Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Memories in Kyoto ❯ My Beloved ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin because I just don't.

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My Beloved

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Kaoru watched Kenshin worryingly. He wasn't usually like this. She had noticed that Kenshin had been extremely distracted. Maybe it had something to do with coming back to Kyoto… She sighed. Maybe he was still thinking about his battle with Shishio and everything that has happened. She put her hand to her chin. Just Shishio or… something more? Was Kenshin remembering all the times in Kyoto? Back to even the Revolution? That was so long ago… Why does he still hang on? How come he's stuck there in his bitter memories unable to cherish and live the ones he has now? Why doesn't he move on? She stared at the ground. That boy… Rae. He looked so much like Kenshin! It's hard not to think that they weren't father and son! But then again… Anything was possible.

Kenshin stood unmoving from his spot. The boy had already disappeared into the crowd. He clenched his teeth. Why did he care so much about a boy he didn't even know? Why did he feel such a strong tie to him? How did this boy know the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu? So many questions yet no answers. He heaved a sigh. Well, there was always time to find these answers later… At the moment, he just wanted to leave it all behind and forget. Forget the past… everything. Somehow, despite this order to himself, he still felt the heavy memories weigh on his mind.

"Himura!" He turned to the voice, seeing Misao. She looked rather smug, her lower lip slightly up. "We have to run some errands before we get back to the Aoiya, is that okay?"

"That's fine," he replied. Misao smiled and nodded, motioning for everyone to follow. They walked around town, buying, selling, and bargaining goods. Kenshin remained silent all the while, waiting for their trip back to the Aoiya.

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Kenshin sighed. They were walking back to the Aoiya now. He shivered. It was extremely cold that night. The stars glowed as bright as the crescent moon, visible against the dark sky. He felt comforted by the beautiful sight. Autumn was the time for the Cherry Blossom trees to go in full bloom and wonderful starry nights. So breathtaking. The sky was never like this during the Revolution. It was always blood-red, even the moon. These now peaceful streets were littered with bodies, slaughtered and throw to the side like meat. Red rivers flooded Kyoto, often giving him a headache at the overpowering stench. He flinched, pushing such memories far into his mind. They would not go, still playing over and over again. He saw a moving figure in the dark, quick and invisible. The only thing that could be seen was the glow of amber eyes. He remembered amber eyes. His amber eyes and… that boy, Rae. He had such eyes. Not many did. They were a symbol of a darker side, one that threatened to overwhelmed their mind, body, and soul. He knew this feeling all to well.

They arrived to the Aoiya, taking Kenshin once again out of his recollections. He shook his head. Now he had to be careful. Remembering such dark times would worry his friends, especially Kaoru. She was already beginning to suspect something. It is not soon before the others do to.

"I HATE YOU, OLD MAN!!!" a voice shouted.

Kenshin blinked. What was that? The others also had faces of surprise, wondering what it could possibly be. They rushed in frantically, quickly flipping off their sandals at the front door. They looked around, searching for the source of the voice. The gang split up, looking in every room.

Yahiko made his way to the inner quad, scanning his surroundings. He said nothing, gaping at what he saw. Misao passed the hallway that led to the quad, seeing Yahiko. She gasped, watching the sight in front of her. She called for Aoshi and Kenshin as well as the rest of them. They all stepped out to where Yahiko was, watching.

A red-haired boy was on a rock ledge that extended out from the mountain side that the Aoiya was built next to. He was balanced on one hand, beads of sweat sliding down his face. His face was tense and tired, apparently taking no liking to what he was doing. His violet eyes watched a tall man who stood below, who in turned watched him. His hair was long, tied into a thin ponytail. His face was set with a smirk. Okon and Omasu immediately recognized him.

"Hiko-sama!" they cheered in unison. He turned to them, his smirk growing into a grin. They ran to him, admiring his physique and style. The boy known as Rae clenched his teeth. That old man!

"YOU OLD GEEZER!!!" he yelled, pushing off on his hand. He leapt down, kicking Seijuro in the head. "PAY ATTENTION!!!"

Kenshin stared. It was the boy from earlier! Except… the Rae at the restaurant was much more polite and this one was… not.

"Watch the hair, you stupid apprentice!" Seijuro retorted, towering over Rae. Kenshin remained silent, still observing the odd sight. Apprentice?

"YOU'RE the one who better watch it!" Rae yelled back. "OLD MAN!!!" he added.

This was strange. They all watched as Seijuro and Rae began a shouting match, calling each other stupid apprentice and old man. Seijuro looked over to the group, spotting Kenshin. He smirked. Kenshin saw. This wasn't good.

"Hello, my stupid apprentice!" he addressed Kenshin. Kenshin twitched. He always knew the right words to say. It's been a while since he heard that.

"Hello, Seijuro," he replied, silently reminding Seijuro that they were no longer master and pupil. He smiled, trying hard not to whack Seijuro with his sheath. Somehow, he acted more like Yahiko when around his former master.

"Stupid apprentice number 1 meet stupid apprentice number 2," Seijuro introduced Kenshin to Rae. The boy twitched irritably. That geezer…

Rae, suddenly realizing that there were more people, straightened and smiled. He bowed to Kenshin. Kenshin smiled politely, seeing now the Rae he saw at the restaurant. He was probably only like this around strangers…

"Nice to meet you… uh…" he began, unable to finish due to the fact that he didn't know Kenshin's name.

"Kenshin. Himura Kenshin," he replied. Despite already knowing Rae's name, he asked so as not to cause suspicion. "And you are…?"

"Yukishiro Rae," he said, answering Kenshin's question. He bowed again. Kenshin gasped. Yukishiro? His mind rushed back to the Revolution. A raven-haired woman smiled at him, standing in the forest against a winter wonderland. Snow covered the ground, tucking in the signs of autumn with its white blanket. Tomoe… He swallowed nervously. That was impossible… He closed his eyes, forcing himself to bow in formality. How? Who was he?

"You were the boy we saw at the Ryotei," Kaoru pointed out. Rae cocked his head to one side.

"Boy?" he asked. "I'm not sure what you mean…" He laughed nervously. "I'm pretty sure that I'm not a boy…" Everyone watched in awe. Kenshin's eyes immediately changed into a hard violet. What was he talking about?

Sano's mouth dropped. "You're not… a boy?"

Rae shook his head. "Nope, I'm pretty sure that I'm a girl."

They gawked at Rae. Unbelievable. How…? Wha….? So he was a she! Rae cleared her throat. "Why did you think I was boy?" she asked.

All looked at the ground, embarrassed. Yahiko kept watching her with incredulity. A girl? So strong? Seijuro scoffed, punching Rae on the back of the head. She groaned, giving him a glare.

"I'm not surprised. You act like a boy so it's kind of hard for people to not mistake you for one," he commented, snickering. She growled, kicking him in the shin.

"Watch your tongue, you wrinkly old prune," she warned.

Misao still didn't believe it. A girl? Aoshi was awed, his eyes widened. But, the boy at the restaurant fought so well! Surely, this was a joke. Wife and husband looked at each other, both silently agreeing that it was quite the surprise.

Seijuro groaned, pointing to the rock ledge. Rae crossed her arms, her eyes gleaming with fierce defiance.

"Go," he ordered. At first, she made no move, only tapping her foot. Seijuro narrowed his eyes threateningly. Finally, she went, muttering some words that sounded like sword and geezer. She climbed the ledge, propping herself on one hand and balancing herself. "Good. Now don't come down until I say so."

"WHAT?!" she yelled, tensing at her numbing hand. She knew if she moved now, the old man would have her start all over. Against her deepest desires to go down there and teach him a lesson, she remained in that spot, her body quivering. When she got down, oh boy, that old man was in for it.

Kenshin locked his gaze on her. Yukishiro… He saw Rae tense up again, moaning softly at the pain that shot up her arm. He furrowed his brow. Since when did Seijuro start taking in girl apprentices? He sighed. Suddenly, he felt a weight on his shoulder. He turned, seeing Seijuro. His former master smirked, motioning him into the Aoiya. Kenshin nodded, following without hesitation. Who was she? Why is she with Seijuro? How? So many questions… he would find the answers.

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They sat in the lounge of the Aoiya around a table. Okon and Omasu went to the kitchen, returning with tea and sake for Seijuro. Kenshin said nothing, only sipping his tea in silence. He stared at the ground. Why? Why now? This Yukishiro girl was too much of a coincidence. Why have him relive his memories and heavy his burden? Maybe this was Kami-sama's way of having him repent for his sins. Too have him experience it again. The past, the pain, the memories. He shut his eyes tightly. How he wished he had never come to Kyoto! If he had only known the hurt that awaited him here, he would have stayed in Tokyo. Away. Far away.

But then again… He opened his eyes. This was a time to find the answers to his questions. He looked at Seijuro who was sipping his sake silently.

"Seijuro…" he began. How would he approach this? "Who… When did you start taking in girl students?"

Seijuro sighed, putting his sake cup down. A frown was set on his face, his eyes sad and full of worry.

"Rae just kind of dropped into my lap," he replied. Kenshin nodded, signaling him to continue. He sipped his sake. Kenshin cocked his head to one side. All said nothing, only watching the conversation unfold before them.

"How's that?" Kenshin asked. Seijuro downed his sake, having Okon pour him some more.

"Well, her mother died," he said plainly. Kenshin clenched his teeth. How could he say that so callously? Didn't he care? Seijuro looked at his former pupil. "What's it to you?"

Kenshin swallowed nervously. "I just thought… You said after me, you wouldn't take anymore apprentices." He paused, drinking his tea. "How long has she been with you?"

"Hmm," Seijuro said, swishing the sake in his mouth. "She's been with me for quite a while. Long before your battle with Shishio."

Kenshin put his hand to his chin. "How come I didn't hear of her?" he continued, determined to find out what was going on.

"You never asked," Seijuro replied. Kenshin sighed. Somehow, Hiko Seijuro never gave a straight answer no matter how plainly he asked. He watched the man sip his sake. Well, it wouldn't hurt to give it one more try.

"What about her last name?" he interrogated. Seijuro watched his former apprentice with caution. Kenshin usually wasn't so curious… Just to humor him, he answered.

"What about her last name?" he asked, drinking his sake. Kenshin left it at that. No one, even his master who knew him best, knew about his past. "Why? Does it mean something?"

Kenshin stood up suddenly, amber specks dotting his violet eyes. He glared at Seijuro, a death glare. The man showed no fear, only staring back. Kenshin clenched his fists. How dare he insult the name of Yukishiro!

"Excuse me," he said, walking out of the room. Seijuro narrowed his eyes. Kenshin never glared at him in such a way. Somehow, his former pupil had some sort of connection to the name, Yukishiro. But how? He knew nothing of Kenshin's past only knowing that he was the legendary manslayer, Hitokiri Battousai. Apparently, his past is coming back to haunt him.

"Kenshin…" Kaoru watched Kenshin go, fear in her eyes. What was wrong with him? The Kenshin she knew was never like this. He never had such a look in his eyes. It frightened her. She was sure that Yahiko and Sanosuke must be worried too as well as Misao, Aoshi, and everyone else. They were all worried. Kenshin barely talked now, almost as if he was letting his mind wander somewhere. Kenshin…

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Kenshin stepped outside, quickly slipping on his sandals and briskly strode to the front entrance of the Aoiya. Seijuro would never understand. He never will. He will never be able to carry the burden of deaths and sorrow. No, only he could. No one understood him. No one. Except for… Tomoe. She always knew what he was thinking. She was his sheath; she was his angel. No one could replace her. He closed his eyes tightly. He knew he still loved her. His heart belonged to her and no one else. He didn't care if she was gone from this world but she would always be alive in his memories. Always. His mind wandered to the past, remembering bitter cold and the smell of white plum. Raven hair and a soft smile… Blood flooded his thoughts, enveloping his memory in a sea of red. Her image was washed away, leaving only a barren land of nothingness. He was alone now. He had no one.

Something tugged at his mind. It was a comforting presence in his thoughts, such relief to the emptiness that he felt. No, he had someone. Blue eyes sparkled and a familiar giggle echoed. Yes, he did. Kaoru. She was so naïve yet strong. He admired her determination and beauty. But… he was unworthy of her. He committed so many sins and caused so much sorrow. His soul was tainted with blood, the blood of both the innocent and guilty. The blood of his beloved Tomoe. He was afraid to love again, to live again. It only ended in pain and guilt. Nothing more. Maybe it was a sign that he was never meant to love, only to kill and bleed. During that time, he was but a tool to the government. Now, he was just a rurouni. He wandered forever, not staying in any place for long and forced to bear the weight of his bloody past and painful memories.

Kenshin opened his eyes. Where was he going? He looked around, recognizing the buildings and cherry blossom trees. He looked to his right, seeing a small area of barren earth. Tombstones stood, some casting long shadows and others shaded by an overhanging branch of pink petals. It was a cemetery. He knew who's grave was there. He walked slowly, remembering the last time he came here. It was right after his battle with Shishio. It rained on that day, beating down on Kyoto in heavy drops. Seijuro had come with him, though he knew not of who Kenshin visited.

He looked straight ahead, seeing a single tablet of stone with inscribed Kanji: Yukishiro Tomoe.

Kenshin sighed, kneeling in front of it. He ran his fingers over the carved stone, reading her name over and over again. How he missed her. His Tomoe. He put his hands together, putting them up to his chin. He prayed for her, his undying love and guilt. A soft breeze blew through the trees, causing the petals to fall and dance in the wind. He watched the Sakura blossoms swirl and fly elegantly over his head.. How beautiful. One of them, full in bloom, landed in his hand. He watched it as it twirled in his hand ever so gracefully. The wind blew again, rustling his kimono. Kenshin nodded as if he understood the silent message of the waft. He placed the flower onto her grave, handling it with care and love. He smiled. Since he had returned to Kyoto, he never truly smiled… until now. He felt at peace, in his place.

Kenshin stood, going around the tombstone. He sat behind it. Carefully, he leaned against it and looked up at the sky. It was so clear, devoid of any clouds. He liked this sky. So wonderful. He sighed, closing eyes and resting his head against the cool surface of stone. His mind drifted away into his own world where he often contemplated on his life in the past and present.

Wow. He thought. How long has it been? About four years? I've been doing fine. Maybe you're wondering why I'm in Kyoto right now. Well, Misao, Aoshi, and the rest of the Aoiya gang wanted us to come visit them. Who knew? Aoshi and Misao are husband and wife! It took everyone by surprise. He sighed. Things were not just changing in Kyoto though but in Tokyo as well. Yahiko has gotten more mature over the past four years and is doing well in his training in the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. Kaoru and I are very proud of him. Sano didn't change much, still gambling and in debt. He won't be able to avoid it forever! Kenshin chuckled at his thought, imagining Sano running from a mob of angry people he owed money to. I suppose Sano will never change. And Kaoru… He stared at the ground, almost shamefully. Tell me, Tomoe. What do you think of her? Kaoru is so young and ambitious. She is a strong girl, very determined and very beautiful… He blushed, laughing nervously then sighed disappointingly. But she deserves someone better. Someone more worthy. He swallowed, leaving his feelings for Kaoru at that. He narrowed his eyes.

I want to ask you about something. He turned slightly as if making sure that the tombstone was listening. I saw this girl at the Ryotei today. Her name is Rae. We had gone there to eat but we didn't really have a nice lunch after all. Rae had gotten into a fight with some men who had some ridiculous quarrel over her sitting in his supposed seat. The good thing was that she decided to take pity on him and let him off easy… if you could call it that. I was wondering… He cleared his throat. Maybe I'm in way over my head here but the odd thing was that she had red hair, like me. And violet eyes. I find that extremely strange as if it was a younger version of me only as a girl. I know it seems crazy but it's true… And… she looked a lot like you. Her face and the twinkle in her eye; the same. Kenshin watched sparrows dart back and forth, chirping and singing, on the branches of the tree. There is one more thing. Her last name. Her name was Yukishiro Rae. I do not know how but… Kenshin closed his eyes. What if you had lived? Would we be together right now, enjoying the new era in peace? He felt tears brim his eyes, threatening to fall. I'm so sorry, Tomoe. If I hadn't… you would still be alive and with me.

Kenshin let his tears fall freely, sobbing in silence. He hadn't cried for a while. Somehow now, when he cried, he felt more human. He felt like his soul was being cleansed for the first time. The heavy load of his sins seemed to disappear and relieve him. He smiled again.

Thank you, Tomoe. I owe a great debt to you. You showed me that I was human, back then, and even now, you continue to comfort me. You are the reason that I became a rurouni and found the answers to my questions. Although, it may seem as though you have done nothing, do not think that. You have done everything for me. You showed me love, compassion, and restored my humanity. Even if you are gone from this world, you have always been a part of life and my soul. Fourteen years and going strong. I will always love you, my beloved Tomoe.

His tears stopped falling, a smile on his face. Kenshin stood, remembering Tomoe and all the memories. He bent down, taking the Sakura flower that he had placed on her grave. He planted a kiss on it, his eyes filled with love. Slowly, he set the flower down, fingering with it then standing once again, not noticing the pair of violet eyes that watched him from just around the corner.

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A/N: I know… *sniff* I'm a sucker for the classics… What can I say? I'm a romantic ^^ Anyways, most of you are probably screaming and cursing right now because, yes, it's a cliffie. I'm working on Chapter 7!!! Don't think I'm not!!! Sheesh… crazy fans… Now, I will post up Chapter 7 and future chapters… on one condition. *flames appear in background* YOU HAVE TO R&R!!! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION. THANX!!! ^^ <-- crazy psychopath