind, hiding his smirking face into the curve of her neck. "Calm down, koishii. Let's go home. I've missed you," he whispered in her ear, giving emphasis to the endearment so she would know what he meant.

"A-alright." Kaoru stammered her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red. She didn't remember of him being so bold. Well, at least not in front of others.

"Come here, Kenji-chan. Let's give your mom and dad some time alone." Sano said. Picking Kenji up, he sat the boy back on his shoulder and started moving.

Kenshin took hold of Kaoru's hand and pulled her along, following Sanosuke along the way back to the dojo; back home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After they had come back to the dojo, Kaoru insisted for Kenshin to go get some rest. Politely he declined it, stating he had a lot of rest during the journey back home, which, of course, was a lie and she knew it. However she said nothing against it, opting to offer arranging something for him to eat before night dragged out further on.

Kenshin was going to argue with it again, for all he wanted was to talk with her, there were so many things he had to clear out; sure lunch and sleep could wait. But to his amazement he was cut off by Sanosuke who offered Kaoru his assistance. Kenshin was sure that, in middle of his confusion, he had let out a very much shocked "oro", or at least he thought he had as his eyes darted from his wife to his friend. There it was something he never imagined he would hear from Sanosuke Sagara, to nicely offered help with cooking, an ordinary house chore! But, well his friend never stopped to amaze him and Kenshin knew that despite all that pose of tough and lonely guy Sano put on every time, the former gangster had always willingly helped people no matter what.

Therefore, after the initial shock and a couple of hours filled with yelling and objects being thrown in the kitchen, dinner was ready and all dojo's occupants were sitting at the table listening to Kenshin's latest adventure.

"So you wound up in China?!" Sano shouted through a mouthful.

"I should have gone with you Kenshin. You have no idea how boring it is to train those students." Yahiko said disdainfully, shaking his head to emphasize his derision.

"Well at least they're paying and some of them are really promising. Besides they come here to learn, Yahiko!" Kaoru told him off across the table.

"Tsc… if you ask me the price is not at all fair for they get to learn from Yahiko Myoujin!" The teenager boy said, one thumb pointing proudly at himself.

A deep silence fell about the room before a burst of laughter could be heard, most coming from Sanosuke and Kaoru. Kenshin was just smiling amused mainly due to the other two outbursts and Kenji was pretty much laughing of Yahiko's infuriated face.

"Oh, mighty swordsman, please have mercy of us mortal ones." Sano mocked, he tried accentuating the words but failed miserably as he laughed all through it. Calming down a little, he added, "Hey can you see us from that height? Get down and join us!"

"Shut up, rooster head! You always take ugly's side anyway." Yahiko shouted back.

"Well, that's because when it comes to you I'm always right! And frankly Yahiko, lately your ego has taken dangerous proportions!" Kaoru scolded him, shaking her head.

"Yeah…" Sano agreed. "Not to mention I'm a guest at her house, Yahiko-ch-"

"Don't start it! You can always have your longhouse back, that good-for-nothing place full of rats!" the young samurai retorted exasperated, getting up.

"You're the one who wanted to move out, Yahiko." Kaoru pointed out and Kenji, sitting on her lap, nodded his agreement.

"…which reminds me I have to go! Good to see you again, Kenshin." Yahiko said, turning away to leave.

He had already reached the gates when he heard Kenji's childish voice, "Yaiiko's leaving 'cause he has a date with Tsubame-chan, right uncle Sano?"

"SHUT UP, brat! Gees, even the brat now…" Yahiko's protests could still be heard before slowly faded as he walked off.

"That was a good one, Kenji-chan!" Sanosuke said, smiling and nodding his approval to Kenji who just sat on his mother's lap laughing happily.

"Now, Sano! Stop teaching him this kind of behavior!" Kaoru reprimanded.

"Look who is talking! Hey Kenshin, I hope it's ok with you, ya know, for me to stay here," Sanosuke's voice held a hint of hesitation; he glanced at Kaoru shortly before settling his eyes on the red haired man's face.

"Of course, if it's ok with Kaoru-dono then sessha is more than happy to have you here with us. And it doesn't make sense to look for a place to move in if you don't intend to stay to long, that it doesn't. When are you planning on resume to your travel around the world, Sano?" Kenshin asked nonchalantly, taking another bite of food.

"Oh! Yeah…about that…" Sanosuke was cut short by a child weeping that drew everyone's attention.

"Mommy, what's he talking about? Why is uncle Sano leaving?" Kenji's small crying voice filled up the room; his eyes sparkling with tears, glared at Kenshin.

"He's not going anywhere Kenji, right Sano?" Kaoru intervened quickly.

"Yeah. Don't worry!" Sanosuke backed her up, trying to reassure the little one. "As I was saying I think I'll stay here, Kenshin. I had enough of traveling."

"Sano has a job, Kenshin! He works with Tsukioka-san, kind of collecting information for the newspaper." Kaoru said with a smile, looking at Sanosuke and then turning her eyes back to Kenshin.

"Oro!? Sano has a job…really?" Kenshin sounded completely taken aback.

"Hey! It can't be that hard to believe so you don't have to bulge your eyes like that!" Sanosuke barked annoyed.

Kenshin never meant to offend his friend but the fact Sanosuke had a job and had decided to stay in Tokyo was indeed very surprising and would make anyone that knew the tall man to at least stare at him with wide open eyes. Kenshin could tell, only after a few hours he had spent with his friend, Sanosuke seemed to have changed a great deal. Even with the jokes and the remains of his gangster attitude, Sanosuke sounded more responsible and mature, especially around Kenji. And along with that last thought, Kenshin couldn't help the little hint of envy he felt against the other man, the image of his desolate son at the mention of his uncle's departure replayed on his mind, surprising him again.

'Well I can't expect the same treatment being as absent in Kenji's life as I've been. He is my child though, and I will find a way to his heart, that I will.' Kenshin's attention drew to Kenji and he smiled tenderly at the boy's transparent contentment, sitting on his mother's lap, he eagerly rocked his suspended little legs as he ate. He looked so grown up. Then it hit him, Kenji's birthday, he missed it but he hasn't forgotten about it. Walking to a corner of the room, where he had left his sack, his hands started to look for something inside.

When he finally found it, an open smile curving his lips, he had everyone's attention on him.

"Here!" He exclaimed pulling a medium package out of his bag. Kenshin walked back to the table and held the package out to Kenji whose eyes were widened in surprise.

"I'm sorry for missing your birthday, Kenji-chan. But I brought you a present. Here, take it." He said cheerfully handing the package to his son.

The little boy gaped at his father suspiciously, his little brows knitting together. Then he looked up to his mother as if asking her what to do.

Seeing the kid's hesitation, Kaoru grabbed the present and smiled down at her puzzled son. "Don't you wanna see what your dad brought to you? I'll help you to open it," she offered, setting the box over his lap. With her hands over his little ones she coaxed him to open it, revealing a black wooden horse. It was obviously a Chinese piece, very well worked and very beautiful.

Kaoru lifted her head, her eyes meeting her husband's and she gave him a warm smile, glad he had remembered his son's taste. "Look Kenji-chan, what a beautiful horse."

"I don't want it." Kenji said dryly, his face shadowed by his bangs.

"Didn't you like it, Kenji-chan?" Kenshin asked, brows drawn together in concern.

"What ya talking about, brat! You love horses…for some reason." Sanosuke cried out.

"Sano's right, Kenji. Remember that time you ran after one? You made me really worried." Kaoru said, nodding her head.

Kenji got up of his mother's lap abruptly, leveling his eyes to glare to all of them. "Well, don't like it anymore. Stupid animals." He shouted, anger tainting his innocent features. He threw the object roughly back to Kenshin before storming out to his bedroom.

Like the others, Kaoru stared at her retreating son, surprise crossing her face. Kenshin drew her attention when he motioned to go after Kenji. Gently, she placed a hand over his shoulder stopping him. "Let me go talk with him. You need to get some rest," Kaoru coaxed him. Picking up the discarded gift, she walked after the child.

"Kenshin," she called from the corner of the hall.

"Yes?" Kenshin's voice inquired.

"You know…he'll need some time…" her voice wavered and drifted off. 'We both will'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kenshin laid on his futon but as hard as he tried the needed rest wouldn't come. Not when his mind was in a rush with thoughts he'd rather not venture further on, at least for that moment in time. He remembered Kenji's reaction not long ago. Yes, there was anger in his eyes, but also there was something deeper, stronger. Hurt. He had hurt his child, a boy of only three years. Too young to understand or care about his father's sins and frequent absences.

He couldn't say he was surprise though. He knew it would be a hard task to be allowed back in his son's life. But still to accept it was not easy and he tried not to let that incident get him down. He had been back for only one day after all and couldn't expect to have his life the way it had been six months ago. It wasn't fair with them.

His mind was drawn to Kaoru and her reaction, that one for sure, had surprised him. In the past she would always welcome him with a warm embrace, with or without the presence of other people despite her shyness. Considering the extensive period he had been away this last time he would even expect her to be seriously mad at him, in fact he was even waiting for her to yell furiously at him. However what he found, the indifference and vagueness so uncharacteristic of her along with the lack of response made his brows drew together in speculation. When she saw him back on the river he noticed something in her eyes he chose to ignore at that point. Whereas then, he had taken her hesitation as sign of surprise, he now knew there was more to it, she seemed to struggle with herself deciding what she should do.

He shifted restless on the futon, thinking about their walk back to the dojo. Even when they were walking side by side, almost alone, her behavior had been so accurate and so controlled. Kaoru had shown worry towards him, as expected. She had asked the most obvious question, such as how he was, if he was hurt, if the battle had been too hard. She tried, he noticed, to keep him focused on details of the battle and such as if to avoid talking with him about her or Kenji. About how their life had been during the time he was away. And when he asked her about those kinds of things she would quickly change the subject or give a monosyllabic answer in return. Or even worst, Sanosuke would step in suddenly and tell him a pointless story.

He would have to talk with her to see what was wrong. If she would at least come to their bedroom already! Kenshin knew she was with Kenji, that's probably the only reason of why he didn't drag her there. He wanted to wait for her so they could talk but, little by little, he felt drowsiness taking the best of him. His eyes slowly closing, he let out a yawn when he heard the door slid open.

"Koishii" he murmured.

"Yes. Are you comfortable? Can I get you another blanket?" Kaoru asked truthfully worried.

"I'm fine. It would be much better if you were here with me though." Kenshin said, eyes closed and a mischievous smile on his face.

Kaoru kneeled next to him, "O-oh I can't. I promised Kenji I would tell him a story. I just thought I should check on you first."

One eye cracked open to study her. Seeing the concern on her face, Kenshin decided to save the talking for the next day.

"Alright." He agreed but when she motioned to move away he stopped her, holding her by one arm.

"Kenshin?" she stammered confused.

"It's just that sessha always sleeps better when you're close. Would you mind staying for a minute?" Kenshin's tone was low and tentative.

He saw her hesitation again, but she smiled so warmly at him that he chose not to think about its meaning. Sitting on the futon, Kaoru gently placed his head resting on her lap. As sleep was taking over him, she ran her fingers through his hair. She loved his hair, so soft and so beautiful. A sudden rush of sadness came over her, tears already forming in her eyes, she pondered 'How long until you leave us again, Kenshin?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaoru closed the door shut behind her. She walked towards Kenji's bedroom so distracted she only noticed the large dark frame after colliding with it.

"Ouch!" She exclaimed rubbing her forehead.

"Pay more attention to your steps!" a gruff voice scolded her.

"Sano! What are you doing, walking around like a ghost? You scared me! And keep you voice down, Kenshin's sleeping." Kaoru whispered, her eyes narrowed trying to see him through the darkness.

"Ok. Have you talked with him?" Sano asked, trying really hard to keep his voice in a low tone.

At his question, Kaoru dropped her head and remained silent, lazily drawing circles with her toes on the floor.

"So…? Have you?" Sano prodded.

Still choosing silence, she shook her head.

"You know you have to, don't you?" Sanosuke expressed, his voice took a very serious tone. At her stubborn silence, he added, "He's your husband, Kaoru. He has the right to know."

This time he heard a soft sobbing and could see through the weak moonlight the tears sparkling in her eyes. Stepping forward, she leaned her head on his arm. Feeling teardrops through the material of his jacket, he tried to comfort her, "Damn, I'm sorry, Kaoru." His other arm wrapped around her slim from, bringing her close.

"He just came back today, you know." She said emphatically, making it sound like an excuse.

"Yeah…but sooner or later, you'll have to tell him." He repeated, this time his voice was more soothing and he ran a hand over her hair. He hesitated before asking, "Do you… want me to talk with him?"

Kaoru reacted brusquely at his offer, shoving herself away from him and stumbling backwards, she stared at his face a little terrified. Completely forgetting to hold her voice in a low tone, Kaoru nearly squeaked, "NO!"

"Shhh! If you keep yelling like that he won't have any problem in finding it out for himself!" Keeping a finger on his own mouth, Sanosuke warned her.

Kaoru exhaled soundly, trying to calm down a little. Her voice was back to a low level when she spoke next, "Sorry! I just don't… Sano, promise me you won't say a word to him. Promise me, please!"

Hesitating a bit, Sanosuke regarded her thoughtfully. "Ok…I won't say anything. Anyway, I was just trying to help. I know how hard it will be for you."

"Yes but it's something I'll have to do by myself, ok?" At his nod she relaxed and turned away. "I'll better check on Kenji now. Good night, Sano" she whispered over her shoulder, casting him one last look.

'Good night, Kaoru…' Sighing, Sanosuke watched her go before leaving to his room as well.

~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~To be continued.

Thanks for reading.

Okaeri nasai: Welcome back.